Archive of Our Own ^beta

Piper was not scared of Clarisse.

Piper's learned a lot about herself the past few months. She feels more confident in herself than she's ever been before, and she knows what she can handle—and a girl a couple years older than her with a reputation like that isn't something that Piper is scared of.

However, Piper is nervous about her plan.

Piper knows confrontation. She's learned it with every popular girl at every school. She learned it with paparazzi at home. She's learned it with the goddess of snow herself. She knows what it's like to confront the mean girl about how she's acting and Piper knows how to take it.

Clarisse is visiting on spring break from college. Piper vaguely remembers her from the counselor meeting after her, Jason, and Leo came back from their quest. Apparently she takes over the mantle of counselor of the Ares cabin when she's here for the summer and breaks from school. It seems like Chiron isn’t too picky about the counselor position unless the kids in the cabin are picky. Silena couldn’t imagine trying to share the position with Drew with how she acted when Piper arrived to camp.

Clarisse is only here for a week, and Piper needs to talk to her before she leaves, and Piper's sure it will take more than one conversation to get the information out of her.

Clarisse is sitting on the steps to the porch of the Big House. Piper observes her for a moment on her way up. Her hair is short and choppy, not much unlike Piper's. She has a red bandana tied around her neck with the knot on her chest. When Piper walked up to her, Clarisse was taking a drink out of her water bottle, looking unnecessarily cool.

Piper didn't know if Clarisse knew for sure who she was, but she probably had a good idea because of how Piper knows the gossip train runs through camp and the fact Piper started a coup to get the counselor position of the Aphrodite cabin.

Piper put her fist on her hip, settling in front of Clarisse. "I want you to tell me about her."

"Her who?"

"Silena."

Clarisse's stare hardened the minute Piper said her late sister's name.

"I want to know about her."

Clarisse looked Piper up and down with scrutinizing eyes. The sun is setting and the way the golden rays of sunlight hit her face makes her blue eyes look almost electric. “Ask anyone else.”

"I already have." Piper tells her. "Or they told me. I remind them so much of her. I act like her. I fight like her. If I have to live in her memory, I want to know who she was and you knew her best."

"According to who?"

"Lacy. Sherman. Annabeth. Will." All people Piper has spoken to already and never got good answers out of. Maybe not bad answers, but nothing that really satisfied her curiosity. "I want to know who my sister was."

Clarisse closes the cap of her water bottle with a harsh snap, setting it on the step next to her.

"Okay, McLean," so Clarisse did know her, "Meet me in the arena tomorrow. We'll duke it out, and I might answer some of your questions."

Clarisse stood, grabbing her water and pushing past Piper, who stood her ground and didn't let herself get shoved by Clarisse pushing into her.

The first conversation was easy enough. Now Piper has to do the rest of it.

✿

Piper brushed the mane of the pegasus in front of her. She was only using her fingers to rake through the coarse hair— more petting than detangling. Her fingers would sometimes catch and she would get the large tangle out of its hair. She's on her own, randomly. There's not a lot of time where she's by herself, especially since she decided to be a counselor. 

Camp Half-Blood is still weird, with growing pains. Even if she’s had a quest under her belt, Piper still tried to get used to camp like she had to get used to every new school she’s been to. Piper's still learning her way around. She was easily able to tell who the mean girl was, but there weren't a lot of other cliques. People had friends, sure, but most everyone got along well. It’s not as clear cut as every other school Piper had attended. 

Piper was introduced to everything at the wrong time— she came in hot, arguing with her sister, and staking claim over a cabin she barely knows, in a camp she barely understands. 

“You like the pegasi?” 

Piper jumped, looking behind her to see another camper. He’s older than her, by a few years. She didn’t recognize him immediately, but he was one of the counselors; she knew his face from the meetings at the Big House. He had blonde hair, long in the front that hung in front of his eyes, which Piper almost thought was a true grey color, like a thunderstorm.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” He apologized, stepping forward with a brush. “I just thought you might like a comb.”

“It’s okay,” Piper hesitantly took the comb from him. “I’m sorry, what’s your name again?”

“Malcolm,” He smiled, small and a little crooked, “I’m in Cabin 6— the Athena cabin.”

“Thanks,” Piper started brushing the pegasus’s mane, the comb going through its mane easier than her fingers. “I’m still trying to get to know everybody here.”

“It’ll take more than a month or so to learn everyone’s names, I get it.” He put a hand on the pegasus’s back, petting down its spine, “I asked if you like the pegasi.”

“They’re fine." Piper shrugged. She spent more time with horses than probably the average person, due to her Dad and the rich girls and ponies stereotype. She loved animals, but she didn't love horses like some other girls, "I don’t love them, but I don’t hate them. Why?”

“I take care of the pegasi now, but I don’t really love it either,” He paused. “The person who was in charge of the stables before me was a child of Aphrodite. I was hoping it might be a genetic trait.”

A child of Aphrodite? Piper had her suspicions, “Silena?”

Malcolm nodded, a little sad, “So you’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah,” Piper can never figure out what her older sister was like, considering Lacy's reverence and Drew’s vitriol. 

“This pegasus, his name is Erigeron,” Piper pet its grey fur, a beautiful true grey, not too dark but not too light, with a white mane of hair, “It’s a type of daisy. All the pegasi raised here are named after things in nature.”

Piper didn't say anything. She's learned from her time around that sometimes staying quiet means that the other person will say more. It happened a lot when the other campers were remembering Silena.

“Erigeron’s favorite person was Silena. He loved her so much, and she loved him probably even more.” Malcolm patted the pegasus's neck, “He’s been upset since she died. I can’t really do much other than take care of him.”

“And you were hoping I'd take up the mantle?” Piper asks him, unable to think of anything else to say.

Silena is almost inescapable. Everywhere Piper's reminded of Silena Beauregard, who was a beautiful, complicated girl who died like a hero after betraying camp and causing her boyfriend to die in a battle. Piper wished she could talk to herself, but she can’t. Piper can’t even escape her shadow. 

Malcolm must see a look on Piper's face, so he shakes his head with a small smile. "Yeah, I was just getting my hopes up. Don't worry about it."

“She really loved the stables, huh?”

Malcolm shrugged, “We all thought so. She loved the animals, at least.”

Erigeron neighed, and now knowing about him, Piper thought his neigh sounded a little sad. Piper loved animals too. What are all the things Piper and Silena have in common? What parts of her sister will Piper never know about because she isn't here? 

Piper leaned forward, putting her forehead on Erigeron’s, pressing them together, wanting to give that little bit of comfort on behalf of someone Piper carries for no other reason other than they share a godly parent. She doesn't know if it means anything to the animal in front of her, but she does her best anyway.

✿

Piper showed up in the arena after breakfast. She has had her own classes here, all of them taught by Clarisse's brother, Sherman, who was the counselor for Cabin 5 the rest of the year. Piper's not afraid to fight in the arena like some of her siblings. She's not afraid to be strong, and she's learned that she needs to know how to fight, especially if she's one the seven in this great prophecy. Piper grew up scrappy and is always ready to go back to her roots.

Clarisse is already there. She looks similar to how she did yesterday. Her camp shirt was tight around her arms and chest, but hung looser around her waist— the issue of any person who had bulky upper body muscles. Her bandana was tied around her wrist and Piper could see all the beads Clarisse had around her leather necklace, representing every summer she's spent at camp. Piper couldn't count them all as she walked up but it was more than the empty necklace around her neck.

Piper tried to look more intimidating than she was as Clarisse caught her eye.

“Tell me," Clarisse says, instead of greeting her. "When you were on your quest and you ran into Greeks, what weapon did they fight with?”

She thought about the children of Boread, and then Midas's gold mansion in Nebraska. “Swords.”

Clarisse pulled a sword from her belt. She pointed it at Piper for a moment before steadying it for a sparring session. "Exactly what I thought. McClean, you're going to spar with me. You get one over on me, I might answer your questions."

Piper has been fighting with other campers for a few months now, and not to mention all she learned on her quest. She doesn't know Clarisse well, but she can get an idea from how her brothers talk about her. She thought she may be able to get a few licks in, but she didn't know if she would win any matches.

Piper pulled her knife out of its leather hilt and held it out, putting her left arm up to aid in the defense. “Bring it on.”

Clarisse doesn’t hold back. She fights well, and Piper finds herself barely able to keep up with her. Clarisse talks through everything, probably from years of teaching the younger campers about fighting. She mentions when Piper's grip gets too weak, or when she opens herself up too much on one side. She's a good teacher, doesn't try to demean Piper, or tell her everything she's doing wrong.

At one point, Piper does manage to nick the outside of Clarisse's wrist, the one not covered by her bandana. The slice isn't very long, or very deep, but enough to immediately turn a bright red. Clarisse hissed, but she had a smile on her face. For a moment, Piper was scared that Clarisse might be a masochist, but she laughed and shouted, "There you go!"

She lowered her sword. Piper lowered her knife.

"Let's take a break."

The smile still unnerved Piper, but she followed Clarisse to the water cooler.

Clarisse drank from her water bottle, but Piper didn't have one so she grabbed the paper cones next to the water cooler and got a drink from the spout.

"Give me a question."

"What?"

"You want to know about Silena." Silena. Right. The reason Piper came out here. She got so caught up in fighting she almost forgot. "Ask me a question."

What does Piper already know? Silena was the counselor of the Aphrodite cabin who died in the war before her, Jason, and Leo arrived at camp. She betrayed camp, and that's part of the reason Drew hates her (the other part, Piper's convinced, is that Drew has a hard time liking anyone). The rest of camp is divided between remembering her as who she was before they found out, or understanding how she hurt them without them knowing.

What could Clarisse tell her that no one else could? Other people talk about her kindness, or her outgoing nature, the way she was a natural leader at camp, someone who the other kids looked up to.

Piper would need to write her questions for Clarisse down. She needed to remember them. She threw Clarisse a lowball, for right now, "Why does everyone say you knew her best?"

Clarisse snapped her water bottle closed and sat down on one of the benches at the sidelines. Piper followed her.

They sat together in silence for a few moments before Clarisse spoke.

"She was my best friend." Clarisse tells her. "I know it doesn't make sense. She was the pretty popular girl and I'm..." She gestures to herself, "Me, but she was. And I was hers."

"She thought highly of me, especially when I didn't deserve it. I'm mean and ugly and I was a really big bully back then. She knew what was inside of me before I even knew. Silena saw me as a lot better than I was, and knew who I could be... someday."

Piper didn't know Clarisse, really. She's only heard stories. This is the first conversation they've had. In talking in a gentle voice about Silena, Piper didn't see the brute that Lacy was so afraid of. She didn't see the hothead.

"I saw behind her bullshit. She was good at lying and bending the truth." Clarisse realized what she said and she shook her head like she could erase it from Piper's ears. "Most of the time it was not letting people worry, or trying to not let people see what she was really thinking. I was able to cut through all of it. See what she was really thinking," Clarisse's stare turned sad, "or at least I thought I did."

"We were attached at the hip for years at camp. Ares and Aphrodite have had a camp alliance for years," That's something Piper has found out, because Sherman came to Piper to make Capture the Flag plans for the first time after she took the counselor position from Drew and he told her, but he never said why Cabin 5 and Cabin 10 were always on the same team, "—not because our parents are having an affair. It's because of Silena and I. We made the pact."

Clarisse set her water down, then stood up. "Anyways, that's why. Break over. Back to sparring."

✿

Lacy is a sweet kid. Piper could tell. Not only from the undeserved kindness she gave Piper when she first arrived, but in everything else Piper's seen since they got back from their quest and Piper's became her head counselor.

Lacy seems like she's cool. She wears her hair in low ponytails that remind Piper of skater girls, and, when the sun shines through the protected weather (whatever that makes camp not cold in the winter), Lacy wears a camp shirt that she's cut to have fringe and strung with beads on the bottom. Piper thought that if they were in school together Piper might have gravitated to her as an ally, but they’re sisters, which makes it a little bit better.

They aren't at a school, but Piper still gravitates to Lacy as an ally. Piper knows she's a spring chicken to all this demigod stuff, and she doesn't love to ask questions when she doesn't understand, but Lacy is good at explaining things to her without Piper having to ask.

"It was just a few of us before the end of the war," Lacy tells her one day when they're walking to the canoe lake to paddle around. "There were only four of us in the cabin. It wasn’t until after that it kind of exploded because a lot of kids were getting claimed."

Piper couldn't imagine the large Aphrodite cabin being so empty, only having a few kids when the cabin now seems like it's bursting with personality. "Only four?"

"Yeah. It was me, Mitchell, Drew, and Silena."

Silena.

It seems like Piper can't escape the reach of her (late) older sister.

"How was that?"

Lacy shrugs, "Wasn't bad. Cabin inspections were easy. Cleaning the stables was not. It took forever for us to clean everything up without Drew doing a lot of the work, but Silena ran the stables so she could take it easy on us and did most of the work herself."

Piper's heard so much about Silena, and every piece of information seems to contradict the other. Some people thought Silena was the worst thing that ever happened to camp, that she was a traitor and they hoped she'd rot with all the other suffering souls in the Underworld. Other people thought she was a hero, that she nobly sacrificed herself for the greater good.

The people who seemed like they had the most information, as Piper has come to learn, are the people who aren't talking about her at all. People like Annabeth.

"Lacy, what was Silena like?" Piper asks, unsure if she even can ask that to her younger sister who had to grieve her death barely three months ago. "For real?"

Lacy stopped walking. She looked a little older than her only fourteen years. Piper objectively knows that the war was hard on all of the kids who were there when it happened, but it's hard to see the friend she's come to know get pensive as she stares at the path that will take them to the lake.

"She was cool," Lacy starts. "I got here when I had just turned twelve, and I was scared but I didn't want to say anything. She just walked around with me, gave me a tour of camp, before I was even claimed, explained everything, honestly over-explained, just so I wouldn't even have to ask in the first place. She was my person, kind of like how Annabeth is yours."

Piper felt her cheeks redden, being understood by her little sister a little too much.

"I hung out with her, sometimes. Her boyfriend would be there, and sometimes he wouldn't. She tried to get me to fly with her a lot but I'm scared of heights so it didn't work for me. I don't know," Lacy finally turns to look up at Piper. "She was just there for me, you know? She was there for me like I guess a big sister should be. I miss singing with her at the campfire, and I miss looking up from my bunk and seeing her there on hers."

Piper couldn’t imagine it. She couldn’t imagine having someone there everyday and then not seeing them. She couldn’t imagine not having Jason, or Leo, or even people she’s only known at camp.

"Not everyone was there when she died. It was Percy, Annabeth, and the Ares cabin. When I heard what she had done... I couldn't really believe it, you know?"

Lacy uses her knuckles to aggressively rub at her eyes. Piper felt guilty for bringing her up; she knew Silena was a touchy subject, but her curiosity gets the best of her at the worst of times.

"I wasn't really her friend though. She had to take care of me; it's different."

"If I wanted to know more about her," Piper starts, "Who should I ask?"

Lacy takes a deep breath and it's shaky, and Piper can tell she's trying to hold herself back from crying. "Um, probably some of her friends. Let me think, who's here..."

Piper doesn't know if she means who's here because some of them are summer only campers or who's here because they've died. She doesn't want to ask for clarification.

"Will," Lacy starts, but it sounds like a question. "He's the counselor for the Apollo cabin. Sherman, he's the counselor for Ares when Clarisse is gone to school."

"Is that that girl, the big one?"

"Yep, that's her." Lacy shifts her eyes. "Annabeth. Jake," The old counselor for the Hephaestus cabin before Leo took over, "Clarisse too, but hold off on her."

Piper's confused. "Why?"

Lacy shakes her head, walking toward the canoe lake again, seemingly back into her body and their plans for the afternoon. "She might kill you for asking.”

Piper heard Clarisse was brutal, but she didn’t know why Clarisse would kill her for asking about Silena, but didn’t want to ask another question and tip Lacy over into crying before they were going to canoe.

“I won’t ask Clarisse then.”

✿

Clarisse didn’t move to cover her wound, the nick Piper gave her. Instead she reworked her stance with her sword. 

“C’mon, McLean, your turn.”

Clarisse had started the fight last time. Piper looked over her stance as thought her best opening would be to slash close enough where the sword couldn’t block her. It could get her but hopefully it wouldn’t stop her knife. 

Piper went after her.

They traded hits, but not enough to stop their fighting. Piper did her best to keep up. She’s sure part of it is from her supposed natural battle skills with her ADHD, but she’s also sure she’s flying by the seat of her pants. 

One slash, then another. Piper doesn’t know where she’ll get a lick in, until Clarisse leans too far forward in one of her lunges and Piper sees her opportunity. It’s a dirty trick. Piper knows it’s a dirty trick, but she didn’t win every fight she picked in middle school because she played fair. 

Piper grabbed a fistful of Clarisse’s hair, just long enough for Piper to hold onto. She pushed Clarisse down by her hair and Clarisse fell to her knees. Once she was down Piper let go, not wanting to actually hurt her. 

“That was a good one.” Clarisse whipped her hair forward looking up at Piper. “Didn’t expect you to do that.”

“No one ever did.” Piper held out a hand and Clarisse grabbed it, using Piper for leverage to stand back up. “What was Silena like? For real.”

Clarisse took a breather, wiping her hair out of her face. She thought about it. 

“She was… distant.” She seemed conflicted. “I don’t know if that’s the right word, but she— it’s like she lived in her own world. Sometimes she’d be present and she seemed lighter. Like a normal girl. Then other times she had this far away look in her eye.”

“Was it because she was a spy?”

“No.” Clarisse closed her eyes, then took a deep breath before opening them again. “There’s something you need to know, I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet. Demigods don’t get to live a long life, most of the time. Have you ever met an old demigod?”

Piper hasn’t known she’s a demigod for a long time. Still, the older demigods she met had come back from the dead. She thought that Camp Half-Blood was just for kids, and the kids who got old enough moved away and started their lives for real.

“My boyfriend is the oldest demigod I know. He’s nineteen.” Piper’s only fifteen. Nineteen seems far away, but it’s only four years. Would she live that long? This prophecy talks about a final breath. Piper knows war can happen, because it only happened a few months ago to the demigods last summer.  “Some of us, we live like today is the last. Others… they get stuck.”

“Silena was stuck?”

“Silena was… amazing.” Clarisse sighs, sticking the tip of her sword in the dirt. Piper watches as Clarisse drilled a little hole in the ground, turning the sword in her hand. “She was kind. She was funny. She cursed when she got mad. She loved swimming and chocolate and the pegasi.”

Piper’s ears perked up, “Swimming?”

Clarisse stopped. “Yeah. Why?”

Piper almost smiled. “I swim all the time. Surf too. My dad lives in Malibu.”

Clarisse gives her a small smile in return. “Sometimes, usually on the first good and warm day of the year, Silena would go out in the middle of canoe lake by herself. She would just lay down in the sun until meal time, or when someone messed with her. One time the Stolls used oars to splash water on her. It was hilarious, but after Silena got onto them, they didn’t think so.”

“For real. Everyone loved Silena. Even if they picked on her like the Stolls did, it’s because they loved her, like a sister. No one would have ever thought she was the traitor. Until the very end, she was saying it was all her fault and we never believed her until she proved it.” Clarisse clenched her jaw. She must be remembering something. “Post up, McLean, we’re going again.”

✿

Piper goes to ask Annabeth about Silena, this time on purpose and not like Lacy where she came up in conversation.

Annabeth had been cagey about her before, and Piper can only assume it was because they were close. She knew Annabeth had complicated feelings about it. The last time she mentioned it though was when Piper had just arrived to camp and they didn't know each other well enough– back when Piper didn't get the whole demigod thing well enough.

Annabeth has been monitoring the progress on the Argo II, making sure the Hephaestus kids were doing things right. Even though Annabeth would not probably admit out loud to checking their work, the kids in the cabin who knew Annabeth seemed used to it. The whole deal had to do with saving her boyfriend and she was very protective over that.

Piper and Jason would hang out in Bunker 9 sometimes, just to be with Leo. She knows that most of their memories of being friends were made up by Hera, but even still, she felt more relaxed in their company than she did the rest of camp. Needless to say, Piper was comfortable as she walked into Bunker 9 and sat down next to Annabeth at a work bench.

"Hey Annabeth," she starts, because with Annabeth there's no pretense to have small talk, "Can I ask you about something? It's okay if you don't want to answer though."

"Yeah sure," Annabeth leaned up from the blueprint she was reviewing.

"I wanted to ask about Silena."

"Oh," Annabeth looked back down. "Yeah. I mean. I guess you'd want to know."

Her gray eyes look like they're brewing a storm, just like her brother’s. Her fingers tap along the blueprint in front of her. Piper wants to ask the same thing she asked Lacy, but Annabeth starts to talk before Piper can ask.

"Silena was the counselor in Cabin 10. She became counselor after I came to camp. At the time she was the oldest but she was only maybe thirteen or so; I was eleven.

"I don't know when she and— when she joined the other side. I don't know what all she said and anything she did. We didn't even suspect her until she confessed right before she died. She was such a big part of camp, I still can't believe sometimes that she—"

Her jaw clenched.

Piper wants to hold her hand still tapping on the table. She doesn't know if Annabeth would want her to though. Piper tucks her hands in her pockets to shove the idea away.

"I forgive Silena for what she did and I love her for who she was, but people died because of her and other kids like her. I lost friends. Other kids here lost family. Big brothers and big sisters are gone because of what she did. I can't—"

Annabeth's fingers stopped tapping and they went into a fist.

"Both things can be true, you know?" Piper asked. She didn't know a lot about Silena, but she knew that she couldn't have been just one or the other. She wasn't just the big sister of camp or the traitor. "You can love her and think what she did was wrong."

"I know that rationally," Annabeth relaxes her hand in front of her, splaying it flat on the blueprint, covering some schematic. "I want to hate her for what she did. But I miss her so much."

Piper started this conversation because she wanted to learn about Silena. She knew that feelings had to go with that, but still, she understood how complicated it was. She knew it was a little complicated, if her first few weeks at camp were any indication, but would there be anyone who wouldn't have to preface their love for her with contempt?

"What do you miss about her?"

Annabeth didn't say anything for a moment, then smiled.

"I felt like I could talk to her about anything. There was a couple weeks where Percy was missing not last summer but summer before last and I spent so much time in the Aphrodite cabin with her. She was just a constant, you know?” Annabeth turns her head a little bit to look at Piper but then she shakes her head, “I guess you don’t?”

Piper shakes her head. “Just my dad.”

“Well, I had camp, here. Luke was my constant, then he left camp and was gone building armies and I was so betrayed. Then, I had a few people. My siblings, but I was older than almost all of them. I had Silena, then. Clarisse too,” Piper catches the name again, Clarisse. The oldest Ares camper when she was here. “But I really didn’t get close to her until later.”

“After Silena died?”

“No, before that. We worked on a lot of quest stuff before the Battle of Manhattan. Stuff with the Labyrinth. Never mind that,” Annabeth told her, already seeing Piper’s confused look. “It’s not important. Anyways, we never expected Silena to do anything like what she did. I never even considered it.”

Annabeth’s brows furrowed. Piper had a feeling Annabeth would have thought she would see it coming if any of her friends were spying for the other side.

“She told me how much she appreciated me, and how much she loved having me around, and gave me advice for life. I didn’t want to hear it then.”

“When did she tell you that?”

Annabeth looked a little caught. Suddenly Piper realized that the simple question had a complicated answer.

“Don't mention it to anyone.” Annabeth told her. Piper nodded. “She left letters. Only a few of us got them and the others shouldn't find out they didn’t get one.”

“Who all got one?”

“Her dad. He lives in Chinatown. Clarisse. She left one for Aphrodite, but I don’t know what happened to that one. None of us read it. Drew.”

“Drew got one?” Piper asked. “Drew hates her.”

“Silena didn’t.” Annabeth shrugged. “I don’t know. I know that Drew is on one side of how camp feels about her, and I’m more on the other. You ask everyone who knew her and you’re going to get different answers.”

“Who should I ask about her?” Piper asked.

Annabeth thought about it. “Will, maybe. Clarisse, but she will kill you for it.”

“Lacy said that too.”

Annabeth nodded, satisfied, “Yeah, she was right.”

✿

This one was quick. 

Piper parried Clarisse’s attacks in a circle, keeping Clarisse in the middle. It was mostly to disorient her, until Piper moved really quick and got on Clarisse’s left side, holding her knife tip to Clarisse’s throat. She didn’t disarm Clarisse, and she’s sure that if this was a real fight then Clarisse could easily knock the knife out of her hand right now, even if it’s pointed at her throat.

“Why did Silena do it? Why did she betray camp?”

Piper lowered her knife and stepped out of her bubble. Clarisse wiped the sweat off her forehead with her bandana. 

“The gods don’t care about us.”

Piper knew they didn’t, but she hasn’t experienced it. She knew because she knew how some of the older campers talked. 

“You weren’t here before. Before kids would never be claimed. They would sit in Cabin 11, unwanted. They wouldn’t come to you in dreams, or when you cried for help.The gods use demigods as tools and if we’re not needed, or if we’re not useful, we’re thrown away like last week’s paper. I know that. Some kids got tired of it and tried to overthrow the gods. I got it; I really did, but they were fighting because they were angry.”

“Was Silena angry?”

“Aphrodite never cared about her. Aphrodite and the rest of the gods only care about their important children.”

Piper remembers Aphrodite visiting her in a dream while she was on her quest. Not all the children of Aphrodite were meant to be only a pretty face, some were meant for greatness, or at least that’s what Aphrodite said to her. If some of Aphrodite’s children were meant for greatness, and some were meant to be a pretty face, what did that leave the rest of them?

“Luke. He’s the one who led the army against the gods. Silena always looked up to him. I don’t know what he said to convince her, or if she hated the gods as much as some of the other kids did. I won’t ever know. All I know is what she said to me in the end: She wanted to stop helping him, but he threatened to tell on her. Instead he promised not to hurt the people she cared about and he lied.”

If Piper was in Silena’s place, would she follow the same path? Or would she be better, or more understanding, or more of something Silena didn’t have?

Piper wiped the hair in her face out of her eyes. She’s sure she’s going to have to cut it again soon, or learn how to do a French braid to keep it off her face. Once she pushed it back it fell again, the short layers on the top being too short to be held in her ponytail or tucked behind her ears.

“You really do remind me of her.” Clarisse told her. Clarisse’s eyes did a once over on Piper. She wasn’t very well dressed. She knew she was going to be fighting in the arena today. She’s wearing a camp shirt she cut up and a pair of jean shorts with her sneakers. “I don’t know what it is. Something about you just… evokes her in some way.”

“Is that why you didn’t kill me for asking about her?”

Clarisse smirked. “That’s yet to be seen.”

✿

Piper hadn’t talked to Will before. She knew who he was, because they’re both counselors, but Piper never really had a reason to talk to him. He always seemed busy, running between his cabin and the infirmary. He didn’t seem to take classes like the other campers did. 

Leo hurt himself on the lava wall being dumb thinking he was immune to flames (well, he is, but he got spooked by a flaming ball coming at his face and he fell about ten feet to the ground, where Piper grabbed him up and dragged him to the infirmary. He was mostly fine, just complaining and joking like he always is.

“Piper, if this is what I get when I try to partake in regular camp activities, I don’t think I’ll ever participate again.”

“You’re being a baby, Valdez,” She told him, still sitting on the cot in the infirmary with him even though she could leave because she knows he’s alright. 

“You are being a baby, Leo.” Will walked in, wearing his usual camp shirt and flip flops. He’s Piper’s age and the counselor of the Apollo cabin. He also runs the infirmary. Piper never considered him until both Lacy and Annabeth said to talk to him about Silena. She doesn’t know if they were friends or what, but still it was enough to grab Piper’s curiosity. “If you chill out and eat a bite of ambrosia you’ll be all good to go back to your precious ship.”

“See. Big. Baby.” Piper pulled at one of Leo’s errant curls.

Leo smacked her hand away. “Yeah, yeah.”

“I can’t believe I had to leave the rock wall for one patient. Leo, you’ve gotta learn how to dodge that kind of stuff.” Will snapped off some plastic gloves. “You’re okay and once you eat your ambrosia, you can leave.”

Will turned to leave the infirmity. Piper watched him step out and realized it might be her chance to aks him about Silena. She jumped off the cot.

“Hey Will.” Piper called. She looked behind her to Leo and he looked at Piper confused before she carried on. “Will!”

Piper caught him in the hallway. 

“Yeah? I said Leo was fine.”

“No, no. Yeah I know he’s fine. It’s just—” Piper stopped. “Can I ask you something personal?”

He looked at Piper confused. “I guess.”

“I was talking to Lacy the other day. Everyone’s been talking to me about…”

Will’s face darkened. “Silena.”

Piper smiled gratefully. “Yeah. She said I should talk to you. She made it sound like you two knew each other pretty well.” 

Will didn’t say anything. His dark look wasn’t turning into sadness or grief. It stayed flat and still, like Piper hadn’t seen yet. Even Drew’s face would transform into a sneer when Silena was brought up.

“I guess I was wondering if you could tell me about her.” Piper tried to lay on her non-godly charm on thick, hoping that something would pull though and Will would tell her something, “I’ve been hearing a lot of things, but I wasn’t here when she was. I don’t know anything about her.”

Will nodded once, like a professional.

“Yeah. I thought I knew Silena pretty well.” Will glanced behind him, but he and Piper were the only ones in the hallway. “I thought I knew her pretty well until I found out she was the spy.”

His blank face. Piper realized it wasn’t the one of a friend lost in mourning. It was anger.

“She was my friend.” Will looked down. “I thought of her like she was my older sister. She would help out in the infirmary when we needed it.”

“Silena was my friend, but she was also Lee’s friend, and Michael’s.” Piper didn’t know those names. She didn’t know everyone though. Will caught her confused look. “No, you wouldn’t know them. They’re my dead brothers. Lee died here at Camp Half-Blood and Michael’s body was never found after the Apollo cabin was slaughtered on the Williamsburg bridge.”

“I—”

“You wouldn’t know. Silena was the spy and all the information she gave to Kronos killed my brothers. Silena is the reason I became a counselor in the middle of a war. I’ve lost family because of her. I had to grow up because of her. I don’t care that she died fighting for us. Her death didn’t bring back my brothers.”

“I’m sorry.”

Will looked back up, meeting Piper’s eyes. “I know that you weren’t here, and you don’t know, and I’m sorry I— that this is how it is. Silena was my friend, but all that was finished as soon as she confessed to being the spy. The others can think what they want. I watched Silena’s shroud burn like a hero’s after she killed my brothers. Someone has to hold her accountable for the things she really did. I haven’t forgotten. I will never forgive her for what she did.”

✿

“Next time, hold the knife like this.” Clarisse changed Piper’s grip, having her hold the knife like she was stabbing instead of slashing like a sword. It felt weird to hold it like this, almost non-sportsman like. 

“Am I supposed to hold it like this?”

Clarisse shook her head. “You’ll hold it any way you need to when your life is on the line.”

Piper nodded, listening carefully. This was probably going to be the most real life training she would ever get. Sure, sparring some kids who’ve been fighting in an arena with fake dummies could help Piper learn some of the basics, but Piper felt like she was learning more from Clarisse than she had from camp. 

“Try to fight me off like that. Someday, you’re going to lose your grip, or you’re going to catch someone else’s knife and you’re going to have to fight like this. If you learn it now, you’ll be ready then,” Once Clarisse was satisfied with Piper’s hand placement, she stepped back. “Okay, your turn. Come at me.”

Piper didn’t know how she would win. The thing she would need on her side to win is speed, and the element of surprise. She might be smaller than Clarisse, and therefore a little faster, but she knows she has no surprise. 

Piper attacked.

Sure, the stabbing motion was fine, but Piper found it harder to parry Clarisse’s attacks. She found herself twisting her wrist a lot to get a good hit, but it left her forearm too exposed. She knows what she’s doing wrong but she doesn’t know how to fix it. She needs to get her arm out of the path of Clarisse’s sword, but it’s getting too close for comfort. 

Piper gets close. She has to because her knife is a lot shorter than Clarisse’s sword. 

Once she’s close enough, Piper grabs the handle on Clarisse’s sword, over her hand, then pulls it behind her, extending Clarisse’s arm. Clarisse doesn’t drop her sword, but it gives Piper enough leverage to hold the knife to Clarisse’s stomach. 

“You’re pretty good at this for never picking up a weapon before a few months ago.”

Piper still had a hold of Clarisse’s hand, “I’ve been fighting longer than I’ve held a weapon. I’ve been taking mean girls down for years.”

Clarisse smirked. “Same.”

Piper let go of Clarisse. She spun the sword in her hand. 

“Another question, McLean. Give it to me.”

Piper has it ready on her tongue. “What do you miss about her?”

Clarisse shrugged. “Her. I guess. I miss having her around. I saw through her crap and she saw through mine. When you have someone who you don’t have to explain anything to… you don’t ever want that person to go away.”

Clarisse pointed out to the water, where the Long Island Sound was. Piper hasn’t spent a lot of time out on the beach because she’s been spending most of her time with Jason and Leo and that tends to be in Bunker 9. Piper followed Clarisse’s eyes anyway. 

“We used to sit on that beach together, not talking, not saying anything to each other… for hours. Sometimes we would mess around. Silena would build sandcastles, I would pick out sea shells for her to decorate it with. Other days, we’d stare out at the water and think about nothing.”

Clarisse glanced out to the horizon. Piper tried to follow her gaze but all she saw was Camp Half-Blood laid out in front of her. 

“I want to know why she did it. I want to know all the details. I want to know what everyone else wants to know about her, even you. I want her to tell me. But the one thing,” Clarisse holds up the finger she used to point at the sound, her voice breaks as she says it, “The one thing I would kill for is to sit on that beach with her again in complete silence.”

Clarisse uses the bandana on her wrist to wipe at her face. 

This is more emotion than Piper ever thought she would see from Clarisse. This is more emotion than what she’s seen from everyone else she’s asked about Silena. Will’s anger, Annabeth’s conflict, none of them hold to the silent tears and voice cracks of Clarisse. 

“I’m sorry,” Piper said, unable to think of anything else to comfort the girl she just met yesterday.

“Grab your knife.” Clarisse grabbed her sword. “One last time. Let’s go.”

✿

Piper stood with her knife in the sword fighting arena, practicing her sparing technique with a burlap dummy. She didn’t really know what she was doing— she was trying to learn from the classes, but she was barely able to pay attention. The rest of the campers fought with swords, but Piper fought with a knife. She tried to follow along, but it never did any good.

“You want any help?”

She turns around. It’s Sherman. He teaches the fighting classes. He’s about a year older than her. They’ve spoken before, but never without any reason. He’s helped her along in class, he’s told her plans for Capture the Flag. They were friendly, but not friends.

“Am I that helpless?” Piper asks in return. 

“No.” Sherman crossed his arms. “No. You’ve got something for sure, just thought I’d offer. It’s not common for people to pick a knife as their main weapon.”

Piper turned and stabbed at the dummy again. “Annabeth did.”

“So, you’re learning to be stubborn from Annabeth? One of the most stubborn people I have ever met?”

“It seems to work for her.”

Sherman is quiet behind her for just a moment before he speaks again. “It just reminds me of—” He cuts himself off, shaking his head. “Nevermind.”

“Silena?” Piper guessed, stopping and sheathing her knife. Sherman nodded, his eyes cast downward. “Were you two friends?”

“I would say we were. But it wasn’t really like that with us.”

Piper raised her eyebrows. She knew Silena was dating that old Hephaestus cabin counselor, Beckendorf? but she never heard of Silena dating anybody else. 

“Really?”

Sherman was built like a refrigerator, maybe two or three years younger than how old Silena was.

“Yeah— wait, no, not like that.” Sherman laughed, “As if. No, it was more like— Silena and I, we understood each other. It wasn’t something we really talked about, but we did.”

Piper waited, as she’s gotten used to do when people talk about Silena. 

Sherman marched to the bench, taking a seat and putting his sword on the ground. “My older sister, Clarisse, I don’t know if you’ve met her yet, she and Silena were best friends. We always ended up spending time together— and I knew more about Silena than some of the camp did at one point.”

Piper then became more curious: what parts of her sister were hidden from camp, weren’t part of the persona of Camp Good Girl, Camp Betrayer, Camp Real-Life Barbie?

“Like what?”

Sherman opens his mouth to tell her, then pauses, “I don’t know if I should say.”

For a moment, for the first moment since she’s come back from her quest, Piper thinks about using charmspeak. She knows how messed up it is that she has it, but then she knows that when she uses it she gets what she wants. Piper knows what she wants. She wants to know who her older sister was. 

“Anyway, I saw her the day she died. She led the Ares cabin into battle like the best of us. Everyone else thought it was Clarisse leading, but I knew it was her.”

Sherman ran his hand over his face. Piper could tell, even though she didn’t know him well, this wasn’t normal for the son of Ares. The thoughts of her using her powers faded seeing Sherman look so down. 

“I didn’t say anything. I didn’t tell anyone. Silena led us into battle and died doing it. Clarisse couldn’t even do it and Silena, a child of Aphrodite, did.”

Sherman faced Piper, and if she looked closely in his eyes, she could see the dark down shade a little red. “I know Drew’s talking crap about her, and I know there’s probably other people too, but I was there. I know Silena’s a hero. She was a warrior in the best kind, the fiercest kind.”

✿

Piper didn’t know how it was going to go. 

Clarisse attacked first, slicing at her stomach. She stepped back quickly, using the time where she was leaned over from her attack to make her own hit, pushing at the hilt of Clarisse’s sword and twisting in an attempt to disarm her. Clarisse tried to hit her with the backswing but Piper jumped back before she could.

This time Piper attacked, using her knife to stab rather than to slash. She held her knife over her head to slash it down at Clarisse’s chest, but it was a move Clarisse could obviously see coming, so she planned ahead. 

Clarisse stopped the blade at her shoulder. Piper used all her strength to keep Clarisse from slashing further down, from forcing her hand further down. She knew she had to break it, the push of force was an arm wrestling match and she had to break it before she couldn’t hold Clarisse back.

Piper lifted up her foot and kicked Clarisse’s wrist. The sword fell out of her hand and hit the ground. Piper knew it would be easy for Clarisse to dive and pick it back up, so with her knife Piper used the tip of it to push Clarisse back and put herself between Clarisse and her sword on the ground. 

Piper grabbed the sword and held it with her other hand. 

“I think I won.”

Clarisse shrugged. “I went easy on you.”

Piper sure she did. Everyone said Clarisse would kill her. She doesn’t think she got away with it from her skill or luck alone. “I’m sure you did.”

They stood together, finally basking in Piper getting the jump on her enough times to answer most of her questions. Most.

“Everyone told me about what Silena did. Not just the spy stuff, but they told me what she did for camp, what she did for them, or to them. You’re the first person to tell me about her. Who she was.” Piper held out the hilt of the sword for Clarisse to take back. “Why?”

Clarisse gave Piper one last once over. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Yes.”

“Before Beckendorf… It was me and her. ” Clarisse grabbed her sword back. “We loved each other. I loved her more than anything. I still do. I don’t care who knows, but I don’t know how much Silena cared. I keep it close because I can’t ask her if it was okay for me to tell people.” 

Piper’s mind stops. Is she saying…?

“But you have a boyfriend?”

“Chris knows.” Chris must be her boyfriend, Piper guessed. “We got together after Silena and I broke up.”

“Broke up?”

“We were together. We were thirteen, fourteen. We broke up because I was going on a quest by myself and I wasn’t sure if I was going to come back alive. I found Chris. I came back alive but we didn’t get back together. Silena found Beckendorf. We were still best friends. We still loved each other.”

Clarisse really was the person who knew Silena the best then. From everyone who told Piper that Clarisse was the person she needed to talk to, how many of them knew this? Or did they see two best friends around camp and assume they knew who Silena was but never really knew? 

“She was my best friend. Our breakup didn’t break us up. She was one of three people I care about more in this life than anyone else. I killed a drakon for her. I fought in a war for her. I knew her best and there are still some days that come when I think I didn’t know her at all.”

Clarisse sheathed her sword on her beltloop. Piper did the same with her knife. 

“I can’t answer all your questions, Piper,” it’s the first time Clarisse has actually called her by her first name. “You’ve got spunk, and from everything I’ve heard when I came back, you took to camp with no problem. And from what I’ve seen today, you’re on your way to being able to handle yourself on your quest.”

Piper felt proud. She’s not been sure if she’s ready to be a demigod. Her dad being stuck in California thinking she’s at a boarding school, the life surrounded by Greek mythos she can’t even begin to describe, let alone memorize, all the fighting and rules so complex that she thinks some days she’s in over her head. Clarisse seeing something in her, Piper’s abilities, or her potential to gain them, is enough to quell her anxieties.

“Can I give you one piece of advice?”

Piper nodded, “Yeah.”

“You have to be yourself. You can’t hide in her shadow. You can’t think about what she would have done, or who she would have been. You’re a different person, a new person. You can lead with your own feet. Not hers.”

“I will,” She promises, and hopes she’ll be here long enough to prove she can.