Chapter Text
THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS: A NEW WISH
DEVELOPED BY: Daniel Abramovici, Ashleigh Crystal Hairston, Lindsay Katai, and Dave Stone.
“Context Needed, Please!”
Written by: “Petsohp”
OPENING SEQUENCE: EXTERIOR SHOT OF DIMMADELPHIA ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - MORNING
HAZEL (V.O)
Soo…
CUT TO INTERIOR: HAZEL’S CLASSROOM.
THE KIDS HAVE GONE WILD.
HAZEL LOOKS around the classroom, wild and buggy eyed.
HAZEL
(mediative)
I know it’s been exactly 15 minutes, but I don’t think we should be *this* disruptive in school, you know?
JASMINE walks up to HAZEL, sloppy eating a sandwich.
JASMINE
(mouth full with food)
Aw come on, Hazel, it’s basically a free period!
WINN
(from the top of a big makeshift ramp)
Has somebody shut the door yet? I need it closed to bounce off from it.
DEV
(clapping)
Au pairs!
The AU PAIRS fly to lock the entrance.
WINN
Alright! I can do my 99 Throttle Trick now!
The KIDS cheer for WINN.
WINN
(breathes in, and exhales)
Okay folks, after countless days, hours, weeks, months, of sweat, blood and tears, I’m gonna do it.
In the BACKGROUND, there's a sound of a lock pick. None of the KIDS tune into it.
WINN (CONTINUOUS)
(pumping themselves up)
Nonstop, 99, 360 degree turns-
The DOOR SLAMS opens. All the KIDS turn wide eyed with FEAR towards it.
BLONDE ADULT
(to himself)
Wow, I really thought the city’s school buildings would be better. Another win for our state’s education system.
The BLONDE ADULT surveys the classroom.
BLONDE ADULT
Wait, are you trying to do the 360, 99 challenge?
WINN
(nervous)
Uh…yes?
BLONDE ADULT
That’s so cool!
WINN
Huh.
BLONDE ADULT
But you should really do that during lunch break, and preferably in locations where your school director is not gonna punish you for it.
THE KIDS
(in agreement)
HAZEL
So..I’m assuming you are our substitute for the week?
BLONDE ADULT
Ah, that’s right!
WANDA (O.S)
Wait, is that…?
BLONDE ADULT
Sorry for being late kids, I really thought the DMV wasn’t gonna be that busy on a Monday morning.
COSMO (O.S)
But the DMV is *always* busy.
WANDA shushes COSMO.
WANDA (O.S)
Listen!
BLONDE ADULT
(rummaging around Mr. Guzman’s desk)
Anyone of you guys have a copy of the schedule? I printed one while waiting at the DMV, and I swear to you kids, I accidentally dropped it into the sewers since someone decided to run over a yellow light.
JASMINE
That doesn’t sound real.
BLONDE ADULT
(sighing)
Swear it on my trailer, kid.
COSMO (O.S)
Hold on. Bad luck that doesn’t sound real?
HAZEL opens the inside of her desk.
HAZEL
(whispering)
You guys okay down there?
COSMO and WANDA POOF quickly as classroom utensils on top of HAZEL’s desk.
BLONDE ADULT
You guys can call me Mr –
COSMO and WANDA (CONT’D)
CHESTER!?
CHESTER
Yeah. Wait, who already looked me up on the internet?
COSMO and WANDA POOF OUT in a PANIC bubble. HAZEL tries to look oblivious, tweeding her thumbs.
INT. DIMMADELPHIA ELEMENTARY SCHOOL’S HALLWAYS
BELL RINGS; CLASS IS DISMISSED.
HAZEL, JASMINE and WINN walk out together. WINN takes out their phone.
JASMINE
I think the fact that he’s that good at math balances the fact that he has no idea about geography.
HAZEL
(pensive)
Well, he is only gonna cover the week. But you’re also right in the aspect that I feel he isn’t gonna completely waste our time. Remember the lady that made us do yoga? She didn’t even know yoga herself!
WINN
(amazed)
He’s doing the thing!
JASMINE and HAZEL
What thing?
WINN flips over their phone.
WINN
(excited)
The kickflip 540!
JASMINE and HAZEL take a look at WINN’S phone for context.
JASMINE
Ooh, he’s really flying! Especially for someone his age!
CHESTER
(to himself)
I’m barely 35…
CHESTER looks around the classroom. He is REMEMBERING when he was the kid’s age, sitting in similar desks. Now, he is the Teacher.
CHESTER
(sighing)
Jesus, time does pass you by before you know it, huh? At least they don’t fear me.
CHESTER pauses. He REALIZES the ADULTS around them really let Mr. Crocker be a teacher for *that* long.
HAZEL looks around the hallway, checking if she’s alone with only JASMINE and WINN. HAZEL looks down to the COSMO and WANDA pins on her shirt.
HAZEL
Soo… a previous fairygod kid?
COSMO and WANDA look at each other.
COSMO
Adjacent…something.
HAZEL
(sensing that WANDA agrees with COSMO)
…Huh. Well. Now I’m curious.
JASMINE
Hazel, are you coming?
CHESTER phone rings. He walks out of camera view.
CHESTER (O.S)
Hey, thanks for covering for me.
Hazel
(towards JASMINE and WINN)
Actually, I feel I’m gonna take a rain check today.
JASMINE and WINN say their goodbyes.
When they are out of view, HAZEL starts creeping inside the classroom.
CHESTER
No, it’s fine AJ, really. Look, Dad was always there for me unlike…you know.
COSMO and WANDA
(disgusted)
Blergh.
CHESTER (CONT’D)
Yeah.
CHESTER
Wait.
HAZEL PANICS, and dives into the desk.
HAZEL
(whispering)
Behave!
CHESTER (O.S)
My bad, kids in the hallway talking loudly…
HAZEL tentatively peaks her eyes out of her hiding spot.
CHESTER (CONT’D)
Seriously, I like living in the trailer! I’m used to it and it keeps me close.
CHESTER SIGHS.
CHESTER
Look, I’m serious. You’re not the first to try to convince me you know…
HAZEL snaps back into her hiding spot. She can FEEL she just learned something she shouldn’t have known.
COSMO
(sadly)
…He still lives in that trailer?
HAZEL
(whispering)
What? Wait.
HAZEL hastily runs out of the classroom.
INTERIOR: UTILITY CLOSET
HAZEL TURNS ON the LIGHTS.
COSMO and WANDA POOF into their regular Fairy Self.
HAZEL
(pensive)
So…when he mentions living in a trailer, is it like. Those cool trailers that look closer to music tour buses…
COSMO and WANDA sadly move their heads in ‘No’.
HAZEL
Oh.
TWO sad, sad, BEATS.
HAZEL
(upbeat)
Well then, it seems like the wish for the day has been declared!
COSMO and WANDA swiftly take their wands out.
COSMO and WANDA
(smiling)
Yeah?!
Hazel
(grinning)
Cosmo, Wanda, I WISH Mr. Chester can move out of his ugly trailer!
COSMO and WANDA
As you Wish!
END OF ACT I