Chapter Text
Baku sighs as he's scrolling on his phone. He's been scrolling TikTok for the past three hours, and he's bored. Glancing over at his boyfriend, Baekjin, who's hunched over his desk still studying. Baku puts his phone down on the bed and watches his boyfriend, how tense his back look, how he's muttering to himself as he's working on whatever problem he's currently at.
Without meaning too, he can feel himself start to get hard, when was the last time they had sex? Or hell, even did anything beyond a few short kisses? Baku wasn't sure, but it's been weeks, probably months.
When they'd gotten together two years ago, it hadn't taken long for them to realize they weren't exactly compatible when it came to sex. Baekjin was uptight, didn't like to get messy and he'd on more than one occasion explained that Baku was a bit too big for sex to be comfortable for him, at least without them spending an ungodly amount of time prepping.
Baku, on the other hand, was insatiable. He'd pop boners at the smallest things, often having to take cold showers or jack off, sometimes multiple times a day. Still, he never expected Baekjin to put his comfort aside. They didn't have to fuck, but Baku would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit disappointed that Baekjin wasn't more interested in occasionally doing stuff.
Baku would be happy with anything, a hand job, some dry humping, even just a make out session, but Baekjin would always shoot him down, saying he was busy or not in the mood. It was honestly starting to get Baku down, didn't Baekjin find him attractive? Did he not want to be close with Baku?
Now that the thought of sex has entered Baku's mind, he can't shake it off. Despite knowing he's probably setting himself up for rejection again, he gets off Baekjin's bed and approaches his boyfriend, wrapping himself around him from behind.
"Baku." Baekjin warns, but Baku doesn't respond, instead he starts placing soft kisses on his boyfriend's neck. He gets to place three kisses before Baekjin pushes him off, snapping at him. "Can't you see I'm busy? If you're that desperate, you know where the bathroom is. You've got hands, don't you?"
Baku had been expecting rejection, but hearing the words leave Baekjin's mouth still stings. The way he says them, his choice of words, desperate, like Baku's a burden got him pulling back immediately and going for his phone. He can hear Baekjin sigh behind him, "I didn't mean—"
"I should go. I promised dad I would help out at the restaurant." He lies. They both know it's a lie. The restaurant is always closed on Tuesdays, so there's nothing for Baku to help with, but he doesn't really care, he just needs to leave. He can't even look at Baekjin right now, scared that if he do, he'll start a fight, or worse, burst into tears.
Humiliation burns under his skin as he leaves, ignoring Baekjin calling his name. Other than the call of his name, Baekjin does nothing to stop him from leaving. He doesn't follow him, doesn't try to call or even text him.
Despite the rain pouring down, Baku walks home, trying to convince himself that Baekjin hadn't meant it like that, he's just stressed. This time it's harder to believe that.
The next day, Baku tries to pretend everything's fine. He's cracking jokes and being loud as usual, but he can see the worried glances Gotak keeps throwing his way, but he doesn't say anything. Baku doesn't either. He knows Gotak will ask later, when they're alone, but for now, Baku gets to continue on as if nothing is wrong.
When the last bell ring, they all meet up by the front gates. Baku, Juntae and Sieun, decides to go for food, since it's a while before they need to head to cram school. Suho's already gone as he's filling in for one of his coworkers who's sick. They all turn to look at Gotak, who shakes his head. "I can't. Mom promised Aunt Kim next door I'd help her set up her new shelf after school." Seeing their disappointed reactions he continues, "Sorry guys, I'll join next time."
The conversation between them flow easily as always, when they get to where Gotak's supposed to part from them, Baku gets held back with a hand wrapped around his wrist, "I just remembered I had to tell Baku something from my mom, do you guys mind going a head? I won't keep him long."
Sieun and Juntae agrees easily, saying they'll order his usual while they wait, before bidding Gotak goodbye. Baku watches as Juntae presses his lips to Gotak's, his chest tightening with something akin to jealousy at the way Juntae gets to kiss his boyfriend whenever he wants to, even in public. Gotak's hand stays wrapped around his wrist until their friends are gone.
Then he turns his gaze to Baku, eyes full of worry. "What's wrong? Did your dad do something again? Do you want to sleepover tonight?"
The hurt he's been carrying since last night dissipates at the worry in Gotak's eyes, the care in his words. For the first time that day, Baku finds himself giving a real smile, shaking his head. "No, just a fight with Baekjin."
"Oh." Gotak replies, clearing his throat, trying to act nonchalant, but Baku can see the relief in his eyes. "You can still come over later if you want?"
"Yeah," Baku agrees easily, "I have to help my dad at the restaurant, but that's not until later. I'll come after I've eaten with the guys."
Baku feels lighter than he has all day when they part, looking forward to both the meal and the fact that he gets to see Gotak again later.
"What are you guys talking about?" He asks when he sits down at their table. It's obvious they're in the middle of a conversation. Juntae looks a bit uncertain, but Baku can see Sieun giving him an encouraging nod, which only makes Baku more curious. "What?"
After a moment of silence, and Juntae steadily getting redder in the face, Sieun sighs before turning to Baku. "Juntae was asking for some advice. About Gotak."
"Oh?" Now they definitely had his attention, "Well, advice about Gotak is kinda my specialty, what do you want to know?"
Juntae clears his throat. "Well, you see…" He trails off, looking around to see if anyone is listening to their conversation, "Well, we've never… you know..."
"What?" Baku asks and Sieun sighs again before replying for Juntae. "They've never hooked up."
Oh.
It feels like Baku's brain just stopped working, what does he mean they've never hooked up? Haven't they been dating for almost a year? There's so many questions he wants to ask, but the only thing he manages to get out is, "Oh."
"Well, I haven't really minded, cause I'm not sure if I'm ready for it, but it might be nice to do a bit more than just kissing, you know? Like how do I know if I'm ready or not if we never try something new, it's not like I'm not comfortable with him, I know he'd never do anything I wasn't ready for." Juntae rambles on, it's like he can't stop now that he's started, "But then Gotak's never brought it up either, never tried to go further or tried to talk about it. What if he's not ready? Or is he waiting for me to bring it up? Or—"
"Juntae," Sieun cuts in, "Just talk to him. It's Gotak, there's nothing to be scared of."
Juntae turns his attention to Baku then, who's still hasn't said anything since Juntae started spilling his guts. "What do you think I should do, Baku?"
And Baku isn't sure what to say. He can't believe they've been together for almost a year and never done anything more than kiss. Sure, he could understand Gotak being cautious in how fast he went with Juntae, but to never even try to take it to something more than kissing? That must mean that Gotak's unsure about something. Is he scared since it'll be his first time? Is there something else bothering him? Baku feels guilty that he hasn't realized it before now, that Gotak hasn't felt comfortable enough to come to him for advice or to just talk.
"Baku?" Juntae asks, pulling Baku out of the spiral he's going down.
"Yeah, no, sorry." He clears his throat, "Sieun's right, you should, uh, you should talk to him." Baku knows he will be talking about it with Gotak later. There's no reason for neither of them to get something when they're both in relationships, especially not when Juntae sounds interested in taking it further.
Baku enters the passcode for Gotak's place and walks in. It's been a long time since the last time he knocked, both Gotak and Gotak's mom insists he's free to come and go as he pleases, even if they aren't home or if it's in the middle of the night.
He toes of his shoes by the door before heading to Gotak's room, trying to act nonchalant. While he knows he'll be bringing up the conversation he had with Sieun and Juntae, he figured it'd be better to ease into it. He knows Gotak, and the last thing he wants is to make him feel ambushed and shut down.
"Think fast." Baku says to Gotak as he throws a bottle of sprite at him. Gotak startles from where he's laying on his bed, dropping the phone in his hand as he fumbles to catch the projectile Baku just threw at him. He catches it at the same time he calls Baku an asshole and Baku can't help but grin, throwing himself down on the bed as well when Gotak shuffles over to make space for him.
They're silent, it feels more charged than usual. Neither one of them says anything, but they both keep stealing glances at the other, both waiting for the other to speak first. After a while, Baku figures he might as well get the conversation he knows Gotak's waiting for out of the way, so that they can focus on what's actually important. "Just spit it out already."
Baku can't help but laugh at the look on Gotak's face, he was probably ready for Baku to do everything he could to not have this conversation. And usually he'd be right, it's just that today, Baku's a man on a mission and one unwanted conversation is not about to deter him. Gotak clears his throat. "Uh, what happened yesterday? With Baekjin?"
"We had an argument. Well not really, Baekjin's just really stressed lately and you know how he is." It's not the full truth, but he doesn't really want to go to deep into it. He can see the face Gotak pulls. He knows Gotak, and their other friends, aren't big fans of Baekjin. They don't really hide it and have told him multiple times that they think he deserves better. "Baekjin said some stuff, I left. We haven't talked since."
"Him being stressed doesn't excuse him treating you like shit." Gotak says, serious in a way he usually doesn't get, and yeah, Baku knows he's right. For a second, Gotak watches him without saying anything else, before he continues, "You know I'm always here if you need to talk right? About anything."
"Yeah." Baku manages to force out, suddenly feeling emotional. They fall back into silence, this time a lot more comfortable than before. Baku keeps glancing at Gotak, who's back to scrolling on his phone, trying to figure out how to broach the subject he's actually interested in discussing.
A few more minutes passes by in silence before Baku clears his throat, getting Gotak's attention again. "Actually, there is something I want to discuss."
"Okay." Gotak says, putting his phone down again, giving his full attention to Baku.
"It's, uh, it's about you. Well, you and Juntae." Baku internally cringes over how awkward he sounds.
"Me and Juntae?" Gotak asks surprised, "What about us?"
"He was kinda asking us for advice when we went for food." He can see Gotak wanting to ask, but he doesn't, instead he waits for Baku to continue. He's come this far, might as well just get it over with. "About the fact that you guys haven't hooked up yet."
Gotak's face flushes red immediately, breaking eye contact. "You know everyone's first time is awkward, that's not a reason not to do it. Juntae sounded interested in taking things… further."
Gotak still isn't looking at him, instead picking at a thread on his sweatpants."It's not— I'm not— Just forget it, okay?"
"Gogo…" Baku begins, but trails off. He isn't really sure where to go from here, should he continue pushing?
"Let's just leave it, please?" Gotak practically begs, and Baku's about to comply when, the thought hits him.
Oh.
"Is it— Are you, like, really small?" He begins tentatively, not wanting Gotak to feel judged. "If you are, that's okay, I mean, Juntae can always top, you know?"
At his assumption, Gotak immediately goes a couple shades darker, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. After a few more seconds, he finally lifts his gaze to meet Baku's again, searching for something. Eventually he sighs, "Between us?"
"Of course." He agrees easily.
They fall silent again, whatever Gotak's about to tell him, it's obviously hard for him to talk about, so Baku doesn't rush him. Let's him take the time he needs, trying to be ready for whatever Gotak's about to say. Though he's pretty sure he's already figured it out. "I don't have one."
"What?" He asks dumbly before he can stop himself, because what? Doesn't have one? What does he mean?
"A dick." Gotak clarifies.
"A dick?" Baku repeats confused back.
"I don't have one. I don't have a dick." There's a million questions running through Baku's mind, what does he mean he doesn't have a dick? How does he pee? Gotak must see the confusion on his face, cause he continue. "The doctors aren't really sure what happened, but I don't have one. I'm still a guy, I just… yeah."
And oh. Everything clicks into place for Baku. It explains why Gotak's never showered in the locker rooms after practice, why he never wanted to go to the bathhouse, why he always seemed to get so uncomfortable in situations when people were getting naked. Baku had always thought he was just shy.
"You've got a pussy?" He blurts out before he can stop himself. Gotak nods, but doesn't say anything, looking back down at the thread he'd been pulling at earlier. This wasn't going the way Baku thought it would. He thought he would talk his best friend, encourage him to finally hook up with his boyfriend, instead he found out said best friend has a pussy. And now there's only one thought on his mind, "Can I see it?"
"What?" Gotak asks shocked, looking at Baku with wide eyes. In any other situation Baku would've laughed at the expression on his face, but right now, he's got a one track mind.
"Your pussy, can I see it? I've never seen one before." He says, as if it's the most natural thing in the world for him to ask. Gotak continues staring at him with wide eyes, not saying anything. "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
Baku can see Gotak mulling it over, his bottom lip is back between his teeth, looking uncertain. So Baku does the only thing he can do, puts on his best puppy eyes, "Please, Gogo?"
Gotak looks at him for a second, before looking over at the open bedroom door, then back at Baku, pink dusting his cheeks. "Fine, but close the door."
While Gotak pulls his sweatpants and underwear off, Baku's quickly closing the door before getting back on the bed. He watches as Gotak sits, back against the headboard, legs up to his chest.
Baku's heart feels like it's about to beat out of his chest, but he doesn't say anything. Giving Gotak the time he needs to feel comfortable, and when Gotak meets his eyes, he gives him a reassuring look. The tension between them are palpable.
After a moment, Gotak lets his knees fall slightly outwards, legs spreading. Baku's eyes trails from Gotak's bare legs, to his thigh, before they land on his pussy. He draws in a sharp inhale when he sees it, pretty, his mind supplies.
Unable to draw his eyes away, he just keeps staring, Gotak goes to close his legs and before Baku even realizes what he's doing, his hand has reached out and stopped them. Baku shuffles closer, until he's kneeling between Gotak's legs so he can't close them. Then he finally looks up at Gotak with what he knows must be an awestruck look on his face and all he can say is, "Pretty."
Gotak flushes, clearing his throat. "Your turn."
Yes, of course, Baku had promised he'd show his dick if Gotak showed his pussy. And Gotak had showed his, he still was. Baku quickly nods, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear and pulls them down as far as they'll go while he's kneeling.
Gotak takes a shaky breath before his eyes trail down from Baku's face down to his half hard cock, and for a second Baku worries, he hopes he's not freaking Gotak out by having an erection. Scratching the back of his head, he sheepishly apologizes. "Sorry. It likes pretty things."
An incredulous laugh spills from Gotak at the apology, the tension between them melt into something more comfortable as they share a smile, before Gotak looks down at his cock again. But Gotak still isn't saying anything, so Baku feels the need to clarify, "It's, uh, only half hard, I swear it gets bigger—"
"It gets bigger?!" Gotak cuts off, looking completely shocked and pride fills Baku's chest.
"Do you wanna touch it?" He asks, shuffling even closer when Gotak nods. Tentatively, he reaches out and when his hand touches Baku cock, it twitches in response. It doesn't take long before he gets a bit bolder, running his fingers along the length, then wrapping his hand around it, giving it a few strokes. Baku moans, it's been a while since someone other than him has touched it. And it's Gogo stroking him.
His cock is now completely hard, precum leaking from the tip, and Gotak runs his thumb across it. It's probably the best feeling Baku's ever felt, he lets out a groan. "Fuck, Gogo. Can I?"
"Yeah." Gotak agrees and Baku's hand makes it way between Gotak's legs. Fingers trailing along the lips, before he put a bit more pressure, and his fingers slip in between them. The feeling is a bit strange, it's wet and warm, and the little gasp Gotak lets out at the contact only spurs him on more. He wants to hear more, to feel more.
They're so close now. Lips only centimeters apart, their breaths hitting the other. Gotak's hand still wrapped around his hard, leaking cock. Baku's fingers stroking along the wet folds, until they get to his entrance. Carefully, he starts pushing a finger in, and just as he's about to close the gap and kiss Gotak, the front door slams shut.
They leap away from each other, as if someone has poured a bucket of ice water over them. Quickly they both get dressed, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. As if they hadn't just been crossing some major boundaries. Baku tries to find a position where his cock, hard and still begging for release, won't be visible, when the door to the bedroom opens.
"Hi boys," Gotak's mom greet them, "You staying for dinner, Baku?"
"I, uh, no. Not today." He stammers out, before clearing his throat. "I actually have to go, need to help my dad at the restaurant."
"Another time then." Gotak's mom smiles at him.
He nods before turning to Gotak, "See you tomorrow?"
And as soon as Gotak nods at him, he's out of the room, putting on his shoes and leaving the house.
Baku can't stop thinking about Gotak. He's on his mind all the time. No matter where he is or what he's doing, Gotak's on his mind. More specifically, the image of Gotak on his bed, naked, with his legs spread. It's both the best and worst thing that's ever happened Baku.
They haven't even been able to talk about it. It's not like they're avoiding each other, not at all, they see each other every day and they're not awkward. Sure, the air between them feels more charged, and Baku can tell Gotak too wants to talk about it, they just haven't had the opportunity yet. It's not like they can bring it up when they're hanging out with their friends, and Gotak's boyfriend, or around the dinner table with Gotak's mom sitting there.
On one hand, it's done wonders for his relationship with Baekjin. They ended up making up the day after Baku was at Gotak's place. He thought he'd feel guilty when he saw him again, but there was nothing like that. Instead, they settled back into a comfortable pace, Baekjin's still mostly focused on his studies, but now Baku's more than happy just scrolling or playing on his phone. He hasn't tried to initiate anything with Baekjin since the time he shut him down and Baekjin seems pleased about it, he's even taken to give Baku a proper kiss whenever he leaves.
That isn't to say Baku isn't still horny 24/7, cause he is. It's just now, instead of getting turned on while looking at his boyfriend, he finds himself getting turned on whenever he's alone. Whether it's when he's in the shower or when he's in bed, before going to sleep or in the morning, Gotak's on his mind.
Hand wrapped around his hard cock and he'll jerk off to the mental image of Gotak naked. He'll close his eyes and pretend it's Gotak's hand that's stroking him, like he had in his room. The sound Gotak had made when he touched him playing on repeat. And every time he comes, it's with a Gogo slipping out from his lips.
The worst is how it's making Baku look at Juntae. He hates having to watch Juntae kiss Gotak and whenever the two of them have plans alone, Baku's nervous. More than once, Baku's played dumb to crash their date and Juntae being so sweet, never tells him no.
He knows he should feel bad about it, that he should stop, but he can't. Will Juntae bring up wanting to go further with Gotak? Will Gotak agree and tell him about his secret? Will he let Juntae see it and touch it the same way he'd let Baku? It makes his chest burn with jealousy. The thought of Juntae getting to be with Gotak that way makes Baku nauseous.
Three weeks passes like that, then Sieun invites all of them over to his apartment. It's a Friday, and his parents are away, which means it's the perfect opportunity for them all to get drunk, play some games, before they all pass out.
And Baku's hoping it'll be the perfect opportunity for him to figure out what's going on with Gotak and Juntae. He needs to know.