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“Sonar,” Robert sighed.
“Bobert,” Sonar innocently responded.
“Sonar.”
“Boberto, my man.”
“Sonar, you can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?”
Robert clunked his head on his desk, ignoring Chase’s indignant squawk from the cubicle over.
“You good, man?”
The sleep-deprived dispatcher glared up at the hybrid, who at least had the decency to look mildly sheepish. “You know you don’t have to keep giving me gifts. When I asked you to stop shipping furniture to my apartment, I didn’t mean you should start dropping off things I can’t afford at my desk.” He held up the box of a brand-new watch way out of his pay grade. “I’d report you to HR, but you’re technically not doing anything wrong right now.”
“But doesn’t your apartment look way more homey now, Robbie?”
“…Yes, it does, but that isn’t the point I’m making right now.” At first, Robert thought the boxes he was getting might’ve been some sort of prank, especially seeing as they were from Sonar of all people, but as the days went on and his apartment slowly became more furnished and unnecessarily lavish, Robert knew he had to put a stop to it.
Sonar fidgeted with the cuffs of his suit as his ears drooped.
…Well, shit. “I mean, I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me, Sonar. Really. It just feels a bit unfair that I can’t repay you for any of it, y’know?”
The hybrid’s ears perked up, and he crossed his arms, sporting a triumphant grin. “No prob, Bob. Not to brag, but I could be giving you way more expensive stuff. Honestly, it’s not too much outta my savings, so you shouldn’t worry about it.”
Robert frowned. “Well, I am worried about it. Why are you going so far with this?”
“Robert Robertoson, this is just my way of repaying you for keeping us on the team. I could tell from Blondie’s face that your little surprise about no one getting fired after Visi’s mission wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Damn, he noticed. “You should be thanking Blonde Blazer, then. She’s the one who fought… talked with the Board on the issue. Her determination is the only reason they even listened.” He wasn’t lying about that, technically.
“Which she only did ‘cause you were the one who tried to make it happen in the first place. Not that I don’t think she doesn’t care, but you give a little more of a shit about us than she does.”
“That’s…” Robert pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Sonar, I’m just happy that you thanked me. Look at Coop. All she did was offer to assassinate anyone I wanted—”
“You plannin’ to cash in on that anytime soon?” Chase interjected. “’Cause I know some shit stains that I wouldn’t mind gettin’ fucked up by that crazy bitch.”
“…I’ll keep that in mind. Like I was saying, Sonar, what I did was a small favor for you, so at most, all you could do was a small favor for me. And what you’re doing goes way beyond a small favor.”
“You don’t understand, Robert!” Sonar stared down the dispatcher with uncharacteristic seriousness. “If I’d gotten kicked from the team… I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. You didn’t just do me a small favor. You saved me from whatever stupid shit I woulda gotten myself into. I… I might’ve ended up joining the Red Ring…”
“You don’t know that.”
“And you do? You've got too much faith in me, Rob. Don’t forget that I’m a villain.”
“Was a villain, Sonar. You’re a hero now. Don’t underestimate yourself.”
Sonar huffed stubbornly. “You’ll see soon enough, Robbie. I’ll prove to you how much you’re worth soon enough.” With that warning, the bat stalked off to start his shift.
“Damn.” Chase affectionally ruffled Robert’s hair. “Teach me how to get a sugar daddy to threaten to drown me in gifts sometime, will ya, kid?
Robert tiredly waved the retired hero’s hand away. “Don’t call it that. That’s not what this is. Just… a Harvard graduate who doesn’t know to properly say thanks. What’s new?”
“You sure it ain’t a little more than that?”
Robert raised an eyebrow.
Chase rolled his eyes. “Kid’s obviously whipped if ya ask me.”
“I didn’t—”
“You did with your dumbass expression. Respect your fuckin’ elders and let me fuckin’ finish,” Chase spat. “He’s been constantly trailin’ you around in the office to talk about twinks or whatever-the-fuck, and he always looks at you like you hung the motherfuckin’ stars whenever you tell him he’s a good boy. For all we know, when those bitches are all out on patrol, he’s probably jackin’ off to your voice over comms—”
“Woah, woah, woah, okay now.” Robert glanced around the office to see if anyone was listening before lowering his voice. “Fine. Let’s say you’re onto something and the guy who won’t stop talking about boobs is into me. What do I do about it?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know?! You’re an adult; sort your own shit out.”
“Wh—”
“Anyway, you notice Sonar’s been talkin’ about boobs way less than before?”
“Um, no?” Actually, Robert had noticed, but he just figured it was because Sonar was trying to focus more on the missions he was getting sent out on. But the reformed villain still kept up most of his usual drug and crypto banter with the Z-Team, which meant…
“Lyin’ motherfucker.” Chase disappeared behind the divider, effectively ending the conversation.
With a tired sigh, Robert put on his headset, drearily responding to the enthusiastic overlapping voices of the Z-Team. Today was going to be a longer shift than usual.
“Listen up, Z-Team!” Robert clapped his hands together, commanding the attention of everyone in the room.
Punch Up put down his phone as everyone in the frame turned toward their dispatcher, Flambae especially looking disgruntled at the sudden interruption of their Invisigal celebration.
“I know you’ve all been working extra hard because of the threat of being cut. Especially those of you at the bottom.” Robert felt slightly guilty at how Invisigal and Sonar visibly wilted, and he pointedly avoided meeting Coop’s narrowed eyes. “After today, I think you guys have gotten much stronger as a team, evidenced by Invisigal’s big success today. You’ve proven that you have the determination to turn a new leaf and make it as heroes. And that’s why… it’s my pleasure to announce that if you manage to keep this performance up without causing too much trouble, no one will have to get cut from the team.”
Punch Up smiled proudly at Coupé as relief slipped through her cool facade, Golem patted Invisigal so hard that the young woman was sent tumbling onto the floor, and Malevola caught Sonar in an affectionate headlock. Prism shot a few celebratory lights into the air, and Flambae added a few of his flames to the light show, which was definitely a fire hazard, but whatever.
“This wasn’t part of the plan,” Blonder Blazer whispered into Robert’s ear.
“Yeah, I know.”
“…You know that they’re going to be really mad if we end up cutting someone after what you just said.”
“Guess that’s another reason the Board will have to follow through with what I said,” the dispatcher replied.
The blonde hero’s eyes widened in realization, and she pulled back, a proud spark in her eyes. “I have to admit… you really might be the perfect fit for the Z-Team.”
“Who? These guys? They hate my guts.”
“And how do you feel about them?”
Robert turned to his rag-tag group of ex-villains and felt a faint smile involuntarily spread across his face. “They’re not half bad.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’re warming up to us,” Sonar teased, still caught in Malevola’s biceps.
“Maybe a little,” Robert admitted, subtly winking at him.
Unexpectedly, Sonar seemed to get almost flustered by the comment, though it was hard to tell since his fur didn’t flush easily. His only visible reaction was burying his head further into Malevola’s arm, who seemed to find something incredibly funny as she whispered something that caused him to start violently shaking his head.
“Don’t hurt yourself there, Batboner,” Robert called before getting dragged by Prism into a selfie.
“Oh, don’t you worry,” Malevola called back. “With you looking out for us, I’m sure he’ll be juuuuust fine.” She burst out into laughter as her roommate started elbowing her in a vain attempt to break free from her grip.
It was around that time that Sonar’s behavior around Robert had skyrocketed compared to the rest of the Z-Team. Coming to chat a bit before and after shifts about whatever popped into his head, doing less drugs during his shifts, being more cooperative with the stupid missions like having to get another kid’s balloon from a tree. Not to mention the appearance of gifts after the battle with Shroud, the first of which being a proper bed. At the time, Robert thought it was simply out of gratefulness for not being cut after being so dangerously close to it, but after what Chase said… “Good work today.”
“All in a day’s work, Bobby.” Sonar leisurely leaned against the wall of Robert’s cubicle, adjusting his tie with his free hand.
Time to test Chase’s theory out… Fuck, I’m gonna regret this. Robert sat upright and reached up to pat Sonar’s head in a similar way he would to Beef, giving his most genuine smile. “You did especially well today, Sonar. Don’t think I didn’t notice the work you’ve been putting in.”
The Harvard graduate spluttered incomprehensibly, and damn it, it was way more endearing than a thirty-one-year-old bat man had any right being. “I— Yeah, I mean— It’s— Gotta say…” He trailed off into silence.
Robert quirked his brow, trying his hardest to maintain a straight face. “…Yeah?”
“U-Uh…” The hybrid coughed into his fist. “Noticed you were wearing the watch I gave you. It, uh, looks good on you.”
“Well, yeah. I’m not gonna waste something you gave me.” The dispatcher adjusted the unfamiliar weight on his wrist. “Don’t take this as an invitation to give me more,” he warned. “Especially things that’ll clash with my ‘broke-ass loser energy’, as Prism would put it.”
“Right, uh…” Sonar awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Had a talk with Mal during the shift, and she said, uh… It probably isn’t the best thing to force that kinda stuff on you.”
Robert leaned back in his chair to give a grateful look to the half-demon standing in the doorway.
Obviously too far to hear anything that the two were saying, Malevola just confusedly gave a double thumbs-up.
“Yeah,” Sonar said wistfully. “Don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like her.” As if realizing how sappy he was getting, he straightened his posture and cleared his throat. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up, Boberto.”
“Figured.” With a tired sigh, Robert stood up to his full height and put a firm hand on Sonar’s shoulder.
“U-Uh…”
“I don’t want you to be stuck on not being able to pay me back, but I think I have an idea on how we can both get what we want.”
“What do you mean by that…?” Sonar’s left ear twitched adorably.
“How does treating me to dinner sound?”
“A-Are you serious?”
Robert rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t. That’s the only payment I’ll accept from you.”
“You really want to… With me…?”
The dispatcher raised his hand from the hybrid’s shoulder to his cheek, ruffling the fur there. “I told you not to underestimate yourself, didn’t I? There’s a lot going on here with this freak that I like. And maybe… if we spend more time together, I’ll find even more things to like.”
“R-Right, yeah…” Sonar slowly nodded, obviously dazed. “Roberto, I’ll make sure to woo you so hard, you’ll be begging to jump into bed with me! But obviously I’d have to decline because I’m a gentleman, and—”
“Sonar.” Robert lightly kissed the bat on the snout to stop his rambling, offering a reassuring smile. “I’ll be counting on you from now own.”
“…”
“…Sonar?”
Without warning, the bat hybrid shrieked, sending the entire office into a fit of hysterics as most covered their ears and let out shrieks of their own.
“OKAY!” Chase yelled. “TAKE YOUR SAPPY FUCKIN’ BULLSHIT OUTTA THIS OFFICE BEFORE I LOSE MY ALREADY DETEREORATING HEARING!”
With that, Sonar whipped around and ran over to Malevola, practically tackling her to the ground.
Being very quick on the uptake, the demon started whooping, calling out the rest of the Z-Team from around the corner to collect her winnings.
Robert fondly shook his head, sitting back down to start clocking out for the day.
“Ain’t you worried ‘bout that motherfucker givin’ you rabies or some shit?”
“That’s your main concern?”
“You want my full list? ‘Cause I’ll be happy to—”
“Yeah, no, never mind.”
“That’s what I fuckin’ thought.”
After a few more minutes, Robert finished up at his desk, rolling his chair back and stretching his arms with a yawn. As he rubbed Beef’s head to wake him up, he almost didn’t catch what was said from the neighboring cubicle. “Hm?”
“I said, fucker, to let me know if that bat ever goes batshit on you. I’ll be sure to learn medical science just so I can take him apart in the most painful and slow way possible while still keeping him alive.”
“…Thanks.”
“Anytime. But also, don’t I say I didn’t warn you if you have a one-night stand you’ll regret.”
“Thought you said Sonar was more serious than that.”
“Are you?”
Robert glanced down at the Twinkie slipped onto his desk at the end of the day’s shift, and he smiled. “Yeah. I am.”