all I had was silence, and with the absence of your words, I took it as an answer
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lassitude (n.): weariness of body or mind; lack of energy, interest or spiritFor a few seconds, Naruto thought the ball of something that had been constantly growing in the middle of his chest would suffocate him, but he dug his nails in the palms of his hands and learned to breathe around it.
He went home and crawled into bed.
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They win the war, but somehow Naruto still feels like he's fighting something.
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saudade (n.): a feeling of longing, melancholy or nostalgia
He was turning 18 in a few months. This entire year had felt like a vivid nightmare. And still, he turned towards where the hospital was, kilometers away, and thought the only true regret he was left with was leaving the first time, and the second time, and all the times in between. The only true regret he still had was his hand through the chest of the only person he'll ever love.
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Sasuke thought getting Naruto out of that goddamned bed would be it. He was wrong.
sequel to : lassitude
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metanoia (n.):the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of lifeSasuke remained silent, swallowing around the dryness of his throat, and simply clutched Naruto’s hand tighter, using his other hand to pull him even closer, as if he could just hide him inside his chest, where no one could ever hurt him again.
Naruto’s hand was clutching at his shirt, like a child would, and Sasuke’s heart was breaking over and over again every day, seeing the difference, the way Naruto turned from the loudest, in-your-face, obnoxious brat, to this silent boy, lost and scared.
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It's always two steps forward, one step back. Naruto comes home.
sequel to: saudade
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nemesism (n.): frustration, anger, or aggression directed inward, toward oneself and one's way of living
Maybe if he got angry he’d be able to breathe. Maybe if he got angry he’ll be able to eat and drink and sleep without all the fucking side-effects from the fucking medicine that was fucking with his fucking head.
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The truth is harder than Naruto had ever expected. The guilt, however, is just as heavy as he thought it would be.
sequel to: metanoia
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