Archive of Our Own ^beta

Yeosang is truly bone dead tired, as he always feels this time of year. December always brings endless award shows, schedules and work; added on to ATEEZ gearing up for a comeback early in the new year. Everyday is full of something. They’d only just flown back to Korea the day before, launching straight into recordings and practices.

Yeosang is exhausted.

Sometimes he enjoys the feeling, it can be rewarding; when the work all pays off. But right now, just home from the gym and barely conscious enough to drag himself through a shower, it doesn’t feel that way. Jongho and him had made some half baked plans of watching a movie, which is why he’s even sat in their dorms at all. The maknae had managed to last 20 minutes before muttering an apology and dragging himself to bed at barely 8pm.

He’d watched the rest of the movie, but it didn’t really go in. The credits are half way done rolling, Yeosang mindlessly watching endless names scroll by; when the front door opens. He seems to blink back into his body all at once, the door clicking shut behind Wooyoung. His friend smiles at him as he toes off his shoes, not even blinking at the fact he was there at all. 

“Hey, Sang-ah.” he breathes, putting his shoes up on the rack. It’s mostly neat, a couple pairs of Hongjoong’s are littered on the floor. 

“Hi.” he replies quietly, it feels like a physical effort to have to speak. Wooyoung gives him an understanding look, one that came with knowing each other for a decade. He pads over to the couch, flopping down beside him. Yeosang can faintly smell his cologne, it’s something spicy; like woodsmoke. 

“Did you eat dinner?” he asks, breaking the tranquil quiet they sit in. Yeosang is just realising Wooyung is dressed quite nicely, and tries to rack his brain for the reason. He would have been told his plans, remembering them, however, is a whole other thing.

“Yeah.” he replies “Jongho and I got chicken.” Wooyoung just hums, and starts pulling off his many Chrome Hearts rings like they’re annoying him. Yeosang’s brain finally catches up, and the memory clicks of Wooyoung asking him if he wanted to join his dinner plans “how’s Yeonjun?”

“He’s good.” He puts his rings down in a neat pile on the table, newly dyed red hair falling in his eyes as they click together. The colour suited him, Yeosang thought “we haven’t eaten together in a while, it was really nice to catch up. It only took us one shot to start reminiscing about trainee days.”

Yeosang snorts, that definitely sounds like them. He’d turned down the offer to join them, mostly due to how exhausted he felt, and had clung to those half-plans with Jongho as an excuse. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy catching up, but Woooung and Yeonjun were both extroverted; and were a bit of a double act when they were together; even during their trainee days. 

“Soobin asked after you.” Wooyoung says quietly. Yeosang knows he stiffens slightly at the name; his heart doing something a little funny in his chest. Something out of his control.

“I… I thought it was just you and Yeonjun-ah?”

Wooyoung smirks at him “would it have changed your mind to know Soobin was there?”

Yeosang just huffs, nudging him irritably, but doesn’t reply. It wouldn’t have, not really. If anything it would have made him want to stay home more. It’s not like he and Soobin had ever…fallen out. They were still very much friends. In fact they were very close during his time at BigHit. Soobin had been shorter then, not by much, still an inch or so taller than Yeosang; unlike now. He’d really grown into his looks. But he had followed him around a bit like an oversized puppy. Yeosang had liked him. 

Maybe a bit too much.

They’d drifted apart when Yeosang had joined KQ, followed so shortly by Wooyoung. It wasn’t anyone’s fault really, for the first year or so they texted constantly; up until TXT had debuted. Things got in the way, as they tended to do, work had to keep up with; and making the time for friends had slipped to the back of Yeosang’s mind as he was caught in the whirlwind of their careers taking off. Time was strange like that, Yeosang hadn’t really meant to drift from his friend. In fact it was the last thing he wanted but time wasn’t just strange, it was cruel. And he’d blinked and suddenly it was nearly 10 years since he’d left BigHit. Since he’d properly talked with Soobin. 

And it’s not like they weren’t friendly by any means. Soobin still texted him occasionally, they mostly stayed in touch through their respective friends, who somehow managed what they didn’t. Yeonjun and Wooyoung still regularly hang out, well; perhaps regularly is a stretch. But they certainly got dinner every few months, they caught up, they reminisced. 

Yeosang wonders how they haven’t run out of memories to talk about. 

But past the occasional text; it’s just on the odd times their schedules line up. While MCing for their respective shows, award ceremonies… the likes. Yeosang still finds himself flushing at the memory of Soobin complimenting his muscles on live TV. He’s still pretty sure that was completely off script, it certainly wasn’t in the cue cards. 

Wooyoung takes pity on him “he just came to pick Yeonjun up, but he stayed for a drink before their car came. He asked how you are. Think he misses his favourite hyung.”

“That’s…” words were never particularly Yeosang’s strong suit, and the idea that Soobin had asked about him at all made his chest a little heavy. “that’s sweet of him to ask.” 

Wooyoung doesn’t say anything for a few moments. The end of the credits roll up and they dip into a real silence "obviously told him you were fine, as exhausted as the rest of us.” a little pause “you should text him; it was his birthday the other day.” 

Yeosang knows that. He’d spent 20 minutes staring at where Soobin’s number was saved; still the same cutesy little Soobin~ ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ the younger had put it in as himself a decade before. He’d chickened out, unsure how to word a Birthday message to someone you hadn’t properly seen in so long. He’d only really seen Soobin in passing many times, bowed to each other at events, had the breath stolen from his chest when Soobin smiled at him from across a room.

He was always so weak for that fucking smile.

Yeosang obviously doesn’t reply for so long that Wooyoung just sighs, and goes to stand up; probably to drag himself to bed “Just something to think about.” he shrugs, voice quiet “they’ll be at MBC anyway; we’re going to that too, right?”

Yeosang huffs a small laugh “probably, ask Hongjoong-hyung.”

Wooyoung’s fingers fall into his blonde hair, if nothing more to annoy him by ruffling it; even if the action is fond “good night, Yeosang.”

“Night.” he mumbles absently, Wooyoung’s bedroom door clicking shut behind him. 

Without his best friend there, the silence of their dorms is a bit too heavy; so he drags himself up. The walk over to his own place feels stupidly long, even if they all share the same building. His own dorms are just as quiet, suggesting Yunho had also passed out the second he got home. Yeosang doesn’t doubt their whole group is dead to the world, maybe even Hongjoong.

He goes through the meticulous steps of his skin and hair care routine, crawling under the sheets of his bed smelling faintly like coconut serum. He lies then for a bit too long, despite how exhausted he feels; sleep doesn’t come easily. He watches the streetlights against the ceiling, tracing the lines for what has to be a couple hours. Sleep hovers just out of reach the whole time, the exhaustion a physical pull on his chest. Eventually, he glances at his phone sitting on his bedside table; it almost feels like it’s calling to him. 

“Fuck it.” 

He picks it up. 

 /) /)

( • ༝•)

Soobin has sometimes struggled with being the leader. It was given to him at such a young age and he finds himself occasionally wondering if he deserved the votes of his whole team; but as he helps drag a drunken Yeonjun to bed, he really wishes they’d voted for someone else. 

The elder is leaning completely into his side, that kind of rag-doll, bone-deep heavy he only ever goes when he’s been drinking with Wooyoung. Soobin doesn’t understand his need to match Wooyoung’s drinking, but then again they had always been competitive like that, even at 16.

Yeonjun mutters something as Soobin all but drops him down onto his bed, sighing as he realises he’s still got his shoes laced up. He drops down with another heavy sigh.

“What was that, hyung?” he yanks the lace free off the first one. 

“I saaaaiddd!” Yeonjun extends the word, a little annoyingly; like it’s a great inconvenience to have to repeat the sentence he mumbled into Soobin’s shoulder in the first place “that you should just text him.”

“Text who?” He throws Yeonjun’s shoe in the general direction of his closet and starts on the other one. 

“Yeosangie.” 

Soobin knows his fingers fumble as he’s pulling off Yeonjun’s shoe, and if the elder wasn’t so inebriated, he would have absolutely noticed and never let him live it down “I… I do.” he manages after a moment, putting the shoe down with a bit more care than he’d shown the first. Yeonjun is busy crawling under the comforter; still fully dressed. 

“If you want to know how he is so badly” his words are slurring slightly, alcohol and what looks like exhaustion creeping up “ask him yourself.”

Soobin thinks his ears are flushing red “I was just making polite conversation.”

Yeonjun doesn’t buy it, letting out an amused huff “polite would be asking Wooyoung how he is, Soobin-ah.”

The blush spreads down to his cheeks, repeating “I… I do text him.”

It’s only a half lie, honestly he doesn’t actually remember the last time he’d spoken to Yeosang properly. It had certainly been a few months, even then he thinks it was a quick happy birthday message he’d sent that June; to which Yeosang had just sent back a little thumbs up reaction. Which even Soobin knew was painfully on brand for him; he didn’t expect much more. 

As much as he may want it.

Yeonjun doesn’t respond, apparently content where he has curled up into a ball and is drifting off to sleep. Soobin just sighs, muttering a little “good night, hyung.” before letting himself out of their apartment, he passes Beomgyu on the way; mid gaming match with Kai. Which means their dorms will be blissfully empty.

Soobin knows he should go to bed. They have a very rare day off tomorrow, a couple days rest before the end of the year and the tour continuing for a few more dates. He showers for maybe longer than he needs to, making the most of no one else needing the bathroom. He hears his phone chime when he’s rinsing out his conditioner, but doesn’t think much of it.

It’s only after he’s crawled into bed and plugged it into the charger by the wall that he checks the notification.

He thinks he feels the moment his heart stutters in his chest.

1 new message: Yeosang ૮・ﻌ・ა

He doesn’t think he’s ever clicked open a message so fast in his life, and briefly thinks he can hear Yeonjun laughing at him somewhere in the back of his mind. 

[00:39] Yeosang ૮・ﻌ・ა

Hey Soobinnie, happy birthday! I know I’m a couple days late but we’ve been so busy the last month I don't think I’ve known what day it is since the summer u.u 

Wooyoung told me he saw you today, I hope he wasn’t too much trouble. Also that you got Yeonjun to bed okay, I know what they’re like when they’re together.

Soobin isn’t quite aware how wide he’s smiling until a fond little laugh falls from his lips at that line. 

Anyway, I hope you had a good day; Wooyoung says you will be at MBC Gayo too; so we’ll see you at New Year. 

I miss you.

Soobjin definitely feels the way his chest swoops at that last line, in fact he reads it back a few times. I miss you.

I miss you.

His chest floods with warmth, a familiar tug he used to feel whenever Yeosang so much as smiled at him when they were trainees. He always was unfairly handsome, even then. Soobin had done what he could since Yeosang had left the company to push down those warm feelings, tucking them into a corner of his mind in a box labeled do-not-open. 

But he finds his fingers trailing over his bottom lip, like they're tingling with a memory he best not remember. 

“God, I miss you too.”

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩

Yeosang tries as much as he can not to sleep when he’s in the makeup chair. It’s hard sometimes, when he’s having his hair gently combed or the makeup staff are padding at his face softly. In retrospect, he knows they don’t mind; his members regularly take power naps during styling and they’re just gently maneuvered without fuss.

“Yeosang-ssi, can you look up for me?” asks the stylist currently retouching his makeup. He immediately does so, looking up from his phone; letting her gently tilt his chin to brush some more peachy toned eyeshadow on. 

He locks his phone with a small click, the members around him also in various stages of retouching. He’s already changed from the hanbok styled outfit they’d opened with and into the cowboy theme for their main stage. Seonghwa seems to be trying not to drift off in the chair beside him as he also has some makeup dabbed on. 

His half finished text to Soobin will have to wait for later, and he tries not to smile at how much the other had gushed about how great their opening stage was; Yeosang was more excited about their main stage. He always did love when they played Arriba and Django; he got solo focus dances. 

Wooyoung is on his other side, half way through having his hair styled back for the next stage and his eyes follow the way Yeosang pushes his phone away with a knowing little smile. Yeosang makes the mistake of catching his eye in the mirror.

“Soobin-ah, again?”

Yeosang tries not to let his cheeks flush, he’s glad for the makeup but he knows it’ll spread up to his ears without much more teasing “yeah, he was complimenting our opening stage.” 

Wooyoung hums but anymore teasing is cut off by the stylist blasting the product on his hair dry with a blowdryer. He’s extremely glad for her at that moment. Wooyoung hasn’t really stopped teasing him the last three weeks; after his initial text to Soobin wishing him a happy birthday their conversation hadn’t ever really stopped. He looks forward to checking his phone in the morning now, Soobin will usually have sent him something silly; mostly likely followed by a picture of Tori.

They text when they can through both their schedules, and Yeosang is just happy to have his friend back. It felt so easy. Familiar. Like they’d never really drifted. Although he hadn’t seen him in person since, MBC being the first show they were both scheduled to appear on. He hadn’t seen him yet, not really had the chance; they were first on and only had a small time between now and their main stage. 

“Time to go, Yeosang-ah” he blinks back, both Wooyoung and Seonghwa have gotten up from the chairs beside him, all the other members seem to have filed out, Hongjoong waiting for him at the door with an ever-patient smile. 

“Sorry, hyung.” he gets up from the chair, not quite realising his makeup had been finished “coming.”

“You okay?” Hongjoong asks as he walks over to him.

“Yeah, just a little tired is all.” he shrugs. Hongjoong gives him a little sympathetic smile, letting him walk out the door first. Yeosang does so maybe a little quicker than he really should, not wanting to hold them up. He knows he’s done so before a handful of times, usually by managing to get lost in unfamiliar venues. 

As he rounds the corner he hits something solid. The warm wall he runs into also makes a small noise of shock, and Yeosang feels a hand grab his waist to steady him.

“Sorry!” he blurts, realising that it’s not a wall at all but a person. 

And as if the world wants to play a trick on him, the ‘wall’ chirps a cute little “hyung!”

Yeosang freezes, eyes snapping up to meet Soobin’s. 

His heart does something really stupid in his chest, breath hitching as he realises Soobin’s very warm, very big, hand is touching bare skin at the small of his back to steady him; fingers slipping under the cropped shirt he wore.

He looks stupidly pretty. They’ve evidently been styled for an ethereal concept, his makeup is dewy; and there’s sparkles on the highpoints of his cheeks catching the lowlight of backstage. There’s a feather pinned in his ear, making him look angelic. Yeosang’s unaware he’s staring until someone very obviously clears their throat. 

It’s Taehyun, he thinks; and Yeosang knows his ears are red when he realises the whole of the group is standing behind Soobin.

“Sorry.” he repeats, his voice comes out a bit strangled as he steps back, Soobin’s hand slips from his back to his waist, Yeosang's not sure he's even aware of it but there's strange warmth pooling in the pit if his stomach at the touch “are… are you guys heading to stage?”

Soobin’s face splits into a smile, and Yeosang thinks he goes a bit light headed. His smile is exactly the same, still as stupidly pretty as before “yeah.” he says, eyes not moving from Yeosang’s “will you be watching?”

Yeosang’s ears have to be bright red by now “I think so.” he glances at Hongjoong who is watching them with a small, amused expression “we, uh, we’re just heading to our seats. Our main stage is a bit later.”

Soobin’s smile somehow goes a bit wider “you’ll watch me, right, hyung?”

Yeosang’s struggling to breathe, but he manages a small “of course.”

The moment is interrupted by Yeonjun, who’s wearing a smug smile and Yeosang knows Wooyoung will know about this within 10 minutes “Soobin-ah, we really have to go.” His eyes deliberately glance down to where his hand is still on Yeosang’s waist. If the way Soobin stutters, yanking his hand back quickly, shows anything; he definitely wasn’t aware. 

He clears his throat, and Yeosang can see him click back into leader-mode “right, well, I’ll maybe see you later?”

Yeosang doesn’t quite know where the bravery comes from, but he replies with a little smile and a “I hope so.” 

Soobin sends him another breathtaking grin, before the five of them are ushered away in the direction of the stage. Yeosang catches himself watching them go; Soobin's outfit is cinched slightly by a strap around his waist, even from afar Yeosang can see the dip of it. He really could wrap his hands-

He jumps back into his body when Hongjoong clears his throat. 

He spins back around, and Yeosang realises he’s being watched with a raised eyebrow. He grimaces “...please don’t tell Wooyoung.”

Hongjoong laughs, pushing him in the direction of their seats. 

 /) /)

( • ༝•)

Soobin has always credited himself on being a professional, and he manages to push away all thoughts about how warm Yeosang’s waist had been all the way through their performance. He isn’t, however, spared from an onslaught of smug looks from Yeonjun; who he sees furiously texting the moment they’re off stage. And by the grin Wooyoung shoots at him as they pass again, he knows who was on the other side. 

He is finally spared when they take their seats, politely sitting and clapping their way through a few more performances. ATEEZ take the stage not too long after, and Soobin finds himself excited to see what they had in store. Yeosang had messaged how much he liked the performance they had planned, all high energy songs. 

The lights brighten up for their stage, revealing a saloon style set, and a thrill runs up Soobin’s spine - bright and alive. The theatrics are great, as the mash up of songs starts it’s like he’s watching a western movie; a group of cowboys drinking together. But he can’t look away from Yeosang if he tries. They all fill the stage, it’s brilliant and loud, but the world seems to narrow to a point with Yeosang at the centre. He tries to convince himself it’s a coincidence, Yeosang has just been on his mind since coming back into his life; but the racing of his heart doesn’t quite believe him.

Yeosang suddenly spins into the front, and Soobin’s chest swoops; and he suddenly pieces together why his hand had met bare skin earlier. As Yeosang lifts his arms the cropped denim shirt lifts and Soobin thinks he audibly chokes, Beomgyu certainly glances over from beside him with an eyebrow raised. The crowd screams a bit louder over his lines, apparently agreeing with him.

Soobin swallows thickly. Yosang has very clearly bulked out, this year especially, his stomach much more defined than he remembered the lanky teenager, even to a couple years before. It suited him. 

Yeonjun leans over to him, and he kind of wants to smack the smug look off his face “you okay, Soobinnie?”

“Fine.” he croaks. Yeonjun has the nerve to laugh at him. 

He definitely can’t stop watching him now, every move of his arms lifts the shirt to show the planes of his stomach; Soobin tries his best to keep his thoughts perfectly platonic, but every look into the camera Yeosang gives has his stomach squirming and his lips tingling. 

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩

Bringing in the New Year while on live TV had been strange to Yeosang for the first year. He was so used to spending it with his family, that as a rookie he hadn't really known what to do with himself. But by now, 7 years in, he was just used to working. 

They had been ushered down the front, Jongho due to join in with the singing. Even after the countdown, Yeosang still feels exhaustion clinging to him like wet clothes; even through the genuine buzz of happiness. So much so he ushers Mingi in front of him, allowing his more extroverted friend to shine. Mingi always did, even in a crowd. The happiness does continue to bloom in his chest, he feels Wooyoung beside him. His longest friend jumps along to the song playing, and he sends Yeosang one of his sunniest smiles. 

It’s like a little spark, without warning spreading that happiness out from his chest down his whole body. It’s unreasonable really, how simply dancing with Wooyoung as the ball drops makes him forget the exhaustion that sits deep into his soul; it doesn’t fix it, just lifts him enough to remind him of everything. 

Wooyoung turns beside him, and he follows without thinking. His eyes immediately meet Soobin’s; he didn’t even know they were behind them, but the other’s huge smile somehow widens as soon as their eyes meet. The warm feeling fizzes up in his chest like champagne; and he can hear Soobin’s laugh in his ears.

He’s still tired. Still worn thin; but Soobin’s arm is falling over his shoulders and pulling him into his side so it doesn’t really matter anymore. Joy is crashing in like a rogue power surge, he’s laughing and spinning and he doesn’t even know how the circle starts. Just that it’s a matter of minutes and he’s got one hand intertwined with Soobin’s, the other in Wooyoung’s; and slowly the other six members of his group are being dragged in too. He doesn’t see it, but Soobin somehow manages to get San to join too; even with the completely flat social battery he’d whined about before they went back on stage. 

He hears Soobin’s bright laugh, even through his stage inears; and something inside his chest loosens. The years they’d drifted seem to just collapse into dust, and suddenly Yeosang’s ribs feel a bit too small to contain the happiness blooming. 

       It obviously can’t last forever, and eventually they’re being ushered backstage again as the show comes to a close; but the lightness to his body doesn’t leave. He thinks he’s still smiling like an idiot as he pulls off his stage clothes, changing back into the comfortable outfit he’d arrived in. He leaves his makeup, and Seonghwa is doing a headcount of them when Hongjoong appears at his elbow.

“Yeosang-ah.” he says quietly, there’s a small smile on his lips as he nods to their greenroom door “someone for you.”

He starts to frown but Hongjoong just raises an eyebrow and it clicks, he’s glad he didn’t scrub his makeup off as he thinks his cheeks flush “thanks, hyung.”

Hongjoong just shrugs placidly “just be quick, okay? Cars are due in 5.”

He nods, and slips to the door as quietly as he can, watching as Hongjoong captures Wooyoung’s attention. He’s never been quite so glad for their leader as the door closes behind him. 

Soobin smiles the second he sees him; he’s also changed into casual clothes. His hoodie is so big it drowns even his tall frame. He looks much softer, dressed down from the stage clothes but just as ethereal. 

“Hey.” Soobin breathes “I’m glad I caught you before you guys left.”

Yeosang’s already smiling “yeah, me too.”

“It was… it was really great to see you again, hyung.”

“Yeah, though I wasn’t exactly expecting a fairy ring.” 

Soobin laughs, warm and sweet “yeah, me neither. It was fun though.”

“Yeah.”

Soobin glances down the hallway, where it looks like his manager is hovering “listen, we’re just on our way out but-” he looks back at Yeosang “Yeonjun and Wooyoung are due to have their monthly alcohol poisoning next week; what do you say we crash it?”

Yeosang laughs at the wording, but his cheeks are starting to hurt with his smile “yeah, sounds good. Text me the details?”

Soobin’s smile widens “of course.”

There’s a little pause in their conversation, not awkward exactly but heavy; poignant. Like it carries everything unsaid between them in it. Soobin ducks quite suddenly, and Yeosang lets off a breath as their chests bump together. He lags in the realisation Soobin’s arms are around his waist, that he's ducking down from his stupidly tall height to hug him.

“Oh-” He says without really meaning it, but his arms fall around Soobin’s shoulders without a second thought.

The younger’s scent evades his senses, and Yeosang’s eyes almost sting with the realisation he uses the same cologne as he used to. He smells like sunshine itself, sweet and bright and so familiar. 

Soobin pulls away just as quickly as he’d initiated it, and Yeosang can see his ears are red; it has something fond unfurling in him.

“S-See you soon!” Soobin grins; turning rather quickly on his heel and scurrying down the hallway. 

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩

Yeosang’s never particularly cared a great amount for what he wears. He’s always just worn what he liked, what was comfortable, labels never particularly mattered. Unlike Wooyoung; whose love for Chrome Hearts is widely known. He’s never been creative with them like Hongjoong or interested in modelling like Seonghwa, but as he fusses with his hair by the door of his dorms, he’s a little concerned he’s not dressed nicely enough.

His worries are qualmed a little by Yunho walking out of his bedroom; his hair is freshly washed and fluffy; wearing old spiderman pajamas and what he thinks is San’s hoodie. 

“You look nice.” he says, flopping down on their sofa and reaching for their PS5 controller “where are you off to?” 

“Thanks; I’m just getting dinner with Wooyoung and a couple of the TXT guys.” he says, finishing where he was smoothing down his perfectly styled blonde hair. 

Yunho’s lips twitch into a little smile “and you’re wearing the t-shirt that shows your biceps for that?” 

Yeosang knows his cheeks colour, and he smooths his hair over his ears in an attempt to cover it “it’s just comfortable.”

Yunho doesn’t buy it for a second, smirking as the start up sound of their gaming console comes on “oh yeah, compression shirts always are.”

He’s saved by any more teasing by Wooyoung knocking on their door, he can tell by the rather distinct, musical pattern he always knocks with. He throws a jacket on to curve Wooyoung commenting too before he leaves.

           The car ride there is relatively short, Yeonjun had apparently picked a bar and BBQ place about half way between both their dorms to keep it fair. Wooyoung links his arm through Yeosang’s when they get there, it had been snowing heavily in Seoul for a good few days and he’s wearing his usual chunky sole shoes to give him a bit of height. Yeosang lets him cling to his arm to stop him slipping as they walk into the restaurant. Their table is tucked into a back corner, luckily with a small partition that keeps it nice and private. 

Soobin and Yeonjun are already there; sitting opposite each other and apparently in a rapid discussion. Yeonjun is facing them, and very visibly kicks Soobin under the table when he sees them approaching. Wooyoung quickens his pace ever so slightly; arm slipping from Yeosang’s.

“Hey!” he greets, smiling widely and stepping around the table to take the seat beside Yeonjun. Soobin turns from where he’s sitting and Yeosang wants to curse the way his chest squeezes. His dark hair is pushed under a cap that’s sat backwards; but it's raking all his hair from his (stupidly) handsome face. His sweater looks soft, a deep forestry green colour that suits him far too well. He smiles at Yeosang, it’s something small, but it feels private. 

“You guys made it through the blizzard.” Yeonjun laughs; Wooyoung is shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up beside theirs on a little hook by their table. Yeosang swallows and does the same.

One of them whistles, he thinks it’s Yeonjun, but he quickly hangs up his jacket with Wooyoung’s and takes the last available seat beside Soobin. Yeonjun is grinning at him, Wooyoung’s face smug and too knowing. He doesn’t dare look round at Soobin yet.

“You really got some muscles this year, Yeosang-ah.” Yeonjun wiggles his eyebrows at him. It’s a bit familiar, he’s not changed all that much since they were trainees. Yeosang finds himself smiling anyway.

“You’re one to talk.” he shoots back.

Wooyoung cackles across from him “he’s not wrong, I swear I saw your abs every time I turned a corner when your solo came out.” 

Yeonjun quips something back, but Yeosang is busy chancing his first glance round at Soobin; who is already looking at him. His cheeks are flushed a bit pink, and Yeosang wants to blame the beers and soju already sitting on the table, despite none of them being open yet. He’s looking at Yeosang with a look he can’t quite place, but he doesn’t dare hope that it’s thinly veiled hunger. Honestly, Yeosang isn’t sure what reaction he’d been hoping for, he wasn’t letting himself even think about why he pulled this shirt out his closet. A vague excuse to himself that it was thermal and it was cold. But as he watches the way Soobin’s throat bobs as he swallows thickly, he thinks this was the real reason.

“You look great, hyung.” he breathes, quietly to stop the others hearing it. Although they appear to be playfully bickering so probably wouldn’t notice if they stood up and left.

“Thanks.” he smiles at him, it’s returned but Soobin’s eyes are flickering back and forth from his eyes to his torso. The smile turns a bit smug “you too.”

They’re interrupted by Yeonjun offering them drinks and Wooyoung starts putting strips of meat on the hotplate in the middle of the table. Yeosang accepts the Soju offered to him, it’s sweet and grape flavoured. He feels Soobin’s thigh touch his under the table, but doesn’t pull away. He can feel the warmth of his skin even through their clothes.

             The food and drink flow freely over the next hour or so. And Yeosang’s got a mouthful of food, a couple beers deep when the teasing properly starts. He’s not even sure how they get on the subject but Wooyoung is laughing as he wiggles his eyebrows at Soobin.

“We can’t all collect dating rumours like Soobin can.” 

He chokes a bit on the sip of beer he’d been taking, and it fizzes uncomfortably in his nose. Soobin looks like a deer caught in headlights, mid-pushing a huge lump of soybean sprouts into his mouth. 

Yeonjun immediately joins “well, he’s just so handsome and his eyes do sparkle.”

Yeosang feels something strange bubble up in his chest. The silly rumour that came from Soobin getting San to join in the circle at MBC had him feeling something he couldn’t quite place; cold right in the pit of his stomach. He is trying not to name it, despite knowing exactly what the feeling is. 

“You’re going to end up with rumours from our whole group.” Wooyoung laughs, pointing his chopsticks teasingly at Soobin “was it not Seonghwa-hyung before?” 

Soobin whines, swallowing his mouthful “all I did that time was post something similar.”

“You just have men falling at their feet for you.” Wooyoung grins, eyes flickering to Yeosang pointedly; who's picking at his meat, suddenly not as hungry as before.

Soobin huffs “I didn’t even mean to spark them, I know it’s a joke but I just didn’t want San-hyung left out.”

“You should definitely try and collect all of ATEEZ.” Yeonjun grins

Soobin groans, his cheeks a little redder than before. Yeosang finally finds his voice “give him a break, guys.”

Apparently it’s exactly the wrong thing to say, Wooyoung’s pure evil smile is pointed towards him suddenly “Why? Jealous, are we?” Soobin chokes beside him, Wooyoung doesn’t let either of them breathe “you should start with Yeosangie then.”

He glances at Soobin, whose cheeks have flushed a very cute pink, and he’s very clearly trying not to meet his eyes. Yeonjun apparently takes pity on them both first “okay okay, that’s enough; before Soobin explodes. I’m gonna get some more drinks, same as before?”

“I’ll help you carry them!” Wooyoung chirps. Yeosang considers banging his head on the table about their complete lack of subtlety. 

Him and Soobin dip into a silence as the other two disappear in the direction of the bar. He watches as Soobin reaches for his untouched shot of soju and throws it back.

“Ignore them.” Yeosang eventually settles on “they’ll tease anything that moves.”

Soobin pauses for a moment before speaking “they are right though.”

Yeosang frowns in confusion, turning to properly look at Soobin. He’s already looking right back at him, eyes have an edge of determination. He’s closer than before, so much so Yeosang can smell the sweet sunshine of his cologne and he curses the way his breath hitches.

“They… they are?” he manages, his voice sounding strangled. Soobin leans even closer, and Yeosang can barely breathe. He almost startles as he feels Soobin’s warm hand touch his thigh, brain reeling with just how big it is.

Soobin seems pleased by the reaction, his cheeks are still flushed from the alcohol and being the centre of their teasing “if there’s anyone I’ve done something with to deserve a dating rumour in ATEEZ, it’s definitely you.

Yeosang shivers, it runs up his spine like a thrill. His lips tingle with it; memories flooding into his head and causing his stomach to squirm.

“Don’t you remember, hyung?” Soobin breathes, Yeosang can feel the puff of his breath over his cheek.

He has to swallow the lump in his throat to reply, his voice still comes out weak “of course I do.”

Soobin smiles, like it’s a small victory. Like Yeosang could ever forget.

        Yeosang hadn’t thought him leaving BigHit would be much of a big deal. Sure, he had made some great friends, ones he hoped he could keep even when he moved to this new company but he didn’t really expect a grand farewell. Trainees came and went all the time. It was the right decision, after all, he knew that; he wasn’t sure how much more training he would need to do in this new company but it FELT right.

At least it did, until he was face to face with a pouting Soobin. It was late, and they were both still in the practice rooms; at least he didn’t have to face any more monthly evaluations here. He’d stayed after, his first day at KQ was soon and he wanted to impress. Wanted to easily make their final group line up. Soobin had followed him, as he did a lot back then.

“You’re really leaving?” Soobin’s voice was small. He wasn’t as tall then, he’d just taken over Yeosang and seemed to be hitting a growth spurt. Yeosang glanced at him, they sat with their shoulders brushing; catching their breath, backs against the mirror. It was quiet except for the hum of the air conditioning. 

Yeosang didn’t really know what to say, just tried to give Soobin a gentle smile “you’ll be fine, Soobin-ah.”

The pout deepened, and Yeosang tried not to find it cute “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” he’d said on reflex, but it was the truth “besides, we’ll still see each other.”

Soobin pointed those big eyes at him “promise?” 

Yeosang laughed, nodding to placate him “promise.”

He wasn’t even sure how it had happened, he thinks his eyes flickered down to Soobin’s lips for a half second. He was weak for them, even then; the prominent soft dip of his cupid’s bow. When he looked back up Soobin was closer than before, so close their noses brushed together. It was something Yeosang couldn’t fight against, or didn’t want to, he wasn’t sure. Like something pulled him towards Soobin, tugged at him; quiet and relentless. 

When their lips met it felt inevitable. Soobin let out a little gasp, soft and sweet; but pushed against him. Their hands met on the floor between them, and Soobin’s was warm, skin soft; and Yeosang squeezed his fingers. The kiss was just as soft, just a brush of lips ghosting over each other at first.  

He had known he should stop, but the warmth in his chest bloomed so suddenly he couldn’t. Couldn’t stop himself from deepening it, stop his hand lifting to Soobin’s jaw. Soobin’s own contracted around his; and Yeosang almost startled when he felt the other on his waist but he was too busy sighing against Soobin’s lips. He tilted his head back slightly and Soobin went so easily, letting Yeosang lick into his mouth. 

The small sound he let out was addictive and Yeosang was spurred on to deepen the kiss further without even thinking, hand pulling Soobin as close as possible; the other one trailing down his neck to feel his pulse kicking against his touch. 

Yeosang knew he should stop, but kissing him felt like being bathed in sunlight; something soft rather than demanding; and he couldn’t pull away if he tried.

             Yeosang shivers at the look in Soobin’s eyes, his hand is so fucking warm on his thigh, and that pull starts again; like he’s falling into Soobin’s orbit. He really had grown into his looks, and that growth spurt had pushed him to an annoyingly attractive height. 

He wants to kiss him. 

And, like before, knows he shouldn’t; they’re in public, although away from the rest of the restaurant, he seems to forget that. The world narrowing to a point with Soobin at the centre; his fingers squeeze Yeosang’s thigh and his breath audibly hitches. He leans in, like a man possessed. Soobin moves too; and Yeosang’s breathing comes out short. Again, it feels so natural, inevitable in the most gentle way. 

He thinks briefly about stopping, pulling back and trying to play it off as a joke; but Soobin’s lips brush his and it disappears. Moving closer to him felt like coming home.

“Okay!” 

Yeosang jumps at Wooyoung’s voice, startling away from Soobin as they round the partition again. Yeonjun carries a tray with more drinks on it, several more bottles of plum soju precariously balanced on it. 

Soobin pulls back too, and Yeosang can see the pout on his lips. He looks disappointed, and Yeosang can’t read too much into that without his chest aching. 

He snatches a bottle instead.; not quite hearing Yeonjun and Wooyoung talking.

Soobin’s hand doesn’t move from his thigh. 

 /) /)

( • ༝•)

Soobin groans, flopping face first down on Yeonjun’s bed. The elder gives him a half-hearted pat to the back of his head, the alcohol still swirls in his system; and he wonders for a second if Yeonjun’s bed is spinning. 

“Cheer up, Soobinie.” he sighs, Soobin feels the bed dip as he sits down beside him. Yeonjun pets into his hair soothingly “it’s not the end of the world.”

“It feels like it.” he grumbles, and Yeonjun has the absolute nerve to chuckle. Soobin peers out from his hiding space in his pillow to shoot him a death stare.

Yeonjun is smiling placating “don’t look at me like that.”

“I fucked it up!” Soobin whines, Yeonjun’s face softens.

“You didn’t fuck anything up, idiot.” he shakes his head “but maybe don’t try kiss your 10 year long crush at a group dinner in public.”

“Hyung!” Soobin hides his face back in the pillow, it smells like Yeonjun’s expensive shampoo.

“When I told you to ‘go for it’ I meant ask him out, y’know, alone; not jump him in public.”

Soobin wants the bed to swallow him, mumbling rather childishly “you should have been more specific.”

Yeonjun laughs “I didn’t think I needed to spell it out for you. Plus they got there; did you want me to tell you to ask Yeosang out while he’s literally standing there?” Soobin frowns “don’t pout.”

“I’m not pouting.” Soobin says, pouting. 

“Right.” Yeonjun sighs, clearly very unconvinced “so, when you’re done pouting into my pillow; why don’t you just text him. Ask him to hang out, alone; then you can jump his bones in peace.”

Soobin makes a scandalised noise, looking back up from the pillow “I wasn’t going t-”

“Sure.” Yeonjun cuts him off “you look at everyone like that? Soobin, please, you were eyefucking him the whole time.” 

Soobin doesn’t have an argument, because if he was being honest with himself Yeonjun hit the nail right on the head. He’d come to terms with his residing crush for the elder since they’d reconnected. That warm feeling in his chest that would make his palms sweat when he was a teenager had hit him again like a freight train. But ever since that fucking cropped shirt for their New Year performance, he was struggling more and more to keep those thoughts simply romantic. 

Quite honestly, he did want to jump him. 

Especially in that stupid fucking compression shirt. It was no secret to most, one he’d initially tried to cover, that he enjoyed being manhandled. Just a little. 

And Yeosang really had bulked in muscle this last year, and although Soobin had grown taller he didn’t doubt he could throw him around pretty easily. He tries not to shiver just at the thought.

Yeonjun smacks the back of his head when he doesn’t reply for a bit too long “stop thinking about it, you freak.”

“I wasn’t!”

God, he was. 

“Just text him and get out of my house.” Yeonjun groans, the bed creaking as he gets back up.

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩

Yeosang had really hoped he’d manage to sneak out of their dorm without anyone noticing, apparently the world really had it in for him as when he walks through their living space; Yunho is sitting on the couch with Mingi and Hongjoong. He’s only mildly surprised to see Hongjoong out of the studio this close to their comeback, but it looks like he’s being gently coerced into dinner so Yeosang imagines Yunho and Mingi dragged him here kicking and screaming. 

Hongjoong sees him first, and a little tired smile comes over his face “hey, Sang-ah; you look nice.”

Yeosang knows that if anyone can curb the teasing he’s about to be subjected to it’s their leader; so his smile is returned with a quiet “thank you.” as he goes to pick his shoes up from the door. He’s not dressed as obviously as last time, plain white polo tucked into one of his nicer pairs of jeans. 

“Where are you off to?” Yunho asks, it’s an innocent enough question but he still braces himself as he answers.

“I’m, uh, getting dinner with Soobin.” he tries to sound casual; but can see the look Mingi and Yunho exchange. 

“Just the two of you this time?” Yunho prods as Yeosang finishes lacing his shoes.

Yeosang shoots him a look as he grabs his keys from the door “yes.”

Yunho opens his mouth again, but Hongjoong cuts over him “Have a nice time, Yeosang-ah.”

He breathes another “thank you, hyung.” and makes his escape. 

He’s so nearly in the clear but hears Yunho call “use protection!” just before the door clicks shut behind him. He almost turns around to smack him, but takes a calming breath and heads for the stairs instead.

There’s a car already waiting for him and he’s still trying to calm his nerves as he gets in. Yunho’s comment most certainly didn’t help, that’s not what he was planning from tonight at all. Despite how long he might have taken in the shower, going through a routine he hadn’t done in years, might beg to differ. 

He’d missed Soobin’s text until the morning after their last dinner. He’d gone home, collapsed into his bed and tried not to scream frustrations into his pillow. What he felt for the other was… complicated. And if he thought too hard about it made his chest ache. He’d always had a soft spot for Soobin, even when they were trainees. If he was being honest with himself now, he knew it wasn’t just a soft spot. He’d genuinely had feelings for him. Feelings he’d spent the last 10 years attempting to crush into a box and tuck away in a corner of his mind. 

But it was clear he wasn’t alone. 

He thought. Yeosang wasn’t sure exactly what Soobin felt for him. He’d never been the best at reading emotions. They’d drunk a little too much the week before, and Yeosang could maybe blame that for the way Soobin acted; but it didn’t explain the look in his eyes. The blush. The clear disappointment when he couldn’t kiss him. And the text he’d received that night. 

Yeosang stares at it now, his chest already aching. 

[01:09] Soobin~ ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ 

Hi hyung! Make sure you drink plenty water to not get a headache tomorrow~

Do you want to hang out again next week? We have a little break before the tour continues

If you’re free that is. I know you have comeback prep so no worries if not

But I thought we could get dinner and watch a movie

Just the two of us

Let me know! 

Yeosang tries not to think how cute his rambling is, probably made worse by the amount of plum soju he’d drunk. But he couldn’t place the intention behind it all. Just the two of us. 

That felt clear. But still there was a nagging doubt in the corner of his mind that he’d get all the way there for Soobin to let him down gently. He isn’t sure he’d recover from that; after finally getting Soobin back in his life he doesn’t want to fuck it up. Every thought of him seemed to crowd Yeosang’s chest, warm but terrifying all at once. He found himself constantly replaying moments with him, how good his hand felt on his thigh, or his waist. The glances that felt heavy, carried for too long; something crackling within them. His sweet laugh seemed to ring on a loop in Yeosang’s mind when he was trying to sleep. It was terrifying.

What scared him most was not that he liked Soobin, but the idea he might be feeling that way alone. 

The ride is over far too quickly, and Yeosang sends a gentle thanks to the staff as he clambers out. The block they stayed in wasn’t a great deal different from theirs, highrise near the new HYBE building. Yeosang finds a strange bittersweet feeling in his chest when remembering their old BigHit practice rooms. 

He types the code Soobin sent him in, and immediately heads for the elevator. The ride feels both painfully long and too short all in one. He dithers at the door for a few seconds, checking one too many times if it was the right number, before biting the bullet and knocking. 

It takes Soobin a minute to open the door, and when he does Yeosang feels his chest do that stupid little flip. He’s already smiling, hair a little mussed. He wears a big, soft grey hoodie and Yeosang kind of wants to bury his face in it. Neither of them speak, maybe for a moment too long, their eyes not moving from each other.

“You’re here.” Soobin breathes, finally, and opens the door wider for him to come in. 

Their dorms are nice, and well decorated; unlike him and Yunho who spent several months with just a massage chair in the corner of the living room. 

“Yeah.” he manages, a bit lamely. Soobin doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe he doesn’t care, just nods for Yeosang to follow him into the living room. 

It seems Soobin has already set it up for them, there’s several soft blankets thrown over the couch; and Yeosang spots take out containers for his favourite chicken place on the coffee table. Their TV switched on to streaming services.

“You’re really prepared.” He finds himself huffing a little laugh. Soobin smiles so sweetly, scratching at his neck as a cute little blush spreads out over his bare face. Yeosang had also not bothered with makeup, just putting on his usual peachy lip balm and some sunscreen. 

“I asked Wooyoung-hyung what your favourite place is.” he shrugs, flopping down into the comfy pile of blankets. Something twists in Yeosang’s at just how sweet that is. He’s distracted by Soobin pointing that pretty smile up at him, patting the space on the couch beside him. He’s only so strong. 

Soobin’s right side presses down his left as he sits down, but he doesn’t move away; the other just hums and reaches for the remote “what do you wanna watch, hyung?”

Yeosang can’t think of anything except that sweet, sunshine smell. It’s like sea air and fresh oranges and it’s wrapping around him now that Soobin is so close “you pick.” he shrugs.

Soobin grins at that, Yeosang doesn’t even see what he puts on. It’s something loud and action packed, but he can only focus on Soobin encouraging him to eat. They do so in a comfortable half-quiet. Their conversation is calm, small exchanges made between mouthfuls of food. Yeosang feels the tension from his shoulders melt slightly, calmed by how easy it felt to be around Soobin; despite how much he worked it up in his head. It didn’t feel like borrowed space, like he wasn’t sure he could take it up. 

Soobin felt like home.

They talked more quickly now; laughing easier, sitting closer, letting small silences pass without feeling the need to desperately fill them. 

“This place really is good.” Soobin groans, pushing away the container of mostly finished tteokbokki and flopping back so his back meets the couch.

Yeosang swallows the last bite he’d been taking “Yeah, right? Wooyoung and I found it really quickly after we got to KQ. We order there so much now they know our names and order.”

Soobin smiles a bit wistfully at that, and it turns amused as Yeosang glances at him. He stifles a small laugh and Yeosang frowns.

“What’s so funny?”

Soobin’s grin is so cute “you have a little sauce.” he gestures to his own nose and mouth and Yeosang groans in embarrassment. He reaches for napkins, quickly brushing at his face haphazardly; watching sticky red sauce come away on the white material. 

“Is it gone?” he turns back to Soobin, who has sat up; now closer than before. Yeosang’s breath hitches as the proximity; but Soobin doesn’t so much as blink. 

Yeosang feels something warm touch his chin, Soobin’s long fingers clutching it between his thumb and forefinger. He’s looking at Yeosang so intently his face burns, stomach twisting with what he knows is want. He wants Soobin to kiss him. Wants to push him down into the sofa, wrap hands around his stupid, tiny waist. Wants…

“Almost.” Soobin mutters, it’s barely audible and Yeosang just manages to catch it. 

His breathing stutters as Soobin leans forward, Yeosang’s eyes flicker shut on reflex; waiting for the moment those pretty lips meet his own. The air between them feels like it stretches too tight, a string pulled to its absolute limit. His heart seems to still like the silence as he waits for what he’d been craving since that fucking restaurant. Probably since Soobin kissed him as a trainee. 

Soobin’s lips meet the very corner of his mouth, more his cheek than anything else. Yeosang feels a strange surge of both disappointment and simmering want as his tongue darts out. It takes him a second to realise he’s licking off the last of the sauce.

Soobin barely pulls out of his space; they’re breathing the same hot air as their eyes meet again “There.” he mutters “much better.”

Yeosang feels an indignant whine bubble before he can stop it totally slipping out; Soobin smiles at the sound. Far too smug and pretty at the same time.

“What?” he hums, Yeosang feels his thumb stroke over his bottom lip; Soobin eyes following his own movement as he tugs it slightly “expecting something else, hyung?” 

The string snaps.

“Shut up.” Yeosang huffs, his hands shooting out. 

They fist in the front of Soobin’s hoodie and pull him down with a little more force than intended. Their teeth clack together but Soobin is immediately groaning into the kiss, like he’s saying finally. Yeosang swallows the sound down. 

This kiss is immediately deep, and Yeosang clings to the front of his hoodie for dear life, wrinkling the material. Soobin’s scent washes over him; like a bright summer day. It makes his chest feel hot, the feeling growing tenfold with the way Soobin’s hands slip to clutch at his jaw; tilting his head to get better access to his mouth. Everything is warm, Soobin’s hands simmering hot on his face. As if remembering he can move his own hands, he slips them down to Soobin’s waist, wrapping hands around it like he’d been craving for weeks. Soobin makes a soft noise as he squeezes his fingers; and it has arousal flooding Yeosang’s stomach, hot and completely unable to ignore.

He gasps, something wet sliding over his bottom lip. It takes him a second to realise it’s Soobin’s tongue, gently caressing at his skin before he tugs his lip between teeth, the resulting groan has Soobin fully sliding his tongue into his mouth and Yeosang loses his last shred of self control. He lets off a juttering groan as he opens his mouth to allow him access. 

The kiss turns messy, an edge of desperation to it. One of Soobin’s hands tangles in the back of his hair; the other still clinging to his cheek. Yeosang feels dizzy at it, his tongue tangling in Soobin’s mouth.

When they pull apart, there’s a string of spit joining their lips that snaps as Soobin’s eyes blink open hazily. There’s a glassy look to them now, completely different to the confidence from before and Yeosang shivers with it.

The filter between his brain and mouth lags and he mutters “so pretty.” before he can stop himself.

Soobin makes a noise far too close to a whine and Yeosang wants to take him apart, pull more of those noises from him. He manages a weak little “hyung.”

Yeosang’s stomach squirms at how affected the other sounds from just kissing, and he shushes Soobin softly “it’s okay.” he hums, his thumbs find the edge of Soobin’s hoodie; slipping under it to touch the bare skin of his waist. Soobin visibly shudders at the touch “tell me if you want to stop.”

He immediately shakes his head, voice coming out a bit desperate “please… I don’t want to stop… hyung, please…”

Yeosang wants to fucking ruin him. The sweet begging making his head cloud over “it’s okay, baby.”

The nickname feels far too natural, also slipping out before Yeosang has thought it through; a bit too drunk on Soobin’s reaction. He whines again at the name, and surges forward so their lips can meet again. 

His mouth is hot, warm and eager and Yeosang swallows every noise that slips past Soobin’s desperate lips. He moves, gently maneuvering him. Soobin goes so easy, completely pliant, letting Yeosang push him back until his back meets the couch cushions; Yeosang all but crawling on top of him.

One of Yeosang’s arms is propped by his head, leaning on his elbow to hover above Soobin as he kisses him breathless. The other falls back to his waist, the hoodie has ridden up a little; and his fingers meet bare skin. Yeosang can’t help the way his hand squeezes his hip bone.

Soobin moans as he does, right into Yeosang’s mouth. 

“God.” Yeosang breathes against his lips, the sound has his head swimming. But he can’t bear to pull back any more than a millimetre “you… you sound so fucking good.”

“Yeosang...” Soobin’s eyes are stupidly big as they look up at him, he looks like he’s trying to force something out. Yeosang squeezes his hip as soothingly as he can “I… I…”

“What is it?” Yeosang hums, still hovering over the other on the couch.

Soobin licks over his lips, his hands resting right on the nape of Yeosang’s neck; their legs awkwardly tangled on the couch “Hyung… I…” 

Yeosang smiles softly, Soobin still struggling to put the words out. He’s pretty sure he knows what Soobin is trying to say, but it seems obvious. Like their feelings for each other had become so clear they were practically insignificant.

“It’s okay.” Yeosang breathes, letting his arm go a bit slack so he can dip down into Soobin’s space. Their noses brush, and Soobin lets off a content little sigh “me too.”

And that was enough.

Soobin pulls him back down, and they’re kissing again. The younger’s hands are burying themselves in his hair. Yeosang keeps his circled around Soobin’s bare waist; thumb stroking the hot skin. He feels Soobin’s abs contract under the touch, a shiver raking through him. 

Yeosang takes that opportunity to push his whole hand under the material of his hoodie, practically groping Soobin’s narrow waist. It shouldn’t feel as good as it does, Soobin’s fingers tugging at his hair shouldn’t have pleasure stirring in him. The heat of his bare skin shouldn’t make him so dizzy. But it does, and Yeosang can’t get enough.

With some serious willpower he pulls his lips away from Soobin’s; it earns him a whine that cuts into a groan as he attaches his mouth to Soobin’s pulse point.

“N… no marks.” Soobin breathes, his back bowing slightly as Yeosang nips his neck. Yeosang makes an annoyed noise into Soobin’s soft skin, and gets a chuckle in response “you want me to show your marks off the whole tour, hyung?”

Yeosang very much likes that idea, but resists all urges so suck soft skin between his teeth. Instead muttering “would that be so bad?”

Soobin chuckles, eyes lidded as Yeosang slowly makes his way down; his spare hand pushes his hoodie upward until it’s shucked under his armpits. He pulls back just far enough to admire the exposed skin. Soobin had never been overly muscular, always tipping on the side of lean; but there’s definite definition to his waist. It tapers inwards so beautifully Yeosang doesn’t hold back that urge anymore. He wraps both hands around him and squeezes. Maybe a little harder than he should.

But Soobin moans, his back bowing again; the hoodie slipping up even further and exposing pebbled nipples. He’d had always been so quietly handsome, even when he was younger. But now as he stares up at Yeosang with flushed cheeks and glassy eyes, Yeosang feels his whole chest thrum with want. The flush on Soobin’s cheeks is spreading up to his ears and all the way down his neck under the hoodie. Yeosang finds his fingers trailing up his bare torso, down the little valley on his chest. Goosebumps bloom out from his finger tips, Soobin shuddering under his touch.

“Wh-what are you staring at?” he breathes

Yeosang can’t stop smiling if he tries “you.” Soobin shivers beneath him, Yeosang tracks the way it ripples down his body “you’re so pretty, Soobinnie.”

Soobin groans, shuffling a bit impatiently, but still bites back with “you’re one to talk.”

He doesn’t reply for a moment, gaze lingering on Soobin. He seems to shrink slightly under his eyes, a little hesitant under Yeosang’s gaze. He doesn’t like that, so he leans down to press a kiss right into the centre of his chest; just beside his nipple.

Yeosang doesn’t even think before he sucks one into his mouth; and Soobin makes an aborted little gasp, the hand he has in Yeosang’s hair tightens painfully, yanking on the roots and sending hot pleasure licking down Yeosang’s spine.

Okay, he likes having his hair pulled. That’s news to him. 

Yeosang thinks his dick twitches at the sound, Soobin’s skin tastes like him; like biting into a freshly peeled orange; and he runs the bud over his tongue a few times to get him shaking. His lips follow down a slow path from his nipple, both pebbling in the air despite how hot the room feels.

His fingers shake slightly, skimming up the sides of Soobin's long legs to reach the button of his jeans. Yeosang glances down, Soobin is clearly painfully hard. Yeosang is not fairing much better, his jeans are uncomfortably tight, underwear clinging to him. It gives him the confidence to flick his eyes back up to meet Soobin’s lidded gaze. He revels in the way Soobin stares at him, like he can’t quite believe what’s happening. 

His hands settle on the waistband; he has to lick over his lips and search for his voice “can I?” 

Soobin groans, throwing a hand over his eyes “fuck, hyung, you’re gonna kill me- of course you can.”

He licks over the soft skin just below Soobin’s navel, there’s a very fiant happy trail starting to regrow there. His fingers fumble with the button of his jeans; they feel numb with anticipation. Soobin doesn’t seem to mind, his fingers petting through Yeosang’s hair. It doesn’t help him focus.

He struggles with getting the zip down too, distracted by Soobin’s long fingers in his hair. Eventually he gets it and hooks fingers in the waistband a bit impatiently and yanks those stupid tight jeans down just enough.

His mind blanks; and he all but freezes at the sight. Blinking a few times to try and process. Soobin looks at him with concern; fingers pausing in his blonde hair. 

“Hyung?” 

“What the fuck, Soobin?” his eyes lift up to meet a worried gaze looking back at him “you’ve been hiding this the entire time?”

Realisation dawns on Soobin’s face and a stupidly cute laugh bursts out his chest “Jesus, you scared me.” 

“I scared you?” Yeosang feels a strange mix of arousal and indignation bubbling through him.

Soobin was huge. Straining against black underwear, a little dark spot blooming at the head. Yeosang feels absolutely breathless, but supposes it’s… proportional to his height. 

His brain lags, and he mutters “That’s never gonna fit in me.”  before he can stop it

Soobin makes a broken little noise, eyes seemingly clouding over at those words “that… that’s the plan?” 

Yeosang glances back up to his eyes; Soobin’s cheeks are gorgeously flushed and his eyes are glassy “if you want.” he says back, nothing short of desperate at this point; breathing hotly against Soobin’s stomach “but you can’t show me this and then not fuck me with it.”

Soobin all but keens; biting down on his bottom lip “fuck, okay; we can- we can definitely do that.” 

All Yeosang can mumble is “good.” before the need really takes hold, his tongue rolls out and he mouths over the still clothed head of Soobin’s cock. The boy himself jolts at the sudden action, hips kicking upward as he whines.

Yeosang’s hands settle on his hips, holding them down on the sofa; thumbs dipping into the band of his underwear. He pauses, waiting for permission. Soobin is already beautifully overwhelmed, all he can do is nod jerkily, looking a bit like a bobblehead. Yeosang is hopelessly fond as he pulls them down; the band catches over the head, and it hits his stomach with a wet slap. 

Yeosang feels a bit dizzy seeing just how far it reached up his own abdomen. Soobin was going to rearrange his guts. The thought makes that slight indignation rise in him, so he leans back down and mouths over his head. “Shit, Yeosang!”

Soobin’s fingers contract where they’d been gently petting his hair until now, he pulls on the ends of his hair so hard it stings. Yeosang’s powerless to the way his eyes roll back at the feeling, sending waves of arousal pouring out of his stomach. 

God, okay, really liked having his hair pulled. 

Yeosang takes him into his mouth, Soobin bites back down into his bottom lip and Yeosang doesn’t drop his gaze as he sinks down his cock. He sucks, hollowing his cheeks as he bobs his head down again. Soobin's whole body shudders in response, hands tightening even more in his hair that it hurts in the best way.

“F-fuck, hyung, you’re gorgeous.” he breathes, never taking his eyes off Yeosang for a second.

It’s dizzying the way he’s watching him, and the sweetened words go right to his core, and Yeosang can’t help the way he grinds against the sofa for even a bit of relief. It’s brief, and the material of his jeans is uncomfortable, damp and cold against the rough material of the sofa, but he’s moaning around Soobin at the feeling. 

At the sound, a grin spreads out over Soobin’s lips like he’s just discovered gold. His fingers pet gently through the end of Yeosang’s hair now, but he can still feel the pleasant crackles of pain down his scalp.

It encourages him to quicken his pace, if nothing else than to wipe the satisfaction off Soobin’s face. So he sinks a bit further until Soobin presses against the back of his throat before bobbing back up, setting a pace of slow strokes. He feels the second Soobin dribbles precome straight down his throat, the taste blooming out, slow and deliberate. 

Soobin’s fingers hold his hair in a vice grip, a slew of moans slipping from his lips, and the slight pain has even more of a fuzziness sinking into his head. He wraps his hand around what he can’t reach and Soobin practically sobs. So beautifully overwhelmed.

As he hollows his cheeks into a particularly hard suck, Soobin’s hips buck; breaking the grip Yeosang has on them. He hits the back of his throat; hands yanking his hair at the same time. Soobin stutters, opening his mouth to apologise, but is cut off by the stifled moan Yeosang lets out instead, his eyes rolling back. 

Soobin’s eyes blow wide at the reaction; and he seems to think it over for a half second before he grins. His fingers slip back into Yeosang’s hair; a bit more gently than before, and he thrusts up experimentally. Yeosang groans again, and the vibrations must do something to Soobin because he’s shivering. He apparently takes the noise as a sign to keep going, thrusting back up into Yeosang’s mouth with more confidence. 

It’s messy and dirty but it just makes Soobin go faster, Yeosang is moaning around him - spit starting to dribble down his chin and on Soobin’s cock, which jumps against his tongue; more pre coating it. Yeosang feels dizzy in the best way possible. The lack of air contributing to it, Soobin’s cock hitting the back of his throat with every thrust. His fingers are desperately clinging to Yeosang’s hair; slews of cute little moans falling from his lips.

Soobin’s voice is shot when he speaks, like he’s the one having his throat used “Fuck, you take it so well.” 

Yeosang shivers, pleasure licking down his spine as he grinds his hips down more on the couch for any bit of relief. The world feels like it’s tilting, gravity losing its hold on him. He tries to suck breath down his nose but the grip on his hair has his head swimming. His hand trails up from Soobin’s stomach, grasping his waist for support. He can feel the way Soobin’s core clenches with every thrust up into his mouth, the muscles twitching below his hand like he was-

“Hyung, oh god- I’m gonna-”

Yeosang pulls back sharply, Soobin lets him; fingers slipping from his hair. He whines as Yeosang squeezes the base of his dick; swerving the orgasm. Soobin shivers, a desperate little sob breaking out his chest as he’s denied it. He’s so hazy behind the eyes Yeosang feels worry pull at his chest.

He sits up, his free hand coming to cup the other’s cheek and make their eyes meet “Soobin, baby, you with me?” 

A jerky nod.

Yeosang frowns “do you want to keep going?” Soobin makes a scandalised little noise and Yeosang is so so fond “I need words.”

“Yeah.” Soobin croaks wetly “sorry, I’m… I’m here…”

Yeosang’s thumb stokes over his cheek bone “you okay?”

Soobin nods, he seems to be coming back into his body slowly; his eyes only a bit glassy “I’m fine. Sorry, it’s just… a bit overwhelming.”

“I know.” Yeosang coos quietly “but it’s just me, yeah?”

Soobin smiles, it’s a small little thing “that’s why it’s overwhelming, it’s you.” 

Yeosang’s chest aches, and it’s been far too long since he kissed him, so he leans down to press their lips together softly. Soobin sighs into the kiss, his arms hooking loosely around Yeosang’s shoulders. Soobin hums happily against his mouth, and Yeosang is stroking over the bare skin of his waist. His lips are softer from all the kissing and Yeosang concentrates on that. He wants to savour every second, remember as much as he can. 

He mourns having to pull away “maybe we should move?” he breathes “I imagine your couch isn’t comfortable when you’re so tall.”

Soobin giggles sweetly below him, raising a teasing eyebrow; definitely back from that fuzzy headspace “oh yeah? Where were you thinking?”

Yeosang pinches his waist, muttering a little “brat.” and watching Soobin’s eyes dilate. He leans down to press one more chaste kiss into Soobin’s lips, an offering. 

“So, my room?” Soobin shivers as Yeosang trails the kisses to his cheek.

Yeosang almost wants to laugh, he knows he’s smiling as he kisses over Soobin’s eyelid before he pulls back “that was the idea, unless you wanted to do this in Beomgyu’s room?”

Soobin makes a disgusted face that has that laugh spilling out Yeosang’s lips. He pulls back, getting up on shaky legs. He feels a bit like a baby deer, his knees almost giving out as gets up.

Soobin’s hand suddenly touches the small of his back, soothing the way he’s uncomfortable; still fully dressed and painfully hard in his jeans. Yeosang grins at him, and starts towards his bedroom. Soobin tries to follow but half trips around the legs of his tugged down trousers. His hand catches Yeosang’s, and they stumble toward his bedroom together. They fall into breathless laughs, the kind that fall out too fast to try and catch. 

They reach the door, and Soobin holds his waist; tugging him close. Yeosang goes without questioning as he’s pressed into the closed door; Soobin leans down to press their lips back together, like the two minutes without kissing him has caused him physical pain. Soobin’s hands push into his shirt, yanking it out his jeans and upward. Yeosang gets the hint, breaking away from the kiss to let him tug it off. He doesn’t really see where Soobin throws it as they’re spilling into his room, unable to part their lips for a second.

Soobin kicks off his jeans; which are caught around his ankles and Yeosang giggles. The hoodie follows a moment later, leaving Soobin naked while Yeosang’s still straining in his jeans. Soobin’s scent envelopes the room; getting stronger as Yeosang is pushed down into his bed. The sheets are soft, but Yeosang can only focus on a gorgeously naked Soobin crawling up the bed to him. 

He brushes their noses together as he meets him, Yeosang’s thighs splaying over his “hi.” Soobin breathes sweetly.

Yeosang is painfully fond “hey, baby.”

Soobin smiles at the nickname, and they pause for a second in the saccharine atmosphere. What still lies unsaid floats between them, but Yeosang is happy in the fact they both knew. They knew what this meant, to both of them.

Soobin’s lips are meeting his again and hands go to the button of Yeosang’s jeans, and that desperation finally rears its head again; crackling through the gentle atmosphere.

“Can I?” Soobin mutters

Yeosang shudders, managing a small nod, and Soobin pulls his underwear and jeans down in one go. Yeosang can’t help but moan as the cold air circles him, his cock bouncing up and hitting his bare stomach.  

Soobin’s warm hand circles it and Yeosang bites down hard into his bottom lip to stop the moan coming out too loud. Soobin’s skin is scorching hot, and after neglecting himself for so long the sheer relief that floods out has Yeosang’s eyes rolling back into his head.

“Let me hear you.” Soobin groans, his spare hand comes up to cup Yeosang’s cheek; all but pulling his lip out from between his teeth. His hand twists on the next upstroke and Yeosang sobs from the relief “so pretty.” 

Soobin sounds so reverent, like he can barely hold in the compliments; his eyes big and watery as he watches Yeosang writhe under the ministrations.

“Soo- fuck Soobin, wait.” he reaches down to snatch his wrist, Soobin looks so cutely confused but halts his movements. Yeosang groans, wrapping his legs around that narrow waist and rolling them over easily. Soobin makes a strangled noise as he’s manhandled down into the sheets; Yeosang sitting himself down in his lap “I won’t last, baby.”

He takes in Soobin’s expression, eyes dilated so wide there’s barely a ring of brown around his pupils; his nails dig into Yeosang’s thighs. He’s panting heavier than before, Yeosang raises an eyebrow at him and gets a groan in response “don’t look at me like that.”

He tries not to laugh “was it the petname or the manhandling?”

“Both.” Soobin whines; Yeosang tries not to coo and doesn’t quite manage it. He runs his hand up, petting into Soobin’s dark hair, he immediately leans into the touch. 

“Are you still okay?” Yeosang breathes, Soobin’s hair is soft against his hand; like silk running through his fingers. 

Soobin nods “yes.”

Yeosang tries not to shiver, trailing his hand out of his hair to cup his cheek “okay… um, lube?”

Soobin seems to get a bit of clarity back in his eyes, his cheeks flushing slightly darker. It’s far too cute for the situation; he gestures to his bedside table. Yeosang smiles, rather self indulgently leaning down to peck his lips before stretching to the side to open the drawer. One of Soobin’s hands settles on his waist to steady him; he digs through what is evidently Soobin’s sock drawer before locating a little bottle tucked near the bottom. 

He settles back on Soobin’s lap; both of them stark naked. His cock sits so close to Soobin’s, and the size difference makes him dizzy. It’s not overly dramatic, but Soobin is clearly bigger; and definitely a good bit longer. Yeosang shivers with anticipation as he uncaps the bottle. Soobin’s warm hands enclose over his suddenly; and he looks up from their laps at last.

Soobin’s cheeks are even darker than before, but he looks so sweetly determined “can… can I?”

Yeosang smiles “you wanna open me up for you?”

Soobin makes a little keen at the words “fuck.. Yes; please hyung.”

Yeosang would need to unpack just how much the younger begging effected him a later date, but right now all he can do is nod and whisper out a little “okay.”

Soobin smiles so sweetly at the word, and Yeosang lets him take the little bottle away. He bites into his bottom lip as he uncaps it and Yeosang can barely think, more concerned with how long it had been since Soobin had kissed him. He gets a noise of surprise when he leans down to join their lips again. Soobin makes a happy noise against his mouth, but sits up slowly; his arm trails around Yeosang’s waist to pull him closer.

Yeosang’s mind blanks as their cocks rub together. Soobin makes a broken little noise too, but doesn’t stop kissing him. He’s distracted enough by how good it feels to gently rock his hips forward that he barely notices the smell of cherries fill the little room; and he makes a mental note to tease Soobin about his sweet scented lube choice later, if he weren't so desperate he would consider dry humping him. 

Soobin pulls away from the kiss, barely a breath away. Yeosang still whines at the distance.

“Are you sure?” Soobin huffs against his lips, warming pink tinted lube on his stupidly long fingers.

Yeosang groans, part of him touched but most of him frustratingly horny. “God, yes, Soobin... hurry up.” 

Soobin has the nerve to chuckle against his lips before he leans back in to kiss him, as if trying to distract him and Yeosang moans against his lips even before he’s circling his rim with slick fingers.

Yeosang thinks his brain starts leaking out of his ears as he starts to push just one finger in, the stretch burns slightly; but has his toes curling as dull pleasure licks down his spine. Soobin’s finger reaches so much deeper than his own can and it makes his head hurt. 

“Are you okay?” he breathes against Yeosang lips, brows furrowed.

“I…” he has to take a sharp inhale “fuck, I’m fine… just; jesus your hands are big.”

Soobin huffs against his lips fondly “can I keep going?”

He knows his nod is jerky, reluctant to stop kissing him “please.”

Soobin gets to work, pulling his finger most of the way out before pushing back in. Yeosang lets off a little aborted breath, accentuated with every movement. Soobin captures his lips again, but he can barely focus on the kiss as he pushes in another finger. More just breathing against his lips, little mewls of pleasure with every move of Soobin’s fingers. The limited space between them feels unbearable; every breath stuttering in Yeosang’s lungs seemed to scrape raw in his chest. He wraps his arms around Soobin, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

“Does it feel good, hyung?” he breathes, and Yeosang wants to scream at that. The gentle submissive tone to his voice has his head spinning wildly.

“So good, baby.” he breathes, starting to push his hips back in time with Soobin’s fingers.

Yeosang thinks he’ll never get used to this, addicted to the feeling Soobin pressed so closely; a dizzying rush that curls beneath his skin like sugary honey. Every little brush of Soobin’s lips is a taste he could never be without, the push of his fingers igniting a fire that burned though his whole body. 

“You're doing so well.” he spits, and Soobin shivers below him, pulling away from his lips leaning down to kiss gently along Yeosang’s collarbones. He goes to make the same remark about not leaving marks as Soobin nips as his skin. But he can’t do much as Soobin is pushing in a third finger and crooking them suddenly. Yeosang can’t hear the noise he makes, but it feels somewhere between a scream and a sob, his entire body seizing as his back arches towards Soobin. 

“Shit!” he wails “there! god; don’t stop.”

Soobin obviously does exactly as he’s told, pushing right back in at the same angle. It has fire settling in his body, and he feels the first tears start to leak out his eyes. Yeosang feels like a mess, his face flushed pink; hands twisting desperately in Soobin’s hair. It's now sticking up from where he keeps fisting it and grabbing when it feels too good to cope. He lets out a little soft ah, ah, ah’s everytime Soobin moves his fingers inside of him.

His whole body feels hot, and the ache of it isn’t subtle, clawing at his stomach and urging him towards the edge. Soobin’s fingers brush against him deliberately with every push back in, like he’s desperate to do a good job. He’s staring up at Yeosang like he hung the moon; eyes big and as he takes in every expression. Yeosang can’t help the way he thrust desperately back into his fingers; the knot in his stomach threatening to snap. He’s dribbling a concerning amount onto Soobin’s stomach; warmth pooling too suddenly.

“Soobin...” he tries, and his voice sounds more like a pathetic little whine, “s-stop-”

Soobin’s fingers halt immediately, his free hand comes up to clutch at Yeosang’s cheek thumb brushing tears from below his eyes.

Huh, when had he started crying?

“Hyung?” he breathes, worry staining his handsome face “What's wrong? Are you okay?”

Yeosang huffs a watery laugh “I’m fine, Soobin-ah; but if you don’t stop this is going to be over way sooner than I want.”

Soobin’s eyes widen; and it’s so cute Yeosang can’t resist pecking his lips. “You’re sure?”

Yeosang nods “as long as you are.” 

Soobin smiles, leaning forward to kiss him chastely as he pulls his fingers out “I’ve been sure for years.” 

By the way Soobin’s own eyes widen, the words must have slipped out before he could stop them. Yeosang hears the catch of his own breath at the insinuation. The air between them seems to thicken further, it's just a second while neither of them speak; but there’s a sort of silent understanding of Soobin’s words. The silence doesn’t feel empty, more like a live current, buzzing between them. Soobin’s eyes meet his and the unspoken feeling stays that way, it feels too fragile for words at the moment. 

They both knew, and that seemed like enough.

Soobin kisses him. His free hand comes up to cradle his jaw, tilting his head to access his mouth. The feelings seem to translate through it, an understanding they could talk about it later. The space around them hums with the weight of it all, charged with sweetness that both scares Yeosang and makes him desperate.

Desperation seems to win, and he finds himself grinding forward against Soobin; who breaks the kiss with a jolted gasp. Their cocks once again sliding together through the mess they’d made on Soobin’s stomach.

“H-how do you want to do this?” Soobin breathes

“Just like this.” Yeosang noses at his cheek; he pushes up onto his shaky knees for a second, spare hand reaching down to line Soobin up with his wet entrance. 

“Are you sure about this?” Soobin breathes into the quiet of the room, pulling Yeosang’s attention up to his face. “We can stop anytime, just tell me.”

And he's sweet, checking in when he's literally inches away from his slick entrance, where he was literally just knuckle deep. Yeosang just lowers himself down; and they both groan into each other’s mouth as the head catches before pushing in the first ring of muscle. 

Yeosang’s back arches as Soobin pushes the head in. He’s hushed sweetly as a little whimper tumbles out. The stretch is much more than his fingers, and there’s a burn mixing with the pleasure. Soobin is kissing along his cheekbone to the corner of his mouth, the same spot he’d licked sauce from earlier; thumb stroking his waist as Yeosang sinks down tortuously. Yeosang keens, his thighs shaking, one hand burying itself in Soobin’s hair as he finally bottoms out. Soobin’s thighs meeting the back of his own. 

The man under him whimpers, desperately trying to hold himself together. He feels so full, it feels like Soobin’s all the way in his stomach and the thought has him shivering.

“Sh-shit, you’re so tight.” Soobin mutters, his knuckles going white where they were gripping his waist; like he’s barely holding it together “are.. are you okay?” Yeosang can’t find his voice for a second, feeling like Soobin’s all the way in his throat; focused only on the overwhelming pressure and heat “hyung?”

He shudders, Soobin’s voice tinted with worry at his lack of response. “y-yeah.” he eventually spits out “you’re just… big. Give me a second to get used to it.”

Soobin just hums, his hand slipping from Yeosang’s waist, over his hip, to press into the small of his back. The heat soothes a bit of the ache, grounding him. 

It takes Yeosang a few moments to settle, and he hates it. Bubbling warmth beneath his skin makes him want to ride Soobin through the mattress now; but his body is not letting him. The few moments Soobin hums in his ear and rubs circles in his back feels like years. It wasn’t so much impatience as longing, to finally have Soobin like this felt like he might wake up any second. The ache of it all made him smile still, pressing a little kiss into Soobin’s hair as it was the closest he could reach.

After a while, he gives an experimental rotation of his hips. Soobin whimpers into his collar bones immediately, and the stretch finally feels good. Good enough for him to finally rise up, until Soobin is just inside; and slam back down. 

“Hyung!” Soobin whines. Yeosang just smiles; settling his hands on the other’s shoulders and pushing him back into the sheets. He feels Soobin fucking twitch inside him at being manhandled. His hair fans out over the pillow as Yeosang sets his hands on Soobin’s pretty waist again;giving it a squeeze as he starts to properly set a pace.  

And it's erratic from the start, he already feels like he’s close to falling apart; and Soobin reaches so fucking deep it feels like he’s buzzing under the skin. The pleasure is somehow relentless and sweet at the same time, a fluttering urgency driving Yeosang’s movements. 

He can hear Soobin moaning under him; so fucking loud an unabashed. He looks like a vision; forehead slick with sweat; eyes wide and looking up at Yeosang like he hung every star in the sky. Yeosang himself is not doing much better, letting out filthy noises, gorgeous little moans and mewls with every rise and fall of his hips. The pleasure is indescribable, it rolls over him in scorching hot waves. Pulsing through his veins. 

Soobin’s hands come up from his thighs to his hips, and Yeosang nearly whites out when he plants his feet on the mattress and thrusts up; his cock nudges straight into his prostate. 

“There!” he all but screams, nails cutting into Soobin’s waist. He feels incoherent as he babbles “fuck, Soobin, please -there!”

He feels desperate with it, but his thighs are starting to ache; and he can’t go as fast as he wants now Soobin has found that spot. It’s blooming in his chest, and he can hear the pitiful whine he lets off.

“Soobin, baby…” he pants; pace slowing “shit, I need you to fuck me… I can’t.”

It’s a bit incoherent; but the younger gets the picture; his hands tighten over Yeosang’s waist and he’s spinning them around. Yeosang’s back has barely met the sheets before Soobin is basically jack-rabbiting back into him.

He screams as he hits that spot dead on every time; his nails raking into the soft skin of Soobin’s back. He tucks his head into Yeosang’s neck, desperately licking at his skin. He seems lucid enough to know he can’t leave marks. All Yeosang can hear is his desperate moans. Yeosang, up until now, has always been quiet in bed, but now he feels drunk on the feeling of having Soobin like this. Moaning with pleasure as he thrusts so hard Yeosang’s slipping up the bed in quick, uneven beats. Like he’s barely aware of it. 

He finally finds his voice “You’re doing so well, baby.” 

Soobin leaks inside him; a desperate sob breaking out his chest as his speed somehow gets faster just at those words. Yeosang finds himself grinning at the reaction; really he should have known Soobin would like praise.

He lays the sweetened words on thick “making me feel so good, so fucking pretty.”

Soobin pulls out of his neck to look at him with watery eyes. The whine he lets out is pitiful, louder than the rest, driving back into Yeosang at the same angle. Like he wants to please him. Yeosang groans at the constant abuse to his prostate. Mind numbing and sickly pleasure. “Praise gets you going, huh, baby?”

“Yeosang-” his voice sounds so beautifully broken. Yeosang can only coo “I’m.. I’m so close.”

“Yeah?” he hums; hand stroking soothingly into Soobin’s hair. Yeosang isn’t much better; the thread threatening to snap; he’s so close he thinks he might pass out before he comes. His hand trails down his stomach, the movement sluggish. He aims to take his cock in his hand, but the feeling of something else stops him.

His eyes snap down and he genuinely nearly does come this time. 

He can see Soobin in his stomach, with every thrust forward a little bump rises right in the pit of his abdomen; beside where his cock is angry red and dribbling uselessly.

“Oh my god.” he whines, Soobin looks at him concerned for a second. All Yeosang can bring himself to do is grab the other’s hand, Soobin’s thrusts slow slightly but he lets himself be moved easily. 

Yeosang presses his hand down onto his abdomen, and Soobin groans as he realises why “fucking me so well, I can feel it.” 

“Oh god.” Soobin sobs, presses his hand down more, snapping his hips at the same time “holy shit, hyung-” 

His pace becomes brutal, as if spurred on by the realisation. Yeosang also feels like he’s about to explode, the blood in his veins like a live wire. 

“Hyung.” Soobin’s voice is so wet and weak “can I… please; can I come?”

Yeosang groans at the realisation he’d been waiting for permission “yes, did so well -shit. Come for me, baby.”

Soobin all but sobs; burying his head into Yeosang’s neck again as his pace becomes erratic; chasing his high. Yeosang hooks his ankles behind his back; pulling Soobin as deep as he can go. The other’s hand circles around Yeosang’s cock; which until now had still been dribbling uselessly into his stomach. He practically screams at the first stroke; head thrown back as he falls apart completely, come shooting up his bare stomach, spurting over both their skin. Air rushing from his lungs as stars burst behind his eyes. The feeling is mind numbing, relief like he was being completely unravelled. The warm feeling of Soobin’s body above him is like reprieve. The world outside could press in, but here under Soobin, in that closeness; he’s safe. His tall body covers him like a security blanket.

It takes him a while to come back down to earth, blinking wet tears he didn’t know had been falling from his eyes. Soobin comes into focus, and he’s looking down at him like he’s the eighth wonder of the world. Yeosang’s breathless for a second, the sheer affection behind his eyes rendering him still. 

He shifts slightly, and Soobin hisses, and only then does he realise the other is still inside him and hard. 

“It’s okay.” he breathes, the hand from Soobin’s hair trailing forward to cup his cheek “keep going, I’m fine.” 

Soobin groans “are you sure?”

“Very.” he mutters and captures his lips desperately. 

Soobin thrusts forward and Yeosang’s body zings with overstimulation, it borders on painful; but his treacherous cock gives an interested twitch. However, it’s barely two thrusts later that he’s coming undone. His whole body shudders with the force of it; Yeosang feels that warmth fill him and thinks he’s smiling with dopey satisfaction.

Soobin goes limp against him, and he finds himself chuckling as he’s pressed into the mattress. Soobin felt like a human, weighted blanket on top of him. Boneless and twitching slightly in the aftermath of his orgasm. 

Yeosang’s fingers find his damp hair, the other around his shoulder as he hooks his chin over it. Soobin hums, chest vibrating against his own as he pets through the sweaty ends of his hair. Their bodies barely an atom apart, every rise and fall of Soobin’s chest sent tiny sparks up his spine. But he feels so satiated, relief of it all tangible. He doesn’t let himself think too much, let the doubt creep in. The way Soobin is plastered to him seems to speak volumes. 

Eventually though, it’s a little uncomfortable; and he shifts slightly - a groan slipping out. Soobin seems to come back to himself all at once, like he’s just realised he’s both still inside and crushing Yeosang into the bed.

“Sorry.” Soobin emerges from his hiding place in Yeosang’s neck.

He snorts, Soobin’s dark hair sticking up at awkward angles “it’s fine.”

He shudders as Soobin pulls out slowly, the empty feeling rather unwelcome. Come immediately starts dribbling out and he catches Soobin watching it with a dark expression. He goes to kick him but a dull ache flares up his spine.

“Don’t get any ideas.” Yeosang shoots “I’m exhausted.”

Soobin laughs. The sound is so saccharine and sweet; it curls around Yeosang’s ribs and warms his chest.

“I would never.” he grins, his thumb gently stroking over Yeosang’s calf as he sits up properly “do you want to shower?” 

Yeosang is aware he’s lying in a pool of sweat, lube and come. Soobin’s sheets are quite possibly beyond saving. He feels a little gross as he continues to leak down his thighs too.

“Please,” he hums. Soobin smiles; and holds a hand out to help him to his feet. 

Yeosang’s legs feel like jelly, and as soon as he’s vertical it’s like the floodgates open more. Soobin’s spend leaks down his thighs and he whines. The man in question shushes him softly, their fingers interlink like it’s second nature; and he tugs him across the hall into the bathroom. 

Soobin only lets go of his hand to lean into the shower and turn it on. Yeosang leans against the counter, catching his reflection for the first time. He looks wrecked, and by some miracle there’s not an obvious mark on him past some red finger prints starting around his thighs and hips. His hair looks like birds nest; blonde stands sticking everywhere. But his eyes are soft, and he can see a love sick smile on his own lips.

“Hyung?” Soobin breathes, and Yeosang glances up to meet his eyes in the reflection. He stands behind him, still gorgeously naked. His hand comes to rest on Yeosang’s hip; his lips finding the back of his head like it’s second nature “shower’s ready.”

Yeosang hums, and lets himself be gently guided under the spray. It’s immediately soothing; how water trailing down his aching and spent muscles. Soobin stands at the door, hovering slightly like he’s unsure if he’s crossing an invisible line.

“Get in.” Yeosang breathes. Considering all they just did, there wasn’t really a line to cross. Soobin grins at the permission; and plasters himself to Yeosang’s chest the second he’s under the warm water. He’s only half under, folding himself comfortably into Yeosang’s embrace. He opens his eyes to see water splash into his hair, soaking down half of it. He scratches into those dark strands and Soobin immediately goes boneless against him, practically purring in the back of his throat.

“Let me wash your hair?” Yeosang breaks the tranquil quiet, Soobin just nods sleepily against his shoulder but it takes him a moment to actually move. He turns around slowly, pressing his whole back against Yeosang. There’s that few inch height difference that allows him to press his lips to the nape of Soobin’s neck. He feels the full body shudder that it causes, the man’s breath hitching quietly as he mouths over the little bump at the top of his spine.

“Hyung…” he mutters, Yeosang ignores it; leaning around him to pick up shampoo. It’s a little less fancy than the stuff he uses, but he supposes for one day. It smells a bit too sweet for him, but it’s almost perfect for the man opposite, who makes a happy little noise as the liquid is lathered into his hair. He leans back into Yeosang’s hands as they scratch over his scalp, his hair always feels like silk, especially right now. 

“Close your eyes.” he says, right into the shell of Soobin’s ear and enjoys the sweet blush over them. The man is flushed down to his shoulders, not just from the warmth of the water. His head tilts back into the water, washing away the lather. Yeosang makes sure every sud is free of his hair before gently pushing him out by the hips again.

Immediately, Soobin leans back against him once more, there’s a dopey little smile on his face. Yeosang kisses his shoulder again, hands securely around his unfairly small waist. The atmosphere is so… serene. The only sound being the rushing water, Soobin’s skin smells like that sweet shampoo - damp and soft under his lips.

“Let me wash your hair too.” Soobin breathes. Yeosang can only nod, allowing Soobin to lather the sweet smelling liquid into his hair. He briefly mourns his full routine but disappears at the feeling of Soobin scratching over his scalp. The quiet between them is comforting, no longer something to fill; rather to rest inside.

Soobin kisses his temple sweetly as the shampoo is rushing out of his hair, lips trailing down to the birthmark by his eye. He mumbles something that sounds like ‘so pretty’ into Yeosang’s skin; but he doesn’t quite catch it. 

“Soobin-ah.” he breathes, hand coming to touch his hip. The younger pulls back, giving him a dreamy hum to signal him to continue “can I, um, can I have a little privacy?”

Soobin frowns “o-oh… sure.”

Yeosang smiles, shaking his head quickly to try and stop Soobin’s clear train of thought “I just need to…” he sighs, unknowing how to word it except for the blunt truth “baby, your come is still leaking out of me. I just need a minute.”

“Oh.” Soobin’s cheeks flush a cute pink, like he wasn’t the one who desperately pumped it there not 30 minutes ago “I could…”

“No.” Yeosang groans “I cannot go another round.”

Soobin pouts “I wouldn’t necessarily want-”

Yeosang shakes his head “no, but I would if you get those fingers near me. Please, just 5 minutes.”

Soobin smiles, giving him a little nod as he turns to get out the shower “I’ll get some clothes for you.”

Yeosang’s chest swells at that, and he rather self-indulgently watches Soobin step out the shower; loosely wrapping a towel around his waist and as he leaves. He lets out a long breath as the door shuts softly behind him.

He tries to clean as quickly as possible, biting down a whine of overstimulation as he has to finger the last of it out of himself. His traitor cock gives an interested twitch but he wills it away by blasting the shower to cold before getting out. He briefly curses himself for not following Yunho’s, albeit teasing, advice to use protection. 

Soobin has left him a warm towel, folded on the counter and he smiles. He dries quickly, finding himself a bit desperate to get back to the other. The distance between them feels a bit unbearable, despite it being just across the hall. He pads out, and slips back into Soobin’s bedroom. The younger has changed; wearing pajama bottoms and a new hoodie. He’s also changed the sheets, currently shoving the soiled ones into the hamper in the corner of his room. There’s a new pair of boxers and Soobin’s hoodie from earlier sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hey.” Soobin’s gentle voice brings him back.

He can’t help his smile widening; reaching for the soft clean clothes “thank you.” 

“No problem.” Soobin sits on the edge of the bed, his eyes not drifting from Yeosang’s. 

The atmosphere still feels so comfortable and Yeosang likes how domestic it is. He raises his eyebrow as Soobin just watches him as he goes to put the clothes on.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before, hyung.” he grins.

Yeosang snorts, gently chastising a small “brat.” but slipping into the clothes anyway; letting Soobin all but ogle him as he changes. 

The hoodie smells so much like him, cologne clinging to the material. Yeosang lifts the hem to his nose, letting that sunshine citrus smell wash over him.

“You know, the real thing is right here.” Soobin breathes, sitting crosslegged in his bed now. Yeosang shoots him an annoyed look; but at the trepidation clear on Soobin’s face it quickly morphs to concern. He somehow looks small where he sits, fiddling with his fingers. Yeosang goes to open his mouth to ask what’s wrong when Soobin beats him to it “you can stay, if you want.”

Yeosang bites down a coo, his whole face softening into a smile “I’d like that. If you want me too.”

Soobin nods “I do.” 

Yeosang takes that as the invitation to crawl into the bed. Soobin shuffles over, his back against the wall to make space for him. Yeosang doesn’t let him get too far; pulling him down into his chest. The boy goes so easily, pliant as he curls up against Yeosang’s side. Lit only by the bedside lamp, their bodies a whisper apart. Pressed close but Yeosang wishes they could somehow get even closer, Soobin’s breath is easy right by his ear. 

He wants to say everything they haven’t, the ache in his chest of what is only implied. But staying here in the quiet warmth seems enough, and god is he exhausted. His whole body aches; but the bed feels more comfortable than it ever has. Like he could sink right through it.

Soobin seems to sense his thoughts, the way he clings to consciousness despite sleep threatening to pull him under. He breathes the words into Yeosang’s chest “Go to sleep, hyung, we can talk in the morning.” 

He hums “goodnight, Soobinie”

 /) /)

( • ༝•)

Soobin sleeps better than he thinks he has in years. A dreamless, deep thing that seems to not want to let go of him in the morning. It takes him a long time to fully wake up, like unconsciousness curls at his ankles. The bed is still so warm as his eyes flutter open. He blinks slowly, the morning light soft on his eyelids. He squints against it, it’s dull, clearly early morning, he’d forgotten to close his shades last night after everything. His body feels weightless, muscles looser than they had been in years. 

He’s so boneless it takes him stretching his hand out and meeting cold sheets to realise Yeosang isn’t there.

He sits up quickly, a small flare of panic racing up his spine. The sheets are thrown back on the other side of the bed, but the other boy is nowhere to be seen. Soobin doesn’t want to immediately start panicking; but jumps all the same as there is a loud crash in the direction of the kitchen. The noise seems to give him a bit of clarity, and he notices Yeosang’s jeans and shirt sitting over the back of his desk. He lets out a small breath of relief; shuffling out the bed.

He finds Yeosang in the kitchen, hastily picking up pieces of broken china. The elder startles as he hears him enter, giving a sheepish smile.

“I was just trying to make coffee.” he says as a way of explaining, and Soobin recognises the broken china as one of their plain mugs now in pieces. 

“And decimating my kitchen is included in that?” he grins, unable to stop his voice being horribly fond.

Yeosang winces, “I’m sorry.”

Soobin huffs a little laugh, stepping around him to grab a brush out for their cabinet “it’s fine, hyung, it’s just a mug. I’m pretty sure it’s Beomgyu’s anyway.”

Yeosang shoots him a horrified look as he sweeps up the small shards littering the floor “I’ll buy him a new one.” he mumbles; pout taking over his lips. And Soobin is only so strong, he can’t help but lean down. Yeosang’s eyes widen at the chaste kiss pressed to his lips to dissolve the pout. 

“You’re cute.” he chuckles, pulling away to drop the dust into the trash. 

“I’m not cute.” Yeosang mutters from behind him, rather cutely. He doesn’t bite back, putting away the brush instead

“How about I make the coffee?” Soobin turns back to him; his hand falls to Yeosang’s waist so easily. Like it belongs there.

Yeosang graces him with a small smile, and it just feels so easy “thank you.”

Soobin makes them coffee, and they talk. They talk easily like there’s not an elephant in the room. Like Yeosang isn’t standing in Soobin’s hoodie and boxers, his hair fluffy from not blow drying it after their shared shower. Like Soobin doesn’t watch his every move with thinly veiled affection. 

It’s easy, in a way that almost feels dangerous. 

In the way that Soobin knows they need to talk. Discuss what happened. Where they go from here. But it would mean shattering the bubble they’re in and for now, the comfort outweighs the longing. There are things neither of them have said, lying in his ribs; but it didn’t ache yet. So he waits as they drink their coffee; standing too closely leaning against his kitchen counter. Yeosang smells like his shampoo. 

Yeosang puts down his empty mug; and the movement startles Soobin back to the problem at hand.

“Hyung.” he breathes, and Yeosang looks up at him with those big eyes. Pretty, chocolate brown; the rosey tint of his birthmark making the colour stand out. He was so gorgeous, Soobin found himself a bit breathless, words failing him “I was thinking…”

Yeosang smiles, his hand touches Soobin’s and it’s comforting. Like he knows. “Dangerous territory.” he jokes, and Soobin’s whole body relaxes with his laugh. 

“I was thinking that, um, well I'll get back from tour in a couple weeks. I know your comeback starts quite soon after but… well, maybe when I’m back we can get dinner? Just the two of us?”

Yeosang’s smile grows as his fingers slide properly into his. His hand is warm, and Soobin squeezes his fingers, hoping to get his point across. 

“Choi Soobin.” he breathes “are you asking me on a date?”

His whole chest stutters, but Yeosang’s smile is fond; just a bit teasing. Soobin’s painfully gone for him. 

“Yes.” he breathes “I’m asking you out. About 10 years too late but I’m doing it.”

Yeosang shakes his head “it’s not too late.” he steps closer to Soobin; their fingers interlocking. Soobin’s eyes flicker down to his peach tinted lips, just for a second “yes. I would like that.”

Soobin’s shoulders melt with relief “really?”

Yeosang huffs a laugh “yes, really, Soobin-ah.”

Soobin knows he grins; a bit too wide and totally lovestruck. Yeosang chuckles at him, the hand that’s not in Soobin’s comes up to the nape of his neck; giving him a gentle tug downward. Soobin gets the hint; pressing his lips into Yeosang’s.

Much to his own dismay, Yeosang lets go of his hand in favour of loosely wrapping his arms around Soobin’s shoulders. Now with two free hands, he curls them around Yeosang’s hips; gently maneuvering him back until he hits the counter. 

Soobin doesn’t mean for the kiss to turn filthy, but it quickly does. He’s only so strong and Yeosang’s hand pets into his hair, tilting his head to get better access to his mouth.

“Baby…” Yeosang huffs against his lips, pulling back just an inch. His eyes have gone a bit glassy, and if that name had made Soobin feral the night before; right now it has arousal flaring up his spine again.

He just groans in response, his hands sliding to his thighs, gripping the flesh and yanking him up. Yeosang gasps, wrapping his legs around Soobin’s narrow waist as he’s unceremoniously dumped down on top of the counter - the last of his coffee long forgotten. 

Soobin’s a bit distracted by squeezing the soft flesh on Yeosang’s inner thighs to hear the door code being punched in. Yeosang, however, tears himself away from the kiss just in time. It doesn’t help much, but at least Soobin doesn’t have his tongue in his mouth when Beomgyu stumbles in. Their dorm is, unfortunately, open plan; the kitchen leading directly into the living room. 

Soobin watches as Beomgyu’s brain ticks for two seconds, clearly taking in where Soobin has Yeosang all but pressed into the counter; the older’s legs wrapped around his waist. The fact Yeosang is head to toe in his clothes. He just sighs, pushing his keys into his pocket.

“Hi, Yeosang-hyung.” he says. 

Soobin slowly realises the gorgeous boy wrapped around him is only wearing his boxers and he tries to angle the pretty sight away. Definitely for him only. 

“What do you want?” Soobin sighs.

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow “I live here?” at Soobin’s death stare he sighs “I was just getting my toothbrush, I was gonna spend another night at the other dorm. Now I see why Yeonjun-hyung was so insistent I let you know.” 

Soobin blinks, he’s not even glanced at his phone this morning.

“I’ll be gone so quick you’ll never know I was here and you can get back too…” he smirks at Soobin, who considers briefly lobbing his coffee mug at him “whatever you were doing.” 

Beomgyu disappears into the bathroom and Soobin would have started cursing him out if Yeosang hadn’t groaned, burying himself in Soobin’s neck and pulling him closer by his thighs. 

“That was humiliating.” Yeosang whines. Soobin tilts his head, pressing a kiss to the side of his head “do you think he’ll tell Yeonjun what he saw?”

Soobin grimaces “he’s probably already texted him.”

Yeosang groans “Wooyoung’s gonna know within the hour. I’m never living this down.”

Soobin’s thumb strokes across his thigh “sweetheart, you didn’t come home last night; he definitely already knows.” Yeosang makes a noise into his neck, tightening his hold on Soobin “we can face their wrath together?”

Yeosang pulls out from his hiding spot, and Soobin presses another kiss into his cheek; earning a little laugh “I suppose it’ll be easier with you there.”

Soobin smiles, taking his chances that Beomgyu will take a minute to lean forward and kiss him again. It’s sweet, slower. Like they have all the time in the world. Soobin thinks they do. They finally do. 

Yeosang pulls away “do you have schedule today?” he breathes against Soobin’s lips.

He shakes his head “we have a break before tour, why?”

Yeosang shooks him a look “well, neither do I.”

It clicks, and Soobin is grinning. His grip on Yeosang’s legs tightens and he’s lifting him. The elder lets off a noise of shock; ankles locking at the base of his spine as Soobin all but sprints back to his room with him in his arms. They pass a mildly disgusted looking Beomgyu but Soobin is too busy laughing into Yeosang’s mouth and kicking the door shut behind them to care.