Chapter Text
It’d started out as just a tickly throat. Ruggie assumed he’d irritated his throat after Epel got a little too overzealous during spelldrive practice, and he’d just swallowed too much dust, but when the irritation persisted after a couple days he had to accept the reality he’d caught a cold. Which was just great. It was coming up to Valentine’s Day! One of the busiest days—no, weeks—for the Mostro Lounge, and he’d been eagerly looking forward to picking up extra shifts during the rush. In fact, odd-jobs were booming during the weeks leading up to the holiday too, as so many students were desperately hopeless (and desperately in love—a perfect blend for opportunities) and needed help running errands.
Needed a last minute bouquet? Ruggie was on it. A tacky plush bear? No biggie. Some heartfelt poetry that may or may not have been about Malleus Draconia? Well, that was more niche, and he wasn’t sure how easily he could get more of those from Sebek, but it’d been a huge hit when he’d made some edits to make it less… draconian.
Still, he really couldn’t be getting sick right now, and Ruggie grew more and more frustrated when it became increasingly clear he was unwell. He didn’t have time to be unwell. Time was money, and Ruggie certainly didn’t have enough money to waste time on being ill.
To make matters worse, he’d somehow ended up hanging out with Silver and Kalim yet again during the free period. He truly wondered how this kept happening, considering they weren’t in the same class. Kalim and Silver were in the same class, and often hung out as a result, but why did Ruggie keep falling in with them both? Kalim was far far too bright at times, his energy too much (especially when ill), and Silver was just kinda weird. And came with the perpetual risk of suddenly collapsing on you, or suddenly spawning the loudest man known to humankind, or both.
“Are you really coming to the next Pop Music Club concert, Silver?!” Kalim’s excitable voice came sharply in Ruggie’s ear, dragging him back to the conversation against his will. He knew the topic would eventually swing towards him getting invited, and honestly he’d rather pick up an extra shift at the Mostro Lounge than potentially get hearing damage due to whatever ‘music’ Lilia decided to play this time around. But he knew the Lounge would be quiet, as a result of said concert, and he would struggle to say no to Kalim. As it was always difficult to say no to Kalim.
“Ah, yes.” Silver started, his voice vaguely slurred with sleep. “Fa— Lilia, um, invited myself and Malleus, and then Sebek invited himself along as well.” That was an extra reason to not attend. He watched with a growing disdain when Silver smiled quietly to himself as he continued. “Malleus is particularly excited about attending. It’s really nice to see him get invited somewhere.”
An arm excitedly interlocked with his own, and it took all of his effort not to sigh even if Kalim nearly overbalanced them both with his growing delight. “Ruggie! How about you?! Are you coming? It’ll be so much fun getting to play for you!”
Ruggie couldn’t stop the sigh this time despite his best attempts, his expression turning pained, because he really should’ve just made an excuse to leave the second the topic of the concert came up. “Well, y’see, work’s reaaal busy at the moment, and I’ve got to pick up extra shifts. It’ll be incredibly busy due to folks heading out for food after the concert.”
“But that’ll be after the concert, right?!” Kalim’s excited response came, and Ruggie knew all his words went in one ear and directly out the other. He was looking at him with so much bright joy, his red eyes shining like gemstones, and Ruggie almost needed to squint over how blinding it was.
“W-Well, no, you have to set up—”
“What about leaving before the encore?! We can just play you the final song at some point during rehearsal! Oh, oh, you’ll come to rehearsals too, right?” Kalim’s warmth was too much, and Ruggie’s chest was tightening with the awkward position he was in. Literally nothing could knock this man’s mood, and he had no idea how Kalim did it as he only seemed to be getting more excited. Where was Jamil when he was needed? Silver was walking with his eyes closed, his head lolled forward, but even if he were awake he never chastised Kalim for getting too carried away.
Reluctantly, Ruggie nodded—that twisting in his chest only growing as Kalim’s expression somehow brightened even further. “Alright, sheesh, I’ll come to the concert but I can’t come to every rehearsal, got it? That’s too much—” Even though Kalim’s expression still remained sunny and bright, Ruggie felt an ache spiking through him at his words, and he hated how Kalim made him react this way. “I mean, don’t wanna spoil the concert by knowing all your music in advance, right?”
A gasped snorting sound followed, Silver’s head shooting up just as Kalim let out a gleeful cheer and pulled Ruggie into a tight hug. He smelt like spices, incense and something fizzy, and he was so incredibly warm. Soft, too, and Ruggie wanted to be annoyed but he was also bitterly aware of the fact Kalim’s reaction made him happy. It was nice, in an incredibly awkward and annoying way, knowing he’d managed to pull that excited laughter from him. Kalim pulled back, animatedly chatting to Silver who tiredly nodded along about how great their concert was going to be. Occasionally Silver would interject with things Lilia mentioned, about trying on outfits and the like, and Ruggie just let the noise wash over him.
His chest was swirling with a familiar annoyance, a familiar bitterness, which always liked to rear its head around Kalim. It was honestly baffling how he could stand to be around Kalim some days, considering how unfathomably wealthy he was, and with how different their lived experiences were they really shouldn’t be able to relate to each other at all. Yet Kalim was so painfully earnest. He so genuinely cared about others, was genuinely nice, and it really made it difficult to despise him. He’d spent his entire youth despising the rich, only seeing them as a means to an end, and at first Kalim had been exactly that. On many occasions Ruggie had tried to extort him, had tried to trick him into giving him money, and Kalim had gone along with it so easily and with such sincere care and compassion that Ruggie immediately decided to never do that again.
It just felt weird. It was a swirling warmth, perhaps hot enough to burn, muddied by a bitterness that seemed rooted into Ruggie’s core at this point. Those were two feelings that were seated firmly within him, like some kind of rusty seesaw at an abandoned playground. He felt uncomfortably warm when around Kalim, but painfully bitter when away from him. It made Ruggie want to keep away from the strange boy, as it wasn’t possible for someone to be so genuinely nice. Even Silver, who was also impossibly nice, didn’t have the same effortless compassion Kalim could muster with a single smile.
Ruggie’s thoughts made his throat itch, the boy coughing to calm the sensation, but the itchiness only grew. It felt like he’d swallowed something that stuck to his throat, the tickling discomfort impossible to ignore as he took steady breaths to try and cough harder to force the feeling away. In fact he needed to stop walking, his two companions immediately noticing the boy braced against his knees, as he forced hard coughs through his throat. Silver had moved to pat him on the back, perhaps a little too forcefully, and Kalim nervously asked if he was alright when one harsh cough managed to force whatever was in his throat out onto the ground in a mess of saliva.
Massaging his throat, Ruggie took careful breaths to try and soothe the sting from whatever had irritated him, and he rubbed his eyes which blurred with tears. Silver offered him some water, which Ruggie gratefully accepted, and as his breathing steadied the group’s attention shifted to what Ruggie spat out. They were small yellow petals, potentially round in shape but quite honestly they were so badly crushed he had no idea what they would be.
“That’s… odd.” Silver said quietly, his voice as stoic as always and leaving behind an incredibly ominous feeling, and Ruggie hated how his skin tightened in response to his tone. Kalim seemed just as uncomfortable, only he verbalised his worries.
“Are you ok? How’d you choke on flower petals?!” He looked genuinely distressed, every intense emotion from Kalim displayed so openly on his face, and Ruggie tried to think what could’ve caused this. Truly he had no idea, and he was growing worried himself.
“Maybe… I accidentally spat up some dandelions I ate earlier?” Ruggie murmured, which seemed to at least settle Kalim, but it didn’t settle himself in the slightest as he could immediately tell those weren’t dandelion petals. He had no idea what they were, and he’d not eaten dandelions in a while either, so there was no way he’d spit them up, but where else could these petals have come from?
“Kalim! There you are.” A sharp voice caused Ruggie to flinch, his attention pulled from the crushed petals as the familiar figure of Jamil stormed towards the group. He seemed irate over something per usual, and really he couldn’t have picked a worse time. Or maybe this was a good thing. He didn’t exactly want to concern Kalim over something he didn’t know about himself, and at least with Jamil’s appearance Kalim was rather swiftly led away—waving warmly and again mentioning the Pop Music Club’s upcoming concert, much to Jamil’s annoyance.
Really, the concert was the last thing on his mind suddenly as he looked back at those damp petals. It was in the quiet contemplation that followed Kalim’s absence that Ruggie realised he wasn’t alone right now.
“Those aren’t dandelion petals.” Silver murmured, and Ruggie felt his stomach sink as he looked back at Silver. His gaze was intense, and completely unreadable as usual, and he felt a chill run through him because he almost looked furious. He reminded himself there was no way Silver would be angry, but he really had the worst deadpan at times. Maybe he was just thinking hard about the situation, but it left his chest feeling tight with a nervous confusion. “I… think they’re wormwood.”
Ruggie watched as Silver crouched down, and he cringed when the boy moved to pick up one of the petals that were still damp with his saliva. That was disgusting, but Silver didn’t seem to bat an eye. When he brought one of the petals up to smell, Ruggie was about to excuse himself from the conversation entirely because things were getting too weird again. Things always got too weird with Silver around. “Smells like it, but they really didn’t survive getting coughed up. Do you have appetite issues, Ruggie?”
“Huh? No…?” Ruggie wasn’t following the conversation at all anymore, and his confusion just seemed to trouble Silver more—his brows furrowing.
“...Parasites?” This was the worst conversation, and Ruggie was about to advise he hadn’t actively gone out of his way to eat wormwood—if that was what this really was—when the duo flinched violently at a loud screaming.
“SILVER!!!” Sebek’s voice was distinct, and Ruggie watched as Silver’s expression creased with obvious annoyance as he let out a tired sigh and moved to stand. It didn’t take long for Sebek to march over, his volume just as loud despite being much closer. “YOU ARE LATE FOR TRAINING!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SEVEN WHOLE MINUTES AND FIGURED YOU HAD FALLEN ASLEEP, BUT INSTEAD I FIND YOU LOITERING?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!?”
“Sebek, volume…” Silver grumbled, rubbing the side of his head with what Ruggie could only assume was a headache. As he had a headache already. Silver’s complaints went completely unnoticed, as always, but Ruggie was just thankful Sebek was so zeroed in on Silver right now that he wasn’t about to start screaming at him instead. Though as Silver was half-dragged away, Ruggie truly started to wonder where these petals came from. If he were the sleepy boy currently leaving, he’d assume he’d fallen asleep in a flowerbed somewhere and accidentally inhaled some, but he didn’t exactly make a habit of falling asleep in flowerbeds.
And wormwood…? Reluctantly, Ruggie crouched down as well. He wasn’t going to touch the petals like Silver had, but wormwood smelt really similarly to sage, so he sniffed and tried to figure this out. Somehow Silver had been right, there was a really good chance this was wormwood, but then where had he come across wormwood? Did it even grow on Sage’s Island?
Thinking about it made his throat itch, and Ruggie coughed lightly as he figured it was likely some weird prank.
—
It wasn’t a prank, or if it was, Ruggie was beyond sick of it at this point. At least he could comfortably say he didn’t have a cold, as his cough and itchy throat was being caused by an abundance of yellow petals, but he wasn’t quite sure this was an improvement. He’d started to take a handkerchief with him out to classes, quietly coughing petals into the fabric to dispose of later. Swallowing them down was an option, they were wormwood petals so were completely edible, but honestly they were the most bitter-tasting plant so he preferred to spit them out immediately. That acrid taste was clinging to his tongue despite his best efforts.
Luckily none of his classmates seemed to really care about the weird development of a handkerchief, or the fact he smelt like aromatic herbs, but he could tell they were growing rather irritated by his coughing fits. It wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose, the coughing hurt, and unloading petals into his bin at the end of each day was getting tedious. At least his roommate didn’t seem to care in the slightest, mostly sticking to his own business and crashing at a friend’s room anyways, and he was honestly just pleased he wasn’t in the same class as Silver and Kalim. Those two would often give him quiet looks of concern whenever they met up, and Ruggie wouldn’t be surprised if he looked exhausted. The coughing was making it a little difficult to sleep.
What’d likely been the worst encounter since this new development, however, had been Leona’s clear disbelief that Ruggie was using a handkerchief. He’d just stared at it for several moments, almost like he was offended by the very notion Ruggie had a handkerchief, before his gaze snapped up to meet Ruggie’s own.
“The hell is that.” It hadn’t been a question, simply a drawled statement, and Ruggie didn’t think a handkerchief was that weird. Sure, it was some old-fashioned thing he could imagine any of the students of Diasomnia—or perhaps Pomefiore—taking with them everywhere, but they were still functional items. Just because he was in Savannaclaw didn’t mean he had to cut out any and all manners.
…ok who was he fooling, he could really care less about manners, which was exactly why Leona was looking at him with such offense.
“My grandma sent me it, alright? The cough’s annoying and I might as well use it.” Ruggie lied through his teeth, and with the way Leona’s expression didn’t shift in the slightest, it was obvious he didn’t buy the ruse. Luckily this was Leona, and the man just shrugged and didn’t bother to pry further besides a simple ‘so long as it doesn’t become somethin’ I’ve got to deal with, Ruggie’.
That was also a concern Ruggie shared. The cough clearly wasn’t getting better, it actually seemed to be getting worse, and he’d never heard of any diseases which caused you to start coughing up wormwood petals. Maybe it was a magical disease of some kind, and he’d been tempted to ask the nurse, but he also didn’t really want to acknowledge what was happening either. It was already disorienting enough without having a second opinion confirm this was actually happening, so he rented out a library book on magical illnesses. Honestly he’d been surprised an internet search came up with absolutely nothing on this, besides the uncomfortable mention that eating wormwood helped with parasites, and he did not want to know why Silver knew that immediately.
Really he figured it would’ve been easy to look up his symptoms, as they were so distinct, and it surely had to be magic because why else would he be coughing up flowers?
At least Ruggie couldn’t fault Night Raven College’s literature, as he’d managed to stumble upon something that sounded incredibly similar in the third book he’d flipped through. There was an illness called ‘Hanahaki Disease’, which was an absolute mouthful to pronounce, where the suffering person would cough up petals—and subsequently flowers—due to the burden of carrying unrequited feelings of love. It’d also been mentioned to be a parasite-like illness, and he was sick of reading about parasites already! Apparently a plant was growing in his lungs, the flowers trying to bloom in the absence of those unspoken words, but there was only one problem: Ruggie didn’t have any unrequited feelings for someone.
He put a bookmark in the page and kept reading, moving onto a couple other books as well, but literally nothing matched as well as hanahaki did. The idea he actually had to consider this disease was what he was suffering from felt ludicrous, but he had no other option. If this was really hanahaki disease, it would eventually kill him if he didn’t work it out, so he considered the people closest to him first.
The idea of being in love with Leona made Ruggie laugh hard enough he’d ended up in another coughing fit, so it definitely couldn’t be Leona. Jack at least hadn’t provoked any hysterics, but there was no way he was interested in him either. He was too much of a loner, too headstrong, and got weirdly hung up on his morals—a definite no for someone like Ruggie. Thinking on their spelldrive team, the only real standout member he considered a friend was Epel and that… was another hard pass. He couldn’t put into words how much he would not date Epel.
If not his dorm and clubmates, then, what about the rest of the second years? The first to come to mind were the trio from Octavinelle, considering he had a good working relationship with them all, but Floyd and Jade were both… huge red flags. He could conduct business with them, and couldn’t trust them as far as he could throw them. Which was nowhere. He literally could not throw either of them, they were giants. Azul was at least more amicable to deal with, but he was also just a business partner, and Ruggie had to admit he was insufferable at times. Definitely not him.
Riddle… honestly Ruggie didn’t know why he wasted time even considering Riddle in his thought process, as it was Riddle Rosehearts. There was no way. His fellow equestrian clubmates were also a huge no; Sebek especially so, for reasons Ruggie would spend an eternity trying to list off so he didn’t bother to start. Silver was also just downright weird and if he had feelings for him, they would’ve long since left due to this whole weird parasite association he was never going to be able to shake now. Ever.
Speaking of parasites, Ruggie did consider Jamil and that was the first to make him pause a moment. They understood each other really well, even if there was an odd edge of distrust to every interaction they had, but Ruggie wasn’t sure a commonality was enough to warrant a life-threatening disease due to unrequited love. Especially as, honestly, Jamil was often unpleasant to be around at times.
Though thinking of Jamil of course brought up his charge, and Ruggie immediately felt a tart bitterness form in the back of his throat. Kalim brought up so many uncomfortable feelings, feelings of resentment, and jealousy, and guilt, so his gut reaction was that he couldn’t hold anything soft or amicable amidst such malice, but a sensation did give him some pause. His chest felt tight, and he wondered just what kind of mess he’d gotten himself into.
He considered the rest of the student body, and got absolutely nowhere with figuring out his problem.
—
The coughing was growing steadily worse, and he was coughing up so many petals at such frequent intervals at this point, that Ruggie was beginning to confine himself to his room. Not only to hide the strange symptoms, but also because the coughing fits were starting to grow exhausting. His throat felt perpetually raw at this point, and the frustrating yellow petals didn’t only come out coated with saliva. There was no way he could attend Kalim’s concert in this state, and honestly the thought stung. He hadn’t even been looking forward to the dumb thing, Lilia was genuinely a horrid musician, but Kalim was looking forward to him attending and he felt oddly terrible about it.
But, really, what could he do? If he attended he’d spend the entire concert spitting up and choking on petals, and that would just ruin the entire event. No, it was best he stayed in his room, and tried to soothe his throat as best he could. There was only so much honey and lemon could do, however, and if this was truly a mystical wormwood plant growing in his lungs, there wasn’t a lot a hot beverage could do to help. He’d been sick of this weeks ago, was far over the sleepless nights, and really he was no closer to knowing how to solve it.
It just ached, every breath feeling strained and difficult, and it honestly grew worse when he realised he was essentially growing bedridden. Lessons had been a task to get to, and even harder to sit through, and so Ruggie started to skip. It wasn’t like Leona was going to chase him up on being absent, but he still didn’t want to spend what could be the rest of his—admittedly short—future laid in a bed of pungent flowers, glaring up at the ceiling.
Though right now he wanted to sleep, his throat raw, and that tickling sensation in his chest growing and indicating he’d likely have another coughing fit soon. He laid closing his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep as he ignored how much his chest clenched at the fact he was missing that ridiculous concert. Ruggie could just imagine Kalim’s quiet frown when he realised he wasn’t there. Maybe it’d affect his performance, or maybe he wouldn’t frown at all. Maybe his smile would just be a fraction smaller, barely noticeable, or maybe Ruggie’s absence hadn’t been noticed at all. Kalim was so bright it wouldn’t be surprising if he overlooked one bitter hyena.
Ruggie breathed slowly and carefully to try and not set off the looming coughing fit, but it’d been no use. Something shifted at the back of his throat, almost like a large lump had dislodged itself in his windpipe, and Ruggie suddenly lunged upright when he couldn’t breathe. He tried to force air in to be able to force it out, coughing hard as he leant over the side of his bed scrambling at his throat. Every cough felt like he was swallowing glass, spittle and blood landing on the floor with every sharp attempt to remove the sudden blockage, and he felt his coughs coming weaker.
There was no way. There was no way he was going to die, all alone in his dorm room due to a stupid flower. A last surge of panic flooded through him, Ruggie slamming his hand against his chest, and he felt his mouth fill with a large flowerhead. He spat it out immediately, the feeling of a crushed and soaked flower leaving his mouth disorienting, and Ruggie gasped and desperately tried to catch his breath. His lungs were burning with relief from the air, from the strain of forcing such a large object out of his windpipe, and Ruggie was utterly exhausted.
He could barely register that the flower on the ground, covered in drool and blood and whatever else Ruggie did not want to think about, was indeed a wormwood flower. He was simply that exhausted, taking every breath like it was a gift to treasure, and when he heard a knock on the door Ruggie realised this last coughing fit hadn’t been the least bit quiet.
“Ruggie?” That was Jack’s voice, the boy obviously concerned, and that was just his luck. He knew his mouth was likely stained red from everything he’d just spat up, and he still couldn’t really move to throw anything away. There was no way he could hide anything. “Is everything alright in there? That sounded pretty nasty.”
Ruggie took a steadying breath and tried to call out, but it came out as barely a rasp. “I-I’m fine— Don’t worry yoursel—ghrk!”
As he was speaking, Ruggie felt another flowerhead dislodge, and he slammed at his chest as he started up his violent coughs again. It didn’t help that he was still exhausted from the first flower, his vision growing swiftly hazy, and he watched in horror as Jack barged in. The boy grew pale, clearly horrified at the sight and the obvious distress on Ruggie’s face, and he rushed over in concern. Hard blows came to his back, but Ruggie was already finding it difficult to keep coughing. Was already feeling woozy as he really despised the idea he was going to be killed by a damn flower.
Luckily Jack managed to dislodge the second flowerhead with a firm blow, but Ruggie only had enough energy to spit the bitter petals from his mouth. His skin was clammy, he could barely keep his eyes open, and he couldn’t register Jack’s worried questions as exhaustion finally tugged him down into unconsciousness.