Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Isumi-san,” Minami greeted as soon as he opened the door. The youngest member of his group stood there, pale face as he stared at Minami. “I was surprised when you called me to say you're coming over. I thought you said you wanted to practice a bit more before going home.”

“I… wasn't feeling well.” Haruka replied, looking away. 

Minami arched an eyebrow at this but didn't say anything else. He opened up the door and let Haruka in. The younger idol went ahead and took a seat on Minami's living room floor, overlooking his balcony. 

It was not unusual for Haruka to run to Minami whenever he had a particularly difficult day. They were closer in age which made it possible for Haruka to confide in him. Touma was a bit of an airhead and Torao could be difficult to communicate with sometimes. Haruka preferred to talk things through with Minami, who could provide carefully chosen words of advice. 

Seeing that Haruka had run over here out of nowhere, it must be one of those days. 

Minami walked over to his open space kitchen, putting on the kettle to prepare tea for the two of them. Haruka hasn't said anything yet but it will come with time. They were not blocked by anything so Minami could clearly hear Haruka if he said anything. 

The water came to a boil. Minami turned off the kettle and took out his teapot. He placed a tea bag inside before pouring the hot water and adding the sugar later. 

"Minami," Haruka called out to the older male. The sound of a spoon clashing against the ceramic teapot was the only thing that could be heard. "You've found your soulmate, haven't you?"

Minami paused. His eyes flickered over to where Haruka was sitting, back against him. The younger male did not make a move to look back. He continued preparing their drinks. 

"And why would you say that, Isumi-san?"

"It's Torao, isn't it?”

The sound of the spoon clashing against the teapot stopped. Minami stared at the brown liquid. If he looked closer, he could see a reflection of his face. He closed the teapot, taking out two mugs before bringing out everything on a tray. He placed the tray on his coffee table, carefully pouring the tea and handing one over at Haruka. 

The younger male glanced at it before looking at Minami. “Are you not going to ask me how I know?” 

Minami sat cross legged on his floor. The white dahlia on his ankle sings a little but Minami ignored it in favor of sipping his tea. 

“Is that why you came here?” Minami asked once he put down his mug. 

Haruka looked away. His tea remained untouched. 

"I know who my soulmate is." Haruka said, voice quiet. Minami stared at him from under his bangs, the younger male lowered his head. "I've... actually known it for quite some time now..."

"And that is?" Minami asked. 

"Tenn. It's Kujou Tenn." Haruka said with a sigh. "When- Before ŹOOĻ debuted, I met him in front of Kujou's house. I found out then."

"Did he know?"

Haruka shook his head. 

Minami blinked at him. "Does he know now?"

Haruka nodded his head slowly. 

"You told him?"

"No... He found out."

Minami hummed quietly. "And what was his reaction?"

Haruka remained silent. He looked down, fidgeting with his fingers. Minami eyed him carefully as he sipped on his tea. 

Kujou Tenn could be blunt and standoffish but it wasn't like he was necessarily evil. There were times when he came off as mean though it didn't seem like there were any strong, negative feelings. The man looked like he preferred to keep a distance, is all. 

Minami didn't think he would hate Haruka either. In fact, he might be happier to know that Haruka was his soulmate, based on Minami's observation. 

Or perhaps he was wrong?

"He has hanahaki."

"Oh.”

Minami placed his mug back on the table. Haruka looked down as he fidgeted with his fingers. 

“Do you know if hanahaki can be cured?” Haruka asked. 

“Why would you want to know?” Minami asked, an eyebrow raised. “I thought you didn’t care about your soulmate?” 

“I said I didn’t care; doesn't mean I want him dead!” Haruka exclaimed, pupils shaking. 

Minami took a deep breath. “I told you, Isumi-san. Be careful what you wish for.” 

“I know, I know! But when I said I never wanted to meet my soulmate I didn’t have this in mind. I just don’t want him to be disappointed when he finds out that it’s me.” Haruka said. Tears welled up in his eyes. “I don’t want him dead. I just wanted us to live our life separately without this whole soulmate thing! I didn’t- I wasn’t expecting him to contract hanahaki.” 

Minami sighed. “When you start rejecting your soulmate, that is probably when the hanahaki disease manifests itself. Regardless of what you actually meant, when you say you refuse to meet your soulmate, that is already a form of rejection.” 

Haruka choked back a sob. “What do I do?” 

“You have to talk to him.” 

“And tell him what? That I can’t accept him as my soulmate? That I will just worsen his condition?” 

“Isumi-san, why can’t you accept Kujou-san as your soulmate?” 

“He hates me, Minami.” 

Minami frowned. “Why would you say that?” 

Haruka looked at him, eyes filled with unshed tears. “Look at what we’ve done. Look at how Tenn and I are binded together. There is no way. We are not meant for each other, fate is wrong. We will only hurt each other. I’m already hurting him.” 

Minami looked at him. The desperate and lost look in Haruka’s eyes was pitiful to look at. A reflection of something that Minami himself would rather not explore. He inhaled deeply before letting out a long exhale. 

“The only other way to cure hanahaki is by surgery.” 

“Surgery?” 

“Surgical removal of the plant in their lungs. By doing so, the plant will stop growing and he will no longer be infected with hanahaki.” Minami said, looking at Haruka straight in the eye. “However, to completely ensure that they will not contract hanahaki again, the soul mark must be removed. And with it, any feelings or connection they have with their soulmate.” 

Haruka blinked. “So… I will no longer be his soulmate?” 

Minami nodded his head. 

Haruka eyebrows furrowed as he was deep in thought. “And that is the only way?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then, I’ll tell Tenn to do that surgery.” 

“Are you sure?” Minami asked worriedly. “Your soul bond will be removed too. You will no longer have a soulmate. At all.” 

“That is fine by me.” Haruka stated resolutely. “As long as Tenn would be cured.”  

“Isumi-san, this is more than just Kujou-san being cured. Once a soul mark is removed, a soul bond is broken. There will be no replacements as a soul bond is unique to each soulmate. If Kujou-san goes through this surgery not only will you not be his soulmate but he will never have one. And so do you.” 

“I don’t mind.” Haruka said, unwavering. “I never wanted one in the first place. If it means that Tenn will not get someone like me as a soulmate, wouldn’t that be a good thing too?” 

The determined look on Haruka’s eyes was hard to retort. The younger one seemed dead set on his decision. No matter what Minami said, it seemed like he wouldn’t budge at all. 

Minami sighed. “If you will be able to convince him to do the surgery.” 

“Of course I can.” Haruka said, staring out Minami’s balcony. “He cares more about his career than a silly soulmate. He will do anything to cure himself and perform again.” 

“Thank you for meeting up with me.” Haruka said as Tenn took a seat in front of him. 

The booth they were sitting at was at the back of the café, secluded. No one would be able to notice the two idols unless they took a closer look. 

They hadn’t seen each other in a week since the incident. The joint live practices had dwindled down a little to make way for each group’s own schedule. Truth be told, Haruka didn’t even think Tenn would agree on meeting up with him today. He almost forgot that he even had Tenn’s contact in the first place. Retrieved some time between the joint live practices and miscellaneous schedules. 

It reminded him, despite Haruka’s reluctance, that he and Tenn had gotten slightly closer in the past few months. It was a weird feeling; the same person he had sworn to bring down; he had apologized to; was someone that he managed to talk to amicably. And is also his soulmate. 

The last one makes Haruka feel like throwing up a little. 

“It’s not a problem. I didn’t have anything else going on for me today.” Tenn said, smiling softly. 

The churning in his stomach had Haruka briefly wonder if hanahaki was contagious. 

They ordered drinks for themselves because Haruka would do anything to prolong this conversation. He knew that he needed to do this but it hasn’t fully registered that he must face this head on. 

“So, what is it that you would like to talk about?” Tenn asked once their drinks arrived and Haruka had nowhere else to run. 

Haruka smacked his lips, once, twice. 

“Does anyone else know about it?” He asked. He doesn’t say the word, afraid to voice it out. 

“Other than my doctor, no.” Tenn answered nonchalantly. 

Haruka frowned. “And you just plan to keep it that way?” 

Tenn shrugged his shoulders. “Until it gets exposed but eventually, yeah. I don’t think much can be done if more people know.” 

The nonchalant attitude from Tenn was almost unbecoming of him. As if he didn’t care at all that this disease would potentially kill him. It was unlike Tenn at all, who Haruka had always seen as someone levelheaded. But then again, they weren’t close enough for Haruka to know what Tenn was like. 

“I did some research on my own about it.” Haruka said, receiving a quiet hum from Tenn. "You should do it. The surgery. Get it removed so you can feel better."

"And who are you to decide that for me?” Tenn asked, voice so cold it almost pierced Haruka. 

He looked at the older idol, who levelled his stare with a sharp gaze. Tenn looked annoyed, pissed, almost, which Haruka didn’t exactly get. He was telling this for Tenn’s benefit. Surely, even Tenn himself knew about the surgery and its benefits to his disease considering that he had seen a doctor. 

“This isn’t a regular cough. It’s life-threatening. The surgery can cure you almost immediately which is why you should go for it.” 

“And again, I’m asking you, who are you to decide for me?” Tenn asked. “Who are you to tell me to take up that surgery?” 

“Well, that’s because..!” Haruka stopped himself. Because what? Because he was his soulmate? Because Tenn should not suffer from Haruka? Because Haruka cared enough to not want Tenn to die but not enough to accept that they were soulmates? 

“Kujou-san, you know the risk of this disease, don’t you? If you have this surgery you won’t need to suffer anymore.” Haruka reasoned. 

“You don’t know what I’ve been through, Isumi Haruka, to assume what I’m feeling.” Tenn stated. “This disease doesn’t concern you.” 

But of course it does, Haruka thought. He was the cause of the disease in the first place. He needed to fix this and the only way to fix it is if Tenn went for surgery. 

“But-” 

“I do not wish to discuss this with you if this is your conclusion.” Tenn said, standing up. “What I do with my life, what my choices are, could not be decided by anyone else but myself. And so, I would not let you decide what I would do with this.” 

“So you would just willingly let yourself be killed!?” Haruka exclaimed.  

Tenn stared at him. His piercing gaze left little to no explanation for Haruka on what he was thinking. The older idol merely shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don’t plan to die, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve climbed my way up from hell before, this is not a challenge.” Tenn said before placing a few bills on the table and leaving. 

But this is not the same, Haruka wanted to shout out. This was life or death. 

How the hell was Tenn going to push through hanahaki and live if Haruka was his soulmate? 

Haruka had never dreaded a schedule so much until today. 

It was a few days after that meeting of his with Tenn. They hadn’t talked anymore after that and it seemed like they still wouldn’t be talking after all. 

Haruka’s eyes flickered every time he heard a cough from somewhere in the room. It always meets garnet eyes, returning the gaze briefly before looking away. He didn’t seem like he was suffering but Haruka couldn’t know for sure. Tenn managed to hide it for three months without anyone knowing, so Haruka couldn’t really gauge the severity of his disease at all. 

In hindsight, Haruka guessed he should have figured it out sooner. The pale complexion, the constant tiredness and the occasional cough was a dead giveaway. If they hadn’t touched hands the other day, Haruka wondered if he would ever find out. 

“Oh? You’re still here, Haruka?”

Haruka looked up as he drank his water. Torao was staring at him with a curious look. 

“What do you mean?” Haruka asked the older male. 

“Well, whenever we have a break, you always run off to sit with Kujou. I didn’t expect you to still hang around here.” Torao pointed out. 

“I don’t always sit with him.” Haruka said defensively. 

“Really? Since the practices have been frequent lately, I thought you had become friends with him.” 

“Kujou Tenn and I are not friends.” Haruka said in a deadpan tone. 

Because they were not friends. They were worse than that. 

“It’s okay to admit you have friends, Haru.” Touma said, as some sort of reassuring statement that was suppose to make Haruka feel better. It did not. 

Tenn was sitting at the other side of the room, talking about something with Ryuu. Their eyes met briefly before Tenn quickly looked away, ignoring him. Haruka gritted his teeth. 

“I can never be friends with him.” 

“Isumi-san.” Haruka blinked, snapping out of his daze. Minami looked at him, a serious expression that does not match his gentle features. “Can you accompany me to the convenience store? There is something I would like to get.” 

“What do you want, Minami? I can go instead.” Torao offered. 

Minami smiled at him. “No, it’s okay. I want to take a walk and get some fresh air. Isumi-san also recommended a new snack but I can’t remember the name. I thought we should go get it together.” 

Haruka knew that was a lie. But looking at Minami, he knew that he didn’t have a say in this. Reluctantly, he stood up. Torao and Touma had waved them off, telling them to watch the time and not be late when practice starts again. 

They quietly made their way to the convenience store downstairs where Haruka was sure several other idols were lurking about. They walked around the store, picking up snacks and drinks that they would share with the members and maybe everyone else back in the room. 

“Did you manage to talk to him?” Minami asked, looking over the different flavors of potato chips. 

“I did.” Haruka answered. “He doesn’t want to do it.” 

“The surgery?” Minami asked, surprised. “What did he say?” 

“He told me I basically have no rights to decide for him on what he should do.” 

Minami stared at him. He placed the limited edition flavor potato chips in the basket Haruka was holding. “Somehow it does sound like something he would say.” 

“Minami, what do I do?” Haruka asked exasperatedly. “I can’t let him die!” 

“If he refuses to do the surgery, then there is nothing else you can do, Isumi-san.” Minami said. His eyes flickered briefly at the younger idol. “Unless you finally accept that he’s your soulmate.” 

“Is it really that easy?” Haruka sighed out. 

“Soul marks, soul bonds, soulmates, they are as fickle as they are constant. You have to accept each other as soulmates or suffer the consequences of rejection.” 

“But why must he suffer? Why won’t I suffer instead? I’m the one who refuses to accept my fate. Why must Kujou Tenn go through so much and potentially die over my denial?” 

Minami looked at him with a pitiful smile. “I can’t answer that for you, Isumi-san. I’m afraid it is just the way it works.” 

“That’s unfair,” Haruka spat out, hand gripping tightly onto the handle of the shopping basket. “This is why I hate fate.” 

Haruka stared down at the bouquet of flowers on his left palm. 

A curse, he reminded himself. 

Maybe in a far away past the delphinium has provided a comfort, a solace for him. He would look at it and wonder of a dreamy future of meeting his soulmate. Of a life that was filled with love and hope. 

But in this moment, every time he looked at the soul mark, all he could feel was dread and despair. 

“Haru-chan,” Haruka eyes flickered over at his grandmother at the call of his name. “You’ve been quiet. Is something wrong?” 

“It’s nothing.” Haruka replied as he adjusted himself in his seat. His eyes fall onto the orange blossoms on his grandmother’s forearm, one of the flowers wilted and permanently stamped there. 

“Grandma, what do you think of soulmates?” 

“Hm? That’s an odd question.” She said, looking over at him. Her fingers absentmindedly traced the flowers on her forearm. “I don’t have much to say about it. I met my soulmate, I then lost them. But in the moments where we were together, I had the joyous time of my life.” 

“Were you in love with grandpa the moment you met him?” Haruka asked. 

His grandmother chuckled. “No. In fact, your grandpa and I were at odds with each other when we first met. Your grandfather was this loud, obnoxious fella, I didn’t think he was ever fated for me. But things worked out and we ended up marrying and having your father.” 

Haruka hummed quietly as he listened. 

“Ah, but your parents immediately fell in love with each other.” 

Haruka looked at her. “They did?” 

“Your father had always waited for his soulmate. The moment he met your mother he wanted to marry her immediately. I was of course opposed to that at first. I was afraid they were rushing it too quickly without properly getting to know each other. But my worries were pretty much useless. They loved each other and had you. It was a peaceful and blessed life. I just didn’t expect them to go so soon.” 

Haruka looked away, picking at the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“Grandma, what if my soulmate hates me?” He asked. 

“I don’t think anyone can ever hate you Haru-chan. And it is quite impossible to hate your own soulmate. Being at odds and reluctant around each other may be more common. I wasn’t fond of your grandfather but I never hated him.” She answered.

“And what if I hate my soulmate?” 

She smiled softly. “It is normal to feel wary when a stranger shows up in your life and is told they are meant for you. But you always meet people for a reason, soulmate or not. Maybe your opinions of them will change once you get to know them.” 

“My opinion of them has changed…” Haruka said quietly. “But I don’t think their opinions of me changed at all.” 

“You won’t know until you ask, you know?” 

Haruka scratched at his soul mark. “I don’t think I want to know.” 

Logically speaking, Haruka didn’t want to get more involved than he already was. But he was the root cause after all. So he was already involved more than he would like to be.

Doing research was just another way to help Tenn. He couldn’t accept him as his soulmate, but he also couldn’t let him die. Haruka wasn’t that cruel. 

“Hey, Izumi.” Haruka called out to his classmate. It was one of those rare quiet lunch breaks that they had in school, Tamaki away for a schedule. “You’re smart, right. What do you know about hanahaki?” 

Iori’s sharp eyes gazed at him curiously. Haruka flinched.

“It’s not me!” Haruka explained quickly. “It’s… a friend I know.” 

Iori’s gaze fell onto Tamaki’s empty desk. 

“It’s not Yotsuba.” 

His gaze returned to Haruka, an eyebrow arched. 

Haruka sighed. “It’s not my members either. Stop assuming that those are my only friends. I know other people too! It’s someone I know back in America.” 

Iori’s eyebrow raised higher, eyes flickering back onto Tamaki’s desk briefly. 

“It’s not Acchan either! Geez!” Haruka huffed out. “I told you, I have other friends too! And it’s not like you know every one of them. This is why I hate talking to you sometimes.” 

“Well, I’m sorry. You’ve never really given the impression of having other friends.” Iori stated. “And you’re talking about a topic so heavy and sensitive. I just had to make sure.” 

“No. It’s no one you know. No one important.” Haruka lied. “I just wanna know how to help them.” 

“Help them?” Iori asked. “Why do you want to help them? You know that the root cause of hanahaki is the soulmate’s rejection, right?” 

Haruka bit his tongue. “I know that. I just- I’m not close to this friend so I don’t know much about him personally or his soulmate but I don’t want to see him suffer. I don’t want him to die, essentially.” 

“He wouldn’t die if he has it surgically removed.” 

“He doesn’t want to.” Haruka said, fidgeting with his fingers. “He said the choice is his to make and he refuses surgery.” 

“Well, that’s foolish.” Iori scoffed. “To sacrifice yourself over someone who doesn’t care about you. Why would you let yourself suffer like that?” 

Haruka tensed slightly. 

Iori sighed, shaking his head. “But I guess that is romantic in its own way. I wouldn’t recommend self sacrificing but I can see where they are coming from.” 

Haruka frowned. “Why do you think so?” 

“Because you already don’t have a choice or say in who your soulmate is. It is rather cruel to put yourself in a spot like that. So, getting to decide whether to live or die is as good as a choice you get to make to defy fate.” 

Haruka gave it a thought. So Tenn would rather die knowing Haruka would never accept him as a soulmate rather than live his life without Haruka as his soulmate? That’s stupid. 

“That’s stupid.” Haruka blurted out. 

Iori’s eyes flickered over to him. “That’s what I said. I can’t say I agree with self sacrificing, but I guess I can understand the sentiment.” 

“Would you do that? If your soulmate hates you and you end up contracting hanahaki?” 

“No,” Iori scoffed. Then, he paused as if thinking. “Well, maybe I will actually. But throwing away a life for one person… I would think it over. If they mean that much to me then I think I would do so.” 

“Even if you think it’s foolish?” Haruka questioned. 

“Yes… Because removing hanahaki means removing your soul bond. That itself is as painful as death, especially if your soulmate means something to you. Either choice wouldn’t bring a happy end, no matter how you look at it.” 

“You surprisingly thought a lot about this.” 

“Not everything is a fairy tale. So I’ve thought about the possibility of getting rejected by my soulmate.” 

Haruka made a face. “That is something rather depressing to think about.” 

Iori arched an eyebrow at him. “Don’t you ever think about it, Isumi-san?” 

He has. He had thought about it ever since Kujou Takamasa left him years ago. He thought about what he would do if his soulmate rejected him the same way Takamasa did. If he would still hold on when his fated person left him. 

And then a few years later, he found out who that fated person is. Even though he was so adamant on bringing Kujou Tenn down, he never thought about them being soulmates. He had merely cursed his life for its every demise. After all, Haruka just wanted to ruin Tenn’s career, he had no plans on being a murderer. 

When they had apologised and closed that part of their life, Haruka had thought he would be the one contracting hanahaki, not the other way around. Looking back at it now, he wondered what had gone wrong. 

Perhaps ever since that day he accepted to go to America with Takamasa. 

“Do you still want to help your friend?” Iori asked, snapping Haruka out of his thoughts. 

“Well, I probably can’t stop his potential death, but I wanna know how I can help him slow down the process or make it less painful.” Haruka stated. 

Iori nodded his head. “The easiest way is to be prescribed with medicine but I think your friend might already be on that. Water makes the flowers grow faster but hot or warm drinks slow down the process. Soft foods are easier on the throat when their coughs flare up. They might need to consume higher iron-level meals to cope with the blood loss.” 

Haruka blinked at him. “You… sure know a lot.” 

“I told you, I had thought about it.”

“Do you still think about it?” Haruka asked, curious. 

“No,” Iori answered, a small smile grazing his lips as his hand reached out to rub at his neck. “I don’t worry about it anymore.”  

Haruka thought it would be difficult to reach out to Tenn, knowing that the last time they met had gone by unpleasantly. But he didn’t have to ponder about it for too long when his next schedule coincided with Tenn’s. 

They were to guest on a show together as part of the promotion for the joint concert. As the two centers of different groups and being put into the same shuffle unit, it was no surprise that Haruka would continue to work closely with Tenn. 

“Good morning,” Tenn greeted when he entered their shared waiting room. 

“Morning…” Haruka replied quietly, eyes trailing over the older idol. 

Tenn had placed his bag down before settling on the sofa. He seemed to take in deep breaths, almost heaving. Haruka wondered if he had been throwing up earlier. He knew that the disease flared up whenever the person was near his soulmate based on his research. So surely today would be taking a toll on Tenn’s body. How was it that Tenn managed to hide his hanahaki for months was beyond Haruka. 

Both their managers weren’t in the room, making the atmosphere around them a little more awkward. Tenn didn’t look like he wanted to talk, eyes shut as he rested on the sofa. Haruka reluctantly took out the thermos in his bag. 

Inside the thermos was a special blend of lemon ginger tea that Haruka had learned from his grandma. He usually drinks it whenever he has a sore throat or if the day is too cold. With small steps, Haruka approached Tenn. 

“Kujou Tenn,” Haruka called out quietly. 

The older idol slowly opened his eyes. “What is it?” 

“Here,” Haruka said, handing over the thermos. “It’s lemon ginger tea. I thought you might want it.” 

Tenn stared at the thermos. “Why?” 

“It’s good for your throat. It’s a special blend made by my grandma.” Haruka said. “And… I thought it might help with relieving you from… that.” 

Tenn blinked. He let out a quiet sigh. “Why are you even doing this? No matter what, I still won’t be convinced to do the surgery.” 

“It’s because you don’t want to do the surgery that I’m doing this.” Haruka hissed, clenching his fist. “I feel responsible for what you’re going through. This is the only way I can help.” 

“Only way?” Tenn asked, an eyebrow arched. “You refuse to acknowledge me as your soulmate at all?” 

Haruka gritted his teeth. He couldn’t answer that. Fate was cruel to Haruka but more cruel towards Tenn. To pair him up with someone he despises, with someone that ruined him. No one would be happy in that situation. 

Seeing that Haruka wouldn’t answer, Tenn sighed again. “I’ll take it. Though I still won’t consider surgery.” 

“I don’t understand you at all.” Haruka said, looking at him. “Would you rather die because of me than live without a soulmate? Is this punishment for what I did?” 

“It’s not because of you. I told you, it is my choice.”

“And you have the choice to live!” 

“Who says I’m dying?” 

“The disease is killing you.” Haruka said, exasperatedly. “Hanahaki is deadly.” 

“I won’t let it kill me. I’m not that easy to kill.” Tenn shrugged off. 

“You are so full of yourself.” 

Tenn merely smiled at him. “I wouldn’t have make it this far otherwise.” 

Haruka looked at him in disbelief. He knew that his words wouldn’t change Tenn’s mind. Even though they were not close, he knew that Tenn was stupidly stubborn and would stand his ground. Plus, Haruka was nobody to him, so why would Tenn listen to him anyways? It was all a futile attempt but Haruka would like to try, even if it won’t work. 

There was a knock on the door to their waiting room. “Kujou-san, Isumi-san, recording will start soon.” 

“Yes, we’ll be there.” Tenn said, standing up. He smiled at Haruka while gesturing to the thermos he still held. “I’ll enjoy it.” 

Haruka wasn’t one to usually mind his diet plan. Of course, as an idol, he needed to watch his eating habits. Nothing too excessive that will ruin his body, vocals or cause trouble during work. But ŹOOĻ’s image never needed him to take particular care about his food intakes. 

Torao diet sometimes for special occasions, he goes to the gym because he likes keeping in shape – sometimes to help impress the ladies. Minami can eat a whole cow and wouldn’t gain a single kilo while Touma just eats whatever he wants. As a result, the ŹOOĻ’s waiting room never lack snacks and they were never picky about what the caterer serves. 

“Haru, we’re going to get food from the pantry. Want us to get you something?” Touma asked as they stood up to leave the practice room. 

“It’s fine. I brought my own bento today.” Haruka said, shrugging them off. 

“Eh? What? Really? Did you not eat lunch at school earlier?” Touma asked. 

“No. I just brought extras.” Haruka replied. 

Torao’s eyes glanced over to the thermal bag Haruka brought with him, another bento box inside it. “Did you bring extra for us too?” 

Haruka blinked before tugging the bag closer to him. “No… It’s, um, for someone else.” 

Torao arched an eyebrow at him. “Did you reconcile with him?” 

Haruka looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Well, Isumi-san has friends other than us, you know? Let’s just leave it at that and have lunch together. I’m starving.” Minami said, averting the conversation. Touma and Torao gave him another glance before leaving together with Minami. 

Haruka didn’t always appreciate Minami’s nosiness, but sometimes he came in handy. 

“Haruka.” He turned around at the call of his name, seeing Tenn standing behind him. “Let’s have lunch?” 

Haruka let out a quiet sigh. “Sure.” 

“Everyone is either at the pantry or convenience store. Should we go somewhere else for lunch?” Tenn asked. 

“Isn’t here fine?” Haruka said. 

“I kind of want a change of air. Sitting in this practice room feels somewhat suffocating.” Tenn said. “I know there’s an empty studio we can use or if you want, the rooftop should be good too.” 

“Anywhere is fine. Your call.” 

“Then, let’s head to the studio. I don’t think being out in this weather will be good for me.” 

Haruka nodded his head before standing up and following Tenn to the studio he talked about, thermal bag in hand. The studio had a table and a few chairs laid out. It looked like a small waiting room for people to rest or to have a solo practice without occupying the bigger practice rooms. 

They sat around the table and Haruka took out the bentos he had brought from home. 

“Oh, this looks good.” Tenn said, delighted when he saw the contents of the bento. “Did you make this too?” 

“Just the side dishes. Grandma made the rest.” Haruka answered. 

They gave a silent prayer before quietly digging into the bentos. It has become a routine now, somehow. Whenever they have a matching schedule, Haruka would always bring a bento for Tenn. At first, it was just Haruka handing it over to him in between shoots at the studio or during the joint practice. But lately, he had also been joining Tenn to have lunch together. 

“Why do you insist on having lunch together?” Haruka asked in between bites. 

“Hm? It felt weird to just be receiving food from you.” Tenn said, glancing over at him. “Also, it feels like I’m bullying you, somehow.” 

“It’s not like you force me to make you lunch.” Haruka said, huffing. 

“Well, of course not. But you keep insisting on taking responsibility so I’ll let you have that. So let’s say that our lunch together is just another way of you having to ‘take responsibility’.” 

“In no way this is helping your hanahaki.” 

“I don’t know, I think it helps.” Tenn said, grinning at him. “Don’t you think my cough has lessened? Are you finally acknowledging me?” 

Haruka eyed him carefully. “I can’t tell. You’re too great of an actor. You’ve kept it hidden for almost half a year.” 

“Fufu, is that a praise?” 

Haruka looked down at his food, pushing away the contents with his chopsticks. “I can’t acknowledge you as a soulmate, but I at least acknowledge you as a great artist.” 

Tenn huffed quietly, shaking his head. “Well, that’s a good start at least.” 

Haruka fiddled with his rings in his pocket. He watched as swarms of people passed by, merging into the crowded street. The sun was more forgiving this time of the year, less hot but still warm enough to have him regret being out here. 

He glanced at his phone, a few minutes past ten. Well, it wasn’t like Haruka wanted to be out today. 

“Are you free this week?” Tenn had asked him after one of their lunches. The joint live would be in a month from now and they still saw each other more than Haruka would like. 

“I have a day off this Saturday.” Haruka had answered. 

“Perfect. I’ll see you at the station near Zero Arena.” Tenn had told him, leaving Haruka no room to protest. 

And so now he found himself waiting at the meeting place for Tenn. He watched as another flock of people walked past before there was a tap on his shoulders. 

“Did you wait long?” Tenn asked when Haruka turned to look. The older idol was wearing a hat and glasses, face hidden behind a white mask. But even with his disguise, he could easily stand out against the crowd. 

“No. I just got here a few minutes ago.” Haruka said, pulling his mask further up. He really couldn’t stand it if a fan recognized them. “Where are we going?” 

Tenn’s eyes scrunched up slightly in a smile. “You’ll see.” 

He grabbed Haruka’s wrist before pulling him away from the station. The younger idol was startled but kept quiet to prevent attention on them. He looked down, recognizing that the hand that held his wrist was the hand with the soul mark. Quietly, Haruka glanced at Tenn, wondering if his hanahaki had flared up but surprisingly there was no change. 

“An amusement park?” Haruka asked when they arrived at their destination and Tenn handed him the entrance ticket. 

“Yup. I always come here during my off days. It’s fun. I even have a seasonal pass.” Tenn said, showing off the said seasonal pass with pride. 

“Why are you bringing me to an amusement park?” 

Tenn shrugged his shoulders. “I thought it would be fun once in a while. I always come here alone so I thought it would be nice to have someone tagging along too.” 

“You literally could have asked anyone else.” 

“No one will come along if I ask.” 

“And you think I would just agree to this?” 

Tenn arched an eyebrow at him. “Didn’t you say you feel responsible for me?” 

“Urk..!” 

“Or… was that a lie? I want to have fun today on my day off so I thought I could come here alone but, ah, what if my hanahaki flares up and I start coughing terribly? Oh, what if they find out it’s me in the middle of throwing up bloody flowers?” 

Haruka clicked his tongue as he snatched the entrance ticket from Tenn’s hand. “Fine! I’ll come with you.” 

Tenn grinned. “Good. Come on, the roller coaster should be free right now.” 

“That’s what you’re riding on first?” 

“What? You’re scared?” 

“No,” Haruka huffed. “I’ll let you know I’m not scared of anything in this place!” 

Tenn hummed. “Then I guess we’ll have tons of fun.” 

Haruka should have known better than simply agreeing to get on the rides with Tenn. He had always thought the other male to be more reserved and proper. Probably not much on adrenaline rushes or intense activities. But after the third roller coaster, he probably should have known better.

“Can we…” Haruka gasped out once they left the last ride. “Can we take a break..?” 

“Oh! Sorry. I forgot I’m here with someone. I usually ride all these alone.” Tenn said, turning back to look at Haruka who was as white as paper. He carefully guided them to a bench and they sat down quietly. Tenn excused himself to get them drinks as Haruka cooled down. 

“Here,” Tenn said, handing him a bottle of water.

“Thanks.” Haruka said, gulping it down. “I never knew you were into roller coasters.” 

“I like thrill rides. They give off almost the same feeling as being on stage.” Tenn said. He let out a small cough, clearing his throat before taking a sip of his drink. 

Haruka eyed him carefully. “Does it hurt?” 

“Hm? Well, at times it does. Usually it depends on the day and weather.” Tenn said. 

“Shouldn’t it… hurt if we’re closer?” 

Tenn blinked at him. He smiled, screwing back the cap of his water bottle. “It used to flare up a lot before our practice and then die down during it. That day when you find out was probably the worst it had been. But, well, there were worse days.” 

Haruka fiddled with the bottle in his hand. “It should be better if you get the surgery after all.” 

“I won’t.” Tenn said sternly. “Come on, let’s get something to eat. I’m getting hungry.” 

Without waiting for a reply, Tenn walked away to the food stalls. Haruka was about to stop him by calling out his name but knew better than to do so in this crowd. Instead, he obediently followed Tenn from the back. 

“Do you always come here?” Haruka asked as they enjoyed their lunch inside one of the specialty diners within the theme park. 

“Sometimes, on my day-offs. But often enough I guess.” Tenn answered. 

“You have a seasonal pass.” Haruka pointed out. 

“Yeah, it comes with its benefits.” Tenn said. 

“I never peg you for someone who enjoys theme parks.” 

“I like them. I feel like there’s something magical about it.” 

Haruka snorted. “What? That sounds ridiculous.” 

“Oh, come on. Don’t you find theme parks fun?” Tenn inquired, looking at him curiously. 

“The thrilling rides are fun, I guess. But I’m not obsessive enough to frequent this place.” 

Tenn jutted out his lips in a pout. Haruka stared at him. 

“I’m not obsessed with this place. I just think it’s a good way to de-stress.” 

“If you say so,” Haruka said, shrugging him off. 

A small family walked past their tables, happily chattering as they exited the place. Haruka briefly glanced at them, noting the matching character headbands each one of them wore. Seems like everyone who came here would buy something similar as memorabilia. 

“Want to get those?” Tenn asked. 

Haruka arched an eyebrow at him. “What?” 

“The headbands.” Tenn stated. “We can get matching ones.” 

“What are you? 10?” 

“If you haven’t noticed, even the adults here wear them.” 

“Well, I don’t want it.” Haruka huffed out. “And no way in hell do I want something that matches you.” 

“Too bad.” Tenn commented as he returned to his food. Their eyes didn’t meet as Tenn quietly added, “There’s already something that we have in match.” 

This is the most cliché ending to the day that Haruka could even think about. 

He looked out the window of their ferris wheel carriage, the patrons getting smaller the higher they got. Haruka shuffled in his seat. 

“Why a ferris wheel?” Haruka asked, glancing at Tenn. 

“You get a good view of everything from up here and I think it’s a great way to end the day.” 

Haruka’s eyes twitched. Even Tenn’s answer was so stupidly cliché. 

He sighed looking over at the older idol. Tenn was looking out the window, quietly staring at the view outside. He cleared his throat before taking out a piece of tissue and coughing into it. Pink and blue petals remained on the white tissue when Tenn pulled away. 

“Does it hurt?” 

Tenn looked up at him. Haruka noticed the smudge of red at the corner of Tenn’s lips. He bit his tongue. 

“Even if it hurts, what can you do if I tell you?” 

Haruka sighed, looking away. “Seriously. I don’t know why you want to torture yourself and make it more difficult when you can just remove it.” 

“It’s not as easy as you say, Isumi Haruka.” Tenn stated. “Removing the plant doesn’t mean that the disease won’t manifest itself again.” 

“I know.” Haruka said. Tenn stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. “You have to remove the soul mark too, right? So that it won’t happen again.” 

“What? You want me to remove my soul mark too?” 

Haruka turned to look at him. “Yes.” 

Tenn stared at him in disbelief. “Do you know what it means when I remove the soul mark?” 

“Of course I know. I wouldn’t have asked you to do so if I didn’t.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” Tenn asked. “You’re okay with not having a soulmate?” 

“If it means that we’re not tied together then yeah.” 

Tenn’s shoulders slumped down. He let out a quiet huff. The dejected look on his face had Haruka scratching the soul mark on his palm. Tenn let out several coughs, covering it up with his hand. A flutter of blue petals reached his seat. 

"Do you hate me, Haruka?" Tenn asked, looking at him with downturned eyes. "I thought that after what happened, we would move on from the past. I never knew your hate for me runs that deeply. You wouldn't even acknowledge me."

Haruka wouldn’t say that he hates Tenn. Sure, that bitter feeling of resentment had bubbled in him back then when he was seeking revenge over what Takamasa did to him. He wanted to bring Tenn down and nothing could stop him, not even when he knew Tenn was his soulmate. 

But slowly, that feeling had faded away and when they had talked it out, there were no longer any ill feelings towards Tenn. Except now, Haruka only resented himself. He knew that fate was cruel and that it was unfair for Tenn. 

He didn’t hate Tenn. He hates himself. Hated that he is the person fated for someone like Kujou Tenn, who was dazzling and kind and genuine. The exact opposite of Haruka, who was tattered, tainted and had nothing. He wasn’t meant for Tenn. They were two worlds apart.  

"You and I live in different worlds, Kujou Tenn." Haruka said, expressionless. "I am not meant for you."

Haruka was not meant for Tenn. 

He deserves someone better. 

“So please, save yourself and get that surgery.” Haruka said. “Because we can never be soulmates.” 

Tenn coughed heavily, burying himself into his pillow as he lay face flat on bed. The abundance of crumpled tissue papers scattered all around him. He couldn’t even bother to throw them away, body feeling heavy like lead. 

It has been a few days since Tenn felt this way. Despite trying his best to hold up at work, Tenn felt worse for wear once he came back. If he could, he would have taken a hiatus from work but Tenn was stubborn. He couldn’t let this disease win over so instead he kept pushing through yet it was slowly taking a toll over him. 

Briefly he wondered if he had finally reached a point of no return. 

There was a gentle knock on the door. 

“Tenn, are you okay?” Ryuu called out from the other side. “Gaku said you came home a few hours earlier and have been cooped up in your room since then. He said you look a little pale. I’ve made rice and pork bone soup. Would you like some? Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” 

“I’m fine…” Tenn wheezed out, raising his head slightly to get the words out clearer. 

“Are you going to eat? It’s been a while since we got to eat together.” Ryuu said gently. 

Truthfully, he didn’t want to get up. And he didn’t have much of an appetite either after throwing up so much. But the promise of a warm, home cooked meal managed to nudge at Tenn slightly. He slowly raised himself off the bed, wiping at his face. 

“I’ll eat.” Tenn said, clearing his throat. “I’ll come down in a moment.” 

The scent of a savoury and meaty soup made Tenn salvate. Ryuu had carefully plated everything on the dinner table, putting a lot of effort that made Tenn smile. 

“Thank you, Ryuu.” Tenn voiced out before they started digging in. 

Ryuu merely smiled at him. “No problem. I love cooking for you guys.” 

“You better eat a lot,” Gaku said. “Ryuu made this especially for you. And Anesagi said you didn’t eat much during lunch.” 

“Didn’t have an appetite.” Tenn answered before taking a sip of the soup. 

The warm broth flowed down his throat into his stomach, warming up his whole body. The flower seemed to calm down a little too and Tenn managed to finish his bowl before getting seconds. 

“It’s good that you’re still eating well.” Ryuu commented as he prepared tea for them after dinner while Gaku cleared out the dishes. Tenn still sat at the dinner table, overlooking the kitchen. “You do look really pale. Maybe even paler than the makeup we had on for that Halloween drama.” 

"That bad?” Tenn asked. 

“Worse, if you ask me.” Gaku said as he wiped the clean dishes. 

“I can still do the chores.” 

“It’s fine. I can wash the dishes too, you know.” 

“Yeah but Ryuu cooked and Gaku has been worried about me and now I have you guys washing dishes and making tea for me. Just doesn’t feel right.” 

“It’s okay to lean on us sometimes, Tenn.” Ryuu chided gently. 

“Yeah. And wasn’t it you that kept complaining that I was messy? This is the least I can do.” 

“It truly is the least you do.” Tenn said, earning him a glare from Gaku. 

He watched in silence as the both of them worked in tandem. The peacefulness of their current situation almost seemed like Tenn’s earlier situation was a fever dream. But the itch in his throat persisted and it would only be a matter of time before it showcased itself. 

Tenn took a deep breath. 

"My soulmate hates me." Tenn announced suddenly, gaining the attention of the other two in the room. Gaku and Ryuu turned to look at him. "I have hanahaki."

"What? Since when?" Gaku said, walking over to him. "You've met your soulmate?"

Tenn slowly nodded his head. 

"Who..?" Ryuu asked quietly. 

Tenn smacked his lips together. He pondered about lying but know that it wouldn't help his case at all. He sighed. "It's Isumi Haruka."

Both Gaku and Ryuu looked at him like they couldn’t believe it. But then a look of recognition passed by Ryuu’s face. He frowned. 

“Is that why..?” 

"I found out I have hanahaki before we started practicing for the joint concert. I found out who my soulmate is three months after that." Tenn said. “When I was hanging out with him during practice, I didn’t know it was him. We only found out later.” 

“And he knows you have hanahaki?” Gaku asked. 

Tenn nodded his head. 

“What did he say about it?” Ryuu asked, hesitant. 

Tenn looked away. “He told me to get surgery.” 

Gaku’s eyes narrowed at him. “And what did you say?” 

“I… don’t want to get that surgery.” Tenn said, quietly. “And I know it’s stupid. I know that hanahaki is deadly and I’m basically risking my life but I just can’t get myself to get that surgery. Maybe it’s blind hope but I want to believe that I can get rid of this hanahaki without surgery.” 

There was silence. Tenn looked down, unable to meet the eyes of his group members. He knew it sounded stupid and he was sure that he would never hear the end of it from them. But Tenn wanted to believe that he could overcome this, just like he has been overcoming everything else. 

Gaku sighed. “You’ve always liked sacrificing yourself, don’t you?” 

“I won’t do anything that will harm the group.” Tenn said. “If it gets worse, if he still hates me, I will get that surgery. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to change his mind afterall so what’s the point of risking everything I have worked for, right? But I really hope that I won't have to.” 

“This is a lot to take in.” Ryuu said, pursing his lips together. “But, you said Haruka-kun didn’t know that you were his soulmate until later, right? And you already had hanahaki by then.” 

Tenn nodded his head. 

"Wouldn't that be more of he hates the idea of soulmates rather than hating you?" Ryuu pointed out.

"After he found out, he still wouldn't acknowledge me as his soulmate. So I guess he does hate me after all."

"Do you hate him?"

"No."

"Have you ever told him that?" Ryuu asked, an eyebrow arched. 

"...No" Tenn answered with hesitation. "I don't think he would accept it. He hates me."

"Tenn, the cause of hanahaki can be a soulmate's rejection, but it can also be self-sabotaging.” Ryuu explained. “Hanahaki is complicated in many ways. You wouldn’t know for sure what is the root cause of it.” 

“I don’t think it will be easy to just tell him that. He has been trying to convince me to get the surgery ever since he found out.” 

“What did he say when he told you to get the surgery?” Gaku asked. 

“He said that we’re two worlds apart, that we’re not meant to be.” Tenn whispered quietly. 

There was another momentary silence. Ryuu pulled out a chair and sat beside Tenn. 

“This is… a delicate issue, actually.” Ryuu voiced out. “With what happened between ŹOOĻ and us, I understand Tenn’s hesitation and Haruka-kun’s hostility. But this involves not just your soul bonds, it involves your life, Tenn. What do you plan to do?” 

“I…” Tenn hesitated. “I want him to accept me as his soulmate. I don’t want to break this soul bond.” 

Ryuu nodded his head, smiling at him. “Then we’ll support your decision.” 

Tenn’s eyes widened. “You will?” 

“You’re not just fond of Isumi because he's your soulmate, aren’t you?” Gaku said, walking over. “You like him.” 

Tenn looked down, fiddling with his fingers. “It’s weird… I’ve never experienced this feeling. We got off on the wrong foot and there are so many barriers between us but I want to break them all. I want to be closer to him. I was so excited to find out we were soulmates, but dejected when I found out he didn’t accept me. Every time he tells me to get the surgery, it hurts me. I wish to ease his worries. I want him to trust me.” 

“I’m sure he will if you are truthful with him.” Ryuu said. 

“Are you sure? I still can’t shake off the feeling that he hates me.” Tenn sighed out. 

“If he hated you, he wouldn’t have asked you to live.” Gaku pointed out. “I think the both of you need to work on your communication skills.” 

Tenn snorted. “Rich coming from you.” 

“Hey!” 

“Now, now, let’s not fight.” Ryuu chimed in. He looked at Tenn and smiled softly. “I’m sure you’ll be able to get through this too, Tenn.” 

Tenn nodded his head. Ryuu was right, he had been through a lot of things. Surely, this too shall pass. 

Haruka stared at the partition that separated him and the muffled cheers of the crowd from the other side.

Today was the day of the joint live. 

Everything had gone by smoothly. The preparation, the stages, the rehearsal. Everything should go by smoothly today. No mishaps, no accidents. But Haruka couldn’t help but cast a worried glance to his left. 

Tenn was breathing irregularly. 

He seemed to be taking deep breaths every few seconds. His body was thinner than Haruka last remembered. And he seemed to falter with every few steps. Something was definitely off. 

Haruka couldn’t tell, nor could he even walk over and ask. In the month that led to today, Tenn seemed to put a distance between them. He stopped asking Haruka to hang out, even refused to have the lunches he prepared. 

And Haruka couldn’t even be upset about it. It was what he wanted for so long. He should be grateful, right? Finally Tenn was doing what Haruka asked of him for so long. 

But with the way his two older members hovered over him all the time, Haruka wondered what was wrong. 

His only clue was the very obvious soul mark that connected the both of them. 

“Kujou,” Haruka called out in between sets. ŹOOĻ was done with theirs and TRIGGER would be up soon. But before that, there was an intermission with the shuffle unit stages.

Tenn looked at him, blinking slowly. “What is it?” 

“Are you okay?” Haruka asked, worried. 

“Yes. I’m fine.” 

“Kujou-” 

“I’m fine.” Tenn insisted with a stern voice. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Haruka stopped himself from chewing on his bottom lips. How can he not worry? There was clearly something wrong. Tenn wasn’t coughing or choking on flowers but for all he knows, the older idol was vomiting them in between stages.

That couldn’t be good. It was one thing to choke or cough on flowers. But vomiting them means vomiting blood too. That was a lot of energy lost. TRIGGER has a lot of active performances. If he kept this up, Tenn might not make it. 

Their shuffle stage went by without a hitch. Haruka couldn’t remember how he did, but hopefully good enough that no one noticed any errors. He couldn’t help but glance at Tenn every once in a while on stage. Making sure that the man was still there. Truly, a professional. Not even a slight mishap, no one would see how he had struggled backstage. 

It was only after the performance was done, when they were far away from the crowd that Haruka felt a tight grip on his forearm. 

“Sorry.” Tenn whispered, trying to push away from leaning his entire body weight onto Haruka. Before he could move away, Haruka held onto his hand. 

“I’ll take you to the waiting room.” 

Tenn shook his head. “Washroom.” He heaved. “The one near the staircase. Far from everyone.” 

With much difficulty, Haruka guided Tenn to the washroom. The older idol was leaning most of his weight onto Haruka but tried to look perfectly fine in the face of passing staff and idols. 

As soon as they entered the washroom, Tenn immediately walked to the nearest stall while Haruka locked the door. It was far from foot traffic but it was better to be safe. 

There was another shuffle unit performing before Re:Vale’s set was up and then TRIGGER’s. Tenn had roughly half an hour. 

“Kujou?” Haruka called out, peeking into the stall that Tenn had rushed in. He could see splats of red, white and blue everywhere. Haruka winced. “You can’t perform…” 

“Who says I can’t?” Tenn croaked, head snapping towards Haruka. 

“You’re vomiting so much!” Haruka hissed. “You’re going to pass out. Your voice will sound rough.” 

“I wasn’t out of tune, was I?” Tenn sniffled, standing up with wobbly legs. Haruka reached out to help him but was pushed away by Tenn. “I’m still standing, aren’t I? I can still walk, I can still dance. I am still sane. I’m fine. I can still perform.” 

“Why are you so fucking stubborn?” Haruka groaned out. “At this point you’ll kill yourself!” 

“And what does it mean to you?” 

Haruka spluttered out. “What does it mean to me?” 

“Yeah.” Tenn said, taking a deep breath. “Because I’m your soulmate? Because you care for me? Or because you feel guilty? You said so yourself, we’re two worlds apart, we’re not meant to be. So why does it matter to you if I’m dying?”

“Of course it does! I’m not that inhumane.” 

“If so, then you should just accept our soul bond.” 

“I can’t-” 

“Why not?” Tenn cut him off, glaring. “Because your hatred for me runs so deep?” 

“It’s not- I-” Haruka stuttered out. The words were stuck in his throat. He knew why; he knows that Tenn deserves better. Not someone like him, not the reject, not the failure. He cares for Tenn, he loves him and because of that, he wants to set Tenn free. Not let him be bound by him from some stupid thing called fate. 

But somehow, he couldn’t say it.  

“You don’t even have an answer.” 

“Kujou-” 

“It’s fine, Isumi Haruka. I don’t blame it on you. You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you? And I know that I’m also part of the problem.” Tenn said, hand reaching out towards the door to stabilize himself. “I’ll free you from this soul bond. It’s what you want right?” 

Haruka stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t know what to say as Tenn pushed past him. 

“But you have to wait until the live is over. After all, I can’t disappoint the fans that had made an effort to attend today’s concert.” 

Haruka watched as Tenn left the washroom, the door softly clicking as he was finally left alone. 

There was a commotion backstage. 

The curtains had closed, an encore had been given and everyone was slowly starting to filter out of the stadium. A staff rushed past him and Haruka could only see the blurry sight of pink hair. 

"Tenn collapsed..!"

"Kujou Tenn!"

"Tenn!"

Haruka could hear ringing in his ears. His eyes widened, pushing past staff and idols alike. Everyone was bustling about, unsure of what was going on. On a far corner of the backstage, Haruka could see TRIGGER's manager alongside the other two members. Tenn was nowhere in sight.

"Kujou-"

Gaku immediately side stepped and stood in front of him when he saw Haruka, blocking him from whatever was going on behind them. Haruka stared up at him, eyes wide. 

"Yaotome..!"

"I think you should not be here, Isumi."

He inhaled shakily, stepping back. "But Kujou-"

"For now, we will deal with it. But you shouldn't be here, Isumi." Gaku said, voice calm. "And I mean this in the nicest way possible. It's better if you don't come near him right now.”

Haruka moved further back. He bumped into someone, turning around to see Minami holding him carefully by the shoulders with a grim expression. 

“Tenn-nii..?” To his right, he saw Riku who had come by when he heard the commotion, face pale and hyperventilating. 

“Nanase-san, breathe..!” Iori reminded him, holding him back by the arm. 

“Nanase, he’s fine. Just overworked.” Gaku said, trying to calm the other idol down. “Don’t worry, alright? Anesagi is bringing him straight to the hospital. We’ll inform you when he’s okay.” 

Riku seemed to slightly calm down at this information. And with Iori grounding him, the male was no longer hyperventilating. The crowd behind Gaku had slowly filtered out too, signaling that Tenn had been taken away and Gaku should follow suit. He glanced briefly at Haruka, meeting each other’s gaze. 

“I’ll inform you too.” Gaku said before following the rest and taking away the collapsed Tenn. 

The only thing stopping Haruka’s knees from meeting the ground was Minami supporting him upright. 

“Isumi-san,” 

“It’s my fault…” Haruka whispered quietly, eyes wide. “I’m a curse to him.” 

Yaotome Production announced two weeks ago that TRIGGER’s center, Kujou Tenn, would be on a temporary hiatus due to health complications. 

Haruka has not opened any of his non-work related messages since the joint live concert two weeks ago. 

Gaku had informed in the group chat with all four idol groups that Tenn was stable but would need to be in bed rest for a while due to overworking himself. Everyone except Haruka had sent him well wishes. 

A private message had been sent to Haruka by Gaku. He hasn’t opened it. And by the brief glimpse he got from the notification bar, he didn’t want to open it. 

“Isumi-san.” Minami called out. It was just them today in the waiting room and Haruka had been spacing out for too long. “Are you not going to visit him?” 

“No.” 

“Isumi-san…” 

“It’s better if I don’t.” Haruka said. “What can I do if I go visit him anyways? I’ll worsen his condition.” 

“We should at least pay him a visit, as colleagues from the same industry.” Minami reasoned. 

“You can go on behalf of me. I’ve already done too much damage. Nothing I do would change the fact I almost killed him.” 

“Isumi-san, Kujou-san chose to not do the surgery and bear the consequences. It is not entirely your fault.” 

Haruka shook his head. “No. I caused his hanahaki. I cornered him into that choice. It’s my fault.” 

Minami sighed quietly. The stubborn teenager would not listen to anyone and Minami wasn’t sure if any power on Earth was able to move him. The door to their waiting room opened, Torao and Touma entering. 

“Hey, Riku just told me that Kujou allows visitors now.” Touma informed them. “Should we pay him a visit after our schedule later?” 

Minami glanced over at Haruka. He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t mind.” 

“I can’t.” Haruka said. “I have plans.” 

“Can’t you postpone them?” Touma inquired, an eyebrow arched. 

“No. And I gotta leave right after our schedule. You guys can go ahead.” Haruka replied curtly. 

“Well, okay then. But if you want to visit him later he’s at that hospital your grandma goes for check-ups. Riku sent me his room number too-” 

“It’s fine. I won’t need it.” Haruka cut him off. Touma blinked slowly, eyes glancing over from Minami to Torao, who both shrugged their shoulders. 

“Okay then..? I guess you can also ask him directly. You’re friends with Kujou after all.” 

Haruka hummed quietly, neither agreeing or denying. He couldn’t tell Touma that he and Tenn were closer to being the murderer and the almost murdered. 

“I’m sorry to make you do this Haru-chan. You must be tired and busy from work…” His grandmother said from the other line.

“It’s okay, grandma. It’s on the way home so I can just do a quick pick up. Can you send me the prescription list? I’ll go get it and return home.” Haruka said before ending the call. 

He sighed quietly, tugging at his shoulder bag as he walked towards the hospital. He just needed to pick up the prescriptions his grandma had forgotten and he could return. It won’t take too long. 

“Here’s the prescription. You can get more during the next check up or you can just come over if you run out before that.” The pharmacist said as she handed him a bag. 

Haruka nodded his head. “Alright, thanks.” 

He left the hospital’s pharmacy desk, his grandma’s prescription in hand. Haruka took out his phone to text her telling that he was done when he accidentally scrolled down his message logs. The words from one of his unread messages from almost three weeks ago stared back at him. 

“He’s at that hospital your grandma goes for check-ups.” 

Haruka blinked. Kujou Tenn was here. 

Well, at least Haruka thinks he was still here. He is still on hiatus and the last update from Gaku in the 16 idols group chat stated that Tenn still hadn’t been discharged yet. 

His members had visited the older idol just a few days ago. A visit that Haruka had opted out of, citing that he was busy.

Haruka took a deep breath. 

He could probably peek at Tenn from outside his ward. 

He gnawed at the bottom of his lips before clicking on the unread message from Gaku. 

Tenn is at Tokyo General Hospital, VIP Room 913. Go see him. 

Haruka took another deep breath and walked the other way towards the hospital’s east wing. 

The VIP rooms weren’t highly guarded but it was separated far from the other general wards. It didn’t take long for Haruka to find Tenn’s room, standing in front of it with hesitation. 

He didn’t have to go in, Haruka reasoned. Just a little peek from the small window on the door then he would leave. 

But what if Tenn noticed him? And then Haruka would have to go in. Oh, but he can’t. He couldn’t bear to see the hurt that he had caused the other. 

No, his presence would definitely make Tenn’s condition worse. He should just leave. 

“Are you not going to go in?” 

Haruka jumped, immediately spinning around, eyes wide as he met familiar garnet eyes. “Kujou..!” 

Tenn stared back, head tilted to the side. “You look like you saw a ghost. I’m not dead yet. This is the real me, in the flesh.” 

“No- I- uh,” 

“So are you not going to go in?” Tenn asked him again. 

“I- um, I didn’t bring any gifts…” Haruka mumbled quietly. 

Tenn arched an eyebrow. He let out a small laugh. “I didn’t ask you to bring any.” 

“Isn’t it kind of rude to visit a sick person empty handed..?” Haruka said. 

“And what were you thinking of bringing me?” 

“Um, fruits?” 

Tenn made a face. “I have enough of those. Half of them are starting to rot. Just go in.” 

“Um…” 

“You are here to see me, aren’t you?” 

“Well,” Haruka muttered. There was an intention. But he did plan on backing out earlier. 

“Just go in,” Tenn said in a soft voice. “Let’s talk.” 

Haruka blinked at him. With slight hesitation, he nodded his head and held the door open as he let Tenn enter first, dragging his IV drip with him. The other idol didn’t look as sickly as he did the other day, he looked healthier in a sense. 

Tenn climbed up his hospital bed and sat on it while Haruka sat down on one of the nearby chairs. 

“Your members came the other day. Surprised you didn’t join them.” 

“I had plans.” 

“Really? And not because you’re avoiding me?” 

Haruka looked away. “I had plans.” 

Tenn hummed quietly. The silence between them seemed to stretch for so long. 

“I did the surgery.” Haruka’s eyes snapped towards Tenn. Their eyes meet. “I’ve removed the flower. I no longer have hanahaki.”

“Oh.” Haruka mumbled. He should sigh in relief. He should let out a light, airy breath. He should be glad. But instead his heart dropped. A heavy weight rested in the middle of his stomach. It was almost suffocating. His lips stretched out into a wobbly smile. 

“So I guess we’re no longer soul-” 

“Haruka, I like you.” 

Haruka blinked. “What?” 

“I like you.” Tenn repeated, eyes staring straight into Haruka. “I’m in love with you.” 

“What? No- what? Huh?” Haruka spluttered. “You’re just saying that.” 

“No. I’m not just saying this. I mean it. Isumi Haruka, I like you. I’m in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long.” 

Haruka shook his head. “No-” 

“Yes, Haruka.” 

“No!” Haruka said, standing up. “You’re just saying that! You’re saying that because we’re soulmates- but we’re not! We’re not anymore! You did the surgery-” 

“I didn’t remove the soul bond.” Tenn explained, showing the palm of his hand. “I only removed the flower.” 

“What? You- You’re going to get hanahaki again..!” 

“No, I won’t.” Tenn said sternly. He stood up, holding Haruka by the forearm to stop him from potentially running away. “Because I am going to be truthful now. Isumi Haruka, I like you. I’ve always had, ever since you apologized to TRIGGER. Even before I knew you were my soulmate. I’ve liked you for so long, I always wanted us to be closer.” 

“But your hanahaki-” 

“My hanahaki is not because of you.” Tenn replied. “There are many causes of hanahaki. Unrequited love, soulmate rejection. For me, I- it’s because I like you so much, the overflowing feelings resulted in hanahaki.”

Haruka tried to pry away but Tenn gripped at him harder, enough to have him stay but not enough to hurt him. 

“Well, I- I don’t like you! I hate you! I have no feelings for you at all!” 

“Liar.” Tenn said, smiling slightly. “You wouldn’t have told me to have that surgery if you had no feelings for me.” 

“I wasn’t evil enough to let you die-” 

“Because you like me. Because you care for me. Right?” 

Haruka huffed, looking away. “You are so full of yourself.” 

“I wouldn’t have make it this far otherwise.” Tenn said. His hand trailed down Haruka’s forearm, wrist and then he held his hand, intertwining their fingers together. 

It was the hand with their soul marks on each palm. Haruka looked down, feeling a warmth emitting from their palms. It was not that static, shocking electricity they had felt some time ago. 

“Look at me, Haruka.” Tenn instructed as the younger male looked at him. “I like you. Soulmate or not. I like you so much.” 

Haruka’s eyes flitted about, trying to find the lie in Tenn’s expression. But he met Haruka’s every gaze sincerely. 

"How can you like me?” Haruka whispered. “When I've done nothing but make your life miserable?”

Tenn chuckled. “I can’t tell you how. It just happens, I guess. I don’t know what you’re thinking inside that pretty little head of yours but I know now that you didn’t ask me to get surgery out of malice. You didn’t say all those things because you hate me. You’re just trying to push me away.” 

Haruka shook his head. “Fate is cruel to you. You deserve someone better-” 

“No one is better than you.” Tenn said, cutting him off. “I’ll tell you a billion times over until it gets through to you. I don’t want anyone else but you.” 

Haruka’s eyes welled up in tears. 

“I’m sorry.” Haruka whispered as he rubbed at his eyes with his other hand. “I like you too. I wished I was the one who suffered hanahaki instead.” 

“No. No more hanahaki.” Tenn said, squeezing his hand. He raised his other hand to wipe at Haruka’s tears. “It’s just us now.” 

Haruka nodded his head, sniffling. “Yeah. Just us.” 

So Tenn almost died and was close to fulfilling his adoptive father’s disillusioned prophecy of becoming the next Zero. The little scar above his chest was proof of this incident. But the outcome of it wasn’t too bad. 

“Tenn! Sorry I’m late, there was a delay at the station.” Haruka said, heaving slightly from his short jog. His cheeks were flushed red; big, bright eyes stared at Tenn lovingly. 

Tenn smiled. To think that he had to take several detours to come to this outcome. If only he had got here quicker. 

But now is good too. 

“It’s okay. I didn’t wait long.” Tenn answered. 

Haruka’s head tilted to the side. “What are you thinking?” 

Tenn shook his head. “Nothing. Should we go?” 

“Sure.” 

Tenn let out a small cough and Haruka immediately snapped his head towards him. The sudden action startled Tenn.

"What?" Tenn asked as he looked at Haruka

The younger idol stared back with wide eyes. He looked terrified. The once rosy cheeks were drained out of color. Tenn's gaze softened. 

"I'm okay now, Haruka." Tenn said, voice gentle. "That was just a regular cough."

"Sorry... I got paranoid." Haruka whispered quietly, head hung low. "Every bad thing that happens to Tenn was always because of me. I was scared it happened again."

"Hey. Don't say that." Tenn said, cupping his lover's cheeks. He raised Haruka's head slightly, letting their gaze meet. "Every good thing was because of Haruka too. If there were a lot of bad things, then we will continue to rewrite it with all the new, good things."

Tenn smiled at him. "The doctor said the flower has wilted and I already had it remove so there is no need to worry anymore. Haruka loves me, doesn't he?"

Haruka nodded his head. "I do."

"Then there's no need to worry about it. I won't get hanahaki again as long as I have you with me. Got it?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Tenn said before stepping away and holding Haruka's hand. The soul marks that once stung at contact now only provided warmth for the two of them. "Let's go?"

"Okay." Haruka said, squeezing Tenn's hand gently. "Let's go.”

In this universe, everyone has a soulmate. 

There were many ways to find your soulmate, many figures taking place. Your soulmate can be just about anyone; a stranger, a friend, an enemy, a baker, a teacher, a police officer. An idol. 

For idol Kujou Tenn, his soulmate was also a fellow idol. His fated person that he found after a lot of twists and turns. There would probably be more difficulties from here on out. But Tenn would overcome it one way or another. 

He would protect this love they had for each other, just like the delphiniums drawn on their palms.