Work Text:
Scene: fancy party in London
Ellis is sitting by himself
Magnus: “Care for a little company?”
Ellis: “I thought I was ostracized!”
Magnus: “Not by me! Never by me. But I did read what you wrote about that war operation, and now Brexit – clusterfucks both of them.”
Ellis: "Exactly. It appears you know who I am – may I ask who you are?”
Magnus: “Magnus Knudsen, visiting your country from Denmark. “
Ellis: “The pleasure is mine, absolutely. What brings you here?”
Magnus: “Quite a few things, actually. I am professionally an actor, but it is more complicated than merely looking for a gig.”
Ellis: “Have I seen you in anything?”
Magnus: “Perhaps, but I was hardly recognizable, with blonde hair and blue contacts. I played ‘Death’ in Pablo Berger’s film 'Torremolinos 73'. I think you know fanfiction – that was a fanfilm, a tribute to Ingmar Bergman’s film ‘The Seventh Seal’.”
Ellis: “I have not seen Torremolinos 73 but I am a huge fan of The Seventh Seal.”
Magnus: “As expected, your taste is excellent. Shall we get a drink?”
Ellis: “Please!”
Magnus: “Was that you writing ‘We now live in a post-factual democracy. When the facts met the myths they were as useless as bullets bouncing off the bodies of aliens in a HG Wells novel.’?”
Ellis: “No that was my friend Nicholas, but I agree with him completely.”
Magnus: “Beer – malt does more than Milton can
to justify God’s ways to man.”
Ellis: “Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where,
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer.”
Both: “Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet,
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew.”
They go off together.
OoOoO
The next morning in Ellis’ flat. The two have obviously spent the night together.
“Are you awake?” Ellis asks.
“Yes in so far as possible” replies Magnus. “That was some night!”
“I have been ostracized for some time – you don’t know how much that meant to me, both the sex and the conversation.”
“I know what you mean” said Magnus. “I get ostracized too. It is an occupational hazard.”
“People ostracize a handsome actor like you? I don’t believe that.”
“Well it is more complicated, like I said at the party. Get some coffee or tea and I’ll tell you about it.”
Ellis brings tea and cakes.
Magnus begins:
“Remember when I told you I played ‘Death’ in Pablo Berger’s film? Well I actually really am death, and I am sort of on holiday traveling around to see what people think of me. You wrote in those war stories ghastly descriptions of men dying for no reason except managerial incompetence. I’d like to discuss it with you if you are up for it.”
Ellis gasps. “That is a hell of a way to start the morning after conversation – you do know that don’t you?”
“Yeah but it is a hell of a way to start any conversation, so I thought why not?”
“Fuck. I get lucky for the first time in months, and my date is fucking death?”
“At your service. And on holiday, don’t forget.”
OoOoO
“So why were you in that film” Ellis asks.
“I thought it was a way to creep up on interacting with humans, at least ones that are alive and are probably going to stay that way for some time. It is not an easy thing to do you know.”
Ellis says: “I really only know the Bergman film – can you tell me about the Berger film?”
Magnus says “I can do better than that” and he swipes his hand and a screen shot appears suspended in the air. It shows a film crew filming a man in a cape and black speedos.
“That’s me in the cape.”
Ellis says “OK I got it – fanfilm like in fanfiction. I know how these tributes go.
So, what did you want to talk about now that you have tea and a cake, not to mention last night?”
“I want to know why you guys think what I do is so awful. I really see no other solution, and I relieve pain and suffering when I come.”
“Yeah and you take away life. It is end-of-story when you come.”
“That is so ludicrous. It is NOT end-of-story.”
“Why not?”
“Because it is all augmented reality anyway! You get the afterlife you anticipate. If you are a lover of BDSM you get a canonical Hell. If you are a Pantheist, it is sort of a Garden of Eden. If you love animals, it is beyond the rainbow bridge. Why do I have to explain this to you – you are very smart and I thought you would have figured it out already.”
“So we get the augmented reality we were already constructing, sort of like on earth we get the life we project onto our surroundings?”
“Yeah, that is it. Snowden said that he lives in the world although he sleeps in Russia. It is like that – you live where you project yourself, even though you may have to sleep elsewhere.”
“What if I want to come back?”
“Make your augmented reality include reincarnation. It is really simple – don’t over think this problem.”
“My head hurts. Are you up for some make up sex? I have had a hard morning.”
OoOoO
“For a guy on holiday, you sure know how to give la petite mort! I am beginning to think it was worth it -- meeting you, the whole thing.”
“At your service, as always.”
“What should I do with this new knowledge?”
“Yeah, well it seems obvious to me, you’re a writer and augmented reality is the hot new thing -- can’t you work up some good PR for me?”
“You of course mean a simulated experience, sort of like a near death experience. A real death experience is neither legal nor my proclivity.”
“Yes – simulated. Take the fear way so my job is less depressing. Spin it. You changed the British military command hierarchy with your war stories and this is actually a lot easier.”
“I think I am in love. In an augmented reality way of course, but deeply.”
“Can we make love again? “
“No complaints, but isn’t this a little soon even for you?”
“You know what they say: ‘Death comes when you least expect it . . .’”
They grab each other and start discarding clothes.