picture book
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Summary
After averting the apocalypse, the Hargreeves family is working on getting closer, but Vanya's not cooperating.
Exhibit A: She's in a band, and she didn't even tell anyone! Luckily, Allison got all the details, and they're going to crash her show.
Or, well, she got some of the details...
Series
- Part 1 of picture book
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“That is not how you spell that word, and you know it.”
“Do I know that, Luther? Do I? I am a free-thinking, outside-the-box kind of person, and I don’t ‘play’ by your ‘rules.’”
“Well, I suggest you play by Scrabble’s rules, because otherwise I’m quitting.”
__________________________________________________Luther, Klaus, and Five play a board game, make dinner plans, and definitely don't learn how to apologize.
Series
- Part 2 of picture book
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"I’m just saying that we’re all thirty years old, and we’re arguing over toys.”
“Not just any toy, Allison! Our dear brother’s favorite toy.”
“It wasn’t a toy,” Luther muttered into his mug. “It was a model.”
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The Hargreeves family assembles for breakfast. Vanya brings donuts. Luther brings up a childhood mystery.Series
- Part 3 of picture book
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"Put on your seatbelt.”
“I respectfully decline.”
“I mean it. Put your belt on.”
“One time, I met this guy, and he died by getting strangled with his seatbelt. Also, the shoulder strap chafes my nipple. You don’t want me to die or have a chafed nipple, do you, Diego?”
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Klaus might not know how to drive, but he thinks he makes Diego a pretty good co-pilot anyway.Series
- Part 4 of picture book
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"Happy birthday to you!"
They had three different types of macaroni salad, no hamburger buns, and a dead man was teaching them how to use a grill.
"Happy birthday to you!"
Five was drunk. Allison was hungover. Mom was still trying to wrap her head around why they were eating outside.
"Happy birthday, dear America!"
Diego could deal with all that, but Luther just HAD to keep one-upping him, didn't he?
"Happy birthday to you!"
_____________________________________________The Hargreeves have many talents, but party planning is not one of them. In the spirit of the holiday, they still manage to make it work.
Series
- Part 5 of picture book
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“Why don’t we go out? Most of my friends won’t be stateside until the fall, but I think we can still find a way to get ourselves in trouble.”
Ben blinked in surprise. By ‘friends,’ did Dave mean living people, or dead ones?
“I have a spot in mind. What do you say?”
“I… guess.”
____________________________________________Dave has been found, Ben is jealous, and they might have just become best friends.
Series
- Part 6 of picture book
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“Did you get light bulbs? Half the lights in the library are out.”
“No. No, I did not get light bulbs.”
“Tell me you got more toilet paper. We ran out this morning.”
"Uh, well..."
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Luther realizes that not every team needs a leader, and that he and his brothers form one competent adult between them.
Series
- Part 7 of picture book
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Summary
It was a difficult piece, but Vanya was enjoying the challenge.
It helped to picture the notes as a landscape, she’d found. Pizzicato stepping stones across the stream of the sustained D-sharp, climbing up, up, up the hill of the arpeggio—
Five appeared in front of her. “You’re making everything in the kitchen levitate.”
Vanya shrieked in surprise, and then shrieked again at the deafening crash of china in the other room.
Five winced. “Should have seen that coming.”
__________________________________In retrospect, giving all of her siblings keys to her apartment might not have been the best idea Vanya had ever had.
Series
- Part 8 of picture book
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“I don’t know what to get her.”
“An all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas."
“Klaus. Be serious.”
“A diamond tiara.”
“Klaus.”
“Two diamond tiaras? One for special occasions and one just to wear around the house.”
______________________________________It's the Hargreeves' community birthday, and this is going to be the best one any of them have had in a long time. All they have left to do is find everyone's perfect present...
Series
- Part 9 of picture book
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Klaus has the costume, the candy, and the decorations.
Ben has plans for the night.
Dave has some light reading material in the form of one of Sir Reginald's weird journals he found in the attic, and it's shaping up to be a pretty good time all around.
“Klaus. Sweetheart. I know you’re just excited about Halloween, but right now you’re straight-up trying to lure small children away from their parents with candy. Maybe take a step back and think this over for a second.”
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Happy Halloween!Series
- Part 10 of picture book
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“So, I was thinking that we could go out and have a ‘Me and You’ day.”
“What inspired that thought?”
“We never do anything that’s just the two of us. I thought we could hang out for a bit, that’s all.”
Five narrowed his eyes and took a sip of his coffee. Like hell that was all.
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Five finds a new purpose in life. Allison just wants him to stop yelling at her.
Series
- Part 11 of picture book
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Vanya pressed the doorbell and waited.
And waited.
She wrapped her arms around herself to brace against the freezing gusts of wind. It was strange that it was taking so long for anybody to answer, wasn’t it? She hoped nothing was wrong.
Then Allison flung the door open wearing her PJs and no makeup, and Vanya knew something was wrong.
“Oh, Vanya!” She sounded a little out of breath and a lot frazzled. “Here, come in, we just—you didn’t see Mom outside, did you?”
“Uh…no?” Vanya stepped into the house and balled her scarf up in her hands. “Should I have seen her?”
Allison let out a shaky sigh. “No, but it would make everything easier.” She tugged at a lock of her hair. “We can’t find her.”
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The Umbrella Academy is reunited for their first mission in a very long time. Meanwhile, Grace is on a mission of her own.Series
- Part 12 of picture book
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“Okay!” Klaus clicked a pen with a flourish and leaned over the job application spread out across the coffee table. “What are my skills?”
“We-e-ell, I guess the obvious answer is talking to ghosts, but I don’t think you should write that.”
“No, no, definitely not.” Klaus tapped his fingers. “I can run pretty fast?”
He knew for a fact that he could outrun an easy two-thirds of the NYPD. If that wasn’t a useful skill, he’d eat his own hat.
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Klaus looks for a job, and finds a new direction in life.Series
- Part 13 of picture book
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“I’m going to be spending a lot of time at the gym for the next few weeks. So you probably won’t see me much.”
Nobody looked over at him. He forged ahead anyway.
"I have a thing. I'm going to be busy."
"Okay."
"Really busy. Because of the thing."
"What is it that you're doing, Diego?"
“Nothing major.” He cracked his neck. “Got a fight coming up.”
______________________________Maybe his family is stupid and annoying, and maybe none of them really get boxing, but Diego guesses he'll keep them anyway.
Series
- Part 14 of picture book
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Dear Mr. Hargreeves,
Hello, I hope this letter finds you well! I am a teacher at Millard Fillmore Elementary School in the Bronx, and I’m writing to invite you to be a guest speaker for our third grade class. It would be such a wonderful learning experience for our students to be able to hear from a real astronaut.
Luther dropped the letter onto the desk and readjusted the phone next to his ear.
“I don’t know,” he said. “It sounds like a prank to me.”
____________________In which Luther conquers public speaking and rediscovers an old passion.
Series
- Part 15 of picture book
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“What?” Diego’s flat voice greeted her.
“Oh, is that how we’re answering the phone now? Good morning to you, too.”
He grunted. “I’m heading out to work and I’m writing a note that you called as we speak. So unless you have something important to tell me, I’m hanging up.”
Wow, he was a regular ray of sunshine today, wasn’t he? Allison sat down sideways in one of the high stools at the kitchen island.
“Everything okay? Because I expect Five to threaten to hang up on me in the first ten seconds of a call, but you usually make it little further than this.”
Her own problems could wait a few minutes—God knew they weren’t going anywhere.
___________________________
It's hard, sometimes, being out in Los Angeles by herself, but Allison's siblings and all of their issues are only a phone call away.Series
- Part 16 of picture book
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“Sorry. I don’t mean to be moody. It’s just… the anniversary of the day I died is coming up, and everyone’s being sort of weird about it. That’s all.”
Klaus made a low sound and stroked his hair. “Well. That’s going to be a rough time all around.”
“Yeah,” Ben said softly. “I know.”
Klaus massaged his scalp in slow circles, and he let his eyes drift closed. At least he had one person who wasn’t going to make this into a bigger deal than it needed to be.
“We should throw you a party.”
__________________Ben used to think that being dead was boring. Used to.
Series
- Part 17 of picture book
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"Guys. Guys, I think we fucked up."
"Do you mean 'we' or do you mean 'you?'"
"We. This was a group effort fuck-up and you know it."
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How the Hargreeves spent their summer vacation.
Series
- Part 18 of picture book