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Checking the clock on their nightstand, Isabella sighed internally seeing it read 12:20 A.M.
Staying up this late on the “night” before class registration could be an issue of procrastination, bad memory, or total detachment from academic life for some. However, for a select few, the issue may be the total opposite; caring too much about one's academic well being, leading to overnight overthinking.
The latter issue befalls one Jiya White, who is stubbornly outside of their shared bed, and who has been since 10 P.M.
This wasn't the first time Jiya had gone through this whole rigmarole. In fact, it's become routine. Pick the classes a few days beforehand with the guidance of her counselors and personal preference, wake up a few minutes before registration opens, and fall back to sleep with the knowledge of having the next semester taken care of.
Unfortunately, that routine extends to her anxiety as well.
What would have been a quick thirty second double check turned into a 10 minute look over before bed, which turned into an hour of Rate My Professor deep dives on her future professors. "Just double checking, thân mến” she says. As much as Isabella wants to believe her, it’d be asinine to ignore the red flags in her beloved's behavior.
Regardless of connotation, Isabella knew her girlfriend inside and out. Assuring Bella as ‘thân mến’? Her native language? Jiya taking the extra effort to address her dearest in Isabella’s native language was not a casual decision, there was intent behind that. Reassurance?
Silly girl… Isabella smiles to herself as she stares at the back of Jiya’s head.
Though this consternates Jiya primarily, it would be false to claim it affects her only. Isabella hates seeing her like this, a self perpetuating stew of worry and over thinking. In a more self-full way of thinking, Isabella’s annoyed that she can’t just wish Jiya’s worries away to make her hurry to bed. However, with her usual empathetic mindset, (and knowing her girlfriend), she understood that Jiya needed love, reassurance, and understanding to have to properly settle.
So she does precisely that.
She swears that the clock did not read midnight a minute ago.
What she does know, however, is that there are two eye-shaped holes burning the back of her head, that have been there for the last 10 seconds. A bed-to-desk laser beam was invisible to all but two people.
And... she can’t pretend she didn’t know why. Every minute after her initial check felt like more weight weighing on her heart. Pressure, more and more pressure from more and more angles. From the eyes, to the redundant browser tabs, to the lack of knowledge of the future, to the well aware knowledge she’s missing sleep… nothing’s going right.
A small part of Jiya’s mind attempts to cling on to a semblance of rationalization. Doesn’t hurt to look ahead a little, surely. That’s something at least, right? Getting ahead of things, even just a little?
However, her actual rational part of her brain, that she tries to ignore, understands that the only handful of information gleaned from this whirlwind of worry were things one would gather on the first day of class. The skirmish of the nonsensical and the reality of the situation weighs on Jiya, leaving her to hang her head in shame.
I’m sorry, Bella…
“I’m gonna get some water, need anything Priya?”
Jiya didn’t even notice Isabella was standing in the bedroom doorway, smiling over her shoulder to her. Was I really that in my head?
“O-oh, uh, no I’m good Bella, *ahem*. Thank you though.”
“Ok, one sec Pri.”
Watching her girlfriend walk off and waiting for her to to go out of ear shot, Jiya lets out a sigh. Looking back at their shared bed, she notices her side particularly un-messed with. Makes sense, Jiya thinks, as she hasn't climbed in yet.
Her blanket, a weighted dark blue and black blanket is practically calling out to her. Suddenly, it gets hard to see for the gloom-prone glasses wearing girl, as her eyelids get heavier every second looking at their bed. She shakes her head to wake up, she's got work to do after all.
However, with that shake, her train of thought were interrupted. Her mind finally took in the world around her, and more importantly, her girlfriends words.
Wait, did she just call me Pri- “WHAH!”
Jiya jumps at the surprise cold on the side of her neck. Snapping toward the frigid offender, she finds.. a water bottle. Attached to that water bottle is Isabella of course, bottle in hand, a wide smile framing her face.
“Drink, dear.” Isabella says softly. “You’re thirsty.”
“I-.” Cutting herself off before lying, Jiya takes a second to reconsider. She is thirsty, how did she not notice?
A slightly raspy “Thanks.” leaves her mouth as she takes the bottle. Jiya couldn’t imagine how satisfying a simple bottle of water could be until that moment, as she nearly chugged the whole thing.
“What’cha up to over here, hm?”
Finishing her drink, Jiya, not ready, stammers, "Oh, uh.. just thinking.”
"Thinking hm?" Isabella slyly states, walking behind Jiya. "Now who told you to do such a silly thing, dear?" Isabella coos, wrapping her arms over Jiya's chest in a backward hug.
Jiya stares at her laptop and thinks some more. What is she doing really? No one told her to stay up this late after all, this is all from her volition.
"Hah, yeah I don't know, just... checking on things. " Though hydrated, a dry laugh leaves Jiya's mouth as another hit of reality hits her.
Realizing that her initial jovial attempt is not the correct method, Isabella reroutes to an alternative approach. She is not going to add on to Jiya’s internal chastising.
Releasing her hug and trasitioning into caressing Jiya’s shoulders, Isabella asks, “Don’t you… think it’d be a little more comfortable in bed?”
It’s a portable device, silly girl. Isabella thinks.
Jiya could swear her eyelids became twice as heavy the moment the word ‘bed’ was uttered. She lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Was she.. waiting for approval? Why would she need approval, it’s her own bed.
Maybe it’s not the bed itself Jiya was stuck up on…
However, these thoughts aren’t enough to disway her from finally climbing into bed.
*WRRRR* Wooosh. A surprising chill hits Jiya.
Did.. did she?
“Bella did you turn the AC on?”
"Mhm, not by much though, just a degree. A little stuffy in here, no?"
Truthfully, it was a little stuffy in their room, but deceitfully, it was by 2 degrees. A little push toward comfort doesn't hurt, right?
A further push is made as Isabella drapes the two in a particularly pleasant blanket over the two of them. Not that Jiya minds, of course.
Eyeing the unsightly amount of tabs atop Jiya's browser, Isabella makes their liquidation her mission. Peaking at Jiya's screen, she reads:
"Kelly Karkoiski. I know her, she teaches-"
"Anatomy and Physiology II, yeah."
"Looking to swap to her?"
"Well... no. Her reviews are awful, I never seen a score that low"
1.0 flat. "Wow. What do they read?"
Scrolling over previous students reports, Jiya reads: "The professor appears to lack understanding of the subject and is often rude to students. She also reacts unprofessionally when questions are raised about important concepts."
Another says: "Professor never prepared. I don't think she really knows A&P"
Lastly, and most blunt: "This teacher needs to be fired immediately."
"Yikes, well, no need considering her" Isabella says, closing the tab for Jiya, who subconsciously allows. "Well, what about last year's professor? He teaches A & P II too, right?."
"Yeah.. Everett. He wasn't too bad, he just packed way too much stuff in his weekly lessons.”
"And he kept going on tangents about future lessons."
"Mhm! And he talked super slow."
"Yep! As we've seen."
The duo thought back to just a couple months ago. Combining two 7 week courses into a single semester seemed like a good idea at the time. Quick and online? Consider them finished!
When the courses started, Jiya and Isabella were correct with the speed, but they didn't consider the fact they had other courses outside of those two courses. Jiya will never forget one lesson taking 9 hours to finish, just to get a B on that week's quiz.
Ugh, Jiya grumbled in remembrance.
"Well, I know there's that last one... Bird something..?"
"Ah yeah, Joey Bird." Jiya says, closing her previous professor's tab. "A 3.8 on RMP, that's pretty big in this field. Isabella nods in agreement. "Too bad it starts at 9 A.M."
"Yeah..." Jiya grumbles once again. She's not much of an early bird.
"Well not to worry, I'll just wake you up!" Jiya stares blankly at her partners glee in the possibility of waking her up. "Hehe. Glad we decided on him then."
...
Wait... we've had this discussion before.
From questioning the integrity of a professor's ability to teach, to struggling to understand the paradox of one's slow speech yet fast paced lessons, these two have been through it all before. Coming to this realization, she looks to her screen, then to Isabella.
Their discussion lead to this, the tab that started Jiya's initial search for the future.
Placing her hands over Jiya’s, she slowly shut the laptop shut, never breaking eye contact. Tired strained red eyes met similarly tired yet eager eyes. Rest was all but assured when Isabella breaks the anodyne silence. "Hey, you."
“Hey. … what are you doing?” Jiya inquires, seeing Isabella’s hands start to snake their way around her sides.
“Oh, nothing..” Isabella says, in the least convincing voice possible, paired with the most suspicious movements possible.
Hands placed firmly on Jiya’s waist, Isabella pauses.
And then absolutely dotes on her dearest
Tickles from her sides made her laugh, and quick kisses upon her eyes with the announcement that Jiya is "forbidden from opening her eyes tonight" left her giggly. That combination of actions letting her release the rest of the pent up worry easily.
Letting her breath, Isabella relents, with two smiles reflecting off each other.
Breaking the serene silence, Jiya says, “You knew what you were doing, calling me Priya.”
“I only thought of it from you, silly, calling me thân mến.” Isabella retaliates playfully.
Looking up at her girlfriend, Jiya felt content. The softness of the bed sinking her into the memory foam, the cool temperature of the room. Best of all though, the sight before her; her girlfriend, the one that made all this possible. For the first time that night, Jiya felt... at ease.
The irony of addressing each other also came to mind. Thân mến and Priya, Isabella’s and Jiya’s ethnic languages respectively, being used for similar yet different reasons. One for teasing, and the other for… false reassurance.
Jiya’s smile slightly faltered with these thoughts. How can one be so patient so often? This wasn’t a new scenario and she knew it. She also knew that Isabella knew, and she loathes that. She’s been proven wrong on this many a time, but Jiya really believed that time wasn’t slipping that fast. The thought of leaving Isabella to wait on her made her feel.. wrong.
“I’m sorry, Bella”
Recognizing Jiya’s remorse, Isabella began to speak up with assurance that the situation didn’t bother her, but was interrupted as Jiya had more to say.
“No really Bella, I am.” Disappointment lacing Jiya’s voice. “This isn’t the first time I stayed up like this. I made you wait, and I’m sorry.”
Isabella listens as the words she did not want to hear cycle in her brain.
“I’ll make it up to you.”
A smile, part admiration, part mystified, spread across Isabella’s face as she listened to her girlfriends passionate perambulation. Make it up to me… this girl…
"Bella I mean it, I will." Jiya says, slightly fretful.
“No no Ji, I hear you, and I believe you. Just.. what do you have to make up for?
“But, but the time-”
“I understand dear, but don’t count yourself out. Look at the time, Ji”. Isabella nods her head toward the clock, signaling to Jiya to look. Looking over, the clock on their nightstand read 12:40.
“...What about it? That it’s late?” Jiya asks in genuine confusion.
“No silly, remember what time it was the first time?” Isabella asks in kind.
Nearly 2 A.M…
Thinking back to freshman year, the previous registration date fell on a Sunday, leaving a sleep deprived Jiya to somehow operate on Monday.
“I still wish it didn’t take me till 12 whatever to calm down. I wish I didn’t need to calm down at all.” Jiya flatly states.
“And I wish I had finalized my major freshman year, but here I am. Here we are. I only could've done it with you, dear.”
Borderline speechless at Isabella’s affirmation, Jiya continues to listen.
“You have nothing to make up for, you're already doing that by just being you Pri. Being in the moment with you, is all I could ever want, which you do everyday. It's best being in the present, no?"
Jiya takes in her partner's words. Be in the present… She’s heard that advice before, in fact, it’s taught in her classes. A Psychology major taking in her lessons only after first-hand experience… odd how that works.
“Yeah..” Jiya says, her stiff demeanor fully absent.
Pleased to see her beloved in her usual state, Isabella adds “Now… who told you to open your eyes again?”
“Oh my God Bella I can’t with you!” Jiya laughs, burying her head in Isabella’s chest.
Pleased to see her last minute tease was successful, Isabella dotes on Jiya for a final time that night with a kiss on the crown.
A quick peak at the digital clock turns into a quiet sigh of content for Isabella.
12:45 AM. A new record, and one to be inevitably beaten.
Jiya’s back pressed on Isabella’s chest, the latter has the honor of playing the part of the big spoon that night. Jiya deserves some pampering, no?
Sitting up slightly, Isabella reaches over and presses a soft kiss on Jiya’s cheek.
Can’t beat being in the present now can you, silly girl?