Work Text:
Harry eyed the view he got from the roof, and sighed to himself, squeezing the sketchbook in his hands. He loved to draw. And he was actually very good at it; you could call him a professional. Apart from sometimes singing to his boyfriend, this was what he fancied to do, and he had taught himself to do it. It was early morning, and he was sketching the sunrise. His boyfriend was still sleeping soundly when he climbed out of their bed and into the darkness, waiting for the sun to make an appearance so he could sketch it.
Louis didn’t know about Harry’s passion for drawing, there was quite a few things Louis didn't know about Harry. It wasn't such a big of a secret, but Harry had some really personal drawings in his sketchbook - and maybe he was a little afraid Louis would think drawing was stupid. But mostly he didn't want to tell Louis, because the drawings were really personal to him. He had drawn really scary things in his book about a year ago - when he was really depressed. It wasn't really a single thing that made Harry that way, more so a whole bunch of things wrapped up together, but when he met Louis, the drawings started to change into happier things, simple things like the sunrise or the way the trees moved in the wind. He had also sketched Louis sleeping naked under a thin duvet, and that was the drawing he was most and now he had just started to draw proud of - but still, he never let Louis see anything.
All the drawings about him being slightly suicidal when he was about sixteen -God, Louis didn't even know that- and the drawings were just all very important to him and he wanted to keep them to himself.
“Babe, what are you doing out there? It’s six in the morning,” Louis’ sleepy voice came from the now opened bedroom window, Harry bit his lip, turning around to see Louis standing in the window, eyes only slightly open, his voice was hoarse with sleep, and he was really adorable.
Harry was quick to hide his sketchbook in his lap so Louis wouldn't see it, “I… uh, couldn't um… sleep so I… came here. It’s quite beautiful in the mornings, you know?”
Louis raised a sleepy eyebrow at the boy, rubbing his sleep-filled eyes as he looked down at Harry, before he disappeared behind the window, making Harry assume he was alone again, which he couldn’t decide if he was glad or not, but Louis had simply disappeared to come out the front door, walking over to Harry, because he was awake now anyway, and hey, why not come out and see the sun rise with his beautiful -and apparently early riser- boyfriend.
Harry chewed on his bottom lip, and tried to hide the sketchbook under his hands. He felt uncomfortable and part of him wanted to tell Louis to go back to bed, but that would be really rude - and Harry did enjoy spending time with his adorable boyfriend. The only thing was that he didn’t want was for Louis to see the sketchbook, he really wanted to wrap an arm around his boyfriend and hold him close and press kisses to his neck, but he had to hide the sketchbook with his arms. and it was hard to hide it, maybe there was a way he could get out of it, he smiled shyly at the sleepy and cute boy as Louis sat next to him.
"You sure you don’t need more sleep, sweetie?"
Louis shook his head with a small hum, kissing Harry’s cheek as he sat down beside him, “Wanna stay with you,” he said with a yawn, nuzzling into Harry, catching a glimpse of the sketch book, “wassat?” He asked in a sleepy drawl.
"Nothing", Harry murmured and looked away quickly, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously.
"What is it?" he asked again, raising his head from Harry's shoulder, curiosity more than obvious in his voice
"It’s nothing", Harry repeated sharply, but he hesitated afterwards, "It’s…" he began, staring down at the book on his lap. There was no idea in hiding it any more, since Louis had already noticed it. "…Just a… just some sketches…"
Louis grinned at Harry’s explanation, his eyes sparkling like a kids on Christmas morning, “Oooh! Sketches!? Haz, I didn’t know you drew, let me see!”
"No", Harry said softly and stole a glance at Louis. "It’s just… They’re nothing worth seeing…"
"Aw haz, come on, pleeeeeeaaasee," Louis drawled out in a long whine, batting his eyelashes childishly at him, "c’mon, we never hide anything from each other."
And really, it was kind of like a smack on the cheek when Louis said they never hid anything from each other. Because Harry had hidden so many things from Louis that he still didn’t know. And because of that terrible feeling, he gave the sketchbook to Louis and looked away - heart throbbing against his chest, and he wouldn’t say anything.
Louis smiled in appreciation, and instantly started flipping through the book, clearly not expecting what he had found, his expression varied between the drawings. The dark, depressing drawings made him frown, even wince at a couple, while the more lighter, happier ones brought his expression back to normal, and he couldn’t help but smile at the one Harry had drawn of him, when he reached the picture that Harry was currently working on, he put the book down, and was silent for a while. They were amazing drawings no doubt, hell they’d give Picasso a run for his money.
After a while, he looked at Harry, “How long ago did you draw the ones at the start of the book?” He asked quietly, referring to the pictures that sort of scared him.
"Uh…", he started off shakily. "It was… a year ago.”
Louis nodded slowly, “what… what were you thinking when you drew them?”
Harry didn’t dare to look at his boyfriend, “I was sad”, he spoke quietly and simply, like a small child, “And I thought that the only thing I deserved was the cuts on my body. I hated myself… I didn’t want to be me…”
Louis frowned as he listened to harry speak, “Oh baby,” he sighed, crawling over to him again and peppering his face with kisses.
Harry couldn’t help but giggle just a little bit at the feather soft kisses Louis was placing all over his face, which knocked him into a laying position on the grass, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you," Harry whispered, almost guiltily as he ran a finger through Louis' chestnut hair.
"You should have told me," Louis replied in a gentle, cooing scold, lying beside harry and just continuing to press kisses to different parts of him. His cheeks, his lips, his forehead, his temples, his chin, his eyelids, his neck...
"I was scared", Harry admitted after a while, just savouring the feeling of Louis' lips all over him and thinking about how god damned lucky he was. He wrapped his hands around Louis’ waist, "And I didn't want to scare you either", he added.
Louis finished his kiss-attack with a soft, final kiss on Harry’s lips, “You wouldn’t have scared me baby, and you know I love you more than anything yeah?”
Harry stared into the slightly older boy’s bright blue eyes and smiled, thinking that it was really nice laying there under the sunrise with him. “Yeah”, he murmured quietly. “And I love you so, so much, too.”
Fast-forward a few weeks, and Harry had a new drawing book, and every drawing in it now was full of bright, vibrant colours. Yellow's and pink's and blue's and orange's. He's draw Louis a lot too, because Louis was still his favourite thing to draw.