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He couldn’t take it anymore.
His best friend left, his parents are gone, he has no achievements.
Ivan was a nobody in society, and worthless being, a waste of space. After the argument with Andrew, Ivan trailed up to the rooftop, wanting to be rid of the guilt and heaviness in his chest. He stood there, the cold wind picking up, almost nudging him to take the final step, making a name for himself.
“IVAN!”
A familiar voice cried out, making Ivan flinch. The pair of scuffed up shoes tapped over, rushing as someone yanked Ivan away from the edge, shoving him hard into the cement floor of the rooftop.
”WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
Andrew yelled, beyond frustrated.
“Ivan- you. God, the hell is wrong with you. Was this your BIG plan?? Fucking- kill yourself?! to what? make me feel BAD?”
Ivan remained on the floor, his mind blank, his body limp. What was happening? He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, didn’t dare to speak while Andrew went on his monologue. This was the most he’s even heard out of Andrew, minus the fight. At some point, Ivan looked up, eventually coming back to reality as he saw Andrew’s eyes were tear filled, his voice cracking. Something snapped in Ivan’s chest, making him hesitate, think of what he should do.
”You’re a fucking idiot- my god.. seriously.. i don’t care about that fight. i just wanted you to own up- to take accountability for once in your life Ivan-“
Ivan got up, ignoring the sting in his arms and the bruise that probably was forming on his skin from the shove. Slowly, gently, he rose his hand, taking Andrew’s. His cold long fingers felt like a corpse compared to Andrew. Ivan looked at Andrew, really looked. His emotionless expression fading, his lazy eye still, his expression was one that spoke volume.
”i’m.. i’m sorry Andrew. I dunno how I can make it up but- i.. i’m sorry. i don’t think i can even forgive myself. For being selfish. I just… I wanted you… To stay. I wanted to be proud of something with you..”
Ivan looked at Andrew, the other’s face almost a pink from the burning sensation in his eyes. Andrew was still furious, still heated. He pulled away.
”look. It’s.. it’s going to take me a while to forgive you. For what you’ve done. But if you’re willing to change. I’ll stay.”
Ivan’s eyes lit up a bit, his chest lifting.
“you- you mean it?!”
”Well- i’m still going to live somewhere else. But sure… If, and only if, you change. You take accountability, and you stop being a jerk”
Ivan nods, a smile forming.
“okay- okay… i- i swear..”
He holds Andrew’s hands again. Gentle, warm. Meaningful.
”i promise- i promise Andrew- i’ll be there- i-ill be the best i can be-“
”okok- jesus. i get it.”
The two stood there for a moment. Andrew gently pulled Ivan into a hug, sighing in relief.
”don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
Time Skip cuz i’m a lazy bum
It had been a few months since that incident. Ivan decided to move apartments, getting one that actually had windows and no rooftop access. Only for emergencies. He also started therapy, getting advice on how to manage and acknowledge his past and emotions and learn to cope. It was definitely better having someone who would listen to him and his weird complex of wanting to be recognized. Andrew deleted the game Ivan had released, starting up a new project and this time allowing Ivan to help and be the scriptwriter. He had also moved to the same complex, but never told Ivan which floor or room so he wouldn’t bother him all day long. Things were good. The two were getting along again, sorting out their problems.
1 new message from: Andrew
hey. i’m bored.
computer screen making me sick.
movie night?
Ivan glanced to his phone, seeing the message from Andrew. He smiled a bit, replying.
Sure
What time?
My place?
He set his phone down, smiling. Lately, his old feelings for Andrew have grown. Not like before with his obsession, but more genuine likeness for the other man. After about 5 minutes his phone pinged again.
9 sound good?
Yours lol.
Okay!
See u then :)
Ivan stared at his phone, overthinking a little bit about the little smiley face. No, calm down. It’s just two friends, making up their problems. He won’t do anything wrong or stupid. This is a test to show he’s matured and grown.
About 9:32 Andrew arrived, holding a small bottle of Bloxy Cola and a blanket.
”sorry, got caught up and didn’t realize the time”
He leaned a bit, already wearing his pajamas. He hesitated, expecting Ivan to crash out about being late.
”no worries! i wasn’t exactly ready either-“
Ivan smiled a bit, walking further into his apartment, letting Andrew in. So far so good.
Ivan’s apartment was cozy, having a bit more plants and windows. It was similar to the old one, just a bit more lively and spacious. His old couch still with him, facing the already turned on TV. Ivan sat down, smiling as he watched Andrew get comfortable in a spot on the couch.
“so… what do you want to watch?”
Ivan spoke, a bit nervously and awkward as if the two hadn’t known each other.
”hm… horror movie?”
Ivan frowned, his body curling a bit. No, remember, you can’t let yourself be selfish.
”s-sure! whatever you want!”
Andrew glanced to Ivan, taking the remote and scrolling through the various options.
“Hellraiser?”
”yeah-.. sounds good..”
About 30 minutes into the movie Ivan felt his skin squirming. Sure, he’s seen gore, been on weird websites on the internet, maybe a few scars on his arms and legs, but god was it difficult to watch a man being skinned alive and then coming back as a walking wet body made of purely muscle. Ivan had curled into the blankets, staring at the screen, not daring to look away, even though he probably should. Andrew had slowly scooted closer, slowly moving in on Ivan. Andrew had long forgotten the plot of the film, solely focusing on Ivan. At some point, a sex scene played, making Ivan glanced away a bit, letting Andrew move in.
“maybe we should-“
Ivan started, smiling weakly as he looked to Andrew. He froze, seeing the two face to face, their noses almost touching. The two sat there for a moment as a moan from the TV sounded out. In a blink, Andrew closed in on Ivan, locking their lips together.
Ivan flinched, his eyes still open as he was trying to process what was happening. Andrew had moved in, forcing his tongue into Ivan’s mouth and exploring every corner, slowly trying to reach down the traumatized man’s throat. Ivan soon realized what was happening, gasping as he pulled away, making a string of saliva disconnect the two as he panted.
Silence….
”Ivan- i’m.. i’m sorry i-“
Ivan gained his breath, going back to Andrew and kissing him. The two wrestled together, trying to fight for dominance. In the end Andrew would win, making sure to mark a victory bite into the other man’s neck.
Ivan whined, feeling Andrew press him into the bed harder. The two moved from the couch to the bedroom, wanting more space and attention for each other. Ivan had been stripped down, even peeling off that red visor he constantly wore. Andrew simply peeled down his pants and boxers, letting his cock stand up and be relieved from the clothing. Ivan was pinned to his own bed, Andrew’s hands pressing his thighs against his chest, making his pussy available for Andrew.
“An-“
”shh.. just lemme take care of you.. you’ve behaved enough..”
Ivan whined, feeling Andrew’s tongue rub against his neck, making more nerves spark and sink down his spine, going straight to his lower stomach. Andrew lifted himself to the bed, using one hand to keep Ivan’s leg pressed while the other angled his cock up against Ivan’s folds, slowly rubbing and teasing the gap. Ivan thrashed a bit, shaking his head from the teasing as he looked to Andrew.
“please?”
”please what?”
Ivan flushed, throwing his head back in refusal to admit what he wanted. Andrew chuckled, slowly pulling his tip away. Ivan groaned, looking down.
”please just- fuck me already”
Ivan sighed, giving in. Andrew smiled, kissing Ivan’s kiss filled jawline.
”good boy.”
Andrew slowly shoved the tip in, being sure to go slow for Ivan. The pressure around him was unbelievable, feeling Ivan instantly wrapping around his cock. The smaller man cried, his legs already aching. The pressure only worsening as he felt Andrew shoving his cock into Ivan, not waiting for the smaller man. Ivan thrashed, trying to angle his hips and give Andrew more access. Andrew panted, slowly rocking his hips in as he shoved more in, making Ivan squeak out another moan.
“just a little more-“
”ngh- hmm~..”
Ivan could only accept, unable to resist or even speak due to his embarrassment. Andrew stopped for a moment, making Ivan perked up before slamming in, bottoming out. Ivan groaned, his teeth clenching as he throbbed around Andrew. Ivan’s eyes closed, making him tense. The pain shifted to pleasure, the feeling of Andrew’s tip pressing into his womb making him wet. Ivan’s mind soon blanked, making him moan out of instinct.
”ah- ugh~ A-Andrew?!”
Ivan whined, feeling his hips being lifted and abused as he felt his best friend starting to snap his hips back and forth, ramming his cock into the poor man. Ivan gasped, his eyes half lidded as he started to arch his back for Andrew, making the pleasure increase immensely. His hands found hold onto the sheets, letting him ground himself as he slowly looked down, watching Andrew’s cock disappear into him only to reappear as he slipped out before doing it again and again. God did he feel good. His mind was running wild, feeling Andrew rubbing into places his own fingers could never reach.
“a- AN~ DREW- augh~ ugh—“
Ivan’s toes curled, his head thrown back, all he could think about was how much he was about to cum. The sound of skin hitting skin grew wetter, the old bed creaking underneath the shared weight. Andrew groaned, feeling the muscle around his cock sucking him in. He went faster, beating out the cum from Ivan as he watched as his best friend turned from an awkward and cold person to a babbling moaning mess. Andrew smiled a bit, enjoying the feeling of Ivan around him, making him lean down as he hit more angles.
“ngh- I love you Ivan-“
Andrew muttered, kissing Ivan’s cheek and shoulder before going faster. Andrew cursed, feeling himself throb in Ivan, indicating he was about to cum. The more Andrew focused on hitting into Ivan, the more felt he his tip leak out into the smaller man. Ivan cried again, feeling the sudden wave of fullness. Andrew smiled, shoving his cock in deeper to get all of his load into Ivan. Andrew moaned, letting out a deep groan as he felt cock shooting into Ivan. After about a minute, the two panted. Andrew smiled, still deep in Ivan as he kissed him, giving him pepper kisses. “i love you Ivan.. I love you so-“
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“Andrew.? Andrew. Wake up.”
Andrew shot up, his breathing uneven, his heart racing. He felt sweaty, almost guilty. He looked up. Ivan’s mom stood there, a look of concern and confusion on her face as she sighed. “C’mon… the funeral’s in an hour…” She muttered, walking out his room. What? What funer-
He glanced over, his alarm clock dead, his calendar circled and labeled. Ivan Funeral. 1:00 pm. Don’t be late.
He stared at the calendar like it was a sick joke. Slowly, he looked back at himself, peeling back the sheets of shame to see his soiled boxers and shaky legs. Ivan was dead. Had been dead for almost two months. That night of the fight, he had jumped off the roof of his apartment complex, even leaving the stove on to burn down the building with him. Ivan was dead. Andrew had been having wet dreams of his dead friend. Andrew felt sick. He needed to let go of Ivan.