Chapter Text

Rain of Ashes

By Kessie

Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa etc, Square Enix and funimition. I don’t make a profit

Pairing - various combinations of Roy/Riza/Maes/Gracia

Rating - NC-17 to be safe

Warning: very angsty!!! Character deaths or are they?!!??

Summary - Gracia had always feared this day might come.

Author’s Note #1 -This is my first Fullmetal Alchemist fic so bear with me. Also this is unbetaed so read on your own risk.

Author’s Note #3- italics are flashbacks

Author’s Note #3: Story goes AU from Episode 42/43

The knock on the door had come when Gracia had been baking cookies with Elicia. Hands still greasy from dough, she grabbed a towel wipe them clean on her way to the door, somehow already knowing something was wrong.

With Maes and the others being on a mission she had been left waiting again, hoping that everything went all right.

Like always.

Sighing she wandered into the hall. They didn’t get many visitors, much less at this time of the day, and so she took one last breath, bracing herself for what was on the other side of the door. Grabbing the handle, she opened it and came face to face with Second Lieutenant Havoc.

"Mrs. Hughes," he greeted, his expression already showing the message he was going to give, "There… there has been an accident…!"

She swallowed and guided him inside, leading him into the kitchen where Elicia was still playing with the dough that hadn't found a place in the oven yet. "Hun, I think we have baked enough cookies for today, how about you go a play a bit with your dolls in the living room?" Instinctively she didn’t want her daughter to hear this.

It would be hard enough for her already.

Helping her daughter to wash her hands in the sink she then watched as the small one ran towards the living room without complaining.

"Have a seat" She motioned Havoc, who did what he was told. Then much weaker. "What happened?"

Havoc took a deep breath before starting. "We got a report from the East today. There was a fight. They are missing, but it doesn’t look good. Military is about to pronounce them dead."

Gracia nodded, playing a bit with a piece of dough in front of her. "How?" Was all she could manage.

Havoc steadied himself again, clearly close to breaking himself.

"They were cornered in a house, while they were fighting. When the troops came to help there was a huge blast, leaving nothing but a huge pile of rubble. They haven't found anything but ashes and a few bits of their uniform. Roy….they believe that he was the one who killed them, apparently seeing no other way out."

Silence. Gracia was kneading the piece of dough in her hand now, tears misting her eyes.

"Riza…"

"Was with them, yes."

Her gaze dropped and she found herself staring at the table, trying so hard to think straight but failing. God no. All three of them at once? That couldn’t be, no. Life couldn’t be so unfair and… That meant she was all alone now.

"The only one we found was Edward Elric. He was near the building when it happened. He survived, but is hurt pretty bad and still unconscious. But he'll pull through."

Edward. They boy who was like a son to Maes and her. She should have known he couldn’t be far form danger as well. Her loved ones never were.

"Can I see him?"

Havoc nodded. "Yes, I already made the arrangements. He will arrive in the hospital here tomorrow morning. Alphonse is with him in the train now. He is pretty shaken by everything of course. He was a few blocks away when it happened."

Gracia nodded, thinking.

Try to be steady. You can't break. Not now. The kids need you. She practically scolded herself, but was failing. Wiping off the tears from her cheek her gaze again turned to Havoc who was watching her with a worried expression.

"Gracia, if I can do anything…" He started but she hold up a hand.

"No its okay, Jean. I just … Elicia needs to go to bed soon."

Jean nodded and got up to leave, seemingly understanding that she needed to be alone now.

They walked towards the door in silence.

"I´ll come and get you at eight, okay?" Havoc said and she nodded, already wanting to close the door as he stopped again.

"Gracia? I´m so sorry. I wished I…"

She managed a tiny smile. " I know, Jean. I know."

And then he was gone, leaving her alone to her thoughts and her three ghosts of what had been.

Gracia didn’t know if he and the others knew that the four of them had been lovers, but she thought they'd probably suspected it.

It was left unspoken, though, fraternization was forbidden and even if they hadn't been in the military; a relationship with four people was not the norm.

Damn the norm, Gracia thought with a sigh.

So many secrets, so much hiding.

They had never been safe.

"Mommy, is Unca Jean gone already?" Gracia hadn't even heard Elicia come into the hall. Turning around she hid her tears under a well schooled mask and smiled.

"Yeah, hun he has to get up early tomorrow. And so do you."
Leading her daughter into the bedroom, Gracia was glad when Elicia went to bed without complaining.

Elicia was smart, so she probably felt something was up, but Gracia knew she couldn’t explain everything to her daughter now.

It was just too fresh.

Switching off the light and giving the little one her goodnight kiss she went downstairs again, letting herself fall onto the couch. She closed her eyes and listened a while to endless tick-tock of the living room clock. It grew unnerving after a time and so she opened her eyes again, instantly regretting it as her gaze went over to the photo. There, left to her on the little table, was a picture of her and Maes. Roy had took last year on the beach when they were on vacation.

It showed her and Maes in loving embrace, smiling at the camera, just being happy.

This seemed like another time now.

Maes.

Her wonderful, beautiful Maes. Feeling his embrace again was all she wanted now, but she knew it would never come.

She had fallen in love with him the first time she saw him and back then she hadn't even know his heart. Now she knew the full extent of it and it even made her ache more.

"Hello. Where are my little darlings!" Maes opened the door to his house, grinning from one ear to another. "Gracia, Elicia!"

"Daddy! Daddy!" The little one had stormed towards him at once and he scooped her up in his arms, while his wife entered from the kitchen.

"Hello hun, how was your day?" She asked, stealing a kiss, while Maes set Elicia down again.

"Oh the usual. But…"grabbing into his bag he brought out a huge Teddybear, holding it out to Elicia." Look what I have found!"

The eyes of the small one lit up and she embraced the bear instantly, smiling.

"Aww, Daddy! He is so beautiful! I´ll name him Edward."

Maes chuckled a bit. What would Fullmetal say to this? Maes probably didn’t want to know, did he?

He already could hear Fullmetal´s voice: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO CUTE THAT HE COULD BE CONFUSED WITH SUGAR?

Actually it would be too funny.

But no, he wasn’t going to tease the boy like Roy did.

It wouldn't be fair.

Gracia had just watched the whole exchange and shook her head, seemingly amused as well.

"You are spoiling her Maes!" She said, but didn’t really look annoyed. "She already has an armada of stuffed animals up there and soon she wont fit in her own bed anymore!"

Maes grinned and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Am I?" He asked, producing another small package from the bag.

"Aww Maes you shouldn’t have!"

"Naw nothing is good enough for my little darlings!" Another longing kiss and soon Gracia was wearing the ring that Maes had bought her.

"Hun. You shouldn’t always buy so expensive stuff." She said, looking at it for another time, admiring the beautiful stone in the middle.

"I know, but I want to. After all there's nothing more dear as my loved ones!"

Gracia had just smiled at that.

Getting up, she wandered over to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a whiskey. But just one, she told herself, knowing that she would need a clear head for everything. Anyway one couldn’t hurt, could it? Shaking her head she found she sounded just like Roy. It made her smile somewhat.

She would miss these beautiful dark eyes and the dark hair she couldn’t help but ruffle every time she saw it. And his smile, rare but so genuine it always made her heart melt.

She still remembered the first time he had joined her and Maes in bed. He had been so shy…

"Roy, you coming?" Maes looked at his friend for another time, waving him over to the bed, where he and Gracia already were embraced. "Are you having second thoughts? You don’t have to ..."

Roy scooted a bit closer to them, but still kept a distance.
 "I … I don’t know, it feels a bit weird simply joining in. I mean you guys are going to be married soon and I don’t really belong…" 

Now it was Gracia who shook her head.

"No, Roy that's not true. You belong already. I told you I knew of you and Maes for a long time now and it`s okay."

Roy smiled for second, but then dropped his gaze again, still a bit embarrassed and insecure. "But… but its not the…"

He didn’t come any further because Gracia silenced him effectively with a longing kiss. "No buts hun..." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. At first he responded to it a bit shy but as he felt Maes embracing him from behind he let himself fall…

They had made love the whole night back then.

And it had grown from there. Even more so as Riza had appeared in their lives. Well, technically she had been there all along but it had taken a while until she practically had fell into the relationship with them. Roy had been the one who started it, since he had been in love with her for a long time already. And instead of developing two couples they developed a foursome.

A strong group of people who couldn’t be separated, no matter what.

And Riza had been one of the strongest of them.

Maes had been hurt. That was all Gracia knew.

In a rush of panic she had ran into the hospital, where she had to wait in front of closed doors, since he was still in surgery.

Even though she just had arrived a few minutes ago waiting was unnerving her already.

"He'll be all right, don’t worry. The bullet just hit his arm." She hadn't even noticed that Riza had come up behind her but relaxed somewhat as she felt herself embraced by two arms.

Turning around she searched for the strong woman's eyes, but Riza avoided her.

"I´m sorry. I should have made sure he didn't..."Guilt came of the other woman in waves, but Gracia shook her head.

"Riza, its all right. I know you always look out for him. But sometimes they are just too stupid for their own good."

Maes and a few others had been training at the shooting range and a stray bullet had hit Maes at his arm. Apparently there had been alcohol involved and Roy had already suspended the soldier responsible for this. Later it turned out all he had gotten was a tiny graze but nevertheless she had been worried.

"Yeah, I know..." Riza was smiling now and drew the woman in for a longing kiss, which Gracia answered a bit hesitantly.

"Riza, we shouldn’t.. you're in uniform…"

But Riza just grinned at her and gave her another kiss on the cheek.

"I send the nurse to her lunch break, don’t worry. Said I would take care of you."

Gracia couldn’t help but smile. Of course Riza had thought of everything. She always did.

Gracia smiled at the memory and let a few tears fall. It would have felt so good to be in Riza´s strong arms now. But it wasn’t supposed to be.

Looking outside at the now already dawning sky she decided she had to be strong.

For her.

.

And for them.