Chapter Text
Azul was gay he always knew that. It wasn't a frowned upon thing where he came from. Merfok had bigger things to worry about rather than who likes who. Homophobia wasn’t a thing to think of.
Azul had been crushing hard on Jamil. He'd even dare say he was in love. Not a day went by when he wouldn’t think about jamil. The way his hair fell so perfectly around his shoulders. The way he would smile when something stupid was said. The way he would roll his eyes when azul walked by. It was safe to say Azul was infatuated with love and admiration.
Jade and Floyd would tease him mercilessly about it . Not that he cared so much. Azul was a business man falling for their teasing was beneath him. Plus he was used to such things by now.
Azul though jamil wouldn't feel the same and that stung more than he’d ever admit to anyone let alone himself.
.
.
.
.
…………………………………..
Azul had been preparing the mostro lounge for valentines day. This day always brought in heaps of cash and to azul that was all that mattered to him.
He and Floyd had been putting up heart shaped banners. If you asked him as a kid he would say this was tacky. hell he would say the whole holiday was tacky.
He still remembered the first time he had heard of the holiday. At the time he thought it was a useless human tradition. Now not so much. He was fondly reminiscing when Floyd spoke
“ hey azul you think i could have the day off” floyd spoke from the bottom of the ladder
“ Absolutely not Floyd, you know how much money we make on valentines day? I need all the hands I can get !”
“ But I have a dateee!” floyd complained “can’t abandon goldfishy on valentines day especially since he’s only agreed to one date” he mumbled
“ YOU WHAT” azul sputtered and fell off the ladder.
As he got up he spoke “ you have a date. Who is riddle, riddle rosehearts as in the housewarden of heartslbul.”
floyd rolled his eyes “ yesss thats why i need the day off i only have one chance!”
On one hand azul had known how much floyd had been pining for riddle and on the other he needed the hands. Azul sighed and muttered “ fine you can have the evening off floyd.”
Floyd looked shocked before thanking his boss and the two got back to work
…………………………………………
Later that evening azul was lying in bed thinking over the day's events. Remembering the conversation he had with Floyd when an idea sprang to life. If Floyd could ask out his long term crush so could he. And so he made a plan.
Azul had woken up earlier than usual one to make sure the lounge prep had been done for the day and two because he needed to run to Sam's shop.
As Azul browsed through the shelves he bumped into kailm.
“ oh hello kalim how are you this..fine day”
“ HI AZUL I’M GREAT AMAZING EVEN!!” Kamil shouted
“ ow that was right in my ear. .. Well that's good, what are you doing here might I add?" Azul asked .
“ sorry azul!! I’ll quiet down. What was I doing?….oh yes your question! I’m here getting a gift for Ruggie. I’ve decided to confess to him!! Oh I hope he says yes!!” kalim then went on a 5 minute rant about Ruggie.
It’s not like Azul didn’t care about his friend's love life. It was just he didn't care at that minute he had other things to do. “ Well that sounds lovely kalim but I need to do something.”
kalim stopped rambling and asked “oh yeah? Fair, I need to go back to looking anyway, have fun!” with that kailm walked off and azul was left alone. As he looked his eyes darted from shelf to shelf taking in all the objects when his eyes landed on a gold and red hair comb.
He picked it up to inspect it. The comb itself was gold with rubies along the top. And a snake carved of jade ?? Emerald ?? wrapped around that handle. He lifted it to the light and watched how it shone nearly as bright as jamil. “Wow” he put it in his basket and walked on.
He approached the till and found roses on sale. “ hello there dear valued customer how may i help you today”
“ ah hello sam uh do you know any flowers that would be appropriate for today”
“ I can definitely help you there!” Sam walked out from behind the counter and led azul to the side of the shop.
“Here you will see I've ordered in a lovely collection of flowers. Might I suggest roses? They are the most popular this time of year.”
azul looked at the flowers. They were all so pretty. Raging from roses,daffodils,hyacinths to elderflower. “ hmm “ he mused "I'll take a bouquet of roses and hyachinths please.”
“ you bet. Coming right up” azul watched as sam went into the back to get wrapping paper for the flowers. He also watched as he picked out the best ones he could find and wrap them without as much as letting a petal fall off. Azul placed the come on the till and asked “how much for all” he fidgeted waiting for a response
“ Hmm 20 thune marks for all of it” azul was floored “ are you shore that sound far too cheap.”
Sam just laughed “think of it as a valentines discount”
Azul nodded and paid, carefully placing the items in his bag. “ uh thank you once again for the discount if you ever come to the mostro lounge your welcome to a free meal” then he turned around and walked out.
Walking back to the dorm, Azul was in high spirits. The sun was rising, the birds chirping ,the wind called and peaceful. Nothing could ruin his mood.
Back in his dorm azul placed his bag on his draws and got ready for the day. The students of nrc had the day of bc its a national holiday on sage island. So that means one thing. The mostro would be packed all day to the point they were booked all day until closing.
Azul walked down to the lounge to inspect everything before opening. Azul went table to table checking everything when he was finally happy he checked the time and opened the lounge.
People flooded in and orders were just as quick to come in. safe to say azul would make a pretty penny today.
……………………………………………………………………..
The day had been going fairly fast at the start but around midday everything felt much too slow. The customer ratio hadn’t changed but once you serve over 20 customers it all feels pretty boring. Plus azul was filled with nerves and excitement. He kept repeating
“ the worst he can say is no and we go back to normal” over and over till the words became slushed in his head.
Azul stood in the corner watching the scene. It was rather pretty. The lounge was full of pinks,reds and whites. Heart filled streamers and balloons lined the walls, while roses in vases sat perfectly centered on white table cloth.
“ Everything has come together rather nicely” he muttered walking in to the kitchen
…………………………………..
Every minute felt agonizing watching the clock tick by. If azul want watching the time he’d be sure it was frozen.
“ oh when will this day end ? I have things I wish to get done!” azul hissed to no one in particular but jade heard.
“ Well, well whats this is our dear azul has plans perhaps with a certain viper ?” azul blushed a soft blue colour
“ Oh go away.” Azul spat back. To no avalie as jade only laughed
“ azul there is no need to be so flustered although i will admit is highly amusing. The worst he can do is say no and you two go back to normal.”
Azul sighed jade was right nothing that bad could happen. “ ok fine your right now back to work your break ended a minute ago and time is money”
Jade giggled as he left for the door leaving azul alone.
………………………………………………………………..
Later that evening azul was closing up. Floyd had left a couple hours ago and from what azul had gathered from jade, Surprisingly, the date was going well. Azul kept thinking about how each swipe, each mop on the floor was one step closer to going and confessing.
He'd been debating the best way to confess and decided to leave the gift on jamils door step and leave a note of his confession.
As soon as the lounge was clean, Azul ran to his room to grab the bag. Before leaving he sent kalim a text.
Azul: hey kalim sorry to disturb you but is jamil about??
.
.
Kalim: no sorry he'll be out for the next couple hours he needed to run an errand. Why ?
.
.
Azul: This is perfect. I need to drop something off at his door. Do you think I could ??
.
.
Kalim: yess ofc !!! You're always welcome!!!
…….
Azul picked up the bag and left. Despite it only being 6pm and two hours before curfew the mirror chamber was pretty desolate. Walking across the room he remembered the first time he'd laid eyes on Jamil.
It was during freshman orientation. The two had bumped into each other. Some heated words were said but all azul could think at that moment was “wow he's beautiful” something about jamil had captivated him and he had been watching from a far ever since
As azul approached the scrabia mirror he was flied with a wave of excitement. He was really going to confess.
Even if jamil said no azul would be fine.
Azul walked into the scarabia Common room where kalim was.
“HI hi!!”
“Hello kalim could you show me what door is jamils ?” Azul felt his hands shake
“ Of course!! Follow me !!”
The two walked down the hall making small talk till they stopped at a door.
“ This is jamils room !! Uhh we can't go in so whatever you need to drop off will have to be left at the door!!”
“Thank you kalim you have been much help this evening.”
“No problem, I'm heading back to the common room now see ya !” And with that he walked away.
Azul carefully placed the bag by the door and with a shaky breath. Azul stared at the door like it might eat him. Before peeling his eyes away and walking down the hall.
. . ………..
Azul was lying on his bed wait
waiting for jamil to call,text anything to indicate that he'd received the gift. When his phone lit up.
…….
Jamil: meet me by the Gardens. Now.
……….
Something about the text made him feel queasy. But Azul got up and walked to the Gardens.
…….
As Azul approached the garden the pit in his stomach only grew when he saw Jamil. The boy he wanted so desperately to be his one and only. The boy he’d go to the underworld and back for. The one he’d give his life for if needed.
Jamil looked so pissed and that made Azul want to throw up because he had a feeling this was his fault as it most often was. When Jamil spotted him he had a look of fury mixed with disgust written on his face. Azul wanted to turn on his heel and run but he didn't; he just approached.
When he got within about 2 meters of Jamil the brunette stomped over yelling.
“ HOW DARE YOU! WHAT IN YOUR RIGHT MIND MADE YOU THINK I’D EVER LIKE YOU !?” azul felt frozen this wasn’t meant to happen
“ i-i er i just needed to say it” azul mumbled
“ YOU JUST NEEDED TO SAY IT ? GIVE ME A BREAK.” jamil looked increasingly mad if that was even possible
“ I'm sorry I'll go..” azul was on the verge of tears but jamill kept on yelling.
“ You're sorry? YOU’RE SORRY? HA AS IF YOUR CAPABLE OF THAT. LET ME TELL YOU HOW I FEEL.” tears were falling from jamil’s eyes.
Azul wanted to do everything to get rid of them for jamil. Even as Jamill was yelling he still only could think how beautiful he looked in the late sunset sky. He asked himself how cruel could the 7 be.
Azul held his breath knowing this would not end well for either one of them.
“ I THINK YOU ARE A SELFISH FREAK AND SHOULD GO. AWAY. SERISLOY HOW DEAR YOU THINK I COULD BE…BE LIKE YOU. I’M NOT A F@GGOT.”
Jamil was crying and gagging. Azul watched the boy yell and scream some more but by this point Azul could only feel the tears running hot and fast down his face. Could only hear as his shattered into a million tiny pieces. His heart was beyond repair but he still selfishly wanted ,Hopped even jamil would look at him and feel the same love he still harbored despite the verbal beating.
Azul looked at jamil and mustered “ your still beautiful”
Jamil stopped yelling for a second, a look of shock and something deeper something Azull couldn't figure out appeared on his face. Just as quickly as he stopped Jamil started yelling again.
“ HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT..HOW DARE YOU I DON’T WANT TO BE SEEN AS.. anything BY THE LIKES OF YOU!” he spat the last word out with so much venom azul wondered if jamil tased the same venom as the one he spat at azul’s heart.
“ we would all be better off if you killed yourself, you un-lovable, gross fagg. go jump of the tower for all I care. I NEVER want to hear or see you again…understod?” azul felt hallow and numb and could only nod as he walked away.
………………………….
Back in his dorm jade asked if he was alright but Azul didn’t answer he wasn’t sure if he could. He walked past and into his room.
“Roses are a pretty shade of red…. I wonder if I am too?” he asked writing letters. Despite the yelling, despite how hurt he was azul still loved jamil and he couldn’t live in a world where he caused his love harm. That was selfish of him right? To live while Jamil wanted him dead?
Azul finished writing and left for the tower.
…………………………
Looking down out the window azul decide his last act would be to give jamil a world where he didn't exist because the brunette was right he was gross, he had been science birth and ugly people don’t deserve love.
“ I don't blame him, “ he said as he jumped.
…………………….
Azul was gay he always knew that. It wasn't a frowned upon thing where he came from. Merfok had bigger things to worry about rather than who likes who. Homophobia wasn’t a thing to think of.
Azul had been crushing hard on Jamil. He'd even dare say he was in love. Not a day went by when he wouldn’t think about jamil. The way his hair fell so perfectly around his shoulders. The way he would smile when something stupid was said. The way he would roll his eyes when azul walked by. It was safe to say Azul was infatuated with love and admiration.
Jade and Floyd would tease him mercilessly about it . Not that he cared so much. Azul was a business man falling for their teasing was beneath him. Plus he was used to such things by now.
Azul though jamil wouldn't feel the same and that stung more than he’d ever admit to anyone let alone himself.
.
.
.
.
…………………………………..
Azul had been preparing the mostro lounge for valentines day. This day always brought in heaps of cash and to azul that was all that mattered to him.
He and Floyd had been putting up heart shaped banners. If you asked him as a kid he would say this was tacky. hell he would say the whole holiday was tacky.
He still remembered the first time he had heard of the holiday. At the time he thought it was a useless human tradition. Now not so much. He was fondly reminiscing when Floyd spoke
“ hey azul you think i could have the day off” floyd spoke from the bottom of the ladder
“ Absolutely not Floyd, you know how much money we make on valentines day? I need all the hands I can get !”
“ But I have a dateee!” floyd complained “can’t abandon goldfishy on valentines day especially since he’s only agreed to one date” he mumbled
“ YOU WHAT” azul sputtered and fell off the ladder.
As he got up he spoke “ you have a date. Who is riddle, riddle rosehearts as in the housewarden of heartslbul.”
floyd rolled his eyes “ yesss thats why i need the day off i only have one chance!”
On one hand azul had known how much floyd had been pining for riddle and on the other he needed the hands. Azul sighed and muttered “ fine you can have the evening off floyd.”
Floyd looked shocked before thanking his boss and the two got back to work
…………………………………………
Later that evening azul was lying in bed thinking over the day's events. Remembering the conversation he had with Floyd when an idea sprang to life. If Floyd could ask out his long term crush so could he. And so he made a plan.
Azul had woken up earlier than usual one to make sure the lounge prep had been done for the day and two because he needed to run to Sam's shop.
As Azul browsed through the shelves he bumped into kailm.
“ oh hello kalim how are you this..fine day”
“ HI AZUL I’M GREAT AMAZING EVEN!!” Kamil shouted
“ ow that was right in my ear. .. Well that's good, what are you doing here might I add?" Azul asked .
“ sorry azul!! I’ll quiet down. What was I doing?….oh yes your question! I’m here getting a gift for Ruggie. I’ve decided to confess to him!! Oh I hope he says yes!!” kalim then went on a 5 minute rant about Ruggie.
It’s not like Azul didn’t care about his friend's love life. It was just he didn't care at that minute he had other things to do. “ Well that sounds lovely kalim but I need to do something.”
kalim stopped rambling and asked “oh yeah? Fair, I need to go back to looking anyway, have fun!” with that kailm walked off and azul was left alone. As he looked his eyes darted from shelf to shelf taking in all the objects when his eyes landed on a gold and red hair comb.
He picked it up to inspect it. The comb itself was gold with rubies along the top. And a snake carved of jade ?? Emerald ?? wrapped around that handle. He lifted it to the light and watched how it shone nearly as bright as jamil. “Wow” he put it in his basket and walked on.
He approached the till and found roses on sale. “ hello there dear valued customer how may i help you today”
“ ah hello sam uh do you know any flowers that would be appropriate for today”
“ I can definitely help you there!” Sam walked out from behind the counter and led azul to the side of the shop.
“Here you will see I've ordered in a lovely collection of flowers. Might I suggest roses? They are the most popular this time of year.”
azul looked at the flowers. They were all so pretty. Raging from roses,daffodils,hyacinths to elderflower. “ hmm “ he mused "I'll take a bouquet of roses and hyachinths please.”
“ you bet. Coming right up” azul watched as sam went into the back to get wrapping paper for the flowers. He also watched as he picked out the best ones he could find and wrap them without as much as letting a petal fall off. Azul placed the come on the till and asked “how much for all” he fidgeted waiting for a response
“ Hmm 20 thune marks for all of it” azul was floored “ are you shore that sound far too cheap.”
Sam just laughed “think of it as a valentines discount”
Azul nodded and paid, carefully placing the items in his bag. “ uh thank you once again for the discount if you ever come to the mostro lounge your welcome to a free meal” then he turned around and walked out.
Walking back to the dorm, Azul was in high spirits. The sun was rising, the birds chirping ,the wind called and peaceful. Nothing could ruin his mood.
Back in his dorm azul placed his bag on his draws and got ready for the day. The students of nrc had the day of bc its a national holiday on sage island. So that means one thing. The mostro would be packed all day to the point they were booked all day until closing.
Azul walked down to the lounge to inspect everything before opening. Azul went table to table checking everything when he was finally happy he checked the time and opened the lounge.
People flooded in and orders were just as quick to come in. safe to say azul would make a pretty penny today.
……………………………………………………………………..
The day had been going fairly fast at the start but around midday everything felt much too slow. The customer ratio hadn’t changed but once you serve over 20 customers it all feels pretty boring. Plus azul was filled with nerves and excitement. He kept repeating
“ the worst he can say is no and we go back to normal” over and over till the words became slushed in his head.
Azul stood in the corner watching the scene. It was rather pretty. The lounge was full of pinks,reds and whites. Heart filled streamers and balloons lined the walls, while roses in vases sat perfectly centered on white table cloth.
“ Everything has come together rather nicely” he muttered walking in to the kitchen
…………………………………..
Every minute felt agonizing watching the clock tick by. If azul want watching the time he’d be sure it was frozen.
“ oh when will this day end ? I have things I wish to get done!” azul hissed to no one in particular but jade heard.
“ Well, well whats this is our dear azul has plans perhaps with a certain viper ?” azul blushed a soft blue colour
“ Oh go away.” Azul spat back. To no avalie as jade only laughed
“ azul there is no need to be so flustered although i will admit is highly amusing. The worst he can do is say no and you two go back to normal.”
Azul sighed jade was right nothing that bad could happen. “ ok fine your right now back to work your break ended a minute ago and time is money”
Jade giggled as he left for the door leaving azul alone.
………………………………………………………………..
Later that evening azul was closing up. Floyd had left a couple hours ago and from what azul had gathered from jade, Surprisingly, the date was going well. Azul kept thinking about how each swipe, each mop on the floor was one step closer to going and confessing.
He'd been debating the best way to confess and decided to leave the gift on jamils door step and leave a note of his confession.
As soon as the lounge was clean, Azul ran to his room to grab the bag. Before leaving he sent kalim a text.
Azul: hey kalim sorry to disturb you but is jamil about??
.
.
Kalim: no sorry he'll be out for the next couple hours he needed to run an errand. Why ?
.
.
Azul: This is perfect. I need to drop something off at his door. Do you think I could ??
.
.
Kalim: yess ofc !!! You're always welcome!!!
…….
Azul picked up the bag and left. Despite it only being 6pm and two hours before curfew the mirror chamber was pretty desolate. Walking across the room he remembered the first time he'd laid eyes on Jamil.
It was during freshman orientation. The two had bumped into each other. Some heated words were said but all azul could think at that moment was “wow he's beautiful” something about jamil had captivated him and he had been watching from a far ever since
As azul approached the scrabia mirror he was flied with a wave of excitement. He was really going to confess.
Even if jamil said no azul would be fine.
Azul walked into the scarabia Common room where kalim was.
“HI hi!!”
“Hello kalim could you show me what door is jamils ?” Azul felt his hands shake
“ Of course!! Follow me !!”
The two walked down the hall making small talk till they stopped at a door.
“ This is jamils room !! Uhh we can't go in so whatever you need to drop off will have to be left at the door!!”
“Thank you kalim you have been much help this evening.”
“No problem, I'm heading back to the common room now see ya !” And with that he walked away.
Azul carefully placed the bag by the door and with a shaky breath. Azul stared at the door like it might eat him. Before peeling his eyes away and walking down the hall.
. . ………..
Azul was lying on his bed wait
waiting for jamil to call,text anything to indicate that he'd received the gift. When his phone lit up.
…….
Jamil: meet me by the Gardens. Now.
……….
Something about the text made him feel queasy. But Azul got up and walked to the Gardens.
…….
As Azul approached the garden the pit in his stomach only grew when he saw Jamil. The boy he wanted so desperately to be his one and only. The boy he’d go to the underworld and back for. The one he’d give his life for if needed.
Jamil looked so pissed and that made Azul want to throw up because he had a feeling this was his fault as it most often was. When Jamil spotted him he had a look of fury mixed with disgust written on his face. Azul wanted to turn on his heel and run but he didn't; he just approached.
When he got within about 2 meters of Jamil the brunette stomped over yelling.
“ HOW DARE YOU! WHAT IN YOUR RIGHT MIND MADE YOU THINK I’D EVER LIKE YOU !?” azul felt frozen this wasn’t meant to happen
“ i-i er i just needed to say it” azul mumbled
“ YOU JUST NEEDED TO SAY IT ? GIVE ME A BREAK.” jamil looked increasingly mad if that was even possible
“ I'm sorry I'll go..” azul was on the verge of tears but jamill kept on yelling.
“ You're sorry? YOU’RE SORRY? HA AS IF YOUR CAPABLE OF THAT. LET ME TELL YOU HOW I FEEL.” tears were falling from jamil’s eyes.
Azul wanted to do everything to get rid of them for jamil. Even as Jamill was yelling he still only could think how beautiful he looked in the late sunset sky. He asked himself how cruel could the 7 be.
Azul held his breath knowing this would not end well for either one of them.
“ I THINK YOU ARE A SELFISH FREAK AND SHOULD GO. AWAY. SERISLOY HOW DEAR YOU THINK I COULD BE…BE LIKE YOU. I’M NOT A F@GGOT.”
Jamil was crying and gagging. Azul watched the boy yell and scream some more but by this point Azul could only feel the tears running hot and fast down his face. Could only hear as his shattered into a million tiny pieces. His heart was beyond repair but he still selfishly wanted ,Hopped even jamil would look at him and feel the same love he still harbored despite the verbal beating.
Azul looked at jamil and mustered “ your still beautiful”
Jamil stopped yelling for a second, a look of shock and something deeper something Azull couldn't figure out appeared on his face. Just as quickly as he stopped Jamil started yelling again.
“ HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT..HOW DARE YOU I DON’T WANT TO BE SEEN AS.. anything BY THE LIKES OF YOU!” he spat the last word out with so much venom azul wondered if jamil tased the same venom as the one he spat at azul’s heart.
“ we would all be better off if you killed yourself, you un-lovable, gross fagg. go jump of the tower for all I care. I NEVER want to hear or see you again…understod?” azul felt hallow and numb and could only nod as he walked away.
………………………….
Back in his dorm jade asked if he was alright but Azul didn’t answer he wasn’t sure if he could. He walked past and into his room.
“Roses are a pretty shade of red…. I wonder if I am too?” he asked writing letters. Despite the yelling, despite how hurt he was azul still loved jamil and he couldn’t live in a world where he caused his love harm. That was selfish of him right? To live while Jamil wanted him dead?
Azul finished writing and left for the tower.
…………………………
Looking down out the window azul decide his last act would be to give jamil a world where he didn't exist because the brunette was right he was gross, he had been science birth and ugly people don’t deserve love.
“ I don't blame him, “ he said as he jumped.
……………………