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Phos had a plan.
The loss of his legs had shown him that he wasn’t cut out to have a gem job. He was too fragile, too clumsy and although the new legs made him fast, it would take replacing almost all of him to get him to where he could be actually useful.
He was just as all the gems said, useless, selfish and in the way.
Gems were immortal. There was no way to kill them. However, without sunlight, he would sleep deeply, and he wouldn’t be able to wake up on his own. All he had to do was find someplace without sunlight where he couldn’t be found. Then he would sleep forever.
The cave was one of the darkest places Phos had ever been in. It was located on an island just a little way out to sea. His legs had helped phenomenally with swimming, and even with the heavy wooden box, he had reached it quickly. None of the other gems would be able to follow him fast enough to catch up, and once he was in, they wouldn’t know where to look. He wanted to make sure, though, therefore, the box.
Once he was inside, he would likely never see the light of day again. However, he needed to hurry. Midsummer had just passed, and although close tabs weren’t kept on him in the summer, they were in the winter when everyone checked in to sleep.
Phos was always the first one to sleep and the last one to wake. So, he would be the first one expected to be there when winter arrived. He had to do this before another gem found him. That would make all of his hard work moot.
He figured that this would be a breeze. He would just lie down and close his eyes, and that would be that. He’d never wake, they’d never find him, and the others wouldn’t ever have to worry about him again. Everything that he felt would no longer matter. All of the terrible emotions, the anxiety, worry and guilt that churned inside him would be gone.
It was a little like he had imagined death to be. Quiet, calm, the end to life.
Phos took a few deep breaths of fresh air. He looked up at the sun and smiled a little. He wouldn’t be targeted during any more Lunarian attacks. He’d never have to worry about them again. His unique color would just disappear. It really was for the best.
Phos watched as the sun started to sink below the horizon, and he knew in his heart that it was time.
“It’ll be easy, just like hibernation. You’ll close your eyes, and then it will all be dark and quiet and over. You won’t get in the way. You won’t make people upset or angry. You won’t get anyone else captured and taken to the moon. You’ll just be gone. No one will probably even notice. After a while, they’ll forget that Phosphophyllite was even a gem.”
Phos nodded to himself just once and walked into the cave. Without the sunlight illuminating part of it, it was even darker than he had imagined, and it unnerved him. That didn’t matter, though. He wasn’t doing this for himself, he was doing it for others, and if he only had enough courage to do one thing, it had to be this.
Phos fumbled through the dark until he found the heavy wooden box. Tripping several times on the way. He fingered the latch and swung open the top of the lid. Already, sleep was pulling at him. Phos looked back to where the opening of the cave had been, and for a moment, he wished someone would find him. Even though that wasn’t likely. That someone would stop this and take him back home to his room. No one did, though, and he felt silly there, waiting for someone who’d never come. It was time.
Phos climbed in, closed the lid, and shut his eyes.
When Antarcticite joined Sensei, there was a troubled look on his face. Immediately Antarc was worried. The other gems should’ve been in bed sleeping safely. They weren’t under attack from the Lunarians, and there was no other obvious reason for his distress.
“Sensei,” he said hesitantly.
Sensei turned toward Antarc, his face the picture of grief. He wrapped his arms around Antarc and held him close.
“What happened, Sensei?” What can I do to fix it, was Antarc’s real thought. He had heard of dozens of gems being taken to the moon, losing so many members of his family, some he hadn’t even known. Had another gem been lost? He had heard of the whispers of losing one of the Amethysts, but never before had losing a gem hit Sensei so hard.
“Phosphophyllite is gone.”
Antarc’s heart dropped. Phos was their youngest gem, the last to have come from the cliff whole. Antarc loved to touch him while he slept. They were almost exactly the same hardness, so he didn’t have to worry about breaking himself.
“Taken to the moon?” Antarc’s words were soft because he was almost too scared to really ask. Phos was that lovely color they favored.
“We’re not sure. One day he was here with us, and the next, he was gone. There were no Lunarians spotted the day that he disappeared. However, no one has seen him since. We are unsure of where else he could or would have gone. We held out hope that he was just hiding, but with the start of winter, we have no other options but to think he has been lost.”
Antarc winced a little remembering the unkind words the other gems seemed to bestow on their youngest. He knew well how difficult it was to find a job that someone fragile could do. He himself had spent more than a hundred years trying to figure out what he could do that wouldn’t shatter him.
“Could he have left?”
Sensei considered it for a moment. “Perhaps. There was an incident you might have heard about. Amethyst 84 was taken to the moon. The Amethysts were training Phos how to fight. They were showing off when the Lunarians attacked. I meant to speak with him about the matter, but he disappeared before I had the chance.”
“Sensei?”
Antarc leaped sideways and stared at Diamond. She gave Antarc a wave.
“Oh, yes, I meant to tell you, Antarcticite, you’ll have company this winter. A few of the gems are staying awake to try and find Phosphophyllite.”
Antarc inspected her and nodded without saying anything. If they really loved him, they all should’ve stayed up to search for him.
“Well, let’s get going. There’s a lot of work to be done either way.”
30 years later
There were more gems now than ever before, but he still spent the winters mostly in solitude. Although there were several gems that would occasionally spend a little time with him those times were few and far between. Almost all of the gems still wanted to just sleep the time away as they had always done.
After the first few winters with Phos missing, most of the gems had decided that he must have been taken to the moon. Therefore, they had stopped staying up to search for him. The companionship that Antarc had known for the first time in his life ended.
Once again Antarc was alone.
Sensei Kongo had struck a deal, which most of the gems had no idea about. Even the gems that had been taken to the moon were in the dark about what was happening between him and the Lunarians. However, Sensei had confided in him that he had been built to pray away the souls of the Lunarians. However, his discovery of their actions had led him to believe they didn’t deserve it.
Now, it was their only option to get the taken gems back. Any Lunarian with a gem piece could submit their name to the list. In return for any pieces of gems they had, Sensei would pray their soul away. So far, a dozen gems had been returned whole. Including Amethyst 84.
But no Phos.
The Lunarians claimed they were still searching for whoever had ended up with his pieces. However, Antarc believed wholeheartedly that Phos hadn’t been taken to the moon. Whatever had happened to him was separate from the Lunarians. He himself had continued to look for Phos, even when it was starting to become apparent he was gone and not coming back.
Antarc was alone that day. He had been breaking the ice flows and walking along the expanse of frozen ocean. There was a sudden darkening of the sky, and he could see the hail starting to form.
Panic rose in him. It was early in the winter, and he hadn’t reached his highest hardness yet. The hail could shatter him, and no one would ever even find him. He was too far away to make it back home, and he cursed himself for going so far.
There was a small cave up ahead and Antarc made a run for it. Leaping over obstacles and fleeing into the darkness. He took a deep breath as he noticed where he was. He was safe under the overhang, but Antarc was still afraid of a piece of hail hitting him. There was only one option, go deeper inside.
Antarc was accustomed to little light but even this had him yawning. It was so painfully dark inside. He walked slowly, his eyes not able to see anything.
Which was why he tripped over the box.
Confusion filled Antarc. It was wooden? If it was ancient the wood would’ve rotted away years ago. There was some degradation but not much. However, he didn’t think that any of the gems had ever been this far out.
He could hear the hail was starting to slow down and soon he would be able to return. There wasn’t much point in opening the box when he didn’t have any light to look inside. He’d return here, after the work was done tomorrow, with something to light the way. Then he’d have a look inside.
Finding the cave again hadn’t been difficult but it had been time consuming. It was farther out than Antarc usually went, and it was a long slow trek over the dangerous ice flows. However, when he arrived, carrying a couple of lanterns, it was then easy to enter the cave and walk back to the box.
It was wood, as he had suspected, and looked to be in moderately good shape. When he inspected it carefully with the lantern he discovered that it was definitely of gem make. This couldn’t have been placed here more than fifty years before.
Perhaps Sensei had hidden something from them. He did tend to play things very closely to the chest. He had kept his own reason for existing a secret for thousands of years. Antarc was certain that he kept other things from them as well.
Well, Antarc just had to know what was inside. If it was a secret, then he should get to know about it. He was Sensei’s greatest confidant. There should be absolutely no secrets from him. Resolved to figuring out what was hidden away, Antarc opened the box.
As he held the lantern up the light was transmuted into the light peppermint color of the gem, sleeping inside.
Antarc could barely breathe as he inspected the sleeping gem. It was most definitely Phos. He was the only of his kind to ever survive the fall from the cliff. One of a kind, just like Antarc.
Antarc turned him gently. He had to be certain.
Phos had a crack on his back for as long as Antarc had known him. Antarc had spent years pondering on why it was there when he was repaired so often. It wasn’t large. Barely the width of his finger. But it ran the length of his back. Antarc doubted Phos even knew it was there. If it was really Phos, he’d be cracked down the back.
There it was.
Antarc couldn’t resist. Then again, he never had been able to. He carefully broke a finger, easily explained away, and pressed the unsealed gem face into Phos’ crack.
He shuddered and moaned, but didn’t wake. Antarc smiled.
He had been doing this nearly the entire time Phos was alive. Each time he was forced to put a sheet over someone sleepwalking, Antarc had paid a visit to Phos. He was delightfully responsive even in a dead sleep.
Antarc could tell that the sun had begun to go down and knew that he needed to get going. Phos and the trunk were both too heavy for him to retrieve on his own, so Antarc left him.
Antarc closed the box so Phos would protected and set one of the lamps on top. He turned it off so it wouldn’t run down and headed back toward the mouth of the cave. He could return with Sensei tomorrow.
But by the next day, Antarc had rethought telling Sensei.
Phos had been the only gem favored the way Antarc was. He had been Sensei’s summer friend while Antarc was his winter friend. Since he had disappeared, Antarc had become the sole favorite, a position he enjoyed immensely.
Part of why Antarc wanted to find Phos was his own actions toward him. The somnophilia wasn’t triggered by any of the other sleeping gems. Just the pretty peppermint gem. He had looked for Phos hoping to get that aspect of his life back. But if he knew where Phos was….
He could keep being Sensei’s only favorite and have Phos still in his life. However, he’d need to move him. This was too far out to visit regularly and he wanted to see Phos regularly. Wanted to see him every day in the wintertime. He’d have to find someplace close enough to visit that wouldn’t be found easily.
There was someplace that had to work perfectly and Antarc was going to find it. Besides, clearly Phos or someone else had done this for a reason, who was Antarc to tell them he thought they were wrong? Who was he to try and draw him from the peace he had sought?