Work Text:
July
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
New ep of #NeutralZonePod out now! We’re talking free agency, cup parade shenanigans, and whatever the hell is going on in Columbus
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Anything on the Hollander contract?
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
@emilbeauvier72 a little! not much to say just yet, let the guy celebrate!
shane’s pr manager @holly24
thinking abt parade!shane my sweetie pookie angel drunk as hell off vodka sodas oh i need him so bad
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
lowkey why’s he a sad drunk tho… looking motion sick and lonely at his own cup parade
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
stoppp i truly think that was only like two pictures bc he was shirtless and kissing the conn smythe trophy sloppy style when i saw him but he is soooooo 🥺
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
the shane extension is going to hit so fucking hard why is he edging me rn
The Neutral Zone S04E01: Free Agency Hangover, 00:00
Tyler Kudirka: Hello everyone! Welcome back to The Neutral Zone podcast with NHL Insider Denis Alderman. I’m your host, Tyler Kudirka, and today is July 2nd, 2020, aka, the day after free agency started. How you feelin’, Denis?
Denis Alderman: Well, I’ve been better, Tyler, but we’re having fun here. Early up and late to bed, but it’s just not nearly as long a day as trade deadline day.
Tyler Kudirka: Well, to be fair, this year it felt like the trade deadline lasted about a week.
Denis Alderman: That it did, but hey, it paid off for the Montreal Voyageurs, this year’s Stanley Cup Champions.
Tyler Kudirka: Hell of a parade.
Denis Alderman: Oh, that was a lot of fun to watch. I think it’s safe to say that the NHL has missed Sainte-Catherine Street.
Tyler Kudirka: They know how to throw a party. Did you see Andropov holding one of Pike’s kids upside down by the ankle on that firetruck?
Denis Alderman: [laughing] I did. I can’t imagine Jackie Pike was pleased.
Tyler Kudirka: I thought Shane Hollander was going to have a conniption. What a group of guys.
Denis Alderman: Hard to imagine a better team being put together under this salary cap, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: Well, that does bring us to the first topic of the day: can the Montreal Voyageurs keep this group together long enough to win a fourth Cup in the Hollander era, or will the salary cap finally come for them?
Denis Alderman: Well, look, it’s not going to be simple. Hollander’s up next year, Pike two years after that. Drapeau is probably due for a raise with the way he performed, but I don’t think that’s a front office that wants to put all their money in goaltending.
Tyler Kudirka: I mean, with defense like that, you sort of don’t think they’ll have to.
Denis Alderman: The final was light work for Drapeau, maybe, but Tampa made him work for it in the conference final.
Tyler Kudirka: That they did. Now, we’ve touched on this a little already, but as of yesterday, one Shane Hollander is free to re-sign in Montreal. Any word on that getting done?
Denis Alderman: Not just yet, but I think that whole organization is probably taking a few weeks off to sleep off the hangover at least. I think they'll probably look at it in August. I don’t expect this to be a big story over the upcoming season.
Tyler Kudirka: I’m sure Voyageurs fans are delighted to hear that, or they will be when they get around to sobering up. Moving on to our esteemed losers, where do the Houston Drillers go from here? …
gay jess @pikesbian
shane stressed abt the pike children well yes those are his step kids
↳ margo @shanebortion
you have to stop hollapike polycule posting
August
The Neutral Zone S04E06: Camp Matheson, 32:37
Tyler Kudirka: Thank you to our sponsors! Aaaand we’re back to the show. Okay, Denis, what are you hearing about the Shane Hollander contract?
Denis Alderman: Look, I don't want Voyageurs fans to panic, but I’m not hearing a lot.
Tyler Kudirka: Should we be worried?
Denis Alderman: I don’t think so. There's definitely intent on both sides to make something happen, but no one is feeling urgent about it just yet.
Tyler Kudirka: Is there reluctance from Hollander about signing, or is there disconnect about the contract itself?
Denis Alderman: They’re just a little ways apart on a few things. I'm mostly hearing that the term is the big hang up. And the money is an element, of course. I think Hollander is probably looking at the Rozanov contract from a few years ago and figures he’s worth the same eleven million, if not more. Those two have always been competitive, and with three cups, maybe Hollander’s not as worried about being on a team friendly deal as he is about getting his due. And I think the Voyageurs are willing to spend the money, but they’d rather not commit to the full eight years if it’s at Rozanov’s rate.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. And Hollander wants the longer deal?
Denis Alderman: That’s what I'm hearing. There might also be some hang ups around trade protection. Although, a guy like Hollander with his seniority and success in this league, you kind of think he’s earned that.
Tyler Kudirka: If anyone should retire a Voyageur, it’s Hollander.
Denis Alderman: Exactly. And there’s desire on both sides for that to happen, but the Voyageurs are a smart team with their eye on the future too. Their core is aging, Hollander would be 38 at the end of an eight year deal… There's an awareness that you could get a lot by trading Hollander in, you know, six years when the cup window is closing. Enough to make the team younger and keep them competitive without having to fully rebuild.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. So the Voyageurs are trying to see if they can lessen the commitment.
Denis Alderman: I think they’ll probably be willing to go there, but they’re going to try to keep their options open at this stage in the negotiation. And I suspect Hollander knows he can prove his worth and force their hand through the season.
Tyler Kudirka: Right, play big in a contract year and see what you can push the number to. Any sense of a timeline here?
Denis Alderman: I doubt we’ll see movement before the new year.
Tyler Kudirka: That long? You were saying this summer just a month ago.
Denis Alderman: It could be earlier! But I’m just hearing that they’re a ways apart right now. But both camps are committed to seeing it through.
shane’s pr manager @holly24
if shane doesnt re sign i will kill [remembers sewerslide jokes are bad] troy barrett
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
he would never abandon the voyageurs polycule #trust
↳ margo @shanebortion
i trust shane but i dont trust the fuckass voyageurs front office
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
dont let shane stop u from killing barrett queen 🩷
ilya’s thong @achilles81
if hollander wants roz money he should get hp35’s dick out of his mouth…
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
girl ily but shane just won the conn smythe and the hart????
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
thats none of my business voyageurs hockey isnt real 2 me
John @reddeerpatriot
There’s just no way Hollander is worth 11mil for 8 years
↳ margo @shanebortion
kys???
September
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ahhh september… the month where we ask who will throw up after the voyageurs training camp first day bag skate
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
my money’s on pike
↳ margo @shanebortion
@achilles81 you dont even go here????
gay jess @pikesbian
of course it was comeau
QRT dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ahhh september… the month where we ask who will throw up after the montreal training camp first day bag skate
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
not to give him the benefit of the doubt but i really dont think he’s skated the same since whatever happened to his knee in the second round
shane’s pr manager @holly24
holly’s so smiley in his media avail today ohhh i love freshly post summer shane
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
he loves his cottage 🥺
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
what good dick all summer does to a mfer
October
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Great production in Montreal today as they raise the third cup banner of this core.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Respectfully, three cups in six years is *not* a dynasty…
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
careful they’ll kill you for this
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
@achilles81 it’s only a dynasty if it’s in 5 🤷♂️
gay jess @pikesbian
voyageurs dynasty sound good af when you dont have a bitch in your ear saying they took one year too long
luca haas defender @rozhaas
i love my whimsy team but i wish they’d stop playing like dogshit every night
margo @shanebortion
shane baby its time to make ilya rozanov regret ever being born <3
luca haas defender @rozhaas
wyatt hayes stop shane hollander and u will be reincarnated as a lotus flower
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
everybody shut the fuck up my show is on #MTLvsOTT
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
ROZ BLOWING SHANE A KISS OHHHHH WE’RE SO UP
ilya’s thong @achilles81
we as a society have surpassed the need for tanner dillon
November
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Already two hat tricks on the season for Hollander… The record among active players in a season is four and it’s only November. In a contract year, Hollander is throwing down the gauntlet.
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
my goat my goat my goat
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
shane hattie he's so sexy #wantthat #needthat
gay jess @pikesbian
MARGO GOT ME A HAYDEN FANMAIL FOR MY BIRTHDAY @shanebortion I LOVE YOUUUU
↳ margo @shanebortion
MWAH
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
NHL is monitoring the situation in Toronto. Guardians don’t feel there’s cause to sit Kent, and NHL are letting them take the lead at this point in the investigation.
shane’s pr manager @holly24
dallas kent’s evil ass being called out by [checks notes] troy barrett???
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
i fear we owe him an apology
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Major respect to Troy Barrett for having the guts to call out someone he considered a friend.
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
based hockey media take???
↳ Jon @reddeerpatriot
Woke bullshit is ruining hockey!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Troy Barrett traded to the Ottawa Centaurs for a 2021 3rd and a 2022 4th.
luca haas defender @rozhaas
i’ve only had troy barret for a day and a half but if anything ever happened to him id kill everyone in this room and then myself
December
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander on potential extension: “Look, I can’t say too much, I know there are ongoing conversations. I’m leaving the details of that to my agent. But I love playing in Montreal, I have a lot of loyalty to this team and these guys. I’ve never had a reason to doubt the future of this team.”
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
What a beauty
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
shaney my sweet good boy shaney
kitty @2017hollanov
the centaurs may be ass but at least they have dogs #montrealstandup
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
montreal are good???
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
BUT WHERE IS THE WHIMSY DAN???
margo @shanebortion
ir81 at the gay bar #whatdatmean
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
UMMM
↳ margo @shanebortion
and tb17… at the k***f*****...
Joe Scarpellini ☑️ @InsideScarpellini
Hollander feeling the pressure? Performance diets, sleep habits, and playing to earn what could be the NHL’s most expensive contract. My article for The Athletic: bit.ly/38739473
January
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
On today’s #NeutralZone: Team dogs, Eric Sullivan hat trick, President’s Trophy predictions, and the Hollander contract
The Neutral Zone S04E41: Panic Index, 15:42
Tyler Kudirka: So, where are we on the Hollander contract panic index?
Denis Alderman: [laughing] Very, very low.
Tyler Kudirka: Is there a timeline on this contract? Or, maybe a better question, is there going to be a contract?
Denis Alderman: I have every reason to believe there will be a contract. The timeline is still a bit up in the air - Hollander’s camp have cooled off a little bit. I think they might be having some conversations about the term again.
Tyler Kudirka: That was what held things up in the summer?
Denis Alderman: It was. And I think the Voyageurs have moved a little internally on the trade protection issue. You know, flexibility aside, they understand that Hollander is about as beloved a captain in this league as one can be.
Tyler Kudirka: The three cups help.
Denis Alderman: The three cups help. And he’s involved in the community, his face is everywhere, he’s so broadly adored by everyone he’s played with. He's the kind of guy that you want to usher in the next era, not just trade to create it.
Tyler Kudirka: For sure. Is there any indication why the Hollander camp have backed off?
Denis Alderman: Not that I’ve heard. I don’t think it’s a question of interest. I've been told explicitly that Hollander wants to retire a Voyageur.
Tyler Kudirka: Well— and sorry for interrupting, but off air you did also tell me about a rumour.
Denis Alderman: Yes, okay, yes, are we bringing that to the pod? …I guess we’re here now. I want to be clear that this isn’t from the Hollander camp. But I have heard that the Centaurs have had an eye on him for a long time.
Tyler Kudirka: So have we all. What makes them special?
Denis Alderman: Well, they keep in mind that he’s a home town boy, grew up a Centaurs fan. And obviously, they’ve been out of a playoff spot for, I mean—
Tyler Kudirka: Decades.
Denis Alderman: Exactly. So they’ve had nothing to attract a player like that. And then they signed Rozanov, and I think there are… pieces. I think they’re building something. I think we’ll see them in a playoff spot again in a year or two. I think Rozanov wants another cup.
Tyler Kudirka: He’s fallen behind Hollander there.
Denis Alderman: He has, a bit. But, you know, I wonder if the Centaurs think Rozanov is part of the appeal. Those guys are friends now, they do charity work together.
Tyler Kudirka: We all remember them at the 2017 All-Star Game.
Denis Alderman: We do! We can’t forget it. It's hard to give too much credence to an All-Star Game, but they were pretty magical, and you get the sense that they felt that too. So, we know the Centaurs are interested if Hollander makes it to July.
Tyler Kudirka: Isn’t everyone?
Denis Alderman: Well, of course. But there’s… you know, I think Hollander stays a Voyageur, I do. I think that’s what everyone in Montreal wants. But there’s definitely interest. So I think probably this contract gets done before the playoffs. I don't think the Voyageurs want to risk it. I think the next offer to the Hollander camp will be a lot more aggressive.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
On today’s #NeutralZone: Team dogs, Eric Sullivan hat trick, President’s Trophy predictions, and the Hollander contract
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Hollander to Ottawa? What nonsense
↳ margo @shanebortion
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE HOLLANDER CAMP HAVE BACKED OFF?????
gay jess @pikesbian
flying to nyc to make a wellness check on oomf @shanebortion
↳ margo @shanebortion
IM DOING BAD
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
HERE’S HOW HOLLONOV CAN STILL WIN
QRT: Cens Watch ☑️ @CensWatch
Ottawa Centaurs keeping an eye on the Hollander contract situation (per Denis Alderman on #NeutralZonePod)
kitty @2017hollanov
“we all remember them at the 2017 all star game” WELL YES
shane’s pr manager @holly24
i always knew denis alderman was evil
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
matter of fact roz too can he stop trying to seduce my captain
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
everyone screaming crying abt the neutral zone pod like ald*rman didnt say shane was going to stay with the voyageurs… 🙄
gay jess @pikesbian
CLEAR THE SEARCHES shane hollander loyal shane hollander montreal shane hollander voyageur shane hollander pike polycule
ilya’s thong @achilles81
could i learn to like h*llander if he was a centaur….. maybe
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
To be clear… Don’t think Hollander to Ottawa is likely at all. Just know that there’s interest - and who wouldn’t be interested? #NeutralZonePod
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ik im interested in shane hollander 🤤
luca haas defender @rozhaas
CENTAURS GOOD FUN AND WINNING???
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
friendship ENDED with the 2020 ottawa centaurs the 2021 ottawa centaurs are my new best friends
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
i love u but its one game
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Centaurs team plane makes an emergency landing in Miami. Scary scene, but am told everyone is alright, if a bit shaken.
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Don’t like em but glad they are okay #PraiseGod
gay jess @pikesbian
what he said
QRT Emil @emilbeauvier72
Don’t like em but glad they are okay #PraiseGod
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
@OttawaCentaurs dont make unnecessary journeys don't take risks on treacherous roads and don't swim in the sea!!!!!!
margo @shanebortion
so when i said i hated ir81 i didnt mean i want him to almost DIE
margo @shanebortion
the way the centaurs are good fr now… maybe the fuckass scouts should think abt almost dying
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
i always forget u gaf abt brooklyn
↳ margo @shanebortion
ITS NOT MY FAULT ITS MY BLOODLINE CURSE
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
NHL All Star Game starting on Sports Centre in 5 minutes…
kitty @2017hollanov
the top line of the 2017 asg RIDES AGAIN NOW ‼️
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Hollander and Rozanov really are magic together
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
please dont remind me
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
anyone notice the ring on ilya’s necklace in that media avail yesterday?
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
that’s from me we’re engaged 🩷
February
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Congrats to Troy Barrett on coming out! Cool to have more brave voices like yours in the game 🏳️🌈
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
We don’t need any more poofs playing hockey!!
Scott Hunter ☑️ @scotthunter21
Proud of you buddy 🏳️🌈 @tbarrett
kitty @2017hollanov
troy barrett gay was not on my bingo list
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
why are the centaurs growing on me this year….
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
NO!!! stay strong against their evil influence oomf 😭
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
troy barrett if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
centaurs canonically gay team we’re so up
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
canonically is crazy…
margo @shanebortion
so if tb17 was at the gay bar on purpose… and ir81 was there with him…
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
i literally cant do this today margo
March
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Last move of the deadline is Lars Pettersson to Vancouver for a 2022 third. #NeutralZonePod this evening and then a weekend off!
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
didnt want that soft european on my team anyway
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Any news on the Hollander extension?
shane’s pr manager @holly24
@DenisAlderman if ur next tweet isnt the hollander contract im doing something DRASTIC
luca haas defender @rozhaas
the centaurs not losing someone at the deadline for the first time in like eight years… chat are we so back?
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
we couldve gotten rid of dillon #lowkey 🤐
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
i hate this fucking front office what do u MEAN you looked at comeau on the top pair and decided that was probably fine
↳ margo @shanebortion
no he’s literally been so bad this yr if we’re out early its on him
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
More Hollander extension talk on the pod today… 👀 #NeutralZonePod
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Starting to get seriously concerned…
The Neutral Zone S04E64: Post-Deadline Blues, 58:14
Tyler Kudirka: …Okay, enough of the deadline talk.
Denis Alderman: It’s over!
Tyler Kudirka: It’s done! What the people want to know, Denis—
Denis Alderman: Wait, let me guess.
Tyler Kudirka: You got a guess?
Denis Alderman: I’ve got a guess. My twitter mentions are full of it.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay.
Denis Alderman: It’s… the Hollander contract.
Tyler Kudirka: Got it in one.
Denis Alderman: Look! They’re looking at it. There are conversations. There's interest on both sides. I think with the in-season work done, conversations are going to pick up. The question is just whether they can get it wrapped before the playoffs, because I don't think Hollander wants to be thinking about that once the post-season starts.
Tyler Kudirka: But it gets done?
Denis Alderman: It gets done.
Tyler Kudirka: Man, if Hollander’s feeling the pressure of it being a contract year, it’s sure not showing on the ice.
Denis Alderman: I think Hollander’s always been good at keeping outside noise out of the game. I think that’s a big part of how he’s so consistent - there are just no distractions in his play. When he’s on, he’s on.
Tyler Kudirka: And when he’s off the ice?
Denis Alderman: He's a very private guy. I’ve not heard anything about contract concerns on his end, but you gotta assume he’s thinking about it.
TMZ ☑️ @TMZ
Must See: NHL Stars Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander spotted KISSING in FanMail video taken by teammate bit.ly/4857293
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
UM!!!!!!!!!!!!
kitty @2017hollanov
WHY TF IS EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
LITERALLY THIS IS FAMILY BUSINESS LOOK AWAY??????
ilya’s thong @achilles81
i cant believe fucking SHANE HOLLANDER got his hands on that ass before me
gay jess @pikesbian
youre telling me i couldve gotten hollanov softcore in my birthday fanmail vid
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hearing that Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have been benched for the imminent future. More clarity to come.
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
Disgusting! They should be kicked out of the league!
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Not sure why this prevents them from playing… Voyageurs need Hollander on the first line
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Note on the verbiage: Hearing it being called benching from various sources, but given that it derives from the league, it seems by definition to be a suspension. Expecting the NHL Player’s Association to get involved here.
shane’s pr manager @holly24
why THE FUCK is COMEAU the voyageurs nhlpa rep 😭😭
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
and hayden the alt rep chat are we cooked
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
My heart goes out to the players whose privacy has been breached. If you’ve seen the video, please do not spread it around. I’m sure we’ll hear more soon. Everyone deserves the chance to choose how they share their truth. 🏳️🌈
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
youve always been my goat im so serious… leave denis and run away with me
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
❤️
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Very true… hope they are back playing soon
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
why tf is that old french man based
gay jess @pikesbian
thank god i stopped shayden posting when he had that fourth kid or this would be so fucking embarrassing
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
the phrase voyageurs polycule appears no less than 157 times from your account
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
okay!!!!!! and?????? maybe ilya’s in the polycule!!!!!!
Montréal Voyageurs ☑️ @VoyageursMTL
We are aware of a video circulating involving Shane Hollander. He has been designated non-roster playing status effective immediately. We are in full cooperation with the NHL internal investigation on this matter.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Sounds like the Voyageurs are interpreting this as some kind of prank. Strongly encourage folks to refrain from making rash judgements until the NHL investigation is complete.
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
IF THEY THINK ITS A PRANK THEN WHY TF IS PIKE STILL PLAYING TONIGHT???
Zane Boodram ☑️ @ottawabood
As his NHLPA rep, teammate, alternate captain, and most importantly, friend, I want to express my support of Roz in this difficult time for him and his family.
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
literally ottawa centaur of all time i would die for u zane boodram
Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollander24
Recently, a video was circulated which showed myself and Ilya Rozanov in an intimate moment. The video was sent out without the realisation that we could be seen in the background.
Although having the decision to disclose our relationship made for us isn’t ideal, we would like to announce, officially, that we are in a committed, romantic relationship, and have been for several years. We wish we could have told you in our own way, but we don’t hold this unfortunate accident against Hayden.
We know that our relationship will be difficult for a lot of people to accept and understand. We have never let our personal relationship interfere with our competitiveness on the ice, and we believe our career achievements show that very clearly. We’ve always kept personal and professional separate, and we hope our teams, our fans, and the league can do the same.
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
LOVE YOU HOLLY!!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ONE OF US 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
SOOOO SO PROUD OF YOU LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH MY HOLLANOV
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
love you cap ❤️
↳ margo @shanebortion
for u i will stop wishing ill upon roz…
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
for roz and the fruitiness we share i will stop wishing ill upon you….
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
love u and roz so much ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 thanks for being our captains
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
congrats to u both ❤️💙❤️
margo @shanebortion
sh24 its your turn to show up at the kingfisher #gayboy
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
MARGO
↳ margo @shanebortion
sh24 if he’s your man why’s he at the gay bar with tb17…
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
wait thats some #realshit
ilya’s thong @achilles81
people becoming cens fans like they didnt find evidence of cannibalism in rozanov’s boston home in 2018
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
😭😭
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
im trying to keep the rent down bc why tf are there larries here…. trying to steal our canon rpf valour
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
so many people hollonov posting all of a sudden…. name three times shane went into heat while ilya was on the ice now!!!!
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Remarkable bravery in a really difficult situation from Hollander and Rozanov. Hard to wrap your mind around the quote unquote benching. Hoping to see some accountability from the league.
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
NO ONE WANTS A BUNCH OF HOMOS ON THE TEAM… KICK EM OUT!
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
get that shit out of my mentions man. blocked.
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
wait since when is @neutralzonetyler based….
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
just trying my best to treat people right man
ilya’s thong @achilles81
@neutralzonetyler’s SHE/THEY SHOOTERS ASSEMBLE
↳ margo @shanebortion
HERE
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
🫡🫡
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Should I be scared?
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
@neutralzonetyler nah youre the only motherfucker we respect
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
is it too soon to say that kiss was hot af….
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
autism be damned that boy can french
Cens Watch ☑️ @CensWatch
NHL Insider Chuck Winslow for the Ottawa Citizen: Centaurs exploring legal options to get Rozanov back on the ice after league suspension.
margo @shanebortion
nhl insider? i hardly even know her
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
MARGO TIME AND PLACE
↳ margo @shaneabortion
fine notesapp apology incoming
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Word is that Hollander and Rozanov have been reinstated and will resume practicing with their respective teams tomorrow.
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
Weak league being overrun by the woke mob
April
The Neutral Zone S04E68: Mile High Hat Trick, 08:22
Tyler Kudirka: Alright, Denis.
Denis Alderman: Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: The playoffs are nearly upon us.
Denis Alderman: They are.
Tyler Kudirka: We’ve had… a hell of a month.
Denis Alderman: It's been an interesting one.
Tyler Kudirka: And I have to ask.
Denis Alderman: I don't think you have to.
Tyler Kudirka: I do! The people want to know.
Denis Alderman: It's not good news.
Tyler Kudirka: You don’t even know the question.
Denis Alderman: Don't I?
Tyler Kudirka: …Where do we stand on the Hollander contract?
Denis Alderman: It’s not good news, Tyler. It’s… look, it’s my understanding that the conversation went on pause when the Hollander/Rozanov video situation happened.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. Understandable, there were other things they were addressing.
Denis Alderman: There were other things going on! And that’s how the Hollander camp took it. They welcomed stepping away from the conversation for a while to navigate… the news cycle.
Tyler Kudirka: Right.
Denis Alderman: But the Voyageurs haven’t re-opened the conversation. Hollander’s camp reached out, weren’t re-engaged.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay. Bad sign.
Denis Alderman: I think there’s a sense that all previous negotiations are being considered moot and they’re going to have to start over. The Voyageurs feel like they were misled, you know, that a business risk wasn’t disclosed to them.
Tyler Kudirka: Pretty cold to call it a business risk.
Denis Alderman: Right, and, obviously, you know on this show, we’re very supportive of Hollander and Rozanov’s private lives, but when you’re public figures, it gets a bit complicated.
Tyler Kudirka: …I guess. Let’s go with that.
Denis Alderman: So, I think there’s some curiosity within the organization about what it looks like for the Centaurs and Voyageurs to play a playoff series against each other, in light of this news.
Tyler Kudirka: Hold on, Hollander and Rozanov have played each other in the playoffs before.
Denis Alderman: That's true.
Tyler Kudirka: 2018 in the second round, 2016 first round, 2015 conference final…
Denis Alderman: This is all true.
Tyler Kudirka: And they’ve been together for years, right, I think it’s fair to assume this might not be their first series against each other as partners.
Denis Alderman: Maybe so. Look— obviously, this is untrodden territory from the outside. I think that’s what the Voyageurs are focused on.
Tyler Kudirka: So we're talking summer?
Denis Alderman: We're talking summer.
Tyler Kudirka: Is there any reluctance on either side?
Denis Alderman: I’m going to try to put this delicately here… I think anytime negotiations are rebuffed, that’s indicative of reluctance.
Tyler Kudirka: And it probably creates more.
Denis Alderman: Yep, that’s a part of it.
Tyler Kudirka: So the certainty of the past year—?
Denis Alderman: I think, if fans want to keep Shane Hollander, they should probably be loud about that. It’s— look. He's their captain, he’s been captain there for seven years. He’s won the organization three cups.
Tyler Kudirka: Not to mention Conn Smythes, the Hart, Art Ross, the Rocket, the Lady Byng—
Denis Alderman: Yeah, he’s won the whole trophy cabinet.
Tyler Kudirka: A hard loss.
Denis Alderman: If it happens, definitely.
Tyler Kudirka: Hard to imagine the Voyageurs without him.
Denis Alderman: Absolutely, Tyler, and I’m not saying that’s the direction we’re going in. But things are a lot more uncertain than they were a month ago.
gay jess @pikesbian
denis alderman u are on thin fucking ice and im abt to to start hacking
↳ margo @shanebortion
i’ll be honest canadians do scare me a bit and im not even sure exactly what this means
shane’s pr manager @holly24
VOYAGEURS FRONT OFFICE YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!!!!!
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
tyler neutralzonepod knowing hollanov lore is a crazy reveal
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
he’s literally the only real motherfucker on this app im so serious
Emil @emilbeauvier72
Big mistake if the Voyageurs let Hollander walk over something than has never been a problem before
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
luca haas defender @rozhaas
hollanov playoff series right away is crazy like we just got them and now we have to pit them against each other????
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
girl some of us have been hollanoving for like ten years….
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
hag
shane’s pr manager @holly24
are they flirting over the faceoff dot… dont they know its SERIOUS I COULD DIE
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
It’s a distraction! Teams should kick em off
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
NOT SERIOUS LIKE THAT YOU DUMBASS KYS
ilya’s thong @achilles81
telling reddeerpatriot to khs is a right of passage on hockeytwt ❤️
shane’s pr manager @holly24
my holly looks kind of in his head tonight….
↳ margo @shanebortion
like love my baby im sure its a lot but can he lock in…. lock in for mommy sweetie please…
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Montreal take game one against the Ottawa Centaurs. Hollander and Rozanov both pointless.
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
BROTHER WHO ASKED U
luca haas defender @rozhaas
and you know what its fine bc my cens tried hard and they love each other and thats what matters
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
idk id kind of like to win lowkey…
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
WELL OBVIOUSLY
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Ottawa win the second game. Kind of finding myself rooting for them… such an underdog, such a great story.
margo @shanebortion
oh shane baby mommy not mad at you kitten…..
↳ margo @shanebortion
now gilbert comeau on the other hand…
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Ottawa lead the series 2-1!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Voyageurs win Game 4. Series is knotted up as we move back to Montreal #MTLvsOTT
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
knotted you say….
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Game 5 ends 6-1 for the Voyageurs. Can they close out the series in Ottawa?
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
What a run from this Centaurs team. Tough to see how they come back from this absolute masterclass by the defending champs, but where there’s spunk there’s always a chance.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
SPUNK?????
QRT Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
What a run from this Centaurs team. Tough to see how they come back from this absolute masterclass by the defending champs, but where there’s spunk there’s always a chance.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Ottawa win a do or die contest and we’re going back to Montreal.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Even if the season ends for them in Montreal, this is such a promising showing for this Cens core. But Rozanov doesnt seem like he’s done yet…
gay jess @pikesbian
the cens are about to fuck my playoff bracket so bad arent they…..
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
the puck hasnt even dropped yet
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
but they’re fueled by FRIENDSHIP and WHIMSY and HOMOSEXUALITY and meanwhile we have the corpse of gilbert comeau playing first pair minutes
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
yeah….
ilya’s thong @achilles81
wheres that tweet abt overtime feeling like skydiving on cocaine
↳ margo @shanebortion
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
evergreen
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
OHMYGOD
luca haas defender @rozhaas
THE CENTAURSJDJSJS
shane’s pr manager @holly24
oh my shane…. oh my pathetic little meow meow…. im sorry i couldnt do more for u…
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Tough break for Hollander to lose an edge there. Centaurs get lucky, but you have to be good to be lucky. Exciting to see another series of playoff Rozanov.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
There will be lots of questions about what went wrong here for the Voyageurs; about whether they rose to the occasion with hearts on the line. But the better question might be what went right for the Centaurs?
↳ John @reddeerpatriot
sure he “tripped”… cocksucker couldnt stand to outskate his boytoy
ilya’s thong @achilles81
the concept of ilya being the boytoy
margo @shanebortion
PEOPLE BLAMING SHANE WHEN COMEAU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COVERING ROZ OHHH IM ABT TO START KILLING PEOPLE
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
LITERALLYYYYYY WHERE WAS THE DEFENSE HUH??? WHYS THE FORWARD THE ONLY BITCH BACK CHECKING???
shane’s pr manager @holly24
none of u are real shane understanders my boy is a neurotic border collie he lives to compete he’d rather die than lose on purpose
gay jess @pikesbian
theres just no way rozanov dick is better than a chance to win back to back cups for the second time
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
im willing to test it!
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
not now dan
kitty @2017hollanov
the idea that ilya would even be attracted to someone who let him win… #notmyroz
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
literally like you think the ragebaiter extraordinaire wants it easy? trust that he would not be dating the guy who hes been rivals with for a decade
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
LITERALLYYYYYYYY
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
now tell me why the fujos know puck better than the dudebros
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
the fujo analytical lens is unmatched
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
People asking a lot of questions about a guy losing an edge (common) and not about the defensive breakdown that led to the Rozanov breakaway in the first place (bad)
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Sometimes you have to give up some defensive positioning for offense, but if the guy you’re neglecting to cover is Rozanov, you’re gonna pay for it every time.
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
…and tyler neutralzonepod #honoraryfujo
QRT Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
People asking a lot of questions about a guy losing an edge (common) and not about the defensive breakdown that led to the Rozanov breakaway in the first place (bad)
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
What an end for the Voyageurs… Such a storied group. If this is the last chapter, they played some damn good hockey, Shane Hollander most of all.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
But boy am I excited to watch the Centaurs in the second round. You’re not supposed to be a fan when you’re a part of the media, but Roz has had a special place in my heart since I watched my boyhood team pick him first overall twelve years ago. What a beauty. What a privilege it is to watch him play.
Joe Scarpellini ☑️ @InsideScarpellini
The ending of the #MTLvsOTT series dares to ask the question: What would you do for someone you loved? Would you leave the team that drafted you? Would you give up the chance to win a cup? My article for The Athletic: bit.ly/387t739
kitty @2017hollanov
i cant believe we’ve gone from these clowns insisting the kiss was a prank to saying they’re too in love to not throw a game GODDD i hate it here
QRT: Joe Scarpellini ☑️ @InsideScarpellini
The ending of the #MTLvsOTT series dares to ask the question: What would you do for someone you loved? Would you give up the team that drafted you? Would you give up the chance to win a cup? My article for the athletic: bit.ly/387t739
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Todays #NeutralZonePod: Recapping the First Round, the Wilson suspension, and The Trip, PLUS Round 2 predictions/previews
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
in tyler neutralzonepod we trust
kitty @2017hollanov
denis my expectations for u were low but u have succeeded them today…. stay on guard…
luca haas defender @rozhaas
tyler neutralzonepod picking the cens to beat the admirals he’s so me
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Voyageurs locker room cleanout today. Lots of conversations about loyalty and trust... there’s a sense that this was lost somewhere along the way. Unspoken, seems like the Captain is at odds with the room.
TSN ☑️ @TSN
Gilbert Comeau: “You know, I just think you can’t succeed in the playoffs if you don’t trust the guys around you. And trust has to be earned.”
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
this is crazy bc since when has comeau ever been trustworthy on ice ffs
margo @shanebortion
my family: heaven gained another angel 😭👼💔
me in hell: WHERE ARE THE MONTREAL VOYAGEURS
shane’s pr manager @holly24
it sucks so bad to watch a team u love turn their back on their CAPTAIN. HE MADE YOU SOMETHING HE WON YOU THREE CUPS HE SAVED YOU!!! YOU WERE NOTHING!!! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM????
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
ohhhh im sick im so sick
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
every one of these fuckers is on my shit list till shane re-approves them
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Under appreciated Hollander quote from today: “I think anyone who knows me knows I’m a loyal guy. My family, my friends, my partner... I’ve given a lot for my team. On the ice, my team always comes first. I think my play shows that.”
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
What’s genuinely so crazy is that I’ve never heard a bad word about Hollander. A little quiet, maybe, but guys love him. Top notch teammate, captain, player, friend. And suddenly this switch up in front of the media. Hockey is a team game. Maybe someone should remind the Voyageurs of that.
gay jess @pikesbian
idk how im gonna watch the voyageurs knowing they did this shit to shane….
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
u dont have to watch
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
nono i do. i emotionally imprinted on hayden pike when he threw me a puck at age fifteen theres no going back. i just might also watch the cens…
ilya’s thong @achilles81
round 2: the oldest man alive vs a team of chipper whimsy lovers
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
thats mr. gay to you put some respect on his name
margo @shanebortion
ottawa centaurs kill the admirals and u will be reincarnated as a lotus flower
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
damn u switched it up so fast…
↳ margo @shanebortion
DONT CONFUSE THIS FOR ME LIKING THE CENTAURS. THIS IS ABT MY BLOOD FEUD WITH THE ADMIRALS
May
luca haas defender @rozhaas
rip my cens… i love them so much they’re gonna play so much more good hockey next season!!!!!
shane’s pr manager @holly24
god i know most of those assholes on the voyageurs deserved to lose in the first round but im a little pissed they didnt have a chance at the old ass admirals after the centaurs squandered it
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
i gotta be honest we weren’t doing fuck or shit with comeau on the first pair this yr
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
no and you raise a good point
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Today’s #NeutralZonePod: Wrapping up the 2nd Round, concussion concerns, Scott Hunter’s 50th career playoff goal, and… the Hollander Contract
↳ Emil @emilbeauvier72
Not feeling good about this one…
The Neutral Zone S04E77: Hunt50r, 33:27
Tyler Kudirka: …I think it’s fair to say that there’s a lot the Centaurs have left to give.
Denis Alderman: They sure do, Tyler. That's a team that’s really going somewhere. You know, sometimes a series ends in four or five games and it still feels like it was tight, and this was one of those. A very bright future for these Centaurs.
Tyler Kudirka: For sure. And you gotta wonder, well. I can think of something that might jump start that future.
Denis Alderman: Oh?
Tyler Kudirka: You alluded to this possibility a bit in January, and I think it’s even more relevant now.
Denis Alderman: Tyler…
Tyler Kudirka: It's been a while since we talked about the Shane Hollander contract.
Denis Alderman: It has.
Tyler Kudirka: We talked about the trip at the end of the first round, we agreed it was accidental.
Denis Alderman: He’s just such a competitor, Tyler. And as you astutely pointed out, on this pod and several times on Twitter, they’ve played each other in the playoffs before.
Tyler Kudirka: He’s beaten Rozanov in the playoffs before.
Denis Alderman: That he has. And it was hard to imagine anyone stopping Rozanov this year. I know the Centaurs just lost, and every guy on that team bought in 100%. But Rozanov losing a five game series with a positive plus/minus is just…
Tyler Kudirka: Historic. ...So what’s the situation with the Hollander contract, Denis?
Denis Alderman: [sighs] Tyler, look. I think you know this, I know this, I think everybody knows this. Hollander’s future with the Voyageurs is in jeopardy, and not, I would argue, through his own actions.
Tyler Kudirka: No.
Denis Alderman: There’s a few parts to this.
Tyler Kudirka: The fans, for one.
Denis Alderman: Yeah, I think the fan reaction is tough. Obviously, we know a lot of Voyageurs fans have been very supportive. Shane Hollander has been beloved in that city and beyond for a long time.
Tyler Kudirka: He's given a lot.
Denis Alderman: He has. But you wonder if a very loud part of the fanbase turning on him makes him ask questions about whether he’s wanted.
Tyler Kudirka: For sure.
Denis Alderman: And I think it doesn’t help… Look, this is off the record, hearsay, etcetera. But I've heard anecdotes that support this story from a few people. It has been suggested to me that there’s dissatisfaction in Hollander’s camp with how… kissgate played out on the Voyageurs end.
Tyler Kudirka: …I have heard this too.
Denis Alderman: There you go. For our listeners, I think there was a point to be made about the benching.
Tyler Kudirka: Yep.
Denis Alderman: The ownership group in Ottawa is obviously less influential than Montreal; it’s a smaller market, the business relationship isn’t as long, they just hold less sway with the league. There wasn’t a lot they could do on Rozanov’s behalf, aside from being very supportive, which is what I understand happened. Whereas the Voyageurs, you know, that’s an Original Six team. That’s the third most highly valued franchise in this league, that’s a massive market, enormous revenue stream. And an old, established ownership group. That's a family who are very well respected both in and outside of hockey circles.
Denis Alderman: I have heard—not even specifically from the Hollander camp, but other agents around the league—that they felt the benching was an overstep on the league’s part. This was not a disciplinary matter, no rules were broken, and the Voyageurs’ ownership group could have protested. The fact that they didn’t suggests that they agreed with the move, which obviously, the Hollander camp didn’t like.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. So, there are fractures in the Voyageurs/Hollander relationship. The fanbase, the benching, We’ve all heard the rumours about division in the locker room.
Denis Alderman: Yes. I think, if Hollander stays, it’s going to require a lot of work at all levels of the organization to support his leadership.
Tyler Kudirka: And on the other hand, we look at the Centaurs. An up and coming team, with so much potential. It's clear there’s organizational support for their players, it’s a team going somewhere—Hollander would really jump start that second line—
Denis Alderman: Going from missing the playoffs every year to a team with Hollander on their second line would be such change in fortunes for the Centaurs.
Tyler Kudirka: No, literally, the two most iconic players of the 2010s united for the first time on the Centaurs? I don’t see how that’s not a cup favourite for at least five years. What a fumble from Montreal if they arm a divisional opponent like that.
Denis Alderman: Well, and that’s just it. I don't think Hollander really considers that move unless the relationship has completely fallen apart.
Tyler Kudirka: Yep. Loyal guy.
Denis Alderman: And you have to remember, Hollander grew up a Cens fan, but he also grew up a Voyageurs fan. This is a guy who has tried to make this work.
Tyler Kudirka: It’s Rozanov who moved, not Hollander.
Denis Alderman: Well, we don’t know that that was because of their relationship.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. But like. Not crazy to assume.
Denis Alderman: I'm not part of this speculation.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure. But that raises the other point!
Denis Alderman: Well, yes, of course, the biggest impetus for Hollander to think about Ottawa is, of course, Rozanov.
Tyler Kudirka: Hard not to consider.
Denis Alderman: I imagine that’s a pretty big part of the equation, yes.
Tyler Kudirka: So do the Voyageur and Hollander camps give it one last go? Or have we passed the point of no return?
Denis Alderman: I'd never say never. But I would not be feeling confident if I was a Voyageurs fan.
Tyler Kudirka: And I'd be feeling pretty good if I was a Cens fan.
Denis Alderman: You know, you’re not wrong.
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
shane…to ottawa…i worked on this story for a year...and he just...he tweeted it out.
kitty @2017hollanov
tyler neutralzonepod u r oomf 2 me
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
meanwhile he called roz a dirty slut for leaving boston…
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
@achilles81 oh and you didn’t?
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
@twinkshane well….
margo @shanebortion
it’s one thing to know the voyageurs front office are evil and it’s another thing for denis alderman of all people to say so
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
u know ur rotted when denis alderman’s got shit to say
luca haas defender @rozhaas
hollander on the second line…. oh i used to pray for times like these
June
The Neutral Zone S04E84: Vaughan is On, 41:08
Denis Alderman: …It’s a tight series, Tyler. We’ll see what Game Seven brings tomorrow night. What's up next, Tyler?
Tyler Kudirka: Welllll, you know I have big thoughts about the upcoming free agency market.
Denis Alderman: It's sure looking like a bigger deal than we thought it would be in March.
Tyler Kudirka: The number one free agent of this summer, Shane Hollander. Who'd have seen that coming?
Denis Alderman: Really, truly, I don't think anybody did. Not even him.
Tyler Kudirka: I guess we should revisit that for a moment: Is he really going to free agency, Denis? Does Montreal take one last swing?
Denis Alderman: I think that free agency is looking pretty likely. I think there is some regret in the Voyageurs front office, I think they are putting together one last offer… But I'd be really surprised if Hollander’s agent even gives them the time of day, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: That ship has sailed?
Denis Alderman: I think the last chance to repair the relationship was probably when Hollander’s camp reached out in April, or maybe for a brief window right after the first round ended.
Tyler Kudirka: They were pretty quiet when everyone else was pretty loud.
Denis Alderman: Yep. And, you know, a player like Hollander doesn’t have to put up with that.
Tyler Kudirka: He really doesn’t. Obviously no one should have to, but it’s really pretty absurd how much they have underestimated his ability to walk away.
Denis Alderman: Sure, and he hasn’t done it yet. But it’s— I mean. I think just about every team in the league is looking at July 1st and asking themselves how they can put together a competitive offer for that guy.
Tyler Kudirka: Realistically, does anyone but Ottawa have a shot?
Denis Alderman: [laughing] Look, I can't speak for Hollander and Rozanov. They've not said much about their relationship, which is obviously their right. It seems likely they want to be close, which limits the options.
Tyler Kudirka: Toronto, Detroit, Buffalo. Arguably Boston.
Denis Alderman: Wouldn’t that be something.
Tyler Kudirka: Seeing Hollander in a Bears jersey would be just so wrong.
Denis Alderman: Hard to imagine, for sure. And not very likely, I think.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. So, the question becomes, how does Ottawa afford Shane Hollander?
Denis Alderman: Can they do it? …Yeah, you know, I think they’ll find a way. Obviously, it’s not an easy fit. Rozanov’s eleven mil, Barrett's eight, Hayes and Boodram. They’re gonna have to pay Haas an arm and a leg in a couple years, the way that kid is playing.
Tyler Kudirka: Yep. But the cap goes up.
Denis Alderman: Every year. And, you know, I don't think there’s ever been a team more likely to get a hometown discount.
Tyler Kudirka: How much money does Hollander leave on the table, do you think?
Denis Alderman: Well, we’re going to do our best to find out.
margo @shanebortion
if shane becomes a bear i will kill every montreal voyageur ever
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
damn what did larry robinson do
↳ margo @shanebortion
not enough jess… he didnt do enough…
ilya’s thong @achilles81
“how does ottawa afford shane hollander” well first of all we kill tanner dillon
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals starts now on Sports Centre. Who will etch their names in history?
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
WHOGAF ABT GAME SEVEN HOLLANOV ARE ENGAGED???????
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
IM GOING TO THROW UP I LOVE THEMMMMM
ilya’s thong @achilles81
We are going to keep playing hockey We are going to win more cups… shane hollander are u ready to become one of my elite employees 😈
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ilya rozanov millennial pause i said im sure
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Congratulations to Colorado on their first cup since 2001. Bogrov carried that team on his back… a well deserved Conn Smythe.
↳ joey 🌈 @21hunts
scott hunter is younger and more beautiful
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
@21hunts YOUNG???????
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Rozanov and Hollander finish 4th and 5th in Hart voting respectively. This is the first time since 2012 that neither has been named a finalist.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Also the first time in their careers that neither has been named a finalist for any major award.
↳shane’s pr manager @holly24
shane hollander 2012 lady byng u will always b famous
kitty @2017hollanov
girl fuck the hockey writers yall going to hell
July
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Well folks, it’s official: Hollander signs in Ottawa, 8.1 mil x 7 years, full no move for all seven years.
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
SHANE HOLLANDER KIND SHANE HOLLANDER HUMBLE SHANE HOLLANDER FRUGAL SHANE HOLLANDER GENEROUS
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Who could have seen this coming?
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
and hes funny too *twirls hair*
kitty @2017hollanov
WHAT DO YOU MEEEAANNN HE SIGNED FOR 8.1……. AND ROZ WEARS 81…… WHAT IF I DIE!!!!!!
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
hollanov numerology girlies stay winning
gay jess @pikesbian
its actually insane how much money he left on the table holly could be making like 12 mil easy
shane’s pr manager @holly24
the idea…that montreal….couldve had holly for less than what fucking old ass scott hunter is making….
↳ margo @shanebortion
well scott hunter has a stay at home smoothie barista to support
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
youre saying shane is the trophy wife here
↳ margo @shanebortion
im saying he’s a sugar baby
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
beloved he was not staying in montreal for 15 mil let alone EIGHT
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Today on the #NeutralZonePod: Summer vibes, free agency shenanigans, will Buffalo trade the first overall pick, and one last Hollander contract conversation
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
well now im scared
The Neutral Zone S05E01: Who Could Have Guessed, 05:23
Denis Alderman: Well Tyler, it’s official. Shane Hollander is an Ottawa Centaur.
Tyler Kudirka: He sure is. That's a move I don't think anyone saw coming, and then everyone saw coming. And no one is happier about it than Ilya Rozanov.
Denis Alderman: [laughing] You might be right about that, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: Now, we’re not going to dwell on this too long. I think this felt like kind of a foregone conclusion to a lot of people.
Denis Alderman: Arguably too foregone.
Tyler Kudirka: …Elaborate on that.
Denis Alderman: Look — Obviously, we’re very happy for everyone involved, we wish Hollander and Rozanov nothing but the best. But I have heard rumblings that Montreal are talking about calling tampering on the whole affair.
Tyler Kudirka: Oh come on, you were saying it yourself this whole year that Hollander resigning was inevitable until they burned the relationship.
Denis Alderman: Look, I don't believe it myself. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the league looks at it.
Tyler Kudirka: What is there even to look at? Hayden Pike is a Centaurs sleeper agent? Brad from Twitter had money on the line?
Denis Alderman: It’s not quite so convoluted. But we know—like I said in January—that Ottawa have had their eyes on Hollander for a long time. Not necessarily because of Rozanov, but the hometown boy angle. Hollander and Rozanov have the same agent. It wouldn't be hard for the GM to mention an interest in Hollander off hand while on the line about Rozanov. There's also, you know, that maybe Hollander’s camp dragged their feet a little early in the season on purpose.
Tyler Kudirka: Not re-signing with a team isn’t tampering.
Denis Alderman: It’s not. Look, the evidence is pretty circumstantial.
Tyler Kudirka: Guys pick teams because they have buddies there all the time. Just because Hollander and Rozanov are in a romantic relationship doesn’t make it different.
Denis Alderman: It’s— it’s a bit different, but I get what you mean.
Tyler Kudirka: There’s not— None of this is evidence. This is, like, things that could have happened. It's not like the deal dropped the second free agency was open.
Denis Alderman: No. No, I don't think there was a deal done. I do think Hollander’s camp expected an offer.
Tyler Kudirka: Expected— Hollander’s camp would have been delusional not to have expected an offer! Hollander’s agent could have called up any team in the league and said hey, there’s interest, and gotten an offer. If Ottawa's GM hadn't made an offer, he would have been tarred and feathered on Elgin Street.
Denis Alderman: Well—
Tyler Kudirka: Hung in Byward Market! Drawn and quartered on Parliament Hill!
Denis Alderman: Okay, we get the point.
Tyler Kudirka: Drowned in the Rideau Canal!
Denis Alderman: Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: Sorry. I'm right, though. You know that.
Denis Alderman: I— yes. Look, I'm not accusing anyone of wrong doing. But there’s some bitterness in the Voyageurs organization about how Hollander left, and they’re looking at options.
Tyler Kudirka: The Voyageurs are pretty much the last people who should be feeling wronged in the way this went down.
Denis Alderman: Don’t shoot the messenger, okay. This is a conversation that’s happening, I don't know that anything substantial comes of it.
Tyler Kudirka: …Montreal Voyageurs, I’m watching you. I will sic Hollanov twitter on you, don’t think I won’t.
Denis Alderman: Your twitter following seems like a genuine nightmare to me, Tyler, but I'm glad it’s working for you.
Tyler Kudirka: I have she/they shooters.
Denis Alderman: I simply don’t know what that means.
Tyler Kudirka: Well, watch yourself.
Denis Alderman: …Again, I don't think there’s tampering here. I think the Voyageurs are looking at the end of their cup window and realising they didn’t need to crash the car this early.
Tyler Kudirka: And meanwhile the Centaurs are at the top of everyone’s list of cup favorites.
Denis Alderman: It’s hard to argue against Hollander and Rozanov’s track records.
Tyler Kudirka: Denis. Denis, don’t do this.
Denis Alderman: But there’s a question to ask about what their play looks like together. If it's a distraction to play with your partner.
Tyler Kudirka: I need you to look at women’s sports and say that to me again.
Denis Alderman: I'm not expressing doubt! I'm just telling you, these are the questions people are asking.
Tyler Kudirka: Homophobes. These are the questions homophobes are asking.
Denis Alderman: I— okay. It’s, no, you’re right, it’s a line of questioning with some ulterior motives. The play is going to have to speak for itself, but that’s not something either Hollander or Rozanov have ever struggled with.
Tyler Kudirka: Obviously. …well. Okay. Sorry folks, I thought the Hollander conversation was going to be short and sweet, but clearly some people are still looking for drama. I personally wish Hollander and Rozanov all the best in Ottawa.
Denis Alderman: We both do. All of us here at The Neutral Zone do.
Tyler Kudirka: [sighs] Okay, well, next up, we have to talk about Vancouver…
margo @shanebortion
TYLER KUDIRKA I HAVE HEARD YOUR MESSAGE GIVE ME A TIME AND PLACE AND WE WILL OVERTHROW ROGER CROWELL 🫡
ilya’s thong @achilles81
tyler neutralzonepod genuinely the only media bitch i’ve ever liked or trusted so i will be riding to war for him #shetheyshooters
kitty @2017hollanov
how can we get tyler neutralzonepod without denis alderman im so serious
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
THISSSS bc idgaf abt alderman’s alleged insider bullshit he spent all yr saying holly was gonna resign he doesnt know SHIT! i want my friend tyler!!!
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
now in fairness. how could alderman have known abt the hollanov of it all
↳ margo @shanebortion
idk hayden pike did and the only insider hes ever been is when he was knocking up his wife a dozen times
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
MARGO!!!!
↳ margo @shanebortion
fineee ill write another notesapp apology
ilya’s thong @achilles81
@shanebortion lets run away together
↳ margo @shanebortion
🏃♀️🏃♀️
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
maybe achilles81 and shanebortion were the real enemies to lovers all along
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
two households both alike in indignity
shane’s pr manager @holly24
the voyageurs are run by the biggest fucking losers in the world it’s truly only bc of shane that they’ve ever won shit
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hearing that the tampering conversations in Montreal have ended. Voyageurs were asked if they had more than circumstantial evidence, clearly the answer was No.
↳ shane’s pr manager @holly24
GOOD
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
shane earring in the gay ear. it came to me in a dream
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
why would he do that
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
idk roz would probably find it sexy
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
@shanehollander24 @ilyarozanov for your consideration
kitty @2017hollanov
STREETS ARE SAYING HOLLANOV WEDDING ON HAYDEN PIKES CLOSE FRIENDS STORY
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
oh so now he knows how to keep videos private
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
HOLLANOV WEDDING RUMOURS TRUE ITS ON SVETLANA VETROVA’S INSTAGRAM
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
oh my god i forgot abt her… ilya boston era deepcut
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
she’s private on insta now but i followed her ages ago omg
shane’s pr manager @holly24
my baby boy is getting married ohhhhhhh i wuv himmm
gay jess @pikesbian
that video of hollanov dancing to diamonds on h*rris dr*ver’s insta… that better not have been their first dance song
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
im afraid they are tasteless hockey players
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
heartbreaking to learn that even being gay cant overcome that
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
couldve been worse it couldve been morgan wallen
↳ kitty @2017hollanov
ilya would die first
shane’s pr manager @holly24
HOLLANOV KISS ON ROSE LANDRYS INSTAGRAM
↳ luca haas defender @rozhaas
“congrats to my favorite gay boyfriend” i fear she’s the funniest woman alive
August
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
WHY TF ARE HOLLANOV GRINDING ON EACH OTHER IN THIS IBIZA CLUB IM ON VACATION