Archive of Our Own ^beta

Arsenal stands in front of Red Hood's loaded gun. More specifically, Arsenal is staring down the barrel of Red Hood's loaded gun. The safety is off, the hammer is cocked, and Hood's gloved hand rests on the trigger. The helmet is laying on the ground behind Hood. Roy's life has never been more in someone's hands. He's never been safer.

"You're not gonna shoot me, Jaybird." Even now, Roy's trust in Jason is absolute. And yes, Jason might shoot him, but he won't kill Roy, and that's what matters.

"I fucking will," is the gritted response, barely escaping between clenched teeth, eyes entirely, dangerously, green with the Lazarus Pit still trapped in his veins. Even like this, Jason is stunning.

"Then do it."

Jason does.

Roy is nearly certain that the gun is dismantled and hits the floor before he registers the bullet hitting him.

It's a good shot, he thinks.

Through and through, his vigilante mind supplies.

The guilt is gonna fuck him up, the rest of his mind — the parts occupied with thinking about, with caring about, Jason — processes shortly after.

It's not even a bad gunshot wound, either. Roy's definitely had worse. Even in his altered state, Hood had aimed for an area with non-vital organs and avoided bones and joints. His life would be so much easier if he could be shot like this every time.

Jason is about to run. There's the same tension in the air as when Kori disappeared to Tamaran. Roy felt the same horrifying feeling creep up his spine in that warehouse the last time Jason tried to leave him. He has his helmet back in his hands, clinging to it like a lifeline.

"Jaybird…" Roy's voice is strained with pain, and he flinches almost as hard as Jason does when he hears it. "Jason, stay." Roy mentally thanks whatever god still might be listening that his voice is steadier this time.

Jason looks up, and his eyes are nearly back to normal, the green lingering at some of the edges but no longer swallowing the blue.

He looks scared, Roy thinks.

The gun is still on the ground between them from where Jason had thrown it away, before retreating to the closest exit door.

"Jaybird…blood loss…safe house?" Roy knows it's a proverbial bandaid on a literal gunshot wound, but he also knows that once they're somewhere with a med kit, he can convince Jason to stay long enough to patch him up. After that, he can probably convince him to make him food, and if he falls asleep before it's finished, Jason won't wake him up. It'll give Roy extra time to plot how to keep his…partner with him.

They aren't anything, not really, but not for a lack of trying on Roy's part. If he was allowed, he would drag Jason to the courthouse as soon as the bleeding stopped. But Bats have never been good with commitment, and he's just grateful that Jason has stayed with him this long. He'll take whatever he can get, as long as it's from Jason.

Jason is in front of him, his lips bleeding. Roy has to stop himself from reaching out to soothe them. Jason has always chewed on his lips when he's stressed, and never more often than when Roy is hurt. Neither of them think about what that means.

His panic is tangible, the way his hands flail helplessly in the air before he remembers that he has pressure bandages in his utility belt, the multiple attempts it takes to rip open the package from how badly he's shaking.

"I can call…" he trails off. Jason has always hated outsourcing fixing his mistakes. It was one of the biggest points of contention when Red Hood came back to the Bats. The entire family shows love by fixing things, and when they took that agency from Jason, it made him feel that they didn't trust him. It was years and many therapists ago, but in this moment, it might as well have been yesterday.

Roy knows what Jason is thinking probably better than Jason himself. Knows that he thinks Roy will hate him or be scared of him, that Roy will want Dinah or Ollie or even Dick instead — anyone but Jason — but that he also wants to be the one to take care of Arsenal. To be the one who stitches his injuries back together, tells him it'll be alright. Roy wants that too.

"Take me home, darlin'. We can figure everything else out after."

"Are…are you sure?"

Roy has never been more sure of anything in his life, than that he wants Jason Todd to take him home.

"Positive. Let's get out of here."

Hood grabs the pieces of the gun and helps Roy to his motorcycle.

♦♦♦

Jason takes them to one of his nicer safe houses. Roy doesn't mention that it's practically an apartment, nor does he mention that he has nearly as many things here as Jason. If he messes up the delicate situation, soon the only things in here will be his, and Jason will act like he's never been in this building before. He gets dropped softly onto the couch while Jason disappears to grab their the medical kit. It's fully stocked, which means Jason must have stopped by the Batcave recently. Or, more likely, someone hounded Jason to come to the Batcave and resupply.

In the grand scheme of things, Roy doesn't particularly care when the result is the same — Jason biting his lip, his brow furrowed in concentration as he places neat rows of sutures.

Roy will never say it out loud, but Jason has the uncanny ability to provide the gentlest medical care Roy has ever had. He knows Jason will protest it, will say, "The Red Hood isn't gentle" with some kind of scoff, and Roy won't argue. He won't bring up how whenever one of Jason's siblings need something, they come to him instead of Bruce, or how the street kids call him Papa, or how the working girls call him Hermano.

None of them will help him make his point because Jason as already created an image about himself. An image, that the bullet hole he's currently stitching up will only reinforce. It's been years since the duffle bag incident at this point, and sometimes Jason still thinks he's that same person. He's not, and Roy knows that, and the Bats know that, but Jason doesn't. At least, not truly.

He hears the rustle of the gauze packaging and feels Jason start to bandage up the now closed wounds. Roy will need to figure something out before Jason decides to disappear forever.

"Okay, so you should be g—"

"Jaybird', I'm hungry. Make something for me? Please?"

"There's cash in the usual spot. You can order something."

Jason's eyes are not-so-subtly trying to calculate his best exit, and Roy wisely decides that mentioning that Jason saying "usual spot" and expecting Roy to know what it is should mean something. It does, he thinks; it's another matter to get Jason to believe that it does.

"Most places are closed by now." That's a lie, and Jason knows it. It's barely 11 PM. Plenty of places would still be open. "Y'know your food has magical healing properties, darlin'." That might actually be true. Roy swears he healed better whenever Jason cooks for him.

"Roy…you know I can just or—"

"Please?"

Jason had once told him that if Roy asked for something Jason could give him, that he would. He's asking for this. He is asking for Jason to stay.

Jason sighs.

"Let me change, and I'll make us something."

Us.

Roy has won the battle for tonight, but the war is still raging.

Once he hears Jason getting to work in the kitchen, Roy digs out the pieces of the handgun and starts putting it back together. He leaves it in the nightstand on his side of the bed and decidedly doesn't think about how he and Jason have their own sides of the bed and still call themselves just friends.

Roy has barely re-situated himself on the couch when Jason appears carrying something to drink. He sets water and some kind of herbal tea on the coffee table. It smells familiar in a way he can't quite place, and Jason makes him promise to at least try it before he disregards it.

It's disgusting, like Roy thought it would be, but it does take some of the sting out of his wound. (He'll ask Jason about it, and the only answer he'll get is that it's entirely herbal and that he doesn't need to worry about any addictive properties. He isn't worried about that — Jason would never do that to him. Later he'll learn that Talia sends it to Jason semi-frequently, and he won't know how to feel about it).

Jason appears with plates in his hand, and whatever he made smells heavenly. Roy's heart only sinks a little when he realizes it's stir fry. The younger man only makes the meal when he's still feeling some after effects of the Pit. He told Roy once that cutting all of the ingredients gave the Pit's energy somewhere to go — the pantomime of violence enough to keep it at bay. It's delicious because of course it is, because Jason made it.

They eat dinner together, and for a moment, Roy believes he can let himself have this.

Or rather, for a moment Roy believes that Jason will let himself have this.

♦♦♦

They almost make it to bed without incident.

Somehow Roy gets Jason showered and changed into his sleep clothes without a fight. Roy makes lets him sit in the bathroom while the archer showers, in an attempt to ease Jason's continued concern over his gunshot wound. It's definitely not an excuse for Roy to make sure that he doesn't run.

Jason covers the sutures in some kind of plastic wrap, fancy and expensive enough that it must have come from the Batcave. Roy will have to see if he can steal some the next time he has a reason to visit Wayne Manor.

The transition from the bathroom to the bedroom is seamless, and Roy lets himself just breathe for a moment.

The issue arises when Jason won't get into the bed.

He tries to convince Roy that he'll sleep on the couch. Roy tries to convince him that he sleeps better with Jason.

He does, but that's not the point. Not now.

The point now is that he wants Jason to stay. No, the point is that he needs Jason to stay.

"Just get in the bed, Jaybird."

They're standing across from each other, the bed between them, in some kind of poor imitation of a stand-off. Jason's jaw is tense, the rest of his muscles pulled tight, and his fist keeps clenching and unclenching — a habit for when he has something to say and can't find the words, or thinks the person doesn't want to hear it.

He's wrong.

Roy always wants to hear what Jason has to say.

"Just say it, Jason." He tries not to be annoyed, even though he thought they were past this. It's not Jason's fault — living the life Jason lived, dying the death Jason died, and then re-living the new life would have fucked anyone up. All things considered, he thinks his Jaybird is doing better than a lot of other people would be.

"I can't—" That's not right. Jason can do anything he puts his mind to.

He tries again.

"You shouldn't—” They've had plenty of fights about Jason trying to tell Roy what he should do in his personal life. It's usually some version of the younger man telling Roy that he shouldn't care about Jason. He hasn't done it in a while, but the archer is convinced that the instinct comes standard with Bat training.

"I'm sorry," is what he finally settles on.

"I know, darlin'. Get in the bed," is Roy's easy response.

"I should g—"

"Jaybird, to be perfectly honest, if you don't get in the bed in the next ninety seconds, I might shoot you ."

"Okay."

So that's what this is about.

"I'm not gonna shoot you, Jaybird. Get in the bed, please."

"You could."

Roy knows he could, in the same way that right now he knows he could do almost anything to Jason, and Jason would think he deserves it because he hurt Roy.

It's unhealthy and wrong. Roy has been in enough therapy to figure that out, and he hopes Jason knows that — he hopes he has shown Jason that — but the archer also understands that the small amount of care Jason lets him show is stacked against nearly two decades of pain.

"I'm not going to shoot you, Jason."

The younger man is still tense.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Jason."

"Why?" His voice is too small. Roy hates it.

"Because you don't deserve it." Jason opens his mouth, probably to protest that fact. Roy is having none of it. "You don't."

"I hurt you."

"You did, but you also did the best you could with what you had in front of you. How could I ask anymore of you than that?"

"I could've done more—"

"You did enough."

"I shot you. I shot my… my friend." Jason puts an interesting emphasis in the sentence — almost as interesting as him getting hung up on the word "friend" — but neither are Roy's concern right now.

Not when Jason looks like he's a moment away from falling apart.

The handgun is still sitting in Roy's nightstand. He reaches over to take it out; he left it unloaded when he put it away, but the lighter weight is a nice reminder that it is still unloaded.

He disengages the safety before he levels it at Jason.

It's a mockery of the situation that started all of this.

Roy is not Red Hood, and he doesn't even have any of his Arsenal gear right now.

He cocks the gun, the sound of the hammer locking into place loud in the silence of the bedroom.

Jason doesn't flinch.

He pulls the trigger, and the chamber clicks uselessly.

Jason doesn't even blink.

Roy lowers the gun.

"I'm not going to shoot you, Jaybird. I love you too much to help you destroy yourself like this." The archer hears it the moment it leaves his mouth; it's too honest. He needs to start damage control now before Jason runs for good.

"I-I love you too." For a moment he thinks he imagined it, but Jason's blush is spreading towards his collarbone, and he's staring at the ground like he hopes it'll swallow him up.

"Jaybird. Darlin'. Can you look at me?"

Jason does look up but can't meet Roy's eyes, his gaze instead locked onto where Roy is still holding the handgun. His chest expands and contracts rapidly, in time with the younger man's quickened breaths, and when the redhead moves the gun, his pupils dilate just enough.

Oh.

Oh.

"You're sorry, darlin'?"

Jason nods, still watching Roy's hands.

"Nuh uh. Use your words, Jaybird."

"I'm sorry." It's barely more than a whisper.

"What for?"

"For…for shooting you."

"What, with this?" Roy waves the handgun in direct defiance of every firearm safety course he's ever taken. Jason's eyes follow the movement intensely, and he licks his lips.

"Ye-yeah."

"If you're so sorry about shooting me with this gun," and Jason swallows nearly audibly at that, "why don't you let me fuck you with it?"

"Please s—" Jason cuts off what he was wanted to say which is just unacceptable when he's so polite like this.

"Please what?"

"Please, Sir."

"Good boy."

Jason whines, and Roy rushes to his side so that he can lay Jason gently down on the bed.

"I'm sorr—"

"Shh, it's okay, darlin'. I got you. You can let go now. I'll take care of you."

♦♦♦

The headboard groans from where Jason's wrists are tied to it, as he tests the knots. Roy knows that if Jason actually tries to get out of them he easily can, even fully naked with no equipment in reach, but they serve their purpose of reminding Jason where his hands go. He has no doubts that his Jaybird will be good.

They've never actually done this before. He and Jason have hooked up before, but it was mostly quick, adrenaline-fuelled hand jobs wherever they could find a modicum of privacy after a successful mission. Roy doesn't think they've ever hooked up in a bed, and certainly not like this.

There has never been anything with as much commitment as this.

Nothing has ever meant something like this does.

Jason's eyes are glassy but still bright as he twists his wrists in the bindings. Roy's not worried; he knew the silk ropes he bought in Arsenal red on a whim would come in handy. He just didn't think he would ever be so lucky that the reason would be Jason.

Roy tests the tie on Jason's chest and thighs by gently tugging on them, and the whine that escapes goes straight to his dick. He's never heard Jason be loud, not like this. They've always been too preoccupied by getting off and not getting caught.

The blush is back, and now Roy can watch it spread down Jason's chest. He's chewing on his lips again, and Roy stops him by pressing his own to Jason's. He thinks it might be the first time they've actually kissed.

"If we're gonna do this, then I wanna hear you, Jaybird. Think you can do that for me?"

Jason nods. "Yes, Sir."

"Of course you can. You're so good for me darlin'."

Another whine escapes, and Roy kisses Jason again to swallow it down.

He kisses and bites his way down Jason's neck and chest, relishing every moan and shudder he can drag out. The marks will fade into nothing almost immediately after this, which is not Roy's preference, but leaving marks that last will hurt Jason. That's not what tonight is about.

"You're so pretty, Jaybird."

Jason tries to shake his head, but Roy gently grabs his chin. He stares into Jason's eyes, and is in awe of how blue they are, not even a trace of Lazarus green mixed in.

"Would I lie to you, Jay?"

"No, Sir."

"And I told you were pretty, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

"What does that mean?"

It takes Jason a moment to find the right words, floaty as he is, but that's okay. Roy can be patient. There's no length of time he wouldn't wait for Jason Todd.

"Th…that…that I'm pretty? Sir?"

"Very good, darlin'."

Jason preens under the praise, and a shy smile makes an appearance. It might be the most breathtaking thing Roy has ever seen in his life.

He continues mapping Jason's body with his lips, paying special reverence to the brazen Y-shaped scar. It's raised and prominent, and the archer hates that Jason hates it, but how could Roy hate the proof that Jason came back. To him.

Roy turns his attention to Jason's thighs, pulling the ropes just enough so they're snug, but not so much that they could cause any kind of discomfort. Jason arches his back and whimpers.

"Please. Sir."

"Good boy using your words, darlin', but you're gonna have to be more specific." He returns to paying Jason's thighs attention, but slips his hands between Jason and the mattress so he can palm the other's ass.

"I — ah, fuck, please — more, Sir, please, fuck. Wanna cum, please."

Jason Todd has never been soft, but Roy thinks this might be the closest he's ever been.

"So polite, Jaybird. So very good for me too, using your words."

"Thank you, Sir. I love you, Sir."

Roy's rhythm of kissing, biting, sucking on Jason's thighs falters for a fraction of a moment before he regains his composure.

"I love you too, darlin'. I always have."

Roy runs his hands up and down Jason's thighs, relishing in the softness of the ropes, the hardness of the muscle, and the way Jason seems to melt into the touch.

Some possessive part of Roy that he didn't know existed rears its head and thinks about keeping Jason tied up in Roy's bed forever. About making sure no one else gets to see him like this. About ensuring everyone knows that Jason is his.

He sucks a mark into Jason's thigh, hard, and worries it in with his teeth. Jason hisses sharply, and when Roy looks up, he's biting his lips again.

"Jaybird?"

"Hurts. Sorry, Sir, I-I didn't mean to— you can go back to— Please don't leave."

Jason looks scared, like he truly believes the archer will leave him. Roy won't. He can't.

"Shh, it's okay darlin'. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Roy kisses and licks the already forming bruise in apology. Jason accepts it too easily.

"'S okay, Sir."

It's not, but that's a conversation for when they both have a better presence of mind. For now, Roy will try to make it up in other ways.

When he finally gets his mouth on Jason, the younger man almost screams. It trails off into a litany of "please please please".

He arches his back, trying to push further into Roy's mouth.

The redhead holds Jason's thighs down to the bed, making him get only what Roy will give him.

"Jaybird, relax. I'll give you what you need. I'll take care of you. Promise." What he doesn't say is that he means it both now and for the rest of time if Jason will let him.

Jason relaxes easily. Roy doesn't know if he'll ever get tired of the casual displays of trust that the other gives him. The scourge of Gotham's underworld, the feared al Ghul assassin, tied up and unravelling under Roy with unquestioning obedience. He could probably cum untouched just thinking about it.

He returns his lips to Jason's length, and one of Roy's hands starting to rub at his folds. Jason responds with whimper that makes Roy's still clothed, but already achingly hard, cock leak. It should be illegal to look as good and sound as good as Jason does, but Red Hood is already a crime lord. What's one more thing?

The archer offers gentle suction from where he has Jason in his mouth, as one of his fingers finally breach Jason's cunt. He's so wet that Roy could have started with two, but he wants to take his time. He doesn't know if he'll ever get this again; he's going to savour it.

The moan that Jason lets out when Roy adds a second finger is going to play on repeat when he jerks off for at least the next three years.

"Can…Sir…can I cum? Please, Sir? I've been good, Sir?"

"Yeah, darlin'. You've been very good. Of course you can cum. You don't have to ask, Jaybird, okay?"

"Okay, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

Jason falls apart on Roy's fingers, moaning and clenching around him. Roy fingers him through the orgasm, dragging it out for as long as he can. By the time Jason comes back down from it, Roy's shirt is soaked, and he finally takes it off, throwing it in a haphazard pile that Jason would chastise him for if he knew.

Roy makes him cum on three fingers too, twisting them in his pussy even as Jason is whining and grinding down onto them, half-heartedly pulling on the ropes still tying him to the headboard. He has no misconceptions about the fact that Jason could have slipped out of them or snapped them by now if he was actually trying to escape.

He'd once watched Red Hood snap industrial zip ties, and it was one of the hottest things Roy had ever seen. The situation had ended with Arsenal on his knees in the same warehouse, eating Hood out like he needed it the same way he needed air to breathe, the cooling corpses of the would-be traffickers around them.

Roy's pants are soaked, equally by Jason and his own pre-cum, and he takes them off to throw in the same direction as his shirt. Jason's eyes, already dilated with want, darken impossibly more when he sees Roy's cock, hard and leaking already. Roy strokes himself slowly, and revels in how Jason's muscles tighten in anticipation.

"You gonna fuck me, Sir?" It's meek and hopeful, and Roy would never say no to his Jaybird. Especially not like this.

"You want that, darlin'?" Roy almost doesn't recognize his own voice, rough and strained as it is with his own want and arousal.

"Yes please, Sir."

"So polite, Jaybird. Very good," he says just to watch with delectation as a shiver runs through Jason's entire body.

Ideally, he would drag this out, touching himself until Jason was truly begging to be fucked, but he's already so sensitive that he doesn't think he would last through Jason begging. It takes nearly everything in him not to cum immediately when Jason says "please, Sir", there is not a chance he survives begging.

"Jason?" Roy needs him up at least a little for this conversation, important as it is. "Where are your condoms, Jason?"

"No, Sir." It's not perfect, but it's not the borderline slurring Jason was speaking in earlier. At this point, Roy thinks it's the best he's going to get without bringing Jason up all the way.

"No you don't have any condoms or no you don't want me to use a condom?"

"Neither. Both. Sorry." It's said through gritted teeth, and Roy can tell that Jason is getting stressed by his inability to find the right words, still floating in subspace at least partially, and it's making him distraught. Roy can't have that.

"That's okay, darlin'. You just lay back and I'll take care of you, m'kay?"

"M'kay, Sir." His voice is softer again as he slips back down, and Roy weighs his options.

He knows they're both clean. They get tested at least every two months, and their last results came back less than a week ago. Roy hasn't fucked anyone since he started working with Jason, and he's never seen Jason show any interest in anyone else. There's no chance that Jason isn't on some form of industrial Bat-grade birth control so the likelihood of pregnancy is low.

He keeps a condom in his wallet, and he could use that, but he also remembers what they're doing here, and Roy would be lying if he didn't say that the idea of fucking Jason raw — of getting to feel him clench around his cock without anything in the way — wasn't the best thing he'd thought about in a long time.

"Jaybird?"

"Hm?"

"I need to get something, but I'll be right back, promise. Can you close your eyes and count down from sixty for me?"

"Okay."

Roy rushes out of the room as Jason's soft baritone starts counting the numbers. Sixty… fifty nine…fifty eight…fifty seven…

He's back before Jason reaches 10, condom retrieved, and throws it on the bed.

Jason's cunt is still open from where Roy's fingers stretched him out earlier. His folds are shining with proof of his earlier orgasms, even in the low light.

The redhead can't help himself and leans in for a taste. Jason grinds himself onto Roy's face, and if the archer hadn't already been so pent up, Roy would have made him cum on his tongue too.

Instead, he straightens and slides the tip of his cock back and forth through Jason's lips. It feels better than he thought anything ever could; he can only imagine how it will feel when he finally pushes inside.

"Please, Sir? I, ah, please. More, Sir? Fuck, please, Sir. Fuck me, Sir? I've been good for you, Sir? Good enough to fu—"

He cuts Jason off with a kiss, licking into his open mouth, pliant and willing. Jason practically sobs around his tongue.

"You've been perfect, darlin'," he murmurs reassuringly, forehead pressed to Jason's. "So good for me, sweetheart. I'm gonna fuck you now, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir. I'll be good. Promise."

Roy doesn't doubt that.

Roy is also going to find every person who made Jason like this — who made him unconfident and scared, and so desperate to please — and ruin them.

There have been celebrated examples of master craftsmanship and beauty throughout history. The Mona Lisa. The Great Wall of China. The Sistine Chapel. The Coliseum. Roy has seen — has been to — all of them. Every single one pales in comparison to the sight of Jason Todd, fucked out and slack-jawed when Roy pushes into him. They have nothing on the feeling of his cunt, still loose and wet, clenching around Roy's cock like it belongs inside him.

He slides in slowly, and Jason moans with every inch, high and needy. It does things to Roy he doesn't know if he has words to describe. When he finally bottoms out, his hands grabbing the ropes still around Jason's thighs to ground himself, he can't do anything else. He knows that if he does, he's going to cum before he can properly fuck Jason like he deserves.

Jason shifts, desperate, trying to get Roy to move.

"Shh, Jaybird, just relax. Let me do all the work, okay? I told you I would take care of you, didn't I?"

"Ye— yes, Sir."

"Then be a good boy and let me do that, okay, darlin'?"

"Okay." Jason acquiesces and yields easily under Roy again. It will never stop being breathtaking.

Once he's settled, Roy pulls out halfway intensely slow, and pushes back in at the same pace. A breathy "fuck" makes it past Jason's lips, so Roy does it again. His hands are still twisted in the ropes, the only thing stopping him from getting lost in the sensation of fucking into Jason.

The next drag is longer, Roy pulling back until just the tip is still inside Jason, before pushing back in, still just as slow.

"Jaybird," he says, like a prayer. Roy would never call himself a religious man, but he will worship at the altar of Jason Todd for the rest of time if the other man will let him. "You feel so — fuck — you feel so good. Like you were made for me."

Jason whines, and Roy feels his cunt tighten around him again.

"Is that it, baby? You're all mine? Just for me? You want me to keep you? I would, you know. I'll keep you for as long as you let me." Roy's breaths come in ragged, sharp bursts not at all helped by the way Jason is writhing under him — needy but still relaxed and pliant. A lesser man wouldn't appreciate it like Roy would, like Roy is.

Roy is still thrusting slowly, every muscle in him taut with the effort it is taking to stay in control of his own instincts.

"Sir?" Jason is looking at him, eyes wide and shining with unshed tears.

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"More, Sir? Harder? Wanna —" He trails off, and tries to hide in the pillows.

"Hey, shh, none of that now." Roy frees one of his hands to tilt Jason's face back so he can look at him. "What was that, baby? Just ask, and I'll give it to you."

"Wanna — 's embarrassing."

"Jaybird. Tell me."

"Wanna cum on your cock, Sir. Wanna cum while you're inside me."

Roy's hips stutter to a standstill, and he has to hurriedly grip the base of his cock so he doesn't cum before Jason has had a chance to.

"Of c—" It's a garbled mess of not-quite words, his brain still lacking the blood that keeps finding it's way to his dick, and Roy has to clear his throat and try again. "Of course, baby. I'll give you what you need."

It takes several deep breaths to ground himself enough before he thinks he can start again, and a panicked look has started to creep across Jason's face.

"Nothing to worry about, baby. You just feel so good, and I was worried I wouldn't get to return the favour." He kisses across Jason's face, the worry lines slowly melting away.

Roy starts fucking into Jason in earnest this time — long, hard strokes at a faster pace than before. He won't last very long like this, but fortunately he doesn't need to, at least if the way that Jason's cunt keeps contracting around him is anything to go by. He lets one of his hands wander across Jason's chest, toying with his nipples, drawing even more high-pitched moans from him.

Finally, he lets his hand return to Jason's length and starts jerking him off in time with Roy's thrusts. Jason's back arches off the bed, and his face wet from the tears finally falling.

"'M close, Sir. Gonna cum. Please, Sir, can I cum? Please?"

Roy's voice is husky with arousal when he bends to whisper into Jason's ear.

"Cum for me, darlin'."

Jason does, and Roy fucks him through the aftershocks of it before speeding up and chasing his own orgasm. It doesn't take much to tip him over the edge, and soon his hips are stilling, and he's spilling as deep into Jason's cunt as he physically can. He's never cum so hard in his life.

When he pulls out, some of his release follows, and he's mesmerized by where it's leaking from Jason's pussy, mixed with the other man's.

"Still with me, Jaybird?"

"Mmhm, thank you, Sir. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart, but we're not done yet."

Jason makes a noise, high and questioning, and Roy resists the urge to chuckle darkly.

"Don't tell me you forgot why we're here, darlin'."

Roy retrieves the handgun and the condom from where he stashed both of them, and brings the gun into Jason's line of sight. He catches the moment Jason realizes, gets to watch as his pupils dilate again and his breathing speeds back up.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"I know, baby. That's why we're doing this. So you can make it up to me."

Jason swallows heavily, his throat bobbing with the momentum.

"You do want to make it up to me, don't you?" Roy lets his tone take on something darker, more possessive, and an absolutely delicious shiver works its way through Jason.

"Please let me, Sir."

Roy watches Jason's body language for even a hint of apprehension and pleasantly finds none.

"Since you asked so politely, Jaybird." He sets the gun on Jason's chest, the weight of it, even unloaded, not insignificant. "Hold this for me, okay?"

"Okay, Sir."

He sits perfectly still, the gun stationary, while Roy works on opening the condom.

When he picks the gun back up, he notices Jason's chest has stopped moving.

"Breathe, baby. You did a good job."

Jason's blushes at the praise and his chest expands rapidly when he takes a breath. Roy watches with his peripheral vision to make sure he keeps breathing as he rolls the condom onto the barrel of the gun.

From where he's standing, he has a perfect view — Jason's pussy, leaking a mixture of Roy's and his own cum, red ropes tied across his thighs and chest, the same red still holding Jason's wrists to the headboard. But what does him in is when he looks at Jason's face, lips wet from where he's been licking them, tear tracks down his cheeks, pupils blown so wide there's no blue left in them, and hungry, feral want written all over.

It's potent and heady, and Roy's spent dick twitches in a valiant effort to get hard again.

Roy slides the barrel of the gun through the mess of cum, and starts to nudge it back into Jason's used cunt, still fucked open and wet. It runs back out, and he does it again. Jason whines in an octave Roy has never heard from him before, needy and desperate, his hole trying to suck in the hard metal of the firearm.

"Please, please, Sir. You said — you said I could. You said you would. You'll fuck me with the gun, Sir? You'll let me apologize?"

"Of course, darlin'." Roy examines the gun, now covered in a mixture of cum, and holds it to Jason's lips. "Clean this, baby."

Jason licks down the barrel of the gun, making sure to catch every drop, before he finally takes it into his mouth. His cheeks hollow as he starts to bob up and down it, and Roy gets light headed from how quickly he gets hard. He's not as young as he used to be, and he could have sworn he had a longer refractory period than this. Then again, he would have sworn a lot of things before he met Jason Todd.

He uses his hand that's not holding the gun to line up his cock again, and starts to fuck into him in pace with Jason blowing his own gun. Roy speeds up when Jason does, and his moans reverberate through the gun's metal in such a way that Roy can feel it.

Roy's not going to last long, but he needs to make sure Jason comes like this — fucked and sucking off a handgun. He lets one of his hands drift back to Jason's length, and starts to jerk him off again. The younger man hisses with how overstimulated he is, but still pushes his body closer to Roy's.

Jason cums with Roy's cock pistoning in and out of his cunt, his eyes rolled back in his head, his mouth gaping, and Roy as close to throat fucking him with the gun as he can. The way his pussy tightens makes Roy believe in lust as a deadly sin in a way he never has before, and Roy follows soon after.

"Fuck, Sir. Thank you, Sir," he repeats as Roy pulls out again, removing the gun from his mouth in the same motion.

"One more for me, Jaybird, and then you can be done, okay?"

"Okay, Sir."

Roy brings the gun back to Jason's cunt and teasingly drags it through his folds again. He can tell just by looking that Jason is sensitive, but the way he's moaning dissuades any concerns the redhead would have.

Even fucked out as it is, Jason's pussy still stretches around the gun's barrel, the metal unyielding in ways Roy's cock wasn't. It's positively obscene to look at, and Jason merely whimpers at the intrusion, content to lay there and let Roy do the work. The archer is more than happy to let him.

Roy thrusts the gun in and out of Jason, the latter reduced to little more than moaning and whining and a Fuck if the push was particularly hard. The redhead finds that he doesn't mind, instead filling the quiet with telling his Jaybird how pretty he looks, how well he's taking everything, how lucky Roy is, and how much Jason is loved.

He can tell Jason is close when his cunt starts clenching and unclenching around the barrel, but he never actually cums.

"Cum for me, darlin'."

"I can't," is the whimpered reply.

"Sure you can, baby. Just one more for me, hm? Be a good boy and cum for me?"

"Please, Sir. Want…Will you —"

Roy uses his free hand to caress Jason's face, a tenderness that could seem out of place to the current situation. "What do you need, Jaybird?"

"Kiss me? Please, Sir?" Jason asks it like it's some hardship on Roy's behalf, like it's not a gift from the universe itself that Roy gets to see Jason like this, that Roy gets touch Jason like this.

He kisses Jason softer than before — not as desperate — but with more love and devotion.

"I love you so much, Jaybird," he whispers into Jason's lips after the kiss, and it's to that that Jason cums. Roy hopes it means what he wants it to, but if this is all he gets, then it will be enough. It will have to be enough.

The gun ends up somewhere on the floor, towards the pile of Roy's clothes. He hasn't practiced good gun safety all night, why start now? He has bigger priorities anyways, like getting Jason untied, cleaned up, and into bed properly.

"Darlin', I'm gonna get something to clean you up, okay?"

"Okay."

"Just count down from sixty for me again, and I'll be back before you know it."

Roy starts running a bath for Jason while he grabs water and an electrolyte drink from the kitchen. Jason is dangerously close to counting to zero when he finally makes it back to the bed, and the archer can see the tension that crept into his features.

"Back like I promised, Jaybird." The effect was almost immediate, Jason relaxing once he hears Roy's voice again.

"You're gonna drink something for me, and then you're gonna take a bath, okay?"

"'M'kay."

Roy gives Jason the electrolytes, but still helps him drink it, unsure if the other's muscle coordination is fully functioning again. When it's nearly gone, he finishes the electrolyte bottle and hands Jason the water.

Jason Todd was a small kid, barely filling out the Robin uniform. Jason Todd is not a small man, and Roy has never been more grateful for his archery exercises than in this moment when he uses his hard-won muscles to carry Jason to the tub. He massages the parts of Jason he can reach, and lets the younger man sit in the warm water while he changes the bedsheets and puts on music.

He also carries Jason back to bed, tucking him under the covers before wrapping himself around him. They will need to talk about this — about where they stand, about safe words, about the confessions of love sprinkled in, but those conversations can wait until tomorrow. For now, Roy is perfectly content to fall asleep listening to Jason's heartbeat and steady breathing.

♦♦♦

Jason comes to, feeling warm and taken care of, and with Roy snoring in his ear. Soft music is playing from a speaker he didn't even know they had — one of his favourite sonatas. The night before comes back to him in flashes and he can feel his face heat up at the memory. Roy's body is wrapped almost completely around his, but he should still be able to escape. He needs to get out of here. He can't believe he let that happen; he told Roy he loved him, for fuck's sake.

He needs to call Talia and disappear for a while. She'll make fun of him probably, but she will still help him regardless. She's also one of the few people the he trusts to actually stop Bruce from tracking Jason down when he falls off the face of the earth again.

"I can hear you thinking from here, Jaybird." Roy's voice is rough with sleep, — but the tone is similar — and more memories from yesterday trickle in, unbidden.

"I have to go… deal with a…thing." The excuse is so weak, Jason is hesitant to even call it an excuse.

"Absolutely not." Roy's arms around him tighten.

"Roy…c'mon. Just let me go."

"Sure, darlin'," and Jason tries to suppress how badly he wants to let the nickname mean something, "as soon as you promise me that the minute you're out of my sight you won't disappear forever."

That's not fair. It wouldn't be forever. Just…until Jason can think about Roy and his own damn pistol without blushing down to his chest.

"I…it…it won't be forever. Promise."

"You know, that's on me. Promise me you won't disappear and that we can talk this over like adults without you scurrying off to hide in whichever random cave in the middle of Nepal Talia's gonna send you to."

Jason can't. Jason can't, Roy knows that, and he won't lie to Roy. Not about this. Not when everyone else in Roy's life keeps leaving. Jason will be better than them.

"I…can't."

"Then I'm not letting you go." Jason tries to twist out of the hold. "I'm serious. I meant what I said yesterday, and I still mean it today."

I'll keep you for as long as you let me.

Oh.

Oh.

"I love you, Jaybird. I think I always have, and I'm certain I always will."

"I love you, too." It falls out of his mouth before he can stop it. He doesn't think it matters anymore, not when Roy keeps promising things.

"Then let me love you. Please."

It would be so easy to say yes, to give in. Jason wants to say yes. He says yes.

"Okay." He worries his lip with his teeth, and Roy's hand reaches out — almost as if on instinct — to brush Jason's bottom lip with his thumb.

"You'll let me do the whole thing? Let me take you on a date and buy you flowers and all that?"

Let implies that Jason hasn't wanted that exact thing his entire life.

"Yeah. I'd—I'd like that. I think." He's never actually been on a date. Bruce didn't want him dating when he was Robin for their identities, and when he came back as Red Hood, he had so many other things to worry about. And then there was Roy, and why the fuck would he date anyone who wasn't him.

"I'll treat you so good, Jaybird. I'll sweep you off your feet, you just wait."

"Sure, Roy."

What Jason doesn't say is that Roy doesn't have to because already has. He doesn't say that Roy wouldn't have to do anything because Jason has been smitten with him since he was an underfed teen trying to live up to Dick Grayson's example. He doesn't say that had Roy been anyone else Jason would have left him in that Qurac prison.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes please."

Roy Harper has always been a force of a man. He loves Jason so he says it. He wants to stay with Jason so he stays. He asks to kiss Jason — and Jason said yes — so he does.

Could it have always been this easy?

"C'mon, Jaybird. I can still hear you thinking. Whatever it is can wait for a few more hours."

A glance at the clock reveals that it's barely 7 AM, and they were barely back at the apartment at 11 PM. Who knows when they actually went to bed.

Frankly, it's surprising that Roy is even conscious this early. But it's easy to agree in the safety and comfort of Roy's arms that everything else can wait.

He shifts just enough to press his lips to Roy's.

"I love you," he whispers before settling back into the archer's hold.

He hears the response just before sleep overtakes him again.

"I love you too, darlin'."