Ineffable Bureaucracy
Series Metadata
Listing Series
-
Never to Rise by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
15 Aug 2019
Tags
Summary
To be Fallen is not a single action, they will soon learn, it is an enduring and everlasting rejection which forces bodies as far away from Heaven as possible. It is like gravity, it is like betrayal, it is like collaring a dog with electric and zapping when they drift too close to the fence. It is a purposeful rejection that knocks the grace from your very being and then locks the door behind you, even as you hammer and howl.
Series
- Part 1 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
Bottle Flies and Best Friends by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
18 Aug 2019
Tags
Summary
“I would like permission to love you,” Gabriel announced, and then added as an afterthought, “Please.”
“No.”
“No?” Gabriel frowned, sitting up straight, “But we were interested in each other’s interests, and we went to a new and interesting place, and there was a couple’s activity?”
Series
- Part 2 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
When Glory Comes by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
23 Aug 2019
Tags
Summary
Michael has told him who Beelzebub had been before they Fell.
Gabriel’s mind cannot possibly comprehend what to do next.
Beelzebub's fist lands square on Gabriel’s jaw, and he can only squeak from surprise as another smashes his nose back into his face.
They are both sobbing when the dust clears.
Series
- Part 3 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
Pecuniary Compensation by Eshnoazot for Shift7
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
01 Sep 2019
Tags
Summary
“They were,” Gabriel paused to consider his words, “Licking the walls.”
“The what,” Beelzebub responded flatly, and then stared incredulously at the group of Demons, “You were WHAT.”
“Heaven has great walls,” One of the Demons enthusiastically replied, “And Lord Dagon won’t let us lick the walls of Hell. We thought – maybe if Heaven had walls – we could lick their walls.”
Series
- Part 4 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
Tangerine by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
06 Sep 2019
Tags
Summary
“Aziraphale and I are best friends,” Crowley responded flatly, and peered at Gabriel with bubbling mirth, “And you created a form to fill out?”
“No,” Gabriel responded like you would respond to a particularly slow child, “Camael created the form, on my request, so that Beelzebub could fill it out.”
“Aziraphale and Beelzebub are friends?” Crowley retorted with a cry of shock and offense, and almost lost his balance as he scrambled into a less provocative posture, “Since when?”
Series
- Part 5 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
Equal and Opposite by Eshnoazot for FernStone
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
10 Sep 2019
Tags
Summary
“Have you ever thought about all this?” Beelzebub asks, and drops to their knees in front of him. They are all eye level, and Gabriel’s violet eyes are confused, but so very pleased to see them.
“The earth?”
“Us, Friendship,” Beelzebub responds, “Heaven, Hell – the ineffable plan? The Great Plan is gone – what’s next? What are we here for?”
“Um,” Gabriel responds, and then he looks away.
Series
- Part 6 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
Mate de coca by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
23 Sep 2019
Tags
Summary
“Sandy and I were having a fun Best Friends day,” Beelzebub hissed, “Because we don’t need you. You’re replaceable. I’ve replaced you.”
“No, we were not,” Sandalphon responded, “I think you’re despicable and the fact that my idiot co-worker has a disgusting little crush on you is the single worst thing I ever heard. It was a traumatic experience for the whole board meeting. Poor Oriphiel started crying.”
Gabriel went bright red.
Series
- Part 7 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
Documentation of Emergency Board Meeting, concerning the disclosure of a relationship between an Angel and a non-Angelic Entity: As Called by Archangel Gabriel. by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
23 Sep 2019
Tags
Summary
Statement from Archangel Michael:
Are you kidding me Gabriel? You can’t call Board meetings for this anymore; I don’t want to have to sit through another PowerPoint presentation about your bizarre fixation on the opposition. Do I have to write an official policy prohibiting this?
Statement from Angelic Resources, as read by Archangel Uriel to Archangel Gabriel:
There’s already a policy in place, Michael. I’ve been asked to read the following:
“Heaven strongly believes that a workplace environment where Angels maintain clear boundaries between personal and duty interactions is necessary for effective operations. Although this policy does not prohibit the development of friendships, nor how friendships are conducted between Angels and non-Angelic entities (herefore referred to as NAE’s), this policy establishes boundaries as to how relationships conducted during duty hours (all hours) and within the working environment (all of existence) should be conducted. “
Series
- Part 8 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
A compendium of cocktails, as sampled by Beelzebub and Dagon, Lower Management. by Eshnoazot
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
23 Sep 2019
Tags
Summary
“I’ve had this bucket of Jägermeister sitting on my shelf for the past decade or so,” Dagon said when Beelzebub walked straight into Dagon’s office and threw themselves into a beanbag that had been rotting since the ’80s, “The mayonnaise is in the shoe rack.”
“Fuck yes,” Beelzebub replied, and proceeded to mix the two in an array of Vaseline shot glasses that glowed ominously in the dark.
Series
- Part 9 of Ineffable Bureaucracy
-
The Fell of the Lion, The Fleece of the Sheep, (or The Marriage of Heaven and Hell) by Eshnoazot for Ira_Dunfort
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
21 Oct 2020
Tags
Summary
If the Great Plan had been theirs – why did Heaven insist on it? If it had been Heavens – why had Hell blindly followed it? The Fall was the birth of demon kind, the aftermath of a rebellion no-one could remember. Why had they rebelled? What was so different between Heaven and Hell anyway; they seemed to be a mirror image. If they were just the same picture, coloured a little darker, then why had they Fallen?
If the ineffable Plan was going to happen, regardless of whatever they thought, what the fuck was even the point.
Series
- Part 10 of Ineffable Bureaucracy