Work Text:
Scratchy’s Attempt at Revenge
Scratchy wanted his revenge against Itchy for his attempts to kill him. They ranged from the moon falling on him, being burned, cut up, blown with dynamite and many other surreal things. After talking to a cartoon rabbit, he learned an important secret about toon mortality. Scratchy knew the perfect weapon to “kill a toon”, which was “Dip.”
Scratchy said “I am going to use dip on Itchy and he WON’T come back”. So, Scratchy decided to get a super soaker full of dip he bought from a cartoon porcupine who ran an illegal business. Scratchy decided to test it on a cartoon duck talking on his cell phone while watching Bring It On(2000) in theaters and it hit the duck. The duck dissolved into nothingness and could never come back.
Scratchy saw Itchy outside his house killing other cartoon cats with dynamite in a crude imitation of bowling. Scratchy tried aiming at Itchy and it hit a cartoon squirrel by accident. Itchy of course knew what was going on and given how sadistic Itchy was, he then laughed and decided to trick Scratchy. Itchy said that “I won’t kill you ever again”, which was a total lie. Scratchy decided to drop the dip gun as a result
Scratchy was offered sandwiches where instead of mustard, Itchy used dip he too had obtained from the same porcupine. Itchy decided to give Scratchy the “mustard and ham sandwiches” and then the cruel twist hit. Scratchy ate the sandwich and then dissolved into nothingness. Itchy had won predictably, but he was bored and Scratchy was now permanently dead.
The End.