Work Text:
"Hey Jill."
"Yeah Boss?"
Jill turned from messing around with her playlist, eyebrow raised at the sound of Dana Zane's weirdly giddy voice. Her boss was a bit of a weirdo (affectionately speaking) sometimes, but Jill knew something wackier than usual was coming her way.
"I got a new idea for a drink."
"H-huh?" With an actual spring in her step, Dana pulled a paper out from behind her back and slammed it down on the bar in front of Jill. It looked like it was ripped straight out from a personal notebook since Jill definitely saw some kind of doodles on the backside of the paper. She was almost tempted to turn the paper over, but Dana's enthusiasm was just a smidge more intriguing to her. "A...'new drink'?"
"Yup! I put rough flavor profiles on there and everything, I think I got a hit on my hands," Dana answered with a grin, and Jill with ease let the innuendo in that sentence wash past her. She's grown past that kind of immaturity. She's turned a new leaf even. No longer will she...
Jill's face twitched when she actually started reading what was on the paper. Oh no.
The drink description wasn't anything out of the ordinary. It wouldn't be a lot for her to work with if she set out to actually make the drink, but it isn't outlandishly unrealistic. No her problem wasn't with the drink itself. Her problem was with its name.
"So? I cooked, right?" Dana was leaning forward on the bar, her robotic arm bracing her as she tilted her head this way and that.
"M-mhm—" Jill hummed, her voice strangled as she looked away from the page, placing a fist in front of her mouth to try and hide the way she was starting to grin.
A burning sensation.
Out of all the things she could have named it, she chose a burning sensation?
"Do you not like it?" Dana's voice interrupted Jill's mental breakdown, and hastily the bartender tried to take a smooth breath in and out. She failed miserably, falling into a coughing fit in the middle of her exhale.
"N-no—! It's— pff— i-it's great. Creative." Dana did not look convinced.
"You know I value honesty here. If it sucks, I'll just have to show you an even better one." She has another one?
Without giving Jill any time to prepare herself, Dana pulled another paper out from thin air. At first, Jill was struck with fear, because she was sure she wouldn't be able to handle another blow of this magnitude. Then, she found hope in her heart. Maybe that one was a fluke.
Her hope was a deceiver.
"'Strapped and loaded' is much better, right? Flavor that hits you in bursts, good for the experienced drinkers we've got coming." Jill was going to pass away.
Jill breathed in and out through her nose, squeezing her eyes shut, and put every morsel of her concentration into keeping calm and collected.
This was fine. She was normal. Everything was not horny, but boring and not the least bit giggle worthy.
"While we're at it, what do you think about my 'Wet Dream' concept?"
Jill doubled over behind the counter, crouching on the floor, with a hand over her mouth that was doing nothing to silence the loud cackles pouring out of her.
"Oh? What's so funny? Why're you laughing at my Wet Dream, hm?"
"S-stop saying it p-plehehehease—" Jill begged, pressing her forehead against the hard wood in front of her, her eyes blurring with tears from the stupidity of it all. Oh she was embarrassed as hell right now but she just couldn't stop laughing, this was awful. And even worse was the shit-eating grin Jill could just hear in Dana's voice.
"Are my naming skills really that bad that you're laughing at your poor boss? I can drop your pay, you know. Minus one dollar for every giggle you let out at Strapped and Loaded's expense. Apologize to Strapped and Loaded right now."
"Pfffffft— hahahaha!"
"Hey Boss sorry I'm la— woah what's going on here?"
"Hey Gil, I was just telling Jill about my Wet Dream."
"SNRK!"
".... h-huh???"