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Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Just focus on Jamil. Yes, on Jamil, who was staring far away at the horizon, so far away that Azul didn't dare to even glance away for a second. His fingers clung to the seat as he stared only at him. He and nothing else. Because if he looked anywhere else… He would get off that Ferris wheel sooner rather than later, only unconscious.
His heart was beating so fast that he was almost grateful he didn't have the three hearts of his octopi form. With every beat, he hoped it was also Jamil's doing and not what the horrible, terrifying heights were doing to him because… Why were earthlings so addicted to them? Azul knew of other means of transportation, such as trains, buses, even cars, and the terrible brooms used in physical education class. But, come on, a giant contraption? Riding a monstrous piece of iron for fun? What kind of psychopath had come up with that? It was a cage; a cage in the middle of the air. Currently, he was no better than an octopus trapped in an aquarium. Luckily, there was no one else witnessing such patheticness other than Jamil. It was enough to make a fool of himself in front of his crush, right?
And what was Azul doing in there? Well, they had all decided unilaterally (all being the Leechs and Kalim) that the three of them would go in one cabin, so since Jamil intended to get in with or without him, Azul decided it would benefit from him. He did find out that it was usually a romantic place. Two people trapped in the same space, as humans liked to write about for some reason. Well, it was just different from his perception. For him, a small, comfortable space was synonymous with complete and utter comfort; a safe space. If there was another person inside, it indicated a closeness that Azul had not yet experienced with anyone else.
But the problem was that this intimacy constantly struggled like a ship barely resisting the storms emerging from his thoughts. Because every time he tried to think about anything romantic, his brain reminded him of the who-knows-how-many meters below his feet.
That's why: Jamil. Jamil was his token right now. What connected him to… Not reality, certainly. To an idyllic world, however… One where he could talk to Jamil without thinking about what would happen if, for some reason, the cabin decided to break loose.
“You look bad, Azul.”
Bad, huh? It could have been worse. He could have told him he looked like a turd on a stick, as Floyd had recently learned in his vocabulary.
“Thank you, Jamil-san. Always so considerate. Have you been on a Ferris wheel before?”
Please don't give him a curt reply. Better to talk.
“Yes, once… But I see you haven't. You're living up to your name—looking pretty blue to me.”
“Oh, that? It's just that, not being used to heights, my human body decides to turn a different colour.”
Jamil rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Come on, Azul. We share PE classes. I know that blue isn't from being unaccustomed, but from being terrified.”
“Terrified, me? Please, Jamil-san.” And he elegantly lifted his glasses with his index finger. “I'm above, never better said, a Ferris wheel.”
“Why don't you look at the view?”
“Oh, I assure you I am admiring the view,” said Azul velvety.
Jamil, however, just looked at him resignedly. Nothing, he still hadn't undone his cross. It was only a matter of time; well, a short one, right? Because the Ferris wheel was moving, he waited for a familiar place, like the ground. The earth he would prostrate himself to kiss if he got out alive.
“I mean the surroundings.” With his hand under his chin, he fixed his silver eyes on him. “You’re afraid of heights.”
“Me? I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Look down, then. You won’t do it because you got on the Ferris wheel to be with me, right? If it were for the views, you’d already be looking at them.”
So that was that. Viciously cutting off his options for escape, but octopuses always counted on cunning.
“Well, what about the Ferris wheel itself? I can be curious about simply riding one, and it just so happens that you're my companion, and WHY THE FUCK DID IT STOP?”
No, no, no, no, no. What was the Ferris wheel doing in midair? And at the highest point! Was this an attempt at murder? Blue felt like he had walked into a trap, clouded by how much he wanted to spend time alone with his not-so-subtle crush.
“The Ferris wheel stops so you can admire the views and also, so people can get off.”
“And it can't stop at another section? Why doesn't someone else get a turn? I'm going to fill out a complaint form. They should put up a sign or something to indicate that.”
“There's no need for a sign because everyone knows that Ferris wheels don't always stay in motion.”
Suddenly, his vision blurred and his breathing quickened.
“I'm going to throw up,” Azul declared before he could take it back.
“No, no, no.” Jamil, grimacing in disgust, ended up sitting next to him, which only made his symptoms worse.
“What are you doing!? You'll throw us unbalanced!”
“This cabin is stable.” And now his pulse was racing for another reason: because of his hand clinging to his as he stared intently at him. As if he wasn't doing that just so that, in addition to being stuck with him, he had to put up with the smell of vomit. “Focus on me.”
“Yes, yes, on you; only you, Jamil-san.”
Only on Jamil. Jamil. Azul stared at him. His hand, now his token of reality. Shivering, he intertwined his fingers with Jamil's. A slight, nervous smile grew on his face when Jamil did the same.