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Eren’s birthday had long lost its significance to himself.
Before, when he was little, they’d always celebrated his birthday. They couldn’t afford nice cakes or anything like that, but his mom would always give him enough money to buy cookies for himself and for Armin (and, later, Mikasa), and that night for dinner they would have a little more to eat than usual—not a feast by any means, but that’s what they would call it anyway.
Then Wall Maria had fallen and birthdays were the last thing on Eren’s mind. They could barely scrape by as it was, waiting until they became of age to enlist in the military; there were no funds to waste on frivolous birthday celebrations. The only birthday that mattered was in fact the one that turned him old enough to join the military.
Their Training Corps days? Not much change there.
The rest of the squad would celebrate the others’ birthdays, sneaking drinks and snatching whatever extra food they could from the kitchens. Eren always turned his nose up at their irresponsible behavior, criticized them for being foolish and wasteful in their dire circumstances… But if he was a little bitter and upset that, in all their years of training together, not once had he been asked, “Huh, so when is your birthday, anyway?”—well, that was just for him to know.
He shouldn’t have hoped, anyway. Because he didn’t care, right? Eren had learned to not expect anything out of his birthday. It never even felt special anymore—it was just another day, so what did it matter, really?
He hardly even remembered his birthday anymore. It was kind of an “oh, yeah…” moment and not worth mentioning to anybody. So when, not long after joining the Scouting Legion, it occurred to him halfway through breakfast with Levi’s squad that it was his birthday, he only gave it a soft “huh” of consideration before returning to his meal.
“Did you say something, Eren?” Gunter asked, and Eren looked up in surprise.
“Oh, no,” he said. “Nothing.”
He considered briefly telling them that it was his birthday, but he figured it wasn’t important or even very interesting, and no one pried further, anyway, ignoring him as they became engrossed in their own conversation; Corporal Levi regarded him silently for a moment, but then he, too, turned away. That was okay. He didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to himself.
Not long later, Hanji showed up, notes in hand, and next thing Eren knew, he was standing at the bottom of a well, thinking that he had to turn into a Titan for these people.
For Hanji, who only wanted to study him. For the Corporal, who only saw his potential as a weapon. For the squad, who only saw him as a possible threat.
Eren bit into his hands, and again, and again, but—again and again—nothing happened. He bit himself bloody, and it hurt like hell, but he was scared of disappointing and scared of being punished—but then the Corporal just told him that they were done for the day, and Eren thought he’d finally been given a break, and how nice it was that it happened to be on his birthday, a secret little gift for himself.
Of course, all that went away at lunch when his hand decided to transform for the sake of picking up that stupid spoon, and Eren found himself surrounded by Levi’s squad, the all of them yelling at him, demanding he answer their questions, and he was trying, but they weren’t giving him the space to talk, let alone breathe—
They didn’t trust him, of course they didn’t, and the Corporal only confirmed it, and even if Petra told him that night that they were relying on him and asked for him to trust them, Eren didn’t know if he could.
And if he maybe cried a little bit before going to sleep that night, then that was just another secret to keep to himself.
But though the events of that day stayed fresh in his mind, the fact that it happened on his birthday did not, instead fading out as a background detail, and Eren did not even think of birthdays again at all until a few weeks later, when Petra and Auruo were arguing over the chore wheel.
“Hey, Auruo, you did this on purpose, didn’t you?” Petra demanded.
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean this!” Petra stabbed her finger at the chore wheel. “You’re on to muck out the stables on your birthday!”
“Oh, that. Well,” Auruo said, trailing off with a chuckle.
“I can’t believe you,” Petra said.
“Um, excuse me?” Eren asked. “Why does it matter if he has to muck out the stables on his birthday?”
Gunter looked at him oddly. “Well, he doesn’t have to. That’s the point, isn’t it?”
Eren stared at him blankly, and Auruo snorted and said, “You don’t do chores on your birthday, idiot.”
“Auruo, he’s a new recruit, maybe he doesn’t know,” Petra scolded gently. To Eren, she said, “Birthdays are a pretty big deal in the Scouting Legion, given the death rate…that seems a little morbid, but the point is, we always like to celebrate birthdays. That includes doing the birthday person’s chores. Or, er, making sure they don’t die.”
“…Oh.” Honestly, Eren wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Come to think of it, when is your birthday?” Erd asked.
“Oh, uh, March thirtieth,” Eren said.
Everyone was silent as the implications sunk in.
“But that’s already passed!” Petra cried.
“That was the day you tried to transform,” Erd added, and Eren resisted the urge to say, Yes, I know.
“Eren, I’m so sorry!”
Petra looked distraught. Erd also seemed distressed, and Gunter and even Auruo appeared to be uncomfortable. Eren looked from face to face and felt like shrinking in on himself. It was unfortunate that his ability was to become several times larger.
“It’s…really not that big of a deal,” he said, going for reassuring and ending up really hesitant.
“Yes, it is!” Petra insisted. “Didn’t I just say it’s a big deal? And you had to go through all that on your birthday…”
“Well, we can just celebrate it today,” Erd pointed out.
“Yeah, don’t worry about your chores,” Gunter said. “Auruo can take care of it.”
“Hey, wait a minute!”
“Um, it’s really okay,” Eren started, but Erd shook his head.
“It’s only right. You can relax today. Don’t worry about any of your duties.”
“Hey, you know, your birthday’s a great day to catch up on your sleep,” Auruo confided, like he was sharing some great secret. “Well—so long as you’re not out on an expedition.”
“O-okay,” Eren said, uncertain. So, what—was he supposed to just sit in his room all day?
“But it’s not really fair for him to stay in the dungeon, is it?” Petra asked, looking worried. “Surely he can stay in one of the other bedrooms? It’s not as if we don’t have room.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay,” Eren reassured. “I understand why I have to stay in the dungeon. So it’s fine, really…”
Honestly, he wasn’t sure why the squad was so bothered. It wasn’t a big deal, and it wasn’t even like he was a part of their squad—they were just there to keep watch on him.
“But, Eren—”
“Hey, what’s all the fuss in here?”
All heads turned to see Corporal Levi walking towards them.
“Don’t you guys have work to do?”
“It was Eren’s birthday on March thirtieth, sir!” Petra said quickly.
A second’s pause.
“I see.”
“We were wondering if we could celebrate it today instead,” Erd added.
Corporal Levi simply shrugged. “That’s fine.” He turned to Eren. “Looks like you have a free day. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Yes, sir?” Eren was confused; he hadn’t been expecting the Corporal to go along with it.
“Was that a question?”
“No…sir,” he said, carefully keeping his voice even.
“Actually,” Petra said, “would it be alright if Eren took a regular bedroom, at least for today?”
“Hmm.” The Corporal’s gaze swept over him, and Eren stood uncomfortable, getting the distinct impression that he was being assessed for…something.
“I don’t have to—” he started.
“If it’s just today, it’s fine,” Corporal Levi said. “But since we know the key behind your transformation now, I think I can talk to the Commander about moving you permanently out of the dungeon.”
“Wait, really?” Eren asked, a little more excited than he would have liked.
“You’ll still have a guard at the door, though,” Corporal Levi pointed out. “Anyway, I’ll talk to him. The rest of you, stop fooling around and do whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.”
He turned and strode out of the room.
“Well, that was nice of him,” Petra said. “I wonder if that’s his version of a birthday present?”
“Now that that’s all sorted out, Eren, you can do whatever you want today,” Erd said. “You’ve got a free pass to go to town—” He hesitated. “Actually, you may still need someone to accompany you. But you can ask one of us—”
Eren, who was feeling a bit overwhelmed and who didn’t want to trouble the squad more than he already had, interrupted, “Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll just…go to my room, I guess.”
The squad members glanced at each other, shrugged, and let him go.
Eren wandered down the castle halls and picked an empty bedroom at random. It was spotless, of course, because the Corporal had had them clean the entire castle, including the unused rooms. And it was empty, aside from the bed, neatly made, and a desk with nothing on it.
He didn’t really own anything of his own. He had some belongings in the dungeon, meaning he had extra clothes, but that was it. Well, he’d get them later. He didn’t even know yet if he could keep this room, after all.
At a loss for what to do, Eren went to lie on the bed. It was, if nothing else, more comfortable than the one in the dungeon, and he fell asleep without realizing it.
When he woke up, it was late afternoon. Eren was disoriented for a minute, wondering where he was and why it was so sunny outside—and why he could see sunlight at all—but then he remembered.
Levi’s squad was celebrating his birthday. Insofar as leaving Eren alone for the day could be considered ‘celebrating,’ anyway.
He felt like he shouldn’t be complaining about the free day, but he also didn’t know what to do with himself, so he decided to just find Mikasa and Armin. They were training with their 3DMG. In the end, he joined them, because like hell he was just going to sit around and do nothing all day. There was no time to be wasting, belated birthday celebration or no.
In fact, he had almost forgotten about the whole ordeal by the time night fell and he went to the dining room for dinner, and was only reminded when he walked into the room and everyone yelled, “Happy Birthday!” causing Eren to jump.
There was a huge cake in the middle of the table. Eren boggled at it; how much had that cost? Even if they’d all chipped in for it, it must have been expensive. And they’d gotten it for him?
Tears formed in his eyes, unbidden, and god, it was really embarrassing, but—
“He wasn’t supposed to start crying,” Corporal Levi said, and Erd asked, “Eren? Is something wrong?”
“No, I just—I’ve never gotten a cake before,” Eren said, wiping his eyes. “Sorry, this is really stupid—”
“Damn right it is, it’s just a cake,” the Corporal muttered, looking as if he would rather be anywhere but here, and Eren wondered why he wasn’t.
He just—he didn’t understand. Why were they doing all this for him? Why did they care?
Something must have shown on Eren’s face as he bit his trembling lip, trying to stop the tears from falling, because Petra seemed to pick up on some of what he was thinking, and she said, “Listen, Eren, we’re really sorry for treating you like that on your birthday—treating you like that at all. We want you to be able to trust us. We want you to feel included. The cake is the least we could do.”
“That’s—sorry, I’m just—that’s really nice of you,” Eren stammered, still trying vainly to stave off his tears because what a stupid reason to cry. But none of his squad mates had ever cared to find out his birthday in the past, and even though Mikasa and Armin knew, it wasn’t like they ever did anything. And, yeah, maybe it was Eren’s own fault for telling them that he didn’t care, that he didn’t want to do anything, but he just hadn’t wanted to sound needy—even he wanted to be coddled and cared for sometimes, okay. At least for, like, a day, because he didn’t think he could put up with that for very long, but still.
And so there was Eren, standing there in the dining room, getting all wet-eyed over cake. Expensive cake, but still cake.
The squad looked at one another and then, in that weirdly in-sync way of theirs, they surrounded him, and Eren found himself in the middle of a smothering group hug.
It was weird. But…not bad, Eren admitted to himself as the warm bodies pressed closer, and he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, allowing himself to relax.
The hug lasted until Corporal Levi cleared his throat and made a remark about the food getting cold; despite Petra’s urging, the Corporal refused to join in the group hug, but he did ruffle Eren’s hair when he finally sat down to eat, and Eren couldn’t deny leaning into the touch a little.
Dinner was good, somehow made better by the fact that the others made an effort to engage and include him in conversation. The cake was the best thing Eren had ever tasted; he devoured three slices and mourned the fact that he couldn’t eat it on a daily basis (“Oh no,” Corporal Levi commented, “now we’ve really created a monster out of him.”). And maybe it was just his imagination, but that night, the room seemed a little bit brighter, and a little bit warmer.