Rivals With Benefits
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Summary
It's been an educational day for Phoenix.
Honestly, most days are. The world is a pretty interesting place. There's always something to pick up on if you know where to look.
But today has been educational in some pretty weird ways. It's contained a lot of new facts about Edgeworth, for a start. He could write a list out. Maybe later he will.
For one, it turns out Edgeworth buys the good condoms.Series
- Part 1 of Rivals With Benefits
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"Very well, then," says the judge, "a thirty-minute recess. Mister Edgeworth, please do make sure your next witness is actually ready to testify."
The courtroom buzzes, the judge returns to his chambers, and Phoenix is out of his seat as quickly as possible, because Edgeworth is already on the move and Phoenix has a really Stupid Plan. He knows the way Edgeworth goes: down a back hall, staff only, and then a short-cut through a two-door stairwell, and luckily they're alone when Phoenix catches up to him and taps his shoulder.
"What— oh, it's you," Edgeworth says shortly. "What do you--"
Stupid Plan time.Series
- Part 2 of Rivals With Benefits
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"What about my bike?"
Edgeworth raises his eyebrows. "Your bike…?" He shrugs. "I don't think I can bring that along."
Phoenix looks again at that incredibly stupid, extremely sexy red sports car. There's nowhere in there for a bike. There's barely room for people. That means tomorrow he'll have to cab it back in. That costs money. Now he's trying to do mental math with Edgeworth looking at him, and he's not even in a courtroom. Argh, my life.
"Perhaps you could take a taxi home instead," suggests Edgeworth pseudo-helpfully. "I'm sure a taxi could take your bike."
Argh again. More mental math: bike home in suit and therefore not only soak suit but sweat in suit, necessitating either overnight dry cleaning fee or smelling up the entire courtroom tomorrow, versus cab fee from courthouse to his house now (not cheap), versus—
Versus how many chances he gets to ride in red sports cars. Even if they do belong to insufferable assholes.
"Okay."
Edgeworth tilts his head. "Okay what?"
"Okay. I'd like a ride."Series
- Part 3 of Rivals With Benefits
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III.A. The prosecution posits that putting a CD in someone else's stereo without their consent constitutes harassment. by tinsnip
Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
06 May 2023
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He turns the CD over, front and back. It's a plain blank CD. Wright must have burned it and put it surreptitiously into his CD player as a prank. Typical juvenility. He throws it on the seat next to him and turns his attention back to the road.
Absolutely, one-hundred percent on the road. He has no interest in Wright's games.
None at all.
All right, perhaps a small amount. It's a chance to get inside Wright's head, yes? Into that hollow, echoing space, where neurons fear to tread. God knows that with Wright's recent little winning streak, not to mention his general constant there-ness, Miles would like to have some idea of what fearful chemical reactions go on in there. Wright must have selected every song on that CD. Perhaps there's evidence to be gathered here.
Perhaps this will be… instructive.
Unlikely. What it will actually be like is having Wright in the passenger seat, nattering at him irrelevantly until his eyes actually hurt from being rolled.(Phoenix hides a mix CD in Miles's car stereo for the express purpose of being very irritating. He succeeds beyond his wildest dreams.)
Series
- Part 4 of Rivals With Benefits
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III.B. The defense states that the prosecution is not permitted to judge them based on their Saturday morning activities. by tinsnip
Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
11 May 2023
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It's weird to think of Edgeworth even existing on the weekend. It kind of seems like he should puff away in a cloud of maroon smoke at the stroke of 5 PM on Friday. But when they were kids they'd hung out on the weekend, so Phoenix does have proof that Edgeworth did, once upon a time, exist on Saturday and Sunday.
What the hell does he do on the weekend?
Attend the opera, probably. Or go to a winery or something. Practice his smug asshole expression in the mirror. Pluck his eyebrows. Fucking guy.
(Phoenix spends some of his lazy Saturday morning fantasizing about Edgeworth. It's Concerningly Good.)
Series
- Part 5 of Rivals With Benefits
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Miles is attracted to Wright, yes; it's a horrible but undeniable truth. Surely, though, there's a way to manage this? A way to be around him without immediately ending up with no pants on?
Well, if there is, he hasn't figured it out yet.Miles gets trapped at his office door by Wright, which quickly leads into time-pressure sex. Miles POV, complete with edible-looking Phoenix and constant self-recrimination.
Excerpt:
Eventually he's considering an escape through the nearest window, because after five minutes, six, seven interminable sixty-second-long minutes of discussion of their current cases, of office gossip, of the weather for God's sake, Wright still won't go away.Miles could shout at him, perhaps? Or say something incredibly rude and cutting. Which wouldn't be difficult, given Wright's general… Wright-ness. His tie isn't tied properly, for one. And his suit needs a cleaning. His shoes are scuffed. His satchel's half-buckled. His eyebrows… the less said, the better.
And yet, and yet… The needle's in the yellow zone. Constantly. And it's vibrating.
Series
- Part 6 of Rivals With Benefits
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Summary
Phoenix is pulling an all-nighter at Wright & Co, desperately trying to get his shit together for tomorrow's case. He really, really does not need Edgeworth showing up, especially to yell at him, especially to act really weird - hey, wait a minute--
Miles Edgeworth works something out. Phoenix Wright has no idea what the fuck is going on.
Excerpt:
"Listen to me, Wright," Edgeworth snaps, voice low now, and steps way too close to him. "If anyone gets to tell me how to behave, it certainly isn't you. Honestly - you? You can't control your hair. You can't control a witness. You can't control a courtroom. You may as well add me to the long list of things you can't control." Inches away now, practically snarling: the Demon Prosecutor, large as life, and intimidating as hell.
Except… Phoenix isn't intimidated.
In fact, Phoenix suddenly has a weird hunch.Series
- Part 7 of Rivals With Benefits