Work Text:
"Why can't I sleep?"
Nanami was in a struggle with a well rested night and finishing a book. Maybe he worked himself past the threshold of work. He was in overtime more than 4 days back to back. So his usual schedule to sleep was absolutely ruined. But it was the weekend tomorrow, so maybe he could compensate? No, Nanami was going to run a few arrends tomorrow, and sleeping in wasn't often something he did. He liked his set schedules.
"Dammit..", was all he could murmur as he dragged his fingers through his now combed out here. He checked the time. "1:39." Nanami stared at his phone, agitated and unimpressed. He had to be up by 8 to go to his favorite breakfast spot before its all filled—
Ding!
"Hm?" Nanami looked down at his phone to see a message on his phone. But not from someone he expected. It was you.
"What on earth are they doing up?" Unless you had a late spirit, he knew you to clock out and be in bed also at a set time. You even had moments in which you'd be asleep in the meeting room because it was just quiet enough. Maybe it was just one of those nights that no one could sleep. With a soft motion, the phone was in his hand and opened your message, only for his eyes to slightly widen.
"Nanami? I think im greening out. Goho and I had shared a brownie but We didn; t kniw it wolld be so strong!!@ My finger Are moving too slow to keep typing; please call"
_____. _____ is high right now? Are you home? Are they ok? Did he need to pick you up? So many questions filled his mind. Nanami didn't hesitate to call. It rung once…then twice….then three times…"Come on _____. Answer"
Click!
"Nanami…?" Your voice was soft and gentle for the most part. Like you were trying to whisper, but was doing a very poor job at it. He took a deep breath, exhaling as he pushed his hair back. "_____, where are you now? Do I need to pick you up?"
"Nnnnnno. No. I'm at home…bathroom. Tub." Your voice was still attempting to find a way to discover its inside voice. But it was clear that you didn't know what was too loud or to quiet.
"May I ask why the tub?"
"Feels safer. Less noise. Nice and cool. But the ceiling is spinning."
Nanami held back the urge to chuckle. You sounded robotic, trying to push out any emotion that you possibly could. It was like a spirit trying to sound more human. "Nanami I'm so fucking scared. It feels like I'm perpetually falling. Gojo has Geto to take care of him. But I'm stuck here." Your words trailed off and realized your emotions were also pretty heightened. You felt alone. Scared. Like you were by yourself in limbo.
"_____. You still there?"
There was silence over the phone before soft sniffles came on the other end. "Nanami…I've been so fucking lonely. And I think it's all coming up full force."
Nanami never saw this side of you before. You were always headstrong, making jokes to help the atmosphere be better. Always making sure the teens were training and in good spirits. Where did this come from? Now that he thought about it, Nanami has never truly seen you distressed. Pissed off? For sure. Tired? Absolutely, everyone gets tired as a sorcerer. But this was…different. You were more vulnerable. More quiet and timid.
"Talk to me, _____. Tell me what you're feeling, and I'll talk you through it." His voice was sincere, but soft. He wondered what you looked like, glossy and red eyed from the edible. But probably small and needing assurance. He could do that. It's not like he was gonna get any sleep anytime soon.
"It's just…I know I have you guys, but it isn't guaranteed at the end of the day. We could get hurt. We could get killed. We could get tired of this shit, and leave. I feel like…I'm on borrowed time. I hate coming home to an empty home and the adrenaline wears off…and I realized I'm alone. But it feels so selfish to want more. To want something. To want someone. Am I selfish? Am I a bad person? Is it wrong to want something more when you're on the front lines?"
As long as Nanami has known you, you've never been one for deep conversations. You almost seemed to avoid it. Whenever you got hurt, Nanami always asked how you felt, and you shrugged and laughed it off with a usual "Nothing I can't handle!" But…how was he supposed to navigate this struggle. It's nothing that he couldn't relate to. Coming home to an empty house, cooking for himself, sleeping alone? He could sympathize. He wanted marriage, children, a pet, the whole shebang. But…was that selfish?
"You're not a bad person, _____. We all want and deserve something good to come home to. It..sounds like you've been carrying this alone, but _____, you're not alone in this. You have students, and not staff, but friends who value you and want the best for you. If you ever feel lonely…I'm always a phone call away. Or if you really need it, I'll be there to pick you up."
The sniffles stopped. The soft hiccups that rang into the phone subsided. Just soft, shaky breaths. Nanami relaxed hearing you take a deep, slightly quivered breath.
"You've always had a way with words….sorry for that outburst…that was…pretty cringey huh?"
Nanami exhaled through is nose to signal some laughter. "Not at all. We all have our breaking points. Maybe the edible was what you needed to get it all out.
"You're really a good guy…no wonder this crush hasn't gone away."
The words left your mouth before you could even process it. But Nanami heard it loud and clear. Crush? You? On him?
"Excuse me?"
"What?"
"You..have a crush on me?"
"Who told you??"
"You did"
"When?"
At this point, Nanami found himself laughing softly into the phone. The edible was certainly doing it's job. And oh my god it was kinda funny.
"Just now, _____."
You gasped, the short term memory doing it's job. You absolutely did just expose that you liked your colleague, While inebriated. "I can't believe I became my own worst enemy, exposing myself like that."
The laughter got slightly louder on his end. He always found you funny, but this was a different kind of funny. You weren't trying to be funny. But that was your talent. You were always somehow humorous in any given situation.
"Well…we can discuss that when I see you. But for now, I'll stay on the phone with you until you're fully situated."
"You're my muse Nanami. My flame."
He smiled, because despite how hard it was to try and sound normal, that was the smoothest thing that came out of your mouth without a struggle. A heat pooled in your stomach. Nanami didn't outright reject you, so…what did that mean?
"Nanami?"
"Yeah?"
"I really want pizza, but its 2am now. Should I settle for crackers?"
"Crackers are…easier to access at home."
"Hot and wise. Love to see it"
"You know I'm going to bring this up tomorrow, maybe even ask you on a date?"
Your heart skipped a beat. Which made your heart rate go faster. "Yeah? I know a few good places. But..my appetite might be shot tomorrow. I dunno how edibles work."
"I'll be there to keep you hydrated."
"I appreciate you…really."
After a few hours passed, you were sound asleep in the bathroom. He managed to convince you to at least put a towel on to keep you warm. The sound of your breathing put him at ease, and shockingly enough, tired himself.
"Goodnight, _____"
Goodnight for you, anyways, he had a date to plan with you. And he was excited for it.