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It was freezing cold in Daryl’s mind as he quietly glided over the forest floor, following the subtle tracks of a large buck. He had been on this buck’s trail for the last three hours as the sun had slowly risen to chase the nightmares back into the dark, at least for another twelve hours.
Daryl loved Georgia, (except in winter); Hell he was Georgia. Well the bad parts, anyway. He was the muddy creek bed that ran behind the dilapidated shack he grew up in, the dead charred wood that his mother was buried under. He carried scars that were seared across his backside from generations of racist, misogynistic, people that were blood. Wasn’t that just the kicker? Blood. Family. The people that were supposed to love you. The ones that would live or die for you. Merle always said that no one would care for him except his family, his blood and look where that had gotten him. A momma who drank every single day to escape the brutality of her life until the flames finished what the alcohol started. A father who hated the mere sight of him, who beat him just because he was born, and a brother who left him in that dank pit of hell, finding his own escape through drugs, and jail.
That was his blood but that wasn’t his family.
*
His family was safe and sound back at a prison that provided more warmth and love than a Norman Rockwell painting. They were the reason Daryl was out here everyday hunting, scavenging, fighting, it wasn’t for his survival but for the people that he had come to love over the last few years.
Hershel who was a father figure, his sisters, Maggie, Beth, Sasha, Michonne, Carol, even Tara and Olivia who had found their way to the prison with a small group of survivors from Alexandria, a place that fell to a group called the Saviors a couple of years ago. Then there were his brothers, Glen, Ty, Bob, Aaron and Eric, the later two making up the rest of the Alexandrian survivors. He had a niece and nephew in lil Asskicker and Carl, and Rick who the term brother didn't even cover the depth of his feelings for this man.
The prison had seen many harsh times that threatened to destroy their group in the last five years, but somehow they had come through all of it together and they were stronger because of it.
The last few months had been a time of such relative peace that they were actually thriving for a change. The small garden Rick and Hershel had started years ago had expanded to cover the small exercise yard in the back of cellblock D. Rick was still out there more days than not, but now he had several people to help him and some who had actual experience from the old world, so now with all the harvesting completed for the winter, they had enough vegetables and fruit canned to see them through the leaner months. The prison defenses had also been fortified during this time so that all four gun towers were manned regularly, and the breaches in the tombs were sealed.
With the sudden prosperity that the last several months had brought, people had time to focus on other things besides simple survival and that had lead to the counsel deciding a party would be nice to celebrate their good fortune. It was actually Beth and a newcomer to their group Noah, who had been found in a rundown mini mart during one of Daryl and Rick’s runs, who suggested making it a Christmas party.
When it was announced later on that day people were ecstatic. For the last few days after the announcement, Rick was constantly being bombarded with requests for special gift items for the next few scheduled runs, it was all becoming a little too much. Rick certainly didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood, so like any good leader he delegated all requests go through Michonne. Of course he immediately fled the mess hall and made his escape leaving a very stunned ninja quickly being surrounded with holiday requests. It was only a couple of hours later and a half sheathed katana blade being threatened towards his son in law, for Hershel to decide that Secret Santa was the way to go.
The party was scheduled two days from now and Daryl had been hunting everyday for the last week. He wanted to provide his family with a feast. Daryl had trouble even to this day with expressing gentler emotions; This was how he showed his love for the people he cared for. He had bagged several wild turkeys and rabbits, he even got a few pheasants. Daryl knew he had plenty of game for the party, so there really wasn’t a pressing reason for him to be out here this morning freezing his balls off tracking this damn deer. No reason for him to have snuck off from the prison… Rick, like he did, but here he was anyway, all cause he aint got the words to say how he really feels.
Last night Daryl had been sitting on the stairs in their cellblock making new arrows that were part of his secret santa gift to Carl. Daryl had finally decided that Carl was old enough to have his own and when he had found a relatively new compound bow a few weeks ago it seemed like a sign from God himself. It was made more for a woman with a draw weight of about 130 lbs so it would be perfect for Carl’s smaller frame. Fletching the arrows, Daryl marveled how lucky he had been to get Carl’s name. When he first came across the bow he had talked it over with Rick and they both decided to wait for when Rick estimated Carl’s birthday was, but this Christmas party moved the time line up by about two months. Daryl had approached Rick nervously about giving it to him earlier instead of waiting for his fourteenth birthday like they had agreed but Rick’s gentle reassurances had put his mind at ease.
Even though everyone had promised not to reveal whose names they had picked, Daryl knew that a lot of people were actually working in teams to give gifts that were perfect for each other. Case in point since Ty had gotten Aaron and Tara had picked Eric, Tara had decided to make them a gift basket, only this gift basket contained lube, condoms, and some very colorful beads in a sealed package that a very embarrassed Bob had pressed into Ty’s confused hands after he and Glen had gotten back from a run. Bob just smiled a goofy smile at Ty’s bewildered expression and said Tara asked for something special for their secret santa gift. Of course once Ty found out the significance of the little colorful beads, he prudently decided not to inquire into the rest of the gift basket contents.
Daryl had kinda wished he had pulled Rick’s name although he had no idea what he could possibly give him, he only had his love to offer and Daryl was no idiot, why would Rick want that? The man was gorgeous he could have anyone. Daryl had come a long way from that feral hick he used to be at the quarry. It took Carol and the others reassurances that convinced him that he was worthy of affection, but Rick was out of his league. It was better to keep those type of feelings buried deep down. He was happy, well not happy but content with his relationship with Rick, and when Rick fell in love again he would be ok with it. Rick deserved to have that spot filled in his heart again. But oh how he wished he could be the one to fill it.
Finishing his last arrow, Daryl watched in silent amusement as Glen pinned pieces of mistletoe over the entryway into their cellblock. Glen and Eric had placed several pieces of mistletoe that Daryl had found during one of his hunts, strategically throughout doorways scattered in the prison, minus the pretty white berries, as they were poisonous. Daryl had been extremely careful to remove all berries prior to bringing it back to the prison, as he didn’t want Judith or the other children to be tempted to try to eat any. However not being one to take changes he may have suggested a bit strongly to Glen and the others they not be in the kids vicinity. This lil brainchild was at this moment providing Daryl a good deal of amusement as Glen was precariously posed on the ladder that Sasha was supposed to be steading as Glen attempted to nail the lil bit of fluff to the entranceway, right in the center of the doorway according to Maggie’s analytical eye. Which explained why Glen didn’t say a word and patiently readjusted the mistletoe for a third time.
“Perfect” Maggie exclaimed as she walked back and forth squinting at the mistletoe to ensure it was centered accurately. Over the years Glen had come to love everything about his wife except her sometimes obsessive-compulsive tendencies over minute details, like now.
“Ya sure, Maggie, I know you want it to be right.” At this point Glen didn’t care, but he knew if he got down now he would just be climbing back up so better to get it right while he was still up here.
“Nooo”, Maggie said slowly giving it another critical once over, “It is perfect. You can come on down. Now we just need to try it out.” Glancing around quickly looking for a volunteer, Daryl instinctively ducked his head. Not that he had to worry. Maggie wouldn’t pick him and there certainly wasn’t anyone in the room that he wanted to try and kiss and certainly no one there who wanted to kiss him. It was at that moment that Rick walked in with Sherry, who had been with the group since the fall of Woodberry, carrying fresh laundry for their group. “Na unh you two I need to ensure it works properly.” Maggie smirked glancing above their heads as two sets of eyes followed her till they landed on the little weed hanging above their heads. Sherry looked like an over eager puppy while Rick’s startled sapphire eyes frantically scanned the cellblock looking for a possible exit. Setting her own laundry basket down, Sherry literally beamed at Rick, “ I don’t mind making sure it works.”
Giving Rick a salacious wink as she moved closer so only the laundry basket that Rick was clutching tightly to his body was the only thing separating their bodies. “Umm sure”, Rick squeaked out awkwardly leaning forward still gripping the basket as if it was his only touch stone to this plane of existence. Suddenly the barrier was gone as Sherry took the basket from his hands carelessly dropping it to the floor, as she pressed her whole body against him. Before Rick could register what was happening, he felt Sherry’s lips on his and her arms wrapped like a noose around his neck. Snapping his head back, as a low growl filled the room, Rick’s eyes’ were immediately drawn to the stairwell, where they met wounded glacial blue orbs before shutting down. Trying to detangle himself from the anaconda, Rick was only graced with angel wings as Daryl retreated into the shadows of the catwalk.
That was the main reason Daryl was out in the woods now. He had successfully avoided Rick the rest of the night by sleeping outside in one of their buses instead of inside the prison. He had seen Rick a couple of times going to the guard towers probably looking for him. In that brief heated moment Rick had seen Daryl’s mask crumble and Daryl was afraid his carefully guarded secret was no more, which drove him to sneak out during the shift change of the guard tower. Being in the woods calmed him, hunting centered him, and right now Daryl needed to focus on what he was doing not on the fucking mess of being in love with a man who didn’t feel the same way.
It was almost dusk by the time Daryl returned to the prison dragging one of the heaviest bucks he had ever killed. Daryl field dressed the deer as there was no way he could bring home the whole thing on his own, but he did manage to bring back the majority of the meat. The rest he buried so as not to attract any nearby walkers. Daryl quietly slipped into the cellblock gathering clean clothes and a towel and headed towards the shower. He pretty much avoided everyone and those he did pass he pointedly ignored by keeping his head down.
The water stripped more than dirt from his body as he watched it slowly swirl down the drain. Pressing his forehead against the concrete wall, Daryl mentally prepared himself for facing Rick, or he could continue to push off the inevitable "talk" Rick would certainly want to have.
Avoidance seemed to be the way to go.
He can keep busy, if he goes out tomorrow to check the snares or something, he can stay gone all day and the next day is the big Christmas party, with so much going on he can easily avoid Rick. Hell maybe even take a shift or two at tower four, the furtherest one out, Daryl silently muses. Technically he is not scheduled for shifts due to the extra hunting trips but no way anyone would turn him down for a chance to enjoy the party a little longer. Daryl quickly rinsed off feeling a little better knowing he now had a game plan.
Confidence growing as he made it back to his cell without so much as glimpsing Rick, Daryl finally allowed the weariness and stress of the last twenty-four hours drag him into a deep slumber, unaware as a shadow detached itself from the neighboring darkness into his cell, and fingers gently ghosted across his brow. Shivering slightly but exhaustion clearly winning out, Daryl’s body sunk further into oblivion as cool lips pressed against his dampened forehead. Watching as facial lines smooth like still water, a small satisfied sigh escaped the shadow slowly withdrawing from the hunter’s cell, rustling the curtain in its departure.
Daryl couldn’t believe his luck, well yes he could because he should have known that karma was gonna find a way to fuck with him. It had actually fucking snowed while he had slept last night, and Rick had declared that no one was going outside the gates today. It seemed no one was particularly upset with this announcement since everyone saw it as a opportunity to finish up their last minute party details.
Daryl was as pissed as a wet cat, and just like one he was hissing and sniping at anyone that got in his way. He didn’t want to look at the pretty Christmas decorations that were hung up throughout the prison the most being in the mess hall with actual assorted multi colored Chinese paper lanterns that were adorned on hooks scattered in the room. The children’s cutouts of snow flakes and snowmen dusted with gold and silver glitter were plastered to the walls so that there was not a free space that showed the grey drab concrete walls. Crab apples were piled in assorted bowls serving as centerpieces on the tables. Daryl merely grunted as he passed through finally sitting at a table in the far back of the room moodily staring at the different patterns that played across the room. So lost in his own thoughts he didn’t even notice until he felt a tug on his vest and was gazing down into the inquisitive chestnut eyes of his favorite four year old, holding a small reindeer mug nuzzled into her chest.
“Dary, why you sitting here lone”? Judith quietly asked. Sighing to himself, and actually showing the first real smile since this whole Christmas thing got started, “No reason just felt kinda like it.”
Tilting her head and studying him, Daryl just about melted at how much she looked like Rick in that moment. Yeah this was his daughter all right no matter her questionable paternity. “I got some cocoa, if you wanna share it,” Judith softly lisped with her beautiful doe brown eyes gazing into his with hope he would say yes shining brightly. Sensing a yes was coming, Judith slyly added, “I also got my story book.” Glancing at a nearby table that low and behold did contain Judith’s favorite storybook.
Chuckling to himself, Daryl knew he had been handled and quite effectively as he could never stay in a bad mood with his lil Asskicker near him. Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Daryl let out an exaggerated groan, “Fine go get yer book.” Squealing and clapping her hands Judith ran off.
Later that night in his own cell Daryl thought back on his day. So his plan of avoiding Rick by leaving the prison had gone up in flames, but he still hadn’t seen Rick the entire day, and he got to spend it with his favorite person, well maybe his second favorite person since he was trying to avoid the first. All in all Daryl had to admit for the most part he was pretty pleased with how his day turned out.
After reading Judith several short stories they had played a rousing game of hide and seek, which had tired out the ever rambunctious four year old, so when Daryl finally found the sleeping tot snoozing in her brother’s cell, she didn’t fuss over being carried to her own prettily decorated cell for a late afternoon nap. Later Judith awoke for dinner and ate with Daryl staying glued to his side for the rest of the evening until it was time for his guard shift duty and Beth came to collect her for her bath.
Daryl laid in his cot running calloused fingers over the spot on his cheek where soft petal lips had earlier deposited a sweet chaste kiss with a breathy, “Nite Dary love you.” Daryl’s eyes grew misty in remembrance as his chest constricted with the sudden overwhelming rush of love he felt for that little girl. Blinking back tears that threatened to spill, Daryl quickly sat up and reached for the arrows, furiously getting to work bundling the arrows he had finished, after double-checking the compound crossbow trigger’s safety features. Daryl had no doubt that as soon as Carl got his hands on it he was going to be in the yard target shooting, snow or no snow.
Satisfied with his gift for Carl, Daryl reached behind his bunk to the little silver box that held a small leather thong with a dainty silver filigree heart charm hanging from it. Daryl had found the charm the same day he and Rick had found Noah, and knew it was perfect for his lil Asskicker. Daryl was always picking up items in his travels that didn’t always have to do with the necessary supplies the prison depended on for survival. Daryl was pretty sure Rick had seen him admiring the charm before wrapping it in his bandanna and stuffing it in his pocket, but the other man had said nothing just a quick raise of his eyebrows was the only acknowledgment he gave the hunter, before turning away to continue his own search. Wrapping his gifts gently in an extra blanket, Daryl laid his precious gifts on the floor next to his bunk as he turned off his flashlight and waited for sleep to claim him.
Stealing from the shadows as he had the night before Rick made his way into Daryl’s cell, however this time he steeled himself from touching Daryl, and merely observed how relaxed Daryl’s body was as he slept. Relieved over the difference between last night and tonight, Rick silently exited from the hunter’s cell, softening his footsteps as Daryl had taught him during their many hunting trips, so as not to wake him.
Rick had always thought his attraction was one sided. He never dreamt it could or would be returned. Rick had been determined for Daryl to never know how he felt. He didn’t want to lose his best friend, his brother, but over the years his feelings for Daryl had continued to grow and Rick was starting to fail miserably at keeping it hidden. Even Carl had pointed it out to him that he should just tell Daryl how he felt, and wasn’t that embarrassing to get lectured on your love life, well lack of one, by a fourteen year old know it all.
Rick had actually planned on telling Daryl how he felt every time they were together, but the moment never seemed right. Not when they were out hunting, “Hey Daryl I’m in love with you,” well there goes dinner bolting through the trees. Not when scavenging, “Daryl you are the only one for me.” Oh crap there is a small herd heading our way. No outside the prison walls one needed to have their wits about them, not scrabbled due to possibly one-sided declarations of love. Of course inside the prison, it was worse as they never seemed to get any time alone. Since their group had expanded they were constantly being pulled in different directions and when they were together it always seemed there was someone wanting or needing one or the other’s attention. This might have continued indefinitely if it had not been for the mistletoe fiasco. Seeing Daryl’s face in that moment, Rick knew Daryl felt the same way he did and he wasn’t going to waste another moment in making the hunter his.
After explaining to Sherry how he felt, and her initial disappointment she was very understanding and even gave Rick, her slip of paper with Daryl’s name on it. However she retracted her gift of washing Daryl’s bed sheets for the next month with a teasing laugh, as Rick’s blush crawled up the back of his neck to the tips of his ears, as he stuttered out a quick thank you as he backpedaled out of the laundry room.
The day of the party was a beautiful clear Georgia day. The snow covered the ground like a large soft fleecy blanket, and for once the crisp air smelled clean without the stench of decay. There were not even the overwhelming crowds of decaying corpses pressed into the fences, threatening the security of the steadily growing family inside the prison grounds. It truly felt like a Christmas miracle. The atmosphere inside the prison was one of chaotic joy and happiness. People had slowly trickled into the mess hall until everyone was present except for the four on watch. Shifts were eagerly covered in four hour increments to allow for everyone to participate in the party.
Carl had nearly knocked Daryl on his ass with the strength of his hug before unceasingly begging Rick to take the cross bow out in the yard to shoot off a few bolts. Rick had held firm against his son’s badgering until Daryl promised to take him on his next hunting trip if the kid gave his dad a break from the nagging. It took Carl a few minutes of studiously weighing his options before he finally agreed, but that was probably due more to the wheedling of Judith for Carl to let her see his new crossbow, better to get to use it hunting then spending all his time trying to keep Judith’s sticky little fingers from touching his new most prized possession.
Daryl was currently sitting at one of the tables with most of the members of his family listening to the multiple conversations that were going on around him, trying not to laugh as Eric nestled up to Ty purring about how much Aaron and he loved his and Tara’s thoughtful gift. Ty just beamed back at the man but Daryl didn’t miss that quick look of anxiety pass across his face as he realized he might have to make him self scarce in the cell block for the next week or so, especially since his cell was right next to theirs.
Glancing over his shoulder he was pleased to see the woman who had worked her butt off the most to make this happen, curled up in Axel’s lap with his arms possessively wrapped her waist. Carol’s face literally beamed with tired happiness. As their eyes made contact she gave him a small wink before settling back against Axel’s chest as he whispered in her ear, blushing like a young school girl.
Daryl was amazed at how many couples had formed over the few years they had lived at the prison. There was Morgan and Michonne swaying slightly to the music that Beth and Noah, who had been officially dating for the last three months, had scrounged up for the party. Although Love me Tender by Elvis Presley wasn’t Daryl’s musical preference. It still had a sort of holiday feel to it. Daryl’s gaze went from couple to couple to see if there was anyone in his family that wasn’t in a relationship, even his lil asskicker, who was proudly showing off her necklace, that her "Dary" had given her, to that redheaded kid, Luke, was actually holding hands with him!?! Was everyone already hooked up?
Except him and Hershel?
Well scratch that Daryl thought miserably as he watched Mrs. Johnson who spent most of her time working in the garden since she lost her husband a couple of years ago plant a rosy kiss on Hershel’s forehead while placing a berry tart on his plate.
Starting to feel that familiar pang of loneliness creep into his heart, Daryl was jerked back from the abyss by a lifeline of smooth deep timbre laughter. Twin sets of altering blue eyes meet, and for Daryl all the laughter and music was extinguished in that one heated look. Daryl was losing himself in the moment and he couldn't let Rick see his exposed heart, not again so he fled.
Pacing the floor of gun tower four, muttering to himself wrapped up in his jumbled thoughts Daryl didn't hear Rick enter until he cleared his throat, "You left before I could give you your gift.” Daryl’s whole body went rigid at the sound of Rick’s voice. “Umm Daryl are you going to turn around?”
Gift? Rick picked his name? Rick got him a gift? Daryl could have sworn Rick had picked Beth, he even kinda remembered him talking about the diary he had found for her that had an actual working lock. “I thought you got Beth.”
Rick barely heard the words that Daryl spoke. Slowly approaching Daryl, “I did but I found out who had your name so I could have you.” Daryl didn’t know how to process what Rick was saying. He found the person who picked his name and got it for himself? Why would he do that? It didn’t make sense why would Rick want to be his secret santa?
As if Rick could read his very thoughts, “I wanted your name because I have something I've been wanting to give you for a long time.” Rick's breath caressed Daryl’s skin he was so close to him. He could see the involuntary shudder writhe underneath Daryl’s skin. “And well this seemed like the perfect time.” Rick finished as his arms slowly encircled the man in front of him until they hung loosely around him, not tightening his grip but not letting him escape. Daryl’s body automatically relaxed into the the enfolding warmth of Rick’s embrace, neither speaking for several minutes as Rick savored finally having the man he wanted in his arms and Daryl allowing himself to be loved.
Nuzzling the back of Daryl’s neck and placing gentle kisses along his nape, “Don’t you want your gift, Daryl?” Moaning softly and sinking further into Rick’s heat, “Ya gotta turn around for me darlin so I can give you your gift.”
Exhaling the breath he had been holding, Daryl turned in Rick’s arms so they were face to face but Daryl still couldn’t meet Rick’s eyes. Gently grasping Daryl’s chin, Rick slowly caressed his jaw with his thumb rubbing light circles across his jaw patiently waiting for Daryl’s eyes to see the love that pouring from his own. Tilting his chin, Rick sensuously licked Daryl’s lips as a small groan tried to escape and was quickly swallowed by Rick. Daryl felt light headed from all of the emotions that were churning within him. He was being incinerated from the inside as blinding white heat engulfed him. He was drowning in sensations that he never wanted to end. Slowly Rick broke the kiss peppering Daryl's panting mouth with smaller kisses, leaving Daryl breathless. Brushing Daryl's hair away, and gazing into Daryl's wonderstruck face, “I didn’t have time to get you a real present I hope this will do.” Rick sheepishly smiled at Daryl.
“But I didn’t get you anything", Daryl mumbled trying to get his racing heartbeat back under control. Searching Daryl's face Rick sees the uncertainty warring with the hope that this is real.
“You gave me the only gift I’ve ever wanted," clasping Daryl firmly once again to his chest Rick presses his lips hungrily over Daryl’s, "You gave me your love”, before once again claiming his lips and his heart.
Merry Christmas