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I won't let this get to me.
She was only a telepath.
I don't care.
...I'm out of vodka...
Damn it, Talia, why now? Do you know how hard it was to have you with me that night? To have you touch me even that little bit? I almost let you in. I almost let you see what was inside me...
No, it's not your fault. It's Psi-Corps. Now, more than ever, I think that perhaps the devil made Psi-Corps simply to destroy love.
I could have loved you, Talia. I think I did.
* * * - - - * * *
Susan hadn't realized just what a temptation having Talia in her bed was going to be. But as they went about their routine of brushing hair and teeth and changing--taking turns in the bathroom like a married couple--Ivanova realized that, against all odds, she had met a telepath she liked.
Okay, she thought, watching her friend as the telepath walked into the bedroom, clad in pygamas that made her look even more sexy than usual. More than like... A telepath I find attractive, maybe?
Surely not a telepath I could love.
"Susan?" Talia asked quietly. "Are you alright?"
Ivanova shook herself, holding those shields she never let go of even more tightly in place. "I'm fine," she replied with a sigh. She looked at her friend's hands. "You're not wearing your gloves."
Talia smiled. "I didn't think I'd need them here." She watched Susan a moment, as the Normal tried to deal with... something. "I can take the couch, if you'd like, Susan," she offered. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Susan snorted. "It is not you that makes me uncomfortable, Talia," she explained bluntly. Best to get things out in the open now. "It is... my feelings."
Talia sat on the bed, motioning for Susan to do the same. After a moment, the Russian complied, and they faced each other, hands almost touching as they sat on the bed together. "I think I have the same feelings, Susan," Talia shocked her by saying. "I think I always have."
Susan rose, pulling a hand through newly-brushed hair. "Wonderful. So what are we supposed to do about it?"
"Tonight?" Talia asked, rising to approach her friend. "Nothing--if you don't want to."
Susan looked at her, tortured for a moment as she resisted the urge to touch the telepath's bare hands. She wasn't ready to initiate that sort of contact yet. "Oh, I want to, Talia," she admitted, hanging her head. "I just don't think I can."
"Then we won't," Talia declared, holding on to Susan's sleeve to lead her to the bed, seeming to know that her full touch would not be welcomed. "We'll sleep, dream... And talk about it tomorrow."
* * * - - - * * *
And what happened tomorrow, Talia? What happened? You changed, right before me. I would have slept with you--I would have shared myself with you. Let you touch me in a way almost more intimate than the way my mother touched me... I would have loved you, Talia.
And you'd have made sure I died for it, wouldn't you?
I miss you, Talia. I miss the you that is dead now. The one I could have loved.
I miss us, Talia.
I'll stop thinking about you now. You're dead and gone, and I need more vodka.
Goodbye, Talia. May your soul be where my mother's is. May
you be happy... somehow.
* * *
The End