Chapter Text
Leaning back in the cruiser, Nick Wilde, newly hired fox police officer in the ZPD, let out a strained sigh: “Flash? Really? I mean how can he control a car going that fast?”
Judy Hops, Nick’s partner and cute grey-furred bunny, adjusted her seat and started the car: “No idea, but he had a clean record so all we could give him was a fine – though now we know where to look if he tries this again”
With a chuckle, Nick put away his aviator sunglasses: “If there is anything you’ve shown me, then what people expect of you isn’t the only thing you have to offer - I figure it’s not bad to have that lesson hammered home again on your first day on the job”
“Agreed – plus I put a tracking device in under the car. If he speeds again we get a message and Flash gets an even bigger fine in the mail. On his third try he’ll get a court summons” Judy said with a smug smile.
Nick stifled another chuckle: “Wow fluff, getting all sneaky – wait, will that tracker stay on his car forever? Is that legal?”
“It’ll pop off on its own when its battery runs low, or if we send a signal to it. Then ZPD sends a team of academy cadets out to find them, they get new batteries and go back into circulation” Judy explained, patting one of the pouches on her belt.
Driving off, the two agreed that this was good information to keep in mind – especially when dealing with criminals. This led into a slightly spirited discussion on what to get for lunch. Judy knew a sandwich shop at Hawthorn and Lemon, while Nick wanted to go somewhere that had fish & chips: “Come on carrots, lets at least go to one of the bagel shops in the canal district. They do this thing with cured salmon... it’s so good!”
“Eww - I don’t do meat, especially fish – you know that. Besides, Sjin’s Saladwiches are amazing – and I’m driving, so it’s moot point” Judy stated confidently.
A bemused snort and a smile was all Nick could throw at his partner, because he knew she was right: “Do they give a police discount?”
“Of course” Judy said in a chipper tone, exceedingly satisfied with the nod of approval Nick gave her for her bargain hunting
“Good to see that you’ve at least learned something from me during our chats” Nick noted, referring to the many video-chats the two had enjoyed during his time at the police academy.
Judy shrugged: “Perhaps, but I did get the impression that you were the one who learned the most whenever we talked”
“Well it was useful, no doubt about that” Nick acquiesced, conceding furthermore that it was handy for keeping his spirits up during his time there as well.
Judy was about to say something when the radio flared up, with Clawhauser’s voice coming in: “Hey you two, just got a call in from city hall. They had a cancelation for the S-3 safety briefing and Nick was next on the list on our end. It starts in half an hour, can you make it?”
“The what what?” Nick quizzically said, looking at the radio.
Judy grabbed the radio mike with a practised swiped: “Roger, we can be there in time. I’ll drop him off and resume my patrol afterwards”
Nick’s quizzical – if not humorous - look turned to Judy.
With a quick glance, Judy smiled at Nick: “Don’t worry – it’s just a safety briefing. All city officials have to attend it, and police officers have priority”
“Neat – what’s it about?” Nick wondered.
Flicking her ears about, Judy noted: “It’s about city hall’s new S-3 protocol, the new rules about how to handle any future cases of savage mammals – plus they include a free lunch for attendees. Trust me, you’ll love it, they’ll probably even have meat there”
Now that got Nick’s attentions – both in what exactly city hall had cooked up for response to savage mammals, but also because he had really been out of the loop on that kind of stuff at the police academy, so this really piqued his curiosity. Also a free city hall lunch? Maybe they would even serve the fabled city hall pancakes... oh that sounded good.
Judy laughed, seeing Nick zone out completely while rubbing his stomach: “Silly fox”
“Dumb bunny” Nick shot back without even looking.
They both laughed.
At city hall, with its ivory white tower looming oddly non-threateningly over the nearby neighbourhoods, Nick discovered a newfound joy of his uniform. Mammals shot him nods of respect, stepped aside for him, and even held elevators open for him. Nobody had ever really been that courteous to him before!
Asking for directions to the S-3 briefing, Nick found himself directed to a huge conference room. There were hundreds, if not thousands of mammals in there. Some looked like they had stepped straight off their route with a dump truck, while others were in casual office duds. Ultimately they all blurred together into a sea of fur, horns and ears.
A cow in a business suit and a small pair of glasses started the presentation. Nick couldn’t help but think that this cow would make absolute bank working in the adult industry. Hadn’t he seen her in “Milk Maids 3: Udderly Delicious”? Either way she had an almost obscenely huge udder – it certainly made him grateful that there weren’t any kids around.
The presentation itself was on the vaunted “Nighthowler Safety Protocol”
To Nick’s endless amusement then it very quickly became clear that Judy had been part of the making of the presentation, since she was in a lot of the pictures showing supposedly savage mammals in hilariously comical and exaggerated ‘attack’ poses. She looked like something out a cheesy howloween costume catalogue... so of course city hall would have picked her for this! She was the least threatening mammal on the force to pose like she’s about to bite someone, at least as far as Nick was concerned. He could tell that others found it at least mildly amusing as well – he could hear whispered comments like “But bunnies can’t even show their claws... what would she do, nibble at my hooves?”
The cow doing the presentation ran through her bullet-points in a well-rehearsed manner: “All medkits at city offices and vehicles have been outfitted with easy-inject needle-sticks containing the nighthowler cure. They work just like insulin needles: Press the pointy bit up against the skin of a mammal and press the button on the other end”
The distribution of cure-shots included ambulances, garbage trucks, police cruisers and so on, which was illustrated via a picture of Judy posing awkwardly next to a police cruiser with an open boot and an open white medkit box visible.
Per edict from the now former Mayor Lionheart, then the safety of the citizens was always paramount as the cow explained: “To make this very clear: Despite what the public has seen, then part of the research that developed the cure also proved that prey mammals can go savage – So the protocol in case of multiple savage mammals is to administer the cure to the biggest and most dangerous if mammals first. A rampaging savage rhino with no self-control can hurt a lot more citizens than a savage cat”
Nick got the idea, but the picture of Judy trying to look as if she was snarling and menacing next to a comparatively miniscule mouse in a business suit who was doing the same pose just looked like comedy gold. He so needed to get a copy of those slides and print out some of those pictures.
A question from the audience rang out: “Is there only one cure shot per kit since we have to prioritize?”
The answer was no, though the cow noted that the amount depended on where the kit was located: “These things are expensive, and we don’t have that much wiggle-room left in this year’s budget, so police and health services have been prioritized for these to begin with. A good portion of next year’s budget will bring everyone else up to speed as well”
This seemed to satisfy the mammal that had asked the question.
“Again, the point of this protocol is to prioritize by size and physical features such as mass, horns, claws and fangs” the cow re-iterated.
Nick took note: Stompy, gory, scratchy, bitey gets their shots first, then everyone else.
The lunch buffet set up for the attendees was amazing. They had the cured salmon! Oh this was a good way to round off your first day on the job. Ok, and now three more hours of briefing on how and where to poke various mammals with the injectors... and they were using elderly mammals in swimwear for the pictures – the horror...
The next day, after the morning briefing in the bullpen, Nick and Judy quickly found themselves on Judy’s usual patrol route, when dispatch popped up on the radio:
“We have a report of two possible savage mammal sightings at the Mystic Springs Oasis. Suspects are two goats. Approach with cau-“
Dispatch didn’t even have time to finish before Judy had the radio mike in her paws and responded eagerly: “This is One-Ten-Six, we’re on it”
Nick was a bit taken aback at how quickly Judy had reached for the mike – moreso that she had let go of the car wheel, prompting him to grab the wheel in a hasty move.
As Judy put the mike back and took the wheel again, Nick commented: “A little trigger happy there carrots?”
“Are you kidding? I try to grab all the savage sightings – it’s my thing, no – it’s our thing now!” Judy said, giving Nick a look that Nick could swear was downright predatory. She wanted this, that was much for sure.
She was hungry for the hunt.
Look aside, a part of what Judy had said stuck out to Nick: “Hold on, savage sightings? I thought we shut that down with Bellwether?”
“We did, that’s the problem. A lot of mammals are still bit paranoid about seeing anyone who flies into a rage. Usually it’s just someone in a fight if they snarl a bit too much, or if someone escapes from a mental ward, or drunk mammals in a fight and so” Judy noted in a clearly dejected tone. Nick could tell from her eyes that those false alerts really bothered her.
“Harsh” Nick commented, unsure of exactly what he should think.
Gripping the steering wheel hard with her small fuzzy paws, Judy took a deep breath: “I guess I still feel guilty about all the trouble I caused after that damn press conference. Zootopia almost tore itself apart because of me – and there are still a lot of frightened mammals in the city, so I just try to clean up the mess I made”
Patting Judy on the shoulder, Nick said: “As long as you don’t let it get to you. You shouldn’t hold yourself responsible for the actions of others, but I get that you want to change their minds”
Pulling up to the nudist, no scratch that, ‘naturalist club’, Judy groaned: “Figures this would be the first place we’d end up responding to. At least I now know why I find this place weird now – no more mystery in the mystic oasis”
“Let me guess, you came to the shocking conclusion that all the naked mammals make you uneasy?” Nick snarked, finding Judy’s discomfort quite amusing.
Straightening out her cap and marching resolutely up to the door into the Mystic Springs Oasis, Judy turned to Nick: “As a matter of fact, yes. I read this article about mirror brain cells, which explained why different mammal species find undressed mammals of notably different species a bit weird looking and not necessarily very attractive”
Despite all of his wits and street-smarts, then Nick’s grasp of neurology could fit into a very small place. Judy continued: “Clothes cover it up for the most part, making us all appear equal – it’s a hardwired brain thing, not something we’re conscious about – and that’s why I’m no longer confused about being weirded out by it”
“If you say so fluff – still sounds like you’re just embarrassed to be around naked mammals – rationalization or not” Nick chided jokingly.
Inside, at the front desk, the same fly-swarmed yak stood like last time the due had been at the establishment, though this time he looked a tad less relaxed – something was clearly bothering him – his attempts at meditation sounded forced and he looked stressed. As the yak spotted the two officers coming at him he burst with elation: “Awesome! Hey It’s you two again, neat. Come on, I’ll show you were the goats are banging”
Both Nick and Judy quickly motioned to comment on that rather glaring inconsistency with the situation which had been called in, but Nick got in on it first: “Hold on – we were called out for two possible savage mammals, not public indecency”
“No man... it’s not like that. We get couples in here every now and then who go to the private corners of the gardens for that all the time, that’s why they’re private – but these two... they were making too much noise, but when I told them to quiet down they totally brayed at me like they were all savage... they were totally out of it! The buck even tried to gore me!” The yak explained, looking frazzled as he tried to communicate the frantic chase he had to endure.
Judy cautiously asked: “Where are they now?”
“...still going at it – I cordoned off that garden so nobody would disturb them”
Going through the oasis, Nick clearly saw that Judy looked less uncomfortable with all the naked mammals, though she still had that look of ‘this isn’t quite right’ on her face: “So Carrots, is it the years on the force or your revelation about your previous awkwardness here that makes you more at ease here?”
Her nose twitching for a brief moment in righteous indignation, Judy answered: “Understanding it is part of it, but part of it is basically incurable. Its...” she gave Nick an overly dramatic look: “...in our biology”
Giving his partner a deadpan smirk, Nick replied: “Haha – explain”
Judy chose not to, saying it’s that mirror brain cell thing. And being naked just amplifies it – like she had explained before they went in.
Nick shook his head in casual dismissal: “Not much of an explanation there, to honest”
The yak perked up at hearing that, letting out a chuckle: “Oh – you’re talking about mirror neurons. Sure, that’s the parts of your brain anatomy that defines what kind of mammal forms we like and identify with the most – that’s totally part of your biology. That’s why we’re hardwired to prefer mammals from our own species, or those really similar to our own – S’why you don’t see interspecies relationships: Our minds don’t see mammals from other species as potential mates – S’also why you have porn for every single species in Zootopia”
Judy looked suitably impressed: “So that’s what that meant – ok, but what about the clothes thing? I read this in some college paper I found online... it was very technical”
Nick perked an eyebrow, not sure if he should find this situation amusing or interesting as they walked past the mud-pit full of frolicking and naked and muddy pigs.
“Oh that’s easy - that’s why this place exists to begin with! When all mammals wear clothes we look the same, sort of – like in the back of our minds we do. It’s the great civilizing equalizer – makes us all similar, makes us all so boring and samey. The mammals that come here want to step out of that for an afternoon, be who and what they really are deep down... and ya that might look strange to mammals who haven’t tried it – but we have plenty of regulars” the yak elaborated, sounding very much as if this particular topic about wearing clothes was something he had argued on quite a lot.
This time Judy looked down right surprised, a puzzled expression having crept over her face to the point that she had completely stopped paying attention to the naked mammals around her: “That... I hadn’t thought of clothes like that”
Nick quickly noted: “Does that mean that the goats you called about just wanted to get back to nature as well?”
“No way – they were completely out of it... look, they’re right over there”
The sounds of bestial passion were as unmistakable as they were ever so slightly worrying. These weren’t cries of passion... these were bleats, bestial grunts and unintelligent noises.
While still out of sight of the goats, Judy stopped – looking pensive, even unsure: “Nick, we have to be careful – got to do this right if they really are savage”
“I’m still not buying it. They’re not on a rampage – they’re lovers, not fighters” Nick said, finding the situation too implausible, despite being right there along with Judy.
Judy remained focused, paws at her variable-dose tranq-gun: “Maybe, maybe not – we’ve never had a case of two savage mammals of the same race in close proximity. Maybe that triggers a different response in them?”
“Ok, that could be the case – why don’t we take a peek first?” Nick suggests, the sounds of goat-humping having subsided for the moment.
Peeking around the hedge that separated that particular private garden area from the rest of the nudist club, Nick and Judy saw a lone goat eve grazing.
Ok, eating grass... right off the ground, is that barbaric? Yes, but it’s not... holy crap: “Carrots, her eyes!” Nick blurts out.
The eve had the very telltale ‘savage eyes’- the stark yellow unnatural color was a dead giveaway.
Judy steeled herself, took a deep breath, looking around the corner of the hedge again: “Hold on – that’s not really... well a little... they’re not s like what Mr. Mancha’s had”
Nick, feeling increasingly freaked out at the idea of a new savage shooter starting up: “She’s not a cat! Her eyes are different - but that there is not normal goat eyes Carrots”
A very angry bray from behind them announced the appearance of the buck – a slim and lean sort, but his horns were each the size of Nick’s head, and he appeared twice the mass of Nick. His eyes were also yellow like two squirts of mustard with a squished olive for a pupil on top.
“Ok, that’s a savage goat... backing off, backing off” Nick hastily noted, as the two backed well away.
The buck miraculously remained at the entrance to the garden, defending it, guarding it, but not attacking... but he did look at Nick and Judy intensely with his goat eyes. It made one wonder: What did the goat see?
No doubt savage – but not... aggressive? Defensive, yes, but not attacking. What the hay?
“This is Officer Hopps, we have eyes on the two savage goats the nudist club, they’re unresponsive and get aggressive if we get close, but aren’t attacking – do we bring them in?” Judy hastily spoke into her radio.
Bogo’s voice rattled in on the radio a few seconds later: “Tranq them, give them a cure shot and bring them in – make sure to get some good bodycam video of them, I’m sure city hall has some eggheads on payroll who’ll want to see that”
Nick cocked at eyebrow at the mention of bodycams. He hadn’t actually paid attention to the fact that everything he said or did on the job was recorded... or was it? He’d have to look into that. Oh, and savage goats – right.
“If they’re influenced by nighthowler serum they’re a potential threat to public safety – you have your orders” Bogo finished, Judy looking all kinds of ready to take the shot.
Ten minutes of trying to talk to the two goats, with only unintelligent and at times angry or annoyed bleating and braying in response - if any at all, Nick and Judy both agreed that there was ample documentation in their bodycams of how the goats reacted to them trying to talk to or approach them.
Just as the buck turned to return to his eve, Judy motioned for Nick to get ready, as she whispered: “You take out the buck, I’ll rush in and take his girlfriend”
Nick nodded, finding Judy’s very serious demeanour strangely calming – then again, a savage billy goat was less than thirty feet away with gnarled curly horns who could probably destroy him completely. For a brief moment Nick closed his eyes and took solace in just how professional his partner was.
Judy clenched her tranq gun hard and sent Nick a stern look: “On three. One, two, three!”
Nick popped out of hiding, quickly taking aim for the buck. Holding his breath, he saw the ram turn to look right at him as he squeezed the trigger, his pulse racing. The buck just barely managed to lower his head to bare his horns as the tranq dart hit him in the shoulder. The effect was about as immediate as possible, the buck only managing a single panicky bleat before falling asleep.
Judy had this strange almost predatory grin as she leapt off, bounding towards and over the buck, shooting the other goat while mid-air. The eve was down before she landed on the ground. It was glorious.
“Yes!” Judy exclaimed, fist-pumping victoriously. Nick breathed a sigh of relief: Was this what two years on the force did to you? Not bad.
Borrowing a wheelbarrow from the nudist club and getting Yax’s help, Nick got the two goats to the squad car and administered the cure injections while Judy collected the personal effects of the two goats. Among clothes, some water bottles, some saltines and wallets she found a plastic breathmint dispenser that, upon inspection, had some very strange pills in them...
On their way back to the precinct, Judy showed Nick the pills: “This has to be it – look at them”
Small, with a characteristic blue color, Nick had to agree – they looked like Bellwether’s nighthowler serum pellets as chewable gel-pills. Judy was ecstatic, barely able to drive straight or wait at intersections.
Nick found Judy’s elation quite infectious. Hell of a way to start your first week on the force.