Chapter Text
He made art in the form of a canva:
He made art in the form of a dish.
Long ago, in a neighbourhood located in New Jersey, lived a man named Gordon Ramsay. The man, famous and, quite handsome, had learned that not even money, fame, or michelin stars could get him the earth's most prized posession: love.
Gordon was the definition of constructive criticism, and of a wise phrase that goes along the lines: "Beneath the ice cold exterior, feelings remain."
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May 17th to 24th:Unknown & Loved At First Sight
Word has it, there was going to be an exhibition held by no other than the legendary: Bob Ross.
Gordon was watching the TV, changing the channels while wondering: "Oh what the heck?! when did TV channels get this bad? did they run out of ideas? This is worse than watching MTV reality TV shit."
Suddenly-
A news channel catches his attention.
Believe me, Gordon was as picky with his food as he was with the TV channels. He wasn't the type of man to just.. watch the news. But an announcement really interested him:
"We've been informed that, the legendsry artist Bob Ross is holding an exhibition at the museum Grounds For Sculpture located in the New Jersey town Hamilton!"-the news reporter said, almost shouting from excitement. It was clear that this was a HUGE and important thing, as Bob Ross was really famous, and talented.
Upon hearing this, Gordon set a goal: going to the exhibition.
Not because he was interested in art, but because he heard there were going to be paintings with drawings of food in them, and he wanted to "test the realism of them."
The day came and Gordon was excited. Excited to "teach people what food really is, and is meant to be."
As he stepped in the museum, he was greeted by the paintings of casual dishes he found familiar.. but they were perfect. and realistic. Mac and cheese, spaghetti with meatballs, and etc.
He looked around. He was looking forward to "humilliating stupid portraits of food", but not today Gordon, not today.
He was mad at first, but then he decided he was happy, because someone had finally understood how/what food is supposed to be.
"Oi, where is the damn painter?!" shouted Gordon, heads turned to him. They recognized him from Hell's kitchen and more, they were scared that he was mad, so a few people started leading the way to where Bob was.
Bob. ever so clueless, was just greeting a few special guests in a corner, near a painting he called: "Starry Turkish Delight" (A play between "turkish delight" and Vincent Van Gogh's iconic painting "Starry Night")
As Gordon appeared in Bob's view, he told to the guests talking to him: "Excuse me for a second, Mr and Mrs Mcfly."
Mr and Mrs M moved, and just went on to admire the "Mona Sprite". When Gordon was finally infront of Bob, he said;
G:"Hey. Those are nice paintings you got there."
B:"Oh, wow, well if it isn't multi michelin-starred chef Gordon Ramsay! That's a great compliment coming from you."
Gordon let out a chuckle. If there was something he loved most, it was praise.
G:"I have a feeling we're going to get along just well."
B:"So do I. We both share a love for good food, so it seems," - he joked, but he knew that what Gordon say was true.
As the conversation developed, they befriended eachother. Then, like everything, it came to an end. They didn't know it, but they spent 3 hours talking. To them, it just felt like 15 minutes.
G:"So, you got a number?"
B:"Oh, sure, yeah, it's: "2460117767".
Gordon took out his phone, opened his notes app and started writing it down as Bob said the numbers slowly. When he finished noting the number down, he replied with his number.
G:"Great! Mine's: "9600056786".
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As days passed by, they couldn't stop thinking about eachother. It was.. odd, to say the least. They didn't know why they yearned to interact with eachother again, but it seems like Gordon's friend, Lin (Lin Manuel Miranda) did.
They were hanging out at a Cafe, y'know, drinking espressos.. And Gordon kept zoning out. He had ordered a Croissant and a black coffe.
"Ey, what's wrong, man? Something on your mind? You haven't complained even once about the coffee being too bitter, or the croissant being too cold".
After Gordon didn't reply for a long minute, Lin patted his shoulder.
"Y'know, you seem to zone out too much, man... wait, are you thinking about LADIES?!
Gordon looked at Lin dead in the eye and said:
"Oh, shut up (shatap in british accent), wanker."
Lin loved Gordon's british accent. In fact, it made him laugh, that's how they became friends. (because even when Gordon tries to be extremely intimidating, his accent makes him seem like a stand up comedian, so Lin wasn't really afraid of him, but rather amused and found Gordon friendly).
Gordon rested his face on his hand.
"Well... there IS someone i'm thinking about. He's not a lady, and it's not in a romantical way."
"WHAAAAAAAAT? Not in a "romantical way"? then in what way?"
"Well.. you see, Lin, i yearn for someone who understands my love for food, and-"
"Pfft, i love food too..." He interrupted.
"..And a passion for realism." After a long pause, Gordon continued: "Bob. His name is Bob, Bob Ross. You either dont know him or know too much about him. But anyway, he understands me, he found me friendly, and not because of my "funny accent."
"... ohh WHAAAAAAT man?? you sure its just a FRIENDSHIP and not another TYPE OF SHIP??"
".. another type of ship-" he repeated. "What other fucking type of ship can it be, Lin?? The bloody titanic?"
Lin blinks slowly once. Then twice. He seems baffled by Gordon's "stupidity" right now.
"You-you dont know types of ships- okay. there's friendship, situationship, and relationship. You, are in phase one. Not just "friendship", but also "denial"-"
G:"And what are talking stages called? what types of "ships" are they?"
L:"wha- it's just "talking stage", theres no ship of it-"
G:"What about.. Talkship? Tastageship?-"
L: "DUDE THERES NO "SHIP" FOR THAT- anyway, so you're in denial, and in friendship. And well, what type of person "yearns" for their friend?? pfft, you're just inlove-"
G:"I am NOT inlove, i just met the guy."
L:".. AND?? i fell inlove with Jonathan Groff the minute i saw him. Love ar first sigh exists, y'know.. and he's too cute... we're having a date, y'know.." lin looked down at the floor smiling a bit, then he snapped back to reality. "Right. This is about you and Bob. WAIT- I HAVE AN EXCELLENT IDEA!!" Lin leaned in closer. "so Jonathan and I are having a dste and you like this Bob guy-"
G:"I do not like Bob."
".. well, we could have a.. DOUBLE DATE! THATS IT!! I'M A GENIUS WHAAAAAAAAT!!!" he threw his hands to his head, clearly not believing his genius idea"
Gordon closes his eyes, then he takes deep breaths. He looks like he's about to start fuming, with smoke coming out of his ears and making train noises like in those cartoons.
"Lin, i'm gonna say this slower so your fast-talking-ass and slow-hearing-ears can get this. I am not inlove with Bob ."
Lin's smile fades quickly. He leans back in his chair, looking like a kicked puppy.
L:"oh-uh, well.. " - Gordon crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair too. an awkward silence quickly invaded their table, both avoiding any eye contact or even looking/glancing at eachother.
L:"and.. here i was going to show you a really bad restaurant. with rotten food, bugs, and you could have had humilliated the cooks.. but.. well.. since you don't wanna go on the doublr date..-
Gordon's head perks up as Lin speaks, then he immediately says: "Deal." as if this were a bussines proposal. Lin immediately took out his phone, dialed Jonathan Groff's number (his boyfriend):
"Jonathan? Jonathan john jon jonathan byers???helloooooo???? answeeeerrrr??? yeah so, he agreed to the double date. I told you he would. you owe me 20 bucks john johnny jon...." (imagine he keeps talking)
Gordon just looks amused by the phone call. "holy fresh guacamole." he thinks to himself. "why does jonathan have more nicknames for jonathan than trump has?"
As Lin kept talking, Gordon once again zoned out. He was thinking about the conversation Lin and He just had.
"Ships? why's there a situationship?? the heck is that?? wait am i in a "titanic ship" with bob? wait no not that- he said domething about denial and relationships.. oh yeah. he thinks i like Bob. fucking dumbass". he thought.
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Once Gordon got home, he took out his phone, checked his notes app: "2460117767" he muttered to himself. then, he dialed the number... and called Bob.