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“Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?” Tony intended to show Charles Spencer to the team, to illustrate the consequences of their actions in a directly human way.
Trying to explain anything more complex seemed to fly right over their heads.
But then he paused. Someone stopped up the sink. It directly impacts their own personal convenience and yet, not only did no one admit it, there was not a single scolding word from Captain America, the paragon who grew up in the Depression, when taking care of your possessions led to darned socks and newspaper stuffed shoes.
Apparently, Tony’s possessions should be treated like garbage.
Huh. Tony remembered leafing through a Gideon Bible at a hotel during a boring conference. One verse suddenly came to mind. "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much".
On a whim, Tony looked at Steve and asked, “What are you being dishonest with me about?”
Steve didn’t say anything, but his expression— yeah, that hit a nerve. Sweeping a glance over the others, he noted that Natasha had gone blank. It was her ‘let me think how to manipulate the situation’, expression. Wilson looked indignant, Wanda looked angry, Vision looked confused. Whatever the secret was, Steve and Natasha shared it. Something worse than not telling him that Fury was alive. Something worse than not telling him they were going to slash and burn SHIELD.
Something personal?
Rhodey noticed, too. He didn’t say anything, but he frowned.
“I have an electromagnetic headache,” Tony said. “I’ve been trying to keep the Avengers going, despite a total lack of cooperation from the team. I’ve been dealing with the U.N., the President, and so many alphabet agencies they all run together into a blur in my head. And you know what I’m finally seeing?”
“Tony,” Natasha said, having apparently decided on a plan, “don’t let your ego get out of control. Steve’s in charge of the Avengers. He knows best.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah, no. What I’m seeing is a flawed system. SHIELD was a complex system, and failed due to the multiple layers of complexity. One hand didn’t know what the other thousand hands were doing. It limped on for a long time with parts of it trying to compensate for the other parts.
“The current Avengers system is a simple one. Steve at the top, giving the orders. And me, providing all the infrastructure, and support, with no input on decisions.”
“You wanted it that way,” Steve said, “You said you were busy with Stark Industries.”
“My mistake,” Tony admitted. “On the bright side, since I never was officially an Avenger, nothing more than an unpaid consultant, patriotically donating my time and resources, I can sign the Sokovia Accords as a free agent.”
Tony looked at them all, one by one. “The Avengers is a simple system. It fails in simple ways. What’s nice about simple systems is that it’s usually easy to pinpoint the flaw and learn from it.”
“You’re the flaw,” Wanda snapped.
“Really,” Wilson said, “Steve’s got it covered, we don’t need to hear a business talk.”
Tony raised his eyebrows and looked at the others. Rhodey face-palmed, but Steve and Natasha just looked stern.
Tony smiled. “Great, we’re agreed. The Avengers doesn’t function as a business. The Avengers, a subsidiary of Stark Industries, is hereby dissolved. If you’ll provide a mailing address, your final cost of living checks will be sent within two weeks as a courtesy, since none of you were ever salaried employees. As S.I. owns the rights to the name, you will need to come up with something else to call yourselves if you decide to seek funding elsewhere and continue your activities.”
There were a lot of outraged protests. Tony called the armor, and stood there, safely encased in gold titanium while it raged.
Vision continued to simply look confused. He really hadn’t got Jarvis’s brains. Maybe Thor’s lightning jump-start half-fried them.
From inside the suit Tony sent out orders to the compound staff to lock down and evacuate. He didn’t give Maria Hill any more information than that. Maybe she was part of whatever the hell Steve and Natasha were up to. Shouldn’t have hired her in the first place. Talk about nourishing a viper to your bosom. A black widow was bad enough, but Hill had more experience and was more subtle.
Rhodey got up and shook his head. “Dramatic as always, Tony,” he said.
“Maybe,” Tony said. He was going to find out what Steve and Natasha were hiding. “And maybe not dramatic enough.”
He started to walk out with Rhodey.
Steve’s phone rang. He looked at it, read whatever message he got and said, “I have to go. I’m taking the quin jet.”
“No, you’re not,” Tony said. He was glad he had the suit on, because Steve… no, make it Rogers… looked like he’d attack.
“Peggy just died! I have to go!”
“Buy a ticket.” Tony reached up as Rogers threw the shield at him. Tony caught it. “Thanks. My father loaned this to you for the duration of the war. Mine, now.” Tony turned on his repulsors and flew out of the compound, holding the shield at his side. He watched to make sure Rhodey got out safely, then he leveled out and went to high speed.
“Friday, narrow the search on the SHIELD released files. Find anything that Rogers would want to hide from me.”
“Yes, Boss,” Friday said. “Where are we going?”
“Vienna. I want to up the security for the Accords meeting, just in case Rogers decides to throw a hissy fit.”