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“ – and then Tom said – ”
“Wait, this was at a Jazz concert?”
“Well, yeah – ”
“Clint, you hate Jazz.”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes you do. In ninth grade we finally threw my sister’s Duke Ellington CD out of her bedroom window because she wouldn’t stop playing it and you couldn’t stand listening to it anymore.”
“Well, that was just because she was playing it nonstop. If she only played it occasionally I’m sure I’d like it. Plus, it’s Tom’s band that I’m going to see, so – ”
Ah. Tom. Of course.
---
“ – and so I bought tickets to go see World War Z – ”
“Clint, you hate zombie movies.”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes you do. In eighth grade we watched Night of the Living Dead together and you called me at one in the morning the next day because you thought there were zombies in your yard.”
“Well, I’ve changed my mind. James really likes them, so we – ”
Well, James better be prepared to spend at least two hours soothing you.
---
“ – I can’t because Nick and I are going snorkeling – ”
“Clint, you hate being underwater.”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes you do. You’ve hated it ever since you nearly drowned while we were learning to surf on that trip to visit my cousins in Malibu.”
“Well, Nick has lots of experience. He’s a scuba diving instructor, and he’ll be able to save me if I start drowning again – ”
I was the one who saved you last time.
---
Phil could name all of the boys that Clint had dated in the past five years. (Tom, Matheus, Jeremy, Nick, Danni, Aaron, Jake, Hayato, Erik, Florian, Marcelo, Daniel, Naresh, Max, and James.) However, he could say safely that there were none – none – who he hated quite as much as Clint’s current boyfriend.
Yes, Phil had been nursing an unrequited crush on his best friend for a good five years now (the last three years of high school and these first two years of college), but this wasn’t just irrational jealousy. If Phil was too prone to that, he and Clint probably would have stopped being friends a long time ago. After all, Phil probably would have driven away all of Clint’s other boyfriends. Which, okay, he kind of had (just a little bit) but that was only because some of the more controlling ones got it into their heads that Clint and Phil were doing more than just meeting for coffee and study sessions and other BFF stuff.
Of course, this new one – Loki Laufeyson – had reached a new level of controlling. A week after starting college, Clint had found a job at a small coffee shop on campus and had managed to get Phil a position, too. For the past two years, their shifts had always been together. Well, except for a few times when one of them needed to fiddle with timings due to family issues, but that was it. They gossiped and played stupid games like ‘guess the student’s major’ and generally had a wonderful time.
Then, Clint started dating Loki. Two weeks later, he quit his job at the coffee shop. When Phil demanded to know why, Clint just said that it interfered too much with Loki’s schedule. It sounded like bullshit to Phil, but Clint wouldn’t offer up any other answer.
Quitting his job was only the beginning, though. Soon, Phil only saw Clint outside of class once a week. Even in class Clint was becoming more and more withdrawn. He studied like mad and whenever Phil tried to corner him when he was leaving class, Loki would be right there waiting outside the door for Clint. The possessive grip that Loki always seemed to have on Clint – grasping his arm, or hip, or even the back of his neck – unnerved Phil more than he could put into words.
It was about time to stage an intervention.
---
“Clint!” Phil called, hurrying over to him as their History of Law class ended.
“Um, hi, Phil,” Clint replied, blinking at him in adorable confusion. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” Phil answered, smiling at him. “I was just hoping that you’d come over to the coffee shop with me. You know, catch up a bit. It’s been a while and everyone’s wondering what happened to you.”
“I’d really like to,” Clint started, eyes darting over to look at the door, “but I should probably ask Loki first to make sure he doesn’t have plans or anything.”
“Oh, he hasn’t told you yet?” Phil asked, noticing the way Clint stiffened. “Apparently there’s some sort of family emergency going on. Thor was telling me about it earlier. He said that they wouldn’t be back at least until tomorrow.”
In reality there was no family emergency, but Phil wasn’t the only one who was concerned about Clint’s wellbeing and Thor and the rest of the coffee shop crew had only been too eager to help stage the intervention. Thor was stalling his brother as they spoke. Phil was only hoping that he’d have enough time to find out what was really going on.
“Okay, then,” Clint replied reluctantly after a moment of deep thought. “Let’s go.”
The walk over was only a couple of blocks, but they seemed like the longest blocks of Phil’s life. The two of them walked in silence, Clint fiddling with his backpack straps and staring at the concrete the entire time. When they got to the coffee shop, they put their backpacks down at a corner table (what had formerly been their corner table) and went up to the counter to order, but before Phil could even open his mouth Natasha was shoving two cups into his hands and shooing the both of them back to their table.
Once they sat down again, they sipped their drinks in silence for a few moments. (Either Tony or Bruce was experimenting again – Phil had absolutely no clue what his drink was. It was tasty, though, so he had no intentions of complaining.) Finally, Phil broke the silence.
“So, how have you been doing?” he asked nonchalantly, as if he couldn’t tell from Clint’s body language alone that he was tense and miserable.
“Fine,” Clint replied politely, making Phil frown. Before if Clint wasn’t in a good mood, he’d end up hearing a full five minute rant about all of the ways in which his day had been utterly horrible. “You?”
“I’m doing okay,” Phil replied, pausing for a moment. “I miss you, though.”
“You miss me?” Clint parroted, confused.
“I never see you anymore,” Phil said, studying Clint carefully. The ‘not since you started dating Loki’ went unsaid.
“Oh,” Clint replied, a slight flush spreading across his cheeks. “Um, yeah. I’m sorry about that – I’ve been really busy lately, so…”
“We still have a full month until finals,” Phil pointed out, taking another sip of his coffee drink concoction. “What are you busy with?”
“You know,” Clint shrugged, toying with his coffee cup. “Stuff.”
Phil bit back his reply of ‘no, I don’t know’ in favor of not scaring Clint off. He sighed before changing the subject.
“So, did you hear that Pepper finally said yes to Tony?” he asked, a hint of a smile on his face.
“She did? She actually agreed to go out on a date with him after three years of him asking her?” Clint questioned incredulously, and Phil was pleased to see a small spark of intrigue in his eyes again. “Fuck. I owe Nat twenty bucks now.”
“I’m pretty sure everyone owes Nat twenty bucks now,” Phil snorted, glancing over at the woman in question who was currently manning the cash register. “I’m half wondering if Pepper just agreed because Nat agreed to split the pot with her.”
“Nah, Pepper wouldn’t be that mean,” Clint said, taking another sip of coffee.
“I don’t know. She can be kind of ruthless sometimes,” Phil replied, a small smirk spreading over his face. “Did you hear about what she did to that customer two weeks ago?”
“No, I didn’t,” Clint answered, leaning forward slightly and planting his elbows on the table, a small smile on his face.
“Well, there was this really annoying guy who – ” Phil started, but the words in his mouth dried up as Clint’s sleeve slid down slightly to reveal his wrist. “What happened to your wrist?”
Clint froze like a deer caught in the headlights, following Phil’s gaze to his now exposed left wrist. His face paled and he tugged his shirt sleeve up again before hiding his hands under the table, not meeting Phil’s eyes.
“Nothing’s wrong. It just – ” Clint started, only to be cut off by Phil.
“Clint, I already saw it,” he said, a little more harshly than he would have liked. “It’s no use trying to hide it now.”
Clint glanced up again, actually meeting his eyes this time, before sighing softly in resignation and placing his hands on the table again. Phil gently took Clint’s left hand in his and carefully pushed back the sleeve of Clint’s soft black shirt, exposing his wrist. The flesh was mottled with dark, angry bruises that, from what Phil could tell, were in the shape of a hand.
“It’s not what you think,” Clint began, a little bit of panic in his tone. “Loki’s not – he didn’t mean to. It’s just that sometimes we get a little – rough during sex. It doesn’t actually hurt really, and it’s not his fault. He’s really into martial arts and such and he just doesn’t always know his own strength. That’s all.”
“Clint,” Phil breathed, his eyes still fixed on the bruises on Clint’s wrist – which were apparently put there by Loki. “You hate rough sex.”
“How would you know?” Clint snapped, blushing furiously. “Sure I like rough sex. It’s… fun.”
“No, it’s not, Clint. It’s really not,” Phil replied, tearing his eyes away from the bruises to look Clint in the eyes. “For some people, maybe, but this relationship is hurting you, and not just physically.”
“Loki’s not hurting me,” Clint protested, yanking his wrist out of Phil’s grasp. “He’s not.”
“God, Clint, since you started dating him you’ve quit your job, stopped texting your friends, stopped talking to your friends, stopped talking to anyone for that matter,” Phil said, a hint of panic rising in his voice. “Meeting me for coffee today is the one thing you’ve done without Loki’s express permission in weeks!”
“He just – he worries a lot,” Clint replied weakly. “He doesn’t want me to get hurt.”
“Clint, the only person who’s hurting you is him,” Phil said softly, taking Clint’s hand in his again, intertwining their fingers gently.
“… He told me yesterday that he loved me,” Clint replied after a moment, not meeting Phil’s eyes.
“You know that phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’?” Phil asked carefully. “Well, Loki’s actions certainly don’t match up with his words. If he loved you he wouldn’t hurt you like this.”
They lapsed into silence, neither saying anything. Phil noticed Natasha and Steve glancing over at them in concern occasionally, but he motioned for them to let him handle it for now.
“I moved in with Loki last week,” Clint blurted out suddenly. “I don’t actually have anywhere else right now.”
“The couch at my place is free,” Phil answered, hope swelling in his chest, “and, you know, my roommate Charles is graduating and moving out in about a month and a half, if you’re interested.”
“That would be great,” Clint replied softly, a hint of a smile on his face.
---
Phil Coulson was not pleased to have to answer the door to his small apartment at five minutes before midnight. He’d been expecting this confrontation all night and was thoroughly prepared for just about anything Loki might throw at him (literally and figuratively) but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to it.
He opened the door just a crack, but as soon as even the tiniest opening was visible, he found himself being pushed back by a surprising force. He just barely managed to grab Loki by his upper arm before he got any further into the apartment. Loki glared at him and yanked his arm out of Phil’s grip, but Phil stood steadfastly between Loki and the rest of the apartment, making sure that Loki wouldn’t be able to slip past him.
“Move, Coulson,” Loki snapped, looking frazzled and more than a little crazed.
“No,” Phil replied calmly. “The only reason I let you in here at all is to tell you that if you ever go near Clint again I’m reporting you to the police for abuse.”
“Clint won’t press charges,” Loki replied, haughty and self assured.
“Are you sure about that? Because if he hadn’t changed his mind about you do you really think he’d be here at my place instead of at yours?” Phil shot back, still standing firm.
“Oh, so you’re his new boyfriend, then?” Loki said, shooting Phil a twisted smirk. “You think yourself some sort of knight in shining armor, but you’ll become just like the rest soon enough.”
“I would never,” Phil protested, his voice almost a growl as his heart clenched in his chest.
“You don’t get it, do you?” Loki replied, an eerie calmness in his eyes. “He craves subjugation. He was made to be ruled.”
“If you really think that, then you don’t know a thing about him,” Phil hissed, hands tightening into fists. “Now get out before I make you.”
Loki stared at him for a long moment before turning his back and stepping back out of the apartment. Phil started closing the door, but was once again stopped by a hand against the door, pushing back against it.
“Take my advice and don’t try to save him,” Loki’s slick, oily voice intoned, making Phil grit his teeth. “You’ll just end up becoming the villain.”
Phil slammed the door as hard as he could.
---
“So, I met this guy yesterday,” Clint started.
Phil resisted the urge to sigh. It had been almost a month since Clint had broken up with Loki and moved into Phil’s apartment. The spark had returned to Clint’s eyes and the pale pallor of his skin had been replaced with its normal glow. The bruises that mottled his skin had mostly faded and Clint had even gotten his job at the coffee shop back.
Unfortunately, it seemed like everything was back to how it was before – including Clint’s reckless dating habits.
“ – and so I thought I’d take this summer painting class – ”
“Clint, don’t you think it’s time to just… stop all of this?” Phil sighed, interrupting his best friend.
“Stop what?” Clint asked, his smile fading.
“You don’t even like painting,” Phil pointed out, frowning. “You need to stop trying to change yourself to fit what you think your boyfriends want.”
“I’m not changing myself,” Clint protested, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “I’m just expanding my interests. I’m exploring different hobbies.”
“No, you’re not. You’re just doing what you think your new boyfriend will like,” Phil said, looking Clint in the eyes. “When you were dating the scuba diver, you suddenly liked swimming. When you were dating the saxophone player, suddenly you liked jazz. When you were dating the foodie you suddenly liked cooking.”
“Well what do you suggest I do then?” Clint snapped. “Be single and lonely like you for the rest of my life?”
Phil blinked in surprise, mouth falling open slightly like he’d been slapped. Across the table from him, Clint turned bright red and he started fiddling with his coffee mug.
“I-I didn’t mean – ” he stammered, almost knocking over his cup with his fiddling.
“No, it’s true,” Phil sighed. “I’m just not interested in dating.”
“Look, Phil, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean – I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Clint continued, looking impossibly guilty and embarrassed. “I mean, you’re such a great guy. Who wouldn’t like you?”
You. Phil thought, although he didn’t say it aloud.
“Whatever. We’re not talking about me,” Phil said, waving him off. “What I was trying to say earlier, though, is that if you want to find the right person for you, then you have to just – just be yourself and see who you attract. Go to the archery range more often. Talk to more people in your Russian Literature class.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but come on, Phil,” Clint said with a self deprecating smile on his lips. “Who would possibly fall in love with me for being, well, me? I’m not exactly a great catch.”
“What are you talking about?” Phil blurted, looking up from his coffee. “You’re an amazing catch. You’re smart and funny and good at archery. You should have heard the way Professor Banner waxed poetic about how well you did in his Applied Physics class. You’re really kind, too, and smoking hot – ”
“You think I’m hot?” Clint asked, surprise clear on his face. “You think I’m hot and smart and funny and nice?”
“Well, I, yes,” Phil admitted, his cheeks heating up with his blush.
“Phil Coulson, do you like me?” Clint questioned, a small smile spreading across his face. “As in, like like?”
“Did you seriously just ask me if I ‘like like’ you?” Phil laughed, vaguely realizing that he should probably be freaking out, but Clint was just too cute. “What is this, eighth grade?”
“Well, that’s when I first started crushing on you, so…” Clint replied, a blush on his cheeks and a flicker of hope in his eyes.
“Wait, you’ve – ” Phil asked, trying not to gape.
“Mmmhmm,” Clint answered, stirring his coffee idly, and very carefully not looking at Phil.
Phil took a moment to process it all, Clint’s confession. Then, he started laughing. Well, it was more of a giggle, but…
“What?” Clint demanded, clearly embarrassed. “Is the thought of me liking you really so funny?”
“No, it’s not that,” Phil reassured him, smiling at him warmly. “It’s just, we’re doing backwards, aren’t we?”
“Backwards?” Clint parroted, trying to figure out what Phil was talking about.
“I mean, we moved in together, we’re having a coffee date, and just now we’re confessing that we ‘like like’ each other,” Phil pointed out, smiling. “That’s a little different from how people normally do it, isn’t it?”
“I suppose it is,” Clint replied, also smiling. “I guess I’ll have to correct that. Pizza and a movie Friday?”
“A date?” Phil asked, and Clint nodded. “Sure. What movie?”
“Anything but zombies,” Clint answered.