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“The ceiling stopped spinning for me, did it stop spinning for you two?” Robin asked her two coworkers lying on the bathroom floor. That Russian truth serum must’ve been LSD or crack or something.
“Holy shit…” Steve muttered. “No. Ryan?”
“Woah…” Ryan smiled weakly, her glasses crooked and falling off her face. Steve chuckled.
“Think we puked it all up?” He said. The girls both let out noises of amusement.
“Maybe,” Robin answered, “Ask us something.” She put on a fake Russian accent. “Interogate us, Steven.”
Steve let out a nervous laugh. He didn’t even really know how Robin knew his full name.
“Uhh…Okay. When was the last time you…Peed your pants? Both of you.” Robin and Ryan looked at each other, then to their shorts.
“Today.” They both said. Steve’s brow furrowed.
“Wait, what?” Robin rushed to defend herself.
“When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw! I mean, that’s a Goddamn bone saw!” Steve and Ryan laughed, then the other two looked at Ryan.
“Right, mine was when they injected us.” She said nonchalantly. The teens laughed for a bit longer, but it faded out.
“Definitely still in our systems-” Steve chuckled.
“Alright, my turn.” Robin spoke. “Have you two…Ever been in love?”
The silence was deafening. Steve looked toward the ground, knowing what he was going to say. Ryan took off her glasses, closing her eyes. Ryan spoke up.
“Yeah. I still am.” She said, “But the thing is, I know it’s doomed from the start.” Robin and Steve both let out a confused noise.
“What’s that mean?” Steve questioned.
“This guy I like…I’ve liked him since I was twelve,” She explained, “I really like him, but he has a girlfriend and I just-...” Robin let out a chuckle.
“Know it won’t work out?” She finished, causing Ryan to freeze.
“Yeah, and it sucks because he’s like, my best friend.” Ryan rubbed her eyes, putting her glasses back on. Robin grabbed her hand.
“What’s he like?”
Ryan took a moment, thinking how to describe the boy she loved.
“He’s sweet. He has an eye for details that others ignore, and I guess that’s why his pictures are always so beautiful.” A somber understanding flickered on Steve’s face.
“Nobody else understands him and he’s been accused of horrible things and I just want to help him but he has a girl who he loves and I just-...” Ryan cut off her rambling before she could continue.
Robin had a soft look on her face, reaching for Ryan’s hand to help her calm down.
“It’s who we think it is, right?” She said softly. Ryan nodded, rubbing her eyes.
“How about you, Steve?”
It had all happened so fast.
Ryan and Nancy were just supposed to go distract the Mindflayer, that was it.
It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. Ryan screamed in pain as Joyce held the girl close, applying pressure to the gaping hole in the side of her chest. She tried to clutch onto the older woman's hand, wailing as the pain burned worse and worse.
“I know, honey, I know.” Joyce reassured her, running a hand through Ryan’s hair. The hurried footsteps of the others approached, Jonathan sliding onto his knees.
“Ryan!” He yelled, cupping her face in his hands. “H-Hey, hey, y-you’re gonna be okay.” Nobody except Nancy had ever seen Jonathan this emotional before. He lifted her into his lap, willing her to stay awake.
There was no way this was the same girl he met eight years ago. That girl had been a bundle of energy, throwing punches on the playground when anyone would dare disparage her brother’s name. That girl had been scolded by teachers when she snuck out from under their watchful eyes, going up to the shy boy sitting on the benches with a camera. That girl had immediately declared herself his friend when he confirmed he liked David Bowie.
The girl that had fought with him for the first time a few months ago.
“Ryan, I just don’t get what you’re talking about!” Jonathan shot at his friend.
“You don’t get it!? You replaced me, Jonathan! With a fucking stoner!” She retorted. “You promised we’d never grow apart! First, you start getting obsessed with Nancy which I understand! You love her, I get it! But then you moved to California, and you got a new best friend!”
Jonathan looked at her, conflicted. He knew what she was talking about, but he didn’t want to admit defeat just yet.
“Yeah, Nancy’s my girlfriend of course I pay attention to her!” He objected. “And Argyle’s my friend! I’m allowed to have friends, Ryan!”
“Yeah? Is that what I am to you?”
Jonathan stared in confusion.
“What?”
“What am I to you?”
“I-...You’re my friend.” He explained, expression filled with caution. “You’ve always been my friend.” Ryan’s eyes welled up.
“Well we used to be best friends.”
Jonathan held her still. He knew what was coming, but he still just couldn’t bear to admit it.
“Hey, c’mon Ry.” He muttered, patting her cheek softly. “That Tim Burton movie you wanted to watch still isn’t out… What was it called?” Ryan’s tired eyes looked up at him.
“B-...Beetlejuice..”
“Yeah, Beetlejuice!” He exclaimed. “It comes out in March, that’s only…It’s November, December…Four months away!” Ryan’s shaky pale hand grasped his own.
“Jonathan…” She whimpered, but Jonathan didn’t stop talking.
“And just think about how many albums you’ll miss out on if you go to sleep now, I mean-”
“Jonathan.” She looked tense. “It’s not g’nna work…” Jonathan’s face fell.
“No, you’ll be fine I-...” He trailed off as she looked at him.
“C-Can I tell you something…?” She said softly. Jonathan nodded. “I love you..” He stared in shock.
“W…What?” The word slipped from his mouth.
“I-...I’ve loved you since we met.” Ryan explained. “I was acting differently because I-I was jealous…” She coughed out a mouthful of blood, causing Jonathan to panic more. “I know you love Nancy but the way that you love her… I love you that way.”
Ryan’s hand fell limply off of Jonathan’s own, the light in her eyes fading.
Jonathan was trapped in a tunnel. A tunnel of knowing that he could’ve stopped this. Before he could stop it, and God knows he wanted to stop it, a horrible, mournful cry escaped his throat. Jonathan held his best friend close to his chest, weeping as if his own life was over.
Joyce and Will looked on in pain. Ryan was as much family to them as she was to Jonathan. Steve, Robin and Nancy approached slowly, followed by Mike, Dustin and Lucas.
Robin’s already pale face turned ghostly as she saw the corpse belonging to her friend. She had become close with Ryan fast. She was someone else that ‘King Steve’ bullied in school. Someone else who had been doomed to spend hours scooping ice cream for a living.
Now that girl she had laughed with in the bathroom after being drugged was dead.
“Shit…” Steve muttered as he walked closer, bending down and putting a shaking hand on her forehead. The cold, clammy skin was unsettling, to say the least. He weaved his hand into her hair, smiling softly to keep the tears from falling. He had only cried in front of the party twice.
Thursday, March 27th, 1986. After Eddie’s death, hidden away in his empty house that wasn’t so empty at the time. With Robin sat by his side after Dustin had sobbed himself to sleep.
Today, November 6th, 1987. When Dustin hurled punches and cruel words at him, piercing him worse than any Demobat could hope to.
Nancy looked at Jonathan, eyes filled with a mix of terror and pity. On one hand, she loved Jonathan Byers with all her heart, but on the other hand, she had stopped this girl from getting the boy she loved. Memories of loading boxes of donations into Steve’s car and fixing up Hopper’s cabin flashed behind her eyes.
All those looks Ryan would give Nancy when she thought she wasn’t looking. The fight they had in the Upside Down version of the Wheeler house. At the time, she thought it was anger, disdain, hatred. Now she knew what it was. It was really longing, a begrudging sense of loathing that Nancy had everything Ryan wanted.
The three boys stood, trying to hide the nausea and memories. Lucas grimaced, squeezing his arms tight. Dustin shook his head, muttering quiet pleas of ‘please not again’ under his breath. Mike blinked back tears, looking at Will to distract himself.
Ryan had been like an older sister figure to them. On Halloween of 1984, when the boys dressed as the Ghostbusters and Ryan dressed as Dana Barrett. When they would play D&D and Ryan would provide them with live guitar background music, forcing Jonathan to use pots and pans as makeshift drums.
Nancy snapped herself out of the memories, remembering that the whole world was at stake.
“We need to go.” She said, her face stoic. Protests echoed.
“No, w-we can’t just leave her!” Robin stuttered
“Are you insane!?” Mike shouted at his sister. “Are you kidding me!? Ryan just fucking died!”
“Yeah? Well you know what she’d say right now?” Steve sent a cold look his way. “She’d say we need to go kill that son of a bitch.”
They all nodded, save for Jonathan, who just cradled Ryan’s body to his chest. Joyce looked at him, tears still in her eyes.
“Jonathan, are you okay?” She whispered. She knew the answer, but needed to know what his plan was. Jonathan nodded, standing up slowly to make sure she was still in his arms.
“I’m coming, but I’m bringing her.”
It was over. Henry Creel was finally dead, and they finally had a sense of normalcy back in their lives. Ryan’s funeral was on December 1st. It was a small, somber gathering of just a few people. The Party, her parents, and even her brother managed to show up.
After the ceremony, everyone left, giving Jonathan time alone.
“I got my letter from NYU last week.” He said quietly. “I couldn’t tell you because you were in that freezer. I’m sorry I let them keep you there.” He fiddled with the camera in his lap. “I got in. I’m happy about it, but it feels wrong.”
“When we were kids, you decided that you would go wherever I did.” Jonathan brushed a bit of hair out of his eyes. “So, why is it fair that they accepted me, and I got a scholarship and can afford to go for the first time in my life, and you didn’t even get to apply?”
His eyes widened, and a small smile appeared on his face. “I switched majors. I’m doing film now.” He explained, filled with a sour happiness. “I had this idea, right? A-And I sound insane explaining it. Steve, Robin and Nance laugh at me about it but, but it’s this, like, cannibal movie, okay? But it’s a metaphor for capitalism!”
He rambled into the late hours of the night, finally feeling slightly fulfilled. As he stood up, he pressed his head to the gravestone.
“I miss you, Ry. Robin plays Bowie at least twice a day for you.”
It was Monday, March 25th, 1991.
Jonathan stepped out of his car, holding Nancy’s hand. The shiny black suit was certainly something he didn’t enjoy wearing, but he knew he had to be presentable. He ran his hand over the embroidered letters on his sleeve. R.A.
Nancy was wearing a gorgeous red dress lined with rhinestones, her hair curled and styled to perfection.
Jonathan had never felt more out of place. He always felt like an outsider back in Hawkins, but nothing came close to the sense of confusion he felt being on a red carpet in LA.
Nancy could feel the tension radiating off her husband, squeezing his hand tightly.
“You okay?” She whispered. Jonathan nodded, squeezing back.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He reassured her. “Just nervous. I mean, I’m with my wife on a red carpet with actual stars.” He looked over his shoulder, quickly looking back as he almost locked eyes with Meryl Streep.
Nancy smiled, finding her husband’s nerves cute. She was the proudest she had ever been.
“Jonathan, you’re here for a reason. Your movie was beautiful and impactful, but you made it. You brought yourself here, and I am so proud of you, and I know she would be too.” Jonathan sent a soft smile her way, grateful he had this woman by his side.
As the night went on, Jonathan’s nerves only grew. He was nominated amongst legends like Kevin Costner and Martin Scorsese. Tom fucking Cruise was going to say his name! Soon the moment arrived. It was the second last award of the night, only followed by Best Picture.
Soon, the man stepped out, reading off names from a card.
“The nominees for Best Director are… Kevin Costner; Dancing with Wolves. Stephen Frears; The Grifters. Francis Ford Coppola; The Godfather Part III. Barbet Schroeder; Reversal of Fortune. Martin Scorsese; Goodfellas. Jonathan Byers; The Consumer.”
Jonathan’s heart sank. He had seen all of those movies, and they were all jaw-dropping. Nancy rubbed his shoulder.
“And the Oscar goes too…”
It was too much. Jonathan’s hands shook, his forehead visibly sweaty.
Silence.
“Jonathan Byers; The Consumer!” Cheers rang out, but Jonathan didn’t process it. There was no way he just won. He felt Nancy hug him, reciprocating quickly. He stood up on shaking legs, approaching the stage and taking the statue.
“Wow, uh-... Thank you so much! I’d like to tell a quick story. Four years ago, I lost my best friend.” He began, a lump forming in his throat. “Her name was Ryan Aberlin, and she supported me even when nobody else did.” Nancy’s eyes softened.
“I was there when she died. I held her in my arms, begging her to stay awake, but she couldn’t any longer. Before she went to sleep, she told me she had been in love with me since we met.” Looking into the crowd of stars, he didn’t know how he made it here.
“I never felt the same, and it haunts me to this day. Trust me, I love my wife so much, but I need to make sure that she hears me.” His tears glittered in the shining stage lights.
“Ryan, wherever you are, I love you.” The audience applauded, much to Jonathan’s confusion. These A-listers really cared about his friend?
“Thank you so much to my other half, Nancy. I love you so much. Thank you to my mom and my step-dad, to my siblings Will and Jane, to my friends Argyle, Steve, and Robin, and to NYU for helping me get here. Finally, thank you Ryan, for supporting me.” As Jonathan was about to leave the stage, he gave a final message. “Also, Lonnie Byers can suck it!”
As he sat down, his face flushed as he felt Nancy kiss him.
“I’m so proud of you!” She tried to keep her tears at bay. “God, I can’t believe my husband’s an Oscar award winning director!” Jonathan smiled, placing his forehead on Nancy’s. He stayed silent until Nancy spoke up again.
“I know she’s smiling down on us. I know it.”
The next couple days were a lot. Jonathan had interview after interview, so many that they all merged together.
As Jonathan walked into the CBS building, he was greeted by a woman in a navy, business casual dress.
“Hello!” She said happily. “My name is Shanon Walker. You have no idea how wonderful it is to be meeting you, Mr Byers.” Jonathan blushed.
“You can just call me Jonathan.” He had a sheepish grin on his face. Shanon nodded, leading him to his seat. Quickly, the broadcast began.
“Before we begin, I just would like to congratulate you on your big win, Jonathan!” No matter how many times someone congratulated him, it still felt wrong. “I’d like to address the elephant in the room.”
Jonathan tensed, unsure of what she was going to say. Did he do something wrong?
“Your speech on Monday was a work of art.”
Oh.
“Forgive me for getting a little personal, if I may.” Shanon continued. “A few years ago, my best friend was lost to a massive earthquake that struck her hometown.”
Jonathan’s mind was running a mile a minute. Earthquakes happened everywhere, it wasn’t just Hawkins.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” He said. Shanon shook her head.
“No no, please. Your speech helped me understand that grief is not a rare thing. It happens to everyone, and you helped me see that.”
Jonathan didn’t know how to respond. The speech he had scrawled out in eight minutes was this impactful to someone.
“Wow, uh-...I’m honoured, truly.” He stammered. “After moving to New York, I had to get creative with how I would connect with Ryan. I couldn’t visit her grave, I couldn’t visit her parents or her brother, so I wrote. I wrote like she used to tell me I could.”
“Grief isn’t a short sentence. It sticks with you for way longer than you’d hope, but it gets easier. I just want people to be able to find hope in my work. I want them to be able to celebrate being different. To be able to celebrate being a freak.”
The interview went on for another half hour. When it finished, Nancy was outside in the car, awaiting her husband. Bags were packed in the trunk, confusion nailing Jonathan in the head like a stone.
“What’s all that for, Nance?” He asked, answered by a mischievous smile from his wife.
“Well, I think you deserve a little bit of a sabbatical after your big win, huh?” Nancy’s comment did nothing to quell the questions forming in his brain. She rolled her eyes. “I thought we could take a little trip. Go back home, visit our families. You could tell Ryan everything.”
As he processed what she had said, his tired eyes glistened with emotion.
“Oh. Y-Yeah, okay, that sounds great.” He swallowed back quiet sobs. “I think that’s just what I need right now.”
As the two climbed into the car, Nancy looked expectantly at Jonathan.
“Can I?” He said, looking towards the selection of tapes.
“Yeah.”
“Thanks, Nance.” He paused, looking at the tape. “I’m coming home, Ryan.”