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“And the storyteller? What about him?” Will’s question lingers in the air, he looks Mike in the eyes like he can see into his soul.
“The storyteller? He goes back to the quarry that holds so many memories for him. He stands at the edge, and thinks about all the memories this place holds, and the one he hasn’t told anyone. He thinks of that day, his best friend, the love of his life, had been missing for over 24 hours and the town was restless. Everyone said something different but the worst ones, they said something that hurt the most. They called him a fag, said he was off being gay far away, and that he shouldn’t come back, that no one missed him anyway. When he fought, alongside his friend, and lost. His friend in a chokehold, a knife to his mouth, and only one way out, his death. When he stood over that same ledge all those years ago but with the same thing on his mind, dying so everyone else can live happily, without him. And jumps, but this time, no one else is there, and no one is there to save him,” Mike’s reply stuns the room, no one knew that except him and Dustin. Dustin had almost been able to forget it, but now, he remembers that day in vivid detail. He wishes he didn’t.
“What? You- you never told me that.” Will can’t think properly, his mind still hasn’t registered the fact that Mike just said he loves him. The only thing he can think of is that Mike tried to kill himself once, and that he was going to try again.
“I didn’t know that happened. Dustin, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t either of you say anything?” Lucas is worried now, and can’t help but feel cast aside, because he knows that there was a day when Mike and Dustin went out just the two of them, and came back three, but he never found out why, “Jane was the one that saved you, wasn’t she?”
“Yes, but I still wish she hadn’t, maybe I wouldn’t be this then,” Mike can’t help but gesture at himself, feeling horrible for saying this, but his back is lighter, and his secrets less.
“Wait, Mike, I thought you loved Jane. You said it yourself, so how could you have loved someone then? How could you do that to her or yourself? You both got so hurt, it could have been avoided; so much pain, and why?” Will can’t help but feel betrayed, both on his behalf and Janes’.
“Because I thought that maybe if I said I liked girls long enough, then maybe it would become true, that maybe this was my chance to prove to myself that I could be normal.”
He’s bursting now, with this secret he’s been keeping for so long finally coming to the light, and it’s grown. It’s hurt him, to keep it a secret as long as he has, not to tell those he loved, but the fact that Jane knew made him feel just a little better.
After all, she was hiding a part of herself too, “Because we needed each other, to hide who we were from the world, who we liked. She knew about it then, so did I, we made the choice together. The reason why we were the way we were was because, well, she was the only girl I could even pretend to feel that way towards and I, I was the only boy she could pretend to like that way, we needed each other. She needed me to help her pretend and I needed her. We did love each other, just not the way that Joyce and Hopper do, but in the way Steve and Robin love each other, as friends, really good friends.
They pretended to be together, all those fights, they were because they needed to be presentable, and that time she ‘dumped him’, it was keeping up appearances. It hurt because he had broken their cardinal rule by lying for so long just so he and Jane could feel better. However, he knew it wasn’t truly selfish, as they had only done what was necessary to survive. But still, deep down, he felt guilty and friends don’t lie, friends don’t lie, friends don’t lie repeated over and over again in the back of his mind like a mantra, and in a way, it was. He felt so bad that he ingrained it in his soul, making sure that that was the only lie he would ever tell. From the day the lie began he promised that to himself, but it gets hard to lie, it built from a snowball, to an avalanche. Eventually it had to come out. Eventually Mike had to come out.
“Serious-?”
“What the actual FUCK Mike,” Dustin’s face is as red as it could ever be, he’s angry and ashamed, of himself, for not being someone Mike or Jane could rely on.
“What? Can’t handle a fag or two Dustin?” Mike might just be egging Dustin on for fun, but under his playful tone is serious concern, worry, that his best friend might not stay by his side this time.
“Oh my gods, Mike, you and I both know that is nowhere near what I meant,” Dustin slumps back in his chair, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah I know I just- don’t know what else to say, you know? Like I’ve said my part and now it’s up to you all to add your part,” Mike has never been done speaking, he’s always had more to say, another part of his mind to speak, but today? He just can’t.
“We had no idea, Mike. You need to tell us these things. Don’t keep us in the dark like that. We’re here for you, always,” Max’s eyes, white and unseeing, hold an understanding look, like she can see him, truly see him. They’ve never really had a moment where they talked and gushed about their feelings but they always knew each other the best, maybe even more than they knew themselves. Max and Mike saw parts of each other that they desperately tried to keep hidden, and it just felt good to be seen. He could see why Jane loved her now.
“You never have any ideas Max, be honest,” Mike can’t help himself, at this point, it just feels natural to tease her.
“That’s one up on you, Wheeler,” Her smile so wide the corners of her eyes wrinkle and you can just tell she understood what Mike was saying to her.
“Thank you, I’m here too, always,” Of course, Mike would never say that to her out loud, neither can speak that genuinely to anyone anymore.
“Mike, are you being serious right now?” Will’s voice is laced with worry, and a glint of hope. He’s hopeful not because he loves Mike, but because maybe he won’t be alone in who he was, who he always was. But maybe he won’t get that, maybe he’ll get a friend trying to make up stories, nothing but meaningless words, not a true confession.
“No I’m just pulling your leg,” He’s trying so hard to sound sarcastic but it just comes out mockingly, so of course he tries again, “That was a joke, by the way. In case you numbskulls didn’t get what i was trying to say then here it is, plain and simple. I’m like, very gay, Jane was like, a massive lesbian and we ‘dated’ as a way to mask ourselves and to, like, protect ourselves from being conceived as anything else. Will, she was mad at me for not saying I love you to her because she felt like no one would believe us if I wasn’t just as invested as her.”
The whole party was still, not a word was spoken. Will walked over to Mike and offered a comforting smile to the boy who had offered him one so many times before.The boy who had never gotten a comforting smile when he needed one. Dustin made his way over as well, but not without a little complication with trying to maneuver Mike’s basement with a cane, and simply held Mike’s hand. The hand that had held so many others, but had rarely been held itself. Lucas brought Max over in her wheelchair and she wasn’t able to move, of course, but she cried silent tears thinking of all he must have been through. The tears he must have shed over so many others. Lucas places a stable hand on Mike’s shoulder, stable for the boy who had never been stable. Words weren't needed, not when they knew each other so well.
“I’m so sorry, friends don’t lie. Friends don’t lie was all I cared about for other people, I pushed it onto everyone else, but couldn’t keep my own rule. I lied about something that shaped who I was, for years. The worst part is that I made someone else lie too,” His words came out between sobs, heaving, shoulder shaking sobs. His hands swiped at the snot from his nose and the tears from his betraying eyes.
“Sometimes, you have to lie to stay safe. To be able to live,” Will sounds like he knows what he’s talking about, his eyes look pained, yet his face is sincere, happy. He had to lie for years, but he finally got away, he was glad Mike did too. He was glad that Jane had someone who could understand, even if it wasn’t the best person. He was happy for his sister, and his love.
“No ‘I love you’ s for Mike?”
“Nope. You don't deserve them.”
“That was a little too fast of a response Max. Say it a little slower so that Mike can understand what you said,”
“Nah, he knows what I said,” Will and Max have an unspoken bond, a sisterhood that shows. Maybe it’s how they were treated as children that made them cling to each other like velcro, or maybe it was solidarity.
“Oooooo, yes I did. Max, you said’ I love you Mike and you’re the nicest, smartest person in all of Hawkins’ and don’t even try to fight it ‘cause you know it’s true.”
“Since you just shared something really vulnerable and you shared your emotions with us I’m gonna let you get away with that one, but don’t let it go to your head.”
“What was that? One way road to my head?”
“Lucas, get me outta here, his stupidity is hurting me.”
“Noooooohohoooo, little missy. You actually weigh quite a bit and having to carry you up those stairs is not easy to do, nope.”
“Dang Max, just got told no for the first time, what’cha gonna do?”
“RUDE! Lucas throw a pillow at Mike for me,” and thus began the epic pillow fight between a paraplegic and an unathletic gay boy. (no but seriously Mike and Lucas have a pillow fight but the whole time Max is telling Lucas what to do)