Work Text:
When Wally returned a day later, he didn’t come alone.
Rob was standing by his side, their fingers intertwined. Of course, there was also Impulse and a sleek black dragon with blue eyes, on whose back Impulse was seated. Then there was also a young boy in a leather jacket, sunglasses and a colorful t-shirt with an S. He was the only one wearing a costume (probably), both Rob, Wally and Impulse were wearing civilian clothes though with various themes (Wally was wearing his Nightwing hoodie, while Rob had a Kid Flash hoodie and Impulse had Flash-themed trousers and hoodie with Robin symbol).
The new boy waved at them, hoovering in the air next to the dragon.
“Hey, guys, sorry for the quick retreat, we had to stop the large-scale panic. That’s Kon, Tim and Bart’s friend, he was tasked with their protection,” Wally spoke up.
“Baby sitting,” added Kon.
Dragon and Impulse glared at him, the dragon growling, its tail lashing around.
“What, I am! You left without a word!” Kon scoffed.
“Well, we already have the dads here with us and we have an accelerated healing factor,” pointed out Bart.
“Uh huh. Like there isn’t anything that could go wrong.”
The dragon growled again, jumping into the air and snapping at the superhuman.
“Hey, those are new!” Kon defended, floating farther away.
“Is that Tim?” asked Kai.
“Yep, sure is, we managed to get the contract done quickly,” smiled Dick, rubbing behind the dragon’s ear.
The dragon purred and Bart made an excited sound, laying down on Tim’s back and rubbing behind the flops on his head, before rubbing under his jaw. Tim flopped onto the ground with a content sigh.
Wally, Dick and Bart cooed at the sight and Kon lowered himself onto the ground, sitting down next to Tim and propelling himself to his head.
Tim opened one to a slit before grabbing the super’s jacket in his jaw and pulling him closer before using him as a pillow.
“Hey, look out for the jacket and hair, you know how long it took," Kon grumbled quietly as the dragon nuzzled his hair.
“So, any questions? We can go to a restaurant or something for a conversation, if you want,” asked Wally.
“Of course we have questions, man, we haven't had anything but questions since we met you,” pointed out Jay.
“But you are glaaad you diiid,” sing-songed Wally.
“Yeah, who else would have eaten all our food? Literally all our food,” said Nya.
“Hey, at least he didn’t get you banned in all you can eat places in half the cities,” quipped Dick.
“I did not get you banned in half the cities in the USA, babe,” frowned Wally, lightly elbowing Dick in the ribs.
“Yeah, only half the Central City, Keystone, Gotham-” started Dick counting out with a smirk.
“How about we go to an all you can eat place here? We know a good one,” grinned Kai.
“You will get banned,” informed Dick seriously and Tim nodded before dropping back on the super.
“Crash idea,” grinned Bart, before stopping, “Unless that place only serves sushi, then I would be feeling the mode and stealing food.”
Tim grumbled reassuringly before purring when Bart started scratching him again.
“Nope, no sushi,” reassured Lloyd, inching closer to Tim’s head and holding out his hand.
Tim bumped into it with his nose and Lloyd smiled.
“I’m sure Tim can go like this, the owner won’t mind,” he said.
“Crash. By the way, Kon, Tim, Bart, do you want to go for a flight? We will send you the location,” offered Dick.
“Does anyone have a dictionary?” asked Nya as Tim jumped up, flapping his wings and grabbing Kon’s jacket and throwing him into the air.
The super just sighed as he stopped in the air, “You won’t be able to beat me.”
“Sure, sure, whatever you think,” smirked Bart as Tim glared up at him.
Then Tim turned to Wally and Dick.
“Yeah, you can go fly, I already said that, we will be fine. Just come to location we will send you later and don’t explode more than the standard amount of buildings and stay safe,” assured Dick.
“Yep, just the standard amount, alright? If you wanna visit someone, go visit the biggest tower in the city. There is a nindroid, P.I.X.A.L., who is very nice,” added Wally.
Tim nodded and shot off into the air as Bart yelled, “Bye dads, be back in a flash, won’t explode more than 10 buildings!”
“Okay, now that the kids are off, any immediate questions?” smiled Dick.
“Yes, please explain your vocabulary, it doesn’t make any sense,” said Zane.
“English doesn’t make any sense, they steal so many words it rivals their museums!” scoffed Dick.
“Alright, borrowing aside,” Wally spoke up, squeezing Dick’s hand as he tsked at the term, “it’s just some slang words we picked up over the years, or which came with Bart from the future-”
“What do you mean from the future?!” yelped out Jay.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you all about that,” Wally sighed.
Dick snickered.
“Hey, come on, wonderful, it isn’t my fault I forgot about it,” Wally said while looking at Dick with a hurt expression.
“Sorry, flasher,” said Dick without sounding the least amount of sorry.
Then Dick kissed him and Wally softly smiled at Dick, throwing one arm over him and tugging him to cuddle up against his side.
“So, Bart is from forty something years in the future from a world overrun by evil aliens. The aliens put people on mode, which means they had control over them, therefore the words crash and feel the mode. He sometimes also says meat instead of people because the aliens say that,” Dick explained.
“And the verbs, like traught, whelmed, turbed and then feeling the aster, are because of getting rid of prefixes to create an opposite for the word in the same way we have dislike and like,” added Wally.
“How many types of aliens do you have?” asked shocked Kai.
“Uncle Hal says something about too many to count,” Wally shrugged.
“We don’t even try at this point, because we have Kryptonians, like Kon and Clark Kent, Martians…” nodded Dick before asking, “Can we get going now and you can try to figure out the questions on the way?”
“Sure, just please talk at normal speed to us,” sighed Kai.
“Okay, then lead the way,” smiled Wally.
A black streak along with a high pitched sound pierced through the sky, followed by a smaller dot.
“Are they gonna be fine?” asked Jay as they embarked on their journey.
“Welp, one is a speedster, other half Kryptonian and half millionaire or billionaire or something and then the third is currently the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself, I think they are gonna be whelmed,” replied Dick cheerfully.
“Everyone who meets them and has evil intentions is gonna be so not traught, though,” grinned Wally.
“Should we start group therapy for our villains who met any of you?” asked rhetorically Nya.
“Probably would be for best, now that I think about it,” agreed Wally.
“Great, great,” sounded Cole.
A few minutes later, they arrived at their location.
“Hey, we are here with five of our friends,” greeted Lloyd the owner.
“If they don’t set anything on fire, it’s going to be fine. Standard payment for all-you-can-eat?” waved her hand to the red-haired woman.
“Yep,” Wally grinned with lightning dancing in his eyes.
Dick cackled at his expression, currently hanging on Wally with his head on Wally’s shoulder.
“How are you comfortable like that?” Jay asked as they were on their way to the table, having been eyeing the content acrobat for the duration of which he settled on the speedster like a being between a koala and a cat.
“I have weird joints,” Dick replied.
“He has no bones, he’s liquid,” Wally replied.
“Hypermobility?” asked Zane as the ninjas sat down.
“Dunno official term, I’m just being partially liquid,” said Dick, before letting go of Wally with his hands to type something on his wrist holo screen.
Then he let go completely and slid onto the bench, closely followed by the speedster.
“Okay, the kids should be here soon,” he informed.
“How many explosions do you think they caused?” sighed Jay.
"Wanna bet?” smirked Wally.
The ninjas vehemently shook their heads as Dick fished food from the mechanical belt and handed it to Wally to put onto the table.
“I’m betting making dinner on five, dude,” quipped Dick.
“Nine and half, dude,” grinned Wally.
“Deal!” yelped out Dick before turning to ninjas, “Do you also want something? Besides answers, like food?”
“Yes please,” replied Lloyd with a grin and the other ninja nodded.
“Okay, if the kids need more, they will have to get it themselves,” muttered Dick.
Jay and Cole eyed the Great Wall of food which was selecting their half of the table from the heroes’.
Suddenly, a light breeze flew through the room and Bart and Tim (in a human form this time) slid to the bench next to Wally and Dick.
“Hiiii,” Tim grinned and Bart waved with one hand, since he was currently wolfing down some of the food.
Minutes later, Kon slid to the bench next to Tim, grumbling, “You should have waited for me, why are you running ahead?”
“Isn’t our fault you are so slow,” smirked Tim and Kon lightly elbowed him to the side.
“Ha ha ha,” he drawled out before throwing a bowl at him, “Eat, Wonder.”
“So, how was it?” asked Dick, Wally expectantly watching the trio.
“Good, good, P.I.X.A.L. is nice, we didn’t have many explosions, though,” said Tim, sounding slightly disappointed.
Bart vehemently nodded, his hair flying back and forth.
“We only had three,” added Kon with a smirk.
“Cool, you’re making dinner, Flash boy, I was closer,” smiled Dick at Wally.
“Alright,” sighed Wally before looking at the ninjas from behind the now half-gone wall, “Soooo, what questions do you have?”
“Firstly, what the hell happened, secondly what the hell the crime lord, thirdly how the hell,” started Jay.
“Heroes-wide panic,” Tim held up one finger, before going on to other numbers, “Uncle Jay, dimension travelling guns. Two, to be exact.”
“And who’s fault is that panic, huh,” huffed Kon.
“Shut-up, it wasn’t exactly our fault,” yelped Tim in his Batman voice.
“Sure, Wonder, whatever ya say,” drawled Kon as Tim glared at him, reaching into his utility belt.
“Okayyy, so, like we said before, we panicked and raced off to breaking-and-entering and then entered here to get Wally. Jay is a crime lord, who was Robin between me and baby bird, then died and then came back. He is friendly with us, but still doesn't like dad very much. He was worried about us, since we went awol without contact, so he stole B’s dimensional travel gun from the cave and came to get us before a world wide hero disaster, heavy on the dis, happened. Anything else?” replied Dick.
“How were you two able to defeat us?” asked Nya.
“I was an acrobat, then taken in by Batman at 8 after a traumatic experience and taught fighting. And from 9 was fighting villains in the crime capital,” Dick shrugged.
“And I experienced the traumatic event after getting my first hug, which was the reason I figured out dad’s secret identity and then everyone else, except for a few people. Then I took up night-time photography aaand stalking and learning fighting styles and hacking as a hobby, before I was approached by dad later on in his own crime ridden city while night-photographing. Then I got adopted and dad let me help instead of trying to lock me up,” continued Tim, adding a mutter of, “Goddamn magicians and shapeshifters.”
“They are basically ninjas,” Wally grinned like a Cheshire cat.
“We are not!” said offended Dick, leaning away from him.
“How dare you insinuate we took a swim in the lime Fanta?!” gasped Tim.
“Crash name, fearless leader,” snickered Bart.
“Gods, you are all drama queens,” muttered Kon fondly.
“We are ninjas? What lime Fanta pool?” asked confused Cole.
“Dudes, you can disappear from next to Miss M and Superboy numero uno and Kon,” pointed out Wally.
“Because they have a skill issue,” scoffed Tim.
“Lazarus pit, a bring-back-life pool of green glowy water, but with the addition of rage problems,” said Kon, before pushing a bowl of noodles at Tim, “You need to eat more, Wonder Boy, or else you won’t grow to be taller than even Bart.”
He ignored both Tim’s and Bart’s murderous looks.
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry for that, I didn’t mean undead ninjas, I meant cool ninjas,” giggled Wally.
Dick and Tim exchanged looks before speaking at the same time, “We forgive you.”
“Thank you,” grinned Wally.
“Just how many heroes do you have in your world?” asked Kai.
“Huh,” Bart made a sound, “Not really sure, didn’t count them. Like, the Earth heroes. Or the space ones. Too many.”
“Yeah, we aren’t sure. Too much to count and rising,” nodded Dick, “We have over 15 on our team, plus Kon and Cassie and Bart from Tim’s team aand our family. Then there is the Justice League and other heroes.”
“How many family members do you have?” asked Cole.
“Well, if we count the Flash, that means we count GL test pilot, then I have the crime lord brother, another brother, another brother, sister, kinda sister as in won’t be caught dead with our family in public but still steals B’s money and food, another kinda sister, kinda brother then there is Babs and eco-terrorist aunties, aside from Walls, Timbit and Bart,” counted out Dick.
“And thief auntie. She is cool, she taught me how to break into safes,” smiled Tim fondly.
“Oh, right, and Selina. B’s dating her sometimes,” nodded Dick.
“Good lord,” breathed out Nya as the other ninjas were processing the information.
“Yeaaah, big family,” shrugged Dick before looking at Tim, “Do we count in Kon and Cassie and Cissie and Secret?”
Tim nodded.
“Okay, then there is Kon and Cassie, Wonder girl, the one Jason said was calling up Kyle, GL artist, Marvel and Constantine with Kon, Cissie - Arrowette, Anita Fite - Empress and Secret is a secret,” grinned Dick as the rest of the vigilante's snorted.
“What villains did you guys have?” asked Kon curiously.
“Giant snake who wanted to eat the whole world, lizard people,” started Kai.
“My dad and the dark lord,” quipped Lloyd.
“Evil ninja robots and dark lord again in a video game, then in real life,” added Jay.
“Cult who became lizard people,” added Zane.
“Aaand then ghosts,” ended Nya.
“Cool. You have a lot of lizard people? Rob, do we have lizard people?” grinned Bart, looking at Tim, who hummed thoughtfully.
“Yep, they are cool now, though,” nodded Kai.
“There is Killer Crock in Gotham sewers sometimes,” quipped Dick.
Bart snapped his fingers, “Ohhh, right, forgot about that. Wait. Wait-wait-wait. You-guys-fought-in-a-video-game?Like-brought-into-a-videogame?”
“Yep. It was cool,” nodded Jay.
“Crash-we-need-to-do-that-too,” Bart looked at Tim and then at Dick and Wally.
“That-would-be-crash,” agreed Tim.
“Okay, you have our permission to call dibs on when we have a mission like that, as long as you stay safe,” agreed Dick after a silent conversation with Wally.
“So, what was your worst enemy would you say, if you want?” asked Kon, looking at the ninjas and throwing bottles of lemonade at Tim and Bart.
“Ghosts were super bad,” mumbled Kai, while Cole and Lloyd silently nodded.
“Snakes,” shuddered Jay.
“Dark lord,” said Zane and Nya shrugged.
“Hmm. Reach Beetles,” Bart said before eating another bowl of food.
Tim reached for him and pulled him closer to himself as Dick, who migrated onto Wally’s lap, and Wally threw arms around them. Kon followed, throwing an arm over Bart, who climbed onto Tim’s lap and Tim.
“Huh?” reacted Jay.
“Little sentient robots who basically attach themselves to a host, one person on our team has one, but he was possessed by the Reach only for a short time in the present days and now the robot’s cool,” Bart shrugged before questioningly looking at Wally and Dick.
“Dead clown, Reach” replied Dick with a dark expression.
“Same,” agreed Wally.
“I haven’t met any of those, but I agree,” nodded Kon.
“Okayyy, is anyone up for dessert?” asked cheerfully Jay.
Everyone agreed in unison and the chefs stared in disbelief at their now all gone food. And by all, it is meant as all. Excluded from the desserts which were coming next, of course. In the end, there might have been posters banning certain people, who were not of this world, from the restaurant. And the entire food chain of the restaurant.