Work Text:
He was packing his things because there was no way he was going to spend the night in the motel after seeing his best friend trying to kill himself. Said best friend was in the shower, rinsing off the gasoline, and then they were heading to the bus to sleep.
Stiles was zipping up his bag when Scott came into the room, already dressed and rubbing his hair with a towel. They didn’t talk much and the entire trip had been absolute hell. Scott kept blaming himself and people kept getting hurt and he hadn’t even had a second to think about anything. He had been moving nonstop, coming up with plan after plan to work everything out and he hadn’t even
He really hadn’t just stopped to—
There had been so much going on that—
There weren’t any new calls or messages from Derek but that didn’t mean that he was—
“Stiles?” Scott asked, voice filled with concern.
Why would Scott be concerned though? Nothing was wrong. Everything was fine.
Oh.
“Oh God,” Stiles moaned, placing his face in his hands and feeling tears wet his cheeks.
Scott was next to him in an instant, sitting down on the bed and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Which was stupid because it shouldn’t even be like this. He shouldn’t be crying. It didn’t make any sense.
“This isn’t supposed to be happening,” he said, standing up and running his hands through his hair as he tried to stop crying. “It’s not supposed to hurt this much.”
“Stiles,” Scott said. “Yeah, it is. You loved him, that’s not gonna—”
“Yeah, but not for that long,” Stiles tried to reason. “I met him in January, we only started dating a few months ago, we’ve only been in love for… I barely knew him. It’s not—Scotty, it’s not supposed to be like this. I’m in high school, it’s not like we were forever. I’m not his fiancé or his—or his mate, I’m not… He’s not…”
It was all one big lie. Sure he hadn’t known Derek for years and he hadn’t been in love with him for years, but it had felt like forever. It had felt more real than anything he’d ever been through. Derek had been so good to him in ways he never thought possible. Derek made him feel like it was okay that no one else had ever looked at him or wanted him before because it was like he had been waiting for Derek.
“I saw him two days ago,” he continued. “He was fine two days ago. He was healthy and sarcastic and an asshole two days ago. We had sex two days ago and it-it didn’t feel like a goodbye. He told me that he was risking his life, but I didn’t believe him because it’s Derek and Derek doesn’t die and I don’t think I told him I loved him afterward, but I do. God, I do so much and I’m never going to see him again, I’m never going to get over this. I’m never going to find anyone else, because he was—It felt like he was it for me and I’m 16 and I shouldn’t be saying something like that, but—”
“Breathe, Stiles,” Scott said and it was so abrupt that Stiles inhaled deeply on instinct, his lungs burning and his eyes swimming with tears and his heart pounding in his chest. “Stiles, just calm down.”
“How?!” he shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “Scott, how am I supposed to calm down when—when he’s gone? Why did you even come on this trip? You wouldn’t even let yourself heal. How could you do this? I can’t do anything now that it’s real, now that I’m not freaking out over you, now that—”
“I came because I thought you wanted to punish me,” Scott said. “You weren’t reacting to it and I thought you were coming along to punish me for taking him away from you.”
He didn’t even know what to say to that and luckily he wouldn’t have to. There was a knock on the door before Allison and Lydia came walking in, concern etched across their faces. It took two seconds for Lydia to figure out what was going on and she made her way toward Stiles, wrapping her arms around him.
“Just let it out,” she said, sitting him back down on the bed again.
“Scott, we should head to the bus,” Allison said, outstretching her hand to him.
Scott stood nervously in the room, looking from Stiles and Lydia to Allison. Stiles nodded, not really wanting to continue his conversation with Scott. They had been through enough already and talking about Derek wasn’t going to help anything.
Allison gave Stiles a tight smile, clearly not knowing what to do in the situation. It made sense too. Allison was great and they were friends, but she and Derek weren’t exactly the best of pals. Scott took her hand though, leaving the room with her and closing the door behind him.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Lydia said.
“That is the fucking worst thing you could say to me right now.”
“I know that’s why I said it,” she shrugged. “Because then you’ll want to argue instead of cry.”
“Maybe I want to cry?”
“Okay, go ahead.”
So he did.
OoOoOoO
Eventually he and Lydia had gone to the bus and he had managed to fall asleep hours later. When he woke up it didn’t feel like he had even been asleep, but he couldn’t bring himself to care once he realized what had woken him up.
His phone was vibrating in his pocket and he got it out, looking at the caller ID and feeling his heart leap into his throat. Apparently this woke up the werewolves and Scott, Isaac, and Boyd were all on the alert, heads turning toward him.
He couldn’t bring himself to care or explain though, because he answered the call instantly.
“I am going to kill you when I get back home,” he seethed. “Skin you alive. You are such an—Give them back. Give back all the tears I cried for you, you piece of sh—”
“Stiles?”
A pause.
“Ms. Blake?”
“Yes, hi, wow, this is bizarre,” she said from the other line. “Um, Derek told me to call you—”
“He couldn’t call me himself?”
“Well, he can, but—”
“Put him on the phone.”
Part of him knew that talking so bluntly to his English teacher probably wasn’t the best idea, but he was a little too pissed (and relieved) to care.
“Stiles.”
“I’m going to kill you,” Stiles said, continuing with his earlier threats. “Murder you in your bed. You’re not even going to see it coming, it’ll be after our reunion sex and then you’ll wake up and I’ll be hovering over you with a knife infused with wolf’s bane and why are you with my English teacher and what happened and why didn’t you come find me and—”
“Calm down, you need to breathe,” Derek said.
“I don’t think I can, my Adderall schedule has been ruined the past few days.”
“You shouldn’t do that, you need to—”
“No, God, shut up,” Stiles interjected. “You don’t get to make me think you’re dead and then try to lecture me about my meds. Answer my questions, you jackass.”
There was a sigh from the other line and Stiles was crying again and he felt so stupid. The entire pack was looking at him like he was going to break in two and it had been bad enough yesterday. Yesterday Scott had been the one physically breaking, but they had all tip toed around him like anything could set him off.
“I was injured,” Derek explained. “Close to dying and my instincts took over. I remembered when you helped me with the bullet, so I went to the school. I was trying to find you when I ran into Jennifer and she helped me. I was completely out of it last night and it wasn’t until this morning that I realized I hadn’t called you.”
“So you get my English teacher to do it for you?”
“I didn’t think it’d be a good idea to just spring it on you.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know,” Derek said. “But I’m your idiot, if you’d still have me.”
He squeezed his hand around the top of the bus seat in front of him and breathed shakily, nodding his head even though Derek couldn’t see him. “Yeah, but you’re never doing anything like this again.”
“I can’t promise that.”
“Derek.”
“I can’t promise that I won’t risk my life, but if you think I’m dead and I’m really not, I’m coming to you first.”
It would have to work for the time being. Derek risking his life was the last thing he wanted, but that reckless behavior was something that was ingrained in Derek. And it’d probably take years to extract it.
“I love you,” Stiles said, not even caring that everyone was listening in.
“I love you too.”
“I’m still going to kill you in your sleep though.”
“I look forward to it.”
After a few more goodbyes, Stiles hung up, gripping the phone tightly in his hand and shaking. He was still crying and it wasn’t until Lydia placed a hand on his shoulder that he looked up at everyone.
“Aw, look at him,” she said, bringing a hand up to his cheek to wipe some tears away. “He’s in love.”
“Also a little murderous,” Allison pointed out.
“He does have a crazed look in his eye,” Lydia agreed.
Stiles snorted, batting Lydia’s hand away before sinking back into his seat, catching Scott’s eye who was watching him carefully.
“I wasn’t trying to punish you,” Stiles said. “It just hadn’t hit me yet.”
Scott just nodded before holding out his fist to him. Stiles felt the corner of his mouth twitch up and he bumped his fist against Scott’s.