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I sniffed harshly through my nose. Snot was practically pouring out of my nose, as if it'd all been liquefied. It was disgusting. I was disgusting.
I leaned forward until my head made contact with the desk I was sitting at, a loud bang sounding through the room. I lifted my head up and down multiple times, continuously banging it against the hard surface until I got too tired to even do that anymore.
Tears welled in the corners of my eyes, until they got too big to hold themselves onto my skin, in turn falling off my face and pattering against the wood.
Sometimes I didn't understand myself. I never understand myself. I need to control myself, why do I hate myself so much?
Well, I am pretty pathetic. No one really loves me. Sometimes I have doubts that even my own girlfriend, Maki, loves me. What if she's just dating me out of pity? What if μ's is just being my friends out of pity? And letting me join their idol group? All out of sympathy?
I sniffed up more snot leaking out of my nose.
Ugh. I think too much.
"Nico?" a voice called from behind, and I froze. I knew whose face that voice belonged to.
I picked my head up off my desk, trying to regain composure as quickly as possible. I brought my sleeve up to my face, wiping away any wetness that hung to it, however still leaving a slight dampness to my cheeks. My face still felt hot as I turned to face my red-haired girlfriend.
"Hey, Maki," My stuffy self said, trying to force a smile and sound as not miserable as possible.
"What's wrong? What happened?" She asked with concern dripping from her voice.
She began to walk towards me, but I held my hand up to try and stop her. It didn't work.
"Nothing! Leave me alone," I pouted, turning my back to her.
"Stop lying, why are you crying?" She asked as she sat in the desk next to mine.
"I am not crying."
Maki reached her hand to my face, using her index finger to wipe away a small tear that had managed to creep out from the corner of my eye and begin to slither down my cheek. Goddammit, stupid emotions.
"Don't lie," She scolded, holding her finger in front of my eyes to prove a point.
"F-Fine, I'm crying, so what? It's just a... One of my irrational female mood swings, I'm on my period, so go away."
"We both know that's not true."
I sighed in defeat, my chair making a slight creaked as I slumped back into acceptance.
"I'm crying. I'm crying. Do you wanna know why I'm crying?"
"Yes, that's what I've been wanting to know all this time!"
"I just don't like myself. I really really, really, don't like myself. I kinda hate myself."
Maki frowned. "Why do you hate yourself? You're great, what's there to dislike?"
I sadly shrugged, looking at the swirls in the wood of the desk in front of me. "I don't know. I just don't. I don't really feel like I have much to provide. I don't know," My voice wavered as the last words came out of my mouth, and now I turned myself completely away from Maki so she couldn't see me in all my pathetic-ness.
I could feel Maki's frown deepen from behind me, and then I felt the weight of her hand on my shoulder. "Nico, you're amazing. You're the best person I know, that's why I'm your friend, dummy. You and I both know I have high standards," she said with a small laugh, "But seriously, you're great. I love you."
I didn't respond, so Maki slowly stood up. I watched her silently.
"I'll be right back."
I cupped my hand to my cheek, relaxing my head into my palm. "Whatever."
As Maki walked out of the room, I looked down to the desk to continue observing the swirls encrusted into the wood. With my other hand, I took it off my lap, reaching up to trace along them tiredly.
Once I heard the door aggressively open behind me, I quickly lifted my head off of my now wet hand to turn around.
Standing in the doorway, I saw Honoka, Maki, Umi, Eli... And everyone else. I swear to god Maki.
"Nico! Are you okay!?" Honoka bursted out, running to me in a hurry.
"I-" Before I could say anything, I was engulfed in a hug by the energetic red-head.
"Please don't cry, Nico!"
I felt more weight being pressed down in my other side, and I looked over to get another face full of red hair.
"Yeah, we love you Nico-Chan!" Rin cried, her hug tightening.
"Get off! You're squeezing too tight! You're gonna squeeze all the air out of my lungs! Or something like that..." I made up, planting my hand to Rin's face to push her away.
"No! You need this, you need all our love!" Honoka boasted, refusing to loosen her hold.
"Yeah, nya!"
I felt a new weight placed on my shoulders and head, and I grimly looked up to see Nozomi. Her arms had wrapped themselves around my shoulders, and she was resting her boobs... On my head. I blushed at the close proximity that her boobs were to my face.
"Hello, Nicocchi," Nozomi giggled. She was clearly trying to act innocent. But I wasn't going to let that act work on me!
"H-Hello Nozomi." Fuck! Why did I stammer? I hate myself.
"Nico-Chan, may you please tell us why you're upset?" Umi asked from the sidelines. I looked around to see that the others had spilled into the classroom.
Honoka had gotten off of me, but Rin had persisted, and was now sitting on my lap with her hands wrapped around my waist.
"Well," I started, shooting a quick glace to everyone in the room. "I'm fine. I would've told you that, if it wasn't for this one-" I pointed to Honoka, "-rudely interrupting me with a hug."
"Heh heh... Sorry..." She awkwardly laughed out.
"It's not really rude to give someone a hug," Eli piped up, facing me. "We saw you crying," she said with a downward glance, "and Maki told us everything. Please," she reached her hand out to cradle my cheek, her arid thumb contacting with the wet skin just below my eye. "Talk to us."
As I looked into her eyes, I felt my face get hot. Stupid Eli.
"I... I don't wanna talk about it," I told her as I turned my head, crossing my arms and closing my eyes in the process.
A few seconds passed, and then I heard an- easily, I must say -defeated sigh from the blonde next to me. However, her hand still stayed glued to my face.
Even so, my lips curled into a smirk. I silently cheered myself for being able to push Eli away my fast. Yet why was there a very unpleasant feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, as if there were a black whole inside me that ate away all my positive emotions? I couldn't quite put a distinct emotion to the feeling, but I made sure my smirk never faltered.
But then, I felt something soft and a bit wet push into my left cheek.
I looked to the side, expecting to see Maki pulling away, but my mouth went agape once I saw Eli's blonde locks swishing away from my face.
"Okay, I understand."
"Eli!" Came the outburst from Umi, as we all probably expected; "You can't do that! You have a girlfriend, and so does Nico!"
Eli gasped, covering her lips, just as a blush spread across my face. "I'm so sorry!" She heaved out, her hands coming together in front of her face as she bowed.
Once Eli bowed, I glanced to Maki, expecting to see her brows furrowed and her fists clenched, but instead I received another peck on the other cheek from the red head. Christ, why was everyone giving me kisses on the cheek today!? I don't think I'll be able to take much more of this affection, or else I'll probably die. Literally.
"No, it's okay. I think Nico needs and deserves the affection."
I almost screamed, because no, Maki, I certainly don't need or deserve the affection! Leave me alone, please!
But, of course, I didn't scream, nor say any of those things.
On the very top of my head, I felt another thing pressed to my head, and I gulped so loud I was sure that everyone in the room had heard it.
My gaze went upward, and, of course, Nozomi stood above me with another one of those classic shit-eating smiles of hers', just like the one she used on me whenever she grabbed my breasts. Her washi washi smile.
"I agree."
"You guys are crazy," Umi deadpanned.
"I agree what that," I remarked.
"We're not crazy, we just love Nico!" Honoka shouted, and suddenly she was flying at me, landing on my lap. Her arms wrapped around me, and her feet were planted to the floor on either side of me. She squeezed me in a trap- er, I mean, hug -and I felt overwhelmed. I'd never received this much attention before.
Kotori then hugged me on my left side, which took me by surprise, and I whipped my head to look at her. I had forgotten she was even here; she was so very quiet.
"I love you, Nico."
I felt my heart hurt at the sweetness in her eyes and her gentle expression, words, and gesture. She kissed me on the cheek that Eli had before, and I felt like crying. This girl was too sweet.
A weight pushed down on my right side, and I swear I could've died right then and there from all this love and attention I was receiving.
I looked to whoever the next attacker to my heart was, and I was almost surprised to see the shy purple eyes next to me. Hanayo wasn't really the type to give lots of big and open affection to anyone besides Rin.
"I love you too, Nico."
That made my face feel hot, especially around my eyes, and I soon felt a bit of moisture my my lashes.
My lips trembled from nervousness and love as I said, "I hate you guys..."
Nozomi giggled from behind me, reaching up and patting the top of my head. Then moving her hand away, she placed her chin on the top of my head, and I could practically feel the grin placed on her lips.
"We know that means you love us, Niccochi." I could feel the vibrations from her speaking on the back of my head, and I tensed up a bit. "You just don't know how to tell us."
Somehow, we had gotten to the club room, and somehow, blankets and pillows had been sprawled across the floor.
"I put these in the closet just in case we wanted to have another sleepover here," Honoka told us with a sheepish smile.
The walk to the club room was very strange.
When Kotori suggested going there, everyone agreed, and Nozomi had almost too eagerly picked me up bridal-style. Umi held my hand although at first being very against being affectionate towards me, but quickly warmed up to the thought once she saw Kotori kiss my cheek. While Umi held my left hand, Maki held my right.
The others then refused to stop kissing me on every place on my body. It was most commonly the face or my scalp, but sometimes one of the other girls would rip my hand right away from Maki or Umi and kiss me all up my hand and arms, leaving me a blushing mess until Maki or Umi hissed at them and snatched my hand back.
Rin had even kissed my foot for whatever reason, and everyone had laughed- even me -besides Rin, who blushed and awkwardly grinned, running back to Hanayo's side and just stuck to kissing my forehead.
And now, we all lied on the club room floor, almost suffocating in all the pillows and blankets.
"I think you might've gone a bit overboard with all of this, Honoka," Kotori quietly remarked, pointing to the mess which we all lied in.
"You can say that again," Umi grumbled. She still held my hand in her's.
"What!? You can never go overboard with blankets and pillows!" Honoka roared, jumping onto me, which successfully pushed me to the ground. She pressed three lazy kisses across my face.
"I-I guess so." I commented, feeling like Honoka's tackle was an indication that I should join in on the conversation too. (And take her side)
Kotori dropped the subject and slid over to my right side, giving me a nice smile and a kiss to my cheek.
Umi took Kotori's lead and rolled over to my left side, her hand still mangled with mine.
With that, everyone started climbing all around, filling up every possible spot around me. I thanked god that I wasn't claustrophobic.
In the end, I had Nozomi under me, Maki on top of me, (I felt kinda bad for Nozomi; She had two bodies on top of her own.) Kotori and Umi stayed in the same places, Eli lied somewhat on Umi and somewhat on me, Rin did the same except on Kotori's end, Honoka lied at my feet, starting to give me a massage, (Which, I had to admit, felt really nice.) and Hanayo had rested herself in a snug position at the top of my head.
No one really said anything in the time. We all stayed silent and enjoyed each other's company, and everyone was completely endorsed in me.
Nozomi and Hanayo wouldn't stop playing with my hair and kissing my scalp, and everyone else kissed me all over. Honoka even kept kissing up and down my legs, making me shudder every time.
"How are you feeling?" Maki asked in a whisper, breaking the silence. Even though she only whispered, it still felt incredibly loud in the moment.
"I'm feeling better."
"Are you?" She countered.
"Yes," I nodded truthfully. "I really am. A lot."
I now realized I had kept my eyes closed the whole time everyone cuddled me, and now that I opened them, I was met by Maki's intimidating purple eyes, her lips holding a smile. Her lips sparkled in the light, her lip gloss looking so tasty right now. I licked my lips.
"Good."
And as if she could read my mind, she leaned in. Her glossy lips connected to mine, and I had to hold back the urge to instantly dart my tongue out and eat her up. But she did that for me as well, her tongue lapping at my lips, and my tongue quickly leapt out of my mouth to taste her lips, her mouth, everything. I noted she wore grape lip gloss- something she's never worn before -and I liked it a lot. Her mouth tasted of the tea she drank daily in the morning.
My throat let out an involuntary whine when she pulled back, but I realized that others were with us too and it would probably be rude to have a make out session on top of Nozomi.
"Hey, how come you can kiss her and we can't!" Rin groaned.
"They're dating." Umi shot back.
"You can kiss her if you want; You guys have basically kissed every other place on her body anyways." Maki told them with a deep chuckle.
This made Rin quickly leap over to me, her lips messily slopping onto mine. It was a good kiss, and once she pulled away, I licked my lips and tasted oranges.
"That was fun, nya!"
I sat there for a few moments, licking all of Rin and Maki's lip gloss off my lips, and I suddenly harshly blushed when I realized what Rin had done. I tried to cover my entire face with my hands, and I could feel a scream building in the back of my throat, but I restricted myself from letting it out.
"Oh-Oh my god... Yeah, it... It was." I said, and my body shook. It was really nice. I didn't get near the romantic and almost lusty vibe from her that I got from Maki, but it still made me feel good, and I liked it.
Everyone then took turns kissing me, and I felt all giddy inside at the end. It was all so nice. Honoka tasted like bread, which made me smile a bit, and of course Hanayo in turn tasted like rice. Eli tasted like cherries, Umi like hot coco, Kotori like strawberries, and Nozomi like chocolate and coffee. I have to note that Nozomi was a great kisser; Almost as well as Maki, and the bite she gave my lip once she pulled away made my stomach flip. Maybe I should ask her to have a threesome with me and Maki sometime.
I'm joking.
Once everyone was finished giving me a kiss, I was left incredibly flustered, my face probably as red as a tomato (AKA Maki's hair) and with a million butterflies in my stomach. They all got back into their previous positions surrounding me, which only made my butterflies grow stronger.
How rude, not only weren't they gonna help my get rid of this damn tingling feeling inside of me, but they're making it worse! They're so impolite.
Once they all got back into their respective positions, they cuddled me even harder than before. And right then and there, we fell asleep in a big heap of love on the floor, and I couldn't be any happier to have the support of my friends and girlfriend and that they were really showing it this day. I was glad that Maki told them what was going on.
To this day I still feel bad for Nozomi though, the weight of all those bodies must have been torture.