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The pain was something Robert had grown accustomed to rather quickly. Being Mecha Man for so long had definitely helped with that in a way. Being injured so often meant he had developed an almost ridiculous pain tolerance.
The explosion combined with the coma had left his body in shambles so that pain tolerance came in handy. Most of it he could deal with. Achey joints and little twinges of pain from wounds that never really healed properly was something he barely registered most days, even on the bad days his many pain medications and muscle relaxers helped so it wasn't a big deal.
But there was one thing Robert didn't think he'd ever get used to. His knee. The right one in particular. The torture and fight with shroud had done more damage than he initially thought, according to the doctors he had been in bad shape, between the adrenaline and over all joy of finally being back he hadn't even noticed. Robert wished it wasn't true when he turned to look at the black aluminum cane leaning against his desk. Apparently the damage to his right knee was permanent. Robert had been disabled.
Disabled. He hated the word more and more every time he heard it, especially when it was directed at him. At first he didn't care about it at all. He could still be Mecha Man as long as he had the suit. He didn't care that he could barely stand without that stupid metal stick, he refused to be stopped. The doctor had said with enough PT he would be strong enough to only need it on bad days, except Robert couldn't afford the pay for PT, not with his salary still under review, so he was stuck with the stupid stick for the time being.
The stares were the worst. People were always staring, not at him, but at his cane. Something about it had somehow made him less in the eyes of so many. Pity was what he got from the majority of people.
He hated the way others would stare not at him but at his fucking cane as they held doors open for him or rushed to get out of his way in narrow spaces. He could tell they weren't being kind to him but rather because of him, because of how it would look if they didn't accommodate the ‘cripple’.
He almost prefers the people who sneered in disgust at his dis- his problem. Huffing and complaining under their breath because he was in the way or too slow. At least they were honest.
He tried desperately for the first few days to ignore it. He refused to use the cane to move around despite how badly he needed it, opting instead to lean against walls or counters for support. Inevitably he needed to go somewhere that didn't have convenient places to lean on. Robert would make it maybe three shaky steps before something would pop and the joint of his right knee suddenly became jello, incapable of supporting his weight.
Every time he collapsed his frustration would rise like bile in his throat. It continued to build until one day he couldn't take it anymore. He broke down in his sad apartment sitting on his couch and staring at that stupid fucking stick.
The next morning he picked up his cane and took his first tentative steps. An audible clack from the mobility aid sounded with each step he took. He hated how much easier it was to walk.
Of course it still wasn't easy, every step took twice as much effort, it was exhausting, not to mention it left his left hand indisposed. It was something he never thought of until he started using the cane. He needed to lean on the damn thing just to stand most of the time so that only left the right hand free.
Most things became an awkward balancing act that almost always required a ridiculous amount of back and forth. Making coffee for example. The mugs were kept above the coffee pot so that part was simple enough, but while most people would simply hold the mug with one hand and open the fridge and pour their creamer with the other Robert was forced to leave his cup on the counter, walk to the other side of the room to retrieve the creamer from the fridge, walk back to his coffee and pour said creamer then walk back to the fridge to put it away before FINALLY walking back to his coffee and retrieving it.
The amount of effort he put into such a simple task left him drained just thinking about it.
Bending down was the worst, it was unsteady at best and impossible at worst. He'd lean heavily on his cane as he slowly bent his knees and lowered himself to the ground, only to lose his balance and fall down. Then came the humiliating process of standing back up. Bracing both hands on the handle of the cane and pulling with all his might to force his body into standing and hoping his knee didn't buckle half way up.
People watched Everytime, arms out and breath held just waiting for him to fall and rushing to his side if he did. It made him feel helpless.
Surprisingly, heroes were the worst when he fell. He wasn't sure if it was reflex or a lack of understanding just how badly he needed the autonomy but on the rare location he fell at work there was always some super powered asshole grabbing him under the armpits and hoisting him back up before he could even try for himself.
He remembered how his cane fell to the floor one day when he rolled his chair back to stand up. Some guy saw from across the room and sprinted to his cubicle to pick it up for him, snatching it from the ground just as he leaned over to do so himself. He thanked them but in his mind he was cursing him for making such a spectacle of something so simple.
The only people he felt normal with was surprisingly, his team. They didn't ignore the cane but they didn't treat him like he was fragile because of it. Flambae even jokes about kicking it from time to time just to see Robert ‘fall on his stupid bitch face’. It made the man laugh every time.
Once invisigal and prism even plotted to steal it and replace it with their own blinged out version. A gaudy thing covered in glitter and rindstones with an eight ball as the handle. At first Robert didn't acknowledge the prank, just to fuck with them but eventually he had to ask for his own back. The replacement they so graciously provided was heavy and awkward to use. It wasn't even the right height to lean on properly. Still knowing there pranks weren't gonna stop just because of his fucked up knee made something warm fill his chest and helped to push down the rising bile of frustration that never truly went away.
If he had to get used to the cane he was at least glad his team was there for him in their own shitty way.
Robert paused his musings as he felt a presence behind him and noticed his cane shift just slightly from the corner of his eyes. He smiled briefly before schooling his features into a stern frown.
“Visi, if your still trying to put those ‘for rectal use only’ stickers on my cane your gonna have to do better than that”
Just as he suspected invisigal flickered into view with a scowl on her face and a roll of the aforementioned stickers in hand.
“How the hell do you always know?!”