Chapter Text
“Step aside”
Zayn said as he pushed past the waiter who was in-charge of serving champagne to the guests. His tailcoat was trailing behind him as he walked faster. Separating people on the dance floor, murmuring “Sorry” “Excuse me” and “Oopsies”.
When Zayn stepped out of the other side of the dance floor, the next song started to play. For a second, he halted his movements.
“Damn! I love this song” he said but he couldn't stay for the dance. He has to find Louis and Harry. He mentally reminded himself to praise Harry for his amazing wedding playlist. It's really making people shake their boots, loosen up and have fun. Zayn's eyes roamed everywhere around the room. No signs of Louis or Harry. “I'm tired of them” Zayn cussed the man of the family, Mr. Louis Tomlinson and his newly wedded husband, Mr. Harry Styles.
When Louis asked him to be his best man, Zayn nodded as fast as he could. But he didn't sign up for this shit. He only signed up to walk the aisle with a perfectly made coat to impress his long term love, Liam Payne.
Even though Liam is Harry’s step-brother, they never got to interact with each other until they met at a fan event for Marvel. Zayn appreciated that the man was handsome, but didn’t catch feelings for him at the first sight. They became friends at first through their shared love for Marvel and R’n’B music.
The feeling came later when one day, Zayn and Liam were just hanging out in Zayn’s apartment discussing the new Thor movie when he realised that he just couldn't live without Liam. Liam Payne was the reason Zayn Malik went soft, romantic, sensitive, humble– totally boyfriend material if he thinks so himself.
“Zayn! Did you see Louis?” a voice came from behind.
“Speak of the devil” Zayn muttered and turned to face Liam Payne. The man of Zayn's dreams, looked like an angel under the white lights. The puppy brown eyes knocked the breath out of Zayn's. He crooked his head, falling for the beauty of Liam.
Before he could go into full love sick boy look, a girl wrapped his arms around Liam.
“Babe, I couldn't find Louis”. And just like that, Zayn woke up from his dream.
“Me too, Ruby”.
Ruby, Liam’s long term girlfriend and Zayn's alarm clock. A reality check that Liam is not his.
“Do you know where he is?” Liam asked Zayn, who left an exhausted breath and replied,
“This Styles - Tomlinson family is killing me”.
**********
*Styles - Tomlinson wedding*
“Wow! That's so generous of you to add Harry's name at first” Zayn said as he passed back the wedding invitation to Louis.
“Yeah, he deserves this”
“Deserve this or maybe because this is his first wedding?” Zayn asked with a bit of sarcasm in his voice but Louis rolled his eyes.
Yes, this is Louis's second marriage. What's wrong with that? Even Harry was okay with it but people who had no idea about what's going on Louis's life had something to say in this.
“Don't trigger me," Louis said. Zayn raised his hands in surrender. “I'm sorry Lou. I thought it would be funny”
Louis sighed as he sank back in the couch, loosening his tie, exhausted with work. “No. It's not. I'm just tired of this bullshit."
Zayn bit his lower lips and his eyes softened showing he's sorry. “I totally forgot how hard it is to pull a wedding” Louis mumbles with frustration.
Zayn chuckled. “You didn't forget. You just don't know because the last time, Danneel did everything for the wedding”
Louis's face went soft when he heard his past wife's name. His shoulders relaxed, eyes closing with happy memories as his body felt nostalgic. “Yeah. She loved wedding planning and did everything. She was awesome”. Zayn nodded and added, “Maybe ask Claire for help." The happy, relaxed feeling was stolen just like that. Louis opened his eyes tired.
“She said that she's not coming to the wedding” Louis said without meeting Zayn's eyes.
“What do you mean? I thought she's okay with you dating Harry”
Louis rubbed his eyes with his left hand.
“She is– I mean she was, until I told her that I proposed to Harry”
Zayn rolled his eyes, “Teenagers right? So she is the reason you are feeling this down?”
Louis shook his head. “I hate myself for pulling her into this”
“Then why did you propose?" Zayn raised a question.
“I–I – I had no choice. Harry wanted this wedding so badly– I mean– he never asked anything from me, he gave unconditional love and– he deserves this. We deserve this.”
Zayn stood up from his seat and checked the clock. “My break time is over, I'm getting back to work”
Louis nodded from the other side of the table.
Zayn didn't leave his boss’s room without saying, “I get that things suck between Claire and Harry but once the wedding’s over, she will understand what a good soul Harry is”.
**********
“Good soul, my foot” Claire spat as she scrubbed her white dress.
“Please, let me help you” Niall tried to grab her hand.
“No,uncle Horan! I want my dad to see how that other man's dog ruined my dress”
Niall sighed, “Please honey, stop calling him the other man”
“So you are his team now?” Claire raised her voice.
“Don't raise your voice against me. I'm not taking his side. I just want your dad to be happy”
Claire sighed, “That's the only reason I'm at this stupid wedding”
Niall rolled his eyes. “I understand why you don't like Harry but I clearly can't understand why you hate your dad too”
“I don't hate my dad,” Claire defended herself.
“You sure do. You just screamed at your dad's friends–”
“Liam is not dad's friend. Well, not initially. He only got to know him because of Styles” Claire argued back.
Naill sighed with defeat. “There is no arguing with you” He accepted his defeat to her.
Claire looked at herself in the mirror. She looked drop dead gorgeous. Everything was going as she planned. She nearly succeeded until Harry's dog jumped on her with fur full of mud.
Claire was eight when she lost her mother. Ever since then it was always her and her dad. Claire was a single child, she never liked sharing from the beginning, so when Louis introduced Harry to her, she felt betrayed. She felt his dad was cheating on his mother. Poor Claire she was only eleven when Louis started dating.
After two years, when Claire realised that Harry is probably going to be around for a while, she accepted that it's okay to move on. It's okay for his dad to date Harry unless they keep low PDA before her.
**********
“It's been four years Claire," Louis said.
Claire ignored her dad's voice. Her eyes were roaming around the restaurant, anywhere but Louis. She was blinking too fast to hold her tears slipping down.
“Baby, talk to me, please”
“Why should I dad?” Claire snapped.
Louis’s eyebrow furrowed.
“Did you talk to me before you proposed to– him? Did you consult with me? Did you even think of me? It’s already torturous that that guy and his idiotic dog are living in our home with us for a while now”
“Claire–” Louis tried to hold her hand but she pulled back her hands from the table.
“You betrayed me ” Her voice cracked, letting the vulnerability take over her emotions.
“Betrayed? Baby, what are you talking about? I'm not– Listen, Yes it's my fault that I didn't talk with you but– I didn't even plan to propose to him, it's just– it just happened”
Louis blabbered without taking his eyes off her.
He knew Claire wouldn't be happy for him but it's been four years since Louis started to date Harry. Louis thought maybe she will start to understand that he is serious about Harry.
“You proposed to him!! It would have been easier if he proposed”
“What difference does that make?” Louis asked with hands in the air.
“It fucking does dad” She screamed on top of her lungs with hands slamming on the table.
Louis flinched at the sound of her hands hitting the table. The loud noise overpowered the sound of murmurings of the restaurant.
Many pairs of eyes were staring at them but Louis didn't mind that. His blue eyes stared into his daughter's black one in pain. Behind the furiousness in his daughter's eyes, there was something raw, something heavier. Louis understood it. Claire was hurt and scared.
Disappointment settled into Louis's chest. It seems she has not accepted Harry, not entirely. Whatever Louis says about Harry is not getting to her. The child in Claire was gone. He saw a proper teenager with own emotions, own thoughts, now fighting against her own father.
When did she grow up? When did she start to look into things too much?
The tiny hands which used to hold Louis's finger everywhere they go, now slamming the wooden table to express the pain. A pain which was caused by Louis, by her dad. He remembered those same hands which used to tug at his shirt for comfort, clutching his’, before they closed Danneel’s coffin.
Now the same hands hit him like a storm. Louis's throat went dry, he felt shaken but he leaned forward and slowly placed his hand on hers.
“I understand what you are trying to say” Louis’s voice shook at first, from the weight of holding himself steady.
“If I say,-- I won’t get married right away” He paused, to check on her. Just a man, just a father.
“I will not marry him this summer,” he continued, voice firming, growing into a promise, “because you are my priority. You are my number one. You are my everything. You are my fucking daughter.”
No one minded them anymore but Louis didn't notice. Claire shows a reflection of her mother’s fire and his own stubborn heart, staring back at him.
“Okay”, she whispered.
Louis raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, dad. It will help me if you don't marry him this summer. I – I need some time”
Louis nodded, accepting her words. Heartbeat still rising in the fear of what to tell Harry. The curly headed man was over the moon for their wedding. But right now, Louis pushed the feeling to the back of his mind. Tonight it's about Claire.
**********
“Fuck, pick up the damn phone H” Louis cussed. His ass was freezing from the cold. He has walked down the street from their wedding venue and is walking aimlessly now.
Earlier, Louis saw Claire shouting something at Harry but before he could grasp what was happening, Harry left the place.
“Baby, where are you?” Louis asked himself, panicking. Harry is not the type of person to walk away from a place just because things get hard. But Louis doesn't blame Harry after all the things Claire pulled today.
Claire asked Harry to strictly wear a black suit.
“I don't want him to wear a dress”. She said with a disgusted face.
But Harry didn't mind. He agreed.
Today Claire pulled up to the wedding wearing her mother's wedding gown. Louis's jaw dropped seeing the dress which was once worn by his wife. Louis promised to love her forever, be with her forever the last time Danneel wore that dress.
Louis started to feel guilty but Harry didn’t mind. He was happy to just have Claire in their wedding. But Louis knows, with the white gown, she wanted to make the whole day about herself.
Louis cussed every time Claire pulled a stunt with her white dress, fishing for attention because he knows how much Harry wanted this day to be theirs.
The curly headed man had a whole ass book for this day. He wanted everything to be perfect.
“I'm sorry– I didn't know that she will be wearing that—”
“Lou! Lou! It's fine” Harry cupped Louis's jaw.
“No. It's fucking not”
Harry sighed but kissed Louis's forehead.
“Yes it's not but it's okay. I want this day to be perfect and look at her–” Harry took a deep breath watching Claire twirling her dress to the guests, Harry's eyes went soft with admiration.
“She is perfect Lou”
Louis pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. The first drag filled his lungs with smoke, but it didn't soothe him. It only made him sad.
Louis believes Harry was an angel sent by heaven. He can’t understand why the hell Claire hates him this much.
Louis rubbed his hands together for warmth. His palms burned faintly, and he pressed them to his face, letting the heat sink into his skin. Once. Twice. Three times. The fourth time, he left his hand there, covering his face. His forehead creased with worry. Hurt settled heavy in his chest, felt like pressing him down under the water. He bit his lower lips to hold himself from crying,
“Where are you?” Louis whispered.
“Lou! What are you doing here?”
When Harry called, it was like clawing his way out of the depths and catching that first gasp of air after drowning for an entire evening.
“Harry” Louis breathed as he looked up at his newly wedded husband.
“What happened?” Harry's voice was filled with worry.
Louis threw himself into the arms of the younger man. “Fuck”
At the instant, Harry's hand wrapped around Louis's torso. He pulled Louis closer to give him comfort and warmth.
“You are freezing," Harry said.
“I know because I can't feel my legs”,Louis said.
Harry chuckled and guided Louis to his car.
“Hop on,” Harry said.
As they drove down the street, Harry explained how Blue ruined Claire’s dress with mud so he went to buy some stain removing detergent from the supermarket nearby.
“Oh my god! That's why she was shouting at you?” Louis asked.
Harry nodded.
“I'm so sorry," Louis said.
“Hey! It's fine. You should stop being sorry”.
Louis sighed. “I can't help it. Whenever she does this–”
“Well, it was kind of Blue’s fault that her mother’s gorgeous dress looks ruined now. I wanted to calm her down myself. See, it was really good we had the wedding in this venue near our home. I could easily go and buy this thing” Harry smiled with his dimples out. Louis thought Harry’s a saint. “No one will be this calm about all of this except you H. The venue, the dress, the dates, now her being a bit of a brat. I’m really sorry she had a go at you”.
Harry just continued smiling “Hey! You are my husband now and she is my daughter. Now that we are married, I don't want you to be sorry all the time. She will come around just like she said. I’m a really happy man today. Nothing can make me sad”
Louis chuckled. “Hope she sees the good in you. Come on, Zee and Liam were looking for us” he said, holding out his hand.
Harry pecked Louis's lips and smiled wide as he held on to his husband.
**********
“That's so fucked” Louis barked out a laughter as he push their bedroom door.
“I know! I know” Harry shook his head with a faint smile on his face.
Once they got in, Louis’ smile was wiped away from his face. He stared at the floor, golden balloons floating and rose petals were thrown on the sheets of the bed. Scented candles lit here and there. Fairy lights were hung on the four posters of the bed.
“You did this?” Louis turned to Harry.
Harry ducked his head with embarrassment. “Was it too much?”
Louis rolled his eyes to hide the fondness. “You are such a sap”
“Hey!” Harry hit Louis's shoulder playfully.
Louis took another look at the room. Then finally turned to face Harry while holding his hand out, palms facing upwards. Harry raised an eyebrow.
“Wanna make love to me, my beautiful husband?” Louis asked.
Harry chuckled and asked, “Now who is the sap?”
“I don't mind being a sap for you," Louis said.
Harry hesitated, wanting to make Louis wait.
“Ah! Come on, cut the shit” Louis nearly stomped his foot.
Harry laughed and intertwined his hands with Louis’s. They both flopped onto the mattress.
“Our first sex as husband and husband," Louis said.
“Is it really happening?” Harry asked, eyes staring at Louis's blue ones.
“It is really happening” Louis kissed Harry's nose.
Harry giggled and asked, “Can this keep on happening?”. Louis slowly leaned in to capture Harry's lips.
They have done it thousands of times but every moment felt surreal like the first time. Louis's hands traced Harry's body wanting to devour him.
The kiss started slowly, they made out in the bed unhurriedly for a minute or two then couldn’t wait any longer and started to undress each other.
Louis wouldn't call it just sex. It's something he would cherish forever. It's not like the other times he gets to sleep with Harry. Tonight with the high of happiness and calling Harry as his husband, everything felt good. It felt right.
“Lou….”
“Hmm” Louis opened his eyes to see Harry. They are cuddled together with Harry as the little spoon as always, drawing patterns on Louis’ hand. They are not asleep but Louis could feel the sleep wave hitting him.
“I know we said no child– I mean–”
“Until Claire starts college, yes”
“You– Uhm– Okay” Harry whispered and clutched his sheets and closed his eyes.
“What was that love?” Louis asked like he read Harry's mind.
“No! Not a big deal” Harry shrugged.
“It's always a big deal for me. Tell me” Louis kissed Harry's hair.
“There is no escaping from you” Harry smiled and said, “I will fly back to Paris for six months”
“I know that” Louis said, voice filled with confusion. Because he knows that Harry still has work to do there.
When Louis cancelled the summer wedding, Harry applied for a temporary job in Paris. Not out of anger or hurt. It was an excellent opportunity, teaching at his dream university and he thought he could do that for a year.
Harry was appointed in the university in Paris to teach their students about creative writing for a year. Harry was over the moon when he got the acceptance letter.
But on the other hand, Louis felt guilty that he failed to keep up his proposal. Louis started to fumble more at work. He started to get emotionally detached from everyone.
A few months later, Claire heard Harry's voice from Louis' room “I miss you too”. They were talking on skype.
“Are you mad?” Louis asked, his voice verging on crying.
“Lou! I told you. I'm not! I just–Yes it sucks but Claire is important too. I don't want this wedding without Claire’s approval. You guys are all I got so–”
Claire couldn't hear the remaining conversation. She tried, but then she heard her father sniffle. Her heart broke a million pieces. She saw her dad cry only for her mother. Occasionally sometimes at movies.
She wanted to cover her ears, to unhear that fragile sound, but it was too late. It got inside her head, the moment she realized her father’s heart was no longer only hers to keep.
That night she accepted their marriage, summer was almost over when she said she was okay with this wedding. So Louis hurriedly planned a wedding in October.
“When I return from Paris, Claire would be sixteen, maybe we can start– I mean– try for a baby and when she finishes GCSE exams–”
“What if you get pregnant so soon?” Louis asked without letting Harry to complete his question.
“I won't– I mean– I'm in the meds ever since I hit puberty so, it would take time to wear off”
Louis shook his head as he sat on the bed, leaning back on the header.
“What's the rush Harry? We only got married – you–”
“I will be thirty two at that time” Harry said as he stood up from the bed. He landed on a balloon, which made an irritating sound. Harry rolled his eyes and kicked the balloon faraway.
“I don't want to risk it by trying so late. You know having a child is a dream of mine”
Louis remained silent. He listened to Harry's voice, mind running about the things Harry just said, eyes staring at his husband.
“Lou! All I'm asking is for us to try. No one gets pregnant at the very first attempt. If they get pregnant, it won't be at 32. So, just a yes. Or” Harry just sighed long. “It's fine, I just want you to think about it please,” Harry pleaded, looking at his husband’s blank face. He felt a bit dejected and turned away when suddenly Louis turned him back.
“Yes!” Louis said.
“What?” Harry asks, shocked.
“Yes, Harry. We can try” Louis said and opened his arms for Harry who stood on the floor and looked at Louis without believing.
“I'm giving you my word, We won't use any protection or pills when you return from Paris. Let's do it”
“But–”
“I don't wanna deny the first thing you ask as my husband” Louis smiled softly. “I can already imagine little ones with curly hair running around and I want that. All of it, with you!”
Harry's eyes teared up. “Thank you so much, Lou” He fell into Louis's arms.
“Aww! Don't cry, love” Louis consoled Harry, as he let his hands brush against Harry's curls, lips kissing on Harry's neck.
“Also, no one gets knocked up at their first try right?” Louis said to Harry who nodded with eagerness.
Famous last words because flash forward to just eight months later, Harry is standing before the bathroom mirror, hands over his mouth, stunned.
The pregnancy test is before him, two unmistakable pink stripes staring back at him like the truth he wasn’t ready to face. Harry made a sound between a laughter and sob.
Tears slipped down his cheeks. Was it joy? Relief? Terror? He couldn’t tell.
Something sharp was punching his heart from the inside.
He had imagined this moment so many times, but in the present, standing before it feels scary and nerve-wracking. What would Louis say?
Harry wants Louis to hug him, kiss him, tell him they will be great fathers. But negative thoughts clouded his mind. What if Louis wasn’t ready? What if he thinks it's a burden?
And worse, what about Claire? His heart twisted. A month until her exam. Another month for her results. She had been working so hard to balance her emotions between having a new step dad and studies. Fear crawled under his skin, what if his happiness only brings chaos into the family.
Harry covered his stomach with his hands, staring at himself in the mirror. He can already feel something shift within him. This instinct to protect, to nurture. It might only be a mass of cells now but Harry just knows, he is going to love this baby so much when they are born. He intertwined his hands like he's trying to protect something precious and fragile inside. Tears drops falling, Harry cussed,
“What the fuck did I do”