Chapter Text
Jiang Cheng was finishing up lunch with Lan Xichen in the Hanshi, when there was a soft knock on the door.
“Xiongzhang, it’s me,” Lan Wangji’s voice called out.
Lan Xichen set his chopsticks down and rose from the table, before responding, “You may enter.”
The door slid open to reveal Lan Wangji standing there, Wei Wuxian standing behind him.
“Wangji, Wei-gongzi, what brings you here?” Lan Xichen asked, still standing to avoid breaking the ‘no talking at meals’ rule. Truly, Lans and being stickler for rules…
“Shijie said she’s coming over to visit Lotus Pier for awhile, so I’ll have to cut short my visit here,” Wei Wuxian said cheerily, “Just wanted to say bye to Jiang Cheng before I left!”
Lan Xichen cast a glance back at Jiang Cheng. After a touch of hesitation, he asked, “Do you want to talk to him?”
Jiang Cheng swallowed.
It was all too sudden, too soon.
Memories of Wei Wuxian trying to kill him on many occasions mingled with his own attempt to kill Wei Wuxian in Qishan, followed by the argument they had just yesterday, before Jiang Cheng got his memories back-
“Why wouldn’t Jiang Cheng want to talk to me?” Wei Wuxian asked, crossing his arms in a way that was entirely Wei Wuxian-esque.
What was Jiang Cheng going to say? What could he even say? Thanks for taking care of Yunmeng Jiang, it’s all yours now, just like A-Die always wanted? Sorry for disappearing this whole time? Or selfishly, could he even say- the reason I’m like that now is because I tried, for just one time in my life, to be unselfish, and I did it all for you?
A sudden surge of bitterness bubbled in his throat, an unwelcome but familiar feeling. These treacherous words lingered at the tip of his tongue, threatening to escape. He felt that if he were to speak, they would surely come out, proving once and for all that Jiang Cheng was made out of nothing but spite, jealousy and selfishness. Part of him wondered if it would have simply been easier to have never regained his memories - as Wang Lingjiao, he would have believed himself a sinner, but not felt the weight of all those sins. But now, being Jiang Cheng, he was just drowning in his past sins and regrets, deep underwater and struggling to breathe-
“Thank you for visiting, Wei-gongzi, I’m sure the sentiment is appreciated,” Lan Xichen said, making to close the door.
“Wait-“
“It is not polite to suddenly visit unannounced, Wei-gongzi-“
“Xiongzhang, we did announce our visit, Wei Ying did nothing wrong, he is observing the formalities of bidding farewell-“
“-it’s okay, Lan Zhan, I’ll just go-“
“Wei Ying wants to speak to Jiang Wanyin-“
“And Wanyin should get to decide if he wants to speak to Wei-gongzi-“
“Stop,” Jiang Cheng hissed.
He clambered to his feet inelegantly, shoving the door open to its maximum wideness.
“There. You’ve seen me. Satisfied? Heavens above, is there really a need to argue like that just over me and Wei Wuxian?” he demanded. He already had enough with his parents arguing over him and Wei Wuxian, he certainly was not interested in revisiting that with the Twin Jades.
“I’m starting to wonder how it took me so long to realise you were Jiang Cheng - the resemblance is uncanny when you speak like that,” Wei Wuxian breathed.
Jiang Cheng’s eyes accidentally met Wei Wuxian and he quickly looked away. “Is that so,” he said. The bitter words from before once more floated in his mind, threatening to spill out all over again. It was just so hard to look at Wei Wuxian sometimes- he was everything Jiang Cheng wished he could be, now even more so.
“You know, I did come all the way here just to check on you,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding hurt, “The least you could do is look at me.”
“Why- is the affection of the great Hanguang-Jun not enough, and you’re now chasing the skirts of every maiden you see?” Jiang Cheng blurted, his words coming out bitingly.
He could feel the air around them tense as Lan Wangji clenched his fists.
“Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Wangji said, a warning note in his voice.
“I’m sorry, since when did you think I was Jiang Wanyin? Though I suppose you’d believe every word that Wei Wuxian says,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes, “I bet if Wei Wuxian accused me of being Wen Ruohan you’d believe him too. Then again, you’ve always followed after Wei Wuxian like some kind of-“
“Perhaps it would be a good time to leave, Wangji,” Lan Xichen quickly interrupted, before Jiang Cheng could finish his sentence.
“We will,” Lan Wangji said, glaring at Jiang Cheng furiously. He tugged at Wei Wuxian’s hands, not beating the allegations. “Wei Ying.”
“No,” Wei Wuxian said simply.
“Wei Ying-“
“I suspected, yesterday, that you got your memories back,” Wei Wuxian said, and Jiang Cheng felt a stone drop in his heart. “But then I thought it couldn’t be- surely you would tell me. But you really haven’t changed a bit, Jiang Cheng- always trying to provoke people when you’re trying to deflect from the real issue here. Were you really going to let me leave without telling me?”
“And what am I supposed to be telling you?” Jiang Cheng demanded, tightening his grip on his chopsticks.
“That you remember. That you’re you again. How long did you think you could keep it from me? The moment you said my name I already knew. There is no one else in this world who says it like you.”
“And so what if I know? And so what if you know? What does that change?” Jiang Cheng asked, swallowing.
“It changes everything! Gods, were you always so dense?”
“Oh yes,” Jiang Cheng said immediately, his mouth moving before his brain, “I’ve always been the dense one- not as brilliant as you, not as smart, not as charming- did I miss anything else?”
“Why are you always so frustrating!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, looking like he wanted to tear his hair out.
“Right, thanks for pointing that out- add frustrating to that list too,” Jiang Cheng said, the chopsticks in his hand snapping into two between his fingers. He mentally apologised to Lan Xichen for the destruction of property as he let the pieces fall onto the table. “Now that we’ve got all of that out of the way, you can fuck off back to Lotus Pier and leave me alone.”
“Fuck you too- do you know how much time I’ve spent looking for you? How much Shijie has cried over you?”
“What am I supposed to do, thank you?” Jiang Cheng asked, rising to his feet.
“Did you think that’s what I did it for? To hear a ‘thank you’ and ‘fuck off’?”
“Then what more do you want from me!” Jiang Cheng all but screamed, Wang Lingjiao’s voice making him sound more like a shrill maiden. More like his mother.
“I want you to come home!”
“I don’t have a home, not anymore!”
His words resounded in the quiet Hanshi, Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji quietly watching as Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian made a complete mess of things.
Wei Wuxian swallowed. With a shaky, wobbly smile, he whispered, “So, is that how it is? You take someone else’s body, and now decide that you want nothing to do with us anymore? Does Yunmeng Jiang not matter to you? Do you not care about Shijie? Do you not care about me?”
Jiang Cheng blinked. “That’s not what I mean-“
“I suppose now you just care about Lan Xichen, seeing how both of you are so comfortably together all the time-“
Wei Wuxian’s mention of Lan Xichen made Jiang Cheng’s hackles raise instantly in defence. “Funny for you to say, seeing what everyone says about you and Lan Wangji-“
“At least I still remember my duty to my sect, unlike some people-“
Oh, Jiang Cheng did not live this long to get lectured about duty from the likes of Wei Wuxian. “I don’t seem to remember you preaching about duty when you shirked your responsibilities. But I suppose it never really mattered, because no matter what you could do no wrong in A-Die’s eyes, and besides, you’re such a genius that even while doing less, you’re better than everyone else-“
“Are we having that conversation again?” Wei Wuxian asked, a hard look in his eyes, “I seem to distinctly remember that we made a promise to each other, that I’ll be at your side when the time came for you to lead Lotus Pier- who’s breaking that promise now?”
“Well, good job, you win, Lotus Pier is all yours for all I care,” Jiang Cheng all but spat. “You were always better than me and everyone liked you more anyways.”
“I never wanted this!” Wei Wuxian snapped back, “Why do you always act as if I’m trying to steal what should be yours? I never wanted it, and I never tried for it-“
“And that makes it so, much, worse!” Jiang Cheng cried out, clenching his fists at his side, “You’re right, you’ve never wanted it, but I’ve tried so hard all my life to be good enough for it but I’ve never been able to, and now, like this, I won’t even be able to step into Lotus Pier without everyone’s hatred, how do you think I feel!”
“And Cloud Recesses doesn’t have that problem?”
“For one thing, Wang Lingjiao did not personally massacre their Sect,” Jiang Cheng bit out, “And for another, I don’t care about what the people here think. But do you think I could bear to look at any of those people we used to know and see nothing but hatred in their eyes?”
“We can convince them,” Wei Wuxian said, his eyes turning wide and bright, like he was already starting to formulate one of his elaborate plans, “We can make them believe-“
“So what if they believe? Do you think they’ll ever be able to look past-“ Jiang Cheng gestured at his face, “-this?”
“I don’t understand- so you’re going to hide away for the rest of your life? Away from your family, and away from your Sect?” Wei Wuxian asked.
“Maybe I will!”
At this, a serious, hard expression formed on Wei Wuxian’s face- completely uncharacteristic from his usual devil-may-care, easygoing smiles. “Perhaps I was wrong, then,” Wei Wuxian said grimly, “Maybe you’re not as similar as I thought.”
Jiang Cheng’s lips parted, about to ask what Wei Wuxian was going on about.
“The Jiang Cheng I knew would never turn his back on his Sect and family like that.”
Wei Wuxian’s words felt like a sudden slap in the face, leaving Jiang Cheng stunned in its wake.
“Let’s go, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, turning to leave.
Unquestioningly, Lan Wangji followed obediently behind Wei Wuxian like some sort of puppy-dog, leaving Jiang Cheng standing in the suddenly quiet Hanshi with Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng had wanted them to leave, but it felt like other than the chopsticks, something else had been broken in that conversation.
“Wanyin-“
“I’m sorry about the chopsticks,” Jiang Cheng said.
Lan Xichen blinked - clearly he had not been expecting that. “The chopsticks are not important, I have many more,” he said.
Jiang Cheng stood and watched quietly as Lan Xichen picked up the trays of food and slowly brought them outside the room. Things here were easier, more predictable, and safer- he could just stay away from the rest of the world, with Lan Xichen staking his reputation on his line to protect Jiang Cheng and his secrets.
Wei Wuxian’s words echoed in his mind - “You take someone else’s body, and now decide that you want nothing to do with us anymore?”
Jiang Cheng could do this, for the rest of his life, if he wanted to.
In fact, if he hid away forever, the name Jiang Wanyin would be remembered fondly in the streets of Yunmeng, a young master who had sadly died too soon along with the rest of his Sect, rather than as an abomination trapped in a twisted existence.
Considering the circumstances, having all this comfort and safety in Cloud Recesses was already more than Jiang Cheng could have ever ask for. Here he could be safe. Here he could be free.
Jiang Cheng swallowed.
“I need to go to Lotus Pier.”