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How To Fail At Picking up Girls 101

Summary:

“Let’s get along together, Shiraishi-san. I look forward to working with you,” Kohane said, disrupting An from her daze. Her smile almost killed An.

Holy shit she’s cute. 

An's interested in a certain cute girl. Unfortunately for her, that certain cute girl likes filming her expeditions to haunted places, and An finds herself taking on the role as her cameraman. 

Notes:

what the hell is valentines? no, we celebrate friday the 13th here (not actually; dates just happened to align lol)

though unfortunately, i prioritized an’s freak out over the actual horrors so its not that scary and im a little disappointed but what can we do!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

So, here’s the deal: An may or may not have a bit of a crush on that cute girl that hangs around Vivid Street sometimes. 

 

As such, An may or may not have checked out what she was doing there. She may or may not have seen her putting up posters requiring helping hands for filming, and she may or may not have called the number on the poster. 

 

Okay, cool. 

 

She half expected that girl—Azusawa Kohane, her name was—would be a part of some sort of filming crew. Turns out, Kohane is the whole operation. Like, she’s a youtuber. For something. An didn’t fully pay attention to Kohane’s explanations on what they were doing, too mystified by the experience of merely being within her presence. 

 

“Let’s get along together, Shiraishi-san. I look forward to working with you,” Kohane said, disrupting An from her daze. Her smile almost killed An; Even the shy blush on Kohane’s face would make any ruthless god kneel—not that An was a god. In fact, it might be Kohane who’s the god—in which case, An wouldn’t mind worshipping her. 

 

Holy shit she’s cute. 

 

“Haha, of course…” An said in response. Goodness-she’s-so-awkward. “You can call me An, by the way,” she slapped on, because she is not missing any chances to close the distance between them. 

 

“Oh…” Damn, was she too forward? 

 

Kohane blinked, hesitating. “Then, please call me Kohane.” 

 

Oh my…

 

An’s heart suddenly pounded ten times faster. Which maybe shouldn’t be possible and maybe An should go to the hospital after this. Or maybe it’s normal—An isn’t a doctor, so she wouldn’t know—but she sure as hell doesn’t feel normal. 

 

She does want to be alive to see Kohane again, so she’ll probably go to a doctor and hope with all her heart (yes, the one that’s acting a little haywire) that nothing’s wrong with her. And then she can see Kohane again. Great.

 

 

 


 

 

 

The past two weeks learning how to operate a camera, change the settings, and test filming were easy. Aside from the few instances where An and Kohane had to enter dark spaces for some odd reason, they were pretty much set. 

 

Yep! And perhaps they did get a little distracted along the way (An trying really hard to flirt, but failing—who even says bad jokes to their crushes anymore? Gosh, this was gonna keep An up at night for a while), but they were finally starting filming, so let bygones be bygones! An’s sure she could manage just fine. 

 

The thing An was most perplexed about, however, was that they were right next to some scary looking tunnel. 

 

Yeah. Maybe they were just lost. Definitely; No way her sweet, sweet Kohane would explore something so creepy. 

 

“Hey Kohane, so, you said you were what kind of vlogger?” An asked, just to make sure. She hoped Kohane wouldn’t catch the slight tremble in her voice. 

 

“Ah? Oh, yes, I explore the paranormal! I mentioned this, didn’t I?” Kohane said, patting her clothes down as she prepared her flashlight and a bunch of other things An really did not want to know about. She did not need to notice when equipment screamed Hey, ghostie over here! with a certain flickering light or mechanic, thank you very much. 

 

Her back stiffened. “Yeah, you did…” 

 

An actually didn’t know. She didn’t pay much attention to anything Kohane was saying when they had their first talk, too distracted with, well. Her quickening heart. And Kohane’s round glasses that slipped every five minutes. And watching Kohane’s fingers push her glasses back up. And mostly Kohane in general. 

 

Kohane smiled bashfully. “Actually, I’m really thankful that you accepted this job.” She redirected her gaze away, seeming a little flustered. “Not a lot of people wanted to work with me. They always backed off when I mentioned ghosts, abandoned places, stuff like that…”

 

Dang it. Now An really couldn’t cop out like this. 

 

“Of course! I’m also interested in this stuff, haha!” Mostly in you, though. An hoped her smile didn’t falter. 

 

Absolutely. Absolutely interested in ghosts and haunted places and urban legends. Not a scaredy cat. Not a scaredy cat. Not a scaredy-

 

Okay, An couldn’t gaslight herself into believing she was brave, but at the very least, she prayed she could gaslight Kohane. 

 

Kohane’s eyes shone. “Really? Then, we should…”

 

Yep. Yep yep yep. Yeah sure. Whatever she wanted. An just nodded with what she thought was a numb face. 

 

And finally, the moment she dreaded the most: Kohane stood up from her crouching position, having gathered and organized her belongings. “Um, I’m ready now. Shall we go?” She suddenly looked a lot more cool. 

 

An gulped. Swallowed. “Yeah… Let’s.” 

 

Screw it all, she was so fucking scared. An hoped her nervous laughter didn’t seem as anxious as she felt. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

She should’ve just quit when she had the chance. 

 

Every two seconds, the device in Kohane’s hands (“It’s a device to detect paranormal activity,” Kohane explained. “This is the minimum. When it flashes green, basically nothing’s there. When it’s over here,” she pointed at the other side, “It’s at its maximum. Flashes red. It means there’s a lot of ghost activity.”) kept blaring its light to the max. 

 

Kohane looked nothing but delighted. “Oh, did you know? Apparently, this tunnel runs 444 meters long. It’s pretty cool, hehe,” she spoke, almost in a sing-song-like tone. 

 

It’d be pretty cute if they weren’t in an actual haunted tunnel right now. 

 

Abort abort abort abort abort, every bone and muscle and blood cell in An’s body screamed. They still hadn’t left. She was kind of certain there was a ghost right next to the both of them too; An was taking everything in her willpower to not scream or burst into sobs or do anything that embarrassed her in front of Kohane. 

 

Every step they took, the tunnel echoed back at them, creating the illusion of there being more than two people wandering about in some haunted, nasty tube. Also, it smelled slightly like sewage. Scratch that, it smelled like rancid old water left in a bathtub drain for who knows how long. Water dripped in sync with each step they took; The more steps An took, the more she felt her sanity drift away. 

 

Surprisingly, her only comfort in this hellhole was the smell–it smelt strangely like home if home was a rotting old pipe from the outside world and dear An has never felt such belonging to a rusty old pipe than now. The smell distracted her from the reddish-brown spots on the walls made clearer by the flashlight in Kohane’s hand and the fact that the echo of the footsteps had become seemingly… urgent? It must be An’s imagination; She also felt like she needed to leave the tunnel immediately, so perhaps she was just projecting onto the hypothetical ghost that was not haunting this tunnel. 

 

And, forgive An for not being more attentive, but she hadn’t listened to Kohane’s monologue about the story behind this tunnel’s haunting. She was too busy adjusting the camera every few minutes to keep Kohane in focus and stopping herself from going into full-blown panic and running off with her tail between her legs. 

 

“...And occasionally, one may see sightings of a woman in white around here. Oh, there’s a person here. Hello?” Kohane shifted An’s attention to the figure to their right.

 

It was a long-haired ghostly body with a white dress, stained with hints of dried red. It shifted slightly.

 

An did not scream. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

So, turns out it was just a mannequin. (An still held doubt in her mind. The fucking wind should not be able to move a mannequin in that way. That place was haunted, absolutely).

 

They had both finally left the tunnel, at the expense of An’s embarrassment and Kohane’s tears of laughter. In the future to come, even ghosts wouldn’t be able to haunt An as hard as this. And probably already the present too–An could already feel the nightmares creeping up on her. 

 

An waited for Kohane to calm down from her laughing fit, her expression gloomy. 

 

“I, I’m sorry, An-chan,” Kohane finally breathed out, wiping a tear from her eye. “I wasn’t expecting such a loud scream from you. Are you scared of ghosts? Um, maybe you shouldn’t work for me like this…”

 

The way An’s neck cracked when she whipped her head around was probably a cause for concern, but that didn’t matter. Was she getting fired? Already? 

 

“Ahah, Kohane! It’s true that I’m, well, terrified. No, kind of? I’m kind of scared of ghosts, I guess, but I’m…” An bit her bottom lip slightly, squeezing her eyes tight, “I’m. Also interested in ghosts? I find these haunted places intriguing too, ya’know?” An opened her eyes to Kohane’s slight stare.

 

She blinked. Kohane’s face bloomed into a smile, the kind that sent multiple metaphorical arrows into An’s heart and would probably kill anyone else. 

 

“Actually, you’re such a cool person, An-chan.” Sudden praise? An’s face beamed (and then faltered because in what world is being scared of ghosts cool). “So it was a bit surprising to hear you yelp so loudly. But I think this kind of ‘gap’ is still cool, too.”

 

“Haha, you think so?” An rubbed her arm shyly. Hey, getting jumped by a few ghosts might be worth it, after all. 

 

In the end, An still had her job. Her racing heart might have to do with the anticipation of getting the absolute shit scared out of her during their next recording session and not with Kohane’s radiant smile plastered onto her face like An had just given her the entire world. 

Notes:

*gap: gap moe
i cant lie gap moe feels kind of like a fetish thing sometimes lolol but whatever we roll

 

sorry if an feels vaguely like performative male akito. its been three years since ive actually opened up pjsk and im not updated on the lore sooooo

btw expect an akitoya version to come soon. i couldnt decide which one to do with this idea so im doing both i think

thanks for reading!

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