Chapter Text
Jason was driving the Batmobile, speeding his way through the streets of gotham. Any other day he would be fucking overjoyed that Bruce would let him anywhere near the car after he crashed it last time but not today,
Not when he had a toddler staring daggers at him directly from the lap of Batman himself.
Long story short on how this came to be?
Magic.
And fuck magic.
Dick got hit with a spell, and the fucker who did it disappeared into thin air you know the classic magician bullshit.
At first Jason thought the damn spell had evaporated Dick, but when he got closer to the pile of the Nightwing costume, there was something moving in it something small.
After a little struggle, a tiny head pried its way out of the clothes.
Batman rushed toward them and was as stunned and speechless as Jason. They just looked at each other and then at the mini-dickwing.
“Well, fuck,” Jason said with a humorless chuckle.
“Fuck,” the little blue bird repeated after him, tilting his head. His voice was soft and high pitched well, like that of a child. Which he was. Right now.
Batman gave Jason a look for teaching his golden boy a swear word.
The small Dickie bird yawned, rubbing his eyes. Jason figured he was about four or five, which in Jason’s book was practically a baby.
Batman took his cape off and wrapped it around Dick, whose clothes were obviously too big on him now, Dick had dozed off maybe the spell exhausted him Bruce gently picked him up.
“We need to take him to the cave. Now,” Bruce whispered, trying not to wake the kid though his tone was serious.
“Well, no shit,” Jason muttered.
Bruce gave him the look again, clutching Dick closer before getting into the passenger seat great looks like he will using fudge and son of a mitch from now on. Jason thought it would be a quiet drive.
But of course Dick had to wake up.
He looked up at Bruce with eyes that practically covered half his face. Then he looked at Jason. Then back at Bruce.
“Good morning,” Bruce said softly ignoring the fact that it was still dark outside. Not like Jason had anything to say about that.
“Who are you?” Dickie asked in confusion.
Jason had been hoping maybe his mental age was still the same.
Guess not.
“Who do you think I am?” B asked um a bit egotistical much there.
Dick looked around, then down at himself, frowning. He tightened the cape around him and looked at Bruce accusingly.
“…Perverts?” he said, narrowing his eyes. Jason almost swerved the damn car.
“No, absolutely not,” Bruce said quickly, clearing his throat. “Do you know what that even means?”
“It means somethin’ bad… why am I naked in a car?”
“Well,” Bruce exhaled carefully, “I can’t explain that right now. But we are not bad people I promise.”
Dick pouted, clearly not believing him. He squinted harder at Bruce. For a solid minute. After a moment, his eyes lit up.
“A bat… Batmaaan?” he asked, leaning closer.
“That’s correct. Do you remember me now?” Bruce replied softly.
“Mmm… maybe. I think I know…” he said, reaching up with his tiny hand to touch Bruce’s cheek. “Brooce?” he added uncertainly.
“That’s right, chum,” Batman said with a small smile.
“Do you know who that is?” Bruce asked, turning Dick slightly so he was facing Jason.
Dick looked at Jason for a few long seconds.
“…Jasn?” he said quietly.
Alright. At least he recognized them. It would’ve been a complete nightmare if he kept thinking they were child snatchers.
“That’s right, Dickie,” Jason said, trying not to sound too relieved. “Do you know what happened to you?”
Dick shook his head against Bruce’s chest, curls brushing against the fabric of the suit.
“Can you tell me how old you are, chum?” Bruce asked gently.
“…Ah… I dunno,” Dick said, blinking up at him.
“That’s alright,” Bruce reassured him.
Jason glanced at the navigation display. “We’re almost there, B.”
“Where?” Dick asked curiously, lifting his head slightly.
“The Batcave,” Bruce answered calmly.
Dick’s eyes widened.
“You live in a cave?” he asked, visibly impressed. Then he gasped softly. “Ohhh… ’cause you’re a bat.”
Jason snorted.
Bruce, of course, sounded far too pleased when he replied, “Something like that.”
Dick nodded seriously, clearly accepting this as perfectly logical.
“Do you sleep hanging upside down too?”
Jason laughed "yeah do you Bruce?"
Bruce closed his eyes for half a second.
“No,” he said evenly. “I do not hang upside down.”
Dickie pouted, clearly not happy with the response and who can blame the kid for being disappointed.
Jason pulled the car in and Bruce got out with dick
Jason got out himself and realized something they had forgotten to give anyone a heads up.
“Hey, you guys are back early, did..... wait who is that?” Replacement said, looking up from the Batcomputer.
“Father, where is Nightwing, and why have you brought a child in the cave?” the brat asked annoyed maybe he thinks bruce brought back a new robin what will he do when he finds out its the old one.
“Well, how about you take a closer look at junior over here,” Jason said.
“Don't tell me…dick?” Tim said, getting closer.
“That’s Grayson!” Damian said, his voice loud.
“Ha, as far as magic goes, this is not that bad,” Tim said, smiling and pinching Dickie’s cheek fondly.
“Wait, does he know?” he added quickly, letting go, realizing it would be scary for a kid to be around masked strangers.
“He seems to recognize us somewhat but doesn’t have any memory." Bruce said "Chum, do you know who these are?”
Dick leaned back, arching his back to look at Tim and Damian properly because obviously he couldn’t turn his head like a normal person. Bruce shifted his hold so he doesn't fall.
“No,” he said quickly ouch. Tim and Damian looked visibly hurt Jason tried not to find it funny.
Well, he didn’t recognize them instantly either. But jason was not going to tell them that.
“They are your brothers, like Jason. Can you look more carefully?” Bruce said, encouraging dick keeping his voice very calm.
“…but I don’t have—” Dick started, but he looked at Damian’s face and decided it was best not to finish that sentence.
Great. Even as a baby dick has more emotional intelligence than anyone here.
“It’s fine. We can just reintroduce ourselves. I’m Tim Drake. Red Robin,” Tim said with a smile of a con artist.
“Red… what happen'd to all the other colors?” Dick asked tilting his head.
Tim glanced sideways at Damian. “Someone stole them from me.”
“I am the superior Robin and the blood son. Damian Wayne,” Damian said, pointedly ignoring Tim.
Dick leaned closer and whispered something into Bruce’s ear. He smiled jason wonder what he said but more importantly. The kid had no clothes.
And there was absolutely nothing in the Manor that would fit him.
“I’m going to go buy him some clothes, then,” Jason said, turning toward the exit.
“Yes. Thank you,” Bruce replied, looking up.
Just halfway jason stopped and turned back.
“…Hey. kids this age dont need diapers do they?” he asked, scratching the side of his helmet.
There was a long pause.
Bruce looked at him for several seconds.
“…Let me ask Alfred.”