Chapter Text
Headcanon #1 — Rin is a light sleeper and struggles with insomnia and Isagi is a heavy sleeper who always falls asleep really fast and snores loudly.
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It seemed to happen to him all the time.
Rin would lay awake trying to sleep at night and find himself unable to. Partially it was due to things like stress. He figured maybe it was also a magnesium deficiency or whatever else mineral deficiencies Sae had warned him about. Either way, no amount of magnesium or melatonin supplementation, meditation before bed, or counting sheep in his mind, ever seemed to help him fall asleep any faster.
In contrast, Isagi always fell asleep around ten minutes after going to bed, barely seemed to toss and turn, and he snored about as loudly as Rin thought one person physically could. He was, by every standard, Rin's greatest nemesis when it came to his insomnia issues.
Like clockwork, the diabolically fast sleeper was out like a light, and Rin was forced to stare at the dark bedroom ceiling above him, listening as the obnoxious sounds of Isagi's snoring grew ever louder.
The thought that maybe a man should be allowed to murder his partner if he wanted to under the premise of saving himself from further snoring-induced torment was more than just an idle fleeting thought this evening. Why had he ever agreed to sleep in the same bed as this tyrant, this... This demon king? This egotistical maniac with both the apparent lung capacity and decibels of his snores equivalent to that of three adults?
This was an absolute nightmare.
Rin shoved Isagi's shoulder, shifting him just enough so that the infernal snoring seemed to quiet down momentarily... Only momentarily, though. Until it resumed a couple of minutes later, when Rin thought he may actually get to sleep—this time it was somehow even louder than it had been before Rin's interference.
Rin wanted to curse Isagi to his deathbed, maybe that would be when he finally got a break from all this racket. Instead of that, he shoved Isagi again, this time as hard as he could. The guy turned over onto his side part way. The snoring subsided, however, he continued to slip backward, and that was when Rin realized what was going to happen when it was already too late.
In Isagi's corpse-like state, he slid off the edge of the bed, hitting the floor with a dull thud.
Rin closed his eyes in willful ignorance. He didn't mean to do that, but at least, he figured, now Isagi would probably stop snoring for long enough for him to maybe possibly hopefully fall asleep.
Well... No, apparently not. Less than ten minutes later, Isagi was back to rattling out snores that were about to be the reason Rin lost his mind completely. This time, from the floor.
Fed up, Rin angrily grabbed his pillow and went out to sleep on the futon.
The next morning, Isagi woke up on the floor after what had felt like another good night's sleep for him. While he rubbed the fatigue out of his eyes and got to his feet, he took note of the empty bed beside him.
When he went out to make green tea for the morning, he then noticed where the missing Rin had taken off to. The guy was crumpled up on the couch, his hair a mess of tufts from tossing and turning. Apparently, though he appeared to be sleeping, he was actually awake, eyes drooping open to look across the room at the arisen Demon King of Snoring.
"Ah... I may have slept in a little bit..." Isagi rubbed the back of his neck and yawned loudly, "What're you doing sleeping out here?"
Isagi's obliviousness really was something else. Not a something else that was very appealing to the sleep deprived Rin in his current shape, though.
"I slept like shit last night. You, Isagi Yoichi, snore as loud as a damn grizzly bear."
"Oh. I snored again, huh? Sorry..." Isagi's voice trailed off sleepily while he looked down into the insomniac's bloodshot eyes. "You really are such a light sleeper. Hm... Maybe we should try and go to the sleep doctor together?"
"Doctor would imply I've got an issue here, which I don't. Go yourself."
"You don't think you've got an issue? Well then how was your sleep after abandoning me in the bedroom, then?"
"It was..." Rin grumbled, squinting. having not already snapped back with something sassy or condascending, Isagi thought he knew why that was.
"Still horrible," Isagi finished Rin's sentence for him, "I'll book us both in at the sleep doctor."
Rin flipped the sofa covers over his head, ending the conversation. Isagi chuckled in amusement to himself while he made tea.