Chapter Text
Chapter One: Phantom Pains
I woke to an ache that seemed to seep through my whole body. I groan softly, reluctantly cracking my eyes open. The fluorescent lights of the infirmary had me squinting as I tried to sit up.
“Careful, you’ll pull out your stitches.” I turned my head toward the voice, a scruffy looking man sat in the hospital bed beside mine. His shirt was tied off at his left shoulder, his arm missing. He got to his feet, walking over and sitting on the edge of my bed. “Let me help.”
He gently helped me shift my pillows and sit in a more upright position.
“Thanks.” I murmur softly, meeting his worried gaze. He nods slightly. “I’m Henry.”
“Simon.” I smile a little.
“Nice to meet you, Simon.” I groan softly, my right leg hurting an insane amount. I frown, shifting my gaze to it. I freeze, the expression dropping from my face. The blanket below my knee lays flat, as if my leg isn’t even there. His gaze shifted to where I was looking, then back up to me.
“You had a really nasty hole in your calf and they couldn’t clear up the infection.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know how to react when finding out my leg was gone.
“Is it hurting you?” I nod and glance up at him. “I know the feeling.” He gestures to his missing arm. “Phantom pain is a nightmare of its own.” I take a shaky breath and nod a bit.
“Talk to me. Take your mind off of it. Are you C.O.I.?” I blink a couple times to try and clear my thoughts.
“Uh, no. No, I’m from Eden… although I guess I’m supposed to be C.O.I. now after all that “Convict Realization” bs…” I explain, earning a scoff from Simon.
“You too, huh? What did they do to you? Send you to die at the bottom of a blood ocean alone and irradiated?” I just stare at him quietly.
“Yeah. But how did you know that?” He blinks at me in surprise.
“What?”
“They wanted a sample of some skeleton I found.” He nods a little.
“Me too. They only brought me up because I recovered the black box from one of their missing submarines.” He lets out a humorless laugh. “But I guess we’ve both earned our freedom now, one way or another.” After a short, awkward silence I ask,
“So you’re from Eden too?” He nods and tilts his head to the side, moving his hair to show me the scar where the C.O.I. had burned off his tattoo. I smile just a little and show him my scar. Same place, same shape. “We match…”
“Seems like.” He agrees, nodding just slightly. I yawn, tired and hurting still despite his distractions. “Still hurting?” I nod a little. “Just your leg, or…”
“Everything, honestly.” He gets to his feet, nodding.
“Alright, let me go find someone who can up your pain meds.” He pats my shoulder before heading for a side room, probably an office of some kind.
He’s back a few moments later with a doctor, who carefully adjusts my medication dosage after asking a few questions about my pain. The doctor then leaves, and I start to feel incredibly tired as the pain eases up.
“Are you falling asleep on me?” Simon teases gently, but there’s a touch of worry in his gaze.
“Mhm… the pain relief has just made me realize how exhausted I am…” He nods and carefully helps me lie back down.
“Rest then. I’ll be here.” He gets up and shifts back to his own bed, sitting on the edge as he keeps an eye on me. I curl up under the warm blanket, finding a comfortable position to lay in. It doesn’t take long after that for me to nod off in the quiet warmth of the infirmary.
Nightmares eat at me while I sleep. The radiation blistering on my wounds as the ship was dragged around by god knows what. The blood leaking in. The pain when it’s teeth had gone through my leg. My leg that wasn't even there anymore. My air running out. Barely being pulled out of that nightmare in time.
The lights in the infirmary are off except for a few small lamp lights as I jerk awake in a cold sweat, my whole body twitching and shaking from the adrenaline rush. My ears were ringing and my breaths were ragged and hurried. The phantom pain where my leg should be was agonizing. I grip my thigh with shaking hands, as if willing the pain to stop while tears slide down my face. Something touches my arm and I jolt, starting to pull away until I realize it’s Simon.
“Breathe, breathe! You’re okay, it’s alright.” I was gasping and whimpering, in too much pain and panic to form words. He carefully sits on the bed, gently taking my hand in his to try and ground me. I lean my head against his shoulder, melting into sobs of pain. He releases my hand, bringing his up to card his fingers gently through my hair. “I know it hurts, I know. Just breathe.” After a while I started to settle a bit, taking wheezy breaths as he held my shaking body.
“What time is it?” I manage softly, gently holding onto his arm as he rests his hand on the back of my head.
“Late. Night time. I’m not exactly sure.” He pauses briefly. “Do you want to talk about it?” I hesitate before shaking my head no.
“It doesn’t define who I am… I don’t want it to define who I am.”
“It won’t. You can talk about it and not let it define you at the same time.”
I nod a little and whisper, “I’m just not ready yet.” He nods in understanding and I sigh a little.
It was quiet between us for a long moment. “My favorite color is green. I like reading mystery novels whenever I can get my hands on them. I want to see a real forest someday. I love the stars, even if they’re not really there anymore.” He glances down at me as I continue. “I enjoy drawing. It’s a stress reliever for me. I draw the places I read about in books that I may never get to see. I love wearing wide-legged pants. I’ve had the same pair of boots since I was 15. My middle name is inherited from my grandfather.”
“My favorite color is blue. I’ve spent most of my life just fighting to survive. When I was younger, I used to enjoy singing. It was a community activity, lots of time with other people. It was one of the only times I felt I had a place. I’ve seen the last tree, and I hope I’ll have a chance to see it again. I hope there are others out there in the universe. I really do. I’m not sure I believe that everything is just gone. I don’t want to believe it.” He sighs, his breath ruffling my hair.
“Keep talking,” I whisper softly into his shoulder. It’s quiet for a second and then he speaks again.
“What happened to Filament station wasn’t my fault. The C.O.I. think it is, but that’s not true. I was the only one trying to stop it…” I nod against his chest, hands absently playing with the edge of his shirt. He sighs and shifts how he’s sitting, leaning back against my pillows with me still leaned into his chest. “This is nice.”
“Yeah, you’re warm.” His hand absently curls my hair around his fingers. “Tell me a story?” He’s quiet for a while and then he speaks, voice low and soft.
“There once was a man who put himself before all else. The only thing that mattered to him was surviving, so that someday he might live the life that he dreamed.” He pauses, glancing down at me as he carefully brushes my hair back out of my face. I was growing tired again listening to his voice. It was surprisingly effective at calming me down. “The man had to go on a very important mission if he was going to earn his freedom. A mission that might save all of humanity.”
“Wow… that’s a big responsibility.” I murmur drowsily, a small smile on my lips.
He chuckles and nods, “Yeah, yeah. Big responsibility. So he does his job, and complains the whole time. Things start to get scary. He’s not alone on this mission, something is out to get him and he doesn’t have any help down there. But he keeps doing his job, because when he’s done, he gets to be free like he always wanted. Things get really scary, he gets hurt pretty badly, and that’s when he finally understands that what he’s doing is bigger than him. What he’s doing is important. Just when things look bleak, someone finally comes to his aid, rescuing him and letting him complete his mission.” I had started to doze off, curled up against his side. “Goodnight.”