Chapter Text
Sasori died in his fight against Konoha, and now Akatsuki was a man short, so the leader decided it was time for the clown of Tobi to join their organization. Deidara was mad! He hated Zetsu’s subordinate and his stupid jokes with all his heart. To be forced to pair up with the idiot of Akatsuki was already a problem, but there was something worse…
“Why am I paired with an Omega?”, Deidara groaned, walking through the large and sinous tunnels of their underground base in the land of waves, closely followed by Zetsu and Tobi. Deidara never thought the leader was one of those liberal doofuses who thought an Omega and an Alpha could cohabitate in the same room or be part of the same team without problems. Even the least an Omega could form part of a band of criminals like Akatsuki. Fucking Betas and their lack of understanding of the Alphas’ and Omegas’ needs.
Zetsu and Tobi looked at each other. Neither of them knew what Deidara was talking about. Zetsu wasn't human and didn't have a second sex, while Obito was a Beta and as such, it was hard for him to distinguish the apparent ‘subtle’ dynamics between Alphas and Omegas. Madara trained Obito to behave like an Alpha, he was taller than your average Beta, so it was hard to understand why Deidara, of all Akatsuki’s members, thought he was an Omega. But he had an idea of what could be happening, and he didn’t like it.
The masked man bit his lower lip. “'But I’m a Beta, senpai…”
“-Um, I have a nose, Tobi.” Deidara groaned, pointing at his face. Tobi tilted his head like a confused puppy. “I mean that you can't lie to me, dumbass!”
“Deidara, Akatsuki don't accept Omegas, only Betas and Alphas…” tried to explain white Zetsu, walking beside Tobi.
“-And what is he doing here, then?” Deidara pointed at Tobi.
“I'm a Beta, senpai”. Tobi tried to hide the tiredness in his high-pitched voice, pointing at himself. Deidara stopped in his tracks and turned to look at his companion, scanning Tobi from head to toe. There wasn’t a centimeterof Tobi’s skin that wasn’t covered by clothes, save his toes, something typical of any shinobi Omega. It was a general rule every Omega followed in Iwa: they shouldn’t let their skin uncovered.
“A beta doesn't smell like you do!” Deidara countered, crossing his arms.
“And how do I smell?” Tobi raised an arm and sniffed his armpit. Obito furrowed his face in disgust. He had just come from a surveillance mission and smelled like sweat and dirt. He needed a bath.
“Sweet, like honey and flowers, like a fucking Omega!” Deidara yelled, stomping three times. It is was possible that the idiot didn’t know the nose of an Alpha or Omega was more sensible than that of a Beta as leader, Konan or Zetsu. There was no way Tobi could trick his sensible nose. Deidara knew the other was an Omega from the moment they met; his nose told him so, even if Tobi’s unusual behavior told him otherwise.
“Eh! I don't smell like flowers, do I?” babbled Obito confusedly. Did he smell like flowers because of his Mokuton or his Zetsu limbs?
“You smell like wild flowers, Tobi,” White Zetsu admitted. “And sometimes like honey,” added black Zetsu.
“Just like you?” Questioned Tobi shyly. Obito was sweating. This can’t be happening.
“No, he doesn’t smell like you.” Interjected Deidara, watching the idiot’s farce falling apart.
“Eh! You can’t be serious, Senpai, Mister Zetsu?” Tobi clenched his sweater like an anguished teenager, looking at Deidara and Zetsu. “Tobi isn’t an Omega!”
“Your hips are wide like an Omega”, Deidara said, separating his arms to show how big Tobi’s hips are.
“I don’t have wide hips, senpai!” Tobi cried, flapping his arms.
“Maybe his hips look wide because his waist is so small”, said white Zetsu, coming closer to Tobi to check the man’s body. Deidara bent and tried to measure Tobi’s waist with his hands.
“Stop it, Senpai!” Tobi cried, slapping Deidara’s hand away from him. “Tobi is a Beta, not an Omega” he trampled away from the duo. Deidaa snickered, enjoying making fun of Tobi for once, and looked at the plant man, who looked back with a discreet smile.
“You like candies. Only Omegas eat candies when they are adults.”
“No, that’s no true Senpai. A lot of Betas and Alphas eat candies like Tobi.” Tobi crossed his arms and apparently, or so Deidara thought, pouted under the mask. “Itachi-sepai likes eting candies and he is an Alpha.”
“Um, don’t talk about that bitch in front of me!” Deidara groaned.
“Anyway, Tobi is a Beta and not an Omega, as you think he is Deidara.” Black Zetsu spoke, attracting the duo’s attention. “The leader wouldn’t make the mistake of pairing an Omega and an Alpha, so don’t worry”. Added white Zetsu.
“Mister Zetsu is right, the leader is always right; he wouldn’t make the mistake of letting an undefended Omega with bad guys like Akatsuki.” Tobi chirped, uncrossing his arms and jumping towards Zetsu. “The leader knows what is best!”
“I doubt it Tobi”, Deidara groaned, rolling his eyes.
“It doesn’t matter if you like it or not, Deidara, the dessición has been taken and Tobi is now your teammate. There’s nothing you can do.” Black Zetsu said with a deep voice. “You should obey the leader and go to the Akatsuki base in Amegakure, the other members are waiting for you there.” Added white Zetsu.
“You must be kidding me! I’m not going to take an Omega to a hole filled with Alphas!”, Deidara yelled, balling his fist. Tobi tried to explain to him that there wasn’t a problem; he was a beta, and the other members already knew him. But the small Alpha didn’t hear him, instead concentrating his whole attention on discussing with the plant man.
“We don’t know what that fucker of Hidan will do to him!”
“Relax, Deidara, Tobi is a grown man. He knows how to defend himself.” Insisted white Zetsu.
“And what if…”
“Deidara, stop. Nothing will happen to Tobi. The other members won’t touch Tobi is he doesnt’t want to.”
“And what do you make you think those dickhead will respect and Omega’s will? hmn”
“We are sure no one is interested in Tobi in that way,” Zetsu chuckled.
“Yes, senpai, Tobi has talked with all the members of the organization, and none are interested in Tobi!” announced Tobi, walking closer to Deidara. Obito was getting tired of the duo talking about him as if he were not present to speak for himself. “Besides, Tobi is a Beta, and I’m sure Hidan-senpai is only interested in female Betas.”
Deidara turned towards Tobi’s orange mask, then turned towards Zetsu, before looking back at Tobi and loudly exhaled. “You are a ninja, don’t expect me to protect you from the others.”
“Don’t worry, senpai, you would’t have to.”
“Just remember I warned you.” Deidara turned towards the exit and kept walking without looking back, letting Zetsu and Tobi alone.
Tobi watched Deidara’s retreating back while Zetsu looked at him.
“There’s something I should know?” Asked black Zetsu. “Don’t tell me you are now an Omega.”
“I’m a Beta,” Obito groaned with his true voice. “I have been one since you known me.”
Neither the plant man nor the old Madara knew about his condition, Obito hadn’t known until he was twenty or so years old. The people suffering from the weird condition were called “False Omegas” or “false Alphas”, depending on which secondary sex characteristic they had. The technical name was “Chimerism”, which consisted of Betas showing sexual characteristics of Alphas or Omegas. In Obito’s case, he was Beta that looked like an Omega. In general, Obito didn’t have problems with his condition; he just needed to cover his body and simulate his subtle curves with his armor, behave like an Alpha, and use pheromone blockers and suppressors. Under normal circumstances, his pheromones were so subtle that they weren’t noticed by others, but apparently, Deidara’s nose was more sensitive than he thought. Or maybe the suppressors and blockers weren’t doing their job anymore.
“And what are you going to do?” Black Zetsu asked, curious about Deidara's weird behavior. “Are you going to let Deidara think you are an Omega?”
“Um, yes, why not?” Obito shrugged. If the suppressors and blockers weren't working and the other member of Akatsuki thought he was an Omega, it was better to pretend while he fixed his little hormonal problem. “It may be fun.”
“Alphas are easily distracted by Omegas, Tobi. Pein wouldn't like it.”
“Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”
“Tobi!” Deidara screamed from the other side of the hall, walking over his own steps. “If you don’t come right now, I will leave you behind!”
“Oh, see you later, mister Zetsu!” Tobi said with a high-pitched voice, shaking his hands towards the plant man before running towards the blond. “Wait for me, senpai!
“I don’t know why he likes to play dumb.” Hissed Black Zetsu.
“Let him be, even he needs to get fun once in a while.” Smiled White Zetsu.
“He needs to focus on the moon eye plan instead of playing to be an Omega with that boy…”
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“Wow, that was fast,” Mumble Obito, lying on his side over a tree branch, looking with a discreet smile at how Deidara kicked an Alpha's ass. The man came from nowhere, and to Obito's shock, said something along the lines of wanting to reclaim Tobi for himself. Before Tobi could make a stupid comment about the Alpha, Deidara, like his senpai, threw himself at the man. Obito was mad at the beginning; he could have easily kicked the man's ass on his own, but then decided to relax and enjoy the fight. Of course, Deidara won over the civilian man, but the boy used Taijutsu instead of exploiting the asshole as Tobi expected. It was weird! When Tobi annoyed Deidara; the boy always used his clay sculptures to try to exploit him. Why doesn’t he use bombs on the civilian?
“What was the leader thinking when pairing me with a fucking Omega?” Deidara hissed, cleaning his knuckles from the other's blood, coming back to his partner.
“Thank you for defending my honor, senpai” Tobi said, jumping from the branch and landing before Deidara. Opening his arms to give a big hug at the Alpha.
“What would you do without me? Hmn”, asked Deidara, evading Tobi’s hug.
“Tobi would have escaped, senpai.” He ran behind the blond without real intentions of trapping him in his arms.
“He was an Alpha in his rut. He would have followed you for kilometers, you dumb ass!” Deidara stopped and turned to glare at his teammate.
“Then it was good senpai was nearby to defend Tobi,” Tobi insisted, trapping the blonde between his arms and kissing his head with the mask. “Oh, Deidara-senpai, my knight in shiny armor!”
The alpha crossed his arms and closed his eyes. He wasn’t a gentleman or a knight in shiny armor, but even he knew that every Omega - even the useless Tobi- deserved to be defended from a Alpha in rut. The idiot didn’t have any survival instinct in his body; otherwise, he would have known things could have gone wrong very fast for him.
“Come here, hmn,” Deidara rounded Tobi’s waist with one of his hands and rubbed his free wrist against Tobi’s neck. The masked man instantly tensed.
“What are you doing, senpai?”
“Marking you with my pheromones.”
“Um, why?”
“That way no one will annoy us on our way to the base, hmn.” Deidara answered calmly, as if his actions were logical.
“Won’t people believe we are a couple?” Tobi asked, sounding uncomfortable. He raised his hand, ready to break each of Deidara’s fingers if he must.
“Not really, they will only know you aren’t alone, and they shouldn’t mess with you,” Deidara explained casually. “Don’t your mother ever scented you?”
“Um, no, really. She was a beta just like my father and my grandmother.” Obito lied. No one has scented him since he was a child and his grandmother passed away. Minato did so sometimes when they were inside Konoha as a way to come closer, but because Obito and Rin were betas, it wasn’t so important for them. And when they went to the battlefield, Minato thought it was safer for them to maintain their subtle beta scent. “ I don’t think it is a good idea, senpai,” Tobi whispered shyly. Taking Deidara’s hand away from his neck.
“Um, I understand.” Deidara released Tobi and took a step back. “We aren’t so close after all.”
“Sorry, senpai. Tobi isn’t ready”, Tobi nodded. Obito's lips were tightly shut, and his face twisted in disgust. Now he needed to get rid of Deidara’s pheromones before they arrived at the base. What would Konan and Nagato think of Madara if he came scented by Deidara?
“Don’t worry, hmn.” Deidara began walking and Tobi quickly followed him.