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Chapter Text

~ * Dancing in Time * ~

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 Chapter One: A Time to Love

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March 2nd through 4th

For just a minute longer, she held the delicate flower in her hand. Maybe it was to capture the moment forever - etching it into her soul…or maybe it was because she was scared the moment would end too soon. The aroma danced in her senses, as the petals softly tickled her nose. She felt the smooth stem, but was always wary to avoid the thorns. In her life so much never seemed perfect, yet somehow this rose did. It represented all that was right in this world, and all the beauty contained within.

It represented him...

Each step seemed to be harder to take; he pushed back hair as strands fell over his face. It had been a long day…no it had been a long week. The only comfort he found was the fact he would have the next several days off to recover. He closed his eyes trying to convince himself that was the real reason, but he knew better… He only hoped those around him wouldn't make too much of the situation. His friends always found a way of making something bigger than it really was…

He tried desperately to put the thoughts of her out of his head, at least for the remaining distance to Garden. It had been nothing more than routine training, but this was his first 'official' time in command on an away mission. He never knew how disorganized cadets could be until he found himself in charge of an entire garrison.

Holding his breath, he ignored the acute pain creeping up his tendons. Each step seemed infinite, never making it closer to Garden. It was as if it were a desert mirage, an illusion more than reality. If it was possible to be walking further from a destination, Squall Leonhart was doing just that.

Three weeks...a small eternity.

She was coming back today, and he tried hard to convince himself that wasn't the reason he was looking forward to this holiday. But in years past, he worked through such breaks… Now he found a reason not to, the very same reason that made his life worth living…Rinoa Heartilly.

For a minute, he wondered if she was already there, waiting to greet him. Quickly enough, he shook the notion from his head, loathing the idea of starting to feel dependent on anyone. He found his thoughts drifting to her more often in the last week, especially when he slept underneath the stars blanketing the night sky. At times in the stealth of darkness, he would find himself searching the heavens, trying to find exactly where in space they had been. Sometimes the feeling, the memory, terrified him more than he cared to admit…yet still, the nighttime held so many memories that he always could find more serenity there then in the daylight hours.

Rinoa had returned to Timber three weeks ago, keeping a promise made so many seasons before. The town, for all intents and purposes, had achieved independence with the fall of the sorceress and with that, the contract with Garden was nullified. However, Squall held on to a deeper contract, one not written upon paper. Part of him wanted to accompany her, but Rinoa insisted that she would be all right alone - closing that chapter in her life. And that was fine with him; he needed time to sort through foreign emotions.

So much was new to him, opening exciting new horizons and possibilities, yet so much still scared him. He would wake up thinking the last months had been nothing more than a vivid dream. The certainty of its existence would set in when sleep no longer clouded his vision; he was only grateful that the events were real and not a fantasy created in his own mind. They were far too magnificent.

Now boundaries would have to be drawn, and a relationship defined…maybe he wasn't sure where the duties of knight began and boyfriend ended. Boyfriend? What a prosaic term. He inwardly berated himself for thinking the word; it was far too soon to believe in that. They had been through so much together, but now was the hardest time. The time in between the battles - the peace. It was easier when he had a set objective, something definite, but now he never knew what each day would bring.

He again ran his hand through long hair, combing unruly bangs out of his eyes. He swore not to over-analyze things too much right now, but only to look forward to the days ahead. Tomorrow was going to be his first test…she was turning eighteen. Their first official 'holiday' together, and he found himself on the giving end. She had told him not to get her anything, or go out of his way, but his friends informed him otherwise. Zell and Irvine seemed to have more experience with these types of situations. 'Seemed' being the operative word, as Squall had his doubts that they understood women any better than he did, they just acted as if they knew. But maybe sometimes that is all it takes: the confidence that he lacked.

A thousand ideas ran through his mind, but none of them seemed right…some too commonplace, some too personal, and some far too impersonal. It was hard at this point in their 'relationship' to figure out what was appropriate. The fact that he had accepted the role of 'apprentice knight' made it more difficult. She already had his ring – what else could match its significance?

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the cadets collectively sigh in relief as they walked the final steps through the gated entranceway. He would have sighed too, had he not been deemed the authority figure at the moment…so with his final orders, the commander dismissed the group as they saluted him; he automatically returned the gesture without so much as a thought. Whether he liked it or not, his mind had already wandered from things other than SeeD.

Quistis held her breath as she sat along the fountain's edge. She twirled fingers around strands of her flaxen hair, finding herself subconsciously biting her lower lip. She once again checked her watch, looking toward the main doors. This time she saw numerous cadets racing in - returning home with newfound enthusiasm. Her first thought was to yell at the unruly group, but right now she had something more important to do than be an instructor…to be a friend.

Looking once more at the small ripples of the water, she found the courage to stand making the short trek to the front gates. She had been elected out of Squall's peers to inform him of the change. To anyone else the news would be trivial…but he was different. This was all new to him, and even the slightest setback may be perceived incorrectly. Quistis knew of his past and of his fears…even if he refused to admit, or to face, them yet.

She watched as the commander walked into the lobby, lost within his solitary world. He appeared to be scanning the common area, and she knew exactly for whom. Though his expression never changed, Quistis could tell his momentary disappointment when she wasn't there.

"Squall…" called the instructor, with more hesitation than she meant to convey.

He looked over at her slightly leaning his head. Yes, he had caught the momentary uncertainty in her voice. Squall didn't make an effort to approach her, so she walked over trying to remain optimistic. Quistis smiled faintly as he stood immobile. This wasn't a big deal, right?

"Hey, how was the survival retreat?" He didn't answer, looking even more cross at her attempt to make hollow pleasantries. Nodding her head, the instructor could read his demeanor clearly. "All right, all right…Zone called…"

"She's not coming." He said it as a simple fact, acting as if he already 'knew' this would be the way fate decided his life. He tried to turn before she could see any hurt within his expression, but of all his friends, she could always read him the most openly. And right now, that was the last thing he wanted.

"Squall, wait…it's not like that."

He still refused to look her in the eyes, folding his arms over his chest. "It's fine, I just want to take a shower."

"Don't you even want to know why?" Her question came out almost a demand; she knew how difficult Squall could be at times. Without thinking, she reached her hand out, grabbing him firmly around the arm. He seemed to stiffen with the contact, looking down to where her fingers met bare skin. She quickly pulled away, aware of his feelings and the invisible barrier that remained. He was still very uncomfortable about congenial touch. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to mask signs of weakness by returning to the solace of his dorm.

A sudden fear engulfed his body, and he tried to ask a horrible question without showing undue emotion, "Is she hurt?"

"No Squall…not hurt."

That was the only answer he needed, "Fine, whatever…she has her life, and I have mine."

"…but she is in the hospital." The words caught him off guard, and he suddenly felt remorse for his earlier implied statement and tone. Turning to face Quistis without hesitation, he noticed her silently conveying reassurance with a returned smile. "Actually, of all the things…she had to get her tonsils removed."

A huge weight was lifted, as the words were assimilated by his mind. Even though Quistis had said she wasn't hurt, it was hard for him to accept that destiny would not be a cruel adversary once again.

"Normally it is an out-patient surgery…" She looked around taking great care that nobody else was within hearing distance. "But because of Rinoa being a sorceress, the doctor wanted to monitor her a few extra days before she was discharged."

Over the last month, her secret was strictly on a need-to-know basis. They wanted to give her enough time to accept the powers, and the responsibilities that lied within. Garden would know, the world would know…but only on Rinoa's terms. To her close friends it wasn't a major deal in the least; they wanted her to feel just as she always had…the person who was now accepted as one of their own, as family.

Scratching the back of his head, Squall wondered, "Why does a sorceress have to worry about something as routine as tonsils anyhow?"

She laughed aloud at the rhetorical question, "Who knows…magic can almost cure the dead, but it can't cure a facial wound." She emphasized her by pointing to his scarred forehead.

He scowled at her in mock anger, but even he knew she was just trying to make light of the situation. "Very funny, Instructor," the last word said somewhat sarcastically. Returning his focus to more important issues, he asked, "She's in Timber then?"

"No, actually she went to Deling. The hospital is larger and better equipped. Plus one of the doctors interned under Dr. Kadowaki a few years back. She made sure that he was Rinoa's primary physician. If we had been aware of her condition, we could have brought her back to Balamb. But there wasn't a train until the next morning… From what Zone expressed through the conversation, she was very uncomfortable. You know how stubborn Rinoa can be…I think she waited to the last possible moment hoping it would just go away."

He was grateful to hear that she was in a place that could handle the situation, and equally as glad that it was with someone they could trust. Then the realization dawned upon him: Rinoa would be spending her eighteenth birthday lying in a hospital bed. What a way to celebrate.

Like a faithful companion, he heard the voice in his head…the one that questioned everything in his life. Was he supposed to go to Deling City? Was she expecting him? If he did, would he look too desperate…if he stayed, would he look too inconsiderate? With the time needed for travel, he would be lucky to spend one full day there. Of course, if the injuries had been severe, this would never have been an issue…but everything had to be an issue to him. What does one do over something like this?

"You go," a voice insisted. He tried looking confused at what Quistis was saying, but even he knew she wouldn't fall for the act. Damn, she did know him too well sometimes. She reached into her jacket pocket, handing him a small white envelope. "Somehow we thought you might wonder what to do, so we made up your mind for you…tell her it's a birthday present from the rest of her friends."

He opened the envelope, reaching inside he pulled out a set a train tickets - one to Deling, and one from Deling, each with the obligatory layover in Timber. Quistis looked at him, eyes full of empathy, "Squall we just didn't want you to read too much into her not being here, it wasn't her choice. You know she would be here if she could, don't you?"

For some reason, he couldn't answer her directly. He truthfully believed she would, but somehow those 'old lingering doubts' would sneak up like a ghost from his past. Maybe that is why his friends found it hard to approach him on certain subjects – an occurrence that was everyday to most seemed magnified tenfold to him.

"It's new." He said simply, and his answer was simple, yet truthful.

"Yes, Squall it is…but trust me, it will be worth it."

The light of dawn seeped through the windows as crystallized morning dew cast a rainbow of colors on every inch of the train. The brightness of the sunrise woke Squall out of his tentative slumber, and it took a moment to gather his bearings. He tried to stretch, but only found that it multiplied the pain throughout his body. Whoever designed these seats surely didn't have the comfort of overnight travel in mind.

With the karma of the universe not in his favor, he learned that the SeeD car on the train to Deling had been removed for its annual inspection. At least the first leg of the journey had gone smoothly, as the private car was his alone. Honestly, the silence was a welcome companion after spending the prior week out in the wilderness. The peace alone was worth the trip, not to mention the chance to see Rinoa…no he wasn't going to allow himself to read into anything. When he did, he always had a way of getting hurt, or hurting those around him. It was just a simple visit to see a friend. Yeah…right.

He watched the countryside as it turned from barren to scattered buildings adorning the grasslands. The nearer the train moved to Deling, the closer the structures became until the fields were non-existent. Crowded streets lined the final approach to the city, and a voice boomed on the intercom that they would be pulling into the station shortly. The commander tried not to get annoyed when the man gave the mandatory spiel, one that he had heard too often in the last few months. As the train rolled to a halt, the conductor announced the passengers could carefully disembark onto the platform…the courteous way of saying, "Get the hell off my train."

Upon standing, a surge of pain shot through his spine, and he mumbled a few profanities under his breath as he reached for the overnight compartment. Every muscle felt as if Jumbo Cactuar's 'ten-thousand-needles' were piercing the skin. If the survival trip hadn't been taxing enough, he had just spent a night in a seat equivalent to that of an electric chair.

He waited until all the other passengers had vacated the car before grabbing his belongings. A black leather overnight carrier was the least of his two worries… Scanning the empty car, he made sure he was truly alone. Inwardly praying the coast was clear, he reached for a second bag. His friends had sent their own birthday presents along. Selphie had found a 'lovely' shopping bag adorned with two fuzzy kittens wearing bows and having a tea party. He wished he had time to find something else to carry them in…anything that didn't have doll clothes pictured boldly on the side.

In all his haste to clean and pack last evening, the simple fact he hadn't purchased a gift momentarily eluded him. Now he was here, in Deling, and showing up with presents from everyone…but him. He seriously hoped that something along the way would come to mind, or maybe something he passed along the way would stand out.

The gods seemed not to be on his side, when every shop he passed was either closed or only sold newspaper and tobacco products, the latter she would surely not want. He didn't really want to walk anymore when he noticed the hospital coming into view. Okay, maybe the idea of 'seeing her' again won out over fatigue, but he would admit that only to himself. He looked down at the shopping bag, and decided that somewhere during the day he would know what to get her. He counted on it.

Rinoa watched the sunrise from her window swirling her spoon in the lukewarm liquid. Somehow, broth for breakfast seemed very unappealing, not to mention the powdered formula they claimed to be soup tasted the equivalent of chalk. She tossed the plastic utensil onto the hard surface, sighing in aggravation.

The door opened with a small swoosh and Rinoa turned to see a woman in white lab coat walk in her room. The patient tried to smile politely, although her throat throbbed at the attempt.

"Uncomfortable, isn't it?" The doctor returned the gesture with sympathy as she studied charts attached to a clipboard. "I know. I had mine removed when I was twelve, but as you age the pain and discomfort only increases." Placing the board on nightstand, the older woman looked down to the tray holding the Styrofoam cup of liquid. "I think it should be illegal to call anything that started as a powder soup."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the woman held out one hand to the young patient. "I know when we first met, you were under heavy sedation. I'm Elise Vandermere, a colleague of Dr. Kadowaki…she asked me to perform the surgery. I want to apologize for accommodations, but usually I don't get many patients over the age of twelve on this floor."

Rinoa reached out accepting her hand, and then grabbed a notepad, scribbling her reply: "Nice to meet you too. The room is fine."

The doctor smiled courteously, pointing to the wall directly in front of the bed. "I'm glad the room is fine, but whoever they commissioned to paint those pink mogs on the wall should never work again. Have you looked at their eyes? I have more children scared to go to sleep because of those things." Elise quieted her tone as if telling a secret, "Personally I think it looks like they've had one too many." The sorceress tried not to giggle as the pain only intensified when she did.

"We just want to keep you one more night for observation. Headmaster Kramer wants to be positive everything is healing correctly before you're released. I'm prescribing some pain medication containing codeine, so it may make you drowsy. Let us know if you have any significant bleeding, earaches, or if you believe you are running a fever. And most importantly remember to drink plenty of liquids. A nurse will be in every two hours to take your vitals, but if you need us before then, please feel free to call…that's what we are here for."

Rinoa acted as if she was listening carefully to the doctor's instructions, although one nurse had given her the identical lecture last night, and another reiterated it this morning before breakfast. The doctor reached out, placing the back of her hand against the young sorceress' forehead.

"I'm sounding too much like a doctor again, huh? Rinoa, don't worry about a thing. Nobody knows your secret but me. They are under the impression you're a high-risk case due to your immune system's 'so-called' resistance to antibiotics." She paused taking a breath, noticing the emptiness that her patient was trying desperately to conceal. "I hear today is your birthday, I'm venturing to guess this was the last place you wanted to be."

Rinoa didn't answer. Deling City was definitely the last place she wanted to be today; she had spent countless hours looking forward to her return to Garden…more specifically to Squall. Somehow, it felt as if she had failed him…she couldn't help the situation, but put the blame on herself nonetheless. It killed her that she wasn't even the one to deliver the news, and she hoped he would take it at face value. Still, she worried about the way he would interpret this.

"Yeah, that's what I thought Rinoa, but these things can't be helped. At times, it has a way of working out for the better…fate can be tricky that way," the doctor offered with genuine compassion.

The door opened once again and a nurse entered, carrying a floral arrangement. Elise stood from the bed, and the two staff exchanged a few words before the doctor excused herself from the room.

"Hello Miss Heartilly…I'm Nurse Thatch, but you can call me Kimberley. These just arrived at the front desk for you. They're beautiful."

Rinoa looked at the pink carnations and small baby's breath overflowing from a crystal vase. When the nurse handed her the bouquet, she immediately ripped opened the card. She didn't know why…she had just hoped…hell, she didn't even know anymore. She forced a smile reading the inscription: Happy 18th Princess, love Zone and Watts.

Again, she was left alone with her soup - for lack of a better term - and found herself looking toward the outside world for comfort. She had done the very same thing as a child, just a few blocks down the boulevard. The view from Deling never seemed to change, no matter where you were. Pushing the tray away from the bed, she leaned back contemplating the idea of sleeping the day away. The door opened for what seemed to be the hundredth time that morning, and she felt like the main attraction in some medical freak show…the eighteen-year-old sorceress in pediatrics with tonsillitis. She refused to hear the 'tonsil lecture' again; closing her eyes, Rinoa hoped the nurse would think she was asleep and leave her to much needed rest.

The click of his boots echoed off the linoleum tile of the hall, as he strangely found himself on - of all places - the pediatric floor. Over his right shoulder, he carried his black duffle bag, and in his left hand the dreaded kitten bag. At least the sack didn't seem to out of place around here, as he had just passed a five-foot replica of Chicobo welcoming him to the children's ward.

"I'm here to see my girlfr-" He wasn't sure whether it was the term, or his surroundings that made him stop, but he had caught himself mid-sentence. The older nurse looked at him with more than enough suspicion to make him want to crawl back onto the elevator, or at the very least hide behind the giant Chicobo.

"Sir, you do realize that this is the pediatrics floor?" Yes, the woman was one-step away from calling the authorities. Squall wondered if the person at the information desk in the lobby was playing a sick, cruel joke on him.

"Rinoa?" a soft voice spoke from next to him. He turned to see a younger female doctor removing her lab-coat. The woman finished handing her jacket to a nurse, along with a clipboard and few other items. "Room 427…I'm Elise Vandermere, her physician."

From Quistis' words yesterday, he believed the doctor to be male. Without thinking he voiced his thought aloud, "I thought you were a man." Well, that came out completely wrong – he cringed at how that must have been perceived to her. He hated small talk…couldn't she just ignore that comment?

"Really? From the back, and kitty-cat bag, I thought you were a girl." No, of course she couldn't ignore it. The chuckles from the other nurses made him try to retain what equanimity had remained. He wasn't going to let this encounter get to him; he had more important things on his mind today.

Walking away from the desk was easy part…standing outside Rinoa's door was the harder. Through the small patterned window on the door, he could see her sitting upright. Her dark hair was pulled back into a lose braid, and a nurse was saying something while Rinoa nodded in understanding. She held a vase of flowers, and for a minute, he cursed himself for not stopping to get her anything…at least the daily newspaper would have been something.

Even from there, he could only stare at her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Even lying in a hospital bed, she still could light up any room. The nurse started walking toward the door and he quickly jumped out of sight so Rinoa wouldn't see him. Now he felt the part of the adolescent teenager…a world that was not his. Why was this so hard? Why was he so scared about just going in and just speaking to her? He had talked to her on many other occasions…well kinda. That had to be it…this was the first time that he had actually gone to her. Without their friends, without that extra mental support he denied was there, yet always counted on.

The nurse kindly acknowledged him as he leaned against the wall, at least this one didn't attempt conversation. When the coast was clear, he looked back at her through the door; she had just pushed her tray away, and laid her head back against the pillow. This was it, now or never…in all his years of training, nothing ever could prepare him for moments like this…ones that scared him deeper than any battle.

Keeping her eyes closed, Rinoa turned away from the nurse as she pulled the blanket up covering her shoulders. She listened to the silence as the person just stood there, and knew that whoever it was wasn't leaving until they had checked on her. She sighed in defeat turning back around, trying not to show any undue anger toward the staff. Yes, this was their job, but it was her life…and not to mention her birthday. She doubted that would get her any sympathy points with them.

"Rinoa."

Her eyes shot open, and her heart stopped. For a brief instant, she was in complete shock. It was like a dream, she had to be dreaming…that was the only logical conclusion. Maybe it was the way he spoke her name, the way it rolled off his tongue…or the slight hesitation she could sense in his normally definitive tone. Whatever it was, it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

Before her mind had a chance to know what her heart was doing, she jumped out of bed grabbing him in a deep embrace. By now, history should have taught him better, but Squall found himself stunned when she captured his waist…along with his heart. For an ethereal moment, his fears subsided as he returned the gesture, placing his cheek on the top of her head. He smoothed her silky hair with one hand, while the other firmly held the packages. Finally, he pulled away - not exactly positive why he did, but some habits die hard.

They looked at each other until Squall broke the moment by turning away. She had to smile at how timid he could be, as she sensed the uneasiness that still surrounded him. Maybe she did have a way of coming on a little strong, like physically tackling him as he walked in…but she simply couldn't mask certain emotions as he could.

"I missed you," her voice rasped out. She could speak, but it irritated her throat in doing so. Saying that to him was worth any price…

"I missed you too," he thought immediately, but he didn't reiterate those words aloud. Setting his bags on a nearby chair, Squall walked back to where she stood. "I don't think you should be talking right now, you should be resting." He attentively placed one hand on her shoulder, while the other pointed to the bed. "Now go Miss. Heartilly." She rolled her eyes at him; he was sounding more like one of the medical staff than her boyfriend.

Lying back down, she pulled the white sheet over her, and then started to reach for the outer blanket. She was surprised when he grabbed it first, and gently covered her body. Rinoa could only smile watching him as he moved. She could see how much he cared, even though he wouldn't admit to it.

Stealing a chair from a small table, he pulled it over to the side of her bed. He then sat down looking at her again before averting his eyes to the window. She almost felt sorry for him, for the first time in their relationship he was the one having to do all the talking… A minute must have passed before he returned his eyes to her. Nodding his head he softly said, "Hello."

She couldn't help but chuckle at him. He was so cute, so lost right now…but he was there. She just had to help him find himself under the layers of emotional scars. And if he even knew she had just called him 'cute' in her mind, he would not be thrilled to say the very least.

Grabbing her pencil and notebook, she wrote on a piece of paper, "You really didn't have to come, I'll be all right."

"I know you will, but I did what I wanted to do." Did he just say that? He inwardly cringed at his own corniness, at least in his opinion. Scanning the room he tried to find something to talk about, he had to change the topic quickly. The first thing he saw was the wall, and subsequently his first thought was, "Damn those are some ugly mogs! No…better say something more appropriate, sound more intelligent." The arrangement of pink carnations caught his eye.

"Nice flowers."

Oh Hyne, this was getting worse…he was commenting on floral arrangements with impressive adjectives such as 'nice.' Squall was realizing how much this conversation stuff was overrated. He never sounded this stupid in his own head, did he?

"Who are they from?"

Classic save, now he sounded like a jealous idiot. She reached for the envelope that was still attached on its plastic holder. He opened it, glad to have something to do with his hands. Reading the card something stuck out in his mind, something that he wouldn't have thought about had it been any other person: the use of the word 'love'. How simple it was for Zone and Watts to sign a card with it, how simple it was for the entire world to use it. Even if he had brought a card with him, how would have he signed it? Right now love was too new, yet nothing else seemed to fit…

A hand reached out taking the card back from him. She smiled shaking her head as if playfully reprimanding on his thoughts. She knew he was thinking something, but wasn't sure which path his mind took at that moment. With Squall, there were a million possibilities and she wouldn't even venture to guess which road he had wandered down.

"Happy birthday," he said as an afterthought. Now he was the going for imbecile of the month…how could he have not said that to her in the first place? Reaching his hand up trying to cover his embarrassment, he wished he was hiding behind the Chicobo statue right now. He looked over at the kitten bag and figured he could at least give her the stuff their friends had sent.

After retrieving the gifts, he sat back down placing the sack at his feet. Reaching in, he grabbed the largest box, hoping that it would take some of the pressure off him. "I think this one is from Selphie," his tone contained a hint of sarcasm as he handed her the package covered with Cactuar wrapping paper.

Rinoa unwrapped the present…a pair of chocobo slippers and matching sleep shirt. Next was the gift from Quistis, a leather bound first edition of her favorite childhood fairy-tale; she could hardly believe that the instructor remembered her mentioning it one time in passing. Zell and Irvine had combined funds to purchase a gift certificate to a restaurant in Balamb, one that Ma Dincht swore by. The final present caught her slightly off guard; it was from Cid and Edea…a silver marcasite pin outlining the shape of angel wings.

Placing all the gifts back into the bag, she was thankful to have friends that truly cared for her. It had been so long and they were family in every sense of the word, at least in her mind. She noticed again that Squall looked uncomfortable, and she wanted for him to feel the same tranquility that she did around him.

"Rinoa, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything - yet. I've been on a mission, and then…no…there is no excuse. I'm sorry."

When would he understand that just being there was enough? She never really thought he would come, hoped yes, but believed… Pulling the covers back from her body, she carefully got out of the bed. He looked up at her, not sure what she was doing. Offering a hand to him, he hesitantly accepted the gesture, and then she guided him to his feet.

"Rinoa, you really should be in bed."

Ignoring his pleas, she placed her head on his chest and her arms around his back. He fought it at first, until he sighed allowing himself to give in. She listened to his heartbeat quicken as the stood there, his muscles so tense for the few minutes. Gradually she could feel him relax as she stayed there refusing to yield. How many times had he thought about this over the last three weeks, just being near her?

"I missed you too," the words softy echoed in her ears. His voice danced in her mind, as his warm breath played with the hairs on her neck. Finding the courage to break the warm contact, she pulled her head away from his chest, and looked him in the eyes. For a second they searched each other with no words spoken between them.

Thoughts of the balcony raced through his mind, back to that first kiss they shared over a month ago. He reached down and before he realized it, he was kissing her again. He did it more softly than before…knowing how sore she had to be from the surgery, but just needed the sensation of another touching him, knowing him, exchanging so much in a simple kiss.

"Whoa, sorry Rin!" A voice raised in embarrassment.

Squall pulled away hiding his face from the two men in the room. He cursed himself for not hearing the door – training to be aware of one's surroundings quickly flew out the window whenever she was near. He thought of it as a weakness he would have to overcome, letting emotion rule over reason.

As he looked at the tiled floor, he felt unsure if he was angrier about being caught, or the simple fact they had walked in on something…well so perfect. Zone and Watts were part of Rinoa's past. He was aware they would always be a part of her future. The trio had gone through so much together, and he was grateful for the ties that bound them. She on the other hand, wasn't uncomfortable in the least about the situation, laughing hoarsely at the commander's reaction. Squall tried to retreat from his current position, but she grabbed his arm forcing him to remain closely by her side.

"Good to see you are taking better care of our princess this time," commented Zone raising an eyebrow to the couple. He held out his hand to the SeeD in offer to shake, much as their first encounter. This time Squall accepted, but still was careful to avoid direct eye contact.

"Much better care, sir," echoed Watts.

Rinoa squinted her eyes, glaring at the two, unable to speak a witty comeback.

"…Sorry Princess," Zone apologized. "I know that look…it definitely isn't a good one."

"Kinda like waking her up, huh."

"Nah, no bruises or scratches," Zone took a symbolic step away from her, "yet."

"Rinoa, if they are going to be here for a little while, there is something I need to attend to." Squall could see the disappointment on her face and reassured, "I'll just be gone for an hour or so…promise." She forced a smile, nodding slightly. "Hey, it's me in Deling; what kind of trouble could I get into?"

"Well Sir, Zone and I frequent this 'club' that is open twenty-" An elbow firmly hit to the young man's abdomen as Rinoa again narrowed her eyes at her friend. "Oh…yeah…never mind."

"Don't worry, we'll take care of her while you're out…we'll make sure she doesn't inflate all the latex gloves as balloons - again."

Squall looked down to her, as she tried to look innocent. He had to chuckle at the mental image. "Rinoa…you didn't?" She waved her hand dismissing his question.

"Yes Sir she did, not this time…but one of her many trips to the emergency room. It wasn't that bad until she turned a few dozen into water balloons."

Lowering his head, he stared her directly in the eyes offering a disapproving look. It was one usually reserved for students, or Zell and Irvine, on certain occasions. "Many times? Water balloons? I think there is a lot about you Miss Heartilly that I do not know."

Avoiding an answer, she ushered him toward the door making a gesture of goodbye. "Now you want to get rid of me, I see how you are." The door closed and he watched her as she waved through the small window. The end of the dark braid lay caught on her shoulder, as her eyes meet his with so much emotion and a hint of playfulness. For a moment, Squall wondered why he even questioned coming to see her, the choice so obvious now. He just hoped that she would never know about his initial doubts…and wished her friends had better timing.

Sitting at a small table, Zone shuffled through his deck of triple triad cards. He was on a quest to organize them alphabetically. That had not been his original intention, but Watts had flat out refused to play another hand. He had his doubts on Zone's moral ethics pertaining to rules that 'seemed' to change often - depending heavily on the situation. So to keep himself entertained, the man sat rummaging through his prized card collection.

Watts was leaning back into the chair that had been moved closer to the bed. He made himself right at home by removing his shoes, propping his feet on the edge of the mattress. The television was turned on, and now he was finding himself engrossed in a local call-in talk show.

Soon after Squall had excused himself, the nurse returned with medicine. She gave the patient a strict reprimand for being out of bed and not resting properly. Rinoa had made it through the first half of Watts' channel surfing, but found herself starting to doze in and out of consciousness. Both men convinced her to give in to sleep, and they would remain until the commander had returned.

The door opened and Zone made a meager attempt to salute the man walking in, afraid with his luck the card would go sailing from his hand. Watts motioned acknowledgment him slightly with his head, trying to hear the end of the show.

Shutting the door, Squall placed one of two sacks he brought in on the counter. The second one was placed on the floor next to Rinoa's bed. When he turned to see her peacefully sleeping, he was surprised at the vivid memory that flooded his mind like a typhoon…and the repressed emotions contained within. There she was lying serenely in the hospital bed, her face pale under the lights. It reminded him of another time, when she couldn't wake up. Part of him wanted to run over and shake her out of the sleep, just to convince himself that's all it was…sleep. The bed, the sheets, the distant look on her face…so void of life…so…

"Sir?"

The voice snapped him back, and Squall realized he had retreated into his world again. He reached to the bridge of his nose, rubbing his eyes trying to veil any signs of the momentary relapse.

"Sorry Watts…headache."

"Oh I hope it gets better, those can be such painful little buggers."

"Yeah," he spoke in almost a whisper under his breath, "painful."

"Anyway sir, as I was saying, they gave her some medicine and she's been out for about forty-five minutes. I know what she can be like when you wake her without the aid of narcotics, so I would use great caution."

"Thanks."

Zone gathered his triple triad cards, carefully placing them into his custom card-cozy that he had purchased after the 'Ultimecia Conflict.'

"Hey man, still have the Shiva card? It was one of my favorites."

"I'm sure it was," Squall withheld that comment for something slightly more diplomatic. "Yes, I thank you. It came in very useful."

"Hehe, for me too buddy, for me too." Zone looked at the commander with a smug expression. Squall glared back with a blank face, hoping that they would be leaving very soon. Sometimes he wondered just how Rinoa met these two, and how such a loyal comradeship could have formed between three such diverse individuals. Then again, he never understood Rinoa…hell, she wanted him around, and why she did was still a mystery.

"Well Squall, hope you are taking good care of the card. But hey, it was worth the price…that remains the best of issue of 'The Girl Next Door' in print. I still can't believe I sold my original copy."

Sometimes fate can find humor in such awkward, humiliating situations. If Squall could have found a hole to crawl deep into, he would have done so at that exact moment - when he noticed Rinoa had woken from the realm of sleep and now was giving him a very baffled expression.

He had to come up with a good, and plausible, explanation, "Um…um…er…long story." Yes, that answer was worthy of all his years of training and decisive maneuvers in a military war zone - which now manifested itself in the form of a hospital room. As a last ditch effort to drop the uncomfortable subject he looked toward her, reiterating, "Many times…and water balloons?"

She sighed in defeat, at least for the time being. Rinoa vowed she would get the whole story out of him yet. It was just so wonderful to wake from that state in between slumber and consciousness, hearing his voice filling her senses. It was so precious…every word was a gift that she would forever treasure.

The two Forest Owls laughed aloud at the unspoken interaction between the couple, a relationship neither man thought would come to pass. Both walked over to her, taking their turns giving Rinoa a quick kiss before saying their farewells and eventually leaving. Squall watched as the events unfolded, and wasn't sure how he felt when they had said their goodbyes. He knew the kiss wasn't meant in anything more than amity, but somehow he found himself envious of their abandon, how they could just be so free with their emotions toward a close friend…like the ability to open up was the most natural thing in the world.

"Oh sorry," he apologized when he noticed her looking at him. "Just…never mind…"

She didn't have to say it, he already knew what she was thinking, "No Squall, how will I know what you mean unless you tell me?" On some things, she could be just as predictable as he could.

"I'm just thinking that for once I have to do all the talking, it's kinda like you not being able to go on about useless things." Crap…did he just say that? "Must…correct…self," he thought internally hitting his head against a figurative wall. He scratched the back of his neck during an awkward pause of silence. "Rinoa, I didn't mean useless…I mean useless to me." Suddenly the word 'moron' popped into his head as he remembered hearing Laguna's thoughts. For a brief…very brief…second he almost felt pity for the man, now being on the other end of the 'moron' situation.

Finding the nerve to look directly at her, he was surprised to see her face turning red trying to keep in the laughter inside. Her hand was covering her mouth, and tears were forming at the corners of her eyes. She found his suffering a source of great humor, but somehow her actions actually made him feel less 'moronic,' for lack of better term.

"Water," her voice rasped between deep breaths as she held her throat.

Squall nodded in understanding and poured a glass of ice water that sat in a pitcher next to her bed. She took a few sips before handing the cup back to him. She pointed to the chair beside her, trying to urge him to sit back for a while. He set the glass on the tray placed next to her bed, and took off his black leather jacket laying it over the back of the chair. Finally, he sat down and they were almost eye level to each other.

She reached for her notebook jotting, "Well I can still write, anything new at Garden?"

"A few things here and there…Quistis officially had her teaching credentials reinstated. I spent a week in purgatory with cadets who make Zell look like the poster child for calm. It's just different without the influence of the Garden Faculty. The place has taken on a completely different atmosphere." He paused for a second and studied her, shocked at the words that came out of his mouth. "Rinoa, I really don't want to talk about work. I just want to enjoy the time away…I can brief you on everything when you return."

Squall closed his eyes when the subject was broached, placing his face in his hands. He hadn't meant to bring it up…everything was still too unsettled. "I mean…that is…if you decide to return, to live, visit…whatever."

The first week she stayed after Ultimecia, Garden had been more in the spirit of celebration than that of a military's institution. Rules made by Norg had been disregarded, amended, or temporarily suspended during the time. It was a period to rebuild, reflect, and remember all that was lost or gained. Two days after the official party, she had left again…back to the place where they first met on 'business.'

Feeling the spirals of the notebook hit the back of his hands, he looked down to what she wrote, "You know about it? Cid talked to you?"

"…Yes," he hesitated, feeling as if he was betraying a sacred confidence. "Rinoa, I know there are a lot of rules and regulations…I know how you are, and the freedoms that you cherish. I understand with my work and SeeD's work…I'm…I'm back on that again, aren't I? Seems like it always come back to work, doesn't it?"

He attempted a small grin, although she could tell it was forced. "Never mind, we can talk about that later too…it's your birthday, let's just focus on that." Reaching out he tentatively placed his hand over her fingers. Tilting her head, she smiled back, reassuring him the touch was welcomed. His arm felt something slightly poke into his skin, and he looked down to notice the hospital identification tag worn around the wrist. Something about it caught his attention…'Rinoa Caraway' followed by 'Heartilly' in parenthesis. Part of him wanted to ask her about it, but he figured that it was neither the time nor place to bring up that subject. Some wounds were better left to heal on their own, and he had already had his share of awkward moments today – enough to last into the next lifetime.

"Um…Rinoa I got you a few things…nothing big," he quietly spoke as if embarrassed by the thought. He let go of her soft fingers, feeling the regret almost immediately. "I…would have wrapped them…but honestly I don't know how."

As he reached for the bag, she scribbled something else down on her pad. When she was done, she handed it back to him: "Gift wrapping is not taught as a prerequisite to the SeeD examination? I'm shocked…really…"

"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm on the paper? Really, Miss Heartilly that takes much talent." She winked at him playfully, grabbing the notebook from his hands.

"MEANIE!"

He looked down at the new writing and for the first time had to laugh aloud. "Wow, I have been promoted to an 'all cap meanie'…this is a great honor you have bestowed upon me. And three exclamation points…I'm slightly disappointed it's not underlined…but guess I'll take what I can get. However, this does bring me to your first present…"

Reaching in the bag, he pulled out a child's magnetic drawing board. On one side there was a pen attached by a string, on the other side four various shaped stamps. "I think Selphie has influenced me too much, but here 'save a tree'…or with the way you're going on, save a few hundred" The last part was meant as a joke, and she knew it. Rinoa took the board from his hand, and pretended to swat it at him in mock anger. He pretended to duck, placing his arms in front of him in defense.

"Now I know why I don't buy people presents," he added, still acting frightened. "It's too dangerous…guess I should be glad it wasn't a puppy."

He could see that she was writing something with the magnetic pen. Again, she had written the word 'meanie,' this time with more exclamation points and underlined several times. He took the board from her, sliding over the bottom part that cleared the screen.

"Whatever," he wrote in reply. She couldn't help but start laughing again; the moment was worth any price, even the pain she felt in her mouth. He reached in his bag for another item, and pulled out an object he kept momentarily hidden.

"Since we were probably going to go to dinner tonight…I wanted to buy you the very best." He lifted up a can of condensed chicken soup. "See one step better than powder, plus now it now contains twenty percent more noodles."

She wrote on the board, "Can opener?"

He reached in the bag, pulling one out and commenting, "Happy birthday. I'm a SeeD, I think of everything."

All at once, his mood changed. She could see his demeanor fade back into the one of old. "Squall?" she asked with her raspy voice, instead of writing.

"Nothing," he mumbled, looking into the bag. Rinoa was curious of what was upsetting him and leaned over the side of the bed. She saw a small flat box still in the sack, and she could tell that something was bothering him about it.

"It's just something stupid…nothing special at all. I…I just…" She cut him off surprising him with soft kiss on the lips. It wasn't long, but it was perfect. She rested her forehead against his and they stayed there for a second. Finally, he sighed in defeat, reaching for the item…as he handed it to her, he felt like it was something that needed some sort of explanation, one he couldn't even offer at this point.

Opening the small package, she unfolded several sheets of white tissue paper. Placed in the center was an inlaid mother-of-pearl hair barrette. It was beautiful. Reaching down she removed it from the box. She ran her fingers along the smooth sterling silver, and then touched the inlay with her fingertips. Her eyes seemed to reflect with the small crystals on edges the barrette. She sat as silent as he always did unable to say, or write, anything.

"I just didn't know what to get. I just saw it and thought…maybe you could use it. But if you don't like it, I can take it back."

She shook her head 'no' at the mere idea of returning the clip. He watched as she leaned forward, reaching back for her long hair. Carefully she took out the rubber band, and with her fingers undid the loose braid. Her dark hair flowed past her shoulders, as the braid left wavy imprints. With her fingers, she separated the front strands on each side sweeping them up from her face. The back part of her hair remained down, gracefully highlighting her face.

And he watched her.

For lack of anything he could comprehend, he watched her. Why? Why was she still there with him? Why did she even want to put up with his moods? Why after every time he pushed her away, did she stay?

Shattering the tension like brittle glass, a nurse walked into the room on her daily rounds. Both jumped slightly as they had been caught off guard by yet another unwanted intrusion. Standing from his chair, Squall walked over to the far wall leaning against it for support. Crossing his arms under his chest, he watched as the woman repeated the standard routine as he had seen often in the infirmary. Finally, she left…leaving them once again on their own.

He walked over the table and grabbed the second sack that he had returned with. "I noticed while I was here earlier that you had a movie player...I guess the pediatric unit has its privileges. Being aware that I am not the best conversationalist in the world…I rented a few titles. I didn't know what you like to watch, so I rented a few out of every department. Figured I could hit on something that way."

Reaching in the bag, he pulled out two stacks of movies. She waded through the assortment, shocked at the mass selection in which she had to choose from. She really had no idea what she wanted to watch, but it didn't matter…as long as he was there, nothing else did.

Debating between action, drama, romance, and comedy, she finally settled on latter. Right now, drama and action would eventually remind her of work - this was the reason war movies were eliminated before she even had to look at them. Had he felt a little more comfortable, she might have elected the romance…but she wanted him not to feel so insecure about relationship issues right now – those movies always seemed too cliché for real life situations.

Carefully he placed the disc into the player, and then returned to the now familiar chair. Out of the corner of his eye, Squall saw her moving but wasn't sure what she was doing. A small echo finally made him look fully in her direction; she had scooted over to one side of the mattress. The back of the bed was in a sitting position, just as it had been the entire day. A taupe colored blanket mostly covered her body, except for her upper torso. For a second he looked at her with a confused, slightly scared expression.

As the movie started to play in the background, she made the same gesture…once again offering the space. Taking what courage a simplistic act like 'sitting' took, he finally moved toward her. Cautiously he took the space next to her, always watchful to avoid touching her accidentally. Not one time did she try to contact him, but always allowed him to remain in control. It was a big enough accomplishment to get him to sit that close to her, for any substantial length of time.

Together, wordlessly, they watched the movie…and three more that followed. She even found the nerve to slip a romance in during the later part of the evening. And sometime during the course of the day, he found the nerve to reach for her hand, holding it closely. For him it was a great relief from conversation, although he never regretted any part of the experience…okay, a few comments he would have rethought before speaking aloud…but overall, he had handled it with dignity. For her, she was just satisfied that he was there, that he had found the inner strength to face a few of his demons, no matter how big or small. Other things could be sorted out later; for now…it was a beginning.

The day went nothing like Rinoa had planned, but she wouldn't have changed it for the world. It was by far, the best birthday she ever had, or would ever have…but nobody knows the future, right?

Somewhere during the night, Squall had left for his hotel, and she wasn't even sure at what hour. The medicine had made her extremely drowsy, and parts of the night ran together like watercolors. But she did remember him kissing her goodbye; that, she never could forget. At first, she thought it was a dream, but it was far better – no dream could be that real.

The next morning she awoke to the noisy clang of the food cart, and another packet of the powder they tried to claim to be soup. She hated the fact that he had to spend so many hours traveling; the ones they actually spent together seemed few in comparison. Overall, he had spent twice as many hours of his holiday on the train, than with her.

"Miss Heartilly, this came for you."

A younger hospital volunteer came in caring something wrapped in green tissue. Rinoa smiled politely, her throat seeming slightly better than the day before. She pulled back the outer paper, and saw a single peach rose mixed with greenery. Tossing the paper aside, she held the lone flower by the stem. A white envelope fell into her lap, and she reached down picking it up. Somehow…she had not thought, this time not even hoped, but when she read the card, she knew.

"Whatever."

Maybe for some it wasn't the most romantic sentiment in the world, but right now for her…it was all she could ever want. She could live with rules and regulations, but she couldn't live without the adventure set before them. For just a minute longer, she held the delicate flower in her hand.

And it was perfect, just like him.

From the nurses' station, he watched as she opened the card. He could see her smile, and hear her laugh, although her back turned and the door closed. He could still see…

Turning around, Squall walked quickly out of the hospital, hoping he would make the train on time. On the way to the station, he couldn't help but think about yesterday…and for that moment in time, he smiled.

It was strange even to him, the way he felt with her. Almost like living a childhood he never had, experiencing parts of life for the first time that he never knew existed. Sometimes the change scared him, and he didn't even know who he was anymore. No, she hadn't truly 'changed' him, as others around Garden would gossip. Maybe she had just found something buried deep inside, long ago forgotten. He wasn't changing for her, but because of her… and that was all the difference.

Chapter Two: A Time of Peace

March 16th

He walked the long familiar halls of Balamb Garden, just as he had done every day for the last thirteen years. Over time, the size of his steps had changed, but never the determination that drove each one. It was as if he was always pushing himself to be better…not better than the next student, but better than he had been the day before.

Since he had been appointed commander, his life was marred by protocol and politics. Now a quiet walk through the halls turned from something simple, to that sublime, for many of those around. Half of the population idolized him for his actions, and the other half ridiculed him for his prosperity. He could feel the tainted glares of the latter upon him, and sometimes he wanted to do nothing more than scream. Scream for the world to leave him alone, scream so he could enter his silent refuge once again…scream just to know that he wasn't lost in a barren wasteland. But that wasn't him…instead, he bottled up everything into an emotional dam.

Maybe if he could come to terms with all that had occurred, the rest would fall into place. Part of him held back from still believing, waiting for something to happen…another sorceress, another war, another person in his life to leave without explanation.

He stepped onto the elevator lift, and begrudgingly pushed the button to the third floor. The commander leaned his head against the cool texture of the glass and exhaled, mulling over the monotony of his job. Even two months after Ultimecia's defeat, he could tell his future comprised of nothing but an endless ocean of paperwork and meetings. As luck would have it, the only break he had in the tedium was the survival retreat a few weeks ago…and of course his weekend excursion to Deling.

There was a certain relief that he was in there alone as the doors started to close…and just like some time-honored tradition seen in every movie, a hand reached in blocking the doors. Another hand soon joined it, as the doors were slowly pried open until the hydraulics took over completing the job.

"C'mon Squall, you could have pressed the 'open door' button," stated Zell sarcastically as he entered the lift with his usual spark of enthusiasm.

"Could have," the commander dryly replied, never moving his head from its resting place.

"You going to the third floor?"

"Yes Zell – that is why it is lit up."

"Man you haven't been this irritable since… Oh sorry, still haven't heard from her?"

If he had a Guardian junctioned and a 'stop' spell handy, this next part of the conversation would have been a distant memory. But like everything else, a simple elevator trip had to be an uncomfortable way for conversation to rear its ugly head.

"She's called once and has written several times, but nothing in the last few days."

"Didn't you talk about it when you were in Deling?"

Well, he had accidentally mentioned it, but immediately dismissed the subject as a faux pas. That day was too important to ruin it with an answer. Especially one he already knew in his mind and his heart was not ready to accept. He realized that no matter what, she would never join SeeD. It wasn't her…she simply wasn't one of them. She was one of the group, yes; one who was hired for money, no. Yet, he would expect nothing less from her moral values, and that was the terrible irony of the situation. Cid had presented the offer before she left for Timber, with extensive training upon her return. Squall knew that was why he hadn't heard from her, she had made her decision…and couldn't bear to face him.

The chime of the elevator sounded and the doors opened. Both men took a step out into the outer waiting area of the headmaster's office. Squall wrapped his fingers around the grip of his gunblade, wishing more than ever for that 'stop' spell right now. Anything was better than seeing 'that look,' the onehe got too often when his friends asked about Rinoa… The very one he got from them that fateful day she left with Estharian soldiers underneath the desert sky.

"No," he hoped that answer would be sufficient.

"Well, didn't you write her about it? I understand it might have been easier on paper."

Easier on paper? Hell, that would be farthest from the truth…somehow the words "Squall, I'm sorry – I can't be a SeeD" weren't any easier on his heart when he would see them printed in black and white.

"I never wrote her…not on that subject, not on any subject…I just never wrote her."

"Man, didn't she write you at least four times a week?"

"Something like that," his tone more hushed this time.

Zell deciphered the expression on his friend's face…one learned quickly growing up in the company of Squall Leonhart… It was that 'leave me the hell alone' expression, which until two months ago, used to be his norm. The martial artist and the others never doubted that Rinoa would return to Garden, but somehow their faith never mirrored the beliefs of their leader. Zell knew it best to try to change the subject, so he threw a few low blocks into the air, preventing imaginary punches.

"Coming to my party tomorrow night? Selphie has been planning it for weeks, hired a real band this time…not us trying to sound like one."

"No tap dancing right?"

Zell chuckled at the memory of Fisherman's Horizon and their almost comedic attempts at entertainment, "Nah…not unless Irvine drinks too much." The Commander raised an eyebrow at the comment. "Er…not like there will be any alcohol there, really sir."

Squall sighed; somehow the idea of an alcoholic beverage seemed to hold its own appeal right now…at least it would make his bi-weekly meeting with Cid a little more memorable. "Zell you're old enough to make your own decisions; I'm not going to police you every time I'm around."

"So that means you're comin' right?"

"I'll be there."

"Whoa man, it'll be great!"

Squall nodded politely dismissing himself, "I'm late for a meeting right now." Walking over to the headmaster's door, he knocked and then waited for permission to enter.

Turning around, Zell jumped back on the lift, heading down to the second floor. When he rounded the corner heading to the classroom, he was momentarily knocked off balance when Selphie jumped into his arms, grabbing him tightly around the neck.

"What the? What's up with you?" he managed as he pried her arms slightly loosing her near fatal grip.

"Zell!" she shouted, with her enthusiasm not going unnoticed by those around, "you will never believe who is back!"

"Come in." Cid shuffled a pile of documents from one side to the other, covering up some paperwork that had been lying on his desk. He looked up to see Squall walking in and gave him a reassuring smile. "So Commander Leonhart, how are you doing today?"

"Fine sir, thank you…and you?"

"I'm very well, glad to see you are getting better with these pleasantries, keep it up for a bit and you just may grow to like them."

Squall chose to ignore the comment, instead directing the conversation into a more professional overtone. "Is there any new business I need to be briefed on, before I head to my office?"

Cid felt slightly disappointed at the turn of the conversation, over the last months he was hoping the young man would confide in him a little. So much had happened to the teenager, that the headmaster thought his guidance might have been beneficial. The two of them shared several bonds…one of a father figure to a son; one shared within the warrior's code, and most importantly, one extraordinary history only bestowed upon few…the honor of being a knight.

The older man grabbed a pair of reading glasses on his desk, placing them on the bridge of his nose. He reached over for a leather-bound notepad, and skimmed the first few pages of the lined paper.

"Well, I have received the final bid from the contractor…the renovations will go ahead as planned, in total construction shouldn't last more than three months. I have put in a request for them to begin with the old Garden Faculty rooms, hopefully yours will be one of the first group completed."

"Mine?"

"Son, didn't you know? I'm sorry I must have taken the fact for granted…when I talked about moving the instructors with tenure into larger rooms - I was meaning all SeeD administrative staff. As commander, you will be getting your own apartment. Mind you, it won't be lavish, but it will at least have a separate living, sleeping, and small kitchenette area."

"Sir, I don't need a larger room, the dorm I have now is more than adequate."

The older man laughed candidly, as he scribbled some notes on his paper. "You will," his answer was almost inaudible between laughs.

"Excuse me?" Squall wasn't sure where the humor lay; he certainly wasn't seeing anything remotely amusing about the comment. Knowing this was going to take more time than he originally anticipated, the commander reluctantly sat down in one of the burgundy leather chairs placed in front of the desk.

The older man waved his hand dismissing the commander's question but in his mind he was thinking, "Yeah you try living with a woman and dog in a one room dorm…fat chance buddy."

Some things Cid knew more about than the baffled person seated in front of him…it would take time, but it would happen. It was destiny, and both of the Kramers had already resigned to this fact. There would be no stopping the bond once it started. The more experienced couple could only prepare them for the trials that lay ahead…both those physical and emotional. No, it wouldn't happen in the next week, month, or maybe even year…but rest assured, it would happen – and they would have an apartment when it did.

"Um…it's not important right now Squall. Oh, the first group of the students on the 'Rebuild Trabia Project' will be leaving…um…crap, can't read my own handwriting. I believe it's the nineteenth of March."

"Yes, it is sir. Selphie and Irvine are being dispatched in the initial unit."

"Not going to feel the same without her around is it?" Recognizing his comment may have double meaning, Cid quickly expanded on his statement. "Irvine's final transfer papers just arrived in this stack of 'bureaucratic hell' somewhere…now he'll be spending the next two months in Trabia, talk about coincidence…it may be that long before I find his paperwork again."

Looking down to the cluttered surface, the headmaster grabbed a manila folder; opening it briefly, he skimmed through several manuals inside. "I wanted to inform you that in my opinion it has become necessary to hire a few civilian employees. Some of the positions were those that the Garden Faculty used to handle, and some have become essential through the process of change."

The commander acknowledged him non-verbally, understanding that some outside help would always be required. Garden had dozens of non-SeeD employees: janitors, cafeteria workers, gardeners, and even the people who worked the front doors.

"Squall, next week upon your final approval, two technicians from Fisherman Horizon will be employed on full-time payroll. Now that Garden is mobile, we will need to have qualified mechanical workers. They've agreed to come aboard, based on our new military stance. However, if we accept any jobs that reflect the former 'mercenary' reputation, more than likely than not, they'll return to FH. We will assign a few younger cadets as apprentices, so eventually it can be handled internally…but that may not be for quite some time."

"Understandable…is that all sir?"

"No, not quite. I am contemplating two more positions…before the attack, I had underestimated the importance of having a secondary physician on the grounds…so as of next semester, I am considering taking on an additional doctor to help alleviate Dr. Kadowaki from all medical responsibilities. I already have a candidate in mind; she left SeeD to pursue a career in medicine. Because of her past experience, she would already have a working knowledge of Garden, and I suppose the idea was always in the back of my mind when she left."

"That would be a very logical move, and I know that Dr. Kadowaki could sure use a break."

"That's an understatement…I don't remember that woman ever taking a vacation." Cid paused closing the folder. He looked down at his desk as to emphasize a point. "And Squall, I'm going to hire an office assistant for myself. Someone who can help me keep everything organized; maybe for once I'll find something in this rat's nest."

"You mean a secretary?" Squall leaned to the front of his chair, somehow he didn't like where this was going. Any documents Cid saw were usually important, and to have an outsider with such access could be detrimental.

"No, no, no…I don't think that would be an appropriate description at all. I'm not looking for someone to fetch my coffee or file…okay, maybe a little filing...but to be an actual assistant to me. Their input would be asked for on various matters, and I would trust them to act almost like a mediator on occasion. Maybe if a person is not a SeeD, they might look at things a little differently. Plus, I can't even read my own handwriting…someone who could use a computer and a word-processing program would be a godsend around here."

"Sir, I'm not sure how much I like this idea. If it was someone to answer the phones, and schedule appointments, I would agree…but you would be taking a great risk with what you are proposing. No outsider should see your memos…no matter how illegible they are."

"Did you ever hear the story behind the capital 'd' in SeeD?"

"Yes sir," replied Squall trying to act indifferent. He felt a little upset about the sudden change in topic, feeling as if Cid was purposely trying to divert his attention without giving him a clear-cut answer.

"Well, forget about any official story you may have heard. Do you want the real story?"

"I guess." Was this a choice, or some life-lesson that he was going to hear no matter what?

"I'm going to tell you how much I could use the help. Do you want to know how bad my handwriting really is? When Edea and I first came up with the idea for Garden and SeeD…we were writing possible investors for the initial capital. I was in charge of ordering the stationery, on the request form I put everything down, faxed it over, and three weeks later, we were officially 'Seecl Special Mercenary forces.' Turns out the man at the other end thought the 'd' was a 'cl' – he couldn't read my handwriting."

"Edea was not very happy about it, as her last words before I sent it were 'type it please, so it is legible - your writing is the equivalent of chocobo scratches.' Well, in my haste, I just handwrote the damn thing…didn't want to go through the hassle of typing. After the mistake, I faxed the man back a strongly worded letter, trying to take some of the blame off me… In it I wrote, 'It is not 'cl' it is a 'D' and of course I underlined it making my point very clear. This time he called to clarify, and I said, yes just like on the fax…well three weeks later we were SeeD…as I had written a capital 'D' on the paper. I was furious, but Edea calmed me down, she always had a way of doing that. After a few days, the name just felt right. Anyway that is how we became SeeD."

Squall was surprised that he had actually found an ironic humor in the story. "Well sir, I for one am proud to be a Seecl."

"Very funny Leonhart."

"I thought so." The commander smiled briefly before restating his doubts: "Honestly, I don't see the need of bringing a civilian into the organization, especially for such an important position."

"Well, the assistant comes highly recommended, and I don't think trust will ever be an issue."

"Sir, no disrespect…but trust is always an issue with SeeD. If we are now focusing primarily on training and security, how do we know that an outsider will not betray the confidence? I think that promoting from within would be a much more feasible solution. What about Xu or Quistis? I was under the impression they handled day-to-day administrative duties."

"Well, Quistis helped out during the time of conflict. Now that she is teaching again, that will become her primary focus. Xu will be handling the recruitment and the Human Resource end - those duties before were controlled solely by Norg's intents."

"So why not promote from within?"

Cid sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Well Squall, this was based on my decision. Edea, too, met with the new assistant and couldn't be more pleased with the outcome. I can promise you trust will never be an issue."

"How can you promise?" Squall held the comment to himself, although he still couldn't follow the headmaster's reasoning. He turned his head slightly, not looking the elder in the eyes, finally conceding his argument, "Understood sir."

"Squall…sometimes…" the older man hesitated with his words, his voice echoing the regret, "Sometimes you can't always trust the people from within…you just never know a person."

Seifer. Even almost two months after the defeat of Ultimecia, Cid had not been able to talk about the boy to anyone. The two sat among awkward silence, one that Squall didn't have the courage to break…or the words to heal. The older man inhaled deeply, before grabbing a file lying on his desk. Squall watched as the headmaster fumbled in opening the folder; his emotions were betraying his actions.

"So anyway Squall, here is the welcome manual, and the written history on SeeD. There is also a required video presentation, which basically covers everything briefly that is in that book."

"Sir, why are you telling me this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry…I guess I should have made myself more clear on the situation. I want you to go through the book with the new hire, rules, regulations, that sort of thing."

"Shouldn't Xu be handling this? I believe it falls under the definition you just stated of her duties."

"Normally she would, but I'm afraid she is unavailable today, and since you may be working closely with my assistant, I thought you would be the most logical choice."

"Today sir? You mean that the person is starting today?" Squall couldn't hide his feelings on this one…he tried desperately to feel part of this organization, and sometimes he felt like he was the outsider. He stood from his chair, trying not to let his emotional dam break at this moment. "I feel like this is something I should have been notified of. I know you have the 'final' say when it comes to what is best for Garden, but seeing that I am supposedly the commander, I think a background check and a formal interview with me would have been the least that could have been done."

"Squall, listen…I understand. Under normal circumstances, you would be the first to know, and I would even insist that you would be present for the preliminary through final interviews. As for the other civilian positions, I am asking you to run criminal checks on before they officially start. This one, however, was a choice that I made, and will not go back on."

He was never one to question orders. He was never one to question authority, but somehow the entire situation seemed forced upon him. Cid had never used a subordinate in such a manner before, with the notable exception of Xu, and even she had her own duties during the conflict. Maybe the lack of previous assistance was due to the presence of Norg, and the high level of secrecy that had to be maintained on a daily basis…but why now…why trust an outsider of all things?

The commander pushed away his reservations, and walked into the small conference room. The shades were pulled, and the lights dimmed for the introductory video presentation. A closed circuit television distinctly showed the black and white SeeD emblem, it was the only light that illuminated the small space. Tossing the manila folder onto the table, he tried not to let any of his distrust, or insincerity, seep into his voice.

"I'm Commander Squall Leonhart, on behalf of the staff and students I would like to 'welcome' you to Balamb Garden. We hope your employment will be a productive and plea-"

He felt someone attack his waist from behind, and responded as any highly trained soldier would do in the identical situation. His body went into autopilot, and with one fluid motion, he grabbed his assailants' arms, twisting them forcefully to his right side. With grace-like ease, he flipped them over his shoulder, until their defenseless body hit the floor with a resounding 'thud.' Both of the attacker's wrists were contained within one hand, as he pushed his knee into their stomach, virtually rendering them powerless.

"Ouch," a voice whimpered out of breath.

The adrenaline of the short-lived battle coursed through his veins, but the sound of the voice made his mind wander in a completely unexpected direction. One that, fifteen minutes ago, might have explained the headmaster's elusive answers. He knew that voice; it haunted his every dream…

"Shit, Rinoa?"

"Uh…huh." The soft tone was more in anguish this time.

Squall loosened the tight hold on her hands, dispersing the weight off her abdomen falling onto his own knees.

"I'm sorry…I didn't…are you all right?" He reached over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. Only the shadowy silhouette of her hair could be seen in the darkness, but he knew it was her – his heart could tell.

"Can you say workman's comp?" Smiling briefly through the pain, she took in his hazy features highlighted with the illumination of the video screen. His hair slightly covering his features and his scar nothing more than a shadow stealth upon his face. His eyes, however, reflected the light like a beacon burning through the November gales. Rinoa momentary cringed realizing she had read one too many romance novels after leaving the hospital.

She started to speak again, but her voice, along with her resolve, caught in her throat. In that moment, the weeks of emptiness seemed to fade in the passing of time. With her now freed hand, she reached a palm up to his face, surprised at her own gumption. She allowed herself the almost forbidden pleasure of feeling his cheek. "I'm fine Squall."

He tensed at the contact, surprised that he didn't pull away from her. Reaching up he met her fingers, slowly guiding them away from his face. Each digit seemed to be an entity of its own, each something he had only dreamed about for the last two weeks.

He quickly released her hand, and then stood up, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. "Can you stand?"

"I think so, nothing feels broken."

"I'm glad…I hate all the damn paperwork." He reached down to her, offering his hand. She accepted the help, and stumbled forward slightly losing her balance as she stood.

A sharp sting radiated from her lower spine, and she had tried to hide the pain as she winced inwardly. No one could ever say that Squall Leonhart wasn't always ready for battle and she now had the war-wounds to prove it.

Squall had not stopped to remember why he had first entered the room. He seemed only to be focused on one thing, and in the dark, he found himself less self-conscious about staring at her. And that was exactly what he was doing…

She had realized this fact, and found herself not wanting to break the peaceful silence. The only sound in the room was the low hum of the audio-video equipment in the background. Finally, he took a slight step away, obviously starting to feel uncomfortable, it almost wanted to make her laugh…there was such an innocence contained within one so guilty.

"Rinoa…" he hesitated slightly before asking the question that he had dreaded. Somehow, he found the strength in the darkness to ask the impossible, "Are you staying at Garden?"

"Is that all right with you?"

"Hell yes!" Okay that would not be the diplomatic 'Squall-like' answer, so he settled on, "If it is what you want."

She smiled slightly before raising a hand to her forehead, almost looking embarrassed. "I do…I don't have anywhere else to go and…" she cut herself off, knowing that she was trying to make excuses for the real reason she wanted to be there. She took her hand away from her head, looking at him with more confidence, "I want to be here."

He found a certain euphoria within the words, but tried to remain collected around her; although he realized it was a losing battle. He had to say something…

"Timber?"

Yes, conversation with Squall Leonhart could be a little on the short side, she understood this point very well. At least she had the benefit of being able to speak without being under heavy sedation this time.

"Timber is doing well, thank you. In the last two weeks, they have organized a basic government structure without the influence of Galbadia. Most of the administration is temporary or at-large positions until the elections this fall. Well…okay, that didn't happen in just the last couple of weeks, but the last time I saw you the elections weren't a hot topic with us, so I just summarized."

"I'm sorry, I should have asked before."

"No Squall, you don't have to ask…please don't feel bad."

"But it's important to you…of course I should have asked," he thought to himself, and then swore he wasn't going to make that mistake again. "How are your tonsils? Or…I guess lack of."

She pushed strands of hair behind her ears, "They are happily living somewhere, which isn't in the vicinity of my throat. It was better for our relationship that way."

"It's good to hear you again." He cringed at sounding like a long distance commercial, "Oh, man…please don't think that was lame."

"You too," she answered with complete sincerity, putting his mind at ease.

"Cid…" he finally spoke uneasily, "Cid wanted me to go over some stuff with his new…" He could see her smile, and it lit up the dim room like Bahamut's Mega-Flare. The realization hit him for the first time since he walked in there giving his fictitious welcome speech. His feeling of culpability made him break the bliss, looking down at the yellow folder that lay on the table. "Rinoa…are you sure? The rules, the regulations…this isn't you. Are you sure you really want to work here?"

"Squall, are you sure you do?"

The answer caught him completely off guard. Never once had he made his earlier doubts known to her - about his feelings, or his scruples. He could never live with himself if he allowed Rinoa to compromise her principles, for something as pedestrian as…well whatever she was there for; his mind still refused to fathom it was for him.

"It's better." His answer skirted her question – but still truthful, again it was one of the subjects that he avoided back in Deling. "I was going to tell you before, now that Norg isn't controlling the intents of Garden, Cid is focusing on taking us in a different direction, one that will be leading us away from the mercenary reputation."

"He said something to me about changes for the better the other day, but told me that someone would go over everything when I returned."

"…when you returned," Squall repeated under his breath, amazed how wonderful each syllable sounded when he said it.

"Huh?"

"Nothing Rinoa, just…nothing. Anyway, SeeD is deviating from the mercenary stance. All Gardens have contracts in the works with local governments, to help train their recruits in basic defense and security issues. We will still be hired by individual sources, but only for the purpose of defense…no longer killing for money, only protecting - taking a human life will only be a last resort. There will also be more focus on hostage negotiations, and special op recovery."

"So, if I had tried to hire you now, SeeD wouldn't have helped the Forest Owls?"

"Well…technically…no, but we could have help protect you if Vinzer Deling had put a contract out on your life."

"Good…I like that." She replied, taking a small step forward as she watched his tense body slowly began to relax. "So I guess this means I can't hire you to stop Irvine from hitting on me."

"Well, technically that falls under 'protection' of human interest…and there are some articles that allow for more dramatic and persuasive approaches. Where you can't hire SeeD for combat, I think I would be willing to work independently if the situation was dire enough to warrant it."

"Oh, I love it when you talk all official like that. Now explain to me the detailed history of junctioning."

"Really?"

"No!" she playfully answered, hitting him on the shoulder. He was so cute when he was confused at her sarcasm. Oh crap, she just called him 'cute' again; she swore to break that habit yet. "Um, Squall, you really didn't know I was here, did you?"

"No, Cid seemed to have omitted important information about his new assistant."

"You didn't think I was coming back to Garden at all."

He took another step away from her, looking over to the video screen. He hated the feeling of being caught in the proverbial 'headlights'. There was no correct way of answering this, as he found to be the case too often lately. "No, Rinoa I didn't."

In the dark, she could see the moisture in his eyes reflect like crystals, and empathized with the inner turmoil he was experiencing. She walked over to him, this time placing both hands gently around his waist. "Squall, I know before I didn't agree with being paid to fight someone else's battles. But remember I did hire you. I think SeeD had its purpose, but I'm glad to see you moving in a different direction. I was honored at the opportunity to become a SeeD, and seriously considered it…but in the end, it isn't who I am. When I talked to Cid the other day, he was the one who suggested the assistant position…he said he already knew I would refuse the SeeD offer."

Rinoa closed her eyes, placing her head on his chest. "You still don't believe in me, do you? Squall, I promise I'm not going anywhere. I never questioned that I would return, the only question was in what capacity. As I said before, Timber was a chapter in my life…one that will always remain very special…but it's time to start a new chapter."

He leaned his cheek on her soft hair, and finally allowed himself to reciprocate the embrace. He tried to ignore that voice inside, the one that always caused him torment. "Is that all I am going to be to her, a chapter? When she is done with me, will she move on again?"

"What are you thinking Squall?"

"Nothing of importance."

"Right, like I would believe that. Don't worry, I don't expect you to understand right away, it will take time. But I promise you someday, you will never doubt when I say I'll be here…I'm not leaving."

"Rinoa, I don't doubt you…I doubt myself."

"Look at me," her soft voice sending a sudden chill down his spine. She placed a finger underneath his chin, making him look toward her. "Stop that. Don't doubt, just feel."

He gave in to his feelings, reaching down to press his lips upon hers. The hospital had seemed like years ago, and the balcony like several eternities. He pulled her even closer, if that were physically possible, not wanting to let the moment end. For the first time he felt himself brave enough to let his hand wander up her back, feeling every millimeter of her body.

"Commander Leonhart, if that is how you welcome all new guests, I am guessing that our female enrollment would triple by the end of the week."

The shock was overwhelming, and both stopped their actions very quickly. Rinoa covered her mouth with one hand, while the other smoothed the wrinkles in her clothes. The embarrassment Squall felt back in the hospital was nothing compared to having Cid standing there looking at him. He immediately jumped into attention saluting the older man.

"Hyne boy, at ease…gee'sh I was just kidding. Although I do have serious doubts whether I should let you welcome the two mechanics from FH next week, last thing we need now is an ugly lawsuit."

"I apologize about my behavior sir, it was very inappropriate."

"No, it was inappropriate for me not to knock. Trust me, I know what it is like to be separated…" The headmaster sighed knowing that no matter what he said, Squall wouldn't think of him as anything but a superior. Still he felt the need to continue, if not for boy's sake, than for Rinoa's. "Off the record, I know what you two are going through, more than anyone else here. Squall I trust that you will never let your relationship come between your duties at work, just as I know you will never let work come in between your duties as a knight. Can I ask you one question, and I want you to answer me truthfully."

"Yes Sir."

Cid took off his glasses, holding them by the stem in his hand, and then looked toward the younger man. "Squall, in my office, when I mentioned I was hiring an assistant, why were you so adamant about me not getting one? Honestly, what was your first thought?"

"That's two questions," Squall mentally complained, but he knew that right now he owed the truth to both of the people standing in the room. "My first thought…" He wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or proud of this fact, especially with her standing next to him. "…was about Rinoa. I didn't like the idea of someone having access to personal information about her, including any weakness she may have. I know that she has concerns about people fearing her…and I just didn't want an outsider knowing that she was a sorceress. But there was also concern for Garden in general. So much could be compromised."

"Good."

"Excuse me sir?"

"You answered truthfully, and more importantly…how I wanted you to answer. I can tell you one thing…that nobody else in the Garden would have agreed with your thinking. Their reasoning would be - you are Commander, and as such, your duties first and foremost, would lie with SeeD. There isn't another superior at any of the Gardens who would understand your answer but me. Whatever you do, always remember what is more important…because it hurts like hell if you make the wrong choice."

Rinoa stepped from where she stood behind Squall, moving over to the headmaster, "Edea?"

"It's not important dear. In the end it all worked out…I guess."

"Headmaster," offered Rinoa looking older than her eighteen years to him. "I know whatever you did was what was necessary. You managed to protect Ellone, and in the end that was all that was important. Maybe you were separated, but maybe you had to be. In the end you trusted each other's character, and came out stronger for it."

"Rinoa," Squall said her name trying to quiet her. Although he believed in everything she was saying, he still found it hard to accept her speaking her mind, especially to one in authority.

"No Squall…it's all right. That's one of the reasons I want Rinoa here…she has distance from SeeD, although she shows respect, she also isn't afraid to speak her mind." He placed his glasses back on his face, scratching the back of his neck. "There really was a reason I came up here, and not to make you two feel uncomfortable…although I did a damn good job of that, huh? Rinoa, I was entering your personal data into the computer, and was surprised that a 'Rinoa Caraway' came up in our database, as a student at Galbadia Garden twelve years ago."

"Oh yeah…" Rinoa turned away from Squall and the headmaster, almost ashamed of the fact.

For a second the two men exchanged a look, not sure of how to interpret the situation. Squall finally took a step forward, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Rinoa, what is it?"

She turned around smiling embarrassedly, "Nothing really…yeah that was me. I never attended; I was just accepted. I didn't make the connection right away to Garden, I was so young…and it was a lifetime ago." She took a deep breath, acting as pained by the memory. "When I was six, almost a year after my mother died…well…my dad wasn't himself. He ended up going away on a very long mission, and enrolled me in military school. Really, that whole time is just a blur, I remember some guy coming out to the mansion and talking to me. I'm not sure what happened, but somehow I ended up staying with my grandparents for two years…I never actually attended."

"Well, that explains the lack of data, I wasn't sure what was going on…just surprised that anything came up at all. I'll let you two get back to the um…history of SeeD."

The older man left the room, as Squall's hand still gently rested on her shoulder. "Rinoa, I know it's none of my business…but I noticed you called him 'dad' just a second ago."

Reaching her hand to meet his, she interlocked their fingers forcing back the tears. "Well, I guess…he was 'dad' to me back then. I think when he abandoned me for so long, that was the beginning of the end for us…I needed him then. That's what made him Caraway."

"You…stayed with your grandparents?"

"Yeah, they lived in Timber…my mother's side of the family. Didn't I ever mention that she was born in Timber? She moved to Deling to make it big, it was her dream."

"No, I didn't know." Now some of her desire to help free Timber made sense. It wasn't just because the town was occupied; it was a part of her history. She had lived there for two years, and it became a second home to her…and he was guessing more a home than Deling City after Julia's death. Moreover, it was her mother's history too, and maybe Rinoa felt she was fighting for her memory.

"You know Squall, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I think that SeeD history is starting to look exciting."

If there was one thing he could understand, was when a subject bothered a person, and they truly no longer wished to speak about it. He knew that Rinoa had her past, just as he did…if someday she wanted to talk about it, he would be there.

"Come here," he whispered, yet his voice reached, pulling her closer. She rested her head on his chest once again, feeling comforted by hiding within the shadows of the room.

She closed her eyes, just enjoying the incredible calm of his arms around her, protecting her from the memories that were still hard for her to fathom. "You know Squall…I am starting to think the world is against us."

"What?" He didn't mean to sound that surprised, her comment just caught him off guard.

"Well at the hospital Zone and Watts walked in, and now it was Cid."

"Don't forget the balcony, when Selphie ran out and asked if 'we could do it over' because she missed it the first time."

Rinoa laughed at the memory. "Yeah that was pretty…uncomfortable for you I'm sure."

"Slightly…"

"Well, someday it won't be so uncomfortable…you'll get used to it."

"I'm trying," he spoke hoarsely. In unison they looked at each other, she winked mischievously as he bent down to finish the kiss they had started earlier. And again, fate set another obstacle in their way…technically four of them. This time Squall heard the door opening, and almost ended pushing Rinoa off him trying to separate their bodies. She raised her hands skyward, admitting defeat as the lights brightly illuminated the room.

"Rinoa!" Zell ran into the room, grabbing her body off the ground weightlessly and spinning her around. "It's true, you are here!"

"Yes, it's really me…"

When he set her down, she waited for the slight dizziness to subside, and her momentary blindness to fade. She noticed the four people, correction: four friends, standing in front of her. Laughing a little, she walked over to the rest of the group. Quistis was the second to greet her, pulling the younger girl into a hug. "Missed you, hun."

"You too," she replied sincerely as she pulled away.

Selphie let out a slight squeal, as she hugged her friend. "I saw you earlier walking in the halls! I had to find everyone; we finally asked Cid where you two were!"

"Just been in here, watching some exciting welcome videos."

"Oh I know! Did you see me? Those were all produced in Trabia while I was still there. I'm in the background in several shots…and the actress in the scene 'how to use the keycard system.' I was the one who kept getting the red light because I swiped my identification too fast!"

"Yes, yes…I noticed. Your acting abilities were great, I really felt for you when you couldn't enter that room," she playfully teased, hugging the girl a second time.

"We didn't interrupt anything, did we?" Irvine smirked in the general direction of the commander, as he lowered his cowboy hat over his eyes. "Squall seems a little quiet over there…and slightly annoyed."

"He's fine Irvine… No more annoyed than usual, and you didn't interrupt. Glad to see you."

"You too darlin,' it's not the same without that beautiful smile, and those gorgeous deep-brown chocolate eyes." Irvine reached down capturing her right hand, lifting it to his mouth. He delicately kissed it sweetly saying, "It's always a pleasure to be in the company of such an attractive lady."

"Oh-puleese," interjected Zell. "Squall I'm feeling ill, isn't there some kind of rule about 'cheesy' pick-up lines at Garden? Especially, comparing eye-color to food."

"No, but there should be," the commander added sarcastically.

Selphie elbowed Irvine in the stomach. "Hey guys I'm just kiddin', you know me."

"Yes we do, that is what scares us," stated Quistis.

"Hey Rin, it's my birthday party tomorrow night! Selphie's been planning it for a while, there will be a real band, lots of music, and food…it'll be great. You'll be there right?"

"Of course Zell, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Squall stood back and watched the group around him interact. To them it was so easy, so natural. Even Quistis was laughing and smiling, a side of her demeanor he hardly ever saw out of her normally professional appearance. Irvine had placed his arm around Selphie, who had thrown it off the first time…but his persistence paid off in the end. She no longer fought his advances, and eventually leaned up against him for support. Zell moved back and forth, unable to stand in one place very long…he was like an endless faucet of energy that nobody ever turned off.

And Rinoa, of course he couldn't stop watching her, although he tried not to look obvious. She was there; she had really come back…all the others believed she would, yet he still carried his doubts.

"You still don't believe in me, do you? Squall, I promise I'm not going anywhere."

"You're home now," he whispered under his breath. "You're home."

Chapter Three: A Time to Laugh

March 17th

Rinoa's hand started trembling as she reached just a little further into the darkened shadows. It had now become a personal challenge that she had to win…it taunted her, it tracked her every breath as if by radar. Her body tried to drive back the overwhelming anxiety, and she found herself almost starting to hyperventilate, reminding herself to inhale the surrounding oxygen into her lungs.

She was so close; the victory could be hers if she could just find the inner strength.

Every muscle in her body was screaming for her to turn the other way and run…run far away. But she had to make a stand; this was her place now, her home. She wouldn't cower in fear as she had most of her life. She was older now, and a sorceress, she had helped save the world for God's sake…but this took more. It was within her grasp…just a little further….

A scream echoed through the deserted hallway of Balamb Garden. Selphie was just outside her friend's door, and frantically knocked, afraid of what horror she may find inside. She had never heard Rinoa yell in battle. The young sorceress had usually hid her panic from the group, or bottled the emotion almost to a point of not speaking. That is when they could tell she was truly upset.

"Rinoa, are you all right?"

"It's…open…" a voice trailed from inside.

Selphie ran into see Rinoa standing on her bed, looking like a terrified child.

"What? What is it?"

"Spider…big black hairy spider." Rinoa pointed to the ceiling on the other side of her room. "I was trying to kill it…it jumped toward me, I swear it lunged."

Selphie looked at the ceiling and then back to Rinoa, apprehensively saying, "Where is it now?"

"Floor…somewhere over there," she pointed underneath a wooden chair.

"Eeek!" Selphie screamed as she jumped onto the bed next to her friend. The normally fearless girl thought she too saw the 'monstrous arachnid' getting ready for a surprise ambush. The two girls stood holding one another, looking toward the floorboards.

"You know, Selph…this doesn't look good."

"You mean a SeeD and a sorceress, cowering from an eight-legged freak of nature?"

"Something like that. Have any magic on you? I'm thinking Eden would come in handy right about now."

"Um, no…guess you didn't know."

"Know what?"

"Cid has started to avoid from relying on Para-magic. With Norg gone, more details about memory loss related to the Guardian Forces surfaced. So, as a general rule, they are only to be used on very rare occasions and…oh Diablo! I just saw it move! It's huge! What about your sorceress' abilities, can't you do something?"

"You would think so, but Edea hasn't taught me how to harness the energy yet. But…okay it's worth a try at this point." Rinoa put out a hand and closed her eyes, focusing all her strength on the menacing creature. A sudden eruption resonated throughout the room, echoing out into the empty corridors of the hallway. They both covered their faces, as debris flew toward them, and smoke cloaked the room like a mysterious fog.

"Crap Rinoa, didn't mean for you to totally obliterate us in the process."

"Guess I have a little more energy than I thought. Now it's going to take me another whole day to clean this place up." Rinoa sighed sitting down onto the mattress, placing her bare feet over the edge onto the floor. She fanned the air nearby, trying to clear her lungs. Just as she started putting her weight on her toes a black, and very hairy, foe emerged from the rubble that once resembled a chair. "It's not dead!" She leapt back onto the bed with the speed reminiscent of a lightning bolt, standing again with Selphie on top of the comforter.

At about that time, they heard someone running down the hallway - the metal clangs of footsteps resounded with each hurried step. Two figures emerged from the other side of the doorframe, waving the remaining clouds of the smoke out of their eyes.

"Rinoa, are you okay?" Squall's voice was filled with concern. He entered the room, with Irvine closely following.

"Selphie, you in here?" The gunman's comment almost overlapped the Commander's.

The two women looked toward each other as the smoke began to thin on 'their level.' "Um…we're fine." It was said in unison, and no further details were offered…slightly humiliated of the truth.

"What happened, are you hurt…did someone attack you?" Squall's first instinct was that of a trained SeeD, and of course, that meant expecting some earth-shattering event like an attack by a hostile country, a rogue sorceress, or at the very least a Ruby Dragon with a toothache…

"We are fine, I just didn't know my powers would have so much…um…power."

"Yeah, Rinoa and I were just…um…testing her magical abilities."

"Damn it, you two could have gotten yourselves killed! Don't you know how dangerous messing with unknown power can be?"

"Squall…" interrupted Irvine, "Let me ask the girls a question." The cowboy moved in front of the commander, suspiciously looking at the two standing on the bed. "Now logic has taught me a lot about women, but most of the time, I still don't get them. You two will run head-first into a seemingly uphill battle, you can make it through time-compression unscathed, but by the way you two are standing up there, and seeing that we are down here…I'm going with mouse."

"Spider..." Rinoa bit her upper lip self-consciously as she looked down to her feet. "It is a spider."

"But Irvine, it was big…and black…and hairy…and staring at us…and it tried to kill Rinoa!" Selphie struggled to plead their case.

Irvine examined the floor around him, until he saw the black arachnid making a break for freedom into the hallway. He took a few steps forward, crushing it under the weight of his boot. The two girls cringed as their foe met its untimely, but well deserved in their opinion, death.

"The world is safe once again." Irvine smirked as he removed his hat, bowing toward the two girls. "Always a pleasure to help damsels in distress."

"Distress?" Squall's voice rose in anger. "Distress is being chased by a fifty foot electric spider through the streets of Dollet! Or being hunted by the Galbadian army like prey, or…oh God, I could go on forever…but this is not distress!"

Shaking his head, the commander walked toward the wall, crossing both arms under his chest. Everyone could tell he saw no humor in the situation, and needed a moment to collect his thoughts. Irvine sauntered over to the bed, offering Selphie his arms in some romantic gesture. She rolled her eyes at the scene, and Rinoa tried not to giggle at her friends. Finally, the cowboy won his battle. Selphie grabbed him around the neck, jumping into his arms as if he had rescued the princess from the fire-breathing dragon in a fairy tale. He cradled her in both hands, as he walked out leaving the other two alone.

"Um…Squall…guess saying 'I'm sorry' would be a good place to start."

She smiled hoping he would answer her, but he said nothing. His arms still folded under his chest, and one foot propped up against the wall.

"I know Squall, I know…it's immature to be afraid of a spider. It was staring at me, all those eyes…hundreds of thousands of little beady eyes watching my every move. I tried to kill it by um…normal means, but ended up falling off the chair as it leapt toward my jugular."

Rinoa looked toward the small window when Squall still remained soundless; his eyes seemed to be judging her. "Okay, okay I know," she started reprimanding herself, not positive if she was more embarrassed or ashamed of her actions. "I could have harmed myself, or worse yet Selphie. I violated at least five Garden regulations, and I haven't even officially started work. If you want me to leave, or want to reduce my salary…I'll understand. I'll pay for the damages out of my wages. I don't know…I…just don't…crap, I'm sorry."

When she turned to look at him again, he had one hand over his forehead, and his gaze directly at the floor. She could no longer see his eyes, only the leather glove hiding most of his face. The part that wasn't covered by his hand was covered with long stands of his hair. The heel of his boot remained against the wall and the second arm still over his abdomen clenched in a tight fist. She saw his body start to shake, and knew she was the one to cause him to get this upset…to be this disappointed in her. He was furious, and couldn't even stand to look at her. And then it happened: she thought her mind was playing tricks on her.

He was laughing. Squall Leonhart was actually laughing.

For a second she stood dumfounded at the development. Was he laughing because he was so upset that no other emotion could come through the surface? He pushed himself off the wall with his foot, walking toward the bed. Still his face remained down, and the sound of his muted laughter was the only thing in the room. He was now visibly holding the second fist up to his mouth, trying to cover his amusement. Finally, he looked up at her, and she could see the liquid buildup at the corner of his eyes.

"Squall?" Right now, she wasn't sure of what to do…this was just…strange.

"Rinoa," he tried to sound stern, although he couldn't keep the laughter seeping through, "Spiders?"

"I…I don't like them."

"I noticed. So it was…a large spider?"

"Yeah…huge." Her voice monotone, she wasn't sure where this conversation was headed.

"Okay let me get this straight. I was in my office, received a call that a scream came from the employee's living quarters, didn't even hang up the phone as I rushed out, ran down three flights of stairs, grabbed Irvine for backup, heard a loud explosion from the end of the hall, and then find out the culprit was a 'huge' spider."

"Yes, that about sums it up…are you mad?"

"I should be, if it wasn't so damn funny. Did you call it a 'meanie' as you tried to annihilate it from the face of the earth?"

For the first time her tension eased, and she placed both hands on her hips. She smiled naively down to him, "Leonhart are you making fun of me?"

"Well, I'm not the one standing up on the bed, now am I?" He offered a single hand to her, not the grander gesture as Irvine had made, but still, it was a start. She accepted it, jumping from the comfort of the mattress, onto the surface of the floor. He tried to catch his breath, "So Miss Heartilly, do I need to requisition you a new chair? This blowing up furniture thing - isn't going to be a habit, is it?" Squall lowered his hand down to his side, leaving his covered fingers intertwined with her exposed ones.

"No, it's not…and a new chair would be terrific. Guess I should be thankful it wasn't my laptop."

"Yeah, you'd be on your own there."

"Squall I really am sorry, I don't mean to be a pain."

"You can't help it," he said matter-of-factly. "But I wouldn't change it for the world. I have faith that if 'it' had truly attacked, you could have fought it bravely on your own."

"I don't fight well on my own, remember?" She smiled at him, reaching her free arm around his neck.

"Thank you."

She titled her head slightly to the side in confusion, looking into his eyes. "Thank you for what?"

"Making me laugh…I don't ever remember laughing."

"Good," she kissed him quickly on the lips. He didn't return the gesture, yet he didn't fight it.

Looking out into the hall, he broke away from her. It was as if a realization had him, how close their bodies were to one another. "Rinoa, this wouldn't look good if someone walked by. I need to get back to work anyhow."

She nodded in understanding as he turned, and then walked out the door. Rinoa didn't care that he had left abruptly – she understood. Exhaling, she closed her eyes, thanking the heavens that she had been given this opportunity. What must it feel like to be eighteen and never have laughed? With most people, she would not take the admission literally, but with him…she knew he was dead serious. To think, she was the source of this precious gift, his laughter…over her and one of her stupid phobias. Smiling she opened her eyes, looking at the sawdust and debris scattered across her room…now this disaster was another story.

Selphie more or less skipped across the ballroom floor. Taking a step back, she made sure the final touches were perfect on the decorations. She had managed to transform a beautiful, grand ballroom into something more reminiscent of a nightclub in downtown Deling City. There was a time and place for elegance, and a time and place for them just to dance the night away, acting like the young adults they were, this was the second.

She looked up as she heard several voices entering the room, Irvine walked in – no, strutted in - followed by three young girls. They didn't look familiar to her, and she didn't believe them to be current students at Garden. She eyed them carefully, trying not to act too concerned, as the cowboy seemed to have put on his 'macho' persona for the moment.

"Now ladies, this is Selphie Tilmitt. She's the one who arranged this entire evening. I was only in charge of the colossal responsibility of hiring the band."

Smiling respectfully, Selphie waved at the young women, "Hi, are you guys here for the party?"

"No," Irvine winked at her, "Selph, they are Akimbo the band."

"Of course, all-female band…should have seen that one coming." She hadn't really meant to say it aloud, but somehow it just slipped. "You guys can change over in the women's lavatory – first door on your left, outside those double doors."

When the trio left to get ready for the performance, Selphie smiled fiercely at Irvine. She couldn't put her finger on it, it almost felt like jealousy…but she refused to admit that. Around that time, they heard a few loud 'thumps' on the marble floor. Both looked over in time to see Zell completing a series of back-handsprings, followed by a flawless layout. Behind him, Rinoa was walking in, present in hand, shaking her head at the martial artist.

"You wouldn't think he is turning nineteen would you? I can't believe he is a year older than me."

"Well yes, but at least he doesn't blow up office furniture when a small insect crawls across the floor," Irvine added teasingly.

Selphie elbowed him in the stomach, foregoing all formalities of being gentle. "First Irvine, it was big. Second, a spider isn't an insect! Third, Rinoa and I are going to make sure the food is ready…you two start greeting guests, or do whatever you two do. Just tell your 'band' to go ahead and start warming up when they're ready, kay?"

Rinoa handed the gift over to Irvine, and then was almost dragged out of the room, with Selphie guiding her forcefully by the wrist. When they cleared the hallway heading to the kitchen, the leader stopped dead in her tracks.

"Rinoa, how do you know if you are in love?"

This caught the girl slightly off-guard. She wasn't expecting this question, especially something so direct. She wasn't sure how to answer it; maybe it was different for each person, maybe there was no answer she could give her friend.

"Irvine?" questioned Rinoa, although she didn't need to.

Selphie nodded, acting as if she was looking down the hall, making sure they were still alone. "I mean, I know I care for him…but sometimes he just… How did you know about Seifer?"

Rinoa froze, and she momentarily forgot to breathe. It wasn't as if she had been thinking about him in the last few months, beside the fleeting thoughts wondering if he was all right. It was still an upsetting subject to her. She guessed in her mind, that she must have repressed some of the memories. She was trying to figure out how to explain their relationship from that summer, and not make herself look foolish in the process.

"Um…well…" Then it hit her within her hesitation, the answer that she had wondered months ago herself. "You know back in Galbadia Garden, when you asked me if Seifer was my boyfriend and I said, 'I really don't know…I think I was in love…' Well, you know what…if I had to 'think' then that wasn't love. I cared for him, as I said before…he had confidence and made me feel like I could take on the world. Do I regret that summer? No, not really…because that confidence gave me the courage to work with the Forest Owls, and not just sit idly by like other factions. Because of that confidence, I met Squall. I don't have to 'think' about Squall I 'know' and that is the difference."

Putting a hand on Selphie's shoulder, the dark-haired girl looked into her friend's eyes. "Selphie, you don't have to ask me. You already know. Maybe your question isn't 'do I love him,' but rooted more from the fear because you do."

"He just…well he is such a flirt. I don't know. Sometimes I think I can handle it, other times…it gets to me."

Giggling slightly Rinoa understood all too well, "Again, you already know if you can handle it. Just don't expect him to change. I mean, to a point he will settle down, but he will always be that way…that is why you fell in love with him. When it is all said and done, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I think he would never risk your love on something so fleeting. Trust in him, trust in yourself."

"Rin," Selphie tried not to let the tears roll down her face, "I'm going to miss you. It's not fair that you just come back, and I'm off to Trabia. Don't get me wrong, I want to go help with the reconstruction…but just wish it was in another month or so."

"I heard about the project, I think it's great. I also know that Irvine gave up his chance to take the SeeD field exam to go up there with you. Right there, that speaks volumes about his character. And hey, I'll be here when you get back…don't think I'm leaving again."

It was Selphie's turn to laugh, "I'm not Squall."

"Thank God for that, I can barely handle one of him, two would be…scary."

The two girls finished walking down to the back door until they reached the kitchen area. Most of the staff had already retired for the evening, except the few scattered workers hired to prepare food for the party. The drifting aroma of hot dogs was overwhelming, as the trays were filled with more 'dog' combinations than any one person could possibly imagine.

"Selphie, you aren't serious…those trays aren't all hot dogs, are they?"

"Well no, not all of them…some are condiments for the hot dogs."

"I know he likes them, but um…isn't this overkill?"

"Yeah, I think so…but since this is the first party we've had for quite a while, I wanted to go all out." The eager girl walked over, happily pointing out some her favorite creations. "We have…beef hot dogs, turkey dogs, Chocobo dogs, corn dogs, bite-size weenies, bite-size corn weenies, and of course, tofu dogs – in bite-size and regular – for our vegetarian crowd."

"Wow…that is…um…nice," said Rinoa trying to control her laughter. "I didn't know there were so many hot dog varieties. I have led a sheltered existence, huh?"

"Nah, just need to be educated in the 'finer' things in life," joked Selphie as she walked over to the head cook, starting to dig through her small handbag. "Hey how much do we owe you yet for the catering?"

Rinoa felt guilty for not offering to pitch in earlier. The neglect wasn't intentional, it just was with her returning, she never thought about the cost of the evening. Of course, it would make sense that the party was not a Garden related event, so Zell's friends would be chipping in on the expenses.

"Selphie, please…let me help," she apologetically said.

"Rinoa, Selphie…you don't owe a Gil," a voice shot back, as a slender figure entered the kitchen. "The total bill has already been covered, along with the band, the decorations, and from what I can tell, looks like a fair amount of alcohol."

"Quistis?" asked Selphie in full-blown amazement. "You didn't pay for all this yourself, did you? We're going to take small donations at the door to offset the cost. This had to run thousands."

"I'm sure it did, but I didn't pay for any of it."

"Well, who did?" Rinoa's question also laid foremost on Selphie's mind.

"I don't know," the instructor honestly answered. "I went to pay the rental company for the stage…they informed me the account has already been taken care of in full. Everything is paid for, from what I can tell."

"Wow, maybe Zell has a fan-club we don't know about." Rinoa walked over to a center metallic preparation table, her friends following close behind.

Quistis sighed, leaning on the countertop, "He can have mine, it's more than annoying. I'm thinking the Zellies would make a good group."

"Wouldn't it be the Dinchties?" Selphie asked popping a mini corn-dog in her mouth.

"Who knows, but anything would be better than putting up with nonsense I do. I swear, the other day, they were actually auctioning off an old sweater I threw out with a spaghetti stain. Last time I checked, it was up to seventy-five Gil on the Internet."

"You could supplement your income nicely that way," teased Rinoa as she grabbed a mini-tofu-dog. She stared at it briefly, before flipping it in her mouth. After taking a few bites, she immediately made a face, grabbing her throat. It tasted nothing like a hot dog to her - the advertising label was sadly mistaken. "Water…I need water…"

Selphie ran over to the refrigerator, opening it up she grabbed a bottled beer. Twisting it open with ease, she handed it to Rinoa who quickly took a sip. "Oh God," she gagged, "this is worse than the tofu dog…and is far from water."

"Oh, just wanted you to live a little! You've never had a beer?" Selphie asked, raising an eyebrow at the girl.

"Um…no, I really don't drink. I've had a glass of wine on occasion, but nothing more than that. In Deling and Timber the legal drinking age is twenty-one."

Quistis laughed, opening up a beer she also retrieved from the refrigerator, "In Balamb it's only eighteen. I think that is because of the lack of entertainment – fishing and Triple Triad will only get you so far. I hated the taste too, but trust me it's acquired. I just learned if I wanted to keep up with the guys, you have to act like one sometimes."

"Right," spoke Rinoa as she swirled the foamy contents of the bottle around in circles. "Like anyone could ever think of you as 'one of the boys.' Trust me Quistis...that is the last thing on their minds." She took another sip, still making a face, "Gah! How do you two do this?"

"Like this," Selphie responded, getting a bottle for herself. She quickly drank half of the contents. "Don't ask…if you think Balamb is bad…wait until you are stuck out in the ice-covered wastelands of Trabia… Trust me, the stuff looks like a godsend when you're buried under a frozen tundra of snow."

Rinoa tried another sip, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Just never thought about you two drinking alcohol. I dunno, it just seemed… Well maybe some burgundy wine for Quistis, and a tropical drink with a small umbrella for Selphie. But beer? I guess there is a lot about you two I don't know."

"Yeah," replied Quistis almost quietly. "Rinoa, you saw what it was like when you first got here. So many rules and regulations, alcohol seemed the only vice they allowed us…in moderation of course. Maybe it was something to relieve the tension. It wasn't as if we had much to live for beside SeeD, they made sure of that. Plus dealing with Squall and Seifer…it was almost a requirement for the staff."

"You know, he drank," stated Rinoa, still mesmerized by the copper tint of the blown glass bottle.

"Who?" Quistis wasn't sure whom Rinoa was talking about.

"Oh…sorry…we were talking about Seifer earlier. I just remember that when I was sixteen, he drank. I guess, to me, it was as if he was defying some kind authority, breaking rules I could only dream about. It made him seem older…I don't know."

The instructor immediately felt protective, she wasn't even sure why. But the person Squall cared about so much, was now talking about someone else. She went against better judgment, or rather spoke from the heart of a 'sister' rather than that of an interested friend.

"You are over him, aren't you Rinoa?"

Rinoa hadn't meant anything specific by the statement, and the instructor asking such a straightforward question caught her off guard. She looked over to the blonde woman, who couldn't mask the concern on her face. The young sorceress set her drink down onto the counter before answering, "Quistis, I know what you are thinking. I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way… Selphie just asked me about him earlier. If you want to know the truth…I will always care about Seifer. If I saw him on the street, part of me would want to run up, begging him to tell me why he did what he did. And the other part of me would want to kick him in the balls and laugh."

Selphie raised her hand energetically into the air. "I'm going with the latter!"

Quistis looked at Rinoa, "Um…dear, how much of that beer have you had?"

She waved off the comment continuing, "Anyway, I will always remember Seifer, he is my past. But it was never love…maybe I had to go through that to know what real love is like. This time I know."

"Oooh, you love Squall!" Selphie blurted out openly in front of several of the cafeteria ladies.

The dark-haired girl quickly tried to cover up her friend's mouth, suddenly remembering days of pre-adolescent behavior. "Hush, Selphie!" she begged, wanting to do nothing more than crawl under the metallic table until everyone had left. It wasn't as if is she was embarrassed of how she felt about Squall. It was more the fact that she felt that, when he were to find out, it would be in a more dignified and romantic setting than casual conversation in a kitchen while drinking a beer. Or, of course, there was always the horrible possibility of Squall hearing it from the cafeteria lady, while she was dishing him up mashed potatoes. "Hey, you need some more gravy on those, and by the way I heard Rinoa say she loved you. Congrats! Ya need a spork for those taters', commander?"

She tensed at the pure ridiculousness of the thought, "Selphie…please? I don't want him hearing anything second hand, I owe him that much."

"Come on Selphie, we'll let them figure that out in their own way," added Quistis in her normal professional demeanor, always the voice of reason. "And if they don't figure it out soon, we can talk Nida into announcing it on the PA system, or even worse, I can put it out on the Trepie chat room."

Rinoa rolled her eyes taking another sip. "First of all, not funny…second of all, Trepie chat room, you aren't serious are you?"

"Sadly there is such a place, and trust me, you don't want to know what goes on there."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" exclaimed Selphie, setting her empty bottle on the counter none too gently. "How do you know what goes on in there? I tried to get in, I believe it's members only…"

"Um…yeah…well for 'research purposes' I opened up a screen name." The instructor hid her face in shame. "Call me 'whiphergood' board member number 427. Look, it's just freaky…I just had to know."

The other two girls were almost on the floor in hysterics. Rinoa held her stomach as the tears started running down her face as she gasped, "Whip…good…oh my gods."

Selphie handed each girl another drink, barely keeping her sanity. "Quistis how could you? I never knew that was you!"

"What?" The blonde woman was now on the brink of tears, "You what, you mean…?"

"Heck yeah! I had to know too, nice to meet yah…'thetrepeinator' at your service. How do you think I knew it was members only?"

The three were now past hysterical, and come to the point where one couldn't stop laughing…even the most ludicrous things, as they seemed to have double meaning.

"Ma'am," interrupted one of the chefs, addressing Selphie, "Where do you want me to put the hot dogs?"

Well, one could guess where their minds went in the current state. Selphie nearly choked on her beer, trying to catch her breath. "Ah…take 'em to the party…I'm sure the guests will know what do with them."

"Well…maybe half of them," the instructor choked out. "Unfortunately for me, that half either has a girlfriend…or a boyfriend."

"Oh Hyne," gagged Rinoa, "I thought we were supposed to be the dignified ones."

"Yeah, well…we deserve a break," countered Selphie. "We better get back to the party…see if any of the guys are actually eating the mini-wieners."

"Huh?" questioned the other two, the amusement never subsiding.

"It's a male physiological thing, trust me. Somehow they feel inferior…we used to serve 'em up in Trabia, and then laugh at the guys who would eat them."

Quistis lifted her bottle up to the others, "Here's to learning more about the guys…and each other."

"And to experiencing life for the first time, with a new perspective," added Selphie raising her beer.

"Here's to new beginnings with friends and family." Rinoa completed the toast, as the three lightly clanged their bottles together.

He wandered through the vast crowd. Although the commander was among a hundred people, he still felt the same loneliness as when he had been lost during time-compression. Somehow, these gatherings had not been any easier on him, and he desperately searched out his friends, one in particular. The loud music only added to his aggravation, as he hunted for a familiar face through the jungle of activity. If it was possible, he felt more uncomfortable here than at his graduation ball. That at least kept the appearance of dignity…this was random insanity.

If it weren't considered inappropriate, he would have growled at the mass of humanity crowding the dance floor. Not like any one would actually 'hear' him if he did, the bass in the music made sure of that. A hand grabbed his shoulder, and he nearly turned to bite the offender's head off, until he saw the martial artist staring back at him.

"Great party, huh? Been a while since Garden had anything like this."

"The words 'great' and 'party' are oxymorons," he pondered. "And damned if I would know, would have avoided this type of event like Leviathan would Quezacotl." He found himself yelling over the music, "I wouldn't know…never been to one."

"C'mon, Irvine has a table over near the food." The commander followed Zell through the massive throng, eventually ending up at a table near the back of the room. It was less noisy, as he could almost hear himself complain.

"Hey Squall, how you doing?" The cowboy's question pretty much went unheard.

"Fine," he answered without ever looking at the speaker, pulling a chair up to the table.

"So how's work?" Zell asked attempting to start up any sort of conversation.

"Fine." He hadn't taken his eyes from the crowd, searching the crammed horizon for someone. The two other men exchanged a knowing look, attempting to have some fun at the commander's expense.

Irvine took a swig of his beer, "Heard that your job requires you to wear a large purple T-Rex outfit and high-heels, how you feel 'bout that?"

"Fine."

Zell laughed at his friend, mouthing behind his back to Irvine, "Watch this."

"Hey where's Rinoa?"

"Rinoa?" the commander asked, turning to the martial artist. "She's supposed to be here."

"Here, you might need this more than I do."

Irvine set a full beer next to Squall. The commander eyed it suspiciously at first before asking Zell, "Hey, thought you said there wouldn't be any alcohol here?" It wasn't that he cared, just had to walk through the formality of it all. In fact, the question wasn't even out his mouth before he had taken his first sip.

"Well…didn't think there would be. But seems some people brought their own, and someone donated a few kegs and several bottles. Don't worry, it won't get out of hand."

Just then, Squall felt a cool slimy sensation on his bare arm. He looked down immediately, and saw the glassy reflection of the overhead spotlights in two deep-brown orbs.

"Hey there Angelo." Squall was surprised at the amount of delight he felt in seeing the hairy canine. Reaching down, he gave the dog a brisk scratch on the tuft of fur at the back of her neck.

"Look Zell, your date has arrived." Irvine teased as he also reached over, giving the dog a little attention.

"Ha-ha, very funny. Seriously I have to go mingle a little bit, don't want too stand around in one place to long. Must be social...and must go see if that hot drummer has a boyfriend."

"What about your 'friend' from the library?" asked Squall, again surprised at the words that came out his mouth. Throughout his head, he heard Cid's voice echoing, "Glad to see you are getting better with these pleasantries, keep it up for a bit and you just may grow to like them."

"She came here with someone. I don't know, thought we had something going. I'm not giving up, but not going to go through the night dateless either. Trust me, if this drought continues…Angelo might start looking good."

The two decided it was best not to reply, as the comment left itself so open-ended. And it was his birthday after all, so they, especially Irvine, held witty comebacks to themselves. Zell disappeared into the mass that lined the dance area. Tonight wasn't the scattered crowd, which Squall remembered from his first dance with her, and there was no way he would get out in that mass.

"Sir, how are you?" A voice loudly yelled from the hoards of people.

He sighed. Not that he wasn't glad to see Zone and Watts again, just it wasn't whom he was searching for. And right now, being called 'sir' was the last thing he needed.

"Nice to see you again," he said diplomatically to the young men.

"You too, sir." Watts answered.

"So where's our princess?" The Forest leader looked around the room.

"Rinoa!" he wanted to scream. "Her name is Rinoa." Squall wondered why the term 'princess' suddenly bothered him when before it never had crossed his mind. All right, that wasn't the complete truth it had crossed his mind at the time, just not in a very flattering way to Rinoa. But, that was before he got to know her - 'princess' no, 'savior' from his own self-destruction, yes. The term only seemed to degrade everything she had accomplished, in his opinion.

"Last time I saw her, she was being dragged helplessly by Selphie." Irvine volunteered after Squall's momentary retreat into his 'special place' as the gang had come to refer to his long bouts of silence.

"What are you doing here?" The commander wondered if that sounded too rude, but then again, he really wasn't in the best of moods right now. This 'socializing thing' was highly overrated, just as he had earlier learned about the art of conversation.

"Bringing Angelo to Garden, sir. The princess wanted to wait for a day or so…until she was settled in her room."

Taking another swig of his beer kept Squall from commenting back on the overuse of the blasted term.

"So Squall, did you meet her father yet, and get the lecture?"

"The king?" Crap, he said that aloud, didn't he? Okay, he could get passed this and hopefully they didn't hear the sarcasm…and what lecture? "I met Caraway."

"Glad to see you came out unscathed. You should hear some of the horror stories."

"What are you telling him?" Someone asked from behind. It was strange, the way his body suddenly felt more at ease just hearing her voice. He wanted to look at her, but didn't want to look like he was 'looking at' her. He never got the chance to figure it out, as he felt the slight pressure of someone's hands resting on his shoulders. The next thing he knew, she'd leaned over, placing both hands around his neck. She clasped her own hands together, resting them gently on his chest. Leaning down she whispered, "Hey you" into his ears. He could feel her intoxicating warm breath, mixed with the distinct aroma of the alcohol, playing tricks on his skin.

"Hey," he rasped out trying to act like his normal, indifferent self. "Must breathe, inhale…exhale."

"Nothing princess, just asking if he'd met the General yet." Watts finally answered the question.

She raised an eyebrow at him, still standing behind Squall. "Yes, he met him. And guys, just call me Rinoa here, please?"

"Haha, yes!" Squall actually tried to keep down the small grin forming on his lips.

"Hello again," said Quistis to the guests as she rounded the corner. A petite energetic figure also emerged, rushing quickly toward the table and the four-legged companion sitting faithfully by.

"Angelo!" Selphie cried, almost attacking the canine in an over abundant shower of love. "I missed ya girl!"

"Yo! Zone…Watts glad you two show'd up! Get some chow yet? It's a virtual smorgasbord of hot dogs over there."

Zone held his hand over his stomach, "No, I don't think I could eat right now. The car ride here did me in, think I'll be heading to the restroom."

"Shock…"

Squall held his comment, trying desperately to continue coaching his lungs how to properly intake oxygen. Rinoa remained standing behind him with her arms tenderly resting against his body. This was the longest time he had been in physical contact with her since the Ragnarok. He tried not to move, in fear that people might notice, moreover, in fear that she would pull away. "Inhale, exhale…darn it…don't look scared."

Watts looked toward the tables covered in food. "I don't know if I should…Oh wait! They have the mini-weenies…I must go get some!"

It was a statement that sent the three girls once again into mass hysteria. Quistis tried to remain solemn but quickly put her head down on the table, burying her face in her arms. The long blond hair hid the tears flowing from her eyes. Selphie was already on the floor petting Angelo, and literally fell onto her rear laughing. Rinoa released her hold on Squall, kneeling down quickly on the floor next to Selphie. She couldn't look up, both arms crossed over her stomach, trying to keep what little composure she still retained.

"What…what's their problem?" Zell took a sip of his drink, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary in his life.

"I have no idea." Squall stared down at the top of Rinoa's head, whose hair now fell gently into her face.

"Girls, care to share?"

"No Irvine, not really. Just…girl stuff." Quistis said between laughs, waving a hand toward him.

"Yeah right, next thing we know…you'll be blowing up the table." Squall said still watching Rinoa on the floor.

She looked up at him and he realized it was the first time he had seen her face. Her features highlighted with glow of the spotlights, eyes shining with the newly formed tears.

"I resent that." Squinting up at him, she tried to look hurt by the comment, but failed miserably…only laughing harder at the attempt.

"Yes, I had to rescue the fair-maidens from the evil clutches…'eight' evil clutches of the worlds scariest, hairiest, and now flattest spider."

"So you killed it? What did it ever do to you?" Quistis asked raising her head toward the cowboy.

"Well, maybe if it paid some rent we could have worked out a deal." Rinoa added returning to a standing position.

"You don't pay rent!" Selphie finally picked herself off of the floor.

"I was thinking of ordering a miniature replica of Lionheart, so next time I could defend my sorceress' honor like a true knight." Squall's deadpan comment made everyone laugh, including Rinoa, who usually didn't find humor in that subject.

"Wouldn't you need eight of them? Maybe put them on your fingertips?" Irvine took another drink of his beer, as Selphie walked to his side of the table. Sitting on the gunman's lap, she grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a huge sip.

The commander thought for a moment, before looking at the woman standing directly next to him. "That's ninety-six pulse ammos, sorry Rinoa you're on your own."

"And they said chivalry was dead." Protested the sorceress placing her hands on her hips in mock anger.

"Not dead, just on hiatus for awhile, buried under a mountain of paperwork. When I find the correct forms, I'll fill them out in triplicate, get them notarized, and have a certified messenger deliver them."

"Oh, Squall," Rinoa teased as she moved closer, wrapping her arms mischievously around his upper body. "You know how much I like it when you talk 'all commander' like that; you still owe me that history of junctioning lecture."

"Well, I can offer you the true history of SeeD now," he replied raising an eyebrow at her. "Plus if you're good, I'll read you the expense reports from the last six months."

"You really know how to show a girl an amazing time Squall," she said seductively. Reaching over she moved his face to hers with a simple touch of her hand until they were eye-to-eye. For a split second, she saw a deep-rooted emotion staring back at her, burning a path into her soul. It then was replaced with a look of a childlike fear, as some startling reservation that remained locked up inside made its way to the surface.

He moved her arms off, not forcefully, but definitely sending her an unspoken message. His heart for a moment had stopped beating just seconds earlier, only to continue now at double its normal pace.

"I just remembered something." Squall announced standing from the table. "I'll be back in a while." He nodded slightly, before turning around and walking off without another word.

In her heart, she wanted to run after him, feeling the guilt of pushing back into his solitude. It wasn't intentional and sometimes his actions were unpredictable, just as they always had been. She'd felt more relaxed after the two drinks, not drunk, but the alcohol had clouded some of her better judgment. Of course, he would feel uncomfortable with their friends watching them. He felt uncomfortable without them watching. She had been wrapped up in the moment, and now he would be paying the price. Instead of having a night of acting like a carefree teenager, he now was running back into his military world…a safe-haven for his mind. In that world, he always knew what to do…or at least acted like he did.

She sat slowly in the chair that he had just left, feeling the emptiness in the warmth of the seat. The place he should have still been in, if not for her actions. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" She chastised herself aloud, placing her elbows on the tables and burying her face within her hands.

"Rinoa, don't beat yourself up over it…he'll come back. I know Squall…just give him time. And some advice from me, if you want to hear it: don't change a thing you're doing. It's what drew him to you in the first place, just be yourself around him. Soon he'll learn to be comfortable with who you are, just like he will about himself."

"Thanks." Rinoa looked at the woman across the table from her, "I just don't think sometimes, I just wanted…oh never mind."

"Hey," a woman came up holding a drink in one hand, and twirling some tendrils around her face with the other. She had stunning auburn hair pulled loosely up on top of her head, and wearing a very tight sapphire dress - emphasizing every curve of her body. "Do you know where Squall went?"

"Squall?" Rinoa repeated, not sure why she felt a tinge of jealousy, but this woman was gorgeous…it was only a natural reaction.

"Yeah, I need to talk to him."

"Right talk…I've heard that one before. And of course to talk, it is necessary to wear a push-up bra and five inch stiletto heals." Rinoa remained silent except in her mind.

"I'm Quistis Trepe, an instructor here; maybe I can help you with something."

"No, this is personal."

"Of course it is, but we must define personal and professional dear…if you are 'getting paid,' it makes it professional."

"Oh, um…I think he went up to his office."

"Quistis! You did not say that…" The two girls exchanged a look, and Rinoa could tell that the instructor felt bad, like she had betrayed a sacred confidence.

"Okay, I'll go check up there."

"Over my dead body… Miss 'There-is-no-way-those are natural.'" Usually Rinoa wasn't the type to feel insecure or the slightest tinge of jealousy, but maybe the liquor was taking over her normal mindset. She stood up faking a smile toward the stranger, "I'm his girlfriend, and if it is personal…maybe I can help you."

"I wasn't aware he had a girlfriend." Replied the woman eyeing the younger girl with what appeared to be a slight bit of suspension. "Just make sure he gets this, and tell him I'll call him later." She handed Rinoa an envelope, marked confidential. "And miss, this is personal…I hope that you understand that word."

"Understand this!" Rinoa thought a few choice phrases, none that were too flattering.

"Oh, and tell Squall I had a blast." Smirked the woman as a final statement, turning around and exiting the party. Rinoa stood stunned as she watched the woman and her 'had to be liposuction' legs leave. Finally, she had to say something to break the silence, "Did you see how short her skirt was? Who would wear a skirt like that to a SeeD party?"

Selphie, Zell, and Quistis found irony in the statement. They watched the demeanor of their normally collected friend show a different side. "I don't know…maybe the same kind of person who is afraid of spiders." The martial artist said jokingly winking at the girl.

"Oh that hurts," she replied sarcastically. "That was different I was…er…um…well it was different!"

"Wow, did you see how short her skirt was?" Irvine finally piped up. The other four looked at him in disbelief.

"Where have you been, Irvy?" Selphie demanded, still sitting on the gunman's lap.

Rinoa glanced down at the yellow envelope in her hand. If only she had x-ray vision…but even then, she wouldn't do that to Squall. She trusted him. Still it was curious, not the usual type of person he would do business with, especially one classified as a 'personal nature.'

"Hey guys, I'm going to go for a walk."

She had gone up to his office, only to find the door locked and no lights appeared from the crack under the frame. Rinoa had also traveled down to the SeeD dorm area, and knocked on the commander's door, again finding no reply. Sighing in bit of frustration, she figured it was best to return to the party. The halls had a few students, some going to the training center, and some walking between the party and their rooms. Still she held the envelope firmly in her hand, as the curiosity was starting to get the better of her.

Tossing her hair behind her shoulder, she rounded the corner to where the main entrance of the ballroom was. She was surprised when a hand grabbed her arm from behind, catching her off guard. Quickly she turned as the figure started dragging her into a remote area. Although once she turned around, he had no urge to fight the assailant.

"Squall? What are you doing?"

Again, he didn't answer her, as they were now standing just inside the coat-check room. Luckily for this evening, it had been left unused, not being a formal Garden event.

"Sorry." He almost whispered in regret, unable to look her directly in the eyes.

"Sorry for what?" She asked his fingers still wrapped around her arm.

"For leaving."

She shook her head embarrassed for a moment, "Squall…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have acted that way in front of your friends, I just got caught up in the moment."

"Don't ever be sorry for being yourself." He said finding the strength to look her in the eyes.

"…You either." She responded with hesitation finding it increasingly difficult to breath.

He happened to notice the envelope clasped in her hands, as he looked away from her hypnotizing stare. "Where'd you get that from?"

She wanted to say what was really on her mind, but it was still very inappropriate in this situation. "A woman dropped it off. I was just trying to find you."

"Did she say anything?"

Rinoa bit her tongue again on the comments she would have liked to say. Simply answering, "Just that it was personal."

"Good." Squall took the envelope from her hand, placing it in his inside jacket pocket. He looked back at her and saw an unfamiliar look of insecurity on her face. "Nothing, she said nothing?"

"No, nothing." Rinoa turned her face away, embarrassed by knowing that he was reading her.

"She's very good at her job."

"That's…nice." Rinoa tried to think of a diplomatic, kind thing to say. She moved her back against the wall, counting on it for support.

He couldn't help but start laughing again, the second time today - the second time in an entire lifetime. "Rinoa can you keep a secret?" The curiosity was killing her, and she moved her head back to face him, taking in every detailed feature. "Her brother works in Balamb…as an exterminator. I hired him as a personal favor to me, to spray a few places for bugs. Your room, my dorm and office, and Cid's office…just in case any unwanted 'eight-legged villains' made their way in…. Wouldn't want you to have another traumatic experience at Garden, and require lifetime therapy…again more paperwork."

"But…" she tried to say, only to have a finger gently rest over her mouth.

"Shhh…it's my duty as knight, to save you either from a ruby dragon or hairy spider. Plus in all honesty, I'm not thrilled with the things either, but that's between you and me. Although I'm not likely to burn down Garden in the process of getting rid of one. If you're wondering about anything else she was referring to…I also had her do me another favor, but again this is 'our' secret. I didn't get anything for Zell's birthday… figured the least I could do was cover this event. I told her if she paid the bills, with my money, she could stay around and enjoy the party. She put all the receipts in an envelope for me."

"It…was you?" Her earthen eyes widened in shock, amazed at his uncharacteristic thoughtful gesture.

"No one knows…or ever will know, remember? Or I go to the store and get a pet tarantula. I can't let people know that I'm actually nice."

"Your secrets are safe with me, my meanie."

"Now, for something I should have done an hour ago."

He moved in closer as her body was still pressed against the wall. Placing one arm around her lower back, he slightly pulled her forward away from her support. He moved his forehead to touch hers, looking directly into her eyes. Somehow the fear he felt earlier was still there, but by themselves, he could contain that emotion long enough to act on a deeper, more primal one.

"Breathe," he whispered. Not sure if it was for her benefit or his, but somehow it didn't matter as he closed the distance between them. Pulling her body next to his, he gave into his human instincts.

Rinoa moved her arms between his jacket and shirt feeling the sensation of the soft cotton dance on her fingertips. His touch was so intoxicating, so gentle, yet full of passion at the same time. She could taste the bitterness of the alcohol still lingering on his lips, and the sound of his hurried breathing in her ears. This was the most free he had ever allowed himself to be with her, and she accepted the gift with knowing respect.

She felt someone nuzzle up to her leg, and unfortunately, it wasn't Squall. Waving her hand, she tried to 'shoo' the dog away, but the attempt seemed to be in vain. Without warning, the canine suddenly started barking loudly, and never in her life had she wished she owned a muzzle, until today.

Slowly he pulled away, although his body was screaming against it, aware that someone would eventually come to find out what all the commotion was about. And just as he figured, Quistis and Selphie came running in with a look of concern.

"Et tu, Angelo?" Rinoa squinted her eyes at her 'not so beloved at the moment' friend.

"Um…" Selphie started trying not to giggle, "We were just worried about Rinoa."

"But we see that she is 'very capable' hands." Quistis added with her own hint of sarcasm. Hiding her amusement, she put her fingers over her mouth covering her laughter.

"Geesh, is that all you two ever do?" Selphie blurted out, probably again thanks to the aid of the liquor. Not a comment she would usually say - out load that is - about her commander.

"I wish," Rinoa mumbled under her breath, just vocal enough for Squall to hear.

"Come on," he said grabbing her hand with a smile only she could see. "Tonight is not about us anyhow. Plus I'm getting hungry myself."

They walked out of the coatroom, followed by the two females still giggling, and the canine that had been sent on a hunt for her master. Selphie looked over at Quistis, pointing to the commander. Quickly she ran up beside him, tossing her arm playfully around his free side.

"Hey Squall, how do you feel about mini-hot dogs?"

Author Note: No spiders were harmed in the making of this chapter. In fact, the arachnid is sitting here nicely on my ch…spider? Husband, kids, anyone…help, I'm trapped!