Chapter Text
You could say that Yubin is naive in romance.
No.
Naive is too abstract.
She is terrible, genuinely without bias.
Is she?
Well, she couldn’t differentiate the feeling of being wanted and the spareness for her boredom.
Those are two contradicting things.
But Gong Yubin just can’t, for the love of her life, identify her own feelings.
—or was it even thoughts instead?
“Yubinie, are you listening?” Yunah’s voice interrupts her thoughts and now she’s back to reality.
Right.
She’s now at the restaurant, eating some fancy dinner that Yunah treats her tonight.
She is dating Noh Yunah. Her 4th date actually, throughout the whole 21 years of her lifespan.
The first one was during her freshman year in high school. Jang Yeeun, tall, smart, careful and charming. Her deep voice is the cherry on top.
They broke up because it felt too stiff and rigid. And they are better of as friends anyways.
Second one was at her second year in high school, Bae Jinsol. Another tall, strong and funny. In Yubin's opinion, she made her laugh the most among her other dates.
Sadly, their relationship seemed like a joke too.
The 3rd one was at her freshman year in uni, Kim Minji, a beauty in her university. Popular, tall, kind, elegant and extremely charming.
And God forbids, of course she's too busy for Yubin's availability.
Now Yubin seems to have a thing for tall people and she can't blame herself for it. She loves a shoulder to lean on.
And Noh Yunah was everything. Tall, strong, independent, charming and loyal. Popular like gold rush. Known as the captain of the basketball team in Seoul Haus University. Full of gold and wins, lifting up the university’s name, the most talented in her peers.
She is perfect and everyone loves her.
And Yubin does too.
She makes her smile a lot. Always by her side in her lowest moments. Always keeping her safe and comfortable.
Noh Yunah loves company. She is always the sweetest when they are on their dates. Taking care of her to the fullest until she was satisfied. Leading their relationship smoothly like an operator. She does not like it whenever Yubin is in discomfort.
“Are you wearing those heels again? I thought it hurt your foot?” She voices out with concern.
Yubin took a peak at her ankle. Her natural pale skin alters to a reddish pink, indicating the discomfort.
“I like these heels.”
Yunah sighs. “But it’s hurting you and I don’t like it. You’ll be in pain.” Yunah claims, slicing her meat. "And you are walking quite loud earlier, it’s not good.”
“I mean it’s a fancy dinner, there’s no way I’m wearing sneakers.” Yubin shrugs, not knowing what to answer. She can hear Yunah breathing out, subtly but noticeable.
Now, this is one thing that Yubin dislikes about Noh Yunah.
Is how she tends to control everything in their relationship.
Yubin did appreciate the efforts and time Yunah provide to her, the comfort, the service, the gifts she receive, the kisses that assures—
And it kinda felt like Yunah was gaslighting her.
As if Yunah was doing all of this to justify her jurisdiction. She’s been treating her like a trophy wife.
One time Yubin was listening to a rock ballad, Yunah tended to question her music taste. Saying it wasn’t mainstream enough or too mellow to settle the room. Telling her to change to a more public taste
“Why do you keep playing this song?” Yunah asked one time in Yubin’s mini studio apartment, while event horizon was playing in the background.
“The lyrics are nice.” Yubin shortly replies, humming to the song. Yunah furrowed her eyebrows.
“Well yeah but don’t you think it’s too sentimental? And you always play it when we are together.” Yunah then takes the remote control to change the song.
Yubin blinked.
It was a romantic song.
Okay, whatever. Yubin understands people have different tastes. After all, it’s just music. It’s nothing deep.
Or is it?
“Are you available tonight?” Yubin changes the topic, preferring to diminish her sullen thoughts. Yunah looks up from her phone.
“I don’t think so. The team will be gathering at 10 for bbq. It’s Minji’s birthday by the way.” Yunah then averts her attention back to her phone again.
Yubin frowns. “Can I call you tonight?”
“I don’t have the time.” Yunah replies, not noticing Yubin’s grip on the spoon had tightened.
It has always been like this. The dynamic relationship since they started dating is only filled with either dinner dates and goodbyes—met at campus, kisses on cheeks and another goodbye and attending Yunah’s basketball competition. She won, she kissed her and goodnight.
Was Yubin too clingy for her? Too idealistic?
Doesn’t that mean she loves her? Wanting her attention and expanding their time together?
Or, was she just feeling lonely and needed a companion?
Isn’t that the purpose of dating? To not feel lonely.
And how come Yubin feels lonelier.
The last piece of meat on Yunah’s plate had been eaten while Yubin’s plate remained half full. Not in the mood to eat.
Yunah then calls the waiter to pay the bills, eyes still glued on her phone.
“Is it okay if you take the cab? I’ll pay for your ride.” Yunah asks, not looking at Yubin at all.
Yubin scowls, she can’t believe it.
“Will you at least wait until the cab arrives?” She asks, simmering hopes if the latter still cares for her.
Yunah sighs again. “I’m in a hurry. Do you need sandals? I have them back in my truck.”
Yubin clicked her tongue.
She dresses prettily today. For the dinner date. Trying the heels she never wore, to match the mood of their dinner to be more romantic. For someone who had no idea what romance is, she had put lots of effort into it. Trying to be idealistic.
Yunah never saw that in her. All the things she does are always about her performative charm.
Don’t get it wrong, Yubin loves being treated like a princess.
But she despises being treated like a damsel in distress.
It infuriates her.
“Noh Yunah.”
“What?”
“Let's break up.”
“GONG YUBIN, OPEN UP THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!” Yubin jolted from her bed at the sound of her door almost tearing apart.
She groans, pulling her blanket to shield herself from the bright world.
The chismosavirus is spreading like fire in Seoul Haus University. Right after Yubin broke up with Yunah last night, Yunah was begging on her knees to rethink her choices. And of course, Yubin did not give a damn fuck.
She immediately storms out from the restaurant, the sounds of heels stomp out so loud it caught everyone’s attention. Yubin ignores the stares she's been receiving.
Yubin then walked to the nearest convenience store, sat in the smoking area and cried. Feeling frustrated and embarrassed—humiliated even.
The first thing she did was calling Sohyun while the latter was at a cafe, doing her casual jam night with her bandmates. The moment she picked up the phone, she was confused about what just happened to Yubin, noticing her nasal muffled voice. Yubin did not explain, she just told her to pick her up right away.
Sohyun left the cafe in a hurry while bringing Xinyu, her girlfriend of 3 years, who could drive faster than her. They then picked Yubin and didn't dare to ask a single question when they saw her hollow eyes. Afraid to open up a conversation, Xinyu only offers her some hershey kisses—Yubin’s favorite.
The whole ride to her apartment was silent. Both Sohyun and Xinyu keep talking too quietly, asking what they should do, should they engage in a conversation or truly ask what is happening but they decided to keep it shut.
They arrive at Yubin’s apartment after those 25 minute ride through the abyss.
“You sure you don’t want us to walk you in?” Sohyun asks again, for the 2nd time and Yubin just nods without a word.
Sohyun then eyes Xinyu.
“Say something,” Sohyun whispers.
“About what? “
“Anything.”
“Darling, make sure you clean up your beautiful face or you’ll get a terrible stye lingering on your eye by the morning.” Xinyu says as matter of fact, her hands engulfing Yubin’s small ones and rubs it delicately.
Thankfully, Yubin giggles at that response.
And that’s enough to assure them.
“Thanks, sorry for the gloomy mood and sudden call.” Yubin says, finally speaking for the first time in that car.
“No worries, Yubinie. Always ring us if you need something okay?” Sohyun pats Yubin’s head and Yubin nods. She then steps outside the car.
“Thanks again, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Yubin waves them goodbye and Xinyu responds with a loud honk, in which Sohyun of course scolds her for doing it. The car then leaves her sight.
Yubin walks into the building, her heels stomping so loud it could defeat the tappers.
She went into her studio, cleaning up her makeup first hands, washing herself clean and applying ointments on her bruised skin from her foot.
She sleeps. Already wanting to finish the day.
And by morning, boom! Her instagram dms and kakaotalks are bombarded by questions. Everyone is asking about her relationship and confirmation.
Yunah must’ve told the basketball team. Otherwise, who would’ve known about it?
“GONG YUBIN, I KNOW YOU ARE AWAKE. I SWEAR TO GOD IN THE COUNT OF THREE! ONE, TWO—“ Right, Yubin was busy reminiscing that she forgot the elephant outside her apartment.
She then jumps out from her bed and rushes to her door, muttering some curses.
“Why is nobody even reporting her loud ass?” She scoffs and opens the door. Revealing Seo Dahyun, her best friend who takes great care of her as if she is her own mother.
Beside her is Kaede. Dahyun's long time girlfriend. Quiet but spiteful when needed and necessary.
“You look awful.” Kaede spats mindlessly, not even bothering to address the mood. Yubin clicks her tongue.
“Yeah, thanks a lot.” She glares at them. “Why are you both so early in here… and how come the securities weren’t escorting you out?”
Dahyun snorted, nose high like pinocchio. “I’m Seoda. I’m harmless.”
Yubin’s forehead twitched. She almost closes her door when Kaede steps on her foot.
“Ah! What the fuck.“
“Oh that must’ve hurt, sorry.” Kaede unapologetically said while Dahyun is already panicking. Checking her pulse and minor injury (more like none) like a future pharmacist she is aiming to be.
“Are you hurt? Pain? Tummy ache? Migraines? Heart failur—“
“Dahyun.” Yubin cuts her off. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure—“
“Look, I appreciate you are looking out for me but I just need some time alone, okay?” Yubin tries to assure her, plastering the cute (not) genuine smile to her senior.
Dahyun frowns. “Absolutely not, you barely step outside when you are in this state.” She argues, already searching up some band aids on her bag.
Yubin had enough.
“Well give me a day and I’ll step on the fucking grass tomorrow!” She huffs out, adding her signature wailing that is always summoned when she is incredibly tired.
“Hey,” Kaede steps in, tip-toeing to Yubin’s face. “You don’t get to talk to my girl like that.” She steps in front of Dahyun, shielding her.
“Oh my baby…you are protecting me…” Dahyun whispers, already getting emotional with her actions.
And Yubin just blinks. A lot. To the couple that is too sweet and corny.
She is pissed.
“Get your cringey stuff out from here, out!” Yubin interrupts, the grumpiness is taking over her, startling the couple.
“Wait Yub—“ Yubin shuts the door. Locking it and jumping to her bed. Screaming on her pillow.
Why is she being pathetic, it was a break up that she initiated herself. So, why the fuzz?
She blasted some music—too loud—that she didn’t care about it. Everyone’s studio must’ve had soundproof walls and she is too lazy to set up for one. Well luckily, she never got any complaints from her neighbours.
Now playing, trust my lonely by Alessia Cara.
The moment her jbl speaker echoed the mini studio, Yubin was drowned into the sound waves.
She was being too loud and she couldn’t care less. Jumping around her studio with her notable jump certificate right on the corner of her desk.
My world is brighter by itself
And I can do better, do better
You and I were swayin' on the ropes
I found my footing my own
I'm a-okay, I'm good as gold
And I can do better, do better alone
Alone, alone—
Another knock interrupts her. Annoyance building up on her face. She ignores it.
Another knock, louder this time. It turns into a banging instead.
“Ugh, I swear to God why won't they leave me alone.” Yubin huffs, reluctantly walks to her door again. She opens the door.
“Dahyun I told you to leave me alone—” Yubin words stop in the middle when she notices this is not Dahyun.
She is way taller, a head taller than Yubin.
And Dahyun is short.
Yubin examines her quietly. The girl is wearing a white t-shirt, with navy jacket draped around her shoulders. Her face looks distressed and tired, eyebags plastering underneath her doe eyes. Her arms and hands were covered up by plasters.
Her eyes looked down to her point of view.
Huh
Yubin had never seen this person before.
Was Yunah this tall?
“Hi, can I help you?” Yubin snaps out her thoughts and crosses her arms. Her body leans to her door.
The girl fidgets her sleeves. Seems hesitant at first. Lips quiver but not unnoticed on Yubin’s gaze.
“O-oh yeah uh hi,” The girl awkwardly starts. “I live one floor down and I believe that’s directly below your unit. No offense, you can do whatever you want but the music you were blasting is way too loud and you are causing a mini earthquake. I have been working on a final project and yeah you can see it yourself.” She then shows her arms, the plasters that Yubin had just witnessed.
Yubin just stayed nonchalant. Confused even. She had lived in this studio apartment since her freshman years until her 3rd year and this is her first time being confronted by her neighbours.
And she was being so sensitive today that she didn’t have the time to think much.
“Oh sorry, it’s just that my neighbors never really complained. Have you tried plastering some soundproof walls? Isn’t that an inquiry to live here?” Yubin asked, raising an eyebrow. Gaslighting at its finest because she herself did not even set it up for her living room.
The girl blinks. And rubs her neck.
“I just moved here last week.”
Yubin laughs, too sarcastically.
“Well, it’s on you then. Read the contract newbie.”
The girl’s brows bumped into a scowl, not accepting her disclaimer.
“But you are jumping on your floors. How is that my responsibility?”
“And my former neighbors never said a word about it.” Yubin replies back.
“Why are you being a bitch?” The girl spats mindlessly.
Yubin’s forehead puckered.
Now that crosses the line.
A stranger she just met for not even 10 minutes, a newcomer and calling her a bitch?
That just struck a nerve.
“Who are you to call me a bitch?” Yubin’s expression changed, glaring at the girl with so much intensity.
The girl’s eyes widened. “Wait—no I didn’t mean that—”
“You did.” Yubin cuts her off. “You are new here, knocking on my door and telling me what to do and calling me a bitch when you don’t know anything about me?” Yubin gritted her teeth, hands turning red as she cracks her knuckles with her grip.
“This thing would’ve not happen if you read the fucking contract dumbass.” Yubin then slams the door, right onto the girl’s face. Irritated, furious and overall pissed off.
It’s only 10 a.m and she already hates this day.
But that girl—whoever that tall stupidly puppy face girl is, is a major walking hazard flag.
And Yubin wishes all tongues rise against her shall fall devastatedly.
Her curtains are still painted with sunlights when Yubin is awakened by the sound of her phone ringing, groaning with how time moves so slowly today. She rubbed her eyes tiringly, disappointed that she didn’t wake up later.
She picks up her phone. The screen displayed a call by Seoyeon.
Fuck
Yubin braces herself, hands brushing her hair back.
“Hello?” Yubin responses, voice still raspy.
“Where are you?” Seoyeon asks, softer than ever. Yubin can hear the loud chattering voices on her call background.
“Apartment.” Yubin yawns.
“Apartment?” Seoyeon repeats.
“Yeah.”
“You do know we have class right?” Seoyeon remarks, her voice lowered for a brief moment.
Yubin just hums, and Seoyeon is not buying it. She groans, “I mean, it’s only been the first day of a new semester and an elective. It’s not that important.”
“Oh nu uh honey,” Seoyeon replies with an exaggerated tone. Yubin groans. Why does she suddenly have 2 moms on campus?
“The professor signed up to groups of 2. I don’t know who you end up with—but she came a bit late and somehow you and her ended up together.”
Yubin still remains calm. Not really give a damn about the class. “Oh? Okay.”
Seoyeon is taken aback with how casual Yubin is. “Not even bothering asking who it is?”
“Well you did tell me you don’t know her.” Yubin shrugs.
“Fair point…” Seoyeon furrows her brows, completely ignoring how Dahyun is glaring at her because she keeps taking her french fries.
“Oh, is that Yubin? Hi how are you, oh my God, why are you dying? Have you eaten? What about wagyu on 55 street, Seoyeon is paying.” Dahyun takes Seoyeon’s phone and mutters a sentence without taking a single breath that Yubin somehow caught it all up. Seoyeon scowls at her, flicking her forehead causing the girl to wince in pain.
Yubin smiles. Dahyun is always worried about her.
“I’m fine, really Dahyun. Thanks for looking out for me.”
Dahyun sighs in relief. “Great to hear that—”
“Oh! About your partner," Dahyun interrupts herself, "The assignments are gonna be uploaded at the server. Your partner is a cutie by the way.”
Yubin’s eyebrows raise at Dahyun’s unusual chirpy tone.
“Are you cheating on Kaede?”
Dahyun gawks at that question while Seoyeon almost chokes at her fries. “No fucking way. I just said she’s cute.”
“I am so telling Kaede.” Yubin teases, she can hear Dahyun’s huffs out in annoyance.
“And I am so revealing that you cried like a baby when you dump your ex.”
Yubin scowls at that. Ugh of course. There is no way Sohyun and Xinyu wouldn't talk about what happened last night to her.
“Ugh whatever—I’m not going to class by the way.”
Dahyun gasps. “Give some decency, your partner looks like a lost puppy over here because your ass is absent.”
“And that’s on her.”
“Gong Yubin.” Seoyeon calls out.
“15 minutes. I’ll take a bath first.” Yubin rushes to her bathroom. Ending the call.
Seoyeon and Dahyun just stare at Seoyeon's phone call. Both of them look at each other then look at the empty beside Yubin’s assignment partner.
“She looks familiar.” Seoyeon whispers to Dahyun. Dahyun agrees to it.
“I’d seen her before at the trinity. I think she had done some gigs with Sohyun before.”
Seoyeon’s eyes widened. “Are you telling me she’s in Kim Yooyeon’s friend group?”
Dahyun blinks. 3 times. Absorbing Seoyeon’s statement.
“I don’t know how you conclude that but why are you still in the restaurant?”
“Oh shut up, I was just asking.” Seoyeon threw a napkin at Dahyun's face.
Yubin arrives at the class with no suspicion. The professor is nowhere in sight and she enters quietly through the back door.
The elective course that they were taking is just a basic general education of issues and philosophy—to help undergraduate students to enhance their critical thinking but Yubin just chose the course to meet the requirements of her credit hours. Yubin is a nursing student and this course felt like a waste of time. It gets to the point that she does not bother to know what it even offers other than additionally to meet Dahyun and Seoyeon.
She sneaks up behind them.
“Boo!” Both of them scream with Dahyun screams the loudest, earning glances from other classmates.
“The fuck is wrong with you!” Seoyeon smacks Yubin’s shoulder so powerful it causes her to stumble a bit.
Yubin just stuck out her tongue, a form of mockery. She looks around her surroundings. This is a lot of people, filling in an auditorium with a capacity of 250 seats.
“Where’s my partner?” Yubin asks. Both of them point at the one who’s sitting a bit further down. Alone, with a white hoodie up.
Yubin grimaces. “Is it a guy?”
“In what century have I ever complimented a guy?” Dahyun claims, eyes in disapproval. Yubin shrugs.
“Well go there, talk with her!” Seoyeon pushes her hip and Yubin rolls her eyes. She reluctantly walks down to the stairs, getting nearer to the girl.
Yubin taps on her white hoodie.
“Hey sorry, I’m Yubin and I believe you are—the girl who called me a bitch???” Yubin gasps too loudly, earning Seoyeon and Dahyun’s attention.
The girl in the hoodie is flabbergasted, shocked even. Seemingly surprised and not expecting for Yubin to be here.
Yubin grits her teeth and the girl seemed to notice it. Her eyes shot in panic, “Wait, I can explain please—”
Yubin refuse to listen, she was already annoyed the moment she saw the familiar face. Without hesitation, she stomps out from the place, back to Dahyun and Seoyeon.
Both of them are gagged. Jaw dropped at the same time.
“Now, what the hell just happened out there?” Dahyun asks, eyeballs moving back and forth.
Yubin sits down aggressively beside Seoyeon “That girl called me a bitch this morning," Earning both gasp from them again.
“I knew it! That girl is a friend of fuckass Kim Yooyeon. They are bad people!” Seoyeon unnecessarily adds gas to the fuel, face full of grudges and fist clenches to the air.
“Okay. Slowly, slowly.” Dahyun sits between Yubin and Seoyeon. She is overly confused, however she tries to calm the both of them.
“How and why did she call you a bitch?” Dahyn calmly asks while rubbing Yubin's shoulder, small gesture but thankfully it able to made Yubin calmer.
She huffs out again, for god knows how many times for today.
“I was blasting some songs in the morning and you all knew how it is an inquiry for every apartments to install soundproof walls—”
“Wait, I thought you didn’t install it on your living roo—”
“Not the time, Soda! She is trying to prove her point!” Seoyeon scolds her and you can already imagine Dahyun’s facial expression resembles a confused chihuahua. She’s in disbelief and was undeniably silenced.
Yubin is still frowning, she continues. “—Well, does it justify calling me a bitch about it? Not even Yunah called me a bitch when we were still friends.” Both of them gasp.
“Major red flag, ew.” Seoyeon grimaced.
“Not a cutie but a rudie.” Dahyun claps back.
Yubin ignores their remarks. Her eyes still plastered lasers to the back of the white hoodie girl.
And Yubin couldn't care less if the girl notices her pity behaviour.
The unknown stupid puppybear-like face that pisses her off so much that she had to tell the professor to change her teammates.
Eventually, she did try.
“You want me to do something with the grouping?” The professor asks, a middle aged lady with short gray hair resembling Miranda Priestley from the devil wears prada.
“Yes professor.” Yubin replies. Fidgeting in the empty lecture hall. Seoyeon and Dahyun are waiting outside.
The professor stares at her, uninterested and bored. “I have 226 students taking this course, each already lining up their partners and not a single complaint about their grouping as I give them freedom of choice.”
Yubin rubs her hand awkwardly. “Well—I didn’t get to choose..”
The professor is not convinced. “Do you perhaps have trouble with your partner?”
“Yes—”
“Then accept your fate and handle the trouble with grace. You are an undergraduate student darling, not some high school student that gets to complain about their incompetency.” She stands up, eyes not leaving Yubin's.
“You are trained to be in the industry. To work with people, even if you hated them.”
The professor then sat down again, leaving Yubin utterly speechless.
Yubin first instinct is to fight back. To persuade her yet she swallowed down her confidence and pride. She can’t argue what the older lady had said. Everything about what she said is truthful.
Ah, the harsh truth of reality.
“Thank you professor.” She replies instead, and leaves the lecture hall.
“See, I told you she’s Kim Yooyeon’s friend!”
“Yoon Seoyeon, you need to calm down a bit.”
“Absolutely not!”
Dahyun and Seoyeon were about to argue more when they notice Yubin is walking towards them, with an unhappy face.
“I guess your request didn’t get accepted?” Dahyun is the first one to ask, voice concern.
Yubin sighs. “No.”
Seoyeon pats her head gently. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world, kid. Well kinda, because she’s—”
“Kim Yooyeon’s friend. Yeah, Seoyeon, we get it really.” Dahyun chimes in.
“I meant rude—and the fuck is wrong with you, why are you bringing up Voldemort's name?”
Dahyun is about to strangle her but she chooses not to as she is trying to show gestures that make her more elegant and feminine.
Yubin snorts. Finally, a smile after all that wrinkly frown.
“Kim Yooyeon’s friend you said?” She asks.
Dahyun gasps. “I thought we do not speak of Voldemort here!”
“Shut up Dahyun!” Seoyeon hits her shoulder. Dahyun's facial expression is in disbelief.
“I swear to God I will drag you to hell with me—”
“How do you know about that?” Yubin cuts Dahyun ramblings, her attention is now fully on Seoyeon only. Ignoring how Dahyun gives them 2 middle fingers up.
Seoyeon then shows her phone screen. An Instagram story of the account whose name shall not be spoken of.
Yubin looks at her like she's crazy.
“Are you seriously still stalking her—”
“She liked one of my post yesterday. I swear she’s so obsessed with me.” Seoyeon explains, too quickly and suspicious.
Yubin takes a look at the post properly. A polaroid picture of that annoying girl and Seoyeon’s ex. Both standing so close together that Yubin kinda remembers that Seoyeon used to have an argument with her ex over this picture.
“How come you never see her when you are dating voldemort?” Yubin asks, genuinely. Seoyeon just shrugs.
“I think she was a hockey player? Didn’t get to see her a lot.”
Yubin just hums in response.
Hockey player. Technically a jock.
That explains the superiority.
Dahyun notices her expression went sullen again.
“Okay you know what, instead of lingering on the past which is still frequent and hurt in the meow meows, I’ll treat you to some haidilao! Didn’t you like a pig’s butt?”
Yubin is offended. “It’s a pig's brain excuse you!”
“Still disgusting. Come on ladies!” Both Seoyeon and Yubin groan when Dahyun encircle her arms around their shoulder, putting a bit pressure as if they are trying to escape from her embrace. But deep down, they cheer for the free feast.
Yubin will certainly forget about the incident for a brief. Just a brief.
Until then, she tries to forget everything that had happen on her last 24 hours.