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Bluestar had scarcely walked beyond ThunderClan territory in her life, only on expeditions to the Moonstone, Gatherings or the extremely rare visit to another Clan's camp. This forest was her home, had been and always would be. She knew the sights and smells and feel of this place like she knew her own paws.
And yet, foggy memories of a future life told her she had not been here in countless seasons and her spirit embraced this place with fond melancholy. Her claws dug possessively into the earth as she looked up at the Owl Tree, once just a place of inconvenience but now, she wished that the owl would come out to greet her.
She had to pause to take a few deep breaths and blink away the overwhelming emotions, grateful that she was on a lonesome hunting patrol far from prying eyes. Only half a moon had passed since that fateful visit from Firestar's ghost, but it was already starting to take its toll. Bluestar's senior warriors were starting to openly worry about her absentmindedness and frequent solo expeditions but she needed the space to clear her head.
It was hardly an easy thing to come to terms with the horrible future that awaited so many of her dear friends and she felt the pressure now more than ever as the battle for Sunningrocks drew ever closer. This was the start of it all - Redtail and Oakheart's deaths, Firepaw's initiation into the Clan and Tigerclaw's plot to seize her position as ThunderClan's leader.
Making her way back to camp just after sunhigh carrying two mice, the camp was bustling and peaceful, though tempered by the recent loss of Sunningrocks to RiverClan. Bluestar had allowed the original border skirmish to pass as it had in Firestar's memory and Oakheart and his warriors had made quick work of the ThunderClan patrol.
It had been incredibly difficult to sit back in her den and watch the patrol leave that day, knowing they would suffer a terrible loss. She couldn't lie and say she wasn't tempted to tip the scales in ThunderClan's favour at the first opportunity, but she was an experienced leader and knew the danger of rushing into battle flippantly.
Of course, that knowledge didn't soften the pang of guilt she felt as she passed by the medicine cat den now. Poor Mousefur lay curled up recovering from her injuries from the battle, a grim reminder of the price of Bluestar's inaction and what was at stake. She nodded at Spottedleaf but didn't pause to converse as she continued on to drop the two mice on the freshkill pile.
Tigerclaw caught her eye quickly and bounded up to her with a stern expression on his face. He had been growing louder by the day insisting they launch an attack on RiverClan in retaliation, still seething from the shameful retreat. Half a moon ago, she would've welcomed his counsel and praised his loyalty but now, she barely managed to withhold a hiss at his approach.
"Bluestar, the dawn patrol reports seeing RiverClan cats lounging on Sunningrocks and taunting our warriors. We can't just do nothing. Every Clan will turn on us if they think we're weak. Let me at least mark Sunningrocks now, to show RiverClan we're not giving our territory up."
In another life, Bluestar would approve his request blindly and watch the small patrol leave the den at dawn the next day. Now, she let the ambitious warrior wait as she made a show of deliberation. Changing too much too early would render her future knowledge useless, but sitting back and changing nothing risked potentially far greater consequences.
Decision made, she nodded curtly, "You're right that we can't sit by and do nothing."
His whiskers twitched in approval and Bluestar looked at him closely, wondering if he was already planning Redtail's murder after the battle. She could see no deception, which only made her fur crawl more. Perhaps it had merely been a thing of convenience in the heat of the moment, seizing the opportunity of being caught alone with a dead Oakheart right there to take the fall.
Well, almost alone.
She glanced over at the apprentice den where Ravenpaw crouched, half listening to Greypaw passionately re-enacting some tale while he watched her and Tigerclaw with careful curiosity. Upon noticing her gaze, the little apprentice squeaked and looked sharply away. Ravenpaw was one of an ever-growing list of things that Bluestar had to somehow fix, though no less important.
"Thank you for speaking up, Tigerclaw. I'll announce the patrol now."
She climbed up to Highrock, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey meet here beneath Highrock!"
With her clanmates looking up to her for guidance, Bluestar took a deep breath and steeled her nerves. It was time to change things for the better and this was the first step toward making that future a reality. She knew what she had to do.
"ThunderClan has suffered a great defeat by RiverClan, something we must now rectify. At dawn, I will lead a patrol to Sunningrocks to mark it as ours. Redtail, Runningwind and Dustpaw, you will come on the patrol."
Bluestar saw Tigerclaw stiffen from his position sitting at the front of the crowd, his slightly smug expression blanching in shock as control of the situation was snatched from his grasp. She resisted narrowing her eyes in vindication at the reaction.
"We will not go looking for a fight," she went on as her clanmates started to whisper in excitement. "But ThunderClan will not stand complacent and lose good hunting territory. Rest well tonight, tomorrow we reclaim Sunningrocks. Clan dismissed."
Jumping back down from Highrock, Tigerclaw was quick to follow her.
"Bluestar, wait! Let me join you. After the last border skirmish, I know how they fight," he argued, the fur along his spine starting to puff up.
"You misunderstand my strategy," she replied coolly. "This isn't a slight against your skills. Like I said, we're not looking for a battle - should we run into trouble, I need Redtail by my side for diplomacy as my deputy."
Tigerclaw's eyes flashed at the word.
"And if things do turn ugly, I need you here to protect the Clan from any RiverClan assault."
She knew that an attack on ThunderClan's camp would be extremely unlikely. A small border skirmish would hardly prompt a direct camp invasion. Tigerclaw seemed to agree with that assessment if his masked grimace was any indication, but a leader's word was law and he couldn't dismiss the threat she'd identified, however unlikely.
"The Clan's safety is our priority over any hunting grounds and as the fiercest of our warriors, I can only trust its protection to you. Is this faith misplaced?"
For a moment, they stood still in a stalemate but Bluestar knew she had him cornered. The ego stroking coupled with the open challenge gave him no choice but to finally lower his head in acquiescence, "Of course not, Bluestar. I'm honoured to protect our Clan in your absence."
She flicked her tail in a clear dismissal. As he turned away, she could see him reconciling the disappointment at being excluded from the patrol with the pride of being recognised for his fighting prowess to protect the camp.
The twinge of guilt at her obvious and sudden prejudice against him was snuffed out as she saw flashes of his vicious claws through Firestar's memories. Tigerclaw hadn't committed those attrocities yet, of course, but without her intervention, he would have gladly murdered Redtail in cold blood tomorrow and that was something she would never forget. She still hadn't decided the best way to deal with him long-term. She would gladly sink her fangs into his throat right now, but could a cat truly be tried for crimes he had not yet committed? She would lose the Clan's favour for such an unprovoked act against a seemingly trusted clanmate and her justification taken for mad ramblings.
No, she couldn't afford to rush things and squander Firestar's gift. For now, Tigerclaw was an asset to her cause, a seemingly loyal senior warrior of ThunderClan. In the future, she would keep her plans close and see how things played out.
~
Pinned beneath a spitting Stonefur while her clanmates engaged the RiverClan patrol in combat, Bluestar could only dazedly comprehend how this mission had gone so wrong. While the patrol split up to begin marking the teritory, a brief strained conversation between Redtail and Oakheart had quickly devolved into chaos before she had the chance to intervene. Firestar's early memories of his twoleg nest were of no help here, she had only her own wits to rely on.
"ThunderClan has no claim here! We beat you before and we'll beat you now!" Stonefur yowled, tail lashing in fury.
Bluestar shoved at his underbelly with her hind paws hard enough to pitch the heavy warrior's balance and push him away. With any other cat, she would have raked at their sensitive underbelly with unsheathed claws, but not with Stonefur. Never with Stonefur.
The RiverClan warrior blinked in confusion as he emerged from the encounter completely unscathed, his pupils blown wide with adrenalin.
"ThunderClan and RiverClan have fought over Sunningrocks for as long as both clans have existed," Bluestar growled as they circled one another. "ThunderClan will not be the first to back down."
"And neither will RiverClan," Stonefur replied gravely.
Bluestar gave herself a moment to look over her kit and feel proud of the warrior he had become before their momentary pause was over. Stonefur leapt at her once again but this time she dodged before he could pin her. Her blood sang with the thrill of the fight as they whirled around one another, trading blows as easily as they would share tongues with clanmates.
Out of the corner of her eye, Bluestar could see Runningwind and Mistyfoot locked in a tussle. Mistyfoot didn't share her brother's raw power, but she had inherited Bluestar's own speed and strategic prowess. Meanwhile, Dustpaw fought valiantly against a silver RiverClan apprentice - Silverpaw, Firestar's memories supplied. The two balls of fluff tussled somewhat awkwardly while the more seasoned warriors traded intense, targeted blows.
As her gaze moved upstream, Bluestar caught sight of Redtail and Oakheart facing off against one another and she froze, her vision flashing violently.
~
The newly named Firepaw watched Tigerclaw drag Redtail's body into camp like freshkill and dump it in the centre of the clearing.
He didn't know anything about Redtail but he felt sorrow all the same as he watched Dustpaw cry into his fallen mentor's fur. Firepaw's recent victory against Longtail now seemed far less exhilarating and momentous in the face of this sobering scene.
The stoic Tigerclaw began recounting the story of Redtail's demise at the RiverClan deputy's claws. He was the largest cat Firepaw had ever seen and he couldn't help but focus on how the senior warrior's muzzle and paws were still caked in blood. He was committed to this life, to joining ThunderClan, but what bloody world had he just stepped into?
Just as he was starting to feel out of place at the edge of the clearing, a tortoiseshell she-cat crouched down beside him and smiled warmly even as her eyes were clouded with grief.
"Hello, I'm Spottedleaf—"
~
Bluestar was brought back to the present violently as Stonefur's claws raked across her right shoulder, digging deep. Her lapse in attention had provided him with the perfect opening. She yowled and stumbled back from the blow while her mind still reeled from the vision. Fortunately for her, Stonefur froze instead of pushing his advantage, no doubt shocked at having landed the perfect attack on an experienced leader.
Bluestar ignored him, her entire body shaking lightly as she processed the memory that assaulted her mind. Firestar had not been at this battle, but this was the catalyst for everything and that truth sang in her bones, weighed down by whispered prophecy. Redtail might have been saved from Tigerclaw's grasp but another life still hung in the balance.
"Oakheart ..." she murmured in horror, body still frozen rigid. Her own warm blood dripped down her right shoulder but she hardly felt the sting as she watched the two deputies trading blows, wandering closer and closer to a tall rockpile.
Stonefur's eyes flicked suspiciously over his shoulder to look at his father, "What about him?"
Bluestar didn't have time to answer as her body finally caught up to her mind. She took off, shouldering past Stonefur and racing past ThunderClan and RiverClan cats alike as blood pounded in her ears to the beat of her frantic heart.
She leapt up onto the final rock ledge, "Oakheart, move!"
The RiverClan deputy paused mid-spat with Redtail at her warning, the snarl on his muzzle morphing into surprise. The distraction allowed Redtail to catch him off-guard and slam his back into the rock pile. The rocks overhead shifted, sending small pebbles tumbling down toward him and yet Oakheart remained morbidly unaware that he only had a few breaths left.
All the foreknowledge in the world and she was going to be too late.
But Firestar hadn't given her this chance just for Bluestar to turn back at the first sign of adversity. Fate would listen to her voice. The heavens would bow to her command. Oakheart would live.
There was no time to choose differently but even if there was, Bluestar knew deep down that this was the only right course of action. She crashed into the RiverClan deputy at a dead sprint, sending him flying out of the way of the tumbling rocks and then—
~
This wasn't the first time that Bluestar had lost a life.
She opened her eyes to a familiar clearing bathed in silver moonlight. The forest was quiet with a slight breeze rustling through the trees overhead. In some ways, this place felt similar to ThunderClan's territory but it was distinctly otherworldly and peaceful in a way that the real world could never be. Bluestar knew where she was. This was StarClan's hunting grounds, nestled in the heart of Silverpelt.
A ghostly apparition of herself sat before her, more corporeal than the last time she'd been here now that another of her lives had been merged into it. The figure didn't move or otherwise acknowledge her presence but beside it, there was a familiar kit waiting to greet her.
"I wondered who would be waiting for me this time," Bluestar said with a soft smile.
She had lost six lives before this one. With each death, a brief meeting with her lost loved ones like Snowfur, Thrushpelt, Moonflower and even the strange Goosefeather had been comforting. They all felt trivial now in the face of seeing her own kit stood before her, her fluffy pelt filled with stardust.
Mosskit seemed to shine with warm energy and life, a far cry from the cold little kit Bluestar had let slip through her paws all those moons ago. Her eyes were bright and her expression fond, if somewhat sombre. A leader's lost life ceremony was hardly the occasion for joyful family reunions, after all.
"Hello, Bluestar," Mosskit's high pitched and squeaky kit voice sounded the same as she remembered. Her vocabulary and intonation, however, was nothing like it had been in life. She had the body of a kit but the mind of a grown warrior and held herself as such. This was the cruel paradox of StarClan, where innocent kits were locked in tiny bodies but continued to grow in every other way.
"There were many StarClan cats who wished to greet you tonight, Bluestar."
As though to prove her point, tall grasses at the edge of the clearing swayed and twigs snapped underneath paws as StarClan warriors circled from afar. Bluestar caught flashes of pelts and accusatory eyes through the undergrowth.
Shaking off the unease at their stares, Bluestar looked down at her kit and smiled weakly, "I can only imagine, StarClan must have opinions ... I'm glad it's you."
Mosskit's schooled expression finally split in a cheeky grin, "Me too."
Feeling the ache of her crushed body fade away from her incorporeal soul, Bluestar sat up and stretched out her stiff joints, "Does StarClan disapprove of my choices?"
"You walk a different path than StarClan foresaw and the future is now murkier than ever. We cannot interfere but you must watch your step. Cats with good intentions have oft caused the very destruction they sought to remedy, with even more dire outcomes."
Bluestar frowned, unsure if she should take the words as a threat or warning. StarClan was surely more than displeased at Firestar's intervention and she had braced herself for a fiercer argument when she next crossed paths with her semi-omniscient ancestors. Admittedly, she hadn't intended for that to be so soon.
"The mind is a fragile thing," Mosskit continued, batting at a grass frond absently - an echo of careless kit behaviour that belied her serious tone. "Your head is like a pond suddenly filled to the brim and about to overflow. StarClan cannot protect you should you lose yourself to prophecy and altered destiny."
She turned a grave star-laden gaze onto Bluestar, who swallowed the unease and nodded in acknowledgement. It was a risk, especially given her original descent into madness before her death, but her own life couldn't be held above the countless others that relied on her success. For now, she felt like herself and should that start to change, she would deal with the consequences as they came.
The kit then sighed, looking down between her paws at something far below. When Bluestar followed her gaze, she saw only soft undergrowth planting and solid earth bathed in dappled moonlight. There was a slight tug at her chest in that direction, however - a tether to her still-mending body.
She could hear the quiet echoes of Redtail and Oakheart's voices, as though through water. When she really focused on the tether, she coudl just about make out their words as they seemed to be bickering but reluctantly cooperating to dig through the rocky debris and pull her lifeless body out. She hoped they succeeded in time - it would be an awfully painful return to the world of the living while still trapped beneath a rockslide.
Mosskit drew closer, "I'm admittedly sad that I didn't get to meet my father as expected, but to speak with you is a blessing. Thank you for saving him."
Bluestar nuzzled her forever kit sadly, her eyes prickling as she curled her body around her baby. Mosskit didn't smell like milk and ThunderClan anymore. She didn't smell like anything at all.
"Of course."
She allowed herself one final long moment to just exist in Mosskit's company, a broken purr rumbling in her chest. Mosskit returned it with a little lick on her nose. That phantom pull in her chest began to grow sooner than Bluestar had hoped, though no amount of time with her baby would ever be enough, would it?
She reluctantly stood up, sparing a glance at the ghostly form of herself that stared back at her unblinkingly. There was an unspoken promise in the aparition's eyes that she couldn't quite make out and didn't know if she wanted to.
"Live well, Bluestar. Say hi to Oakheart for me? Till next time we meet," Mosskit smiled warmly.
With a final nod, Bluestar turned to follow the tether to her body and fell into darkness.
~
She awoke coughing and spluttering as her heart started to beat once again and her body was instantly taken with a deep-set ache. StarClan might have brought her back and healed her mortal injuries, but getting crushed by a rockslide was nothing to scoff at. Having learnt from her previous lost lives, Bluestar focused on drawing each breath into her lungs with intent, reminding them how to function once again.
“—star!” Two blurry cats stood over her, their voices still foggy to Bluestar's ears.
The yowling chaos of the battle seemed to have disappeared and been replaced by an eery quiet. While she couldn't see them, she could feel many eyes watching her in awe. A leader's lost life was a rarity for most warriors to witness, after all. Even the powerful river seemed to drop to a bubbling whisper in honour of the occasion, though that might've just been Bluestar's confused senses.
"Bluestar?" Redtail's concerned face came into focus as he crouched down closer, looking over her condition with a worried eye.
She hummed in acknowledgement, focused on simply breathing for the time being.
"Is she alright? She seems to be taking a while to come back."
It was another voice, one that Bluestar recognised with a soul-deep familiarity and trust. Oakheart. Her dear Oakheart—
Redtail pulled back, gaze hardening as he hissed at the other deputy, "You try shaking off a rockslide, mouse-brain, see how you feel!"
Oakheart growled and pinned his ears but took a half step back in appeasement.
Bluestar raised her head, finally able to shake off some of her disorientation and meet the stares of cats from both clans, the battle momentarily forgotten. Determined to regain some control of the situation in the wake of her death, she shakily forced herself to her paws, ignoring the spike of pain that rattled her freshly mended bones.
"I address cats of both clans when I say this battle for territory has gone too far. Let us return to our camps without further bloodshed."
"You order our retreat?" Beetlenose exclaimed, "Never! This is rightfully RiverClan territory—"
Oakheart stepped up beside her and it felt right. He commanded authority as he yowled at the assembled cats, "I would have perished under that rockslide had Bluestar not sacrificed one of her lives in my stead. In honour of that life debt, I order RiverClan to retreat!"
Turning to face her, he dipped his head deep in a bow, "Thank you, Bluestar. A leader is only obligated to use their lives in service of their own clan. You honour me by wasting one on me."
Ah, right.
The limitations of the rigid clan system stared Bluestar in the face. Here stood her former mate, expressing absolute shock and reverence that she would even consider saving him just because they hailed from different sides of a river.
She had to remind herself that borders meant much more here even as her mind swam with Firestar's burning care for all the clans beyond just his own. He'd had friends and kin in every clan and she felt that warmth glow in her chest, weaving into her own fondness for Oakheart and her RiverClan kits.
"It wasn't a waste," she found herself saying gently.
Oakheart's bright amber eyes sparked with something unrecognisable and she mourned that she could no longer read their meaning. Rising from his bow, the spell of stillness that had taken over Sunningrocks was finally broken. The RiverClan cats followed their deputy's orders reluctantly but without open protest, slinking back into the river.
Oakheart went to follow them with a curt nod to Redtail. The gesture wasn't returned but Redtail stepped aside to allow him to pass peacefully. Bluestar watched her mate bump heads with Mistyfoot and Stonefur before crossing the river together. Both young cats were visible rattled as they no doubt processed just how close they had come to losing their father.
Bluestar only allowed herself to lower her head in exhaustion once all the RiverClan cats had disappeared into the reeds on the far riverbank. Redtail clocked the shift with a meaningful look but spared her the nagging, having known her long enough to recognise he wouldn't get a straight answer right now.
Instead, he turned to address their patrol, "You all fought valiantly, well done. If everyone is fit enough, we'll start heading back to camp."
Redtail and Runningwind only had superficial scratches, of which Bluestar was glad. Dustpaw held his right hindleg tenderly with what looked like a nasty bite wound. So long as Spottedleaf treated it in time to prevent infection, then he would hopefully make a full recovery.
Bluestar's own wounds had been mostly healed by StarClan, leaving only her non-life-threatening shoulder scratch from Stonefur behind. Upon reminding herself of the injury, she felt a deep twinge of pain that made her wince. It would definitely leave a scar, but she could make it back to camp.
After affirming as such when prompted by Redtail, the patrol set off on a slow journey back to camp. They were battered and bruised but victorious and most importantly, everyone had survived the battle this time.
Taking the rear position to watch her injured clanmates' backs, Bluestar was content to be alone with her thoughts. Redtail, however, had other plans as he slowed his pace to match hers.
"How did you know those rocks were going to fall? Oakheart and I were right there and didn't see anything," he spoke softly, so that the others wouldn't overhear.
Runningwind took the hint and loudly distracted Dustpaw with an exaggerated hunting story that had the apprentice squawking in open disbelief.
She hesitated to answer, unsure how to tell her deputy and trusted friend something satisfactory without appearing completely mad. Redtail had learnt to put up with a lot of her mannerisms and quirks, but blindly accepting her story of future memories, alternate timelines and defying StarClan's plans would truly test the bounds of their friendship.
"Was it StarClan?" he prompted hesitantly.
"... In a way," she settled on. "Not like a medicine cat's visions, but yes."
She turned her head to avoid seeing his reaction to the admission. A half-truth for now, perhaps forever. Bluestar would not burden others with her knowledge yet. Not like this. She needed a plan first.
"StarClan works in strange ways but I never imagined the day they would guide you directly to your death. I have half a mind to pay a visit to the Moonstone and share a few ... unsavoury words with our ancestors." Redtail's eyes sparkled with mirth and his tail curled up over his back animatedly.
Bluestar huffed, rolling her eyes at his antics, "Of course, let me know how that goes for you."
He chuckled before sobering up and giving her a hard look, "Whatever happened, you should know by now that you don't have to shoulder the burden alone. Don't think I haven't noticed you sneaking out of camp to hunt alone all the time. Maybe I could join you on your next venture?"
"I might not have satisfying answers for you yet, but that sounds nice," Bluestar acquiesced with a nod.
Her steadfast deputy dipped his head and quickened his pace to leave her to her musings. As she watched his titular fluffy red tail wave in front of her, she was struck deeply once again with the knowledge of his near demise.
"Redtail!" she called after him suddenly, to which he glanced back in silent question, "... I don't say it often enough, but I'm lucky to have you by my side. Thank you."
He scoffed and kept trotting ahead but Bluestar could see the edge of a warm smile on his face, "Don't let the others hear you say that, Bluestar. My ego is large enough!"
With Firestar's gift, she had changed reality and though the exhaustion from the battle and her lost life saw her body protest every step, that knowledge fed her spirit with boundless energy. Because of her, two cats destined for death were still breathing and two Clans got to keep the wise counsel of their current deputies. She might be one life closer to joining StarClan for good, but Bluestar felt more alive now than she had in a very long time.
She squinted up at the sun's position through the trees. She would guess that Rusty was taking his first steps into the ThunderClan camp right about now with Whitestorm, Lionheart and Greypaw. She hoped they would make it back in time to see his battle with Longtail and looked forward to getting the chance to hear Redtail's opinion on the fiery little apprentice.
She looked forward to hearing many more of Redtail's opinions now, ones that Firestar had never gotten to know.