Auditor's "No, I'm Not a Human" fanfiction.
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Nights like this always have me wondering for more... The human mind is truly a wonder when it is left to its own devices. Alone, it fills the silence with shapes and whispers that shouldn’t exist. I trace the nick on my chin in the dark, feel the stubble along my jaw, reminders that I’m still here, still breathing.
The stars outside burn too bright, too close, like they’re watching. And then—movement... and God it makes the spot between my legs warm.
OR:
huge protagonist yap fest before he accidentally jerks it in front of the super visitor from that one window haha lol.
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The world’s burning, the radio says don’t go outside at night, and I know better—but being alone makes you reckless. So I sit on my porch with a bowl of sad pelmeni and pretend I’m not waiting for something to happen.
OR:
the protagonist sits on his porch and watches as the world threatens to end right then and there only to get jumpscared by the pale visitor
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your life flashing before your eyes? by BIGBADAUD99
Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)
09 Nov 2025
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She’s standing outside, beckoning me to let her in. Her hair catches the moonlight just like I remember, and her smile—it’s perfect, too perfect. I can’t tell if it’s her… or something wearing her skin. My chest tightens, my mind screaming not to open the door, but the part of me that’s lonely, desperate, and stubborn won’t look away. Something about her calls to me, even if every instinct warns that this isn’t the woman I lost.
OR:
the protagonist lets something in that he thinks is his wife... until he realizes it isn't at the last moment.
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it'll come to you, wrapped in gift paper and a kiss by BIGBADAUD99
Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)
28 Jan 2026
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Adélie penguins, offer shiny pebbles as a courtship ritual, essentially proposing to a female; if she accepts by taking the stone, they form a pair bond and use the pebbles to build a nest, a vital structure for their eggs.
Cute. Sweet. Adorable even,
I looked at the can of peaches on my nightstand.
The jar of kombucha beside it.
Both cold when I found them. Both left on my porch. Both things I took into my home.I’m not a penguin.
And the Pale Visitor sure as hell isn’t either.
But those penguins’ little “pebble proposals”…?God help me—
I’ve already accepted the stones.OR: pale visitor gives protagonist lots of gifts before giving protagonist the biggest gift of all :3 The week ensues!
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and there's sparkly-fizz in my nethers whenever he is around by BIGBADAUD99
Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)
11 Jan 2026
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Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin—it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
I didn’t open the door.
That’s the first thing people get wrong about me—I don’t rush. I listen. So when the knock came, thin and polite, like it had practiced in the mirror. I stayed where I was and leaned into the peephole.
The glass warped him.
Tall thing. Pale like milk left out too long. His shape didn’t sit right in the frame—too much shoulder, not enough certainty. Like he’d been poured into a man and forgot to level himself. Fortunately, I was pretty eager for a tall glass of milk.
OR: protagonist out freaks pale visitor
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spare the rod, spoil the miserable, sorrowful, and neglected child. by BIGBADAUD99
Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)
18 Jan 2026
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Spare the rod, and the child will grow crooked.
That is what my father believes.
That is what my mother allows.I turn sixteen already knowing how to bow my head, how to hold my tongue, how to call fear love. I don't feel human---
It is a poem.
It is a mistake.
and it might just be everythingor:
Protag character study as in where his father finds out he got a love letter from another boy.
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love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope... but i still can't tell which one I'm looking through. by BIGBADAUD99
Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)
31 Jan 2026
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He who is not jealous is not in love.
It was not love that is blind, but jealousy… But I am not jealous. I am envious. A fine line between the two sibling words. Jealousy is when you worry someone will take what you have. Envy is wanting what someone else has. And I am exceptionally envious of the denizens that live in my house. Envy excels in exciting jealousy. It lurks at the bottom of the human heart like a viper in its hole.
The house has learned new sounds, and none of them belong to me... and I am envious of my denizens.
or:
Protagonist is saddened at the fact that all of his inhabitants are getting together, only to realize that they want him too
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death is just the natural end and the supernatural beginning by BIGBADAUD99
Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)
22 Feb 2026
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They say the sightings are decreasing.
They say the Sun has stabilized. They say containment is working. They say the Visitors are retreating.
They say many things.
Predators do not retreat. They reposition.
I smoke because it keeps my hands occupied. If my hands are busy, they cannot shake. The countryside beyond my window lies flat and gray, exhausted by winter. The graveyard beside the house looks almost gentle beneath the melting snow. Headstones tilt like tired teeth. The world appears calm.
It's not.
or: protag works as a mortician and after the events of the cataclysm, he sees a familiar face :3
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