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Merlin’s legs were trembling by the time he made it into Gaius’ quarters. At least that meant Arthur was sleeping soundly.
The further away from Arthur he got, Merlin’s magic felt… tighter. It was hard to describe but it was almost like he’d got a piece of his magic stuck to Arthur and was pulling on it more and more as he put more distance between them.
Merlin wanted to turn back. He wouldn’t because Arthur might wake up if Merlin can’t contain his response to pain and Arthut needed to sleep. Merlin knew Arthur needed sleep as much as he knew the curse was far more invasive than causing Merlin excessive pain when Arthur slept.
Since they’d been hit, Merlin knew things about Arthur instinctively. Things that before he’d only been able to guess at, such as Arthur being hungry or a seam rubbing in just the wrong place. Before he’d put him to bed, Merlin could feel Arthur’s all encompassing exhaustion like it was his own. From what he could tell, Arthur didn’t have the same awareness of Merlin but that could be due to his own exhaustion obfuscating anything Merlin sent across their apparent connection.
The guard smiled at him as he passed, likely attributing the dragging of his feet to exhaustion. Merlin made sure to smile as though everything was okay because there would be far too many problems if it became known Arthur was cursed.
There was no greater relief than shutting the door to the physician’s tower and getting out of sight of prying eyes. Sitting heavily on the bench, Merlin could finally let out the pained groan he’d been holding in the entire trek from Arthur’s quarters to his own.
Gaius wordlessly slid a vial across the table and Merlin swallowed the liquid without hesitation. He gagged at the taste but made sure to thank Gaius anyway as he forced himself to stand. The drug would not only deaden the pain he was feeling but allow Merlin to get a sound sleep himself. Now he only had to reach his bed before the soporific effect could kick in. He was fast asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
Merlin’s dream that night was strange. Perhaps not unusual after forcing himself to (a quite possibly mystical) sleep but he had a feeling it was important. Considering the magic involved in requiring Merlin to use a sleep aide, it was entirely possible that dreams were important. If only he could remember more than vague impressions of the dreams he’d experienced since being cursed. From what little he could remember, the dreams had some common threads: there was Merlin and there was Arthur and a shimmering rope twisting around them. The rest of the details fell away like leaves from a tree in autumn but Merlin and Arthur being bound together was a constant.
The light streaming through the window indicated that it was far past the time when Merlin ought to have been up. Hopefully, if anyone saw him last night they would have been able to guess that Merlin was ill and sent a replacement to Arthur.
Forcing himself out of bed was more difficult than he’d expected. He wasn’t currently in pain, indicating that Arthur was awake already, but all of his muscles had a sort of aching soreness similar to what could be expected from a bout of flu.
Merlin stumbled into the main room, meeting Gaius’ concerned gaze when he looked up from his books.
Before he knew what was happening, Merlin was sitting at the table with a blanket around his shoulders and a cup of mint tea. The warmth of the tea soothed some of the ache in his fingers and drinking it helped to remove some of the tension in the rest of his body.
“I’ve got some good news for you, Merlin,” Gaius said, “I think I know what the curse is on you and Arthur. I suspect it is a modified version of a truth spell that used to be quite popular before the purge.” Gaius took a deep breath before explaining, “The original spell is designed to cause great pain when the target is lying. Uther used to find it particularly useful when he was interrogating prisoners. The spell isn’t intended to have more than one target. It shouldn’t have worked. My theory is that yours and Arthur’s souls are tied to each other which is how it’s able to affect you both.”
“So, I’m suffering because Arthur doesn’t know every little detail of my life?”
“You are hiding rather a lot from him.” Gaius said sagely, “Waiting it out might work but I don’t know if you’ll both survive it. I know it’s not what I normally say but the best way might be to simply tell him.”
“He’ll hate me.” Merlin knew he would. If there was one thing Arthur hated more than anything, it was magic. He’d feel betrayed and used and wouldn’t hesitate to retaliate.
“I don’t think Arthur can hate you, Merlin. He might be angry but he cares about you as much as you care about him.”
Privately, Merlin wasn’t so sure but with his mentor’s encouragement, Merlin went to bare his soul to Arthur. He could only hope it didn’t result in his death or banishment because Merlin was certain, rejection by his other half would hurt far more than any curse.