Work Text:
#1
facebook.com
[a picture of an old woman crying. it’s captioned “it’s my 100th birthday and no one has wished me…like this to wish me a happy birthday.” it is obviously AI.]
Bang Chan: Oh no!! I’m so sorry, ma’am. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
↳ minmeong: Idiot.
↳ LINO: this isclearly ai. dumbass
↳ Bang Chan: I was trying to be kind…you should try it.
↳ LINO: fuck…he got us… guess we should just goahead and die
↳ minmeong: Lmao
[video of chan lifting in the gym] The grind never stops! 💪
LINO: ok
LINO: thirst trapping on facebook
LINO: you are such an alpha 💪😤🏋
minmeong: Put your shirt back on and go practice your internet literacy.
↳ LINO: good one minmeong
LYB: wow you’re so strong! 😍
↳ LINO: you are so hot why are you thirsting over idiots on facebook
↳ LYB: thank you!! 🫶
↳ LINO: i thin k you missed the important part of my reply
#2
yikyak.com/baking
flix: [photo of brownies] whipped up some brownies today! ☺️
minmeong: 🤮🤮🤮🤮
↳ flix: 🙁
LINO: icky
↳ gnab: Hey man c’mon. Don’t be a dick.
↳ minmeong: Lino is just sharing their opinion…
↳ LINO: mimmeong youare my hero
↳ LINO: i knew we would meet again… itc ame to me in a dream
↳ minmeong: Oh! You were on Facebook with the dummy and I
↳ gnab: Don’t call people dummies.
↳ gnab: I’m sure that the person on Facebook was only trying to be kind to someone he thought was being shunned.
↳ gnab: I mean, maybe. I obviously wasn’t there or anything haha
↳ flix: thank u
↳ flix: for defending me
↳ gnab: :)
#3
instagram.com
[picture of a smiling baseball team] We’re proud to announce that our team GPA last semester was the highest in program history, with an average of 1.6! Truly some of the most dedicated student-athletes out there–keep up the grind, boys!
minmeong: Omfg this is so embarrassing
minmeong: You’re making our school look bad
minmeong: Hey
minmeong: Take this down immediately, you idiotic fucks. You are an absolute disgrace
↳ LINO: minmeong this post just appeared on my e xplore page…
↳ LINO: we find each other in every universe ♥️
LINO: heyso minmeong is asking you guys politely to delete this post
↳ minmeong: Thank you.
↳ jutdwae: "Politely” ?
↳ jutdwae: And why would we need to take it down??
↳ minmeong: A low GPA is typically something to be embarrassed about
LINO: take it down
↳ hnjin: stfu. worry about yourself before you start shitting on other people. and stop catfishing
↳ LINO: ?
↳ minmeong: You don’t know what catfishing is but were familiar with A/B/O?
↳ LINO: iw as born knowing that i am an alpha it is in my blood
↳ LINO: you can be my omega
↳ LINO: *bites you*
↳ hnjin: … yeah the man in your profile is too hot to have your personality. def catfishing lmao
↳ LINO: cat fishing ?
↳ LINO: i like both of those things
↳ LINO: oh wait
↳ LINO: the person in myp rofile pic is me
↳ minmeong: Oh
[picture of seo changbin holding a baseball bat. “CAPTAIN” is written in bold letters above his head.] We’re so excited to announce one of our captains for next season: Seo Changbin! He’s in his final year studying Computational Analysis and Statistics!
jutdwae: So excited!!
↳ minmeong: Maybe if you pick an easier major, the team GPA will be higher
↳ hnjin: stop harassing him
↳ LINO: hnjin do youeven know him ? he do not follow you
↳ hnjin: i’m just a fan
↳ minmeong: …of a member of a supbar collegiate baseball team?
↳ hnjin: he’s a captain. not just a member
[screenshot of seo changbin’s academic transcript. he has a 4.0.] @minmeong @lino Anything to say?
LINO: awe shucks
yji: hey so did you mean to post this on the official team instagram
minmeong: Why are you taking third-year literature in your fourth year… so lame
↳ LINO: cannot believe you found something to shit on here. youa re incredible
hnjin: good work!!!!
↳ LINO: pack it up he does not want you
↳ jutdwae: Yes sorry i am into someone else
↳ hnjin: ah okay. sorry to bug you
↳ LINO: ouch 😟
#4
tiktok.com
[video of hyunjin dancing. the video has two million likes.]
hhyunjin: sneak peek of my performance for next week’s showcase! 😘
LINO: bad form . isolations arenot sharp enough
↳ hhjshooter: No one asked for your opinion
LINO: footwork sloppy at end
↳ hhjshooter: Go to hell Hyunjin has never done anything wrong ever
LINO: need 2 get lower in the middle. your energy is too light for such a gritty dance
↳ hhjshooter: No the dance is perfect and so is Hyunjin.
↳ hhyunjin: hii 💓thanku for defending me 💞
↳ hhjshooter: Hyunjin hi my name is changbin i am in love with you. I rejected someone today for you
↳ hhyunjin: i’m familiar with a changbin … do u play baseball
↳ hhjshooter: Yes but ill quit if you want me to
↳ hhjshooter: I would do anything for you
↳ hhyunjin: check dms
LINO: overall the dancing is just not that good
↳ minmeong: Lino hello I have missed you
↳ hhjshooter: Lino i have your address
minmeong: Slightly offbeat in the first few measures. And I do not like your pants
↳ LINO: you dance?
↳ minmeong: No but if you’re hating then I am too
↳ minmeong: Do you dance?
↳ LINO: yes ido it professionally
↳ LINO: what do you do
↳ minmeong: I’m in the process of applying to law school.
↳ LINO: wowso smart
↳ LINO: are you a man
↳ LINO: and do you like thighs
#5
twitter.com
yji: there r some real freaks out there… just saw some guy literally barking in the park
minmeong: And what’s wrong with that?
minmeong: Some of us just feel more connected with nature than others
minmeong: Clearly that person was just living their truth.
minmeong: Cyberbullying is so embarrassing
minmeong: It’s easy to say mean things behind an anonymous account, so we should always strive to be kind–especially online
↳ yji: ok so u r a furry?
↳ minmeong: IM NOT A FUCKIGNF URRY LEAVE ME AONE
↳ minmeong: YOU DONT KNWO ME SHUT THE FCUK UP
↳ yji: u have “meong” in ur @
↳ minmeong: LINO HELP ME
↳ yji: who tf is lino
↳ yji: u didnt even @ anyone?
↳ LINO: i do not need an @
↳ LINO: i am minmeong’s #1 defender
↳ LINO: andyour worst nightmare 😈
↳ LINO: upon further reflection it is kind of hard todefend this one
↳ LINO: but i will do anything for min meong
↳ LINO: go back to ogling strangers in the park and stop being mean. i hope that you die alone
↳ LINO: *growls*
↳ yji: not beating the furry allegations
↳ LINO: i never mentioned those
↳ LINO: because i do not pick fights i can not win
↳ minmeong: I am in love with you
↳ minmeong: *Whimpers*
#6
reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror
u/dulset: I heard a noise behind me
…little did I know it was the vampire
u/minmeong: I know someone who would hate this
u/LINO: this is so fucking bad
↳ u/minmeong: Called it
↳ u/LINO: you know me so well…
u/dulset: I felt a hand grab my arm
…little did I know it was the vampire
u/minmeong: Oh brother
u/LINO: you need to stop writing forever
u/dulset: I saw something in the mirror
…little did I know it was the vampire
u/minmeong: Lino have you seen this one?
u/LINO: DONT QUIT YOUR DAY JOB 🔥
↳ u/dulset: listen man i’ve had a rough fucking day and i poured my heart and soul into this and i really can’t handle your critiques right now please leave me alone oh my god i can’t do this
↳ u/minmeong: Watch how you speak to Lino, please.
↳ u/LINO: minmeong will youmarry me
↳ u/minmeong: Okay sure
whatsapp.com
han jisung & lee minho
han jisung: someone was mean to me about my writing :(
lee minho: aww :(
lee minho: wellwas the writing bad? :(
lee minho: also iam eloping
lee minho: be back in a few months
han jisung: oh
kim seungmin, yang jeongin, lee felix
kim seungmin: Hello, friends. I am eloping
lee felix: okay have fun!!!! 🥺💖
yang jeongin: k